Of The Spark And Heart
Part 1
Chapter 16
It was so confusing and frustrating. This lack of liveliness was unnerving and it made her heart twist in what she felt was concern. Should he be this cold? His monitors rang on steady and the low, the beat of what she'd learned as his spark thumping on. It was such a deep sound that it was more felt than heard. It was hard to tell if what she was laying on was just steel or his hand, but every so often she would check, just in case. All three of the others had left, leaving her alone just as she'd wished to be. Long ago, she'd lost count of how many times she found herself tracing the designs across his palm, breathing in turn with each stroke of her finger. The pumps pulsed on in a dull ballad of air and came into a creaking rhythm with his broken vents.
Fera blinked and shifted her head on her arm. Her back, hips, and shoulder were all stiff, but she didn't mind. A shiver racked her spine as the coldness of his hand sapped the warmth from her. Goosebumps covered her pale skin and the hair on the back of her neck rose. The hair she kept back in a ponytail was let loose to help keep her body heat. But she might as well have placed a blanket full of holes over herself. Solas never moved, never twitched or jerked, and he certainly never talked in his sleep. It was as if he were dead.
However, those same monitors said differently and were the only things signifying his life at that moment. It was the only thing that kept that crushing denial away- the black abyss she'd felt herself falling into the moment she'd read those words on that report. The sheer amount of pain she had gotten from that scare had both surprised and confused her all at the same time. Why had she been so broken? Was it the debt?
"Why don't you wake up?" she murmured to no one. Blue-eyes-turned-icy flicked up and Fera rolled over, curling into the fetal position as she face Sol's body. "Actually, you might want to stay asleep because I'm going to kick your metal butt when you do wake." she should have softly laughed at this, but no smile appeared on her lips and no chuckles left her body. Her arms came around and she grabbed her knees, holding them close as yet another shiver shook her.
"You never told me why I was here. Or why you're my Guardian." she slowly lifted her chin and scanned the mountain of metal that was his shoulder. His face was hidden behind, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to see it. "I know I'm here for a reason. But you're the only one who can tell me why, except for Optimus Prime. But he would never tell me." she tucked her chin close to her chest and her necklace pinched her skin. Although Prime was a very honest being, Fera knew that he wouldn't tell her something if he thought it was "for her own good". It was scary to think about just how much he was hiding from her. Fera rubbed her shins and sighed, thinking deeply. How long would he be asleep for? Days? Months? Years? Those last few moments with him could be their last exchange.
But Optimus had said that they would try to revive him after Sol got his armoring back. Maybe that would help. Or not. Optimus had also mentioned risks. "You big, stupid, jerk." Fera seethed through clenched teeth. How dare he make her worry so much? How dare he surrender himself in her honor? "I never asked you to sacrifice yourself for me like that. You would still be awake right now if you'd just left us." she blinked back tears and swallowed the painful lump.
Stupid pride. Stupid loyalty. Stupid death. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
If Skywarp had just left Solas alone and had taken her as he wanted, then would Sol still be awake?
No, no he wouldn't, she told herself sternly. Skywarp is a Decepticon and would have shot him anyway. They must see killings as honorable gain. Of course, she had no right to judge since every experience she'd had with them so far had been nothing but bad. Maybe there was good to them. But for now, all she would see them as was nothing more than murdering scum. Solas would say the same and that realization almost made her laugh. It was a little concerning to see just how much they were alike, but it was also kind of interesting. Fights would break out between the both of them, but they always ended up getting over their tiffs. Fera clasped her hands together close to her throat and she set her chin over them. What happened to him if he was permanently affected by this revival? Would he still be her Guardian? Would he still be...him?
Fera began to wonder if Cybertronians could be mentally damaged like humans could. Would he be put through limited mobility or lose functions in his brain? Did he even have a brain? She roughly sighed and completely wiped her mind clear before she became overwhelmed. So many questions and so little answers. Ratchet didn't tell her anything unless she asked; Optimus was as seclusive as they came; Hound and Wheeljack weren't familiar enough that she could go to; Bumblebee couldn't talk correctly, and neither Epps nor Marks would tell her anything involving their jobs. Solas wouldn't care to tell her the simpler questions and he was so laid back about it...until she made a seemingly idiotic mistake or asked some strange question.
The sound of the door echoed through the silence and Fera blew through her nose, closing her eyes. Ratchet would surely be here to check up on his patient. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep...
"Here you are."
Fera's eyes snapped open and she listened. That wasn't Ratchet's voice. Sarah. "I see you've taken my advice." she went on. Her footsteps could be heard to clap across the floor as she came closer. Fera rolled over and got up on her elbows, peering over the lip of the table. Her mother was walking in, but she wasn't alone. Fera lowered herself back on her side as Ratchet stepped slowly besides her mother. "Yeah, I did. I realized you were right and I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't come visit him at least once." she said simply, watching between the two.
If past experiences were anything to go by, then Fera could confidently guess that they were up to something. Fera saw her mother look up at Ratchet and then back to her. "How is he?" she asked. Confused, Fera knitted her eyebrows and studied her before answering. "The same. What's going on?" she asked, watching the pair as they came to a stop. Sarah locked her hands before her almost nervously and Ratchet continued to watch the small teen. "Fera, nothing is going on." Sarah assured all too calmly. Fera darted her eyes back to her mother and she scanned the truth in her expression, responding, "I'm not stupid enough to not realize that something isn't right. If you have something to say, say it."
The mech made a move before Sarah could speak, taking a few steps closer. "Solas is in need of a major surgery involving his spinal relay. He is scheduled for that operation today." he stated simply. This mech had no sense of conservation towards emotion. Fera drew herself to her hands and she screw her eyebrows again. "What does that mean?" she asked.
"It's like the spinal cord Fera." Sarah said before Ratchet could answer. Ratchet raised a hand and gave a half shrug, "Yes I guess that is sufficiently close." he agreed. Fera felt her stomach was full of butterflies and she rubbed her arm. "Is it safe?" she questioned, looking between them both. Since her mother had answered a few times, she wondered if the woman knew more than she let off. Ratchet must have went to her for help or else it would just be himself standing before her.
