SOOOO sorry for not updating any of my fanfictions, but my mom made me catch up on all my darn schoolwork before I could TOUCH fanfiction. GRRR... SO HAPPY to be back on though! Thanks for following thethreebirds! 1261 views! YAHOOOOOOOO!

PS: 'This is sign language'

"This is common tongue/ English" Duh...

"This is elvish"

ENJOY AND EAT POPCORN!

Torzhug:

Apparently my sister Lauren hadn't been camping with mom at all. She had been in middle earth for three days now, and was quickly running out of water and rations. She had been trapped by the Balrog, and had abandoned all hope of getting free.

'I'm just so relieved that you found me! I would have been stuck down there forever!' Lauren signed rapidly to him, grinning immensely as they followed far behind the Balrog. The lantern wobbled and swung to Peet's loping stride and cast eerie shadows on the wide tunnel walls.

They heard Gandalf shouting "You shall not pass!" up ahead and the Balrog roaring. Torzhug motioned for them to wait where they were. When all was silent they continued; Peet easily jumping over the large gap. They peeked out of the opened exit, relieved to see sunlight once more, and Lauren grinned.

'I am so glad to see the sun!' she signed, and Torzhug grinned 'And I am glad that you are here.'

They continued on their merry way, even stopping once to share some chocolate bars in Lauren's camping pack.

'Yum! Thank you Lauren!' Jewel signed to his sister, and Peet just grinned with chocolate staining his maw. Lauren had been surprised at first when she learned that the orc she had seen was indeed Tyler, and her friend's little brother was a massive warg, but she had quickly adjusted. Hence why she was not chucking chocolate bars into Peet's mouth. He had already eaten ten, and at this rate there would be none left in less than five minutes.

'Alright, that's enough chocolate for one day...' Jewel scolded Lauren and the partially deaf girl zipped up her heavy camping bag. They set up the tiny two person tent with ease at what they hoped was a place hidden well from Lothlorien patrols. Peet curled up into a ball and almost seemed to vanish from sight, becoming a giant gray boulder. It was as if his fur was a different color on the inside so when he curled up the grayish undercoat was revealed. They turned in for the night, yawning immensely, and Torzhug wondered out loud, "What are we going to do all day tomorrow while the Fellowship is in Lothlorien?"

'Why are you following the Fellowship?' Lauren signed, and Torzhug grinned at his sister's uncanny ability to read lips.

'Sapphire is with them.' Jewel signed.

'Sapphire is here too?!' Laura signed excitedly, and then blazed through more questions, 'Is she a human still? Has she changed the plot at all? Is she planning on saving Boromir?'

'Whoa, slow down there sis, you're confusing Jewel,'

'You mean Julia?' Laura signed, and Torzhug grinned.

'Nope, we changed our names to be more Middle-Earthy! Call me Torzhug!'

'Cool! What's Peter's Middle-Earth name?' Lauren asked.

'Just Pete, but spelled P-E-E-T instead of P-E-T-E,' Jewel explained.

'Cool. Well... I'm pretty tired so I'm going to turn in for the night,' Laura signed with an exaggerated yawn.

'You want a M-E name?' Torzhug asked his sister.

'No, but thanks anyways.' Lauren signed and popped into the tent with Julia who had just turned on the kerosene lamp.

"Hey, Torzhug," Peet said as Torzhug leaned against him and gazed at the stars.

"Yeah?"

"I just thought of something...Both your sister and your girlfriend got turned into elves. Both Jewel's brother and her boyfriend got turned into monsters. Kind of weird right?"

Torzhug laughed, "Whatever you say Peet, whatever you say..."

He put his weird meaty hands behind his weird misshapen head and tried to get some sleep, but it just wouldn't come. Soon Peet's snores filled the night, and Torzhug still couldn't get what Peet had said out of his head. Jewel's little brother was right...There was something strange about that...strange and even slightly ironic.

Sapphire:

"The Dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark." said Haldir with a smirk, his arrow tip a mere inch from Gimli's nose. I tried not to go cross eyed at the arrow pointed in my own face. I also tried not to laugh at Gimli's startled reaction to Haldir. Unfortunately I let out a snort, and half of the elves turned their arrows toward me.

