"So, you really are like... friends with her now or something?" Bellamy asked, popping back into Clarke's art room about fifteen minutes after Lexa had left.

Distracted, the blonde took a few seconds to realize that Bellamy was behind her, let alone that he'd said anything. "Oh. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. She wanted to know if I needed any help in here."

"So she just showed up?"

Clarke froze, her gaze leaving her easel as she sighed. Setting down her paintbrush, she forced herself to turn around an face Bellamy. "Yeah."

His brown eyes shifted over to look at Clarke's now empty coffee cup on her table, which sat neatly next to her phone. "So, you don't have her phone number?" Clarke didn't fall for his questioning glance and lunge for her phone, and she let him grab it.

"Nope."

"You wouldn't mind me checking?"

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" she asked back, glad in this moment that she'd never told any of her friends her usual phone password. She turned around to face her work in progress painting again, biting down on her lip nervously as she felt Bellamy's presence behind her.

In retrospect, kissing Lexa back was probably a very bad idea. Sure, it wasn't illegal to kiss someone consensually, but the issue was what the kiss meant, the gravity that it held. Because Clarke and Lexa were in two different worlds, and those worlds couldn't mesh.

But Clarke couldn't help but still feel the warmth of Lexa's lips on hers, and she wondered briefly whether Lexa actually liked her or not. Sure, the kiss was there and also the fact that Lexa seemed to be so persistent on spending time with the blonde, but the younger girl was going through her teenage rebellion. Even if she did think she had feelings for Clarke, and didn't like guys as she had said earlier, it was entirely possible that those feelings stemmed from a lesbian tendency that Lexa had buried into her rebellious phase.

After all, Lexa had nearly agreed to have sex with Finn.

"Your password is your mom's name, really?" Bellamy asked, causing Clarke to slump a little. "Don't you hate her or something?"

"I never talk about her, so hardly anyone knows her name. How'd you know it?" Clarke felt slightly defeated, and she abandoned her work in progress for now and turned to go sit in one of the chairs by her table. Bellamy had sat down by now, and he was probably looking at her text messages. "Could you give me my damn phone?"

"So she texted to ask if she could come over," Bellamy stated, setting the phone down in front of Clarke. The blonde, trying to distract herself from the very person Bellamy wanted to talk about, grabbed for her coffee cup. It took her only a second to remember that it was empty, and she was forced to answer Bellamy, even though he hadn't spoken the statement as a question.

"Yes."

"And she has your number how?"

"I gave it to her."

Bellamy let out a sigh. "Clarke... you said that there's nothing going on."

"Because there's not," Clarke lied. Before, she hadn't been lying. But now... with the kiss... she was officially lying to her best friend. "Like I said, she's been wanting to help me set this place up. And frankly, I needed the help."

"And now?"

"Now... I don't know. I guess we're friends."

"Alright... You just... you're normally so closed off and kinda brash. You don't ever really try to get close to people. You don't even try to get closer to any of us," Bellamy stated.

"What about you?"

"I basically forced you to open up to me years ago, Clarke," Bellamy reminded her, narrowing his eyes at her, "because you need to trust some people."

"So what's the problem?" Clarke demanded, crossing her arms self consciously.

Bellamy pursed his lips. "The problem is that the girl you are now finding yourself friends with isn't even an adult yet. She still has a whole year of high school. And I don't think any of us could deny that she does look a bit older – and she's obviously attractive. And recently, you've had definitely more of a pull to other girls..."

"Bell," Clarke cut him off, feeling her cheeks flush already. "I'm not going to do anything illegal."

"I would never assume that you would," Bellamy told her, and Clarke's eyebrows knit together.

"I don't get it, what are you trying to tell me then?"

"I think you like her, and I don't think it's about sex like it would've been for Finn." Bellamy stood up, towering over Clarke as she remained seated. "And I don't think that's something you should necessarily be getting yourself into."

Clarke remained silent.

"I've gotta head out. See you soon," he said, turning and walking out of the room. Clarke watched him leave, and then she set her arms on the table in front of her and let her head collapse onto them. Of course she liked Lexa – she wasn't an idiot when it came to feelings. She knew what it felt like to like someone.

Bellamy was worried about her opening up to someone and then having no choice but to lose them. At least, she thought that's what he was having a problem with. Little did he know, however, that she'd just about spilled the worst of her past to the very girl that everyone was insinuating she was secretly seeing just half an hour earlier.

But wasn't she doing exactly that?

Lexa couldn't sleep on Saturday night. After being forced to sit through an impromptu dinner with her mom and another professor once she'd come home, she escaped up to her bedroom and fell into her bed gratefully. Staring at the ceiling was her favorite way to reflect on the what the fuckmoments of life.

Kissing Clarke was definitely one of those moments. She'd been so stupid to kiss her. She still couldn't understand why the blonde had kissed her back, but no matter that reason, it was still wrong of her to kiss Clarke. It'd been in the heat of the moment. She'd just told Clarke about her being pretty sure that she didn't like boys, after the blonde had admitted her past, and it had just felt like the right thing to do.

But it couldn't be, because Lexa was four years younger than Clarke, who was about to be finished with college.

But Clarke had kissed her back...

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut, taking in a deep breath. "Don't think about it," she told herself softly.

It was easier said than done. It kept her up for most of the night – she slept for maybe two hours out of the eight that she laid in her bed.

She spent Sunday with Anya, pretending that she was once again a typical teenage girl hanging out with her best friend, like there weren't a thousand thoughts plaguing her mind. She pretended that Clarke's name on her phone wasn't taunting her, that every time Anya brought up boys it somehow excited her, that the last thing she wanted to do wasn't to be a typical teenage girl.

Luna texted her sometime late in the evening, asking if she wanted to go to the bonfire by the lake.

The bonfires were usually college things, but there were always a handful of teenagers who went. There had been mostly high school bonfires over the summer, but now that a new semester at Polis University was about to start, Lexa knew that the lake would be crawling with college aged people.

A year ago, that would've made her refuse, but lately she'd been going to bonfires with Luna a lot. "Hey," she said to her best friend, "feel like a bonfire?"

"Did Luna invite you?" Anya asked dryly.

"Yeah."

"Then, no. I think I'll pass," Anya answered, standing up and grabbing her things off of Lexa's desk. "We have school tomorrow, you know? Getting wasted is probably a stupid idea."

"I'm not going to get wasted," Lexa insisted, glaring at her friend as she gripped her phone tightly.

"Whatever. See you through your shades tomorrow." Anya abruptly walked out of her bedroom, and Lexa didn't move until she heard her front door open and then slam violently. Sighing, Lexa opened up a text message.

To Luna – See you there.

She showed up at the bonfire about fifteen minutes later, along the side of the beach like area next to the lake. It was her and Luna's usual meet up spot, and sure enough, her friend was waiting for her there. "Hey," she greeted, curious by the devious grin that Luna had spread across her face.

"College bonfires are back," Luna said with excitement. "Did you go to any last year, before summer?"

"No," Lexa admitted, and Luna's wide eyes were enough to tell her that she was about to experience it in full swing. "Why did they have it today instead of yesterday?"

"There was one yesterday," Luna explained, "so most people who have Monday classes probably went to that one. But some idiots just prefer to party all the time, school be damned."

"Why do I get the feeling that that will be you in college?" she asked, smirking a little as Luna grabbed her wrist and started pulling her toward the bonfire. Quite a few people were there already, laughing, talking and drinking as per usual.

"Please, I'll be so responsible," Luna answered with a snicker. "Anyway, not all of us want to go to college for the education like you do, Lexa."

"What do you want to go to college for then?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "The sake of going, I guess? That doesn't matter, though, come on, let's go pretend that we're college girls."

The thought made Lexa somewhat nauseous, all things considered, but she didn't object as Luna pulled her up to a group of college guys and started flirting. She found one of them looking at her and she gave him a shy hello, before turning her attention back to the group. There was no way that she was going to end up in any sort of situation like the one with Finn. Not to mention, she wasn't even remotely interested in the idea of hooking up with any of these people.

She knew exactly why that was.

"Ooh, Lexa," Luna whispered to her all of the sudden, nodding in a certain direction, "that guy is coming over here, and he's looking at you."

Lexa's eyes widened as she saw the guy approaching her, and muttered, "Oh shit."

"What? You know him or something? He's hot."

"Lexa. What are you doing here?" Finn asked her immediately, crossing his arms over his chest like he was somehow in charge of her.

"She's with me," Luna stated, as though that would make more sense than Lexa just being here. "But I wouldn't mind if you stole her... or me."

"Shut up, Luna," Lexa snapped at her friend, who blinked in surprise for a moment before giving up and turning back to the group she'd been chit chatting in before. "I'm just here with my friend, Finn."

"If I ask you a question, could you answer me with complete honesty?" Finn asked, his arms still crossed and looking like he was maybe trying to be intimidating.

"Maybe."

Finn narrowed his eyes, and Lexa held her ground, raising her right eyebrow challengingly. Despite this small act of bravery, her heart was pounding. She'd never been good at social situations, especially not ones like this, but lately she'd been doing her best to face them. So far, that had been going well. It's why she'd forced herself to brave enough to speak with Clarke, it's why she'd spoken to Finn in the first place.

"You going to ask me, or not?" she heard, more than felt, herself ask.

"Is something going on between you and Clarke?"

Lexa was incredibly surprised by the question, but she wouldn't let her face show it. "No? What do you even mean?"

"I mean what you know I mean," Finn snapped, and Lexa jumped in surprise at his vicious tone. "Look, I didn't deserve you not telling me your age. And I know that Clarke knows how old you are, but what she doesn't deserve is being fucked over. And so far, you seem exactly like a person who would do just that."

"What would even give you that impression?" Lexa demanded, actually confused as to why Finn would say that she would be the kind of person to fuck Clarke over.

"You almost slept with me, then proceeded to get told off by Clarke. Somehow you two still started 'hanging out', and I think something's going on between you two, and now you're out here, flirting with older guys again."

"That's not what I'm – I wouldn't – I mean, I didn't..." Lexa couldn't find the words to use. She didn't want to admit to having feelings for Clarke, afraid that it would somehow lead to her admitting that she'd kissed the blonde the previous day. She also didn't want to seem overly defensive, but she didn't want to come off as dismissive. Because she wasn't flirting with anyone right now, and she definitely wasn't trying to hook up with any older guys.

"You may have Clarke fooled with your pretty face and whatever young charm she thinks you have, but you don't fool me, Lexa. In case you haven't noticed, we're a tight group of friends. I won't let her get fucked over."

Lexa saw red for a moment, and she heard herself snap at him, "I didn't do anything wrong, Finn! I didn't sleep with you, and I'm not trying to sleep with anyone else. And I don't know what you think I've been doing to charm Clarke, but whatever it is is definitely wrong. Even if there wassomething going on between me and her, which there definitely isn't, the last thing I would want to do would be the fuck her over. Unlike you, I don't enjoy treating people like dolls."

Finn looked absolutely shocked by her outburst, especially considering how she'd been fumbling over her words a moment ago, but before he could say anything, Luna was placing a hand on Lexa's arm. "Hey, people are staring. Let's get out of here."

"Yeah," Lexa agreed, her rage filled gaze still on Finn as Luna began to pull her away. She heard the conversation between the people they were leaving behind pick up again, though she didn't remember when it had gone silent.

"What the fuck was that?" Luna demanded, though she sounded far more excited than angry. "You been sneaking out to these without me knowing?"

"No," Lexa muttered. "Finn's just... I almost slept with him, which was totally wrong since he's in his twenties. And he really doesn't like me now anyway."

"Did he find out about your age?"

"Yeah," Lexa answered, "but I don't think that's why he dislikes me."

"So why doesn't he?"

Lexa rolled her eyes, trying to induce any other emotion than embarrassment, which was what seemed to be trying to rise as she thought of the real reason. "I think... he thinks I have a thing with one of his friends."

Luna stopped walking, drawing a confused gaze from the other brunette. "Wait, that girl you were yelling about? He thinks you have a thing with a girl?"

Lexa nodded.

"Well... do you? Oh my god, Lexa, you actually have more drama than I do in my life right now. I'm pretty impressed."

For some reason, that didn't make Lexa feel any better. A few weeks ago, maybe. All she'd wanted was for people to see her as cooler than one of the nerds at the top of her class. But she didn't feel cool. She felt stupid. "The girl he's talking about... we don't have a thing going on."

"But?"

"There's not a but, Luna," Lexa lied, starting back up to the parking area, only to have her friend grab her wrist in protest.

"Oh come on, there's definitely a but. Do you like him? Ooh, do you like her? Come on, Lexa, you know I won't tell!"

Lexa knew that Luna wouldn't tell, because she'd heard and witnessed many of Luna's very embarrassing, drunken, and often illegal moments of the past summer. And who else her age could she tell, really? Anya popped into her mind, but she wasn't sure that Anya would understand. Anya had been raised the same way as she'd been, anyway, and she saw most relationships as out of the question until college. She was bound to think that questioning ones sexuality was to be put off even further than college. Closer to never, even.

"I do like her," Lexa admitted, biting the inside of her lower lip as she realized that she'd just admitted it out loud. "I kissed her yesterday. I don't think Finn knows, but I feel so stupid. She's twenty-one."

"Damn, was she into it?"

"I... don't know for sure," Lexa replied, and she was very much aware that Luna was way more excited about the situation than she herself was. "I kind of bolted afterward. One of her friends almost walked in on us. I mean, we just kissed, but still. Her friends don't... really like me... as you just saw."

"Aw, what's there not to like?" Luna asked playfully, a grin spreading over her face as she looped her arm with Lexa's. "You're gorgeous, for one. Second, you know how to have fun. On top of that, you're also seriously smart. Sometimes I don't really get you. But you're actually a pretty good friend too. I'm glad you and I started getting close this summer."

Lexa was surprised by the sudden intimacy. She definitely considered Luna one of her friends, especially this past summer, but she hadn't ever expected the other girl to see her as a friend.

If hanging out with Luna all summer hadn't ended with her feeling as cool as she'd wanted, but rather more of an idiot, at least she'd gotten another friend out of it.

As she and Luna walked back up to the parking lot, Lexa's thoughts drifted back to Clarke, and she was reminded of the pit in her stomach that she'd been trying to not think about. She was glad that she hadn't had anything to drink, because she was sure she'd vomit everywhere right now if that were the case.

"You gonna head home?" Luna asked.

"Yeah," Lexa answered quickly. "Really don't feel like being out anymore."

"Fair enough," Luna agreed. "See you around at school. Oh hey, you should get Anya to come out with us sometime. She went out with me that one time last year and keeps refusing now."

Lexa's eyebrows shot up. "She went out to a party with you once?"

"Yeah, one of the college bonfires. She seemed to have fun, I don't know why won't come again. Ask her?"

Lexa blinked. "Yeah, sure. See you later, Lu."

Baffled, worn out, and still feeling stupid, Lexa climbed into her car and drove back up from the lake as fast as she could.