"Yes, it is a very controlled operation. However, his spark complicates the surgery and may become unstable during the process. Nonetheless, this will definitely aid his recovery and may even bring him from his comatose status." Ratchet explained. Sarah nodded and watched Fera anxiously, waiting for a reaction. Fera didn't know what to think- whether she should be scared for Sol, or excited that this could heal him. She would just have to wait. But Ratchet and her mother telling this to her could only mean that they were planning something. When Fera suddenly understood, her words were soft, "And you want me to leave." she assumed. Ratchet just looked away and Sarah took a few hurried steps forward. "Please understand Fera." she pleaded gently. "Ratchet needs all the concentration he can get and you probably won't like what you see."
Fera dropped her head and she looked down on Sol's palm. She traced on finger across the surface and was quiet for about a minute before she spoke.
"Ok."
Bringing herself to her knees, Fera took deep breaths of the thick air to keep her head from swimming. She then stood and tried as best she could not to sway as she walked carefully over his fingers and across the silver table.
Ratchet was able to lower to her to the floor, where she then turned and watched him stand. "Make sure he didn't survive for nothing." her voice was firm and solid, her eyes boring into Ratchet's. He simply just gave a dip of the head, laying a hand on the table as he answered, "I wouldn't think of it."
Now Fera wasn't a crybaby about confusing things, but she certainly never liked to take information without logical evidence. Ratchet was a very logical mech, which is why she found herself coming to like him. There was a point however she felt like his words were hiding beneath them, an explanation just waiting to be told. Her mother was also a truthful, intelligent person, meaning she was very delightful to have around. But she would also try taking over something if she felt someone wasn't doing things correctly or stretching her patience particularly long. Now, she was just taking one of her personalities of gentle comforting and pulling it into a whole new level.
As Fera was led out of the room, her mother and her were suddenly bombarded with nurses and attentive people that she believed received pay just to annoy the crap out of her. Her mother was handed a blanket, which she laid over Fera's shoulders. "Honey, are you ok?" she murmured. Fera felt could barely move, they were so crowded. "I'm fine mom." she grumbled. She wasn't glass! She shrugged the blanket on her shoulders as her mother set her hands on them. "We have some painkillers waiting in the room." one of the nurses informed them. "And a lunch, I'm told."
A tight twist of Fera's stomach almost sent her walking ahead of the claustrophobic group, but her hunger was soon thwarted by the constant hovering of the people. "I'm ok, really." she assured again with a hint of annoyance. Sarah backed off slightly, but then there was just another nurse to take her place. Fera felt her steps land heavily on the concrete floor as she nearly stomped on the nurse's feet. She wanted to yell her frustrations, but she knew that wouldn't be appropriate. She found herself almost desperately searching for some familiar face. Specifically, she was looking for Bumblebee, who would be more than happy to take her for a drive.
It was beginning to become a suspicious occurrence happening recently than just concern for her safety. She was on lockdown. That much was known. Her mother was allowed to take small drives with the Autobots, but apparently, Fera wasn't. She'd known this would happen the moment she'd been taken here, but did they have to lock her in a luxury prison? Sure, she had almost complete access to the base, but what could she get into? There was an immediate sense of dread when she realized just what would happen to her once she was taken to the main base in Washington. The metal-detectors hidden in the doorframes were enough to deal with already.
"Mom, please." she rolled her shoulders, but her mother just readjusted the blanket back, mistaking her daughter's movement for that of cold. "Stop." she said. Sarah quit her fussing, but the nurses continued their absolutely irritating chatter. The air was full of their constant talking and nonstop questions. Fera's head pulsed with an oncoming headache and she closed her eyes. "Doctor Shelby will want to check on you." one of them said.
"How is your side, is it healing nicely?"
"We should be there shortly, do you need assistance?"
"You look cold, here take another blanket."
"Are you in pain? I have some painkillers here."
"Sarah, could you move a little?"
"Do you have a fever? Here, let me check."
That nurse came up and pressed the back of her hand on Fera's face, checking her temperature. Finally having enough, Fera jerked away and threw off the blanket, letting the fabric flutter to the ground. "Could you stop?!" she demanded angrily. Each face froze and the bodies around her paused. Eyes sat opened for longer than was necessary and hands snapped back close. Fera felt the heat rising in her body to pool deep in her stomach and then rise once more on the arch of her ears, turning them a rosy hot-pink. Sarah moved her hands away and wisely took a step back. Fera threw her hands up and shook her head, her long dirty blonde hair whipping around her face. "For the love of- can you all just leave me alone?!" she slapped her hands back against her body and flicked her eyes between each face.
As the stunned silence drew on, Fera blew hot air from her lips and she stalked forward, slipping through the nurses. She didn't want to be fussed over. She didn't want to go talk with her mother. She didn't want to eat stupid, tasteless slop they called food here, and she certainly didn't want a check up. Storms of her angry feet echoed through the halls and bounced back with a listless, empty sound. Soldiers shouldered past her and a few of them actually displayed a reaction to her rudeness. But she blocked them all out in her blind irritation.
One more person, and she was blowing up.
It had been a fairly good amount of time since she had truly blown on a person. The last lucky participant for her boiling words had poked the bear inside of her, getting nothing but blasted statements best left for someplace far away from small children. That had been some years ago, and that person had been a bully at school pestering her about 'missing her daddy'. A fight almost happened, but she had stormed out before she allowed herself to throw the first punch. The bully on the other hand, never bothered her again. Score one for the hot-head.
"Fricken' nurses always hovering over me like I'm a baby." she mumbled under her breath. "Can I have one moment of peace? Please? No, no I can't. Why?" she lifted her hands in the air and continued her hurried, yet indefinite, walk. "Because I'm living in a base with a bunch of giant aleins, military letdowns, and a set of high school finals I haven't even studied for." a few passing forms passed her in confusion and gave her a funny look, but to her, they might as well of not been there. Her personal, one-sided conversation carried on in her head as she ground her teeth together and tried calming her stressful dramatics.
"And I can't even go outside- I feel like a fricken' monkey!" she stomped past one of the slim halls that led to an underground exit and carried on to who-knows-where. "And now Sol maybe messed up, I can't get a word in edgewise with any officials, and the director of the CIA has personally placed me on his hate list!" a fake smile spread across her lips and she huffed a short laugh. "Perfect! My life is just a big bowl of Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs." the sick humor she used was lost behind her like a feather in the wind. A hand yanked back through her hair and her roots complained from the rough treatment. She dared anyone to come and try taking her back to the medical room now. They would be needing a lot of muscle and a lot of sedatives.
