Final Fantasy 8: Future Bound

by Darsar

The continuation of the events of Final Fantasy 8, shortly after the conclusion of the game.

13. Chapter 13: Perhaps They're Right

Chapter 13

Perhaps They're Right

(Quistis)

Quistis' body slammed hard into the passenger side door of the car as it swung a dangerous turn—narrowly dodging a crackling string of gunfire. The forces created by the turn pressed her hard against the door as Artois, her driver, sent the car hurtling between two rows of Galbadian artillery and soldiers. Galbadian bullets struck their target, ricocheting off the armored car with metallic shrieks and pops, but none of the bullets made it through the tough steel plating encasing the vehicle.

(We can't hold this much longer.)

Artois straightened out the wheel, then stood on the gas pedal, sending a spray of dirt from all four tires as the car sped towards the Eastern entrance to Timber. Gunfire from every direction followed in pursuit, sending up bursts of dust around the vehicle.

"COVER!" Quistis yelled to the two SeeD girls in the backseat, straining to be heard above the thunder of bullets and the roar of the engine. Both uniformed girls nodded, then turned in their seats and released the spells they'd prepared in their hands. They aimed at the pursuing Galbadian cars, sending waves of fire and lightning at the vehicles, tearing into them like tin cans.

Although the SeeDs in the Decoy Team were drastically outnumbered and outgunned by the Galbadians, their magic allowed them to remain encased in their vehicles and launch effective counterattacks without reaching outside and exposing themselves to the flurry of bullets that constantly whipped through the air. The magic had greater range and effectiveness as well, as G-Army equipment was built to protect against bullets and artillery—not magic.

(Without the armored cars and magic, this entire mission would have been suicide.)

(It may still prove to be suicide yet…)

The car barreled toward the city entrance, the vehicle's increasing speed pressing Quistis back into her chair, making it hard to move. Between her and the blue arch that welcomed visitors stood hundreds of Galbadian soldiers with rows of military vehicles behind them for support. Artois held down the accelerator, charging headlong towards the ranks. It was a futile attack. Even if the car somehow survived the barrage of gunfire that was sure to come, the sheer mass of soldiers and equipment standing in their way would have forced the car to a stop, leaving them trapped inside, immobile.

Futile or not, the charge was necessary. It was a feint, and an effective one as well. As more and more soldiers rushed to cut off the car's advance, they were forced to abandon other posts, leaving those areas vulnerable to attack. The constant readjustments caused by these feints exhausted the soldiers and confused their ranks, buying more time for the members of the Decoy Team and causing more damage overall to the G-Army.

Quistis knew the Galbadian troops would stand a better chance if they held their ground and didn't pursue the feints, but whoever was in charge of the G-Army's troops hadn't figured that out yet, instead wasting time, effort, and lives falling for the same trick again and again.

(Good for us that they have such poor leadership.)

Artois gripped the wheel in both white-knuckled hands, drawing in a deep breath once the car got into firing range of the entrance to Timber. The Galbadian soldiers let loose with their barrage. The car was well-protected against bullets and small arms, but even the best armor couldn't last forever. The narrow windshield formed an obvious weak spot as well. Although the glass had been reinforced, it could only withstand a few bullets before it too would fail them.

A lucky bullet caught the corner of the windshield, sending a circular web of cracks across the glass in front of Quistis. Another bullet found the glass. Then another, and another. More and more as the car grew closer. Artois had to lean forward in his chair, struggling to peer through the sections of the glass that weren't breaking. A few more hits and the windshield would shatter entirely, leaving them naked and exposed to gunfire.

(We can't get any closer!)

"TURN!" Quistis said. Artois cranked the wheel again, once more sending Quistis hard into the passenger side door. She gritted her teeth against the pain and the pressure of the turn as Artois spun a quick ninety-degree turn. The two girls in the back gripped to whatever was available, trying desperately not to fly into the walls of the car.

Artois straightened the wheel, baring the broad side of the vehicle to the soldiers. Now presented with a larger target, the Galbadians were able to land many more hits, the gunfire popping along the side of the car like hail. But the armored car had no windows on the sides, only a front windshield and a narrow slit in the back. Although the Galbadians were peppering the car, there weren't any weaknesses on the side, and the damage caused was trivial.

When the G-forces of the turn finally released her, Quistis turned in her seat and ordered the two girls behind her to begin laying waste to the Galbadian defensive line with all of their magic. Spell after spell hit the long Galbadian line, sending soldiers flying with wind spells or freezing them with ice. Quistis added some of her own magic as well, hurling out the powerful spells she'd accumulated in her travels, taking massive chunks out of the Galbadian line with fiery explosions and earthquakes.

Quistis spun in her chair to peer out the narrow slit of the back window. As planned, the feint had opened up a weak spot on the northernmost part of the Galbadian defenses. Two more SeeD armored cars saw this and rushed towards the opening, forcing the Galbadians to hurry and scramble to fend them off.

The plan was working to perfection, but it still wasn't enough. Every wave of Galbadians taken down by magic, or every platoon shuffled from one spot to another seemed to do nothing to diminish the strength of the Galbadians. More and more soldiers and vehicles flooded out of Timber, replacing every fallen Galbadian with two more, fresh and ready for combat.

(How can there be so many?)

Two Galbadian cars rushed out of Timber, through the G-Army line, and pursued Quistis' car. The armor on Quistis' car slowed it considerably, and the lightweight Galbadian cars were gaining fast.

"Two cars behind!" Quistis yelled. "Earth magic!"

The girls in back nodded and spun around. Working together, they opened a long, narrow crack in the ground, like a small canyon. They timed it perfectly, leaving no room for the pursuing cars to brake or dodge around. Both vehicles plunged nose-first into the crevasse and disappeared.

(Where is Garden?)

The attack wasn't meant to last this long. It was only a diversion, a ploy to get the Galbadians to commit to Timber's East Side and allow the real mission to take place on the West. Quistis, Xu, and the Headmaster had run through this scenario dozens of times, meticulously planning out how long the mission should last in any and all circumstances. Even in their worst-case-scenarios, the diversion only needed to last a few minutes. Quistis had lost track of time, but surely much more than the allotted time had elapsed.

