Everything's a little weird at the moment, but they should smooth out a little soon

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Of The Spark And Heart

Part 1

Chapter 20

Hey? Was that all she could say? It was pathetic, especially considering that the one who should have been in a coma was sitting before her, swirling around a cube of what she assumed was some type of drink. And along with that, he seemed wide awake and perfectly fine, with little to no lashings on his body that could be seen.

At the sound of her voice, Solas snapped to attention, looking down at her in surprise. The essence inside of her jumped with him and Fera's hand moved not to her necklace, but to her heart. A smile crept on his face and he stopped moving the cube in his hand.

"Hey." he said back.

His voice blew over her like a breath of fresh air. A weight lifted from her shoulders and she felt a lot less dreary. Her heart leapt at the sound, and the presence in her grew happier with her. Unable to hide her relieved grin, Fera stepped closer and watched between his comforting teal eyes. "I guess you're awake." she noted stupidly. Solas chuckled at her attempt at a conversation and she laughed too, relishing in this moment. Solas was alive. He was ok. For now he was doing well. At least, from what she could see so far.

"Yeah, I guess so. So are you." he suddenly reached down, wrapping his fingers around her. Fera lifted her arms and winced when he held her firmly, slowly bringing her up. She drifted through the air, higher and higher, until she was eye-level with the mech. Her feet touched solid ground and she quickly sat after he released her. Shifting to a more comfortable position, she found she had been settled on his knee. Looking back up at him, she broadly and openly smiled. "How do you feel?" she asked, forgetting all of her former ailments. The warmness in her heart was coating her in a new-found joy she hadn't felt since riding in Sol's cabin. Even in his protoform, she knew it was him, and she knew he was still who he had been. That presence in her heart somehow told her. It seemed to whisper it in her ear as nothing more than a brush of air.

Along with that feeling, her necklace was warm against her collarbone, buzzing with a low intensity. Solas placed the hand holding the clear cube on his stomach, no longer seeming interested in it. The feel of his total stillness made Fera want to move around unnecessarily. So much pent-up sadness and guilt had finally been washed away, leaving her with only a blank mind and simple, dead-end questions. Sol let his head fall against the wall before he answered, "I should feel tired and I should be in a lot of pain considering what I assume my body has been through." he paused and Fera looked down to her feet.

"However, I feel absolutely fine."

Confusion leaked in through Fera's mind and she felt the curiosity building inside of her. There was so much excitement and wonder to have in seeing the mech here, unharmed; awake before her. There was so much to say that her dry tongue wouldn't allow. Her mind raced with the unspoken inquiries and her heart raced with unease. Why was he awake? Yes it was a large load off her shoulders to see him in good health, and yes it was relieving to know he wasn't in pain. But that one question kept repeating itself over and over in her mind, seeming to want to burst forth and ask its own self before she could: How is this possible?

"You say that as if you're disappointed." she noted, leaning on her elbows as she crossed her legs. Solas patted the object in his hand and he paused. "Not really disappointed, more like confused if anything. I was in a battle, blacked out for over an earth month, and now I find you laying on my chassis unconscious." he summed up the events as if he'd seen them in a movie, displaying so many feelings behind each part that it was hard to tell what he truly thought. Fera fiddled with her fingers and looked down on them, watching herself. "To tell you the truth, I don't really know either. I'd woken up after collapsing, only to leave the room -under strict order not to by Doctor Peters mind you- and go find you." she shrugged, not looking up for a moment.

She felt a slight shift in the essence inside of her and she quietly studied it as well as the way it seemed to pulse in tune with her own heart before she actually returned to the conversation. "What happened to you?" Solas asked, slightly concerned. Fera waved it off and fought to rein in any telling facial features. It was best to keep one's mouth shut if they didn't want to be on the receiving end of a very irritated mech CMO. A million and one other distractions filed through her head, only to come to one single, flashing alternative. This one stuck to her mind like glue, becoming increasingly sharper while the others dimmed to a fuzzy afterthought.

Finally caving, she said, "Nothing. Just a little roughed around is all- nothing to worry about. That new Autobot got there before anything actually happened." the moment she said it, she regretted it. Of course, the one thing she was able to say was that. Of all the options.

The Guardian before her leaned forward, setting his drink on the floor beside him. His face came closer and Fera sat straighter, avoiding eye contact and shoving her hands between her legs. "Anything being?" he prompted, urging her on. Fera shook her head, darting a glance up at the mech, only to flick it away. "Solas, it's fine. I'm here, safe and sound, so forget about it." she gave the most convincing smile she could, only to have her attempts dashed with the narrowed eyes he gave her. "Besides, why linger on past events when we should be happy right now? I swear, you're more anxious than Ratchet." she forced the humor into the statement, rolling her eyes and trying to look as though Sol was being ridiculous.

Solas watched her questioningly for a few moments before slowly leaning back. "I have a right to be anxious. I'm your Guardian." he said this with utter calmness, as if it were an everyday thing. Fera felt a tinge run down her spine at the word "Guardian" and she grinned. "You're not actually beginning to go soft, are you?" she patted his knee teasingly and a relieved feeling overcame her when she saw him grin as well. He lifted a hand and jabbed a finger at her, saying, "Don't even go there human, or I'll be forced to put you right back in Doctor Shelby's capable hands." his tone was mischievous, but Fera still took this threat to heart. She swallowed and thought about what the doctor would do if given the chance to get ahold of her.

