"Imbeciles. Why do you wish to fight?"
"It's our nature."
Chapter 46
My Romantic Dream
(Seifer)
The Great Salt Lake, just to the west of Esthar.
There were worse places in the world to land the escape pod, Seifer thought, but he couldn't think of any offhand. But it wasn't as if he'd had much choice in the matter. As soon as the escape pod had detached from the Ragnarok, the automatic systems on board the pod had taken over control, gauging altitude, trajectory, and rate of descent, making minor adjustments to the course as the pod plummeted to the planet. As far as Seifer was aware, it was impossible to manually control the pod, unless there was a hidden panel somewhere onboard that he couldn't find.
Once the pod had reached a certain distance above the ground, large, cone-shaped thrusters emerged from the sides and engaged, shooting out jets of flame that rumbled the pod and slowed the fall.
Seifer braced himself against the wall, his shoulders and elbows slamming hard into the interior of the pod with every movement. He grunted and cursed, watching the ground shoot up towards him through the pod's tiny window. Ellone's unconscious body tumbled off the bench and flopped lifelessly on the floor. Seifer reached out his leg and planted a foot on her shoulder to try to hold her steady and keep her from injuring herself, but there wasn't much more he could do to help her. Not without risking injury himself.
The pod landed hard on the slope of a gray, sandy hill, almost knocking Seifer to knees. Four metallic legs emerged from the outside of the pod and wedged themselves into the ground to keep the pod from rolling down to the bottom. The thrusters disengaged and retreated back inside the pod, and soon there was no sound except the gentle pattering of tiny rocks tumbling down the hillside and tapping against the exterior of the pod.
When Seifer was sure that everything was stable and the pod had definitely stopped, he knelt down beside Ellone and checked on her to make sure she hadn't been injured in the landing. She was still breathing and had no visible wounds.
(Good enough.)
Through the tiny window, Seifer could only see a small circle of his surroundings. The hill they had landed on was sloped at a high angle—almost forty-five degrees, from what Seifer could tell. It was surprising to him that the pod managed to stay in place without falling down the rest of the way to the bottom. Further off in the distance the hill bent around towards him, forming a bowl shape. Aside from that, Seifer could see nothing interesting.
He got to his feet and moved to the door. There was a large red lever on the inside of the door. He cranked it downwards and the seal popped open with an audible gasp as the higher air pressure inside the pod escaped out into the atmosphere. He pushed on the door and poked his head outside.
A light breeze came and went intermittently, spraying up flecks of the salt that the region was named after. Seifer blinked to keep the white particles out of his eyes as he turned around, trying to figure out where he was. The pod was near the bottom of a shallow valley, tucked up beside the desiccated ribcage of some massive skeleton. Judging by the sharp teeth—each one nearly as long as Seifer's forearm—he figured the creature had once been some sort of carnivore, a terror of the ancient world.
(And now it's just a big pile of bones.)
He turned away from the skeleton and kept searching. The steep sides of the hills all around him prevented him from seeing any great distance, so he held still for a moment and listened for the sounds of Esthar soldiers or monsters—either one would pose a threat to his plans. He could hear nothing but the breeze coming and going in a steady rhythm, as if the valley was breathing.
He reached out with both gloved hands and gripped the inside of the doorway. The hatch opened near the top of the pod, forcing him to climb out of it rather than step out. He hoisted himself up, stood atop the pod, and then carefully hopped down onto the slope.
As soon as his boots hit, the loose soil gave out from under him, collapsing in a small avalanche of salt and rock and bone fragments. He slid backwards, holding his arms out for balance, and couldn't stop until he reached the very bottom of the valley. He looked up at the escape pod, which was halfway up the slope—and a good twenty paces away from him now—and snorted.
(Damn it all…)
But he refused to be beaten. He approached the slope again, this time hunching over and using his hands for additional support and balance, scrambling up the slope like a monkey. He made his way upwards, occasionally slipping as the rocks gave way under his boots, but never sliding all the way back down. After a few minutes, he passed the escape pod. Sweat began to form on his face. Although the wind was cool, the sun was hot and bounced off the white and gray sand and into his eyes and face, blinding him.
Eventually, he reached the top. He straightened up and slapped the salt off his gloves and off his coat and took a look around from this better vantage point.