"Whoa, geezum!" I cried, feeling all their eyes inspecting me, some with more than evident disgust. I held up my hands in surrender, "Can you PLEASE point your arrows some other direction. PLEASE?"

Haldir nodded to the other elves and they lowered their bows.

"What bring you here?" he asked Aragorn severely.

"We only wish to pass through. We will leave and go by another route if you wish." Aragorn said, refusing to give any more information.

"You will not leave. You will be taken to the lady of the golden wood. She will decide your fate."

He turned to the other elves, "Blindfold the dwarf."

Oh great... I had hoped they would do the movie version of this and leave out the whole blindfolding thing. Just my luck...

"What?!" Gimli cried, "This is nonsense! I will not subject to this!" An elf reached for him with the blindfold. Gimli growled and drew his axe, and in an instant all the elvish bows were trained on him. He glared at them and there was a moment of tense silence before Aragorn stepped forward, "If it makes you feel any better, we shall all be blindfolded with you."

Gimli grunted irritably, but put his axe back at his waist, "Even the elf?"

Legolas laughed, "Yes, Gimli."

I groaned and snatched a blindfold from a startled elf who was about to fasten it over my eyes. Tying it snugly around my head we started off, the elf checking to make sure I had tied it tightly. After a minute or two, I heard Frodo yelp and a muffled thump, and headed for the sound of his cry. I bumped into the little halfling getting back to his feet and scooped him up easily so he could sit on my shoulders.

"Thanks Sapphire!" he whispered, probably grinning largely.

"Don't tell Merry and Pippin," I warned him and he shook with quiet laughter.

I figured it was probably better for me to stub my toes which were protected in my tennis shoes than for the hobbits to stub their poor little hairy toes on any and every root in the whole gosh darn forest. Unfortunately I could only carry one midget at a time.

Jewel:

'Blank to blank game,' Lauren signed because her raspy voice hurt her throat.

"Apples," I called out, and Lauren flipped up the next Taboo card. She had brought the Taboo game in her camping pack along with some cards and other party games.

Lauren screwed up her face in thought and before she could give her clue, Tyler called, "Times out!"

The partially deaf girl turned up her hearing aid. She was using her precious spare batteries to keep the device alive, and I knew she was dreading them running out. She would never hear anything again...

'Peter...I mean Peet, your turn,' Lauren signed.

"YAY!" Peet barked and Lauren turned the card for the human-turned-warg.

"Uh...Uh...What is kohlrabi?" Peet asked and Jewel snorted, "You would hate it; it's a vegetable."

"Aww... Minus one point," Peet groaned, and Lauren set the card on the ground beside the game box.

Lauren flipped the next card and Peet frowned and screwed up his snout.

"Hmm...Oh I know! Opposite of this funks you up!"

"Huh?" Torzhug asked. It was boys vs. girls. "Opposite of this...Oh! Uptown funks you up, so...Downtown?"

Peet grinned his toothy grin and Lauren flipped the next card.

"This one's easy! My favorite food ever!"

"Cupcakes" Torzhug said without any hesitation and everyone laughed.

"Times up!" Jewel called, and the box was passed to her. Peet took control of the buzzer.

"Ooh! Boromir has one of these!" Jewel cried and suddenly the buzzer went off... And kept going off...

Everyone stared at Peet who had practically crushed the buzzer under his huge paw.

"You have to be kidding me! Lauren wrote Boromir on the card! That's SOOOO not fair!" Jewel pouted. In tiny purple ink beneath the card, Boromir was written in neatly printed letters. Lauren was absolutely dorky.

'It's to make it more challenging!' Lauren signed defensively.

"Whatever, you're still a dork," Jewel said laughing, and then she turned around to face Peet "Can you please make that thing quit buzzing for goodness sakes!"

"Uh sure..." Peet said, and gave the thing another whack.

To their horror, it shut off, but not before letting out the loudest shriek and leaving them clutching their ears.

"Good God that was probably heard in Mordor! We've got to get out of here! Hurry! I'll pack the tent! Lauren can get the game packed!" Torzhug cried and they scrambled into action.