(Did something happen to Garden?)

Quistis didn't want to think about that. If Garden had become disabled, then she and everyone else in the Decoy Team would either die or be captured. There was no possibility of escape, because there was nowhere to fall back to without Garden. To the south and east, the sea blocked all retreat, and the northern path led back into the heart of Galbadia. Without Garden to carry them all back into the ocean, there was nowhere to run.

Unless Garden was only moments away, there was no hope at all. Quistis clenched her jaw and kept fighting, betting everything on the hope that Garden was coming soon.

"Drive us to the flanks!" Quistis said to Artois. "Start preparing for the retreat!"

Artois nodded and angled the car to the left, heading to the outermost ring of the battle.

SeeD only had a handful of armored cars at their disposal: not nearly enough to mount an effective or a credible attack. So they commissioned almost all of their civilian models into the battle as well, but positioned them on the outskirts of the battle, always moving, always throwing spells to keep them as safe as possible. Galbadian bullets would cut through the civilian cars like paper, so their only protection was speed, magic, and fancy driving.

Far beyond the walls of Timber, in the Lanker Plains—between the city and the sea—numerous dogfights were taking place as Galbadian military vehicles chased down civilian cars loaded with SeeDs who were frantically hurling magic of every kind and color. For the first time since the beginning of the fight, Artois had to relax the accelerator, slowing down to weave between the corpses of ruined Galbadian cars as well as massive cracks in the earth formed by the SeeDs' magic.

Fires blazed unchecked in the fields, rushing across the dry grass, devouring it greedily. Patches of ice slowly melted in the hot summer afternoon and lightning crackled in the sky, despite the cloudless weather. The cacophony of magic and bullets formed a steady white noise in the background, like static.

"Look for any SeeDs," Quistis said. Artois and the other two girls nodded, and began looking front and back, searching for any wrecked SeeD vehicles or any uniformed SeeDs left stranded in the battlefield. So far, Quistis only saw Galbadian vehicles and soldiers.

(I hope that's all I see…)

As she scanned, she caught a glimpse of the ocean to the south. There, like a blue mountain, approached Garden, cutting through the waves. Quistis couldn't contain herself.

"YES!" she said. She clapped her hands once. "Artois! Prepare the retreat! Garden is here!"

"WOOOO!" Artois hooted. He was immediately joined by the two girls behind them. Quistis was excited too, though she knew that this part of the mission—the escape—could prove tricky. Since they were in one of the armored cars, it was their responsibility to form a defensive perimeter, allowing the civilian cars to make good their escape. As such, Quistis, Artois, and the two girls would be throwing themselves in the middle of the worst of the fighting.

(Still, the mission is going as planned. That's good.)

Quistis focused on her hands, drawing up a magic spell to signal the retreat. Amidst the chaos and gunfire and magic, it would be hard to discern any one solitary spell from all the myriad of others. So Quistis had to draw upon something unique, powerful, and rare. She gathered the glowing red energy of the flare spell into her hands, then looked up and hurled it into the sky.

Red light streaked from the car and burst in the air, forming something between a bomb explosion and a second sun. It erupted into a sphere of intense, screaming heat, igniting both the air around it and the grass below. For a few moments, the world went red as the spell consumed everything around it and eclipsed even the light of the sun. Quistis squinted against the terrible red light, hoping they didn't crash into anything in their moment of blindness. A second later, the sound wave hit the car, shaking the armored plating and rattling the cracked glass. Even above the din of gunfire and magic, that explosion would be heard and seen everywhere in the fields.

The spell faded away and Artois charged north, once more putting his full weight on the accelerator. A dozen cracks laced the windshield, but he raced bravely onward despite the limited visibility. Quistis could barely see from her side of the window, but Artois had enough vision left to dodge the obstacles in his path as he cut through the battlefield.

A SeeD car, a little blue sedan filled with students sped to the south, eager to retreat from the doomed battle. A red car, then another blue car followed after. A few seconds later, Quistis spied a Galbadian car in pursuit of the escaping vehicles.

(Oh, no you don't.)

Quistis, exhausted from the battle, summoned what little energy she had left to draw up an earth spell. She chucked it at the Galbadian car, opening up a nice, deep grave for the car to fall into and disappear. She heard the satisfying crunch as the G-Army car crashed into the earth.

As they continued north, they passed more escaping SeeDs and more pursuing Galbadians. Quistis and her two support girls in the back leveled all pursuit with earth and fire, ensuring that the other students would have a clear path to Garden. A few Galbadians tried to attack Quistis' armored car, but she and her fellow passengers were rejuvenated by the appearance of Garden and fought with renewed frenzy, tearing apart any and all G-Army attackers as soon as they made the error of coming in range.

Quistis was numb from exhaustion, pain, and battle lust. She felt dizzy and lightheaded and a little insane. Still, enough of her senses remained, urging her to remain cautious and keeping her from totally losing her mind in the fury of the moment.

(Pay attention. Focus. Don't make any dumb mistakes now.)

After a minute or two of rushing north, they finally reached the edge of the battlefield. Here, the ruts torn by dozens of tires thinned and disappeared, the fire and earth faded as well. The Galbadians—perhaps knowing that they had won the battle, or maybe not willing to tangle with the brute force of the whole Garden now that it had joined the fray—abandoned pursuit and spun around, fleeing back towards Timber. Quistis considered sending them some magic to hasten their departure, but let the G-Army go.

"Alright," Quistis said, scanning the horizon, looking for the G-Army and any straggling SeeDs. "We can go now."

"Yes, ma'am!" Artois said excitedly. He turned around, much more gently this time, and headed back south. In the distance, the blue mass of Garden drew ever closer.

(Getting closer to home.)

Weary beyond words, Quistis slumped back into the passenger seat. Everyone else in the car relaxed as well. Reality began to sink in, and all the aches and pains in her body suddenly demanded her attention. She winced, sore all over, but fought to maintain her stoic expression. She never knew it was possible to become so utterly exhausted without ever leaving the car.

