You guys have all been so wonderful with reading my story and staying with me throughout it all -especially...recent occurences...- but I promise things WILL get better, so please don't hate me o~O
Of The Spark And Heart
Part 1
Chapter 12
"Please say something." Fera murmured, watching as Doctor Shelby moved silently to wrap the opened wound at her side. She then sighed and held the gauze down until she could pin it in place. "What should I say? I'm not your mother, whom I'm sure had a lot to say about your injury." she said in a cold tone. Fera winced and pulled on the uniform jacket beside her. The doctor had come into the room soon after Ratchet had left to go find Optimus and Rethalia. She took one look at the teen and had called back the medical 'Bot immediately to help her down. Fera was soon followed by her worried mother, who stalked them outside the room.
Now, Fera was sitting on a temporary bench inside one of the empty rooms the personnel had been evacuated to during the attack. It was a cold, dark room, full of many other hanging cots were the patients laid as doctors, nurses, and any extra helping hands filed around the room. Fera's mother was standing nearby, her arms crossed and a disproving look on her face. She'd been told about Fera's wound as they walked to the room, her reaction nothing less than shocked.
"Oh, you have no idea." Sarah commented darkly. Doctor Shelby came back and handed Fera a pair of painkillers, which she swallowed dry.
"Mom, it was for your own safety. I couldn't have told you otherwise you would have been suspicious." Fera insisted, drawing her jacket close. Her father's name tag had somehow stayed on the jacket even through the fiery beating she'd taken. Fera's mother came forward and stood closer so her voice wouldn't be as loud. "Suspicious? I'm pretty sure I couldn't connect a stab wound for giant transforming robots." she hissed hotly. Fera ducked under her mother's disapproving gaze before slowly looking up and fully hiding her wrappings behind her jacket.
"It's not that...well...maybe. But if you asked questions about that then it would have led up into that!" she tried defending herself, but it probably was not going to help.
Fera's mom nearly growled, causing her daughter to once again back down. "Fera, I am you mother. I worry ok? I'm like that. And my daughter getting stabbed would make me worry a little, sorry." she apologized sarcastically. Fera felt her heart sink and she suddenly grew very, very guilty. "Mom, I'm sorry for making you worry. But I swore I wouldn't say anything about them. And besides, Optimus was able to protect me when that drone attacked...us..." she trailed off, regretting every word. Fera's mouth parted and her face drained, her eyes widening. Doctor Shelby, once taking stand behind Fera's mother, slowly slinked away.
"Attacked by what?!" Sarah exclaimed in a high-pitched tone. A few people around them looked up at the noise and stared curiously. Fera avoided her mom's gaze and focused on choosing her words more carefully. "SO let me get this straight," her mother started, raising her hands, "you were stabbed, informed on a top secret government operation, and attacked by a drone?" she summed. Fera put up a shy finger and peeked up. "I also hid one of them in our barn...nevermind." from the look on her mother's face, she could tell that now was not a really good time to be adding to her problems.
Sarah lifted a hand and slowly pinched the bridge of her nose, as if she was desperately trying not to blow up. "Fera...listen to me very, very carefully." she ordered, closing her eyes. "If you ever so much as not tell me you sneezed, I will ground you from having a social life, got it? And so help you, if you leave this room without authorization from Doctor Shelby, I will personally put you in a straight jacket."
She then slapped the back of Fera's head and turned on her heels, striding out of the room. Fera winced with the hit and watched her mother go. Doctor Shelby came back over with a sly grin on her face, which Fera scowled at and held out her arm to allow the doctor to spread burn medication over her skin.
"What are you so happy about?" Fera mumbled, grouchy from the public display of punishment her mother had given her. Doctor Shelby pressed the cold, thick mixture over Fera's arm, calming the raging heat she felt from the marks. "Let's just say that that was from both of us. You needed a good slap for exerting yourself as you did." she answered, almost teasingly.