"I'd like to see you try." she shot back, equally as playful. Solas chuckled and let his hand sit back over his stomach. This was nice. All of it. Even that small moment when she feared their reunion would turn into a scream-fest as he tried prying information from her. As long as she was consciously able however, this wouldn't happen. She was to make sure he wouldn't know for as long as possible. It was almost impossible that this would go on for very long, but after a certain amount of time, it wouldn't even matter. It was like keeping a secret from her mother for a few years, then feeling guilty and telling it to her. It wouldn't matter that much anymore, would it? Unless she killed someone...

Solas jerked his head towards the door and Fera snapped back to the conversation, freezing when he moved. "I heard you gave a pretty good fight back there while I was gone." his face was unreadable and Fera stomach dropped somewhere to the floor. Did he know? That wasn't possible. Only the Autobots knew and they wouldn't say anything so soon after he'd woken up, would they? That would just be cruel. Any major news given to an unstable body would be just plain wrong.

"Yeah? What did you hear?" she asked, trying desperately to keep the nerves out of her voice.

For a few seconds, he paused and squinted his optics almost inconspicuously. A sudden yet small flare in her heart shot to attention and she swallowed when the feeling became enough to make her shift uncomfortably. The necklace around her throat buzzed lower and pulsed with an unknown and strange energy. "That you broke one of the soldiers' nose. He was trying to hold you down long enough to restrain you." the thought seemed to pass from his mind and he returned to his normal mask.

Fera visibly released the pent-up breath from her body while her heart rate sped with the scare she put herself through. Calm down, it's not like anything could happen if he did know, she told herself firmly. She faked a short laugh, cutting it off way too fast for it to be normal. A regular person wouldn't have been able to pick up the difference, but Fera knew full well that Sol wasn't a normal person. Or one at all actually.

Trying to avoid the subject, Fera put in, "That's what they get for trying to lock me up in that stupid bed. Let's just be happy I didn't get my hands on whoever put on the final lock." she chuckled again, finding it almost frightening under his heavy and all-too-steady gaze.

The mech beneath her was felt to move and Fera kept her eyes low. The presence in her heart grew and felt to...what was it doing? It moved around her like the vines on a plant, poking deeper, trying to find something. The necklace continued to vibrate and she swallowed hard as the sensation grew. Was it searching her?

"Fera, you seem distracted. I know something is wrong, so stop trying to fake innocence." he commanded sharply.

Fera felt herself wince and she shrank away from the essence inside of her, feeling too guilty to deserve such a comforting energy. The moment she did so, it too pulled back. Her hand leapt to her chest and she instinctively rubbed the area over her heart, knitting her eyebrows. It physically hurt to block that...whatever it was, inside of her. That now familiar and accepted part of her was being held back and barred, giving her no numbness now from her pain.

Not only did she feel the discomfort from the restriction on her block, but there was also the repercussions of her short joyride with the Decepticon. Her arms pulsed and the muscles flicked and twitched as if she had gone to the gym. Her back was sore from the base of her neck to her tailbone, groaning in silence anytime she moved. Even her hands felt stiff and uncooperative, sliding less smoothly than how they had before.

"I'm fine." she insisted. Her voice was now raw with both tiredness and a parched failure at her earlier request of water. Clearing her throat before he noticed, Fera closed her eyes and burrowed her brow. "I'm fine."

When her eyes reopened, Sol had a hard look of disbelief on his face. She was obviously a bad actress, but a girl had to try right? Now her attempts just seemed childish and stupid. Solas could probably hear her thrashing from his own room; just tick in annoyance as her thumping heart took up all other sound. for hours and hours Solas let his teal eyes look over her before he spoke, "That is a bald-faced lie." this was a short and simple argument, yet Fera had the sneaking suspicion she wouldn't be the one to win.

At her silence, Solas continued, "It is worse for yourself to just not tell me than to face Ratchet when your injuries get worse." Fera noted the concern in the edges of his voice, and a grin played with the sides of her lips. "Thanks, I really need to be threatened with the grouchy doctor." she let her hand fall from her chest and she leaned back on both, as if nothing were wrong whatsoever. On the inside of herself though, she was writhing in a ball of pitiful suffering. Solas huffed and she saw his old self emerge again. It was hard not to admit she'd missed that side of him.

"I'm serious Fera, what if you're sick, or need aid? I can't do it, even if I wanted to." he persisted, lifting a finger and then letting it fall. Fera crossed her legs at her ankles and looked down. "You're really stubborn, you know that?" he added a few seconds later. Fera swung her legs a few times and gave a short, genuine snort from her nose. "I've been told." she let her head fall back and she locked eyes with the mech. He was glaring at her with a glare that would definitely make any human immediately confess. But Fera was as strong-willed as her counterpart was, making this nothing less than a visual standoff.

It was actually kind of funny, being held in such a contemptuous look by the one mech she actually considered a friend other than Bumblebee. If it weren't already for her aching body and their past skip of really pressing matters, she would burst out laughing. But instead, her grin just fell and she sighed in realization. He was an obstinate one wasn't he? The choices made before her were clear: she could either tell him everything and risk the release of a certainly infuriated tower of guns and metal, or she could say nothing and have him find out later and still have a partially broken trust. At least then Ratchet wouldn't have to take care of one more patient.

