A/N: WARNING! Mention of physical and sexual abuse in this chapter.

Enjoy

Chapter 28: To rebuild a home

My eyes opened.

White.

The ceiling is white, it's not sky blue like my room.

I sit up on the bed, it's not my bed.

I look down at myself, it's not my clothes. It's red and dark red with square patterns. It looks like something Uncle Luke would wear, I raise my hands, the sleeves are so long, I look inside of the shirt, I'm not wearing anything else. Where's my clothes?

I slowly put my left foot and then right foot down on the floor. The floor is cold, where's the carpet?

I look around, the room is big, there's two doors and a gigantic window. I walk to the window.

I'm high up, am I in New York?

No, I'm not. I see the Calgary Tower right down the center of the street.

I think I hear people talking. I walk closer to one of the doors.

"If I was just a few seconds earlier, you know? If I was just a few seconds earlier."

That's Uncle Luke's voice! But he sounded different, it's like he has a cold. I quietly open the door a little so I can peek outside without people out there noticing.

Uncle Luke is sitting at one of the chairs near a table. I couldn't see his face because he buried it with his hands. I see Lorelai too, she is sitting next to Uncle Luke and pulling out tissues. I look to the other side, there's Rory sleeping on the sofa. Is this Stars Hollow? But I really saw the tower.

"If only you were there, Lorelai. He was...that son of a bitch...he..he put.."

Uncle Luke is crying. Uncle Luke never cries. One time the deep fryer deep fried his finger and he didn't even shed a tear. Who's the son of a bitch? What happened?

I'm trying hard to remember. I was in my room, going to bed, Charles came in, he talked and I ran. Mom died. Mom's dead. I suddenly remember again. Charles killed mom? I started to pant, did I kill mom? Where's mom? I should go out.

There's a knock on the main door, I quickly jump back to bed, maybe it's Charles. Charles killed mom, maybe he's here to kill me too. And Uncle Luke, and Lorelai and Rory. I'm scared. I can't be Wolverine anymore, Charles can kill Wolverine.

Lorelai went to the door and opened it to greet a man.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." Henry hugged Lorelai, he was as devastated as Luke was. "I should have known better."

Luke walked up to the door, Henry hugged him as well. "Luke, I'm so sorry. He never did anything before 9."

Luke tried to speak in his normal voice, "It's alright, Henry, you did what you could, and we can't thank you enough for that. It was all my fault. If I had just picked Jess up that day in New York, none of this could have happened." Luke went back and sat down, tears were still streaming down his face.

"I don't think I'll be good enough to take care of Jess, not before, not now and not in the future." Luke continued after taking a deep breath.

Lorelai sat next to him, "What are you talking about Luke?! You're Jess' only family left! You cannot beat yourself down right now.:

"I'm not beating myself down. Can't you see? I'm incapable! I messed up four times! One when Jack was bringing Jess back, second when Jess went to New York and needed me! Third, when Liz pulled Jess back and I just left! Now the fourth time, I didn't stop Liz from her drug addiction and was too late to save Jess! I can't! Lorelai I can't!"

Henry sat on another chair. "Luke. Listen to me. I know how you feel. You're feeling guilt, angry and heartbroken. And that scene would never disappear in your memory. It just keeps coming back from time to time, but it will heal. We're feeling like crap right now but can you imagine what Jess is feeling, huh? Jess must be feeling ten times worse than us! He saw his mother suffer and die from what Charles did to him! He's just eight years old, for christ's sake! You can't afford not being strong right now! Don't be selfish! Jess needs you! He needs you more than anyone else!"

Luke slightly wiped his face with his hands and nodded.

"Jess?" Lorelai said softly when she noticed Jess was behind the bedroom door peeking out. Jess ran and hid under the blanket as soon as he saw the three adults looking at him.

Luke walked into the bedroom and sat next to the bed.

"Hey, Jess?" Luke softy said, he tried to put his hand on Jess' blanket covered head.

Jess screamed, "No! Don't touch my head!" He ran into the other door in the room. Luke had never heard Jess screaming like that.

Jess locked the door, Luke knocked.

"Jess, it's okay, he's not here anymore, the police caught him. He'll never ever be able to hurt you again. Please come out, I wanna talk to you."