Fera blew out of her lips and rolled her eyes, pouting. "Ya, well it's not really that easy to relax around here." she retorted hotly. The doctor chuckled and finished Fera's arm, beginning to remove her gloves. "You could say that again." she turned and walked away to throw away the soiled equipment.
It wasn't until 3 days later until Fera was allowed to leave the room. She had been told that a little exercise wouldn't hurt her, although she maybe sore for a while. She made sure to herself that she would take up that opportunity, especially considering she hated being held somewhere for too long. All she could do while in that room anyway was either bother the nurses, help with ridiculously mundane tasks, or sleep. Meals were something she more dreaded than looked forward to.
While taking a much needed walk with Doctor Shelby, Epps had shown himself and escorted them to one of the small rooms Fera had been taken to her first day at the base. It seemed to be more like a year than a week...
"Now, remember three days ago? The attack and the big woop with the 'Cons?" he inquired, bringing out a laptop. Fera and Doctor Shelby nodded, watching him carefully. "Well...we thought you both would like to have a look at this. And don't worry, we deleted it soon after I downloaded the tape." he said, turning on the laptop and pushing it towards them. Fera knitted her eyebrows in confusion and she leaned forward across the table. Doctor Shelby came closer as well, her face hovered over Fera's shoulder.
The images flashed over the screen of the laptop, clear with the high quality of the camera. The video began, showing a large room, much like the one she'd gone to with Sol. Three of the Cybertronians were occupying it, including Optimus Prime, Rethalia Prime, and Ratchet. Ratchet was bent over Optimus' knee, tinkering with it. Rethalia sat beside him on the silver table, holding his hand and leaning over to watch Ratchet's work. Their words were nothing more than clicks, whirrs, and small noises, seeming quite random and weird to her. "What are they saying?" Fera wondered, looking up at her uncle. Epps shrugged and sat down across from them. "We think it's their language. We've studied it since the fight in Chicago, but we just can't decipher it."
Fera watched the screen again just as a very angry-looking Sarah Lennox strode into the room. She grew absolutely horrified, giving a low moan and hiding her face with one hand.
"Oh my Lo-" she was abruptly cut off, "Ratchet, may I please have a moment with Optimus Prime? Alone." Sarah asked pointedly. Ratchet looked up from his work and took one look down at her, turning back to his work. "I'm sorry Miss Lennox, but-"
"Ratchet, I have a very short patience. I don't want you on the end of it." she interrupted in warning. The mech looked up and began to say something, but she shot him a glare that could melt the metal off his body. "Optimus, I will be back. Rethalia, please come with me." he conceded gruffly.
Sarah nodded thankfully to the medic as he passed. She then did the same with the fembot as she too left the room. The door closed behind them and Sarah came closer to the berth. "Miss Lennox, I feel as though you are upset." Optimus noted calmly. Sarah barked a laugh and shook her head. "Yes. Yes I am. Very upset." she lost her fake humor and narrowed her eyes. "Optimus, I respect you, I do," she began blandly, "but what in the name of all that's holy were you thinking, endangering the life a 17-year-old girl?" she crossed her arms and Optimus just sat still, surprising Fera with his lack of emotion. "Miss Lennox-"
"My name is Sarah." she put in. Optimus paused and blinked. "Sarah. Fera was safe in my care. I would not have allowed harm to come to her." he assured. Sarah's nails seemed to dig into her arms.
"And what if it had? Did you really think I would have stood for the threat of life to my child?" she demanded peevishly. Optimus visibly flinched. "I would personally have dealt with her care myself. However, it was a mere drone, not even soldier class in our society of-"
"I don't care if it was a flying toaster! She was in direct way of possibly coming to face with the business end of a giant alien. And not only that, but she was apparently 'sworn to secrecy' from her own mother." she raised her fingers in air-quotations with the words 'sworn to secrecy'.
