Hide and Seek

Sans huffed as he wiped the sweat off his brow.

It had been seven hours since the beginning of the war, and life had not been treating him well. God must've been betting against him. His bony fingers scraped the dirt tunnel he dug for himself. Sandbags surrounded him for safety against stray bullets. He held on to his moss green helmet and peeked over the rocky wasteland.

For miles around, it seemed that the whole Underground had been completely empty. Which it actually was, because all the monsters were still playing Hide and Seek. Sans wiped another drop of sweat off the brow of his skull, wiping his wet finger onto his camouflage clothes. He gulped in a few deep breaths, before venturing deeper into the tunnel he made for himself.

His energy was low. He was depleted of Gaster blasters and telekinetic energy, so all he had was a toy rifle. There were only seven small bullets. Sans picked up a plastic bag of plastic bullets, adding thirty more to his arsenal.

"yesss..." he smiled. "more ammunition. that fish monster wont see whats coming."

Sans crawled under the net of metal hooks; his trap for Undyne the Undying. The skeleton glowered, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He dug his finger into the dirt tunnel, scratching a message on it. It read: I HOPE U DIE.

Sans kept crawling through until he reached the end. He ripped open the plastic bag in a masculine way, pouring the thirty plastic bullets into his rifle magazine. Sans loaded the gun and pulled himself out of the trench. He took his binoculars and peeked over the wasteland. There was still no sign of Undyne.

Sans wiped the sweat off his brow again, turning around and sticking his back against the dirt tunnel. He gripped the rifle tightly in his hands, clutching it to his ribcage.

A paper airplane flew into his dirt tunnel. Sans snatched it out of the air and opened it.

He read the letter.

"yadda yadda yadda... lunch break... ketchup... pause in the war..." Sans crumpled the paper into a ball. "alright! lunch break."

Sans stood up and banged his head against the blue painted ceiling. He rubbed his skull, punching the ceiling in frustration.

"aghhh... what the frisk?" Sans cursed.

Later...

Sans sat on a table with Undyne and Papyrus by his side. Alphys was wearing a chef uniform and presented their lunch. She placed a tray on the table, with three bowls of ramen. One had ketchup all over it, the other had spaghetti sauce, and the last had tartar sauce with butterscotch pie.

Sans sniffed the butterscotch in the air and glared at Undyne. The fish smirked at him.

Papyrus received his spaghetti ramen. "THANK YOU, ALPHYS!"

"Y-y-y-your w-w-wel-welcome," Alphys stuttered. She looked at her beak confusedly. "S-s-t-t-top s-stut-t-terring..." She groaned and went back to the lab. "I'll fix my social anxiety somehow..."

Papyrus began eating his food noisily while Sans and Undyne quietly ate. Papyrus glanced at the two, who were sitting together.

"SO, HOW'S IT GOING?" Papyrus asked.

Sans pulled out a tissue, blew his nose into it, and crumpled it into a ball. He tossed it at Undyne's face, which harmlessly bounced off.

"THAT BAD, HUH?" Papyrus asked, eyes half-closed.

Undyne reached over under the table and brought out a small piano. She cracked her knuckles and began playing her theme song. Her fingers expertly swam through the keys, playing a perfect rendition of Battle Against a True Hero.

"YOU... YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT." Papyrus stated.

Sans slammed his fist on the table, and a trombone fell from the sky. Papyrus looked up bewilderedly, trying to find where Sans kept the trombone. The skeleton started playing sans.

"SANS, I HATE THAT SONG." Papyrus informed.

Sans harrumphed and played a different song. He started playing the Y.M.C.A. anthem.

"BRO, WHAT—"

Undyne changed tracks and played a cross-triple-fusion between Harry Potter, Star Wars and Jurassic Park.

"OKAY..."

Sans rickrolled with the trombone.

"Alright," Chara smacked their lips. "Now that you're on our League of Super Villains, Muffet..."

"That's copyrighted." Flowey informed.

"Oh, really? That's copyrighted?" Chara contemplated at the diner table. They scratched the wooden splinters off. "What about Legion of Doom?"

"Taken."

"Hmm... Injustice League?"

Flowey looked at Chara with eyes half-closed. "Really?"

"Okay, Team Antagonist." Chara settled. Flowey didn't say anything, so they continued. "So, now that you're in the team, Muffet, we'll have to discuss the—"

An orange cat walking on his hind feet, walked up to them with a smoke in his teeth.

"You asked for evil guys to join your team?" the cat asked, looking at the window diner table with the villains. Chara, Flowey and MAD DUMMY sat in one row, while Muffet sat alone opposite them. The four villains looked at him incredulously. "I'm your man."

Immediately, the three on one row started laughing hysterically.

Flowey started wheezing from laughing so much, and Chara bent over and cackled. MAD DUMMY covered his mouth to try and respect the restaurant worker; Burgerpants. The cat dropped his sunglasses and tidied his leather jacket.

"It's... not even funny..." MAD DUMMY said.

"I-I can't stop!" Flowey wheezed, coughing and trying to breathe. "I can't stop laughing!"

"I CAN'T BREATHE!" Chara shouted, sinking under the table, and banging their head against the table stem. They kept laughing so hard they felt like they busted a lung.

Muffet remained silent.

Burgerpants glowered at them. "Fine! I'll go away and wreck the shit out of both your teams!" And he stormed off.

Chara kept laughing, trying to get back to their seat but failing. They slipped and fell and rolled and tumbled and laughed and cackled and reached and slipped again. Rinse and repeat. Flowey laughed so hard his pot fell off the seat and crashed over the floor.

"He's gonna bite us back in the ass, isn't he? HeheheHA!" Chara said between short breaths. They laughed once again. "As-Asriel! Get him back! HAHAHAA!" Chara glanced and then called for MAD DUMMY instead. "D-Dummy! Get 'im back!"

"I-I CAN'T MOVE! I'M PETRIFIED!" MAD DUMMY exclaimed. He continued laughing.

"Muffet! Muffet, man! Get him back!" Chara wheezed.

Muffet got off her seat and went to fetch Burgerpants back.