"No!" Jess shouted, his voice trembled. "The last time I talked, mom is dead!"

Luke sighed, the way Jess was scared of him and the scene of Charles in Jess' bedroom rushed back into Luke's mind. His voice started to crack a little again. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Jess. That's all I want to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't save you, I'm sorry."

Jess was sitting down on the floor on the other side of the door, he was crying because he didn't know why he was so scared of Luke touching his head. He loves Luke but everything about Luke suddenly reminded him of Charles. And Charles made him scared, made him hurt and made his mom dead. He could hear Luke's trembling voice through the door, somehow he just knew Luke was sitting down on the other side of the door too.

Lorelai and Henry were by the bedroom door and heard everything. They knew they should leave the uncle and nephew there for some alone time. Henry went and called Claire to fly to Calgary for some assistance. Lorelai went back on to check on Rory.

The uncle and nephew each sat on one side of the door, in silence for more than 20 minutes. No words were exchanged.

"Mom's dead?" I heard Jess little voice through the door.

I took a deep breath, "Yes."

Then I heard some more sniffles. How do I make this easier for him? "She passed away peacefully. She had a smile on her face."

No reply.

"Am I going to be like Oliver Twist now?"

Oliver Twist? Oh shit, he's asking if he's going to be an orphan. "No, Jess, no, never. You still have me."

"You said you don't want me." His voice started trembling again.

"No, no it's not like that. I was just scared that I will fail you again, Jess." I confessed.

I heard the lock click, then the door opened. Jess stepped out of the door. He stood in front of me while I was still sitting down. I didn't know what to do, I looked him in the eyes, all I saw was fright and insecurity reflected there. Then I looked at his right cheek, the bruise was starting to wail up in purple. Fuck, how did I let that happen! Jess looks so small in that plaid shirt of mine. He's just a little kid, how's he going to overcome this? Be strong Luke, you can't shed another tear, he needs you to be strong.

I wanted to give the poor boy a hug, but I know it's not possible now. I gave him a little smile, "Hey."

Tears just rolled down one by one from his eyes after he heard me talking to him, he looked like he was trying to find the courage to talk to me. Give him time, Luke, give him time.

"It hurt."

He sobbed, the 'it hurt' hurt me on so many levels, I just wanted to give him a hug and pat him on the head and tell him everything is okay. That scene of Charles pushing...fuck, don't tear up!

He continued in his weak little voice, more tears rolled down on his face,

"I want a hug, but I'm scared."

I took a deep breath, couldn't hold it anymore, my tears just rolled down. "Jess."

I tried to hold out my arms, hoping that he would let it out. He looked at my arms, he cried even harder, I knew he really wanted to, but he was too frightened that something bad would happen if he let me hug him.

He walked two steps closer to me. He wiggled his right hand out of the long sleeves, he hold up his thumb and put it right under my right eye. I closed my eyes. He wiped a tear that was rolling down my face. He whispered,

"Don't cry."

I cried and I hugged him. He cried and I felt his arms wrapping my neck tightly. I felt his body has loosened up, as if he finally decided to give up all his worries and problems to me and he finally felt safe.

I'm never letting anything happen to him. Ever.

The next morning 9am Hotel

Henry booked a hotel room for the four near his apartment in downtown. The adults were all in the living room discussing the details of all the legal matters regarding Jess' legal guardianship, Liz's death and Charles' situation. Rory was sitting on the couch, reading a new book that she has started, The Secret Garden. She was told not to disturb Jess for now, let him decide when he wants to talk again. Rory looked over to the large conference table in their president hotel room, the adults were very focused on discussing something about Jess' dad, court dates, funeral and jail time. Rory was not interested, she just wanted to see Jess. She closed her book and secretly walked into Jess' room. She opened the door and slid in.

Jess quickly hid himself inside his blanket when he heard the door open.

"It's me Jess," Rory whispered and walked up to him. The adults didn't really fill her in with the details, they just told her a bad guy named Charles hurt Jess and Jess just needed some time to adjust.

Jess remembered the familiar voice, he peeked out from the blanket. Rory saw Jess' eyes. She smiled and waved with her little hand, "Hi." she whispered.

"Hi." Jess replied inside his blanket. He then saw Rory holding a book, "The Secret Garden?"

Rory nodded, "It's a lovely book."