Optimus leaned down to see her better and she continued to glare up at the larger form before her. "It is basic protocol for all civilian witnesses. However, I am sure she wanted your safety secured as well." he insisted. Sarah huffed and raised her chin. Fera nearly fell out of her chair in embarrassment. Her mother was going way overboard with this! Besides, Solas had been the one with her when she'd been injured, not Optimus. What was she going to say to the Prime? "And I'm sure not informing me about her stabbing is basic protocol as well?" her mother asked incredulously. Optimus sat straighter, seeming surprised. "I was not informed of her secrecy behind her being wounded."
Sarah let her arms fall and Fera sunk her head into her arms, peeking nervously over her arms. "You're commander of a base of giant robots! One of them whom is apparently guarding my daughter, and you want to tell me you didn't know about this?" she narrowed one eye and leered at the Prime. Optimus has a better patience than I thought, Fera noted silently. "I am not informed of all goings on in this building. I apologize for your daughter's injury." he said flatly. Sarah took one step closer, then another.
"You really expect me to believe, after all I've been through today, that you simply are going to apologize and brush away our issue?" she nearly growled.
Oh no, Fera moaned to herself, hiding her eyes. "This is where it um...gets interesting." Epps commented.
"Sarah, I do not understand what it is you would like me to say." Optimus admitted, causing Fera to glance up over her arms. "Have you ever wondered what a mother bear does to those who mess with her cubs?" Sarah wondered in mock calm. Optimus drew in his eyebrows and shook his head. Sarah stopped approaching and stood just below Optimus' feet.
"Well, she first gives the enemy a warning. Which is what I'm doing now." she held up a finger, "Then, they charge." another finger, "And finally, they tear out their opponent's throat." she raised her third finger, but gave a disturbing smile along with it.
Fera knitted her eyebrows and nearly closed her eyes. Optimus seemed at a lost for words, not speaking directly after Fera's mother's quite...informative lecture. "And if it were not clear enough to you, Optimus Prime," she went on, dropping the smile and gaining another more threatening tone, "if she is harmed in any way while in you or your comrades' care, I will personally give a verbal lashing hard enough to cower your God. Understand?" she commanded. When Optimus didn't immediately answer, she rose straighter. "Do I make myself clear?!" she demanded, louder. Optimus jerked from the boom of her voice and he nodded. "Yes, Sarah. Very clear." he agreed.
Sarah Lennox leaned back on her heels, her stance softening. "Good. Now, I thank you for your time." she then dipped her head and turned on her heels, promptly walking out from the room.
At first, everyone just sat there. The room froze and the only sound came from Epps shutting the computer. Fera sat stock still in her seat, absolutely terrified. Doctor Shelby was sitting beside Fera, but she excused herself and came back about a minute later, wiping tears from her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed and she was still giggling. Fera figured her ears to be on fire and she felt completely, absolutely, mortified. Just two minutes of her life had turned into the most embarrassing moment of her existence. Optimus Prime was a respectable character to her, and for her mother to just...just...flat out reprimand the leader of the Autobots...
And to think, she had just fainted a few days ago.
The doctor patted her back gently and hid another snicker. "I feel so bad for you right now." she poked irritatingly. Fera groaned dramatically and tucked her burning expression in her arms. "Thanks. You're so supportive." she mumbled. Doctor Shelby laughed again and Epps patted her shoulder. "One of the officers talked to her afterwards. Actually I was the officer. I didn't make her apologize because, well, I knew you were the only one she'd actually listen to. And, in my mind, she was way too angry to be contained anyway." Fera looked up at his comment and she found him precariously balancing the computer at the edge of the table.
Fera looked at him curiously. "She's a mom, who can blame her?" he shrugged and feigned a wandering gaze around the room. "They said I just had to talk to her. They never said she had to give me a straight answer." his hand slipped and Fera jumped straight. The laptop finally lost center balance, tipping and clattering to the floor. It flipped upside down, the corner chipping off and skittering away. The casing cracked and Fera's eyes widened, her gaze traveling to the man. Epps lifted his hands and held a pitiful look of surprise. Locking eyes with her, he shrugged. "Oops." he voiced lightly. A wide, beaming smile crossed her face, laughter bubbling in her throat.
