Merida couldn't sleep that night. She had joined Hiccup at the main hall for dinner with his friends, and listened as they all made plans to leave the next day. However, he hadn't mentioned his travel plans to them yet. After they had finished the business talk the conversation turned towards humour and stories of their day. Merida had smiled at the jokes, and placed a hand on Fishlegs arm in comfort as he told them that an elder dragon had passed on that day. She had felt more comfortable compared to the first time she had eaten with them.

The night had taken an odd turn when Terror had crawled between Merida and Hiccup. Hiccup proceeded to feed him treats while Merida stroked his warm scales. At one point Hiccup had gone to give him a pat, but, by accident, had placed his hand over Merida's.

She had nearly leapt out of her seat in surprise at the warmth of his hand, which had sent a surge of feelings into her belly that left her confused. She had snatched her hand back quickly and looked up at Hiccup to see that he was sitting stiffly, keeping his eyes from meeting hers.

She had felt quite aware of his presence after that moment, ensuring that she was never close enough for it to happen again. Never before had she experienced the sea of emotions that churned in her gut in that moment, and something told her that she didn't want to dwell on them for long. She reminded herself that they were leaving in the morning, and that she would be putting Berk and its inhabitants behind her. They would simply another chapter in her life.

However, once she had gotten home she had found that her emotions didn't want to follow what her brain was demanding, and as a result she tossed and turned.

Finally, after a few hours had passed she gave up the pretense of sleep. She shifted out of her bed, making sure to keep her actions as quiet as possible so as not to wake up Peadre.

She changed out of her night shift and into her tunic, vest and leggings, tying her belt into a knot and securing the small kitchen knife she had taken so long ago. She tip toed by Terror and opened the door just enough to slip through.

Once the door to the hut was closed she took a deep breath of the salty air, she drew her fur vest closed against the chill that came with being out in the wee hours of the night. Merida didn't know where to go, with the exception of a few guards, most people on Berk were asleep in their homes now.

She wandered through the empty paths and looked up at the skies and thought of her home. Her mother would be close to giving birth now. Merida hoped that she wasn't too worried about her and her father, the last thing Elinor needed to do was stress any more than usual. She felt the sliver of homesickness worm itself against the other feelings that had been plaguing her, reminding her that she had a real home that she needed to return to.

A sigh escaped her as she accepted that there was always going to be a part of her that didn't want to leave though. After a month of pretending at being a Viking, there was a part of her that she had been trying to ignore. That part had felt more at home here then she thought she would. Here there was a freedom from her duties as a princess, a simple life where she could just live as herself.

However, she wasn't completely herself here either in the end. Everyone in the village only knew her as a waylaid Viking, not as a princess from Alba. She wondered how different things would be if they knew the truth. She didn't like the idea that people would treat her differently.

Merida walked past the training area for the dragon riders and paused to listen to the breathing and occasional growl from the dragons in their home. She would miss dragons too. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving Terror behind now, and wondered if she could ask Hiccup if she could keep him. A snort escaped her as she thought of her mother's reaction to the little dragon.

A whine snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked around, but couldn't find the source of it. It happened again and she realized that it was coming from a building nearby. Curiosity drove her in that direction, she peeked around the corner and came face to face with a pair of large, deep green eyes causing her to let out a little yelp as she fell back in surprise.

Toothless cocked his head in question at her reaction and looked over at his rider who was already muttering apologizes.

"Merida, I'm sorry, I figured you wanted to be left alone, walking around this late at night. I keep sneaking up on you when I don't mean to. I mean, I meant to once, but aside from that I didn't-!"

She placed a hand over his mouth to silence him, looking around to see if there was anyone nearby. After she didn't spot anyone she realized where her hand was and quickly withdrew it, using her hair to block his view of what was probably, an obvious blush forming on her cheeks.

"It's okay Hiccup" she whispered, "I was just having trouble sleeping." She glanced at him, his expression was closed off, guarded, the same look he had worn at dinner. "Are you okay?"

He blinked and then offered a small smile "yeah, I was feeling the same. There is a lot riding on tomorrow, and I am worried that I won't be able to make that treaty happen with your father."