Using her fingers to gently trace random images over Sol's kneecap, she avoided any and all eye contact. The silence was suffocating seeing all that could be said, but wasn't. There was so much that she should of been telling him, so much that he could tell her, and everything that they had missed. Fera had a burning wonder of what it was like being in a coma and sleeping for so long. It couldn't be comfortable, that was for sure. And it was probably scary too. "Have you ever wondered what it was like to be faced with two options and both would end up badly?" Fera asked absentmindedly, still continuing her mindless doodling on Sol's protoform. She felt him shift and she stopped her hand, looking up. He had crossed his arms before him, his head tipped forward. "Yes. Yes I have." he answered shortly. Obviously, that was something he didn't want to talk about.

Instead of dwelling on what should probably be left alone, Fera brought up her knees and folded her arms on top of them, setting her head in the nest of limbs. "Do you ever ask yourself what it's like being in a higher status and being faced with that? Like Optimus Prime?" she went on, somehow keeping the conversation going. It was pointless really, all this doom and gloom was really killing any chance of relaxing chatter. Sol tipped his head down further and the vizor on his helmet cut off some view from his face.

When she feared he'd never heard her, or had simply ignored her, he finally responded, "It takes a real mech to stand in the position he's in. I'm sure he had to make that decision when he left Rethalia behind to find the AllSpark. He was left to both leave her and risk losing the AllSpark to the Decepticons." suddenly, Fera didn't feel like talking anymore. She left herself to sit in her dull throbs of pain and keep up a harsh block from the relief waiting for her in the comfort of Hope -as it was just easier to figure it was that same feeling she had experienced in her sleep, and she felt it was less confusing to just name the thing-.

It was horrible to think of leaving your one true love behind to search through a vast expanse of space for some artifact. If she went by anything she had heard when mention came up of sparkmates, she wouldn't doubt it was near crippling. To even think of what that might feel like had Fera's chest tightening. It wasn't her place to figure what another alien species would be going through, but she couldn't help it. Couldn't he have just sent another commander in his place? Some other Prime? Solas had said that it was rare to have multiple Primes at once, but he never said it was impossible. To think, he left his home, his family, and everything he'd ever known just to find a clue. And not only did he leave his sparkmate along with that, but his child too.

Hope prod at the barrier again, but Fera just ignored it, hoping that even though she craved the numbness now, she would be able to just let the essence fade into nothing. Maybe it was just a faze; just apart of her medication-infested mind. Something told her otherwise.

When had she begun to feel this presence anyway? After the battle? When the Decepticon had grabbed her? "They..." she trailed off, holding back the anxiety and fear she possessed. They had been everywhere- trying to steal what she found important to her. She bit her bottom lip and strained to keep her voice in check. "They're just so awful Sol! To do something...like killing one of their own kind...without so much as blinking..." she couldn't continue, afraid the lump in her throat would bring on the tears she warned herself to retain.

Fera felt Sol moving and she found him reaching up, grabbing his knee so he could pull himself nearer. It's probably not very easy for him, she figured silently. After waking up after a month his body must be stiff. She held on as his knee jerked, abruptly shaking her. When he looked up, she saw the cold wisdom in his eyes that no man on earth would ever gain in their short life.

"To you, our ways are seen as violent and horrid, but to us, it's expected to survive." he paused, seeing her worried look. "I know it frightens you to see us, but this is what we are. You shouldn't be surprised seeing as your history of volatile leaders is long and shocking itself."

The small human fixed her expression and looked down to calm herself before glancing back up. "No, it's not that...I understand that. It's just that I would feel so guilty after killing someone, even if they were trying to kill me." she stopped and saw the confusion in Sol's face. "It's just what I would do, but in their case, there is just no emotion as it happens. None." her hands came around and she started to lock and unlock her fingers.

"It's so disconcerting to imagine even faceless soldiers dyeing in battle. It makes me think: 'What about their family? Friends? Even if they had none, someone, somewhere must miss them...' someone had to of been sad that they were dead. Someone. Even a random peer in battle could've been upset about it. Otherwise, that person led a very lonely and sad life." she pondered her own words and found them to be mostly true. She would often see herself as the only girl in the movie theater feeling disturbed by the death of a major antagonist or seeing the cold calmness in the face of a hero killing extras. It was a silly thing to be squeamish about, especially because all of it was fake. But just the thought that in someone's mind, this character could be so relaxed as they pulled that trigger...

"You feel all battles are fought with faceless soldiers? What ignorance." Sol commented, setting himself back against the wall. Fera pressed her palms together and she actually felt stupid for a moment. She was sure he didn't mean to offend her, but it still stung.

"It's not ignorance!" she exclaimed, stubbornly keeping her head facing down.

"It's called sanity."

This time, she did look up, only to see his reaction. There was none, and she was slightly disappointed. He just seemed...thoughtful. It wasn't necessarily that she had expected a lively response, but something was better than nothing.

For a long time now, she had dreaded seeing the serious side of Solas. He was often quiet and unreadable during this time and she couldn't help feeling like it was like a scoff. And usually when he did eventually talk, it was too dark and careful. "Sanity over knowledge? Is that why you refuse to see as I do? War is not sane. Nor is wisdom." he said, taking up exactly what she had feared. Fera felt her shoulders shake and she sagged against her arms, sliding her face over them to set her forehead against the fabric. Hope poked at her barrier experimentally. It was frustrating to say the least; all this constant happiness and destructive gloom. It was like a ticking time bomb every time someone smiled. It always meant that soon, sadness would follow.