Epps sneakily pointed out a camera behind him and Fera nodded, still smiling. "Well, I guess I'm clumsier than I thought." he stood and Fera followed his lead. She hadn't been closer to a happy mood than at that moment for a long time. Epps smiled back at her and opened his arms wide. Fera rounded the table and hugged him, giving a small "ow" as her side was squeezed by mistake. Epps apologized, and hugged her softer. "Alright, alright, enough of that, it's high time we get those bandages removed." Doctor Shelby said, a hint of amusement in her tone.
She broke the two of them up and Fera gave a quiet "thanks" before following out of the room. She rubbed her side sorely and grimaced with the pain as her medication seemed to be wearing off. They walked down the hallway towards the back room, seeing as Fera was in no shape to make the full trip back to the medical wing. It wasn't very packed at the moment, seeing as most of the extra hands were either repairing the base or constantly patrolling the area. Until each Cybertronian was in good enough condition to make the trek back to the base in Washington D.C, everyone was to stay put and just hope for the best. She almost snorted at the thought.
Hope.
It seemed so empty now. It was a lot harder to have hope when you were absolutely helpless to do anything.
The air was chilly again as it usually was during pretty much the entire day. But the rumor was that it felt like it was going to snow at the very lowest of the levels. When was the last time she's been actually warm? Wasn't it before the battle? When she'd been with Solas Kaon. Of course. When he wasn't in his state. Fera wanted to just sit against the wall and hide her face again. No matter what everyone said, it was all her fault. It had been a week in advance, but it was still her doing. If she hadn't followed those strange cars, she wouldn't be here and Sol wouldn't be locked in his unresponsive state. It was then too that she'd had that sense- the knowing in the back of her mind that it was a mistake. But for some reason, she'd felt compelled by her curiosity.
Wasn't it curiosity that had killed the cat? Well she hadn't gotten killed yet, but she sure had been close to it a few times. Hopefully Sol wouldn't be the cat in her problem. The prouder side of her denied that he was completely innocent; that he was just a reckless, testosterone-filled male with all the stubbornness and pride that came with his kind. He'd deserved a good slap to the back of the head. But a fully induced stasis? Not even she could say he deserved that. He could tease her and mock her and deny he felt any friendliness towards her, but she could comfortably say that his presence was better than none at all. That hard-headed goof was probably the closest thing she'd come to having a friend other than Bumblebee or Doctor Shelby.
And all she could think of as she fell into her weakened slumbers was: it's all my fault...he's hurt and it's all my fault...all my fault... she jumped and winced again as a hand was laid on her shoulder. Looking behind her, she saw the hand belonged to Doctor Shelby. "Are you ok?" she asked concernedly. Fera quickly nodded, turning her head to clear her mind. "Yeah, I am. Just thinking." she answered with a distracted and distant voice. Behind her, the doctor watched her for a moment uncertainly, but then she seemed to get over it. They walked on in silence until they reached the door. Fera went on as Doctor Shelby stopped to talk with someone.
She was basically the only patient left since nearly all the others transferred back to the main medical wing. There was only about three left: two men and a woman. One of the men had a broken arm while the other was healing a head injury. The woman was being kept for a slash across her back. All in all, Fera was almost completely ignored. It wasn't like she wasn't used to it, she was far past it actually. It had become a regular thing seeing as she mostly kept to herself at school. Not even her teachers paid her much mind. Fera carefully walked over to her waist-high cot and slipped over it, laying down.
"What does it take to get a little painkillers around here?!" it was the man with the broken arm, complaining yet again. Fera rolled her eyes and lifted an arm to lay across her forehead. She peeked over at the man and found him sitting on the edge of his cot, his legs hanging off the edge. He had his banged up limb in a sling with a puffy covering over a cut on his cheek. A nurse hurried over to him, a cup in hand. She handed him the pills and he swallowed them dry. "Sorry 'bout that Sargent Quinn." she apologized shyly. He nodded and swung his legs over the side of the bed to lie down. "It's ok. Just make sure you don't ignore the others." he remarked. Fera sighed when she saw the nurse nod and nearly stumble away. It was obvious she liked the man, but it was a pointless, almost childish infatuation.