(Show no weakness. You're the Lieutenant Commander.)

Quistis bit back her pain and turned around, peering out the back window. There was no pursuit. She glanced at the two girls. Both were recent SeeD graduates who'd earned their ranks only a couple months prior. She didn't remember their names and felt too embarrassed to ask. They looked as weary as Quistis felt.

"You two okay?" Quistis asked. She did her best to act soldierly, to project an aura of calm, confident strength. She couldn't tell how effective her efforts were.

They both nodded.

"Are all battles like that?" the girl on the left asked.

"Hmm… yes and no," Quistis said. Most of Quistis' heavy combat experience had come in the previous few weeks, hardly qualifying her as a seasoned veteran. Still, she did her best to act knowledgeable. "They're all exhausting, but in different ways. This battle was a bit unorthodox for SeeD, but it's always wise to be prepared for anything."

The girls seemed satisfied with her response. Quistis turned around and sunk into her chair. In front of them, Garden had touched down to earth, allowing the driveway leading to the parking lot to rest on the ground. A steady stream of cars headed up the ramp and filed into the parking lot. Quistis tried to count them, but there were too many. All the SeeD vehicles were riddled with bullet holes, their windows cracked or shattered. Many were running on one or more flat tires. One car had broken its rear axle and limped feebly up the ramp, spraying sparks in all directions.

Artois and the other armored cars were last up the ramp. He drove down the long road, entering into the dim glow of the parking lot. It was a relief, being out of the sunlight. Once all the cars were inside, the Garden lifted off and turned south towards the ocean.

(I could fall asleep in this chair right now.)

Artois found an open parking spot and pulled the vehicle into it. He engaged the parking brake, and, with an air of finality, turned off the engine. A moment of heavy silence passed. Quistis listened to the tinny ringing in her ears and rubbed at one of the many aches in her body.

"Well… we made it," Artois said.

"Let's see how well the others fared," Quistis said.

She opened the passenger side door and almost fell out of her chair. She had the will and the desire to walk, but her legs were beaten, limp noodles—simultaneously numb and pained. She braced herself against the car to support her weight. With the adrenaline from the battle draining out of her, she became more and more aware of her screaming muscles, and the bruises and scrapes along her body from all her crashing around inside the car. She felt two lines of pain searing across her torso from where the car's seatbelt had embraced her in a death grip during Artois' frantic turns.

(Come on, Q, toughen up. You're not even hurt.)

She drew in a deep breath and forced her feet to walk. They protested with every step, but she was deaf to their cries. She held her head up high, fighting fatigue as she stepped into the middle of the parking lot. She smelled the sharp odor of gasoline, more than was usual for the parking lot.

(A lot of the cars are probably leaking fluid.)

(We'll need a mechanic team in here ASAP.)

The other members of the Decoy Team began huddling around her, forming a large, disorganized circle.

Quistis took a deep breath, then addressed the crowd. "Form into squads, one through thirty, all along here." She gestured along the row of battered cars. As quickly as their tired bodies could, the SeeDs arranged in their groups, forming one long unbroken line of students. There were no gaps that she could see.

(We didn't lose any squads?)

Quistis was overjoyed when she saw the continuous line. Not only had they made it through the battle without losing a squad, they didn't seem to have lost a single student. If that was the case, then the battle had gone perfectly.

(It's too good to be true.)

With a sense of dread, she realized that she'd only ordered the students to arrange themselves in order, but had not told them to leave room for missing squads. Until she did a head count, she wouldn't know if any were lost.

She had to be sure.

"Squad leaders, count off!" she ordered.

The driver for the first squad yelled, "Squad One!" followed by the second squad leader yelling, "Squad Two!" and so on down the line.

It got to Squad Eleven before it got bad.

"Squad Eleven!" the leader yelled. And there was a pause. A deathly, sickening pause, before the next leader in line said weakly, "… Squad Thirteen."

(Damn it!)

"Where's Squad Twelve?" Quistis said. She looked up and down the row. "Squad Twelve, respond!"

There was no answer. The SeeDs looked up and down their ranks, hoping someone would either respond, or give news of Squad Twelve's whereabouts. No one said anything. Quistis sighed.

"Finish counting off," she said. The SeeDs resumed from Squad Thirteen, counting off all their members. Squad Twenty-Eight failed to report in as well, but they were the only other squad to do so. Quistis knew that for such a dangerous and difficult mission, losing only two squads was actually quite impressive.

(But that is still two squads more than I'm willing to lose.)

Quistis bit her lip. They had planned for this. Together in Cid's office, they had drawn up the battle plans and prepared for a situation in which Squads failed to return, with no one hearing any news from them. She knew what she had to do next, but it pained her to go through the steps.

"Dismissed," she said to the students. There was little the students could do to help at this point, and holding them in the parking lot served no purpose. They filed out, heading back into the school, while Quistis returned to the armored car. In all the excitement of battle, she'd forgotten that she had brought one of Garden's new radios.

Artois and the two support girls lingered, watching Quistis. She would have preferred if they left with the others, so that Quistis would be permitted to have a least a moment to herself, a moment to let her guard down, but they were as worried as she was, and she didn't have the heart to send them away.

She opened the passenger door and dug around beneath her seat, pulling out a satchel. Inside was a gray brick with an antenna. She had never officially been trained to use an old radio before, so it took her a few moments of fumbling around before she managed to dial in Nida's number.

"Come in," she said, being careful not to reveal any sensitive information, in case Galbadia was tapping into their frequency. She leaned against the side of the car, using her fingertips to idly trace the hundreds of bullet-dents left in its frame.

(There are so many…)

"Here," Nida responded. He, like Quistis, knew to keep the conversation as short and direct as possible. No wasted words, no unnecessary information.

"Do a sweep," Quistis said. "Two no-shows."

There was a pause, then Nida responded, sadly, "Aye aye."