A parched throat burned with her searing breath and her stomach rumbled pitifully. No time for eating, because my anger is apparently more important than bodily need, she thought grumpily. Her hand slipped from her hair and swung by her side. Her steps had slowed, but her mind hadn't taken a breath yet. "Let me get my hands on someone, I swear-" she hissed to herself. The words never left her lips as she blindly ran straight into a very hard and very irritating surface. Fera sucked in a sharp breath as her nose hit painfully against the wall of steel and her speed at impact knocked the breath from her. She'd been stunned as her legs bent and the wind whistled through her ear as she fell straight back on her butt.
Her body bounced once and she stopped, her spine jolting from the sudden contact. Growling in both pain and irritation, Fera rolled to her hip and took a few deeper intakes for her lungs before raising her agitated face. Expecting the wall to be one of the Autobot, Fera glared before her and aimed a poisonous look to anyone in her way. It wasn't a 'Bot, which surprised her.
It was a door.
Completely and utterly burning with embarrassment, Fera snapped her head around to make sure no one was around. She was alone, which gained a relieved sigh. Now she could focus on just where she had come to and hopefully where she had ended up would lessen her annoyed mood. It was a medical hall, given away by the sight of the hanging sign just below the top of the hallway entrance. But this wasn't the human medical hall- she could tell by the doors. Just where had she brought herself? Looking around wouldn't help until she looked to the door itself. It was exactly the same as the others, with a boring silver face and black seams were the different plates locked together. There was a box-shaped object hanging off the wall about twenty feet up, that she guessed was the lock pad.
And when her eyes traveled back down, she saw another, smaller device made for the human use. Fera lifted herself to her feet and rubbed an arm over her chilled skin as she approached the screen and pad. It was a newer device that she'd never seen before. It looked a lot like a futuristic ATM, with a flat black screen and a protruding keypad dashboard from the wall. One arm lifted and her fingers hovered over the board uncertainly. She had the mass override code, but would it work? Where was she anyway?
She pressed the first key and she gasped, jerking her hands back. All her past anger melted away and she scanned her eyes over the newly alit screen. Awe plastered itself on her face as she looked over the unfamiliar information and boxes flurried over her view. It wanted so much information she didn't know, but then one slot caught her attention. It was the entrance access box, specifically made for the override code. Fera smirked at the simplicity and she used the keys on the board to navigate the focus to that point before she began entering the code. The screen paused for only a few seconds before it beeped and went green.
The hiss of the door caught her ear and Fera turned to it, walking on without a second thought. The bars of the door separated and any secondary doors opened. Anything inside must have been extremely important if they were putting so much insurance in the entrance. What are they hiding? she wondered. As the metal sheets passed, light filtered from inside and she blinked to let her eyes adjust. Taking a few steps, she innocently wandered through and examined around her.
However, she didn't make it past three steps, for she froze at the door like her blood had instantly become ice. Of all the places she could have ended up, she came here. Granted, she didn't even know where she'd been headed, but she sure didn't intend for it to be this place.
Sitting on the metal bed, with smiles on their faces, was Optimus Prime and Rethalia Prime. Rethalia was sitting Indian-style on the bed, facing her sparkmate while he hung one leg off the side, his other laying atop the berth. His eyes focused down, Rethalia's face following his own. They were watching his open hands, something settled in his grasp. Following their gazes, Fera's own eyes opened wide as she saw what lay there.
Sitting up, legs crossed and little arms placed between their legs, was a miniature Cybertronian. Its eyes were a bright blue, much like Optimus'. A small set of armor was laid over their body, painted a deep sapphire-blue. Its small hands were slim and incredibly small, its face set in a cute baby-like stature.
The small creature was small enough that they barely took up Optimus' hands, seeming so small compared to the giant being that he could just close his hands and simply break her. Rethalia and Optimus were wearing such proud and loving smiles on their faces that Fera's heart dropped. Horror settled over her as she realized who that little being was and just what Fera had interrupted. There was by no shadow of a doubt, that that small one was their child. Their family. This was their private moment. And Fera had barged into it.
The sharp gasp that had come from her had gained an instantaneous reaction. Optimus shielded the creature from view by moving his massive hands over his child. Rethalia whipped her head around and jumped to her feet, snapping her head in Fera's direction. The child was gripped close to Optimus' chest and held at and angle that would protectively cover her. Fera hiccupped and fell back when she saw Rethalia's guns appear from her out of nowhere, humming lowly with the energy inside. Fera's hand slipped across the floor and a random piece of sharp material slit into her skin, gaining a yelp from the form on the floor.
Realization crossed both the Cybertronians' faces and they relaxed. Optimus regained his composure, but kept his hands closed as he watched her. Rethalia seemed more concerned about the human's yipe of pain and she stepped closer. Fera brought her hand up and winced as she cupped it, looking down to see the damage. A small shard of glass had pierced her skin and was now embedded in her palm, right below her thumb. A breath sucked in through clenched teeth and she winced when she gently prodded the area.
"Fera, I nearly killed you." Rethalia said gently, more concerned than scolding.
Fera held her hand close as she looked up to see the fembot on one knee with her hand to Fera's side, her body leaning down close so she could get nearer. "I-I'm so sorry." she stuttered, her blood starting to seep into her enclosed fingers. Rethalia caught sight of the wound and she knitted her metal eyebrows. Fera shook her head and scrambled to her feet, nearly falling back down with the numbness there. She felt weak in her limbs, the shock of the situation settling in. Rethalia followed Fera's hurried movements as she shakily got to her feet and began backing up. "I'm so s-sorry."
Cupping an injured and bleeding hand to her chest, Fera turned and sprinted out of the room, ignoring the calling hand that Rethalia lifted after her. The worried gaze of her eyes stained Fera's memory and the concern beneath that pink and black helmet seemed far too good for her. She shook her head and slipped outside the door, finding herself standing in the hallway again. Her knees wobbled threateningly and she took steady, long breaths to keep herself from having a panic attack. A vertigo sensation caused her head to swim and Fera jerked her head once to try clearing it.
