Chapter 3

[nitesky]

„No one knows

What it's like

You and me, you and I

And if you rip my soul out

You rip my soul out

But it will come right back to you."

[robot koch feat. john lamonica - nitesky]

It was supposed to be simple, normal day at the office. But let me tell you: It wasn't. The day started off very promising, almost perfect with Harvey waking me up, making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich followed by a joint drive to work, Ray politely but knowingly smiling at us. I was terrified to walk into the office, yet I didn't tell Harvey about it. In fact we haven't talked about the whole Jessica and work thing at all but I knew that he was about to tell her today. Jessica was his work related yang, she knew him even longer than I did and I knew he anticipated reception from her. God knows what will happen if she didn't give him any.

We walked into the office together, an occurrence that happened just about… well, never. I'm always in the office before him, mostly at least an hour in order to prep his whole day, god forbid something wasn't ready when mister best closer of New York City entered his holy halls. Bam, the first red flags should be raised by now. I saw Rachel walking by us in a blink of an eye, feeling her lingering stare on me. We're fucked. Well, I'm fucked. I'm just the secretary, he's Mr Perfect.

„Bye, see you later" I mumbled, acknowledging the nonsense I just said since my cubicle was like 20 feet away from his desk.

„See you later" he chuckled and I sat down, slamming my face in my hands, reminding me why the hell I was doing all… this. Mike was still trying everything to make his idea work and therefor he had to figure out a way to take down Harvey. And here I was, his secretary slash girlfriend, the perfect way to make him lose a lot of his investors for this very case.. if not all of them. I was his downfall, his bitch karma. I started working since I was already an hour late than usual and tried not to look at the hot lawyer opposite of me, drinking his coffee and reading today's client's documents oh so perfectly.

My mind was racing, I couldn't focus on anything the paper's on my computer were saying so I made my way to the restroom trying to regain any of my mental ability. I started washing my hands just to occupy myself with something and stared in the mirror across the sink, when a familiar brunette made her way to me. She wasn't looking too amused to say the least.

„Rachel" I winced, realizing how terrified my voice actually sounded. Man the fuck up, Paulson. She's your best friend, not your mother!

„So, I guess my eyes didn't deceive me judging from your odd behavior."

„What do you mean?" I answered nonchalantly, hoping it would distract her.

„Cut this shit, Donna. You know exactly what I mean." Didn't work I guess.

„What do you want me to say, Rachel? I don't have to justify myself in front of you. Out of all the people in this fucking office you're the one to attack me first. Wow, you're such an amazing best friend."

„You're fucking your boss and want everyone to know about it, what the hell do you expect me to think about you? What happened to your last piece of dignity?!"

oh shit. That's how it looks like. Shit. Me fucking my boss, a no strings attached kind of thing, trying to let everyone know. Awesome.

„You don't know anything, Rachel. How the hell did you find out anyway?"

She let out an sarcastic laugh, one of the kind that gets under your skin because of your fricken bad conscience.

„I didn't even know, I just saw you two coming to the office together and well, I put 2 and 2 together after all these years I listened to your crap about Harvey. But you just confirmed it yourself."

I shook my head feeling degraded, misunderstood and kind of betrayed. How the hell would the rest of the office react if even Rachel went ballistic about it.

And then it happened. For the first time in my 10 years at Pearson Specter I started to cry in front of someone and I immediately remembered why I hated it so much. Crying shows vulnerability, never ever cry. That was Harvey and my mantra, our unspoken rule. Rachel was clearly overwhelmed with the situation as well. She took a step towards me and took me in her arms, forgetting about our argument for a while.

„I hate that he can do this to you. Why are you putting yourself through this? He's not good for you, even if he tries. He'll never be wedding material and you know it all too well."

„He…he promised to try" I heaved through my heavy sobbing. „He changed, and I want to believe him, Rach. I wanted this to happen for so long, so just let me try. He's probably talking to Jessica right now about…it."

She looked at me with doubtful eyes, I knew that I couldn't convince her with my little speech but at least I broke the ground. She'll come around sooner or later. I hope.

„So it's not only about sex? I mean, he is, sorry was, a ladies man after all, you know?" Rachel asked clearly uncomfortable.

„We didn't even have sex yesterday. It's only been going on for a day, don't overestimate it just yet, alright? We just decided to start it off right and that means telling everyone as soon as possible. And believe me, it sucks."

„Wait, wait. Nothing happened? Seriously? Whyyy?"

.Fuck. First she's judging me for sleeping with my boss and now because I didn't. Fuck you too, Rachel.

„Are you kidding me? You're not helpful at all right now!"

She let out small laugh, well that's at least a beginning. My buzzing phone snapped us out of our „quality time". Or whatever this was.

Meet me in Jessica's office in 10 minutes.

Need to talk to you about something.

That didn't really sound optimistic. I excused myself, hugged Rachel and quickly left the room. Kinda sorting things out with Rachel - Check!

Before I could even enter Jessica's office, Harvey pulled me into the file room. Wow, that makes it even more confinable and serious between us for any outsiders who might see us. Great job, Specter.

„Where have you been?" he asked, clearly as tense and overwhelmed as I was.

„Rachel knows. I didn't tell her, she just knew. It looks like we're having one of these no strings attached things to everyone else, Harvey. We're fucked. Your Reputation is fucked, I'm never gonna find another job after all this is over. We're simply f.u.c.k.e.d.!" I threw my hands in the air to emphasise whatever the fuck was going on inside me.

„Shh, shh." he tried to calm me down and took me in his arms. I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat once again. „Nobody's reputation is fucked and nobody gets fired. We just need to convince Jessica and that's… not gonna be easy." I started sobbing once again and he just cupped my face in his hands kissing my forehead. „I want you Donna. And we're gonna fight if we have to, okay?"

Truth be told, I didn't want to fight. I just wanted a simple relationship with a man who loves me. A man that made my life easier, not ten thousand times harder. But sadly that's not possible in Donna-Land.

„So you're in?" I snapped out of my thoughts.

„Sorry, what?" I shook my head in confusion

„Do you want to fight if we have to?"

I didn't have to think twice. This was it, I didn't have all the time in the world after all.

„Harvey, have you ever seen Donna refusing a challenge?"

His response? A knowing smile. The most genuine one I've ever seen on his face, to be honest and then he simply kissed me like we've been already doing this for all our lives.

„That's my girl."

Now a toothy grin on my part. Those words just sounded too good to be true.

Hi, I'm Donna Paulson. I'm Harvey Specter's girl.

oookay, 3rd chapter is up. I don't know if you've heard this song before but I definitely recommend listening to it. It's one of my fav songs forever now, I guess :D I don't know what to think about this story at the moment but the happy bliss is gonna be challenged soon, I promise. So don't get used to it please :D

OC is coming soon!

Next chapter's song: Day of the Battle - Jonas Myrin (listen to the acoustic version, way nicer!)