She walked closer to Jess, right beside his bed. Rory wanted to hand the book to Jess. Jess started panting a little. He still has some trusting issues, he covered himself entirely again and shouted from the bed, "Go away!"

Rory was shocked, she stepped back a little. Luke and Lorelai barged into the room.

"Rory! I told you not to disturb Jess!" Lorelai shouted. Lorelai seldom ever yelled at Rory, Rory didn't understand why all of a sudden, Jess was yelling and her mom was also yelling at her. Rory's tears were stored up and ready to roll down from the scolding.

Luke went up to Jess to see if he's okay, and then he calmed Lorelai down, "It's okay, Lorelai. Calm down."

"Rory it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong, I know you just wanna talk to Jess, but Jess is not feeling so well now." He went up to the little girl and gave her a hug.

Jess peeked out from his blanket again, Rory was crying on Uncle Luke's shoulder while Lorelai was walking out and was talking to a lady standing by the door.

The lady proceeded to walk closer and closer to him. Luke carried Rory out of the room and then came back in.

"Jess, this is Claire. Claire is here to help. She wants to have a little chat with you." Luke told Jess.

Jess sat up and looked at Luke and then at Claire who had a warm smile on her face, looking at him.

"Can you stay while we talk?" Jess whispered to Luke.

Luke nodded.

"How are you feeling Jess?" Claire asked, she was holding a note pad.

Jess didn't feel like answering this stranger but Luke encouraged him.

"Jess, I know it's hard to talk right now, but Claire is here to help but if you don't talk she can't help us."

Jess looked at Luke, he reached out his hands, he wanted Luke to carry him. After yesterday night, Jess could only fully trust Luke and no one else. Luke gently carried the boy and let him lay his head on his shoulder.

Jess whispered to Luke, "I'm okay."

"He said he's okay." Luke told Claire. Claire nodded.

"You know Jess, I was Charles' daughter, Henry's brother. You don't.." Claire was cut off my Jess' yelling.

Jess started yelling. He kicked and covered his ears, "No Charles! No Charles!"

Luke tried to calm him down. "Shhh..buddy. Calm down, Char...he's not here. And I'm here remember? Look at my knuckles, Jess look at my knuckles."

Jess was still breathing heavily but he stopped kicking and looked at Luke's knuckles. Luke continued, "See the little bruises?'

Jess nodded, Luke explained, "I beat the crap out of Char..the monster with my knuckles. And I can do it again and again if he's here to even try to touch your hair. I'm not kidding."

Luke felt Jess' breathing softened after. Claire continued,

"I know this is hard, but do you remember anything of that night Jess?"

Jess nodded, "A little bit."

"Okay, that's good. Tell me the little bit."

"He was in my room, and then I ran,"

"Why did you run Jess?" Claire asked softly.

'"Because, he was crazy."

"He was crazy?"

Jess nodded. "He wanted to teach me how to pee. I know how to pee."

Luke took a deep breathe, that scene rushed into his mind again.

"Okay Jess you did the right thing, you should run. And where did you run to?"

"I ran to mom's room and she was dead." Jess' voice started to tremble, the scene of seeing his mom not blinking, moving or breathing rushed back.

Claire asked again softly, "Then what happened?"

"He caught me and we were in my room again."

Claire nodded and jotted down notes, "Did he do anything to you when you were in the room with him?"

Jess paused for a while, "He slapped my face and then he took off my clothes. And then I don't really remember. It suddenly hurts."

"Your face hurts?"

"No, it's somewhere else." Jess said quietly.

Luke closed his eyes and his hands were clenched into a tight fist. He just wanted to kill Charles right now, right here.

Claire took out a doll from her purse, "Can you point at the places that you feel pain, Jess?"

Jess nodded, and then he looked at the doll, he pointed at the right arm of the doll. Then he pulled the collar of his cotton white shirt to show Claire the bruise on his shoulder, "He slammed my shoulder on to the ground."

Luke took a deep breath, not sure if he could handle more information. Claire jotted down the notes.

"You're doing a very good job Jess, is that all the places you felt pain?"

Jess shook his head. He turned the doll's body and pointed to the jeans of the doll. "I don't know what he did, I couldn't see. But it hurts."