The door opened and Fera lifted her arm, looking towards the noise. Doctor Shelby walked in, a grave look to her face. Confused, Fera knitted her eyebrows and sat up slowly. The woman went straight to work, cutting Fera's bandages and moving to grab the fresh wrappings. When she returned, Fera waited until she had begun to apply the gauze. "Are you ok? You seem mad about something." she asked gently. Doctor Shelby seemed to ignore her for a moment before Fera tapped her shoulder. She jumped at the touch and dropped the sterile pair of scissors she'd been holding. Softly, she cursed and picked them up.
Fera watched the doctor as she walked away and gathered a new pair, throwing the ones she dropped in a sink. When she came back, she finished her work and stood straight, placing the scissors on a tray. A heavy breath came from the woman and she placed her hands on her hips, looking around before locking eyes with Fera. "I really don't want to tell you...but you have a right to know if you really want to." she paused for a moment, seemingly hesitant to say anything. Fera became increasingly uncomfortable, but strangely curious. There it was again: her curiosity.
The teen nodded, engrossed. Doctor Shelby studied her a moment, unmoving. She then gave a huff and began rummaging through her coat. A piece of paper was yanked from her pocket and she handed the folded square to Fera, avoiding her eyes. Fera looked at the paper, and then the woman. She reached forward and felt the gauze on her abdomen stretch as she took the document. Again darting a glance at the doctor, Fera carefully unwrapped the paper. Inside it was a series of random notes and information, one statement circled in dark-black Sharpie marker. Fera scanned the highlighted area and she felt her heart drop.
Documented at 01:03 pm in room 001701: Scanners detect low-level brain activity as described by chief medical officer. Condition: Stable
Documented at 02:45 pm in room 001701: Slight fluctuation of brain activity located in unidentified area. Condition: Unknown
Documented at 05:10 pm in room 001701: Electronic signals are logged and reported to main sector of 80108. Condition: Stable
Documented at 05:35 pm in room 001701: Cardiac arrest reported. No sign of pulse in patient, designated dead for 05.00 minute(s). Condition: Presumed dead
Fera felt all the air had been stripped from her lungs. She dropped the paper and raised hand to her mouth, silencing any noise she could make. She felt absolutely sick inside. Her insides twisted past just her external injuries and she could sense the beginnings of nausea.
No. This wasn't right. No.
She refused to believe so.
Her throat felt raw and it ached painfully, her eyes stinging. Her free hand dug dirtied nails into her thigh. Her body trembled and she closed her eyes, trying to calm the overwhelming fright she felt stirring the bland military food given to her for lunch that afternoon.
"Terra." Fera whispered, raising her shaking hand. Terra was Doctor Shelby's actually name, never uttered before by Fera besides when she was first told it. "Who was that patient in the report?" Fera opened her eyes and pressed her hand to her mouth again, raising her eyes. The doctor before her was picking up the paper, ripping it to shreds as if it were a disgusting piece of trash.
The quiet was suffocating. The air was unusually cold. Fera held back the shiver that threatened her and she wiped her sweaty palms on her new uniform pants. Terra called over a nurse and told her to lock the door. Fera stared after the hurried woman in anxiety, her hand leaving her mouth. "Who was that patient?" she repeated, increasingly distressed. Doctor Shelby continued to wait, watching as her subordinate entered in the lock codes. Fera slipped off the cot and walked closer to the doctor, her free hand swinging the woman around.
"Terra, who was that patient?!" she was getting hysteric now; full to the brim.
Doctor Shelby looked to the floor and then the ceiling, letting the air leave her nose. The sound of the code being accepted rang out and she didn't even hesitate to lock eyes with Fera.
