Pettifog: to bicker or quibble over trifles or unimportant matters
February 28, 1996
Crunch… crunch… crunch
Hermione let her breath out in an irritated gust and looked up over her Ancient Ruins homework. Across the table they were sharing in a corner of the common room, Ron was sprawled in his chair, one foot up on the back of a nearby sofa, chewing loudly on a peppermint toad. Sweet wrappers littered the table, sticky crumbs of peppermint scattered over his own homework. And to her further irritation, Hermione saw that his eyes were fixed dazedly on a group near the fire, watching Lavender and Parvati making paper cranes out of their old transfiguration quizzes with a stupid little half-smile.
"Must you?" she demanded in a voice slick with disgust – for his eating habits or the smile she couldn't say. Probably both.
"Wha'?" he muttered, looking around at her.
She sighed again.
"You are such a pig, Ron! For heaven's sake, I'm surprised the windows haven't cracked form how loudly you've been gnawing at that thing."
He looked down at the half-eaten toad in his hand with vague surprise, swallowed the pieces in his mouth with a loud gulp that was worse than the chewing, and looked at her for approval, rolling his eyes.
"Is that better, your highness?"
"Well, it doesn't kill you to have some common manners!" Hermione snapped.
"I'm so sorry," Ron drawled. "I won't eat again until I've found a spell that lets me bypass chewing for your comfort."
"First you'd have to learn what chewing is! There's no need to drool over everything edible like a wild animal. And some things not edible," she added, casting a sharp glance towards the fire.
Ron flushed. "What d'you mean by that?"
"Just that maybe you could remember from time to time that you're friends with a girl, as you so brilliantly noticed last year before the Yule ball, and act civilized once in a while."
She delicately shook a few wayward peppermint crumbs off her book.
"I'm civilized," Ron said indignantly.
"Really? Could have fooled me."
"Just 'cause you're so uptight you can't have your textbooks out of alphabetical order doesn't mean we're all crazy."
"You're insufferable."
"Ditto."
"Do you even know what insufferable means?"
"It's got 'suffer' in it, so it must have something to do with listening to you."
"Why do I even hang around you?"
"Ditto."
"Shut up."
"Di –"
"So help me, Ron –"
At that moment, the portrait hole swung open and Harry appeared. He trudged toward them looking pale and sweaty, and dropped into the seat beside Ron, rubbing his temples.
"Don't ever let Snape play suppressed-memory-recovery inside your head," he mumbled.
He slumped forward, burying his face in his arms. Ron and Hermione looked at each other anxiously, their trivial squabble already faded.
A/N: I'm sorry, but this word SCREAMED Ron and Hermione :) Hope I did it okay. I've missed writing them. Thanks a MILLION for all your feedback! Tomorrow should be interesting. I'll have to check leap years before I pick a date! :D