What had she just seen? This question burned into her mind as she felt her body leaning back and aiming to fall. She stepped backwards a few times and found herself up against the wall between the doors and the key board, her spine hitting dully against the surface. She slid down and let her bottom hit the floor, her knees coming close to her chest. Her left hand sit cupped in her right as it bled on and on. Too caught up in everything to focus correctly, Fera just stared at her hand as if she were looking into something else.
But then her instincts kicked in and her stupidity came flooding into her. She ripped off a small length of her shirt and she set it on her knee. She then pressed the injured limb hard against her stomach as she prepared to remove the glass. Her thumb and index finger slowly approached and she tried calming her heaving chest as she fought for a good air. "Come on." she hissed. Her fingers finally pinched the glass and the burning sensation returned. Pins and needles, hot as the sun, stabbed her hand and shot up her arm. Stifling a cry, Fera caught herself asking how such a small piece of glass would cause so much irritation. The air was cold against the sheen on her exposed neck, which her hair brushed as she angled her head down.
Again she grabbed the glass, and again the pain roared through her veins. But she got over it in her mere second try, firmly grabbing the glass and pulling. Her breathing escalated and her muscles tensed. As the glass slowly became removed from her palm, her blood showed coating the face. If she weren't so concentrated on removing the obscurity, she would be horrified. Her teeth gripped so hard that any more pressure, and they would crack.
But the object abruptly popped from her skin, getting a pain-induced hitch of her body. Tossing the glass across the ground, it skidded on the floor and came to a streaking stop a few feet away. The rag was then wrapped around the wound and tied firmly in place. Light thuds came from beside her, but Fera focused on calming her racing heart then seeing who it was. Her injured hand lay loose in her lap and her free hand was left limp at her side, the back of it sitting against the cold floor.
"Fera?" it was the smooth and calming voice of Rethalia Prime as she slowly walked outside the door. "Down here." Fera called, not even looking up. The doors shut and Rethalia came around to stand before her. Fera did lift her head this time, seeing the worried expression of the fembot. "Are you alright? You ran before I could see your hand." she said softly, shifting on her feet and sitting before Fera. The fembot sat with her back perfectly straight and her hands clasped on her ankles. Perfect etiquette. "Let me see your wound." she ordered sternly.
Hesitance stopped Fera's movements until she saw the patience in Rethalia's gaze. She could wait if she wanted to. But reluctantly, she lifted her hand anyway and showed the amateurish work to the Prime. Rethalia raised her own fingers and held Fera's hand. "You did well administering proper first-aid." she commented, bringing her hand away. Fera tucked hers close again and watched the fembot. "But then there is the issue of how you suddenly left during your...unexpected visit." she began. Fera ducked her head as if she was being yelled at, not spoken so gently to. "I'm so sorry Retha-" she started her apology, but Rethalia's raised hand stopped her.
"No, do not apologize. I just wish for an explanation. I do enjoy your company Fera, however, from now on you must inform me prior to your appointments." she seemed to be trying to scold Fera, but this was by far probably the gentlest lecture she had ever had. That didn't mean it didn't sting. The way things were being said was so cool and collected that it was frightening to find that Fera couldn't even tell what Rethalia was feeling, angry or other. Fera absentmindedly moved her hand to draw through her hair, but that ended up being her injured one, causing her to wince.
Heat flushed her ears and she let her head thump back against the wall. Her eyes traveled to the ceiling, where florescent lights buzzed on and gave off an eggshell-white color. "I didn't mean to barge in on you guys." she said, looking back down to catch the eyes of the fembot. Rethalia just blinked, seeming to study her. "You merely entered, but under unforeseen consequences. Why had you come here originally?" she asked. Fera rolled her head to the side and looked down the cool hallway. It seemed like this part of the base was absolutely abandoned today, seeing as no life could be noticed walking the halls. Not even the janitors who sometimes could be seen around were making one of their rare appearances. "I actually didn't know where I was going." she admitted finally.
Fera's hand pulsed hotly and she raised her free arm to cover the wound. Maybe if she just barely pressed it...nope, nope that didn't work. She grimaced and immediately removed her fingers. "Unfortunately, I don't understand." Rethalia carried on, urging Fera to continue. Fera blew a long breath from her lips and a tight zing ran up her arm. "I was angry." it was like she expected the Prime to understand, which of course, she wouldn't. But for some reason, Fera felt as though because they both generally were of the same gender -based on their capabilities-, Rethalia would be able to understand Fera's hints. Rethalia simply knitted the ridges above her eyes and she leaned forward slightly. "And you proceeded to permit yourself to our quarters because you were in discontent?" the obviously confused fembot attempted. Fera hid her pain and tried her best to think everything over. Right now, she just wanted to get to her bed and settle her aching body in for a nap. If she had the time, she could sketch something up. Giving a half grin, she said, "Something like that." her fingers were felt burning hot, the skin pink. An increase of swelling could be felt as her body tried to heal itself.
Another cold wind passed through the empty hall and Fera gave a quick shudder, pulling further into herself as her overly hot skin abruptly cooled. The breeze felt nice on her feverish hand and neck, but her skin on her arms and legs began to prickle. "Do you mind explaining?" Rethalia pressed, catching Fera's attention again. Fera wiggled closer to herself until her knees nearly pressed against her chest. Blue eyes roamed everywhere but the eyes of the Prime and she let a slow breath flow from her nose. Silence dragged on as Rethalia refused to speak and allowed Fera the time she needed. Why was she so patient?! Couldn't she just get over the conversation and be done with it? Talking about things didn't always help...
"I got angry at a few people." Fera conceded reluctantly. As much as she could, she would hide what was the worst of the situation. Rethalia didn't need to know the details. However, Rethalia was turning out to be a curious Cybertronian. "Whom I may ask?" the Prime went on. Fera trained her eyes on the ground to avoid eye contact. The noise of the lights above them as they buzzed on was the only sound for about a minute or so. "Some nurses. And my mom." her voice was low, but not enough so that Rethalia hadn't heard.
"They were trying to assist you, I assume." she said. Fera nodded and hugged her knees.
"They talked so much, and hovered over me like I was some kind of...of baby. I got overwhelmed." the last part was only a muttering.