Quistis set the radio down, feeling as Garden spun around, heading back north. The Galbadians had already retreated, so she doubted they'd run afoul of another attack. She knew she should probably go back up to the bridge to help oversee the rest of the mission, but her body cried out for a few moments of rest. She leaned her forehead against the warm metal of the armored car and shut her eyes. Artois and the other two were watching, but she didn't care.

She had her eyes closed for only a minute, it seemed, before the radio crackled to life.

"No sign," he said. "Repeat, no sign."

Incredulous, Quistis raised her head and brought the radio to her mouth. "Nothing?"

"Nothing," Nida said. "Another sweep?"

Quistis was about to say yes, do as many sweeps as necessary, before she remembered that the safety and security of Garden was paramount. Sooner or later, Galbadia would send out a team to attack Garden. If one of them scored a lucky hit and disabled the school, then SeeD was finished, and the entire operation would be a failure. Garden was large and intimidating, but not built for combat.

Still, Quistis found it hard to believe that there was no sign at all of the two missing squads. No abandoned vehicles, no bodies. Nothing. But she trusted Nida. If he said there was no sign, then she believed him.

(We just have to hope the two squads are in hiding somewhere.)

"No," Quistis said. "Continue as planned."

She let go of the radio, letting it drop on the roof of the armored car. Despite a nearly perfect mission, she felt like a failure and a coward.

The afternoon sun poured down through the skylight and splashed across the marble floor of Headmaster Cid's office. The cadets from the Support Team had been judged on their skills and merits in combat, and those who were deemed to have passed the Field Exam now stood in a neat row of seven before the Headmaster's desk. Quistis was glad to see Ami, Zell's girlfriend, standing among their ranks.

(Zell will be happy to see that when he gets back.)

Quistis stood behind the Headmaster's desk along with Nida, Edea, and Mireya. They were all, except for Edea, dressed in their SeeD uniforms and standing at attention. Quistis couldn't help but notice the fact that eight SeeDs had been lost—two squads of four each—while only seven were replacing them.

The Headmaster, in a somber tone of voice appropriate for the situation, addressed the newest SeeD graduates.

He cleared his throat. "To be a SeeD means to be a fighter. SeeDs fight… and sometimes they die. Today was no exception. We still carry the hope that our two missing squads will show up somewhere, but we must be prepared to accept reality if they do not. If you have any doubts about becoming a SeeD, this is your absolute last chance to back out. I would understand if you chose not to accept this duty… this burden."

His eyes scanned across the cadets. None of them moved, or even flinched. He nodded, a mixture of approval and seriousness in his face.

"Good," he said. He turned to his desk and grabbed a stack of seven envelopes, each with a cadet's name printed on the front. "I hereby welcome each of you to SeeD, and I look forward to working with you all."

He went down the line, handing each new SeeD an envelope containing his or her rank and duty file, shaking hands, and whispering individual advice to each student.

That was one of the many things Quistis truly admired about the Headmaster. He honestly cared about each and every student at Garden and got to know them on a deep, personal level. His advice on graduation day was often very wise and encouraging. Even then, Quistis still recalled what he had whispered to her the day she graduated.

("You're going to be one of the greatest SeeDs we've ever seen.")

At the time, she had believed him wholeheartedly. Back then, her future was bright, and everything was going her way. Now, years later, she questioned his initial judgment of her. Even though she had risen to the rank of Lieutenant Commander of SeeD, she still couldn't shake the feeling that she was failing SeeD, disappointing the Headmaster, and proving to be nothing more than a letdown.

But this moment wasn't about her and her doubts; it was about the recent SeeD graduates. Instead of rolling in self-pity, she needed to be congratulating the students. She pushed her feelings away, allowing herself to think only of them, not herself.

(I hope we have a chance to throw a nice Graduation Ball for them.)

Cid worked his way to the end of the line, handing out the last document, shaking the last hand, whispering the last advice. He returned to his desk, stood before the seven new additions to the fellowship of SeeD, and smiled.

"Welcome to SeeD," he said. Still smiling, he turned to Quistis. She nodded at him, then addressed the students.

"Welcome," she repeated. "Be on standby for your first official orders as SeeDs. Until then, you are dismissed."

In perfect unison, all seven snapped off flawless salutes. Quistis, Nida, and Mireya returned the salutes, then dropped them. The seven students, now beaming, excitedly headed back for the elevator, chatting amongst each other.

When the graduates were all out of the office, Cid allowed his smile to fade as he turned to Quistis.

"You mustn't blame yourself for the two lost squads," the Headmaster said. "In truth, I had… we all had braced ourselves for much greater losses. The fact that we only lost two squads in one of the riskiest and most dangerous maneuvers SeeD has ever undertaken is not a failure on your par. It is a testament of your strength, courage, leadership, and wisdom. I am saddened, yes, but more than that, I am proud to know that the three of you grace our halls. Quistis, Nida, Mireya… you all did fantastic work today. Never forget that. You're all dismissed."

The three saluted once more, then dispersed. Nida headed up the lift to the bridge to resume piloting the Garden. Mireya and Quistis silently walked to the elevator, Quistis' eyes focused on the floor.

(Nida didn't lose anyone. Neither did Mireya.)

The only casualties in the entire mission came from Quistis' Decoy Team. Granted, her mission was the most dangerous of them all, but that fact still weighed heavily on her. Nida and Mireya had brought all their students back safely to Garden. Some of Mireya's soldiers were wounded in the escape, but Dr. Kadowaki made assurances that everyone was expected to make full recoveries.

The Team Leaders got into the elevator. Of the three, Quistis was the only one with a tarnished record.

(I couldn't protect them.)

Quistis sat in the cafeteria, staring at the untouched hamburger and fries on her plate. She needed food. Her stomach rumbled, and she knew that starving herself would only weaken her. Yet every time she thought about reaching for the burger, she stopped herself. She couldn't eat.

(There's a difference between being willing to fight and die, and being willing to send others out to fight and die for you.)

They had planned the mission anticipating casualties and losses. Cid and Xu ran through various scenarios, planning out what would be an expected level of casualties for each situation. And, according to their predictions, the actual number of losses was still below all but the most optimistic forecasts. But expected losses were not the same as acceptable losses. Not to Quistis. To her, any loss was a failure.

