There was this one review that made me think a lot before I wrote this chapter.
Lilian062: You probably already got the PM. But your wish has been granted.
Chapter 24
Threesomes
A tall, slim woman in dark clothes placed a motorcycle helmet over her head as she left the elevator. She lifted the visor a little so she could see where she was going.
"Excuse me, ma'am." She turned around and saw a bellhop looking at her disapprovingly. "Headgear needs to be off in the lobby."
The woman snorted and continued walking. "It would, but I'm not going to be in this lobby any longer than five seconds."
"If you're headed for Domus Flau, there's no use. The stadium's already full."
The woman spun on her heeled boot and lifted her helmet. "Not if I'm part of the reserve squad."
The bellhop yelped in shock, bumping into the front desk. "You...you're that chick that's supposed to be dead!"
She smirked. "Vell then, sorry to disappoint."
Jigumo put on a black leather jacket and headed out of the room. Once he locked the door, he picked up the unconscious noble and hoisted him like a potato sack. "Note to self: take a nice long shower," he muttered.
"...what?" The baron woke with a start and pounded Jigumo's back. "Unhand me, oaf! I am the king's advisor and I demand to be put down this instant!"
"Yeah? Well I'm the Imperial Guardian of the West and I order you to shut it!" The real Imperial Guardian retorted. "Otherwise, I might just let little Niebel take the lacrima for himself!"
"As if I would allow a slave brat to steal what is mine!" Hubert hissed.
"Hey, the lacrima will be with you but on one condition." Jigumo held the baron on his shoulder with one arm while the other twisted his ankle threateningly. "You will obey me now. And you will hand over all of your riches in exchange for the Dragon Lacrima."
"Why should I?"
"Hey, we could have stuck to six million Jewels if it weren't for the complainer's fee, the blackmail fee, the confidentiality fee, the usurper's fee, the personal hygeine fee—the list could go on and on! And do you have any idea how much a Dragon Lacrima is worth these days? Ten billion Jewels to an entire kingdom! And the one you ordered happens to include some other types of magic—"
"I will have your head for threatening a member of the king's court!" The baron shrilled.
"And the king will have your head for staging a coup d'état!" Jigumo snapped. "Besides, if it does work, your old fortune will seem like lunch money."
"Fine!" The advisor yelled. "But if it fails—"
"You have a less likely chance of failing, though it might become more likely if you keep complaining and I snap your neck accidentally—"
"Just hurry up and retrieve my lacrima!"
"Hey, first let's go to the bank and complete the business transaction. And one more thing..."
"And that is?"
"Take a bath!"
Sherry frowned. "Now that I think about it...those hats don't go with you guys."
Niebel and Glacia sweated comically. "You think?" Indeed, the straw hats contradicted their outfits. If it weren't for the headwear, they would pass for rich children.
"Just give me a minute, I'll fix it," she swore, looking around. It just so happened that two men were fighting near where they were standing. They were drunk and two loose wool caps lay forgotten. "Hat Dolls!"
The wool caps came to life and crawled over to them; the drunkards never noticed. Once they were close enough for Sherry to pick up, they fell limp. The 'twins' swapped the hats for the wool caps.
"That's better," Glacia mumbled as she stuffed her ponytail into the hat. Sherry noticed that the back of her neck was bare—that was where her guild mark had been.
That's right, the Doll Play mage remembered sadly. Guild marks stay as long as you're a mage...
"Are you done playing dress up, Sherry?" came an annoyed response from her guild mate.
"Hey, if men learned how important it is to be fashionable—!"
"AAAIIIIEEEEE!"
In the beginning, it was a game. Then there was a Fire Dragon Slayer chasing the unfamiliar duo of Imperial Snow. Flames streaked across the land as Natsu pursued the two. "Get back here, weirdos! I wanna ask something!"
"Who's the weird one: us running away or him chasing and asking?" The first muttered.
"I heard that!" Natsu yelled.
"Look!" The second pointed at a beacon at the top of the hill. "Our beacon!"
"Where's your Ice Dragon Slayer?" Natsu growled behind the first hacker.
"Press the button, press the button!" Hacker number one yelled.
The second hacker pressed the button that read 'X2'.
Meanwhile, Yuka rushed away from Sting while he hauled Toby over to their beacon. Toby blew the dog whistle constantly so that the White Dragon Slayer would fall behind.
"Stupid dog whistle," Sting cursed as he held his ears.
"Sting..."
The White Dragon Slayer looked around for the source of the voice. His eyes landed on Rogue, who came toward him while leaning on his katana, then the blood on his shirt. "Dude, what happened?"
"That's the last time I'll fall for that trick," the Shadow Dragon Slayer snarled.
"He did it again?" Sting guessed, referring to Mizuno's copy of Glacia on the first day.
"Whoever you are, just answer!" Yuka slammed his fist down on the X1 button.
At the same time, Risley, Beth, and Arania reached their team's beacon. "But...which one do we press?" Beth wondered. There were four buttons: X1, X2, X3, and X4.
"Who cares, just as long as we get tagged out!" Arania reached out and pushed X2. No longer needed to guard the beacon, Kagura went off to join the war.
"Lamia Scale, Imperial Snow, and Mermaid Heel have all called for substitutes! Who will answer the call to action?"
In another area, Lucy managed to escape Sasori until he cornered her near a tiny pond.
Sasori looked around in amusement. "Nowhere to run." Serket clicked her claws menacingly.
Right now, she was faced with a scorpion master and his pet. What the Celestial Wizard needed was an invincible wrath.
Like an ill-tempered girlfriend worrying over Scorpio! Lucy thrust Aquarius' key into the water. "Open! Gate of the Water Bearer! Aquarius!"
Water sloshed out of the pond as Aquarius burst out, her urn raised above her head while her eyes flashed. "Who did that to MY man?!" she yelled.
Raising an eyebrow, Sasori jabbed a thumb towards himself. "You're that pipsqueak's girlfriend, I presume?"
Oh dear, Lucy sweated nervously as a vein throbbed in Aquarius' temple. "Pipsqueak?" The mermaid repeated, an eyebrow twitched. "I'll show you pipsqueak! Take this!"
Aquarius drew her urn back, a tsunami formed from the pond water as she did. The wave surged forward, consuming Sasori and his scorpion in its wake. And for once, Lucy wasn't caught in it.
"You're lucky I have Scorpio to worry about," Aquarius finally said. "I'll be going back to take care of my boyfriend."
"No need to rub it in," Lucy muttered as Aquarius vanished.
The ground underneath her feet erupted, and Lucy was suspended in the air by Serket the scorpion.
"You really thought a jealous girlfriend would defeat me?" Dripping wet, Sasori walked across the scorpion's back as Serket's tail swayed before Lucy's eyes. "Think again."
Imperial Snow 45P
Serket dropped Lucy's limp body. The Celestial Wizard's stomach was bruised blue where the scorpion stung her.
"Ice-Make: Mammoth!" The primordial creature reared on its legs and stomped towards Rufus, who simply put his fingers to his forehead.
"Memory-Make: Tears of the Flame Emperor!" An endless volley of fireballs attacked Lyon and his creation. The ice golem melted easily, but Lyon held his ground.
Laxus managed to find Orga, who stood back with black lightning crackling around his body. "Black lightning, huh?"
"You already know from last time—my magic kills gods," Orga sneered.
"Killing gods is nothing compared to killing fairies," Laxus smirked.
"Is that so?" Orga reached behind the boulder he stood upon and hoisted an unconscious Freed into the air. "This your guy?"
"Freed!"
Sabertooth 67P
"Prepare to bow, fairy."
"In your nonexistent dreams, tiger."
Erza wandered around until she reached a clearing. Footfalls from behind rushed towards her. The female knight turned around and saw Kagura charging at her with her hand on Archenemy.
"There's the stadium!" Sherry said as they neared the stairway.
No sooner did those words leave her lips did a man on a motorbike round the corner. In the process, he threw off another man dressed in expensive clothes.
"Hey!" But the rider payed no mind as he sped off, leaning slightly with an outstretched arm and grabbed Niebel, who held the cocooned lacrima.
"Niebel!" Glacia cried, breaking her promise to keep silent. The Ice Dragon Slayer extended an arm out to his mentor and Glacia did the same. It was like the two could reach for each other's hands from that distance.
Instantly, a gloved hand grabbed her arm and pulled her on another motorbike. This time the rider was a woman, given the black string bikini top she wore under the navy trench coat. Glacia couldn't help but notice the symbol of Mermaid Heel on the woman's arm.
Unnoticed by the two, parts of the back of Glacia's neck darkened until an insignia identical to this woman's in all but color appeared.
"Hold on!" The woman said under the helmet. She revved up the engine and sped after the rider who abducted Niebel.
"Who were those two?" Sherry wondered as the Lamia Scale duo went off in pursuit. The riders had gone off in the direction of the stairway. However, they were nowhere to be seen.
"The one that grabbed Niebel must have been Jigumo," Dobengal said, climbing the stairs. "But Glacia's safe. That woman is part of Mermaid—" He stopped abruptly.
"Yeah, Glacia's safe with that Mermaid Heel rider—" Sherry turned her head and confusion filled her. Her guild mate who was just behind her vanished.
"Ladies and gents, the first five substitutes have arrived at the scene!" Chapati exclaimed.
A magic circle appeared in front of Imperial Snow's beacon, and a motorcycle sped out of it. "Presenting Imperial Snow's Jigumo and Niebel!" The beacon exploded, having served its purpose.
"Hey!" After devouring the flames from the explosion, Natsu ran after the vehicle. "Get back here, Ice Dragon brat!"
"Oof..." Niebel was tinged green; Jigumo noticed this and chuckled. "Right, you get sick on vehicles, Nieb." Spikes formed along the wheels, allowing traction and better steering. At the same time, dirt was tossed into the air.
"Ugh!" The ninja landed roughly on the ground.
"Hey, welcome back!" Yuka greeted, extending a hand to pull his team mate up.
"Where the hell were you?" Ooba screamed.
"Like Obaba said."
"Just...tied up."
"And from the lovely mermaid sea—" The motorcycle holding the mysterious rider and Glacia burst from the magic circle gate.
"Put these on!" The woman under the helmet produced a pair of blue-tinted sunglasses from her pocket and handed them back to Glacia.
She recognized them instantly. "My sunglasses!" Glacia put them on quickly. As they sped off, Glacia's eyes locked with Risley's for a moment. The gravity mage didn't uncover her disguise, and the former Dragon Slayer almost didn't recognize the slim woman. "Risley?" she said aloud.
The same spikes that lined Jigumo's tires appeared on the female rider's tires too. With the sunglasses, dirt was unable to get into Glacia's eyes.
"Uh...Who were those two?" Chapati asked.
"They bore the symbol of Mermaid Heel; otherwise, how could they have gotten in?" Yajima pointed out.
"But the other looked like a boy," Ooba complained.
"Cross-dressing, maybe?" Chapati suggested.
"It's not too hard to put a ponytail into a hat like that," Yajima added in agreement.
Vóreia gasped. The 'boy' who rode with the female motorbike rider looked a lot like Niebel. But Niebel was with Jigumo, motion sick and holding a cocoon.
"It can't be..." Vóreia saw the mark of Mermaid Heel on the 'boy's' neck; on the same location and in the same color as Glacia's. And it's not too hard to put a ponytail into a hat like that, she thought, repeating Yajima's words.
"Shadow Dragon's Roar!" Dobengal leaped into the air as a violent burst of shadows shot at him. He reappeared seconds later on top of a boulder. "Rogue."
"There you are, ninja." From a dead tree's shadow, Rogue rose out of it, glaring at the ex-saber. "You still have the audacity to live?"
"I'm allowed more freedom than I would have had if I stayed," Dobengal replied.
"That's just like you, to run away then worm your way back."
"It's better than being cooped up like a caged tiger. The closest thing to freedom is just a little stroll out of the cage."
"Except you managed to break free—and you took Glacia away while you were at it," Rogue interjected.
"...You love her that much, don't you? Then you knew, just by looking at Glacia's eyes, the pain and misery that was there?"
"Oh, shut up!" The ninja vanished as curved shadows diced the boulder where he stood, before he reappeared under Rogue. Not wasting anytime, he kicked the Shadow Dragon Slayer's chin. But Rogue also caught Dobengal's ankle. "What right do you have to say Glacia's name? You're the one who murdered her in the first place!"
The ground underneath the two erupted; two pincers grabbed the two men by their ankles and hoisted them into the air. The golden scorpion rose from the dirt; on her back was Sasori, who sat back and watched the two dangle in amusement. "Ah, nothing like a fight between two guys who love the same girl to start it off. Mind if I cut in?" he asked.
Elsewhere, Laxus and Orga clashed, Lightning Dragon versus Lightning God.
"Looks like you're not all bark," Orga said.
"Where'd all that big talk go?" Laxus teased.
Orga got into a fighting stance. "I wonder..."
Laxus readied himself and snorted.
A pair of sandaled feet approached the lightning mages. "Well, well...Looks like I stumbled across a couple of heavy-weights." Jura stood before them; the two could practically feel his magic radiating from his body. "Mind if I join in? It's been quite a while since I've been able to let loose."
Orga froze in shock. "Jura of the Ten Saints!"
"Finally..." Laxus said. "I get to butt heads with a true beast."
Lyon wiped most of the sweat off his brow. "Not bad...for a guy who can't lift a finger for himself."
Rufus glowered at him. "Your magic...It's recorded in my memories. It's useless against me."
"Last year...I defeated an Ice Dragon Slayer. I bent Glacia's ice to my will. Doesn't that prove I surpassed the boundary between us?" Lyon reminded.
"Someone like you could never hope to match Sabertooth," Rufus said dismissively.
"Lyon, you bastard!" Lyon looked up in time to see Gray land beside him.
"Not you again," Rufus muttered under his breath.
"I'm kicking this guy's ass again!" Gray declared. "Stay out of it!"
A vein popped. "And WHY should I? I'm not letting Fairy Tail hog all the glory again! Let the others have screen time, so back off!" Lyon roared.
Rufus sighed tiredly. "As I still remembered, you two are such bores."
Meanwhile, Kagura and Erza fought each other with their blades. Kagura's Archenemy remained unsheathed. Erza ducked under a swing, Kagura moved out of the way and blocked Erza's slash with her blade. She's this strong even without unsheathing her sword, Erza thought.
A wormhole opened between the female swordsmen and two hands covered their faces. As they were pushed away, Minerva materialized from the wormhole.
"Why don't we make this a threesome?" Minerva suggested with a smirk.
"Minerva has entered the fray! All over the battlefield, it's a battle royale! Three-way battles have popped up like dandelions!"
"A chain reaction, you could say," Yajima said, "starting with those three men."
"Indeed, but among the three warriors, who will win? The gladiator of Imperial Snow; the ninja of Lamia Scale; or the knight of Sabertooth?"
"It's obviously Lamia, you dolt!" Obaba scolded.