"I don't want to see as you do. I just want to live in peace and have the happiness of those who don't understand the deeper details of what comes with war and battles and...death." finding that Hope was still trying to gain reentry to her heart, she suddenly grew angry. What was the point talking about peace to a being who knew nothing but war? Now this darkness that had entered their supposed-to-be-happy conversation, while at the same time comfort wanted to sooth any worry or ache she carried. Sol said nothing, and this made her angry too. Pressing her fingers to her arms, she lifted her head and knitted her eyebrows.

It was all just so confusing and contradicting. First, there was fear, then there was comfort, and again came pain. But through all of this, not a damn clear thought entered her mind! Not one thing could be considered for over a minute or so, and even then everything was blurry. So many differing emotions made for a very frustrating and annoying experience. She couldn't hold this in anymore, all of it was just too much. Her nails dug deep into her arms and she felt the muscles in her jaw snap to attention.

"This isn't a game to me! None of this is fun or an adventure or even remotely interesting anymore! All I am is afraid and angry all the time, and I don't know what's coming the next day or if I'll even live to see my own kids!" she paused her outburst too late to stop the overflow of tears that began to trickle down her cheeks. Through the blurry sheen, she saw Sol lift his head at her sudden agitation. "There are times when I have to actually see my mom to reassure myself she's still alive or that a 'Con hadn't gotten her, or when I have those nightmares and wake to a totally dark room crying and saying my dad's name over and over. I tell myself he's gone every night, just in hopes the realization will come, but it never does!"

Taking a shuddering breath, her chin quivered and her throat hurt. The only thing she could feel at the moment was utter embarrassment at crying like a baby in front of an Autobot and confessing every problem her life caused her. When he didn't speak, that gave her the moment to seemingly rein in her hysteric voice and lower it to a much more suitable level. "I lost my mom's trust and my father's life. I almost lost yours when I couldn't help you. I just stood there like an idiot, watching as you were..." her mouth clamped shut and she squeezed her eyes, tipping her head to the side before retaining herself and moving on. "It was my fault you were even hurt in the first place, and it's still my fault now that you're in this state. And Solas, I'm so, so sorry for that. I know it probably-" she was cut off as her body was suddenly and abruptly lifted into the air.

Her head snapped back and her face froze with the streak lining her cheeks. Surprise overtook her emotions and she could only swallow her words as Sol held her in his hand. The air dried her wet face and got slightly warmer as he brought her closer. She thought he was going to bring her to eye level with him, but instead he moved he straight to his chest. Once close, he gently laid her there, letting her body press against the area right above his spark. The necklace she wore now thrummed and warmed her entire body, decimating her barrier and allowing Hope to flood through her.

Immediately she fell limp in his grasp, letting him hold her gently to his protoform as the outpour of long overdue expressions left her. When he 'breathed', she could feel the vents at work and the deep thump of his spark like a human heart. The tears stopped coming and she let her numb limbs settle greedily against his comforting shape. "You are so stupid." he rumbled, his voice more sound than speech. Fera grinned and pressed her cheek against the metal, curling her hands towards her. None of her prior feelings of guiltiness had completely left her, but they had dimmed. There was a confident knowledge she possessed that it was Hope that was doing that.

"You think it's your fault I got injured? I should be offended." Solas went on as Fera closed her eyes for a moment. "It was my inability to protect you and the lack of focus in the battle around us that had me in the position I gained." his hand pressed slightly firmer and Fera opened her eyes to frown, catching herself as she held dearly on to Sol's protoform. For some reason, she felt at home here; safe. As if nothing in the world could hurt her while in his grasp. She doubted anything would ever again.

"Don't you dare even blame it on yourself Fera, I'd never forgive you. It was Optimus Prime's decision to make me your Guardian and to make sure you never fell harmed. In not heeding the gravity of my obligation, I allowed my duties to be forgotten. For that, I am sorry." he stated softly. Fera tensed against him and she blinked. He was apologizing? For what? He had done everything he possibly could have with her there and a wounded leg as well. How could he possibly apologize for that? "You tried, and that is enough for me. Don't apologize for something that was not your fault. Everything was against us and it would have been a miracle if we actually had achieved our goal without something happening." she said back.

Her eyes traveled down to her hand and she once again took up the distraction of tracing against his body. The small, intricate works of metal making up his form was so intriguing that she felt she could spend the rest of the day here looking over them. They were like the surface of a finger, imprinted with such small lines of unique codes like a personal print. Of course, they couldn't be seen from afar, but up close, it was just one more thing to marvel at such a giant creature. "Maybe you're right. But that still doesn't excuse the fact that I'm going to tear Skywarp apart next time I lay optics on him." Sol growled threateningly.

Fera felt a sadistic grin crawl over her face. It felt really good to hear him say that. "And I wouldn't stop you." she responded, feeling the vibration of Sol's chest. It was a little disturbing to think that she got such devilish glee at the mention of the destruction of another being, but she couldn't help it. That 'Con had tried taking one of her friends. Solas' brief anger died and they sat in silence for about a minute. With the barrier broken, she felt herself becoming more accepting of the pauses that often came. They were needed to let everything sink in. It took a lot to figure that out. Yet, there was still an uneasiness that couldn't be placed out of natural-born instinct. "Can I ask you something?" she murmured, knowing full well he would be able to hear her.

"Go ahead."