(Maybe I'm not cut out to lead.)

She picked up a fry and used it to push around the other fries on the plate. Irvine and Selphie were gone. Squall and Rinoa were gone. And now Zell and Xu were gone. Everyone Quistis could have gone to, confided in, asked for help, were all beyond her reach. She was struggling with the most difficult questions of her life, and she didn't even have a friend to talk it over with. Her position as Commander alienated her from the rest of Garden, making her feel totally lost and alone in a room full of people.

There was still the Headmaster and Edea. But Quistis wondered if either of them could ever truly be honest with her. She'd grown up in their orphanage and later, in their school. Cid and Edea raised her and were the closest things to parents that Quistis had ever known. Could she really trust her adoptive family to be objective? She knew she could rely on them for support, guidance, and encouragement, but she didn't want those things.

(I want someone to tell me the truth.)

(What does everyone really think of me?)

She didn't want to step down as Commander. She knew that she couldn't. Not then. SeeD needed a Commander, and to shuffle leadership around in the middle of one of SeeD's biggest operations would be disastrous. But still, a part of her wished that the others would get together and force her out of office. That Cid and Matron would take a hard look at Quistis' record and decide maybe, just maybe, Quistis wasn't the right person to be SeeD Commander after all.

Then Quistis could step down—not gracefully, not honorably—but harmlessly at least. She could go back to being an instructor, teaching classes. She wouldn't have to worry about other people living or dying based on her decisions. She wouldn't have to calculate how many losses were acceptable or unacceptable. She could go back to following orders and only worrying about herself and her friends.

(Am I a coward for feeling this way?)

(Or am I a fool for not realizing this sooner?)

Maybe that was the additional factor that she lacked, the one that allowed Squall to achieve his great leadership ability. In addition to all his other qualities, there was a coldness, a distance in his thoughts and actions that separated him from others, even his closest friends. Because of this mental wall, he could make the hard decisions. And he could make them again and again without breaking down.

She wondered, did he ever doubt himself, the way Quistis doubted herself?

(I don't think so.)

Squall knew what had to be done. And he knew the dangers and the consequences, yet he accepted them. Quistis had always thought of herself as a calm, calculating person. But when the numbers on paper became lives in the field, she lost that element. She wanted—she needed—someone else there to make the decisions for her and to take the blame in her place. To shoulder the weight of an "acceptable loss" and consider it a victory.

(Now I know the truth…)

(… I'm both a coward and a fool.)

Disgusted with herself, Quistis grabbed her tray, the food still uneaten, and marched over to the garbage. As she angled the tray to dump her meal in the trash, she grimaced. No sense wasting food because of a silly emotional breakdown. That would be childish. She scanned the nearest tables, seeing if anyone looked hungry. The meals were free to students, but Xu had put in a strict food-rationing plan once Garden became mobile, limiting everyone to three meals a day. They didn't want to run out of supplies while adrift at sea.

She found a table next to the garbage filled with young, muscular cadets. She approached the table and set her tray down. They looked at her questioningly.

"Anyone want my food?" she asked. "I didn't touch it."

The boys' eyes lit up. "Sure!" the nearest one said, grabbing the hamburger and immediately tearing off a mouthful. The other two boys yanked the tray over to their side of the table and began scrambling for the fries.

"Thanks, Commander," one of the boys said as he grabbed a handful of fries.

"Don't mention it," Quistis said, before turning and leaving the cafeteria.

She walked around the central ring of Garden, passing several students. Classes were temporarily suspended while the operation was in progress, but there was still much to be done to ensure that Garden was ready for the next phase. This battle had only been the first move in what would likely be a long and costly war. Things had gone their way so far, but would they always be so fortunate?

In the dormitories, two separate visitor's rooms had been cleared out and repurposed as the new offices for the Commander and the Lieutenant Commander. Quistis looked at the two plain wooden doors and read the bronzed plaques that had been placed on each.

"Squall Leonhart: SeeD Commander."

And on the door to the right, "Quistis Trepe: Lieutenant Commander."

She stared at the plaque that bore her name, sighed, and opened the door to her office. Inside, the bed and nightstand that came standard with every dorm had been taken out and put into storage. The main living area was now dominated by a wooden desk. It wasn't nearly as large and elaborate as the Headmaster's desk upstairs, but it carried an air of authority and simplicity that Quistis appreciated. A number of documents were spread across her desk: memos and charts that required her attention.

Although Quistis had serious doubts about her leadership abilities, she knew that she could handle paperwork easily enough. She closed the door behind her and went around her desk, sitting in her wheeled office chair. If she couldn't solve her emotional problems, she would bury them in work until she forgot about them.

(Not an ideal solution, but an effective one nonetheless.)

She grabbed a pen and pulled a sheet of paper off the stack in the corner. It was a document detailing the specifics about the seven new SeeD graduates, their incoming ranks, their weapon specialties, and any other relevant details. Quistis was surprised that the Headmaster had written it up so quickly, but then, he always did have a knack for filing paperwork.

She pulled her glasses out of her desk drawer, placed them on her face, leaned forward in her chair, and began to read.

The sun was nearing the horizon, and almost all the documents that required her signature had been signed. Forms that needed filling out had been carefully finished. Supply requests had been answered. Grievances had been heard. Requests for changing positions, notices of raising or lowering certain SeeD's ranks, and the plans for the upcoming SeeD Graduation Ball all crossed Quistis' desk and were completed.

She just finished reading a document about the new and improved SeeD administration. They were very close to filling all the gaps in the leadership left behind after the departure of the Garden Faculty, and the most crucial roles were now occupied, leaving only a few positions left vacant. One spot that still needed to be filled was "Official Test Grader," a person who would check over the SeeD written rank exams and pass or fail them. It had never occurred to Quistis that such a job even existed.

(I guess someone has to do it.)

