Hide and Seek
A/N: This is actually only 995 words.
"Fix me with Photoshop! Phoootoooshhhhop!" Gaster moaned, his voice glitching. "I know you can do it!"
"gaster, youre the only one who specializes in that sorta thing." Sans reminded.
"HOW WOULD PHOTOSHOP EVEN FIX THAT?" Papyrus asked skeptically.
"PHOTOSHO... P!" Gaster said, popping the P sound.
"Wait! I know someone else who's good at Photoshop!" Undyne exclaimed.
"WHO?" Papyrus asked in suspense.
Chara felt herself land on a bed of flowers.
In the history of the game, they understood this as the same bed of flowers they fell onto in the middle of all the adventures here in the underground.
Did it work? They asked themselves.
They raised a hand, and the useless box faded into reality in front of them.
Their eyes hungrily watched the reset button.
Slowly, but surely, they pressed the button.
They felt pressure behind it.
Finally! They thought. I'm gonna get rid of this stupid fucking timeli—
Their fingers didn't go so far with the reset button. It stayed in its place.
"Oh... Are YOU FU—"
"Young lady!" Flowey popped out of the ground beside them. "Stop with the profanity! That's too much already!"
"Oh, yeah, Asriel? It didn't work! It's not working! I can't reset!" Chara sat up. "Your theory about angels? It was wrong! It's not correct! It's false! It's not true! It's a LIE! You lied to me, you shady sociopathic psychopath you..."
"Of course, it was a theory." Flowey replied, rolling his eyes. "Don't you know what a theory is?"
"You're supposed to represent facts!"
"I'm supposed to represent facts? Wait, wha... You have to be mistaken. I never said any of that."
Through Chara's anger, something appeared on the useless box.
*a ghostly chill went up your spine.
*you hear the laugh of the dead.
Chara stood up, yelling at the heavens. "Oh, Napstablook, you copyright bastard! Don't think I didn't forget what you did!"
"What did he do?" Flowey asked.
"He copied my song!" Chara fumed.
"You have a song?" That irked Flowey. "I can hardly see you as a singer or a musician of any kind."
"Screw off, Asriel!" Chara stormed away. A number of quotes could be made, but the only thing on their mind was: "You can eat ducking buttercups for as long as you live!"
Flowey shrugged. "I'm dead anyway."
Chara left Flowey by that bed of flowers.
Chara stormed in the way out of the sewers of that hole, and you know where that leads. It leads to the MAD DUMMY. The water in the sewers disgusted Chara, as they walked into a trap. They walked past a DUMMY, who, even though it was Hide and Seek, cannot let himself NOT be contrived. He just had to splash out of the water in front of Chara and scream.
"YARGHHH! I'MMA PIRATE!" the MAD DUMMY yelled.
Chara stumbled back. "What in the what-ing fu..."
"I CANNOT LET MY SECRET IDENTITY BE KNOWN! YOU, A HUMAN, DID NOT REALLY FIND ME!" MAD DUMMY exclaimed, "You see, I'm actually in disguise, thus, you can't legally find or spot me in Hide and Seek. Knotholes!"
"You mean... loophole." they corrected.
"LOOPHOLES! I said loopholes! There, I said it!" MAD DUMMY replied.
I'm just going to kill this guy and... wait. I have a plan! Gang war! Chara narrowed their eyes. "I found you!"
"You found PIRATE DUMMY! But not MAD DUMMY! So—"
Chara cut him off. "SO I STILL FOUND YOU!"
MAD DUMMY's eyes widened. "WHA-WHU-WAIT! We-We can make a deal! You don't fear me! Ye-Y-Yes, you do, you fear me a lot—I MEAN, I FEAR YOU A LOT. I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY I DON'T FEAR YOU, but... ahh, that's too complicated already..."
"WHAT IF... I spare you?" they asked casually.
"You'd spare me?" MAD DUMMY raised a brow. "I thought the game was Hide and Seek?"
"I will not say I legally found you. Unless! Unless..." Chara smirked, "...you work for me."
MAD DUMMY flinched. "As what?"
"As a teammate."
"Oh, that's a... That's a... good offer. I guess. Kinda."
"Say, is your cousin Napstablook?"
"AGAIN WITH THAT QUESTION..." MAD DUMMY sighed, "No. We're ghosts. We're just ghosts. That virgin and I have no relation."
"Napstablook's a virgin?" Chara scrunched her nose. "Augh, TMI. TMI."
"What the bloody hell does that mean? Being a virgin doesn't mean gross, mate." MAD DUMMY stated.
"Never mind." Chara walked through the tunnel and finally got out of the sewer water. They stepped into the crossroads of a lot of destinations. Turning back, they found MAD DUMMY following them.
"What? I'm a teammate, right?" MAD DUMMY asked.
"Yes..." Chara crouched low, spotting a spider. "Where is your queen? May I speak to her? Or, can you call her?" Chara flashed her knife at it, almost scaring the little innocent spider to death. They smirked at it, and the spider ran around frantically. "Find your queen and tell her to meet me."
The spider ran away.
"What was that, lad?" MAD DUMMY asked.
"A meeting with another teammate..." Chara turned to him. "Got some gold?"
"Uh. I'mma ghost."
"You said you were a pirate dummy." Chara stated threateningly.