"Solas Kaon."
Dread as heavy as a wet blanket laid over Fera and she felt her knees go weak. Cardiac arrest. Condition was dead. Solas Kaon was dead. And it was absolutely, by no doubt in her mind, all her fault.
Fera felt like her head was floating off her shoulders, her ears roaring. Her eyes were dry with the lack of her blinking and her throat felt like she's swallowed a block of salt. Her wound seemed insignificant at the moment and no one seemed real. The lights grew brighter and the sounds were seemingly louder. Fera couldn't find the strength to breath, black spots dancing before her eyes. She fell back, hitting the cot.
She could feel the hands on her shoulders and the soft words spoken to her by her ear, but none of it mattered. None of it. Now, she knew that it was her doing. She was the reason. What kind of person let their friend die alone? That's what he had been while she was here: alone. That thought disturbed her the most. Sol had met his creator absolutely, terrifyingly alone. It was sickening to think. But that is what happened.
Her hand ripped through her hair as she fought to stay on her feet. Her other hand's nails punctured the thin paper set back on the cot. "Fera? Fera!" there were voices here. Around her, there were voices. But who? The lights were so bright. She felt like she was going to puke. But then she felt something else. Something between anger and consuming guilt.
She blinked, the movement stinging her dry eyes. Her mind caught in a fog- her thoughts muddled. No longer did she remember where she was or when she'd gotten here, but one thing was clear: it was all her fault. No amount of confusion and pained grief could blind that. Why hadn't she been there for him? Couldn't she have at least been told his health was declining? She wanted to have stood there, maybe watch nearby, as her Guardian slowly flatlined. But no, she had been even deprived of the right. It was down right wrong is what it was. She was past the teasing and the hope. Now, all that was left was hollow guilt.
She should have been there. She should have been with him.
Unknowing of why to even her, she stood and started numbly to the door. Arms barred her way. "I need to see him." she mumbled, staring at the flat grey sheet of metal before her. Her legs pressed her on harder, her arms coming up to aid her. She began struggling, trying to get past. A sheen of sweat doused across her brow and her teeth clenched. Bright blue eyes were now an icy crystal, hard as the floor beneath their feet.
"Let me go! I need to see for myself!" she roared, thrashing. There was no sense in her struggles, but she didn't care. Her hair had come loose from her ponytail and now it just flapped wildly against her face.
Knees pumped and elbows were thrown out before she caught a wall of flesh and she yanked her body in attempt to free herself. "Let me go! Please..." she trailed off and flailed in useless attempts. Hands detained her arms by pinning them to her back and her waist became wrapped up by a pair of strong arms. Heart racing and her mind in a daze, Fera thrashed and fought, at one point yelling out in frustration. Restraints held back her wrists and her legs no longer met her targets. They could hold her back for all she cared, she just wanted to be left alone!
"Fera, settle down!" someone commanded.
Suddenly, her body lifted into the air and she felt her upper half pitch forward. Infuriated, she struggled against her restraints and started kicking. "Put me down!" she yelled. In regular situations, she didn't like being lifted. Now, it was even worse. A deranged, grief-stricken woman was nobody to take lightly. But then she was flung across her cot, her hands now free. She used this to her advantage, throwing up her fists to beat whoever was holding her down. She now knew whomever it was was no woman, but a man, meaning she could fight and kick till her heart's content. Her words were slurring into one another as she spat her anger, the word "sedative" being used as a warning against her.
Her eyes opened and the blurry sheen on her eyes lifted. The limbs she used as weapons became weighed down by fatigue. Lungs burning with her passionate fit, she gasped for air as she stared a searing gaze into the person holding her down. Now her hands were pinned above her, her legs barred. There was a man leaning over her, his arms suppressing hers. He was a soldier, but not one of the patients. He must have been on guard duty. He looked like his cheek was slightly pink, evidence of Fera's struggles against him. His muscling bulged as he kept up the pressure on her wrists and ankles.