"Do you miss anyone? Back at your home I mean."

A pause.

"A long time ago I would have said yes, but now I feel nothing but a longing for my home."

"What happened?"

"Nothing you need concern yourself with."

"Please? I want to know more about what you left behind."

"Why?"

"It makes me feel like I'm not as strangerly as I really am."

"Why would you think that?"

"We are two completely different species from two completely different places. I feel ignorant for not knowing something that seems so obvious to you."

Solas again broke word at this and Fera looked up, seeing that he was no longer watching her, but staring off across the empty room. For the first time, Fera was able to see the true lack of people around the space. Seeing as this was a military base, it was awfully relaxed.

"Did you have family?" she asked softly, treading on what she knew was sensitive ground. Sol kept his eyes away, but his expression fell. "My family is my comrades. I need nothing more." he answered flatly. Fera brought her arms closer to her and she drew her eyebrows together. "Something happened, didn't it?" she went on, urging him to continue. She could see him flinch and she regretted her question. When his eyes went a cold turquoise, she'd known she'd gone too far too fast.

"Yes. It did." he told her. there was no emotion in his voice, and that was worse than any anger he could have shown towards her. Fera let the wave of sadness overcome her and she laid her head against his protoform. "I'm sorry I asked." she muttered, feeling highly guilty of ever bringing up the subject. Sol's hand on her back lifted slightly and Fera paused in fear he would move her. He didn't, so she relaxed again.

"Don't be."

"It's obviously not something you like to talk about."

"Of course not."

"That's just like me."

"I don't understand."

"My father. He died when I was younger."

Solas didn't respond to this, giving only a rumble of his chest as note he'd heard. Hope instead took his place and offered her a moment of peace. "Fera, I'm not sure your experience would be equal to mine." he commented next, completely throwing her off.

Fera felt her body swirl in confusion and offense, and she lifted her head to see his face. "What's that's supposed to mean?" she demanded, hurt that he should think his emotions higher than her own. She could tell he noticed her irritation, but he still went on, "Your father and my mech creator where two very different beings." Fera tucked her arms beneath her so she could prop herself up better, letting her neck rest a little. "I'm pretty sure they are, unless you're like some human-Cybertronian." her face twisted in skepticism as she studied the mech before her.

Was he dull in the head, or processor- or whatever you called it? Solas again let his head fall back on the wall and she watched him in curiosity. Was he going to share with her some deeply personal secret? If so, what could she tell him? I slept with a night-light until I was 11, she suggested lamely. "No, not physically. Well, actually physically and factionally." he stopped again, but Fera stayed quiet, knowing anything she said could ruin this moment for her. Her words bubbled in her throat, threatening to form and spill into something like, come on already! Tell me! But that wouldn't be good for Solas' confidence.

When her mouth parted, wanting to speak her mind, he stopped her. What he'd said then made her freeze. Her whole body was nothing but a block of stone. Her eyes store into nothing and her breathing refused to continue. The very air weighed heavy with the lingering of his voice. Thoughts stopped in her head, only to start up again in renewed vigor. Was this possible? No, no it couldn't be. No, no, no, no, no...

Just five little words. Five.

That was all it took to have a reasonably sensible teenager on a giant robot's chest to simply stand, slide down his abdomen, and walk away.

Five words.

No emotion coated her face. He didn't call her name. She didn't look back.

Five words.

Her steps were heavy and her mind was blank, in a shocked stupor. Nothing seemed to make sense and even reality seemed a lie. The nurses hoarded her back to her room, only to leave her to a very agitated Doctor Shelby.

Five words.

That was all it took to be given a collection of sleep aids given to you in hopes you were only tired from the zoned-out state you refused to pull from as your doctor asked you question after question. Five measly, small words haunted her as she lay awake in that dark room with only the soft glow of the results box hanging by the door as light.

"My creator was a Decepticon."

"And he's just been sitting by the hall for at least three Earth days' time." Ratchet once again looked towards the door, maybe expecting the very 'Bot to walk through. Optimus sighed and shook his helm slowly. "This is an unexpected turn of events." he noted softly. Ratchet huffed in his Ratchet-like way and he crossed his arms over his chassis. "That, Prime, is an understatement. Whatever she had done to get the Stone to work, it miraculously resuscitated Solas. Now, he has some form of anomaly in his spark that he simply refuses to allow my access to."

Worry coursed through Optimus as it did seemingly more often as of late. Along with the unknown location of the Decepticons and the random strings of attacks they were making not only at the base, but other locations around the United States, there was his comrades he'd found himself concerned for as well. Doubt often crossed his processor, with guilt and dark conclusions not far behind.

"He is simply concerned for his charge. The duties of Guardian I foolishly granted him placed him in such a state. This new protectiveness he seems to be exhibiting proves that he has been greatly changed by her presence both in positive and repercussive manners." shuttering his optics, Optimus processed a few plausible answers for the mech's strange behavior.

"Possibly," Ratchet agreed, looking to the ground as Optimus himself computed a few silent thoughts. "however, that does not interpret necessarily the anomaly. Such a fast metamorphose in character would most likely be reached upon more traumatic grounds." they shared a quiet company before either made a move. The sudden heaviness in the air weighed on both their CPUs, causing an uncomfortable Prime to shift position and slowly pace. "Do you figure the object was required in the process of injury?" he asked, not looking up as he lifted a servo and pinched his mandible point.

