"What?"

"I am only kidding Mr. Watson, I am the Holmes family physician. I am sorry for your loss."

"Oh…yes of course…"

"…I was called to make sure you are okay and in condition to help us with the arrangements."

"Yes. How long have I been asleep do you think in your best professional opinion?"

"About 3 weeks."

"What?"

"No only about 3 days."

"Oh."

"They say heartbreak can be the best sedative."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I'm giving you just some light dosages of pain medication and an opiate to relieve stress," the doctor said slowly and in rhythm with the Bach playing in the background.

"Wait what?" I asked.

"Well the pain medication is for the heartbreak and the opiate is for the fun."

Although this was a weird request from a complete stranger, I agreed and took the pills he slowly grabbed from the bottom of an unmarked glass vial. I didn't feel anything at first but then all at once I felt it. The drugs took hold. I knew with my medical background that I shouldn't have taken the opiate. Why would you take that? It made no sense whatsoever but I trusted the doctor that was in front of me. He was the only person who seemed to care about me after the…accident.

I can scarcely think of the accident now readers. But as soon as the harsh medicine took a hold of my bloodstream I felt more alive than ever. More alive than my fiancee who had just sadly perished. I wanted to sin with this doctor, than man of medicine. We must have so much in common I thought. I wanted to be with him. I looked at myself in a mirror and thought it was a wall. This chemical reaction was quite dubious.

I looked at the man's face and didn't see a face. It was just a black hole into another world. I jumped into the space that should have been a mouth, nose and eyes and entered a different reality than my own. I was married to the doctor. I didn't even know his name. Wow. But I felt so close to him. I knew I loved him and that this was the man for me.

As I looked at the new world that I so desperately wanted, I also wasn't completely sure of it because I had just lost the person that I thought was my one and only soulmate in the world. But I wanted to be married again. A ring popped into my pocket and I saw the back of the doctor's head. I tapped him on the shoulder and my old love Holmes turned back at me and was crying. He said nothing but just cried and feel to his knees. I ran the other way but I couldn't move. I just ran in place and gasped. The range disappeared and soon I was in my bed again. But everything was a dark black.

I saw nothing but the shine of the fine fabrics and soon was covered in pills, a water washed over my head. I couldn't breathe. I gasped out. I screamed out. No one answered. So then I didn't scream out anymore. I swerved in the bubbles that formed around my mouth. I couldn't talk, my voice was gone. There is nothing worse than that feeling.

"Are you cheating on me?"

Even though Holmes was crucified into the earth, did he ever love me? Or was I just a distraction from his actual life? No one saw me and then he did see me. He made me seen in society and I will always love him for that.

The water filled my lungs and my eyes went black. The world was in complete silence. I felt like I would join my love soon.

"John are you okay?"

The doctor was over me and I realized I wasn't dead. Even though it is a sin, I almost wanted to be dead. I wanted to join my true love.

"John come with me."

"I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Any of it."

"Let's get some breakfast."

The simple request hit me like well-landed punch. I supposed he was right. His smile convinced me and I followed him to the kitchen of the estate.

He cooked me breakfast even though there are servants that would have done that for him. It made a very long lasting impression on me. In my entire life, I can't think of when a gentleman made me a meal and pulled out my chair.

"Thank you, sir. What is your name though?"

"Just call me Dr."

"Oh."

"Okay…doctor."

He spooned each morsel of the wet beans into my dry and wanting mouth. Then came the ripened tomato. The seeds lightly grazed my back molars and I sat up in excitement. The juice sprayed the back of my throat. I swallowed the juice and opened my mouth for more. Splendid!

Then as readers as you know came the fried eggs. They were cooked delightfully and the light coating of butter on the egg went a long way to satisfy me. We didn't have any bacon in stock so there was only sausage left to consume this dark morning. Doctor took the meat and aggressively cut the meat and almost elbowed me in the head. I luckily ducked in time. God bless. He finished cutting all the sausage and I was tired after eating all of the scrumptious offerings I was given so politely by my doctor.

"That was a delightful Full Monty doctor."

"Thank you John."

"I would love to know your real name if you could tell me if at all possible," I pleaded with the man.

"I mean I suppose since I cooked you a full English Breakfast I can tell you…"

.."

….."

"…Well what is it?"

"James…Moriarty."

"Oh that's a pretty banger mash name."

"Yeah most people think it is."

"Do you meet a lot of people with your job as a doctor?"

I said this and I recoiled in my dry and flaky skin. Luckily the doctor rubbed a vat of vasoline on to my body while I was asleep. I didn't remember him doing this but when I woke up my entire body including my perineal area. It felt odd and a tad sticky, but the thought it was truly counts in a relationship. Any relationship. IT could be a friendship or even a sibling, but everything is a two-way street. Two. Way. Street. I felt like I was torn in two in this town by two streets.

"Not much, I'm more of a consulting doctor."

"Oh."

"Will you marry me?"

