Thanks to Lucky Ladybug for the plot bunny
and to she and Cal Gal for betaing!
Durand
I couldn't really say just when Professor Bolt's dream became mine. I was merely a guard at his museum at the first. But by the time the plan to replace the governor with a nearly perfect double was ready to be put into action, I had worked my way up to the chief of the museum guards and was the professor's second lieutenant, so to speak, right behind Miss Piecemeal.
Ah, and what a dream the professor had! To use the treasury of the entire state of California to acquire such a wealth of masterpieces of art as would make the Bolt Museum of Fine Arts the wonder of the entire world! And the greatest coup of all would be when Professor Bolt bought the smiling lady herself, the masterpiece of all masterpieces, the Mona Lisa! She would be the prize of the professor's own private collection, of course, but he promised me personally that, on account of my great loyalty to him, he would permit me a private viewing of that lovely lady once she was his.
It was just natural then, when the Secret Service agents showed up and started poking their noses into museum business, that I would join Miss Piecemeal in her attempts to rid the professor of these threats to his dream, especially after her first plan - sending the ruffians to ambush them in the alleyway - failed miserably. I was glad to man the ballista to fire it at West, certain I could not miss.
I was mistaken. The man had the reflexes of a cat. How displeased, how disappointed, the professor was at our joint failure! I was determined not to disappoint Professor Bolt again.
At length my men and I discovered West in our own museum basement in the very act of rescuing the captive governor. Professor Bolt was delighted when I brought him the news that both birds - West and the governor - were now caged. Miss Piecemeal as well, for her multiple failures, was caged along with West, awaiting their mutual punishment. We needed only to wait for the professor to conclude his negotiations with the representative of the French government who had arrived to discuss the terms of sale for the beautiful Mona Lisa.
Except… he wasn't. He wasn't the representative of the French government at all, but was instead Artemus Gordon, the other Secret Service agent, the man I myself had spoken with at length not a day before! How he had tricked me - not to mention, the professor - with a simple disguise and a fake accent, I'll never know!
He told us to conduct him to where we had caged his partner, and so I led him to the wine press where West and Miss Piecemeal were awaiting execution. And when Mr Gordon leaned over to take a good look at the pair of them down there in the wine press, it was the work of a moment for me to gesture at one of the guards, ordering my man to douse the light. One shove later and Gordon was in the wine press as well. Professor Bolt, I knew, was exceedingly pleased with me. He left me in charge as my men cranked down the heavy ceiling of the wine press to rid us once and for all of two pesky agents and one unreliable Miss Piecemeal.
So how then did the three of them escape? For suddenly here was Mr West up on the platform with us, fighting me and my men, knocking us all down from that height. And Miss Piecemeal, the traitor, was helping them!
Well, I never betrayed the professor. With my last strength I rang the alarm bell to warn Professor Bolt. To the end I was loyal. Even now I am his loyal man, here in this prison to which we've been sentenced. What became of Miss Piecemeal I neither know nor care.
I have only one regret and that is that, with the failure of our plan, the professor will never be able to acquire that most cherished of all art works. And so I'll never get to see her, never get to gaze upon the indescribable smile and serene beauty of the incomparable Mona Lisa.
FIN