The often more experienced and answer-wielding medic was now pausing in his own confusion. "It is a plausible option considering his wounds were more than what would be considered to an extensive degree." Optimus looked up at the mech's words to see he was now leaning against the wall, his faceplates aimed at the floor in deep process. Yes, Sol had been extremely damaged in the fight, but to what extent? Had his CPU somehow been effected as well, giving him the more distant presence among his fellow Autobots? This was oddly interesting, seeing as even after all the warrior had been through, he wasn't offlined. No doubt was this impressive. But troubling at the same time.

"Yes, but how does this affect his views towards Fera?" Optimus more often than not chose to use a human's actually name instead of referring to them as 'human' or 'earthling' or even 'fleshling'. It was seen mostly as disrespectful to the Prime, yet he failed to say so. It was now a natural habit he had required, but it seemed to gain him his own esteem around the humans. Ratchet visibly scowled at this, his optic ridges digging deeper into his concentrated expression. "One factor is by no shadow of a doubt, his being a Guardian. But there is definitely something more, something that just snapped in him and forced him into this unforeseen new persona." Ratchet went on, giving a sharp shake of his cranial unit.

Optimus stopped pacing and stood by the back of the room, beside the berth. Just a few kalons ago, this had been occupied by a fatally wounded mech. Now, all it stood as was a lonely steel table with nothing to keep the space. He slipped his servo over the surface, wondering just what maybe could have gone differently in Solas Kaon's CPU. His very core may have been changed in that experience, as it very well should have. Even the most expert mechs in battles found themselves changed through war and ravaged mind. For most, it was inevitable. For some, it was a grim future.

"You compute that this may very well be a completely new thing we are dealing with here Prime?" Ratchet assumed, breaking Optimus' train of thought. Optimus stopped his servo and he stared at his digits, saying nothing in return of Ratchet's statement. Yes, he knew very well, almost too well, that this was possibly something that was to be observed.

From accidentally wandering upon the two as they conversed in the lobby, he had been hesitant. Rethalia had nearly kicked him out of their shared space in hopes that his muddled thoughts could be cleared by a brief walk. When of course he felt the need of a short drive, he had started for the main entrance, stumbling on the mech and human in the process. Solas seemed oddly at ease around Fera, as if her very proximity calmed his troubled spark. Just prior to his comatose state, Fera and himself had been almost all the time teasing one another or pointedly agitating the other. It was a nice change to see the Guardian growing more relaxed around human company.

It was surprising and greatly concerning however when the conversation they shared had taken a turn and Solas promptly leaned forward and scooped the small female from his kneebolt, holding her close to his chassis. Optimus had taken spot in the doorway of the hall, watching the events take place, and he had jerked in worry at his action. Was she injured? Solas' faceplates were set like hard, cold stone; emotionless in every sense except focus. Something was exchanged between them and Optimus leaned back again, assured that whatever had happened was resolved.

It was then that he had left them to themselves, going off to find Ratchet just in case there really was an issue with Solas or Fera. The human medic known as Doctor Shelby -who was in fact charged with the chief care of Fera's health- was nowhere to be found. However, as Optimus walked down the unusually calm halls of the base, he found himself at the same room Solas had been stationed in while left in his unresponsive state. Ratchet was inside, seeming to be keeping himself busy organizing tools when the Prime had came in. They began talking and one thing led to another, leaving them in the spot they were in now.

"Of course." he answered, turning while stalling his servo on the berth. "We must predict that they have somehow grown closer from the experience. That doesn't falter my concerns however." he caught the medic's optics and he continued, "There is still the matter of relocating ourselves before the Decepticons have yet another chance to pull another assault. How is our progress?" Optimus let his arm fall as Ratchet looked away into nothing and filed through information. "Thunderflare is making progress on the armoring, but he will still need at least a quartex before Solas can even be fitted. There then is the injuries that Sideswipe, Hound, and yourself have acquired." at this, Optimus shifted slightly on his bad kneejoint.

The stiffness was still there, but it was still better than having no movement at all. Ratchet had done all he could to repair it with what they had, but he hadn't promised comfort. "Solas needs his spark evaluated before that anomaly causes him any damage. That is my main concern as of now. Fera will just have to be left to the human doctors." Ratchet pushed off the ledge he had been leaning on and he shuttered his optics, releasing a long sigh from his vents. He obviously hadn't recharged in a long time, and that fact was showing through. A seriousness befell Optimus' processor and he moved forward, placing a servo on his friend's shoulderbolt.

"Right now, the state that he is alive and still processing correctly is miracle enough to not be ignored. Calm yourself and subject to recharge before you collapse. Solas will be sent to your office once you have rested your systems." he ordered softly. For a sparkbeat, they just shared an equal respect. They had been through Pit and back, through haze and destruction to come to where they are now. Ratchet seemed defiant at first, but then his optics shuttered and became bleary, truly showcasing his fatigue. "I have more questions for you later Optimus, count on it." he warned, conceding and turning to walk outside of the room.

They both parted ways, moving on their own down opposite directions of the hall. Optimus found himself once again heading for the lobby, seeming drawn to it for some reason. There was a strange anxiety in his CPU that he hadn't really felt before. Humans would call it a 'sixth sense' of maybe something negative taking affect in their surroundings. Now, that definition seemed to fit well with the situation, causing him to move a little faster to his destination. The alarms were silent and the air was clear of dust, debris, or even cries either human or Cybertronian. If not an attack, what was leading him to such concern?