As I drank my Orient-imported Darjeeling tea. I looked at the fragments of tea leaves and I thought of the slaves that fingers bled that grazed planting the tea seeds and picking when their master's crops blossomed. But these flowers were only beautiful for the people living inside. Inside the nice homes with running water and powdered faces. The rolling hills of green. Only green for the masters. Only profits for the masters. I thought will I become a slave to this man? Will he be my Master? Maybe I yearn for that feeling to have someone love me so much they have full control in the relationship. For once I'll let someone else lead me blindly and wholly in love.

"I cannot believe you're asking me this."

I wanted to be his indentured servant and wanted to know his true feelings. Maybe I would ask him to write them down. So I could fully understand his love. I wanted to know him like I knew no one before him.

"Well believe it."

"Yes..yes…I mean yes."

"Perfect the ceremony will be tomorrow."

"Oh okay. Doesn't that seem a little fast for you?"

I could sense his longing to be married to me and I empathized with his wish.

"Wait. Never mind that thought, James. I would love to marry you tomorrow."

We prepared for bed while the servants prepared for tomorrow's festivities. I wholly trusted my doctor, James Moriarty. I lie in bed with my husband-to-be. I heard a faint noise in the dark moor in the distance.

"John, where are you?"

I woke up from my almost slumber and sat up in my Egyptian-cotton linens.

"John, come home!" a man's voice shouted loudly yet far away.

I ran out of my bedroom. I recognized that voice, I would have recognized that voice anywhere and anytime in space or history.

It was Sherlock Holmes. Back from the dead?

I didn't even put my silk slippers on my tender feet before rushing out of the house and into the yard. I still heard the calling and finally located the sound. It was in our pond that led to the grand entrance of my estate.

I saw Sherlock's face. He was pale and not well fed, but he seemed as alive as ever. As I saw his structured cheekbones turn to me, I was hit with a feeling. I felt like I was resurrected by his own personal Christ that punched its way into my mouth.

"John, John…where am I?"

"Sherlock, Sherlock! I can't believe you're alive."

"Help me John."

"Let's get you inside, honey."

I dragged him inside the home that we were once meant to share together and he collapsed. I was so afraid I would lose him again but I knew he would pull through. If only for me.

"John, John what's going on?" I almost forgot about the doctor that was now sharing my bed.

"Ummm Sherlock. He's alive! Isn't that incredible yet also shocking news?"

"Why, yes. Yes it is," he replied, looking as if something else was on his mind. "Let's get him upstairs and I'll look after him."

The maids and servants took Sherlock upstairs, and I followed since it was technically their jobs. He seemed tired and luckily my dear doctor was there to give him the first aid he so desperately needed.

"I'm going to pump your heart with a dose of adrenaline. Your pulse seems to be almost undetectable."

Sherlock was shaking his head no, but what I did I know about medicine. I hadn't practiced in years. The diagnosis was sound.

He ripped off Sherlock's ratty tweed jacket and shoved the sharp metal needle into his sternum. Sherlock yelled out in immense pain and then all was quiet on this front. His hand went limp. The hand that was entwined into my own. His pulse disappeared like the doctor said it would. My love was dead. I couldn't prepare myself for this happening twice in the past two days, but i had. And I needed to figure out how I was going to deal with it. I cried into my doctor's arms. He didn't support me.

"Hold me, James."

I just wanted his love sans his body. No even his body. Especially his body. I wanted so much at once. I wanted both man that were in front me, but I didn't know what to do. James didn't seem to care much at all that Sherlock had died. That he dealt him his last blow.

"Wait what did you do to him?" I shouted dramatically into his face.

"Nothing you wouldn't have done. Right doctor?"

"No, no. We should've waited longer. We should have done something different for him," I realized.

"I did what I had to do. Please don't judge me, baby."

"I can't believe this. I need time to think about this."

"Let me…"

"No I'll be back soon."

I got up and left the already rotting corpse that laid in the bed that I spent so many nights with my romantic lovers.

I couldn't think of what to do, where to go, who to telegraph. So I quickly decided to do none of it. I grabbed what the liquor cabinet contained and went to the room at the top floor of the house. I decided to there for the remainder of my life. I decided that would not be too much longer.

I drank. The cork popped. I drank. I didn't even need a goblet for my liquid purification.

I sat in the same spot for days. Finally my soon-to-be-husband joined me. He asked me to sign a piece of paper I dare not read. And could not read because of the intoxication of my blood.

"Thank you."

"No thank you."

I wasn't sure what was to come from what I had just signed, but I didn't even care a shred of that clean parchment because my true love was taken away from me. I realized that you only truly love one person in life and Sherlock was that person for me. And if he couldn't be here, than I wouldn't be either.

I drank every bottle that was in the house. The servants never even tried to come upstairs and feed me which made me feel even more worthless. They didn't even respect their lord. But who cared anymore, I wasn't long for this world. Each day, I grew weaker and weaker. Eventually I was used to the balmy odor that came from my body. I barely slept and when I did I was awoken to the sound of myself vomiting and it coating the back of my throat. I could feel my body betraying me. Eventually the end came to me. I died how I thought I would. Alone. But Sherlock had let me seen at least a different life. A better life. My life.