Rethalia shifted and placed her hands on her knees instead, studying Fera. The burning feeling in her scalp told her she was being watched. Expectancy leaked from the enormous form before Fera and she just waited. What more did she want? A full out life-confessional session? "I understand your view, however is it maybe their concern for you that they committed such attention to you?" Rethalia suggested. Fera looked up from her knees and she blinked, lifting her mouth so she could speak, "Yeah, I got that part. So much concern. Too much actually. That's where the overwhelmed part comes in. It was just too much." she then continued to pout.
"They are worried."
"Got that one. Check."
"And you became agitated of this anxiety involving your wellbeing?"
"Exactly."
"I'm afraid that doesn't make sense."
"Think of it this way: has Ratchet ever forced you to do something you really don't feel up to right at that moment? Like a checkup or something?"
"Yes."
"And you became irritated about that?"
"Partially, however I knew it was for the best I cooperate."
"But you still felt hovered over unnecessarily?"
There was a slight pause from the fembot, but then she slid her hands closer together. "Yes, I did." she admitted. Fera felt relieved in knowing she wouldn't have to go into more explanations. "And I felt the same way. Just with everything going on around me plus those medical people always checking on me, and not to mention my mom..." she set her chin on her knees, "it just gets to be a little much." her words trailed off and Rethalia didn't immediately respond. Calmness filled the space between them and Fera felt her eyelids growing heavier with the lack of means to stay awake and interact. She really began to go into thought about her actions and what they may have caused. Her mother must be really worried or saddened by her short temper tantrum and the nurses must be getting a good lecture by none other than Terra herself.
Another cool wind brushed over Fera and she felt the skin on her spine raise. "It's chilly in here." she commented, rubbing her legs and raising her head. She looked up just in time to see Rethalia lift her head and study the ceiling, as if she were studying the unseen clouds. "It is raining. The drop in temperature dramatically changed the levels inside the surrounding area and therefore it seems to have gained a slight dip in sufferable conditions in the confines of our generally areas." she lowered her chin and looked down at Fera, who was laying her head on her hands. "You can tell all that from here?" to think that Rethalia could sense what was going on outside just added to the wonders of these magnificent beings.
I wish I could go outside to see myself, she thought sadly. I could really use a good breath of fresh air and a natural shower. "Yes. Cybertronian bodies, dependent on how they are constructed, have a keen ability on measuring the pressures and conditions around us. It assisted us in living on Cybertron and aided us in situations such as those dangerous or beneficial to us." the Prime meant well, but Fera couldn't help zoning out for half of the sentence. "Would you tell me what...nevermind." she stopped herself and looked away from Rethalia's curious gaze. "Continue." Rethalia insisted. Fera stapled her fingers into her legs and she debated on whether the issue was too personal or not.
"What was that little thing in there- the thing Optimus was holding. Was that your baby?"
Not all too surprisingly, Rethalia paused and Fera was left to sit in an empty silence until this creature before her would speak. Rethalia sighed, or what was her equivalent of it, and brought her fingers together to curl into a locked position. "That, my young comrade, was what a Cybertronian would call a 'sparkling'." there was a stiffness in her posture that made Fera uncomfortable. Her eyes never wavered from Fera's, whose did tend to wander much more often. The term of a 'sparkling' was already familiar to her, yet the deeper detailing was not.
"It is what you would consider, I find, as an 'infant' or 'toddler' in your species. And yes, Optimus and myself are her creators."
Fera's eyes widened and she now held the fembot's gaze more confidently. Rethalia said it was a her baby! And it was a girl! "Creators? Does that mean you built her? What's her name? How old is she? Does she speak? How was she even made? Does that mean Cybertronian's can get pregnant? For how long?" her ramblings could have gone on longer if Rethalia hadn't put up her hands in attempts to rein in Fera's sudden excitement. "Calm yourself Fera, I may answer your inquiries one at a time." she chuckled and the teen before her calmed down and sat with her legs crossed. So many thoughts and new questions swirled around Fera's mind all at once. Optimus, a father? With a baby no less. The images of their encounter with the drone filled her mind and Fera roughly shoved that away, instead mulling over the fact that Optimus was cuddling up to his small child just in the next room.
That very thought almost had the inner girly-girl coming out of Fera and she nearly got up and ran there to see them. But Rethalia's interest in answering her questions was a better option. Before she started their discussion, Fera couldn't hold back the picture of Optimus and Rethalia with their child, together. Curse her instinctive maternal whimsies. "What is a creator and how was she...well, made?" Fera began, starting easy. She had already asked this question of Solas, but hearing it from a fembot had to be a completely different experience. Rethalia thought about this for a moment before shifting herself and sitting slightly slouched. "There is two ways a sparkling can be created as far as Cybertronian knowledge goes." her traveling eyes found Fera's and Fera leaned forward, highly expectant. "Through the AllSpark, or uniting." the small, layered slips that made her eyelids came down and Fera shoved her hands into her lap, ignoring the whining of her hand.
"During spark creation, interfacing is required along with the uniting of sparks- so only bonded pairs may create spraklings. Interfacing is a simple concept that consists of the basic convey cable of the ordinary mech and the intake port of the fembot. The relay line is also involved, as the genetic codes and processes of each counterpart would be necessary for the creation of a sparkling." her voice was so calm and steady, but Fera couldn't help stirring slightly in discomfort. "I will not go into detail," Rethalia continued, causing a relieved, thank goodness, from Fera, "however, this is not the only way, as I said before. Ratchet would be better suited to explain this to you because of the concerning of the Cybertronian form, but I will attempt my best."
Fera made herself comfortable and tried blinking a few times to make it look like she wasn't staring. "Uniting is only possible through bonded sparks, thus through sparkmates like Optimus and myself." her hand came up and lightly pressed her fingertips to her chest. "Our sparks would be connected and all of ourselves would become the other. Difficult to explain as it is, it is put simply as we become each other. Every sense of ourselves is uploaded and concentrated to such a point that it becomes a sparkling." this statement was as simple as the fembot could seemingly make it, but Fera was still barely able to grasp it.
"So," she drug out the word, raising an eyebrow. "You guys don't get pregnant?"
Rethalia just laughed at this, seeing the humor in a completely serious question. When the chuckling ceased, Rethalia shook her head. "If you are referring to the containment of our young one while she develops such as your kind does, then no. Our kind is able to remove the sparkling from our holding capsules after a small amount of time." she laid an almost protective hand over her stomach and Fera's eyebrows raised in awe. "How old is she? And how long will you put her in your...um, holding capsule?" one eyebrow cocked in an attempt at the new term and Rethalia just smiled warmly.