Optimus carried on to stride down the last few lengths of concrete path, turning into the room with a solicitous manner. The room was clear as he scanned it, yet something was off. Solas was still backed against the wall, and beside himself and the mech, no other forms could be visibly seen or detected by reading. A long pause had taken the room, with nothing said at the Prime's sudden entrance. A certain tensity could be felt, even without immediately looking to Solas.

Finding the situation as nothing dangerous, Optimus relaxed and kept his uneasiness at a dimmer level while he assessed the events before him. Solas was sitting with both arms laid over his kneebolts, an energon cube in one of his servos. His expression was unreadable, but if any word could describe it, it would be anger.

Taking a cautious approach over abrupt, Optimus stepped forward and looked down on the Guardian. Fera was no longer with him, giving Prime an awful assumption that this awkwardness had been somehow committed by some unseen previous skirmish between them. Solas merely swiveled his wrist to make the energon inside the cube swirl. There was a silent knowing that he would speak when ready, so Optimus decided his patience was his best value. So many collisions of feeling and thought should be swarming his cranial unit. He was being afflicted by unseen enemies- suffering a pain none other could truly understand.

No arguments could be placed on Solas that his processor was not where it was supposed to be. He would need that sanity, need that point of consolidation that he could return to if need. If his concerns and his stubborn decision of sitting in wait by the medical facility was anything to go by, Fera was becoming that pillar. No matter what the Guardian would say or any indications otherwise of the fact of his stability, he needed that support. And to say the least, Optimus was glad that he had been familiarized enough with the humans to find comfort in their presence. It had been obvious that the mech had been apprehensive at even touching the beings let alone getting close enough to call one a comrade, but now things seemed different. Maybe making him a Guardian was not such a irrational decision as he had doubted himself of making.

Stopping the circling of his servo, Solas finally seemed to notice the towering mech's presence. His optics flicked up once and then darted back down, as if he was avoiding Optimus' steady gaze. "You saw that?" he asked, his anger draining to only an uncomfortable tone. Optimus dropped his optic ridges and became confused. What had happened since his leave? Certainly it couldn't have been overly disconcerting. Watching for telling signs as he spoke, Optimus responded, "Considering I was not in vicinity while your confrontation was in order, no I did not 'see that'."

For a moment, they locked optics, but Solas once again averted the contact. Was that guilt? "Maybe it was best you hadn't." Solas noted, throwing back the energon cube. The slick blue liquid emptied from the container quickly. He then went on to set the cube on the ground and wipe the excess from his lip plates. Optimus shuttered his optics and hunched slightly, trying to make the mech more comfortable to speak. Solas didn't appear truly interested in the conversation at the moment, and that wouldn't help to figure his situation any clearer.

"You are speaking of Fera I assume."

"You would be right."

"What was exchanged between the both of you?"

"Words that may have been best left unsaid."

"Delving deeper into hatred while your true status is lacking in subtlety does not seem to be the best path to take."

Solas gave a rather rude snort of his systems and he shook his cranial unit, looking away again. "You're suggesting I'm weak." he guessed bluntly, a cold edge to his vocal tone. Optimus stood straighter and gained his more solemn of masks. "If you see yourself as that way then I have no right to try to convince you otherwise." he said right back. The Guardian seemed to grow even more distant at this, not answering right away and instead taking his attention to the far side wall.

When he did finally speak again, it was low and on edge of anger. "I am perfectly fine Optimus Prime. My health is my concern and should not be taken into your attention. Fera has been placed into my care by your word and as Guardian, it is my duty to make sure she is safe." it was a simple yet bold statement, followed by two very hard teal-blue optics. Optimus felt his authority waning, giving him an almost uneasy feel from the mech's words. "As your position suggests, you are her sole protector. However," and this gained an unexpected look from the Guardian, "you display that you are suffering deeper than your frame exhibits. This causes me to consider that it is best if you are to explain exactly what was said."

The sudden interest in their conversation had Solas tensing. Optimus narrowed his optics and watched the Autobot with icy coolness. If there had been something mentioned that shouldn't have been, Fera could be in more danger than before. By some way, the Decepticons had gained information involving Fera, thus leading to the burning question as to why the Autobots were holding her so close to themselves. From the sparkbeat Optimus had laid optics on Fera, he'd known just what it was they had taken to. A responsibility far heavier than anything faced before now sit in the near room. A human with the fate of an entire race in her hands.

"Optimus, it is best if I don't." Solas was avoiding both optic contact and conversation now. "Solas Kaon, Fera is indeed seen as a priority. We realize that. However, only yourself and I know of this as of now." Optimus went on. Solas knitted his optics ridges, looking up suspiciously. "What is your point?"

"Her presence is now known by the Decepticons, therefore her significance is also soon to be recognized. If there is any addition to her value in the sights of our adversaries, they will not hesitate to take her from you." this last word had been intentional. It would definitely affect Solas if he was as concerned for his human charge as Optimus suspected him to be. As predicted, the mech once again froze at the words of his leader, and his optics grew dark with worry. Optimus knew that this tactic he was using against Solas was near cruel for the Prime. But he pushed his own views aside to make sure that of Fera's health was his first attention.

