Chapter 4
[day of the battle]
„I come for you, you come for me
In this firestorm
I fight for you, you fight for me
we keep marching on
This is the day of the battle
we're fighting fire with fire
This is the day of the battle for life."
[jonas myrin - day of the battle]
His response? A knowing smile. The most genuine one I've ever seen on his face, to be honest and then he simply kissed me like we've been doing this for all our lives.
„That's my girl."
Now a toothy grin on my part. Those words just sounded too good to be true.
Hi, I'm Donna Paulson. I'm Harvey Specter's girl.
A forcefully opened door snapped us out of our private bubble.
„I really hope this is not the reason you wanted to talk to me so urgently" Jessica Pearson spat out in the most intimidating voice I've ever heard. And I'm not one of these people who feel intimidated very easily.
„Sorry to disappoint you, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."
She gave him the look of doom again, carefully overthinking her next words.
„Well, my answer is simple. You cannot be together. At least not officially. A senior partner sleeping with his secretary would be public suicide for us and you know all too damn well, Harvey that we cannot afford it right now. What you two do in your free time is none of my business. But the both of you are valued staff members of this firm and because of that you know that this" her finger flickering between the two of us „is not possible. As much as I appreciate that you two finally found each other."
Her answer really was simple. She clearly did not give her blessing to us.
Worst case scenario was happening right now. At least we had a day to be happy. Better than nothing, I guess.
„Jessica, you cannot forbid us to be together. I used to value your opinion, more than my own sometimes to be honest but it's not your place to tell me who I get to date and who's on your personal black ."
Mental note: Fighting with Jessica Pearson - pointless.
„Starting to date your secretary in the middle of the most complicated, most personal and most important case of your career is not only an disadvantage to YOU. It's a disadvantage to the whole firm, Harvey."
„What are you trying to tell me?"
„I'm telling you not to make it official just yet. What you're doing after this… clash, that's your problem. But don't run to me if this destroyed your career"
To simplify what she just said: „If you have to have a secret, dirty affair with your secretary, don't let anyone know until the whole Mike-thing is over. Everything that happens after that is none of my fucking business and I don't care if you get yourself fired. At least we win that damn case. Oh, and keep me the fuck out of it"
You just gotta love lawyers. They're so emotional. And kind. And respectful.
My mind was still processing all of this, Harvey was simply nodding. A muzzled Harvey. Striking event in the history of Pearson Specter.
„I understand." was Harvey's wisdom of the day. No shit Sherlock, it doesn't take a Harvard degree to solve that riddle!
„Wow, that was…face. I can see why she's the perfect lawyer."
Harvey still tried to wrap his mind around what just happened. And what it would means for us in the end.
— wherever this goes —
„Have you seen her face?! Like we just killed all her cute little baby unicorns she bred in the backyard of her 3 million dollar condo!" I yelled at him back at his place after a long, exhausting day of pretend at the office. Our nerves were raw to say the least.
„A condo doesn't have a backyard."
„THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT, HARVEY!" I yelled at him, figuring out a way in my head to kill him in the most torturous and painful way.
„She'll destroy you if you make it official. We can't do this, it's not worth all this.." Oh shit, not a very clever thing to say.
„What do mean, it's not worth it? You know I'm serious about this, about us and I'm trying my best here but you're not helping at all, actually!"
„That's not what I meant, Harvey" I groaned, throwing my hands in the air. Fighting with him was the last thing I needed today. „I know you for a very long time now and you've never been serious about anyone but yourself. So it's only natural that I don't have that much faith in your sudden change of mind just yet. Damn it, you're Harvey Specter. What am I supposed to think?"
„So my name is now a justification for your unfair behavior?! I haven't done anything to fuck you off just yet, have I? Why can't you just believe me, damn it?" He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, very similar to the way he eyed me in that bathroom two years ago when I forgot about that document which got me fired in the end. Way too similar.
I just turned about and made my way to the bathroom, closing the door shut in one maybe a tad too forceful motion. My back slid down the door, resulting in me sitting huddled up against the door, head on my knees and crying for what felt like the thousandth time today. This thing was already killing me. I was over the fact that I was with Harvey, THE Harvey that used to be my best friend for over a decade. I already wrapped my mind around it. But what was slowly eating me up inside was the thought of destroying his career, his holy career, if this, if we, went wrong. The stakes were high, we knew that all along, but maybe they are too high at this point.
I heard a knock on the door, of course he came after me. Why couldn't he be the asshole he used to be, making both of our lives easier.
„Donna, come on. We'll get through this, it'll get easier."
„We've been doing this for exactly one day now and we're already fucking this up." My voice was muffled by the fabric of my dress.
„Could you please let me in? I don't exactly enjoy talking through doors." He complained, sounding like a little spoiled princess.
I slowly got up and opened the door, my heart reminding itself why I was doing this as I saw Harvey standing there, grinning at me with his trademark Specter Smile. Kill me now.
„Come here" he whispered as he pulled me into a tight hug, my head comfortably resting on his chest. „Let's just do this. We try to keep it low till that shit case is finished and after that everyone can now. I'll even wear a button with „I love Donna Paulson" on it if you want me to."
My heart skipped a beat. Did he just tell me unwillingly that he loved me? Everything was going so damn fast.
„I'll definitely make you wear one of those, mister" I gave back, smiling into his chest and totally content with life for a blink of an eye. Only for a blink of an eye though.
I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face and it never feels out of place.
Oh no.
And you're still probably working at a 9/5 pace, I wonder how bad that tastes.
I hate my life.
When you see my face, I hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. When you walk my way, I hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.
Baaam, bitch karma strikes again.
„What the hell is that song?" Harvey asked, confusion written all over his face.
„That's my phone." My eyes were pressed together tightly. I was too afraid to open them just yet, hoping my phone would just shut up if I ignored it.
„Aaaaaand?"
„Well, that song is indicating that my bitch of a sister is calling."
And that was number 4. I know that the last two updates were on the shorter side but hey, this is the 4th update I've given you today :D Don't expect me to update that fast in the future though please, I've already written these like weeks ago. Just wanted to mention it :D
And here we go again, next chapter's Song: Ours - Taylor Swift (Chapter name is gonna be different though)