Luke couldn't take it anymore, that scene came up again. "Excuse me, I just need to go to the washroom." He put down Jess and sat him back on the bed, "Jess I'll just be a minute okay? Don't worry, I'll be right behind the door, okay?"

Jess wanted to say no, but he just nodded.

"Did that happen before? Did he make that pain before that day?"

Jess shook his head.

Claire jotted down all the notes and put it back to her purse and smiled at Jess, "You are a very brave boy Jess. When I was your age, he also hurt me and Henry, but we were too afraid to tell anyone. You did a really good job of telling me and Uncle Luke. You did a big help, you will be the hero who put him in jail."

"In jail?" Jess asked.

"Yes, what he did was terrible and wrong, he will be put in jail for a very, very long time."

Jess paused for a little, then he said quietly, "I don't know if I will be normal again."

Claire gave him an assuring smile. "You will be, it will take time, but you will. Look at me and Henry, we are both normal again. It took time and took us different ways to get back to normal but you will. Don't you worry. Henry and I will always help you when you need help okay?"

Jess nodded, he didn't like the boy he is right now, scared of everything and everyone.

Luke returned, Jess looked up to him, "I want to see Rory."

Luke gave him a smile and nodded, he brought Rory into the room. Rory was holding a pencil, orange highlighter and her book, The Secret Garden.

Claire said goodbye and walked out of the room, Luke also walked out after asking if Jess was comfortable with only Rory there. Jess felt a little better after talking to Claire, he felt like he will be okay with Rory.

Lorelai explained more with Rory about the situation after she stopped crying. She understood that Jess was scared to talk to people. She sat by a chair next to Jess' bed. She flipped to a page of the book, she highlighted a sentence and wrote something down in the space under the sentence. She passed the book to Jess.

Jess took the book and read the highlighted sentence,

She had never seen a child who sat so still without doing anything.

Then he read the line under that sentence, it was Rory's handwriting.

How are you Jess?

Jess flipped to another page, he had read this book just the other day. He looked at Rory. Rory handed him the highlighter and pencil.

Thoughts...just mere thoughts...are as powerful as electric batteries, as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison.

Then he wrote something under the sentence he highlighted then passed it to Rory.

Rory read the highlighted sentence then the handwritten part.

I'm having a lot of thoughts now Rory. Electric batteries, sunlight and poison, all of them. My head is exploded with thoughts. It hurts because most of the thoughts are poison.

Rory looked at Jess, she nodded in understanding. She flipped to another page and highlighted something and wrote a line down. She then passed it to Jess.

Jess read,

At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done-then it is done.

You can do it, Jess. No matter what happened, I know you can overcome it. I just know.

It was the first time in days since Jess had a smile on his face. He looked at Rory and smiled before he turned to another page, quickly highlighted something and wrote something down and handed it to Rory. He looked at Rory's face the entire time when she was reading it.

That is the magic. Being alive is the magic, being strong is the Magic. The magic is in me, the magic is in me.

I will I promise. Just not now.

A/N Thank you for reading! Finally after chapters and chapters of torture, we are slowly heading back to the light. Let me know what you think of this chapter! Reviews are always greatly appreciated! Till then...stay tuned!

Anon1, thank you for your review! Haha soooorry! You like tim hortons?! Lol, I don't drink coffee so I don't know :p I'm a tea person, I drink black tea in the morning, black tea late afternoon and tea with honey at night. I know, very British of me. Glad you liked the space analogy, it took some thoughts to that one and Jess' perspective as well. It is not as easy as I thought it would be when you try to think like an 8 year old to write the part. You have visited more places in Canada than I have! So jealous! I've only been to, Vancouver, Kelowna, Toronto, Edmonton, Banff, and Halifax.

Nancy, thank you for your review! Yes, it was difficult to read, when we all just love little Jess so much and we were literally reading what kind of torture he was going through. It is hard to read. Ha, you were right, Luke cannot have just gone in save Jess without beating the crap out of Charles, which reminds me of that awesome scene where Luke and Christopher fight and Luke just threw his leather jacket on the ground and punched him right across the face. I thought I hated watching UFC and all that. But I was all like, ' Yeah! Get him Luke, that's it! Right on!' It definitely will take time to recover especially for Jess and Luke the Mr. Responsibility. Haha, don't worry about the rambling, l like reading your rambling! Thank you again!