"Oh. Yes, I am a PIRATE DUMMY!" MAD DUMMY hovered away, frightened. "Just let me get some clients. I'll get gold."
As the MAD DUMMY went away, Flowey popped out of the ground beside Chara,
"Woah, besides telling me to go eat poisoned butterscotch pie, you're doing some business." he remarked, whistling.
"It's all part of the new plan..." Chara flashed a smile.
"What're you planning?" Flowey asked.
Chara's grin got wider.
A/N: Another hour used up. I got sick two weeks ago. I'm feeling better.
ACTUALLY, I'm in a mood for letting my feelings out.
What's with the spoiler tags in this archive? I mean, who would get into the Undertale archive... people who don't know jack shit about the gameand get themselves spoiled? It's UNDERTALE man. This little game's full of spoilers. I'm CONFUSED. WHAT'S THE SPOILER TAG FOR? PEOPLE WHO HAVE TWO SECOND MEMORIES? I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THE UNDERTALE ARCHIVE IF YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT IT. LEST, YOU NEED SPOILER TAGS TO HELP YOU ON YOUR MERRY WAY. You don't go onto Undertale without expecting spoilers. Again, the game's full of them. Why would you go onto FanFiction, a place where people from around the world just write something online, and not expect the full story of Undertale? Who would complain if the spoiler tag isn't there? This story doesn't have a spoiler tag and it's fine. People don't fuck with me here. But what about the others? What in the hell does God have to spoil you in a game that you already know about? Spoilers are already everywhere on Youtube. Spoilers will definitely be here on Fanfiction. What the fuck's use on the spoiler tag? In case someone didn't expect Flowey to be the bad guy? Jesus christ, go weep the fucking grand canyon you pieces of shit that go onto the Undertale Archive and need a spoiler warning. What is this even about? What would you get spoiled about? Gaster's in the fucking game? Oh no, I've been spoiled about a mystery that nobody even knows the answer to! You know what I'd think? I'd think, "That's cool bro... yeah, it's um really cool." What is this rant even about now. Nobodies gonna read here, that's what I'll tell you. Seeing this giant word block will make people steer away. I wanna go watch Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice because I haven't seen it. Nobody's gonna read that. This block of words is too long, nobody will get interested with reading on that they'll just skip it. I'll tell you to say "Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice sucksss" in the review box. But you wouldn't read this. Anyway, I think Captain America: Civil War will be better. X-Men: Apocalypse, uhh no one will watch that. Days of Future Past was a good movie, but I'm not excited about X-Men Apcalypse. Deadpool was good though. R-rated films do good, ya just gotta believe it. Mad Max Fury Road was a good movie too. Great cinematography. Anyway, what's this about? Oh yeah, the Spoiler tag. Jesus christ, why would people go onto the Undertale archive and not expect spoilers and need spoiler tags to guide them? Wait... *checks Undertale archive* Nobody uses the spoiler tag anymore. What's this rant for again? Eh, it's too long and word blocky, no one will actually read this part. I mean, you'd have to be really determined. Uh, good for you, if you actually read all this. I guess, the Spoiler tags about the endings of both stories might come to a shock to people, but that was the appeal back then, people knew there were two to three endings. But now? The spoiler tag is useless. Everyone knows the Undertale in and out in this archive. I mean, everyone reading this will eventually agree with me because this story was full of the spoilers and I didn't even tell you and you didn't even notice. Man, I've been sick for two weeks, and you know what you long for when you get sick? The answer is a cold drink. Because you can never get cold beverages when you're sick. At least, my family doesn't. And I finally got my cold drink two days ago and yesterday, but it wasn't cold enough. But ehh, I digress. What's this about again? Spoiler tags, right... Why did I antagonize them again? I don't get it. I read this block lf text and it doesn't click with me anymore. I don't agree with my box of text anymore THAT I JUST WROTE TWO MINUTES AGO. WOW, WHAT DO I HAVE? TWO SECOND MEMORY? JESUS CHRIST, THAT JOKE WAS IN TERRIBLE TASTE. ACTUALLY, NO IT ISN'T. THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE THAT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT A MOMENT AGO AND USED IT. Huh, this is taking up most of the chapter now. I mean, it only had a thousand word count. Now it's reaching two thousand. Half of this chapter was just bullshit Author's rant. I'm sorry for wasting your time here, I just had to say something about the spoiler tag. Sorry for making you cry the grand canyon, uhh this is an awkward ending. I guess I'll say goodbye as you wait for the next chapter that I'm already working on. My god, this big block of text is just a big block of useless text. I really want to go watch Badman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I think I'll go see that Lego Batman movie coming out in 2017. Give the rights back to Marvel, DC. Marvel will do a good Superman movie. What am I talking about? These are two corporate figures that will never give each other the legal rights to their characters. Anyway, I'll just go away and you'll never have to read another of these big block of words nightmare. Goodbye, have a safe trip, don't let the bed bugs bite. They bite hard, I mean I'm having a rash on my leg... Never mind, I said too much. TMI, TMI, like Chara would say. Anyway, don't let that shadowy figure in your window get you. Hehehe. Made you look. If you're still reading, that is. Uh, never mind, this will be the actual good bye.
((Is this against the rules? No, it actually isn't. You got your story up there. Don't look here. It's the Author's notes.))