She wrote down the names of students she recommended for the job, and placed the file in a stack to be returned to the Headmaster. The next document on her to-do list was larger than the others, and more worrisome. It was a letter from the Headmaster, detailing the current state of the informants in Timber. Quistis read the paper, her eyes narrowing in thought as she went along.

Years ago, when Garden was first getting on its feet, Headmaster Cid had accepted a routine mission from the Galbadian government. The exact details of the mission were long forgotten, but Quistis knew from her study of SeeD history that it had to do with clearing monsters from a village on the fringe of the country.

The contract between SeeD and Galbadia had been signed, and SeeDs were dispatched to the location. However, when SeeD arrived, they found that, instead of being up against monsters, they were instead being ordered to wipe out a Timber rebellion cell that had taken shelter in the village. An argument had broken out about whether this deception violated the terms of the contract, or if SeeD was still obligated to follow orders, since Galbadia had paid for their services in advance. In the confusion, a battle broke out between the rebels, the Galbadians, and the SeeDs, resulting in numerous casualties on all sides.

From that day on, Cid knew that he couldn't rely entirely on intelligence provided by clients, since clients were often biased against SeeD. By lying about the details of missions, clients could negotiate cheaper prices from the mercenaries, and SeeD wouldn't know about the trickery until the mission was already underway.

To balance the scales, NORG suggested that they set aside a certain amount of SeeD's income to paying off civilian informants around the world. Soon, SeeD had a network of several hundred clandestine informants, providing intelligence for Garden in exchange for money and ensuring that SeeD never had to accept a mission purely on faith.

But now, as Quistis read in Cid's report, there was a problem. Because communications had been cut off with Timber, SeeD could no longer pay their informants in the area. Consequently, their sources were drying up, as the citizens of Timber went underground, no longer taking the risk of communicating with SeeD. It was resulting in a large information blind spot in the region, in the midst of an important battle.

(This is a problem…)

Her reading was interrupted by the chiming of the intercom. Nida's voice came over the speakers in her office.

"Will Lieutenant Commander Quistis please report to the second floor balcony immediately. Thank you," he said before shutting off that intercom.

Quistis frowned in thought. The balcony was a very unusual place for her to be summoned. Nevertheless, an order was an order, and Quistis obeyed. She set aside her reading, took off her glasses, and pushed away from her desk. She gave a quick check of herself to make sure her uniform was up to standard, then left her office and headed for the elevator.

She got off at the second floor and walked down the long, curving hallway. The classrooms she passed were empty and dark. She arrived at the end of the hall and pushed open the heavy metal door. The sounds of the sea and the warm salt air pushed through the threshold, greeting her. She took a moment to appreciate the fresh air as she climbed the steps to find out why she was being called to the balcony, of all places.

There, near the edge of the balcony, stood Headmaster Cid, Mireya, and a Galbadian officer, accompanied by two G-Soldiers.

(They've found us!)

"Headmaster!" Quistis said. Reflexively, she grabbed for her whip, but found the clip at her waist to be empty. Her weapon was in her office, coiled on a hook on the wall. Immediately she transitioned to magic, calling up a spell in her fist.

"No, Quistis," the Headmaster said. He took a step towards her and held up his hands. "Stand down. They mean no harm."

(What?)

Galbadians meaning no harm to SeeD was a contradiction in terms, as far as Quistis was concerned. Even if they were offering peace now, she knew they would only do so in order to cause greater damage in the future. While she did blame herself for the loss of the SeeDs in the mission, she had no illusions about who the actual villains were. The G-Army had been the ones in the military vehicles, they had fired the bullets at the students. Whatever blame could be placed on her, ten times more could be laid on the Galbadians.

Seething inside, Quistis relaxed her hand and let the spell dissipate. Unless they were proposing the end of hostilities in Timber with no conditions, Quistis wasn't particularly interested in anything they had to say.

(Still, it's my duty to hear them out.)

She looked at the officer and the two soldiers. They were all unarmed. The officer held a small gray box in his hand, which Quistis recognized as an old military radio, the same make and model that SeeD was now using to stay in touch with the Contact Team in Timber.

Cautiously, she approached the group, still tense and ready for battle. She noticed that Mireya stood nearby, with her saber strapped to her waist. If the Galbadians tried anything, Quistis was confident that she and Mireya could take them down.

"They came up on us from behind," Cid said, shrugging. "By the time we saw them, they were on top of us. Luckily, Nida saw that they were flying a truce banner, otherwise we would have started another fight."

(We'll need to keep a better watch. Next time we might not be so lucky.)

"You are the SeeD Commander?" the officer said stiffly.

"Yes," Quistis said. Technically, she was only the Lieutenant Commander, but she did not want to offer the Galbadians any information they didn't need to know, even something as minor as her exact rank.

"General Caraway wishes to offer a final peace agreement between SeeD and Galbadia," the officer continued. He reached forward, offering the radio to Quistis. "He's on the other end of the frequency. Push the button to talk."

(Why another peace agreement? He's being awfully lenient.)

Still doubtful, Quistis took the radio. She pointed the speaker at herself and found the "TALK" button. She pressed it and brought the radio to her mouth.

"This is Commander Quistis," she said. "I understand you're offering a peace agreement?"

She released the button and waited for his reply. It came a moment later.

"Yes," his deep voice said. She recognized it immediately. "With conditions."

Quistis closed her eyes and smiled humorlessly.

(Of course. Conditions.)

She had no intention of honoring any deals with Galbadia, but it would be madness to spit in the face of a possible peace agreement without at least hearing the terms. Though it pained her—almost physically—to do it, she responded to the General.

"Name them," she said. She already suspected what the General would propose.

"SeeD is to withdraw all troops from the Galbadian continent, including Timber and the surrounding areas," he said. "You are to cease aiding and abetting the Timber sorceress and maintain no lines of contact with her, her organization, or any of the Timber resistance members until the conclusion of this matter."

Quistis wondered when exactly "the conclusion of this matter" would be, but she decided not to ask.

"And what are you offering in return?" Quistis asked.