Continuing before Solas had a chance to interrupt, Optimus spoke again, "If you were to give her any supplementary knowledge-"

"I didn't tell her of the Stone if that's what you're suggesting." Solas said simply. His optics flicked up and they locked firmly into Optimus'. The Prime paused and chose his words more carefully. "I do not know if what you have told her will endanger her further or will prevent future encounters. That is to be decided when an idea of your subjects of conversation can be stated." his voice was shorter and filled with more of his position as commanding officer than the gentler mech he had previously attempted to express.

Solas was again hesitant in his answer, but he was slowly seen to be breaking down. He lifted a servo and placed the palm against his foreplate, as if he was getting a cranialache. "As a mech of the Autobot faction and a mech who has been known to you since I was put through the academy, I wouldn't do anything to threaten our goal of peace. If that means protecting Fera with my life, then so be it." he moved his digits away, lifting his faceplates to show a determined expression. "Our conversation was merely personal. That's all. No danger shall befall her as long as she is in my care. I'd rather join the Matrix than my duty be so easily broken." the mech was obviously trained on keeping his word, but to what extent?

"Solas, I will not force you to speak what I do not have right to listen to, but our time here is limited. Make sure whatever time you have-" again, he was cut off. This would have irritated Optimus if what the mech said next wasn't so shocking. Was it possible? His faceplates froze mid-sentence and the Prime was left in a rare silence brought on by such surprise. Lip plates snapping shut, Optimus grew very, very grim. Yes, he knew it was possible, he had spoken for it on multiple occasions. They had no solid malice inside of them. Not the entirety of them that was. So this was what he'd been ashamed of.

"My mech creator was a Decepticon."

As Optimus regained his composure, his knowledge slowly crept back to his CPU. They were capable of so much more than most chose to believe. It was in a much deeper core of a Cybertronian to feel the moral rights they were created with. No being possessed complete malevolence. It was impossible. Not even Megatron had held that much immorality.

For a few clicks, they just sat in the silence. This was evidence. It was possible that Decepticons were not as they were first view to be. Solas left his helm in his hands, hiding it. Was he ashamed? What was there to be embarrassed of when your creation was beyond one's control?

"Solas Kaon your creation is not what defines you. Being of that of a Decepticon will not alter your undoubtable loyalty and sense of justice." the mech looked up, "You feel as though possessing the gene of a Decepticon will decide your fate? It is you who knows of your future; you who thinks for himself."

The intention was to make the Guardian feel more at ease. But instead, Solas just dug his digits into his helmet and he growled. He seemed to say something, but Optimus' own audio processors were unable to pick up exactly what was said. Thank Primus no humans were around as of now to witness these past events.

Optimus angled his cranial unit towards Solas and burrowed his optic ridges. "Solas, what we have learned from our wars is that we must not judge by the initial impression." Optimus noted in a much gentler voice. Solas let his servos fall and he took a few intakes of air, pausing. "I have tried moving past my life's foundation. But to be truthful, I am proud of my creators." his cranial unit fell back and leaned on the wall.

"My mech creator was a Decepticon yes, but my fembot creator was not." this new information was left for a few nanoclicks to be sunken in.

Optimus decided not to intervene, giving Solas whatever time he needed to continue. When he did, Prime was at full attention. "She was a Neutral. My mech creator met her somehow and they grew close." this wasn't something that was easily stated, and Solas showed that. He wouldn't keep optic contact for more than a few astroseconds before looking away again. His posture was uncomfortable, yet his vocal tone was steady. Hopefully, whatever information Solas felt too personal to share would be told in time. It was a being's right to choose the best for themselves. It was a known that every mech and fembot held their own secrets and darker experiences. Whether they wished to share so or not was their choice.

"When they found the want to become bonded, my mech creator denounced his position as a Decepticon to join as a Neutral with my fembot creator. I was created and we lived in peace for but a few vorns." again, he stopped. But, this time, he persisted to stand, relying heavily on the wall behind him. "I was in my second casing when they chose to create my sibling. At some point during the war, soon after the casing of my sibling's spark, myself and my creators became separated." Optimus was given a brief overview of each new soldier to come under his command. Solas had his own, but his had been unusually short, so he had been unable to truly see just what this mech had gone through. All that he had just couldn't be put down in record though. Not how he'd experienced it.

It was clear what he would speak next, but again, Optimus didn't mutter a word. This was needed to expel the negativity in Solas' spark. As Prime had been informed, 'talking about it' worked rather well on both human and even Cybertronian psychology. Solas was example of this.

"My father was killed by Decepticon soldiers. My sibling and I were the only relief from the slow death my fembot creator was being placed through. But even then, it didn't last." Solas shifted and pushed himself to stand in a more solid position on the floor. "I was sent for supplies before returning to a deadspark fembot creator and an equally as inanimate sibling." he finished simply.

There was no emotion to his words. It was as if he had spoken this story multiple times over to more than just Optimus. But then there were the signs of sadness and pain that wafted off the frame of the mech that gave away his hidden interior. Such heavy weights to carry on one pair of shoulderbolts, he thought sadly. Solas apparently didn't desire the support as much as he needed it. But through his aggravated and often cheeky demeanor, he surely held some longing of one who could aid him in his journey? Optimus often found strength in the comrades and hope he found around him. Along with the return of his sparkmate and the addition of his unexpected sparkling, those hopes had soared. Now, who was it that was going to help carry the burden of a world with the young warrior?

Things are settling down a bit, but it's still as gloomy as ever...

I swear this isn't some Cybertronian soap opera, trust me -_-