Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance.

Hello friends! I've finally written a somewhat decent version of this chapter, and I hope you like it, because that's why I keep writing. Thank you for reading this even though it's so late!

In a sick, twisted way, I wanted Chad to hurt me again so I'd have something to focus on besides the loss of my best and only friend. I wanted to shut out the outside noise and focus on something besides my swirling thoughts and overpowering emotions. I wanted a distraction.I needed a distraction.

I rested my eyes on the sight of my fingers intertwined with Chad's, an idea suddenly forming in my head. It was the worst plan I'd ever come up with, and yet I threw myself into it whole-heartedly. Quickly, hungrily, I threw myself over the table and pressed my lips to Chad's, kissing him with all the strength I could muster.

He must have had the same train of thought as I did, because he wasted no time in yanking me closer, his lips attached to mine with the same amount of unrestrained passion, his eyes whispering secrets into my soul as we kissed. He tasted like mint and heartbreak, and I couldn't get enough.

Distraction, an old friend once said, is the cause of the downfall of humanity. Wherever it goes, destruction and pain follow. I no longer believed that, because I no longer believed in him. Skylar, in all his lethal grace and glory, was my downfall. Anything after that was just collateral damage.

…..

Five hours and three showers later, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, tracing the faint outline of bruises on my neck left from Chad's lips. I couldn't shake the feel of his mouth on me, no matter how many times I scrubbed my skin. I felt unclean despite the showers. There was a pit low in my stomach, banging on my intestines until I felt I would be sick. Not for the first time this week, I felt broken and used.

I shut my eyes tightly, forcing myself to take five deep breaths before I turned off the bathroom light and walked to my room to get dressed. My sheets were stripped bare, and I hung my towel on the back of my door as I searched for some clean clothes to put on before leaving the house. I needed some fresh air to think more clearly.

As I pulled on a long black-and-white-striped shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans, I saw a photo of my best friend and me out of the corner of my eye. A fresh wave of guilt hit me as I hurriedly walked over to my nightstand and put the picture face down so the people in it couldn't judge me behind my back. I didn't like the way they were looking at me.

I walked into the living room and grabbed my keys before heading out into the cool night air. Immediately, I felt better. It was too hard being at the scene of the crime, and with each step I took, I felt freer. I no longer felt like the shallow, impulsive twenty year old who had, against her better judgment, repeated old mistakes.

I suddenly realized I'd made it to the same park bench Skylar took me to the night he told me how he felt, and I gripped the sides of it tightly, my heart pounding as the world tilted slightly around me. My stomach heaved, but there was nothing in it to regurgitate. I shook violently, suddenly wishing I had a jacket to hide in.

Finally, the gagging ceased, and I sat down on the bench, feeling the cool wood beneath me as I shut my eyes. I pulled my knees up on the bench so I was sitting cross-legged, focusing on my breathing. Could it be possible that four hours ago I had slept with Chad Dylan Cooper for the second time? Could I really have been that stupid?

Self-consciously, I pulled my hair over my shoulder so it covered the marks on my neck, willing them to disappear. I had gotten more of a distraction than I bargained for with Chad, and I didn't know what to do with myself now. I was hyperaware of the fact I hadn't even told Skylar the first time I'd had sex with Chad. What I'd done today was unforgivable.

The wind whipped around me, screaming in my ears. I could hear Skylar's voice calling to me in the air, and I quickly opened my eyes, hoping that would make it go away. Unfortunately, I was never that lucky, and it hadn't been my imagination. He stood ten feet away, the perfect picture of my worst nightmare.

My eyes were glued to him, and he froze, clearly afraid he had upset me. Little did he know I had bypassed upset and gone straight to devastated. Seeing him only made everything hurt more intensely, and I unconsciously pulled my arms tighter around my torso.

Hesitantly, Skylar walked forward until he was sitting next to me, both of us staring straight ahead. I could feel the tension in the atmosphere, and I wished he would just go away. I couldn't face him after everything that had happened. I couldn't make this better, either. We had both made our choices, and now we had to deal with them.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours while I drowned in shame before Skylar turned to me, his eyes gentle. He didn't look at me with hate or revulsion, only trust and love. He didn't know what a horrible person I was. "I am so sorry, Sonny." He spoke so quietly I thought I had imagined it until I noticed him watching me, waiting for me to react.

I bit my lip, blinking back tears, and immediately his hand was on my arm in concern. It was an innocent gesture, and so neither of us were quite prepared when I smacked his arm off forcefully and shot up off the bench in one swift motion. "Don't," I warned, my voice hoarse. "Don't touch me."

Skylar raised his arms up in surrender, and I took a few steps closer again, my cheeks burning bright red. I focused all my energy on keeping calm as I went to sit next to him. "Sorry," I whispered, looking down at my hands.

"Don't apologize," Skylar replied softly, sighing. "It's all my fault. I should have said something sooner. I will never forgive myself, Sonny, you have to know that. I care about you so much, and I need you to know that you will always come first. I know what I did was inexcusable. Do you think that maybe, someday, we could get back to normal?" His voice broke then, and he looked away, clearly not wanting me to see him cry.

It took me a minute to respond, and when I did, I felt the heavy truth of my words. "No, Skylar, I don't think so." I knew now I never deserved him. He would always put me first, and I didn't think I could handle that when there was so much he didn't know about, so much I had done to hurt him. The worst part was that I couldn't even find it in me to be angry with him when I knew he loved me so selflessly, and I had ruined everything to spite him for something he hadn't done on purpose.

Skylar took a deep breath, clearly accepting my words without a fight. He blamed himself, I could see, and it was with this knowledge that I acted, tentatively reaching out and laying a shaking, cold hand on top of his. He squeezed my hand tightly in his, and this undeserved comfort gave me the courage to speak. "I love you more than anything. You aren't just a friend to me, Skylar, you're my salvation." I felt the tears again, but this time I didn't stop them, and they ran down my cheeks in a salty stream of heartbreak. "Whenever I'm lost, I know that if I found you, I'd find myself, too. But I can't be selfish anymore." My voice was barely even a whisper, and I looked straight into his beautiful brown eyes as I admitted, "I don't deserve you."

Despite my words, I allowed him to wrap his arms around me as he murmured, "Nothing you say will make me love you any less, Sonny. You deserve so much more than I can give you, but you will always have any part of me you want. I would give up everything for you."

I pushed him away abruptly, wiping away my tears. He had to see that I wasn't worth it, that he needed to let me go. With as much indifference as I could muster, I finally told the truth. "You know what I did today, Skylar? I slept with Chad." I laughed deliriously, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "It wasn't even the first time. I slept with him when we were teenagers, too, and I never even told you about it. You put all this faith in someone who was a liar from the beginning."

Skylar stiffened immediately, setting his jaw determinedly. "I don't believe you. You're just saying that because you know it will get to me."

With a flick of my hand, I pulled my hair back, making the purple bruises on my neck visible in the pale moonlight. "It's true. All of it. And I've been feeling so horribly guilty about not telling you, but now we're both free. You don't have to feel bad or anything. You can finally let me go." I stood up, running a hand gently down his cheek one last time before walking away from this place with too many memories, too many scars. Ironically, I felt more weighed down than ever.

…

Early the next morning, I slung a bag over my shoulder and grabbed my cell phone before leaving my apartment. With everything that had happened, I couldn't sit around anymore, so I was headed to work at the crack of dawn. It would do me some good to get back to some semblance of normalcy in spite of the craziness of my life.

It was just my luck that when I got there and checked my phone, I had three missed calls from Chad, the last one having come in at four in the morning. I had been so focused on my betrayal I had completely forgotten I wasn't the only one affected by this new development. Regardless of what I wanted, I knew I needed to call him back. I held the phone up to my ear as it rang, too exhausted to be apprehensive.

Chad picked up on the second ring, his voice much too alert for the time. "Sonny? Thank God, I've been trying to call you for hours. Listen, I need you to do me a favor, okay? I have to go in to work at nine, so I need you to come over and take care of Brit while I'm gone."

My jaw dropped, and I almost lost my grip on the phone as I sputtered, "What?!" I couldn't believe this. I don't know what I expected when I called, but it certainly was not this. "You want me to go over there and take care of her after everything that happened yesterday? I swear to God, Chad Dylan Cooper, I could wring your neck right now!"

He laughed casually, shushing me. "Chill, Sonny, it's not like it's a big deal. Let's not make a big deal out of this. And as for Brit, it's not like we were exclusive." He laughed again, and the sound made my blood boil. "So can you come?"

"No, I can't come, Chad!" I roared, and hung up on him. Yesterday he'd seemed so heartbroken. Either he was a better actor than I thought or yesterday genuinely meant nothing to him. Either way, I was caught completely off guard. Once again, I had given in to exactly what Chad wanted. Once again, I was the fool, and he was victorious. This time, I knew, there would be no one there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

…..

Two months later, I finally turned twenty one, and the only celebration I had was drinking my weight in tequila at a sketchy night club in Los Angeles. I had spent the night dancing with any guy who asked, and my vision was blurry by the time the clock struck midnight.

I laughed drunkenly, placing a sloppy kiss on my newest dance partner's mouth. Matthew – or was it Andrew? – pulled me closer and ran his hands along my waist. I was still loosening up when I felt someone pull him away and grab me by the hand. I frowned, as I had been enjoying myself, until I realized who it was. As always, Chad had to ruin everything.

I yanked my hand away, my cheeks turning scarlet. "Go away, Cooper. I have nothing to say to you." He rolled his eyes, as if he wanted to give me another reason to be angry. "Let me be clear. I think you're disgusting. I think you're a sell-out. I think you let Brit get away with whatever she wants because she makes you horny." I crossed my arms. "I think you're shallow."

Chad, sighed, grabbing my hand again and pulling me to a quieter area of the club. "Look, Sonny, I get it. It was a dick move, and I'm sorry I hurt you. I guess I didn't realize you took sex so seriously. I mean, you and Skylar were doing it like bunnies, right?"

I growled, crossing my arms. "Actually, Chad, you're the only person I've ever slept with, so it's a big deal to me. I'm sorry you're so emotionally stunted you felt nothing. Just forget it, okay? I don't want to talk to you." I knew I was revealing too much, but in my drunken stupor I couldn't stop. The words kept pouring out. "I thought maybe, for once, you were more than a robotic asshole who couldn't care less about anyone but himself. Stupid, huh?"

"Wow," he muttered, finally defensive. At least he was taking something seriously. "Why don't you tell me how you really feel, Sonny? I mean it, don't hold back. Throw a few more punches. Happy birthday, by the way," he spat, and for the first time I realized he was holding a small box in his right hand. He dropped it on a nearby table, spinning around to leave.

"Wait, Chad," I called, watching him walk away. Maybe I had been too harsh, but he had a habit of getting under my skin. In any case, it was too late. He was gone.

Sighing, I picked up the small box he left behind, opening it as curiosity overruled my annoyance. Inside laid a small gold locket and a note. I picked up the note, dumbfounded. It read,

"I'm sorry I'm such a jerk. Sometimes I have trouble expressing the way I feel, probably because honesty lends itself to vulnerability. But with you, I don't feel vulnerable. I feel safe, and alive. I feel like I can be the person you think I am. I don't have to hide with you, Sonny. Thank you for that. Happy birthday."

I opened the locket, and the inside was engraved, "When all else fails, I'll try again." I shut it gently, clutching it for a moment before putting it back into its box. It was too much to take in right now, especially with all the mixed emotions I felt for him stronger than ever.

With a sigh, I tucked the small box into my pocket and pulled out my phone to call a cab, suddenly wishing I had never allowed Chad Dylan Cooper back in my life. It was time to face reality. I needed to make things up to my best friend.

I've literally written this chapter three times, and I'm finally satisfied. I'm not sure how much is left in this story, but it's moving along. Thank you for all the support. I hope that whatever is going on in your life right now, this reminds you of the good old Sonny with a Chance days. I know it reminds me. SMILES!

LOL