"Ack, don't worry boyo! My father is an understanding man. And once he knows what I will offer to that deal, well it is sure to challenge any concerns that he might have."

Hiccup glanced around once more, putting a finger to his lips and pointing at a coming Viking. They waited until he had passed, keeping to the shadows of the house they were next to in order to hide themselves from view.

"You know, I never took you up on Toothless today like I promised. What do you say buddy? Feel up to a quick flight?" Toothless rumbled in agreement and looked to Merida. She smiled wide. "Alright then, let's get going!"

He hopped onto the back of Toothless and offered his hand to her, she accepted it and clambered up behind him.

The takeoff was smooth and silent, Merida gingerly held onto Hiccup's shirt trusting him and Toothless not to let her fall. The air was colder higher up, but the excitement of flying kept her mind off of it.

"I wanted to go somewhere we could talk without as much worry. No one really flies at night." Hiccup explained.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" She asked, leaning towards him so that her chin was practically resting on his shoulder in order to hear him better.

Hiccup cleared his throat and looked out ahead. The sun was just beginning to peek out from the horizon, it was hard to tell save for the subtle shift in the fabric on the night sky from the dark blue to purple.

"You mentioned, back at the hut, and again just now, that you were going to use this arranged marriage as a foothold for the treaty... I just, I didn't want you to force yourself to do something you didn't want to for us. The way you talked about it, it's as though you were talking about selling sheep... Err, no offense."

Merida dropped her shoulders and looked out at the sky as a band tightened over her heart. "Marriage in Alba is all about treaties, at least for the noble women." She sighed, "It was always intended that I marry one of the clan leader's sons. At least this way I worked things out so that the choice was actually my own." She looked down and picked at her vest "However, I've never felt anything for them. And to be honest, I don't think any of them like me either."

Hiccup was quiet for a while, Merida took the time to lean back and look up at the sky. She felt so good fly, up here she felt like she could go anywhere. There was part of her that wanted to urge Hiccup onwards, far off into the distance, until they were in a new land. Somewhere they could just escape to.

She glanced over to him and realized that he had been watching her. She expected him to turn back when she caught him, but he kept his gaze steadfast on hers. There was an emotion there that she couldn't name, or maybe just didn't want to, especially when she feared that the same emotion was reflected in her own eyes.

Peadre's warning swam through her head, and she cleared her throat as she sat up straight to break the moment. She had to remember why she was trying to escape in the first place and not allow herself to get caught up in this dangerous territory. She forced herself to look anywhere else, and instead settled her attention on Berk. From up here she could see the watch fires burning, casting light on the colourful roofs of the training building and dragon-nesting area. All of the houses seemed small as she searched the ground for her small hut.

"Berk is beautiful Hiccup, I'm sorry that we've brought a risk of trouble. I am using my arranged marriage to help it stay free: that is what I want for it. You're the future chief here anyways, it'll be good to create this treaty for the future."

Hiccup reached down to the side of his saddle and pulled a lever. Merida heard a clicking sound before it stopped in place. She glanced back to see the tail attachment on Toothless was now locked in an open position. Hiccup shifted in the saddle so that he could face her better. There was a look of loss in his eyes that she wished she could erase it, but she kept her hands to herself and merely cocked her head to the side in question.

"I appreciate your help, I really do, but... But don't chain yourself to something that you don't want..." He sighed and looked down at Berk. "To be honest, I always knew that my father would want me to become the chief, but just dealing with this one issue... I don't know if it is the kind of responsibility that I want to have in the future. Up here, flying with Toothless, this is all I've could ever want. Well... almost." He finished.

Merida felt her heart clench in understanding. She thought of all the times she had tried to escape the future that had been written out for her. However, with age came the growing realization that there wasn't an escape, that she would have to follow the rules of her world. It was frustrating and crushing in the end.

Without thinking she took Hiccup's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. She couldn't find the words, but the way he looked at her, his expression mirroring her emotions, she knew he understood. After a moment he clutched her hand in return.

They stayed like that for a moment, until Toothless growled in panic, Hiccup snapped to attention and realized that they had been slowly sinking back down towards the water.