"She is half past the stage she is in. Far past, actually. She will be upgraded into her new form soon. In your human equivalent of decacycles, she would be around nearly 400 years of age." Rethalia watched Fera's interested reaction as her mouth opened into an O shape and then closed. It was a strange look for Rethalia, but to Fera, it was a natural thing. So many new thoughts and questions peaked, but since Fera was apparently going to be locked inside for awhile, she might as well wait for a later time to delve any deeper into the topic of sparklings and other young Cybertronians. "Can I see her?" she asked, suddenly sitting straighter. Rethalia lifted herself as well and gained a disappointed look. Knowing what she was to say, Fera deflated and her shoulders sagged. Well darn. "I'm sorry, but Optimus is recharging with her." the Prime began to stand and Fera did as well, feeling far too small to be sitting before a giant. "It maybe best if you are attended to a medical professional at the moment." she noted, waiting for the smaller human to stand. Fera dusted off her legs and leaned against the wall as a wave of lightheadedness overcame her. It took a few moments to allow her to regain her normal feeling again and she pushed off of her support.
"I think you're right." she agreed. Rethalia could be seen to give a small grin at this. Fera drug her uninjured hand through her hair and took a step forward, tipping her head back to see. "I know you said I shouldn't apologize, but I feel like I have to. So sorry. Again." when the fembot opened her mouth, Fera raised a hand, taking her turn to interrupt. "It's a human thing." she explained bluntly. Rethalia didn't argue and Fera didn't press on the conversation. "I must return to my family. But I do expect your return to see my sparkling?" Rethalia guessed. If Fera didn't know better, she would have thought Rethalia had read her mind. But she couldn't do that...could she?
Fera just smiled and nodded, turning away and starting down the direction she had come. This conversation had distracted her from her anger over the disagreement between her and her mother, and that was a welcomed realization. But that would be long gone now that she thought about it. Not only would her mother be worried about who knows what she thought the argument was about, but would be interested in this little injury Fera had acquired. She dreaded every step she took through those maze-like halls of concrete. It was only 5 minutes into her walk that she suddenly slowed and looked around like an idiot in a supermarket. The problem was, she really didn't know where to go. In her blind rage, she had stomped her way through more halls and paths than she could remember. There were no helpful little maps like in the malls or any gift one she'd been given like at the local zoo.
Only a few people passed her and she thought about asking them for directions. Mentally, she gave a snort and thought about the strange looks she would receive. Such a strange question to have in a military facility. "Ok, I took straight, then a left...and then..." she trailed off and scanned the area for any tell-tail signs for where she was at. Wait. Wasn't the Autobot medical hall in the south and main wings? So she had to be in one of those. She definitely hadn't come far enough to be in the main wing of the base, so she had to be in the southern section. Problem solved. See how easy it is to figure something out when you just stop and think? knucklehead, she teased herself.
When she stepped forward, continuing to glance around her in hopes she would remember something, she once again walked smack dab into a big, solid, wall of metal. Fera snapped a sharp, and quite loud, curse before she hit the ground again.
"What the...can't I go anywhere today without crashing into something?!" she rubbed her bottom and lifted her head up to see exactly what she had crashed into. A big red Autobot had his back to her, his body twisted around and his arm raised so he could see behind him. Upon seeing Fera standing from the ground, Mirage turned and lowered himself so he was bending over. "My, you've a mouth, don't ya chika?" he laughed, seeing her disgruntled expression.
Shooting a most hot-headed glare at the humorous figure before her, Fera dully rubbed the wrapping on her hand with her other thumb. "And here I thought you would be on patrol again, not letting me just bump into you." she grumbled. Mirage gave a Bee-like shrug and stood, placing his hands on his hips. "I'm off duty señorita, so I have free time. But that doesn't explain why you're up and about. Finally had it with Doctor Shelby?" he asked. Fera sighed and shook her head, crossing her arms. "Sadly, I'm actually looking for her. I'm kinda lost." taking another look around, Fera returned her eyes back to the chuckling Mirage. "You are in the south wing. The main sector is that way." he turned and pointed down a wide, almost obvious path.
Fera almost felt embarrassed by this comment and she slowly lowered her arms, her ears glowing with heat. "Thanks." she muttered, hurrying past. "Hasta luego!" Mirage called after her retreating form. Not daring to turn around, Fera just raised her hand and flicked it once to show she'd heard his goodbye. What had he said? It had been some time since she'd taken her Spanish language class, but she was pretty sure that he'd said something like goodbye. Down a few more halls and through the main access door, Fera found herself back into the main part of the base and on her way to the medical area.
When she had arrived, it was clear that Terra wasn't particularly happy to see Fera with her hand as it was, but she said nothing along the lines of anger as she went to work. She'd made a comment about Fera's good instincts on wrapping up the wound and removing the object, but that was it. After she was done with her, Fera had three new stitches to show off and a bulky wrapping across her palm. Medication was already slathered over the new stitches, but they that would need to be done again every so often.
And yet through this, Doctor Shelby let her go. She was allowed to leave the medical room when she wanted as long as she was back before the designated lockdown time of the base. Which, by no surprise, was at 10 o'clock sharp. So, Fera returned to her increasingly permanent room and grabbed a soda from the secret stash Bee had brought her about a week before. It was a sweet notion to try and comfort her in her time of sadness and self-blame. It was a simple attempt at comfort, but the surgery snack was somehow effective in making her feel if only slightly better. The tab popped back and the fizz hissed and secreted frothy bubbles.
Fera made the leisured walk back to the bed and she dropped back her head, drinking deeply from the small can in her hand. The buzzing of the grape flavored, carbonated beverage slipped down her throat with a slight burn, but a nice aftertaste. Her drawing pad caught her eye and she picked it up, looking at it. A few pictures of normal things were in here: trees, flowers, animals, a few people, just normal everyday sketches. It was behind these that were the weird, alien drawings she had come up with; filling every page after that of the Arch with the Cybertronians all over the base.