"We will forgive you for this momentary indiscretion," he said. "We will not seek retaliation against SeeD for the loss of Galbadian lives, nor will we ask for any kind of monetary recompense. SeeD will be allowed to continue existing and operating as it always has, without any form of Galbadian interference. In addition, we will remove our occupying force from the city of Balamb and extend to you a counter offer. Whatever Timber is paying you for your services, we will offer five times the amount for you to come to our side instead. That is my offer."

(The arrogance!)

The General's worldview was truly warped if he thought those were acceptable terms. The things he said, and the way he phrased them made a flush of hot anger spread through Quistis' body. She had to fight to keep it from showing in her body language or her face.

Galbadia was the one that was wrong. It was not SeeD who needed to seek forgiveness for their "momentary indiscretion." And the city of Balamb was not a bargaining chip to be liberated as a reward for SeeD's cooperation. Anyone with any morals would realize that Galbadia was the one who needed to withdraw and seek forgiveness. SeeD's only crime was coming to the aid of the underdog in a one-sided war.

Quistis smashed down the "TALK" button as hard as she could and brought the radio back to her mouth, keeping her voice even. "I am sorry, those conditions are unacceptable."

From the corner of her eye, she saw the Headmaster smile and nod, approvingly. Next to him stood Mireya, shock and outrage spreading across her face. Mireya soon realized her mouth was gaping, and she regained her composure, snapping her jaw shut. But still, Quistis could see the anger in her eyes. Quistis stared back at her, unmoving.

(You cannot possibly think that I'd accept those terms, can you?)

(After all that's happened?)

"Then the war will continue," General Caraway said, his voice crackling over the speaker for all to hear. "And when we crush Timber, we will come for SeeD next. There will be no further peace offerings between us. Do you understand?"

Quistis pushed the button again. Coldly, she said, "I understand those conditions, and I accept."

"Very well," General Caraway said. Before Quistis could hand the radio back to the officer, the General's voice hissed over the speaker one more time. "I apologize, I almost forgot. I do have one more thing to offer, to hopefully change your mind and spare further bloodshed between us."

Reluctantly, Quistis brought the radio back to her mouth.

"What are you offering?" she asked.

(Whatever it is, I don't want it.)

"We have come into the possession of eight SeeDs," Caraway said. Quistis' heart stopped. "Prisoners of war, captured from the field east of Timber. They are unharmed and will be returned to you in the same condition we found them, should you choose to accept my offer."

(They're not dead!)

A momentary thrill of elation passed through Quistis. The blood on her hands was washed away, knowing the SeeDs still lived. But the guilt of losing them in the first place was not assuaged. Those SeeDs were not dead, true, but they were far from being safe. Quistis had spent some time in the D-District prison herself, and knew personally Galbadia's harsh treatment of its prisoners.

(They're not dead, but they may as well be, until we can get them out.)

What had seemed so clear a moment before now became obscured again. The brash arrogance of the Galbadian General had made it easy for Quistis to refuse his peace offer and prolong the conflict. But now, his newest offer changed everything. By accepting it, Quistis could walk away from the battle with no faults on her record. The SeeDs she thought had been led to their deaths would return safely to Garden, ready to fight in some other conflict. It could be as if the battle had never taken place.

If she refused, she would leave those imprisoned SeeDs to the mercy—what little mercy there was—of the Galbadian military. It would be like sacrificing them a second time.

But to accept his offer would mean abandoning the lofty ideals that had brought them into the conflict in the first place. Quistis, Xu, and the others had agreed to this battle because they believed it was morally right. It didn't make financial sense, and it was by far the riskier path, but they believed that SeeD stood for something higher than money and personal safety. To turn away now would be to dash apart SeeD's dreams.

(Either way, I'm abandoning something. SeeD's ideals, or SeeD's students. Something must be sacrificed.)

(… I hate this.)

General Caraway pushed further. "I have their names, ranks, and student ID numbers, if you think I'm bluffing."

Quistis spoke softly into the radio. "I believe you."

Just knowing that there were exactly eight SeeDs in captivity, the number of the two missing squads, was enough to convince Quistis that he was telling the truth. General Caraway was capable of many things, but her experiences with him did not lead her to believe that he would lie about this.

Desperately, Quistis looked to the Headmaster for assistance. She released the "TALK" button so that the General could not listen in to anything that was said on the balcony. Cid met Quistis' gaze and shook his head, sensing her question before she asked it.

"This is your decision," the Headmaster said. "All matters concerning SeeD's battles—whether to fight, or not to fight—fall to the SeeD Commander, not the Headmaster."

"But you could at least offer some advice!" Quistis said. She heard a desperate whine creep into her voice, but couldn't control it. "You don't have to make the final decision, but you can't just stand there silently either!"

The General, unaware of the debate currently raging on Garden's balcony, continued to press his advantage, his voice coming from the radio in Quistis' hand. "I must admit, SeeD trains its students well. The prisoners have offered nothing aside from the essential details. They have not spoken a word about your mission, or any other sensitive data. I respect that. Commander Quistis, I implore you… don't waste good soldiers."

Unable to contain herself any longer, Mireya stepped forward. "You have to accept, Commander. They're SeeDs. They're our friends and allies. We can't leave them to the Galbadians! Caraway might choose to execute them as soon as you disconnect. This might be their only chance!"

("SeeDs fight… and sometimes they die.")

(They knew what the consequences were…)

(Come on… I need more time to think!)

Stalling, Quistis pushed the "TALK" button and spoke. "What are you planning to do with the prisoners?"

Caraway was quick to respond. "If you refuse? Well, I'm not going to kill them, if that's what you're worried about. I don't believe it's my job to execute Galbadia's POWs. No, that responsibility should be given only to the President. The prisoners will be held until Galbadia finishes its election. Then the new president will be the one who decides what to do with them. It's out of my hands."

Quistis knew that there was no way that any president would ever pardon Galbadia's prisoners, especially if they were at war with SeeD at the time. If the captive SeeDs weren't immediately executed once the new president took office, they would be held in prison indefinitely, possibly to be used as bargaining chips at a later date. In any case, their fates were grim. Furthermore, Quistis had no idea how to begin mounting a rescue operation either, not without taking forces away from the operation in Timber.