He turned himself back in place the quickly released the lever and guided Toothless back upwards. He patted the dragon's side.

"Sorry bud, looks like I still need to tweak that lock." Toothless grumbled in response causing Merida to laugh. She leaned around Hiccup and stroked Toothless in comfort.

"Thank you Toothless, you really are something special. It's unfortunate that you got stuck with this forgetful boyo" she ended, glancing up at Hiccup and sticking her tongue out. Toothless heaved a laugh in his dragon way while his rider scoffed, but simple smiled down at her after.

She adjusted herself back upright and placed a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, more for her own comfort than for security. "We should probably head back soon, the sun is coming up and Peadre will worry." She sighed.

Hiccup placed his hand over hers, he seemed like he wanted to say something more, but after a moment he turned and focused his attention back to flying them home.

Two hours later, and a little worse for wear due to the lack of sleep, Merida stood by the docks as Peadre prepped his small boat. They were waiting for Hiccup to come back from seeing off the others on their own trips, save for Astrid who was waiting another day before leaving herself.

She looked up at Berk and felt a stone settle in her gut, knowing it would probably be the last time she laid eyes on this collection of buildings, and the sight of dragons flying through the air. In her heart she didn't want to leave, but the thought of her mother, father and brothers created a conflict that didn't have a clean answer.

Peadre placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort and she turned to face him, offering a small smile to let him know that she was okay.

"Everything will sort its self out, ye'll see" he muttered quietly, keeping an eye on those around him.

There was a shout as Hiccup called down to them from the back of Toothless. The black dragon gave them a gummy grin which Merida couldn't help but return. The two of them landed cleanly on the dock near them and Hiccup dismounted before heading towards them. After a moment another shadow flew over them as Astrid and Stormfly landed nearby.

"Hiccup, wait!" Astrid called out as she quickly dismounted and ran over to them.

"Astrid, what's wrong?"

"I heard from Fishlegs that you were heading out with Peadre to investigate the mystery dragon... Wait, why does Merida look like she is going?"

Merida looked down, she had tossed on a short cloak and sturdier boots for the voyage, although she liked flying, it had been a bit cold last night. She smiled and nodded at Astrid in response to her question.

The Viking woman looked horrified and turned a glare at Hiccup. "That dragon is dangerous and nearly killed her once! What are you thinking Hiccup? It would be better to take another dragon rider with you, I could assign you one of my trainees easily."

Hiccup looked a bit lost for words, Merida realized that her cover was what was stopping her from going, but she didn't know how Astrid would react to the truth, especially out in the open as they were. Merida chewed her lip when Hiccup looked to her for direction: he wouldn't reveal the truth without her permission.

Merida gave up searching for a clean answer and instead bowed her head and walked slowly towards Astrid. The woman looked apologetic, "Merida... I'm sure you can take care of yourself, but..." she sighed and placed her hands on Merida's shoulders "I just don't think the risk is worth it, and I'm sure your brother would agree" she ended giving Peadre a sharp look.

Merida glanced at him and she grimaced: there wasn't a way to give Astrid a valid excuse.

"You're right Astrid, it was silly of me... I just thought that we might be able to head back home with Hiccup and Toothless guiding us."

Astrid offered a small smile. "I know you both want to get home, but I still think it would be better to try with larger numbers. Once the others return we could try taking you back a group if you want. With more dragon riders we'd at least have more protection if we were attacked. That is, if Hiccup doesn't figure out a solution today."

Hiccup ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, it looks like it is just the three of us for this journey then. Astrid, can you make sure Merida is safe?"

Astrid cocked her head to the side with a frown, "er, sure, but she should be safe and sound on Berk."

Hiccup grasped Astrid's shoulders "please, just, promise me."

Astrid stood straight then, still frowning as she nodded, "I promise Hiccup."

Merida walked over to Peadre and gave him a hug. "Tell my dad that I'm okay" she whispered in his ear.

"I will. I'm sorry lass. We'll get this sorted as soon as we can and be back for you" he muttered back. She let him go and watched as he boarded the ship.

Hiccup walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She met his eyes and read his apology and promise. She placed a hand over his and nodded.