One of her latest and yet unfinished drawings presented itself before her behind a curled back page she held. It was of Rethalia Prime, past her wounds and scratches that laced her armor, and past the pains and griefs she no doubt was feeling after the accident she became involved with. Just without the colorings, the rough lines of pencil and shadings masking her lithe frame created almost a work of literal art. She was a beautiful being, much more delicate and feminine then her mech counterparts. But she still held that strong air about her that couldn't be denied. She had said she'd been a commander like Optimus, and she showed it. The way she held herself put no doubt in Fera's mind.
Throwing back that last of her soda, Fera threw away the can and left her drawing pad on the bed, going of to fish around greedily for a second drink. Finding one, Fera opened it and walked outside through the halls. Bumblebee was in the main lobby, talking with Ratchet and flashing a cannon from his arm, the both of them fiddling with it in private. Fera turned and strolled out of the lobby and through the halls again, looking for something to do. The brief thought of visiting Sol came to mind, but that was placed aside for when she had more time and when he wasn't due for major surgery. If she was going there, then she would be there awhile anyway. Instead, she just aimlessly walked. She passed the hallway James had taken her through to the communications room and she paused, looking down the hall. Better not...she decided wisely.
The soda in Fera's hand lifted up and she moved on, taking another drink. The people in the base usually turned in early do to the fear of being locked in a dark, enclosed area. It was an oddly interesting idea to think of the possibilities of that situation. What happened to the last person who had been left in lockdown? Fera removed her can as she suddenly tried breathing while swallowing. A fit of coughs racked through her and she stopped for a moment, covering her mouth and jerking in turn with her body's rejection of her soda. When she could breathe again, Fera shook her head and swallowed before moving on. What was that about?
She had thought of something before she had coughed, but what was it? That strange spike in her heart had startled her...
Oh, right. She was focused on what she was going to do when Sol woke up. There wasn't a question of 'if' he would, but when. It was an intimidating and yet completely sensible question. If when he did wake up, what would be said? Fera suddenly became a lot more interested in swirling around the contents of her soda. He would try to play everything off of course. But the pain would be there. He would be distant too. At least, for awhile. And all these things were considering if he even did return to normal. Ratchet had made it clear that he could be permanently changed or even become a vegetable...if a Cybertronian could even become a vegetable.
Maybe this was all possible, maybe it wasn't, but it sure as hell wasn't fun to think about. The possibilities were endless with all of this, and it was constantly overwhelming. Her brain was bombarded nonstop with worries and hopes and laughable scenarios that could happen. It was a lot to take in after only arriving from your home and locked up for a month. There was an entire new race to learn about, and pretty much all forms of the species was present. The only thing that was missing now was a youngling, which Rethalia had mentioned her sparkling becoming soon.
All too quickly, her thoughts were ripped from her and so was her drink. It went flying across the room, its purplish liquids splattering all over the walls and floors. Fera was painfully jerked to the wall and pinned there, the wind knocked from her lungs. Her vision blurred and her head spun with the unexpected jolt. Her body became shocked with a piercing pain, including the stretching of her sensitive hand. There was an instant when her head had hit the wall, only to bounce back forward and let her stare dully into space. A buzzing numbness coursed through her, only to disappear a few seconds later. Slurred words perched on her lips and a few actually processed enough for her to say them: "What the...hell man?" she drawled, blinking and shaking her head. When the form came into focus, her shoulders slumped and her eyes widened.
Claws were surrounding her, encasing her in a metal deathtrap. Fera swallowed hard and slowly drew her eyes up, trying to see the holder. A silver plated arm reached further back and exposed a slightly smaller frame. Please be Sideswipe, please be Sideswipe, she begged silently. But when her eyes laid upon the cruel and unfamiliar face, she nearly screamed. Her heart skipped a beat and she pressed herself against harder against the wall. This was no Sideswipe. The mech had twin spikes standing from the sides of his helmet and another, smaller pair protruding from above his forehead. His chest was more V-shaped than that of the other Autobots, and his waist was skinnier as well. But he held those menacing and blood-curdling red eyes, his face set in a focused expression.
Oh crap, Fera thought, shrinking down. Maybe if she could just...
But the mech knew what she was attempting, and he closed the silver claws of his hand, trapping her and holding her up higher. This time, she did scream, but it was quickly cut off as the mech came within less than a foot of her face. "That is not a wise decision." he advised in a hissing, dark tone. Fera gulped and blinked, rearing her head back. The mech blinked and pulled away, tightening his grip. Fera grimaced and tried wriggling free, her actions of course in vain. "What do you want from me?!" she demanded, quite loudly. The Decepticon ignored her to look around, swinging himself to move forward in stealth. "Put me down, you mother-loving piece of crap mech!" she yelled, once again wrenching herself in attempts to get free. The 'Con jerked his hand once, throwing her before his face again.
"Silence Earthling." he commanded sharply. Fera merely doubled her efforts and she growled, narrowing her eyes. "Make me, you joke of a- ahh!" she cried out as he tightened his grip, squeezing every injury she had gotten since coming to the base. "Talking is not permitted." he stated, starting onward once again. He jogged down the hall and hid behind a wall, peeking around the other side before turning the corner. "Shove it, you oversized refrigerator!" she called, her tone strained. The mech threw his head from side to side, scanning the halls. When he began to move, Fera tried distraction over escape. "Hey, what's your problem anyway? You always pick up random strangers and kidnap them?" the mech ignored her again.
Looking around, Fera searched for the security cameras sure to be on the walls or ceilings. A few passed, but they moved by so quickly, Fera was afraid the technology hadn't caught them. It was like he was a drifting shadow, glancing over a corner before methodically treading lightly, but swiftly over the floor. "You reformatted toaster, I'm down here! It's rude to ignore people." she voiced, successfully hiding the increasing fear she felt building in her stomach. At the sound of her voice, the mech ducked in a shaded crevice of the hall and glared down at her. "Talking is not permitted." he repeated. Fera just grinned and did her best to shrug. "Oops. Guess I don't like being taken hostage by A GIANT ALIEN ROBOT." she screamed the final words, a last-ditch effort at best. Before her sentence could stop echoing, the mech swiveled on his heels and sprinted down the hall. Fera was being carried like the stick at a relay race, her body repeatedly lunging up and down in rough, jerking strides. Her stomach churned and her head pulsed with the abuse.