(I don't think they'd be executed…)

(… But I don't know that for sure.)

"Commander Quistis?" Caraway said. "I need an answer."

"One moment," she growled into the radio.

Desperately, Quistis looked at the Headmaster. Her eyes bored into his, as if she could compel him to help her by sheer force of will. He sighed. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, then spoke.

"I believe that SeeD stands for something greater," he said. "And I believe… no, I know, that standing for great things requires sacrifice. I despise it, but it is unavoidable. I would like for you to refuse his offer, but not because I told you to do so. I want you to refuse because you believe in the same things I believe in. That's why I'm reluctant to offer advice. I want you to reach these decisions on your own. You could say I'm here to grade your performance, and see how well you do without my help. Remember, you're the future of SeeD, not me."

(That makes me feel even worse.)

(If I'm the future of SeeD, then SeeD's future is bleak.)

Mireya looked at the Headmaster, shock registering clearly on her face. Though Cid had spoken honestly and plainly, she was not moved by his speech. She stepped forward, between the Headmaster and Quistis.

"I believe in SeeD's greatness too," Mireya said, holding a hand to her chest. "But there is a difference between sacrifice and waste. Those eight SeeDs rotting in a Galbadian prison? They aren't martyrs. They aren't noble sacrifices. They're SeeDs. Our duty should be to Garden first, and to all our students. We should be doing everything we can to bring them home safely. And here the General is offering the most reasonable argument I've heard in weeks, and you can't decide what to do?"

Mireya threw up her hands and turned away from Quistis. "I don't know what to tell you. It all seems so clear to me."

(Then why don't you try being Commander for a day, if it's so damned easy!)

Quistis wanted to scream. She wasn't angry at Mireya, or angry at the Headmaster. Even her anger towards Caraway and the Galbadians had faded. She wanted to scream because everyone was saying something different to her, yet somehow they were all making sense. Just when Quistis thought that the Headmaster's speech was unbeatable, Mireya countered with another strong argument.

Mireya's words cut to the very core of Quistis' inner conflict.

(Is it enough to stand for noble ideas? Or do we need to show caution and humility?)

(Should we fight a battle we are unlikely to win, or is that only noble stupidity?)

With Mireya, the Headmaster, the three Galbadians, General Caraway, Timber, and possibly the whole world all awaiting her response, Quistis had a revelation.

What battle had ever been more hopeless than the one she, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Irvine and Selphie had fought against Ultimecia? Xu's words from a few days ago returned to her. Xu had called her "the girl who traveled across time and saved the world." The odds were slim back then, and the danger even greater.

Yet they fought anyway because, if they succeeded, they would find a better future waiting for them than if they retreated. Was the battle in Timber hopeless? Maybe. But if SeeD was victorious, the future that waited on the other side of the battle would be far superior than the one in store if they didn't. A free, independent Timber, and a weakened Galbadia, versus a cowed, shamed SeeD and a devastated Timber. If SeeD did not sacrifice its students, then Timber would be forced to sacrifice its citizens. Galbadia was a machine that was going to kill all who stood in its way, unless someone stopped it.

(And SeeD is going to stop them.)

"General Caraway," Quistis said into the radio.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Your conditions are unacceptable, and have been refused," she said. She felt powerful in that moment, as if she had dragged down a giant with her bare hands. The Headmaster beamed. Mireya looked away in disgust.

"Very well," General Caraway said. "We have nothing further to discuss. Hand me back to the officer in charge."

Quistis handed the radio back to the Galbadian officer. The officer spoke quickly into the radio. "Heading back to the rendezvous point."

"Understood," Caraway said. "Over and out."

The officer nodded to the Headmaster, then to Quistis. He commanded his two soldiers to follow him, as the three headed down a ladder back into the Galbadian ship that had brought them to Garden. A few moments later, the ship pulled away, carving a thin wake behind it as it headed towards the setting sun.

(Maybe we shouldn't let them leave so easily. Next time we see them, they'll be trying to kill us.)

But no. Quistis had just made a major decision because she believed in SeeD's integrity. To launch a surprise attack upon peaceful ambassadors would trample that integrity. Though she disliked it, she would allow the Galbadian soldiers to depart freely.

(We'll have to move to a new location, to keep them from reporting where we are.)

"This is unbelievable," Mireya said to no one in particular. "Commander Squall would have never made that decision. He would put his students first."

The anger that had come and gone returned once more within Quistis. This time, without the Galbadians keeping her emotions contained, she saw no reason to hold it down.

"And who are you, thinking you know Squall?" she said, stepping forward towards the shorter, black-haired woman. "You know nothing of him, if you think he would have caved to the Galbadians. If Squall were here, he would have laughed at Caraway's offer and thrown the radio into the ocean. We're SeeDs, Mireya. The mission comes first. Or have you forgotten?"

(Well, maybe he wouldn't laugh per se, but he wouldn't give in to Caraway either.)

Mireya scowled. "Maybe the mission's wrong. You're the one who accepted it. Everything that happens from here on is your fault."

Quistis took a step back. There was truth, a painful truth, in her words. She had nothing to say in response.

"Please, both of you," Headmaster Cid said, stepping between the two. "The decision is made. Now we must work to plan the next step."

Slowly, both Mireya and Quistis relaxed. Quistis had only seen Mireya a few times before, but already she strongly disliked her. She tried to recall if she had seen Mireya fighting alongside NORG's people during the internal Garden conflict. She couldn't know for sure, but she had a feeling that Mireya would have stood along with NORG, rather than the Headmaster. Something about her mannerisms gave Quistis that impression.

(I'll have to keep an eye on her.)

Mireya turned to the Headmaster, once again burying her feelings in an expressionless mask. "I apologize, Headmaster. Am I dismissed?"

"You are," he said. "Both of you are dismissed."

Mireya nodded, then turned on her heel and headed for the door. Quistis waited a few moments before following. She didn't want to walk side-by-side with her.

("Everything that happens from here on is your fault.")

(She's certainly right about that.)