Hide and Seek

Team Sans: 12 votes

Team Undyne: 15 votes

I think it's rigged. I got 7 reviews in a row for Team Undyne in five minutes from a guest. I'm guessing Undyne was so determined to win this contest that she got on the internet and tried to outnumber the Team Sans count. I didn't think that small joke at the end there would get so much attention. But it did. Anyway.

"Monsters are still playing hide and seek. So we can't have our Civil War." Undyne said sadly.

"awww, i was really hoping to gaster-blast every one of you." Sans said.

"HAHAHA! WELL, TOO BAD! I WON'T BE MAKING RIDICULOUSLY PAINFUL CHOICES!" Papyrus exclaimed boldly. "I AM FREE! FREE TO NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY BESTEST BUDDIES!" He then lowered his voice to a whisper. "AM I ON THE ROYAL GUARD?"

"No." Undyne answered. She scratched her eyepatch. "You didn't specifically pick me."

"if he picked you, i'll specifically gaster-blast your face off in a beautiful manner." Sans replied.

"Beautiful?" she repeated.

"it's cause i'm fabulous!" he retorted.

"That's my line!" A robotic voice called from... somewhere. "You stole it! That's it. I'm copyrighting that line! I'll sue you!"

"sheesh," Sans shrugged. "i forgot you existed."

"Yeah..." Undyne said, feeling weirded out. "I almost forgot he existed too."

"WHAT? HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE... THE ROBOT GUY?" Papyrus narrowed his eyes. "COME TO THINK OF IT... I WILL ADMIT, I FORGOT HIM."

"dang, what a waste for a hipster joke." Sans kicked a rock on its side. ""i kinda fancy mettaton. oh you probably never heard of him, he's not mainstream.""

"That was a bad joke." Undyne remarked.

"hey, it was improv." Sans told her. "i'm bad at improv."

"THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE YOU'RE IRONICALLY GREAT AT IMPROV." Papyrus explained.

Sans beamed at his bro. He shrugged, "'sides, you dont laugh at my jokes."

"Ha, ha, ha," Undyne laughed emotionlessly.

Sometime later...

"what do you think the bad guys are doing right now?" Sans asked.

"Probably doing something evil." Undyne said, "I could go after them right now. But, you know. I don't know where they are."

"HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN "TEAM SANS" AND "TEAM UNDYNE"?" Papyrus asked.

Undyne and Sans glanced at each other.

"team papyrus?" Sans tried.

"NO! BUT, UH... THAT WOULD BE PREFERABLE. I LIKE THAT IDEA. YA KNOW WHAT, THAT IS BETTER THAN TEAM SANS AND TEAM UNDYNE COMBINED AND MULTIPLIED BY A THOUSAND FOLD—"

"I'll never let you on the Royal Guard." Undyne interrupted while crossing her arms, butthurt by an accusation that something was better than her.

"WHAT."

"just get to the point, papyrus." Sans added.

"OKAY, MY IDEA WAS... TEAM BUTTERSCOTCH OR TEAM CINNAMON?"

Sans and Undyne glanced at each other again. They nodded at each other understandingly.

"well, that's easy. team cinnamon." Sans shrugged confidently.

Undyne looked uneasy. "You're kidding, right?"

Sans glared at her, looking at her in disgust. "you like butterscotch?"

"Butterscotch is the best damn thing in the whole world!" Undyne stated, "Cinnamon, I can respect, but butterscotch is better."

"take that back! cinnamon tastes a hell of a lot better!" Sans retorted. "butterscotch is pisswash!" Undyne gasped. "yeah! i said it. what are you gonna do about it? start a war? try it, buttershit eater! theres no one else to back you up, amirite pap?" He looked around for his bro. "pap?"

Papyrus was long gone.

"clever girl, hid before it escalated." Sans looked back at Undyne who shook with rage.

"You! I respected you! I respected cinnamon! But you took it too far..." Undyne exclaimed. "CINNAMON AIN'T SHIT. CINNAMON IS FOR THE WEAK. SCREW YOU THE HELL UP, SANS, AND ALL YOU STAND FOR!" Undyne threw her bottle of water at his feet, soaking his slippers. "You ASS-BUCKET. How even dare you?"

"dont wet my slippers, bitch-bag." Sans threatened. "you ass-licking, buttershit-kinking, melamodamiac son of a bastard bag of cowardly chicken-filled gravy goodness... you peuromaic asshole. seventy-feet tall piece of shit you flabbergasting megalomaniac unliving zombie piece of shit. and your pterodactyl wings of justice aint gonna save your ass when im done with you, you overgrown chicken."

"Those aren't even... Those aren't even real words anymore." Undyne replied. "Do you even sense dude?"

"do you even taste, you fathering egg-layer?" Sans retorted, "cinnamon is the best damn thing in the world. your buttershit cant compare."

"First off, I don't think this is about the butterscotch or the cinnamon thing anymore. You're just mad at me!" Undyne stated.

"never! you just have an opinion and i wont stand and live with it!" Sans said, "change your opinion and ill let this one slide, kapeesh?"

"Was that an insult at the end there?" Undyne asked.

"no." Sans looked around. "yes. kidding! of course not, you overgrown chicken."

"See? This is what I'm talking about. Those aren't real words. I'm a fish, not a chicken."

"youre a sperm whale!" Sans tried, "youre big and fat and youre an overall sperm!"

Offended, Undyne gasped and immediately retaliated. "No! You're a sperm whale! You're big and fat and an overall sperm! You're the giant overgrown chicken, because you know what chicken and skeletons have in common? Bones!" She narrowed her eyes. "And you know what? You're a bore, Sans! A bore!"

Sans was speechless. "y-y-y-youuu take that back!"

Papyrus entered the room. "I have ice cream!"

"Ooh! Ice cream!" They all stopped their fighting and took the cones of ice cream. Undyne and Sans' faces turned to disgust once they realized they were eating butterscotch and cinnamon ice creak respectively. Sans glared at his butterscotch ice cream cone, before glaring at Undyne, and then finding out she was giving him the stink eye. Papyrus happily enjoyed his vanilla cone, when suddenly...

"buttershit is actually really good..." Sans remarked distastefully, crushing the cone in his hands.

"Cinnamon still stands low on my radar." Undyne retorted.

Sans slammed his hands against the table that was never mentioned. "eat the cinnamon cone! eat it! eat it and tell me it tastes disgusting!"

Undyne threw the cone in his face and yelled, "IT TASTES FOUL AND DISGUSTING!"

Sans gripped the sides of the table angrily, letting it wobble with his rage. He raised his hand, but stopped himself.

"SUMMON IT!" Undyne screeched. "SUMMON THE DAMN THING! Kill me, you pussycat!"

Sans let out a battle cry. "marthaaaaa!"

"Team BUTTERSCOTCH!"

Chara shivered in a blanket and had a hot towel place over their head. MAD DUMMY stayed by their side, blowing a hair dryer at their face.

Flowey wondered, "I wonder what the bad guys are doing."

"Probably something evil." Chara replied.

"Aren't we the bad guys?" MAD DUMMY asked.

"Shhh, we have to confuse the readers." Flowey told them.

"What readers?" Chara groggily demanded.

"Oh, you actually think they're evil?" Flowey raised a brow. "We're the bad guys."

"What? No way." Chara replied, their voice monotone.

"By the way, call me." Flowey winked at us. "My number is 1-800-team butterscotch and cinnamon tastes great together, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it tastes great together. But what in the actual hell are you talking about?" Chara asked.

Muffet finally came to a decision. "I will join you guys. Your embarrassment and humility are a great reward, considering you're a demon."

Chara groaned.