He moved to head back to Toothless, but she stopped him and pulled out her wrapped bow from the bindings behind her back, thrusting it in his hands. She looked at him and urged him to understand. Her father would know that it was hers, and would trust Peadre. She needed to give Hiccup the best chance to make this treaty work, she needed to make her father understand that she supported this, even if she wasn't there.

Hiccup took the package and nodded once more, "thank you."

She stood by Astrid and watched the two of them leave: Peadre on his boat and Hiccup on Toothless. She stood there until she could no longer see them and Astrid finally urged her to come back into the village.

Merida glanced once more to the horizon feeling the loss of them keenly as she realized that she was truly alone on Berk now, no one here knew her secret. The two woman headed back with Stormfly walking alongside them.

"I'm sorry again Merida, but don't worry, I'll look out for you until your brother gets back." She grumbled as she glanced back towards the ocean in the direction Hiccup had left in. "Everyone here likes you so I don't know what Hiccup was so worried about."

Merida swallowed and nodded in response. Astrid peered her way and then sighed as her shoulders dropped "I feel like I've trapped you here against your will." She grew silent once more as though searching for something more to say. Then her eyes lit up as she smiled at Merida. "I know! Hiccup mentioned that you were quite good with a bow, do you mind showing me? It'll help pass the time and I've wanted to improve my abilities: the bow isn't a common weapon here."

She couldn't help but smile back. The woman's attempts to make her feel better were appreciated. She also wouldn't hold it against her for keeping her from the treaty talks: she had only been concerned for her safety. Merida nodded in response and gestured for Astrid to lead the way.

They made their way to the practice yard, once there Merida went into the weapon's shed and searched amongst the bows for two serviceable ones. She already missed her handmade one despite the knowledge that it was helping Hiccup.

Once they had the targets set up and their equipment ready, Merida gestured towards Astrid to shoot first. She watched the Vikings stance as she fired, she wasn't a terrible shot, but there were some improvements she could make to increase her accuracy. After Astrid was out of arrows she went to gather them and then returned. Merida gestured for her to take aim, but not shoot. She then used her hands and foot to adjust Astrid's arm position and stance. Then she motioned for Astrid to breathe in time with her shot, showing her as she drew an imaginary bow and fired: the breath was important.

Astrid nodded and then took stance, keeping in mind the adjustments that Merida had made to it. She then fired and continued to find the center of the target more often. She smiled at Merida once she had run out of arrows again "that was amazing! Can I see you do it?"

Merida nodded and then got herself into position in front of the second target. She calmed herself, breathing slowly as she lifted the bow up before drawing it back. She looked past the target, knowing that her arrow would find its mark and then released. Without pause she drew another, and another, letting the song of the arrows cut through the wind as they dashed towards home. Once she was done she let out another breath and then turned to Astrid who stared in surprise.

"When Hiccup said you were good he was lying! You're amazing!" She tapped her chin as she looked Merida over "now, how about other weapons? Do you know how to use a sword?" Merida nodded. Astrid smirked "perfect! How about I test your other skills and you can show me how much of a fool I was when I thought it wouldn't be safe for you to go with Hiccup." She said with an apologetic smile.

Merida shook silently with laughter, but then sighed and sent a thought to Hiccup and Peader, hoping that they were faring well in their quest.

They collected their arrows and were just returning the targets to the shed when the horn at the top of the main hill sounded, startled, both woman looked towards it. After the sound died Astrid moved towards the gate of the practice yard so that she could look out at the horizon.

"One call, it means that there are friendly ships approaching. Odd, I didn't think we had any guests coming in for a while... Oh no."

Merida turned to look in the other direction from where Hiccup and Peadre had left. Sailing in from the north were three Viking ships. The shields draped over the sides and banner colours she recognized straight away for they were a sight out of her nightmares: Yngivld had arrived early to Berk.

Happy New Year all!

This chapter gave me a lot of headaches. I had written it, but then was unsure about it, so I re-wrote it, but then hated that and went back. It was thanks to my beta that I finally found some peace with this.

The next chapter is just being edited, so you actually won't have to wait months for it I swear. You can feel free to pester me on my tumblr (or just say hi if you want) here: