A/N: You know what? I should ask Santa if I could own Les Mis as my Christmas present, because I don't own anything. I don't own the McDonalds Franchise either.

Good Riddance

Montparnasse held the ice pack to his crotch. It seemed that Eponine had a streak with hitting guys' balls. Luckily, she didn't recognize him, but she was witty. Eventually, she would catch on, and he just "regained" her trust.

"You a'ight, 'Parnasse?" Thenardier asked him as he sat down with a beer.

"Yes, sir," he grunted. "The deal is still set, isn't it?"

"It is. Just keep your part of it, and you'll get your share."

Ever since Enjolras realized he loved her (God! He still couldn't believe it!), he was wondering what to do next. Obviously, he wasn't one to jump into something without thinking. He knew the consequences. If he fully acknowledged these feelings, he would be distracted from his work and activities, but if he didn't he would be… distracted from work. It was a lose-lose situation. The big problem was, no matter what he did, Eponine wouldn't want a boyfriend. So what was he supposed to do? Just pine after her until she returned the feelings?

It was a slow process, but Enjolras decided to take one step at a time. Step number one: break up with Colette. Colette gained half of her popularity off of the fact that she was dating him, and so, not only was he ridding of her in his life, he was lowering her status. Deep down inside though, he knew that that was a little harsh, but heck, she was a female dog (the b word is not appropriate on his tongue.) Now, all he needed to do was find out how to break up with her.

Enjolras called up Courfeyrac, the friend he trusted when it came to girls. After two of the three rings, he picked up.

"Hey. What's wrong? Did you land in jail? Do you need help to bust out of detention? Wait, did you get detention?" Courfeyrac immediately asked.

"Hi. Nothing. No. No, and no," Enjolras stated bluntly.

"Oh, sorry. It's just you never call me unless there's an emergency or you need help to get out of trouble."

"Technically," he sighed, "I do need your help you get out of trouble."

He heard a laugh and then Courfeyrac responded, "Oh, boy. What did you do?"

"I told you before. Nothing!"

"Then what the heck do you need help with? God!"

Enjolras suddenly regretted asking Courfeyrac. He wasn't very upfront with his feelings, hence the name "marble man," but he did need help. Courfeyrac was probably laughing his butt of at Enjolras. Breaking up was easy for Courfeyrac, but to him, it was like killing someone.

He took a deep breath, "Colette… up… bad… um… hurt… uh… yeah."

"What?"

"Good god, don't laugh at me!"

Courfeyrac sounded exasperated, "I'm not!" Enjolras could practically see him put his hands up in defense.

He sighed, "I need to break up with Colette. She's just killing me."

"FINALLY! TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH OF A BITCH SHE IS!"

"Woah! I never wanted to date her. My parents forced me."

Courfeyrac scoffed at his comment. "You always claim that you don't listen to your 'snob of a family.'"

"Not the point. Will you help me? I don't like her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings either."

"Oh, Apollo, you can't be nice all the time. Sometimes you have to be heartless to move on."

"Isn't there another way?" Enjolras asked impatiently. He didn't expect the conversation to go on for so long.

"So you want to end your relationship, but you don't want to hurt her?"

"Yes."

"Well then, I have plenty of options for you, my boy," Courfeyrac snickered. Enjolras could have sworn that Courfeyrac took out a whiteboard and some dry erase markers.

Enjolras hesitated, but then he took the plunge.

They decided that since Enjolras wasn't the type to hurt someone, they would try to get Colette to break up with him. Attempt #1 took place a week after on a Friday Enjolras and Courfeyrac had the talk. This plan wasn't very complicated. All Enjolras had to do was go out on a date with Colette in a very fancy restaurant and "accidentally" spill some sprite or coke. Maybe he should use coffee!

Enjolras looked into Courfeyrac's mirror as he straightened his collar. Enjolras didn't want his parents to know about what he was going to do, not that they would notice. They were always talking with their bourgeoisie friends whenever he was home. Besides, dressing up at Courfeyrac's place was a bit nicer, especially since he had some of his friends to back him up.

Eponine was supposed to be working on a science project with Courfeyrac that night, and it just so happened it was the night Enjolras had to prepare for his date. He swore in his mind that it was predestined, but he didn't bother telling anyone that.

A light knock was heard before a small dark haired girl poked her head through the door. Eponine smirked at his image. She opened the door fully, leaning against the door frame and showing her full figure. Eponine was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt with her hair in a bun. A pencil was tucked at the back of her right ear.

Enjolras looked at her reflection in the mirror, smiling slightly when they made eye contact. He grabbed his bow tie from the nearby table, ready to show off his skills. He tied the piece of silk around his collar, following the motions he had learned so long ago. Looking down, he smiled, and then he grumbled.

The bow tie wasn't even a bow, or tie. It was more like a knot, and several other knots. Eponine snickered at his failed attempt, walking into the room and sitting on the bed, but not for too long because Enjolras groaned again.

"Well don't just sit there! Help me!" he whined, throwing his hands in exasperation.

Eponine out her hands up in surrender. "Poor baby pretty boy. Can't tie his bow tie. A 'please' would be nice."

"Please?" he asked again.

"No."

"What?! But you just said you're help me!"

"No I didn't."

"Can you just help me?"

"What's my favorite Broadway show?" Eponine asked with a smirk.

"Easy: Oliver!" Enjolras shrugged.

Eponine got up, walking between him and the mirror. "Good. We'll see how much of a friend you are, so be alert. You probably forgot a lot about me."

"I didn't. How do I forget things about you?" Awkward. That came out a little too cheesy. Eponine looked anywhere but his tomato face.

"Red is a nice color on you." Eponine took the end pieces of silk, twisting and knotting in the right way. She smiled, straightening the tie once she was done.

Stepping out of the way of the mirror, she showed him what he looked like. He looked like the typical, hot boy, but 10 times hotter. His hair was brushed perfectly so it was made to look like a perfect halo. The suit hugged him in all the right places, making him seem even taller than he already was and enhancing his lean form. His bow tie was red, drawing attention from the black and white suit and to his face and neck.

The bow tie was perfect, and Enjolras thanked her. "Thanks. How do you know how to tie this?"

"Gavroche had some piano recitals," Eponine mentioned, earning a laugh from Enjolras. "But I didn't tell you that."

"Tell me what?" he asked, winking after.

Eponine laughed, touching and examining different objects in the room before returning back to him. She scoffed. "You like fucking Ken, Barbie's boyfriend, but with better hair."

"Thanks?" Enjolras responded. After a couple minutes of sneaking glances and awkward silence, Courfeyrac shouted for Enjolras to hurry up.

They started to exit the room, turning off the lights as they went by. They relished the couple of minutes they had alone just walking down the dimly lit hall. Soon their moments alone ended, and they met Courfeyrac.

"Well, you look spiffy," Courfeyrac laughed.

"You guys are really not helping my self-esteem," Enjolras murmured. The clock struck eight, signaling him to get going.

"Well, I'm going to see the Wicked Witch of the West. I'll see you all later," Enjolras said. He walked to the door and stuffed his hands in his pockets. As he went down the porch's steps, he heard Eponine whisper his name. After he turned his head, he saw her poking her head out the door like before.

"If you don't look forward to go on a date with her, why go?" Eponine asked.

Enjolras and Courfeyrac hadn't told her yet, and they intended not to. The less people who knew about their plan the better.

He shrugged, looking anywhere but the door. "I think it's best to make peace with her and at least try to know her."

"You do too much good," Eponine snickered. She walked down the steps and towards him, giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

"Have fun," she breathed, letting her words become white mist in the cold night. Then she made her way back to the house, leaving him to contemplate what had just happened.

"Why are you suddenly showing so much interest in me?" Colette asked, smirking. She walked her hand over to his and grazed his hand.

He tried hard not to shiver at the cold touch. Maybe that candle in the center of the table could help him warm up. Maybe if he let it fall, all of this would burn, his past memories, the girl he did not like, the rich restaurant that his parents loved. But he had to keep this fake date up.

"Well, I decided that I have been very rude to you. I've decided to-uh- get to know you more," he lied.

She smiled. "Thank you. This is why I like you." Not just because of the money? He thought.

A waiter stopped by at their table to hand them their drinks, his coke, her iced tea. Before she left, she looked at Enjolras, batting her eyes. "Would you like anything more sir?" Colette stirred her drink louder, laughing lightly.

Curiously, the waiter turned. "Is something wrong, miss?"

Colette bit her lip. "No. My boyfriend here was just playing with me. Cut it out! We're in public!"

Enjolras stared at her, alarmed, at what she was implying. He would never do such a thing! The waiter, obviously embarrassed, rushed away.

"Colette!" he hissed. "You don't do that kind of thing! Especially in front of someone!"

"But she was looking at you when I was right in front of her!" she pouted.

"That doesn't mean you can say something like that!" Enjolras scolded. Involuntarily, he swung his arms around. The table started to shake from all his movement. The candle flickered faster and the drinks swished. "It's degrading to me and you. They'll think you're my mistress and it just isn't right!" He pounded his fists against the table, being the cause for the giant spill. Both glasses started to tip over to his side, but since Colette had fast reflexes, she pushed the table back down to her side, causing the drinks to fall in her direction. Both the iced tea and coke spilled over her silk black dress. Thankfully the candle didn't fall.

Wow, I am good at messing up dates! Plan #1, mission accomplished, Enjolras thought.

Colette's eyes widened and her fists clenched. She glanced up, her face red. Red with anger or red with embarrassment, Enjolras couldn't tell. All he knew was that he was screwed.

"Gosh, Colette! I'm so sorry… I swear, I didn't mean for that to happen—" actually I did but…

She forced her eyes shut as waiters all came to help with the mess, handing her towels and cleaning up the shattered glass. He could tell that behind her calming breaths, she was seething. The tips of her ears were still cherry colored.

Once all the waiters were dismissed, Colette opened her eyes and forced a smile on her face. "You know, I don't really have an appetite tonight. And don't worry Enjolras, it was just a dress. Nothing I can't fix. Maybe we can try this again, hopefully not spilling a drink."

She glided over to him, giving him a peck on the cheek. "I'll be in the car. You pay." And then she left the scene as if nothing happened.

Enjolras looked at her with his mouth gaping as she walked away. How did she just walk away from that without killing him?

A stout man with a moustache tapped him on shoulder, handing him the bill. Enjolras scowled, shoving his credit card into his hands. Plan A didn't work, but heck, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

The next day, Enjolras decided to make up for their previous date the night before. The faster he could get rid of her, the closer he was to being Eponine's boyfriend, but he wasn't going to force her into a relationship.

"So where are we going?" Colette asked excited. "The library to study? Or maybe the park! Or are you taking me to one of your secret hideouts with your friends?"

Enjolras stepped the gas and lurched forward when he imagined the frightening mess that would happen if he were to ever bring Colette near his friends.

"Don't worry, Colette," Enjolras whispered. "We're almost there."

He drove into a side street and continued down the road until he saw the golden arches and red roof.

"Here we are! McDonalds!" he exclaimed. In return in her heard a soft gasp. He turned to her in the passenger's seat. She sat there, her eyes enlarged in horror at the sight. He didn't see what was so wrong about the establishment. They had decent food at cheap prices. What more could he ask for?

"Please tell me we are not eating here…" she whispered.

"Surprise, Surprise," he said as he got out of his car.

She did so too, but more hesitant. He opened the door for her and told her to sit down somewhere while he ordered. She looked unsure, but then she agreed and headed off to sit somewhere.

He knew what he was going to order already, making the process quick. He grabbed the tray and set it down on the table. Colette had chosen a table near the window and door. He presented her with the juicy, crunchy processed chicken called McNuggets.

"What are those?" Colette pointed at them.

"Chicken nuggets. McDonalds style." He smiled and then urged her to take one.

She picked up the food, examining it. After a reassuring smile from him, she bit the piece and… kept biting. It wasn't so bad.

"They're not that bad!" Colette exclaimed.

Enjolras grabbed a piece for himself and took a bite. Smiling, he was waiting for her to ask her usual question.

"So, what is it made of?" There it was.

"Ammonium hydroxide, a.k.a. pink slime," he told her casually.

At the corner of his eye, he saw her grab a napkin and spit it all out. When he turned to her, she was pleading with her eyes to go somewhere else. Enjolras never fell for these types of things, but this time he was overwhelmed with pity and grabbed the box of nuggets, leaving the restaurant. He heard her follow and breathe a sigh of relief.

Okay, plan B didn't work either.

The Amis met for lunch the next day at the Musain. They all decided to take a break from the weekend of overwhelming homework and volunteering. If you were on the main level of the Musain, you would be wondering what the hell was happening overhead. Sometimes, Madame Houcheloup regrets ever letting them take that spot up above and letting them decorate it however they want, but those kids were just like her family.

Eponine bounced back and forth from the floor and trampoline while sucking on her lollipop. It was nice to have a normal day like this where Enjolras and Combeferre stood over maps of the school on the table in the center of the room, finding new ways to sabotage the areas to inform people about their cause. Grantaire would always be on the drawing wall with makers in his apron while he tried to discreetly push Jehan more to the edge of the wall with his long, beautiful poems. Then Feuilly would frustrate Grantaire more by taking up some of the space he had called for himself. Cosette and Marius would be cuddling on the seat of the window. Joly would be treating Bossuet's most recent wounds while Musichetta brought them tea or coffee, leading to Bossuet burning his tongue. Bahorel and Courfeyrac would usually join her on their trampoline/chair/bed, but today they were bothering Enjolras and Combeferre, mostly the former.

"How are all of the dates with Colette going, 'Jolras?" Courfeyrac asked. All heads turned to the center of the room. Enjolras got red at the sudden attention and he glared at Courfeyrac.

"But I thought you didn't like her?" Bahorel boomed.

"I don't- well- the thing is-" he tried to think of ways to explain why he was going out on dates with her without fully revealing his plan.

"So do you like her?" Eponine asked from her corner.

"Um, I'm going on dates with her to get to know her better. You know, I feel like I was being prejudiced."

Jehan sighed, "That's so sweet of you!" Everyone turned to him with the "wtf" look. "Right, sorry. Forgot that she was a bitch for a second there."

There were a couple laughs here and there before everybody returned to what they were doing before.

Eponine watched Enjolras from her spot. There was more to the story than he let on, and she knew that.

Plan C was taken into action a few hours after the meeting. This plan was supposed to be really easy, that is until Courfeyrac completely forgot that it was to happen at an ice skating rink and decided to invite all of the Amis to the exact damn ice skating rink. And of course, all of them had to be open later that night and accept.

Enjolras told Colette he would meet her there. He pushed his gigantic glasses up his nose and slid his retainer in. Even though he hadn't had braces in two years, his orthodontist decided to torture him and make him wear it. Enjolras pulled on his favorite sweater, the one his grandma knit that had Rudolf on it. Yes, this plan would do the trick. If Colette liked what she saw too much, this would surely ruin it all, and this time, he hoped he was right.

As he made his way down his staircase, he saw his mother screech.

"Oh my GOD! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, GABRIEL? YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE LIKE THAT!" she screamed. Her voice carried though the house. Now he knew where he got his voice from. Well, not the pitch.

"Mom, relax," he rolled his eyes. "I feel offended that you don't appreciate what you created."

She walked over to him, big eyes and fake smile. "Honey, I love you for you, but our reputation… it's very crucial. I can't have a son looking like that, now can I?"

Enjolras pretended to think, and then nodded. "You can." And he walked out the door. Initiate plan C.

Asdfadsfasdfasdfadsfadsf

Enjolras sat on a bench with his ice skates on when he saw Colette walk in, and with a group of her friends. He laughed. This was getting better every moment!

She shooed her friends off and began looking for him. He turned his back to her, letting his familiar blonde halo lure her in. He felt a tap on his shoulder before he turned. A gasp and then an apology escaped her lips.

"I'm so sorry sir! I was looking for my boyfriend and your hair is very much like his…" she apologized.

"But Colette. Ithz me. Ithz me, Enjolrath," he said, hugging her. It seemed destiny wanted to let Les Amis watch their leader as a dork because they came walking in at that moment, watching the scene that unfurled in front of them.

"Enjolras?" Colette asked. He heard some of her friends snicker behind them. "But you have g-glasses. And a retainer."

"Ithz there a pwoblem? Don't you like me fow me?" Enjolras asked pouting his lips.

"Listen, I've been meaning to do this for a while," Colette suddenly said. She signaled for him to sit down. "I need to break up with you. We just aren't made together. Goodbye."

"But Colette!" he reached out for her hand, but she pulled it away, horrified at what she saw. She ran from him, her friends following, and out the door they went.

A whoop was heard and then he was swept up by his friends.

"Ding dong! The Bitch is Gone!" Grantaire shouted. A few happy words and then they were all off to skate together.

Before Enjolras went to join them, he took a water bottle and drank from it, taking out his retainers after.

"You know, you planned those dates pretty well," Eponine said behind him. He jumped, almost choking on his water.

"Oh," he chuckled, "Well, I had some help from Courf."

"I don't see why she found you appalling. I think you looked like a little, adorable nerd."

He blushed and smiled. She nodded and grabbed a water bottle too. She held it up, mocking the form of a cheer.

"Good riddance?" she asked.

He hit his bottle against hers. "Great riddance."

A/N: SHE'S ALIVE! Yes, I know. Sorry it's been forever, but teachers decided that teens shouldn't have social lives and bury themselves with homework. :P Oh, well here's the chapter. What do you think?

-Franky