She could only participate in watching as her world blurred by. The thumping of the mech's feet was all she could hear, as well as her own screaming heart. "I'm not a toy!" she yelled, snapping her jaws shut as a wave of nausea wrapped around her. Swallowing back the feeling was all she could do, and she proceeded to just squeeze her eyes closed and duck her head down, hoping this would be over soon. Her body leapt and then fell, over and over and over. Her hair slapped her face to leave stinging remarks behind. It was clear now that her stitches in her hand had come loose and that it was just an open cut, bleeding into her bandages. Thankfully, her side wound was healing nicely and it only caused a partial discomfort.
Scared, but energized blue eyes opened and Fera caught the slowed steps of the mech as they approached a random location in the base. Looking around at the damages and attempts at reconstruction, Fera guessed they were in the east wing. The mech holding firmly onto her stopped, looked around, and then jogged down the hall to her left. When they stopped, they both looked up and Fera's face drained of color. It was a small, black hole just burrowed through the ceiling. Fera gripped on to whatever courage she had left and she took in sharp breaths to try easing her mind. Before the mech could jump into wherever that hole led to, Fera came up with an abrupt and insane idea.
She jammed her hand -the uninjured one of course- into the plates of the mech's hand. Deeper and deeper she plunged, moving through what she felt to be wires and other small devices until her hand met something small enough for her to grab. She locked her fingers tight and yanked. Hard. And from the pained yelp of the mech, she had accomplished something she was after. When his grip loosened, Fera grabbed something else and pulled that too. The mech snarled in a feral way and completely opened his fingers. Fera was suddenly suspended in mid-air, her expression shocked. As her body fell, she released an ear-shattering scream that would wake even Solas from his deep slumber.
The ground was as unforgiving as the face of Death itself, colliding with her and producing enough power to turn her scream into a sort of hiccup. Every drop of air propelled from her lungs and every piece of her rear body shriveled in agony. Her head swirled and her mouth lay open, her chest heaving like a fish out of water. A high-pitched ringing began in her ear and scrambled her thoughts from any clear senses. There were a few words that reached her, but then they were gone, replaced by the dull thuds of a very big and heavy thing. She slowly rolled onto her side, groaning pitifully from the ache in her spine. Her head pulsed and any light turned into the sun.
Suddenly, she was grabbed and once again taken into a firm grip. When her head rolled and she regained partial hearing, she looked to an unfocused, silver shape. Two red blots stared back at her and narrowed. Realization hit her and Fera quickly took as many breaths as she could, ready to do what she had again. "Your defiance is trivial fleshling." he spoke with emotionless calm, cutting off her focus. Fera suddenly forgot her frightened instinct for calling for help, and she glared right back. "Go fondle yourself." she growled through gritted teeth. The mech's eyes opened and then slowly returned to an agitated state. But he only just squeezed her, causing her to gasp in pain.
They flew through the air for a split second before darkness and dirt spilled over them, showering them in a dim unknown. Fera was far from giving up, but she was uncertain of just how to fight on. She was tired, hurting, had already made their presence known twice, and made sure to distract her kidnapper at all costs. But now, he just climbed, ignoring her as she coughed and gagged on the particles of dirt clogging her nose and throat. She raised a hand and pressed her forehead on the mech's hand, trying to hide her face. Oh what a wonderful, wonderful life I have, she once again thought sarcastically. It was becoming her motto. Her eyes shut tight and her lips caked in wet dirt. She was constantly swallowing something, and she hoped a bug wouldn't join the growing list.
The mech jerked and lurched forward, clawing at the tunnel and stabbing his silver claws into the soft earth to scale the small opening. As Fera looked up, she could see a dim light behind the confetti of dirt. Humid air drew down the hole and stuck to Fera's skin, placing a sheen of dew on her forehead. They approached the opening quicker and quicker, the outside world just waiting to meet them. "You have got to be kidding me." she muttered, throwing herself into another coughing fit.
Encircling her hands around her face, Fera hid her mouth and nose, trying desperately to keep any particles from getting down her throat or in her lungs. Already, she was having trouble breathing and that wasn't even becoming the worst of her problems. The 'Con reached the last few feet of the tunnel and he threw them forward unexpectedly, causing Fera to have to cling on to keep her head from tipping back. They flew through the hole and came outside, the mech reaching out and catching them on the rim of the hole before they fell back inside. "Let me go 'Con!" she screamed helplessly, using her freed hands to try to push the rest of her from the Decepticon's grasp. The mech lifted his legs up and stood, walking forward immediately. "Silence." he commanded hardly.
Fera moved and twisted, trying and failing at everything she tried. "Let me GO." she raised a fist and promptly slammed it onto the mech's hand. Right now, she was mad. Very mad. And now that this mech was succeeding in what he wanted to do, she was way past angry. Her hand created a loud, ringing sound as it hit the metal surface, reverberating around the dusky sunset like that of a bell. Because of her voicing her contempt, she was once again placed in front of the steady, and frighteningly cool eyes of the Decepticon. They were so still and hard that they didn't need the passion of anger to make them scary. In fact, this might be more terrifying than anger. Fera held her ground and simply stared back, trying to straighten herself in her iron prison.
"You will be taken to Mistress Arachnid." he stated bluntly. Fera's irritation grew and she opened her eyes wide in disbelief. "Like hell I will!" she argued defiantly. The mech simply just tightened his hold on her, seeming to think this would shut her up. It didn't. She wasn't that predictable. "You put me down right now, you vile, rust-ridden, pile of spare parts or I'll scream so loud it'll break your ears." she snarled bitterly. There was a feral touch in her voice that surprised even her. Her lips pulled back and she gathered the bravery to do what she thought to do when he refused to meet her demands. When he made no move to release her, Fera simply drew back her tongue and stimulated her saliva.
And she spat.
Right in his face. Right all over his glowing, horrible red eyes and collected expression. The mech reared back and called out in shock, raising a hand to wipe the spittle from his face. Fera smirked and watched him as he swiped away the saliva and then glared down at her. "Fleshling, you are incredibly idiotic..." he growled gravely. Fera was drawn close to him as he arched over her, trying to seem more menacing than he already was. Keeping a hard expression, Fera shrank back and tried to seem unafraid. On the inside however, she was completely and utterly terrified.
So maybe spitting in the face a of Decepticon wasn't the brightest idea she'd ever had.
And this, my friends, is why Fera is so completely idiotic.
I make her do, say, and act in ways no one else would.
But for some reason, I love her for it! :D