"Get off of me, I need to see him." she panted, breathless. The man shook his head, his lips held in a hard line. "No, you're in no condition to be exerting yourself." he said in a deep, clear voice. Fera gave a stare that would make her mother proud and she shoved her face in his own.
"Who are you to say? You don't understand, none of you do!" she threw her head back down and fought the ache in her throat. Her body jerked and the man jerked with her. "You need to calm down. Otherwise, a knockout nap is in your close future." he warned. Fera moaned and clenched her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut.
"It's all my fault, all of it. And I wasn't there for him like I should have..." she trailed off and she found herself unable to stop the hot tears from building in her eyes.
The man still held his firm grip on her, but she no longer felt the strength to try to escape. Instead, her gibbering, whimpering, baby-self could only allow the tears to fall. "What are you...?" the man stared at her in confusion and slowly loosened his hold. Fera shook her head and set it to the side, her slick tears running over her lips and tipping her tongue in salty drops. "He was my friend...and I wasn't there..." she released a deep breath and let her sobs set in. It all came crashing in at once. All my fault, all because of me, she kept telling herself.
"Solas..." she murmured his name and felt her whole body fall limp in pure sorrow. She was upset about her friend dying, yes. But it wasn't just that.
Oh, no. That was far from it.
He had protected her, guarded her. His life was sacrificed in her place. And he left this world cold and alone. It was the least she could have done to be there when he'd passed. And she hadn't. Her due wasn't paid. She still owed him. And she hated having the debt on her conscience.
"I wasn't there..." she whispered this and kept repeating it silently. And in her senseless, pitiful crying, she was slowly lifted up into a sitting position and brought close to someone's chest. One arm was awkwardly wrapped around her, holding her firmly. She could smell the deep musk of the male body and the feel of a crisp uniform. But she didn't care. She was too weak- too caught up in her self-disgust. The soldier just hugged her near, supporting her racking frame.
"You are a strange girl, you know that?" he murmured. She could feel his breath on her ear, his hand brushing her back. She clenched her fingers around his uniform and let her tears stain his shirt. If he offered her comfort, she'd be stupid not to use it. There was only weakness in her body as it seemed unable and unwilling to even move. She sniffed and pressed her wet cheek to his shirt.
"This thing was a friend of yours?" he asked softly. Fera nodded, wiping the tear streak off her face. "I'm sorry." he said this and jerkily patted her back. Fera only let go of his shirt, studying the fabric with watery eyes. She found his name tag just over one pocket and she read the name Marks marked in black lettering.
"Listen, I'm not a big touchy-feely guy ok?" he muttered, finding her gaze. She nodded and drew back, taking a deep, shaky lungful of air. "The name's James Marks. I can relate to loosing a friend. It hurts. A lot." he commented. Fera touched the necklace at her neck, trying to find some form of comfort. "But you gotta be strong, ok? It hurts, but you got to get through it." he release her back and leaned away. Fera locked eyes with him again and saw the hard truth in their hazel color. She just silently nodded again and turned on her cot to lay with her knees drawn close to her chin, her hand tucked close to her collarbone.
She felt James move away and the quiet exchange that happened between Doctor Shelby and him. "How did you do that?" she murmured. Fera blinked and darted a weary glance at the two. James' back was to her and was standing close to his side. He looked at her over his shoulder and then looked away, flashing a long white scar across the back of his neck. "She needed someone to help her. I know exactly how it feels to lose someone you feel close to. She's lost and alone and thinks that she was undeserving of his sacrifice." he stabbed a finger at the ground. "You have to make sure that feeling goes away. Otherwise," he paused and patted a badge at his chest. "she'll end up like me."
*Runs and hides behind Optimus*
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't realize how bad this really sounded until I actually pasted it here 0~o
*Climbs into Optimus' holding chamber*
Maybe I can stay in here for awhile...
OH
And for those crying at their keyboards like I almost did when I re-read this:
Have faith in a human, will ya? :D