To the north and south were mountains—giant, jagged edifices streaked with lines of blue and gray and white. To the east, the Great Salt Lake seemed to stretch into infinity. Just endless white-stained rocks as far as he could see. But he knew that somewhere out in that direction was the city of Esthar, cleverly disguised by a massive hologram shield. In fact, the city limits of Esthar were probably very close by, given how close they had been when he ejected the escape pod.
(We're too close to the city.)
(They'll find Ellone if I stay here.)
To the west was more of the massive dry lake. It didn't extend endlessly into the horizon like it did in the east, but rather drifted off into a hazy blue blur as it stretched towards the ocean. He had no way of knowing how long it would take him to get out of the lake by heading in that direction, but it was his only choice. The mountains to the north and south would be nearly impossible to cross and going east into Esthar wasn't an option either. Ultimecia had tasked him with keeping Ellone out of Esthar's hands, and taking her right to their city would be counter-productive.
The bottom of the dry lake was a tangled network of canyons, valleys, and jagged hills. He could see that going west wouldn't be as simple as just following the sun and walking. He would need to navigate his way through the maze of rocks and skeletons, weaving through sheer cliffs and along the edges of crevasses so deep they seemed bottomless. He ground his teeth, annoyed at the difficult task ahead of him.
(Well, at least I'm finally alone.)
No more Galbadian guards to harass him and torture him. No Squall and Rinoa to fight him. No Ultimecia to confuse him with her talk of prophecies and legendary SeeDs. There was only Seifer, Ellone's sleeping body, and the task at hand.
(I can handle it.)
Carefully, he descended the slope to where the pod still waited. Each footstep created another small landslide, but he never lost his balance and slid more than a short distance.
He scrambled to the pod and clambered through the opening and dropped down inside. There he found Ellone, still sleeping on the floor where he had left her.
(How am I getting her out of here?)
He assumed that Esthar would eventually come searching through the area, looking for their lost escape pod. Therefore, locking Ellone in the pod and leaving her there was not an option. He couldn't really construct a sled or any kind of sling either. He lacked the building materials. His only choice was to carry her. He shook his head.
(Keeps gettin' better and better.)
He knelt down beside her with his back facing her and felt around behind him until he found both of her arms. He pulled her arms up over his shoulders, then crossed them over his chest. He grabbed her waist and pulled her tight against his back, then he grabbed her by the legs and stood up, leaning forward slightly.
Ellone didn't weigh very much, but carrying her was awkward and would be dangerous in the uneven terrain. Even worse, carrying Ellone made it nearly impossible for Seifer to fight, and he knew there were monsters roaming around freely in the white wasteland.
(Eh, I'll figure things out as I go along.)
He awkwardly climbed through the hatch, having to take multiple breaks to adjust his grip to keep from dropping Ellone. Eventually he got them both outside, then he hopped down to the slope. Once again, the slope gave way beneath him and carried him along to the bottom of the valley. This time, the fall was taking him where he wanted to go, so he allowed the rockslide to carry him downward. As soon as he stopped moving, he adjusted his grip on Ellone, turned west, and started walking.
After a few dozen paces, the valley angled northwest. The slopes on either side steepened as the valley gradually turned into a canyon. The sheer walls pressed in on either side of him, narrowing and narrowing until the rocks almost brushed against his shoulders.
The canyon ahead forked several times. At each intersection, Seifer paused and looked both ways, trying to guess which one would lead him further west. Several times, the canyon squeezed shut before him, forming an impassable barricade of stone and forcing him to turn around and return to the previous intersection.
The place was truly a maze, and there seemed to be no logic to its course at all. Sometimes a route that appeared to curve to the east would later bend around and go west. Sometimes a path that appeared to widen out into a valley would end at a sheer cliff, forcing Seifer to turn back. And sometimes a pile of animal bones would choke off the path, making it impossible to proceed.
(I hate this place.)
Eventually the canyon maze opened up into a wide, relatively straight gulch, filled with animal bones scattered around in piles. Deep cracks ran in zigzags along the ground, each one wide enough to seize one of Seifer's boots and deep enough to swallow his leg up to the knee. Seifer had to carefully watch each step, hopping over pits and avoiding the ancient bones that threatened to turn his ankles or trip him.
Seifer hopped over a crack, muttering under his breath, when he heard a small rockslide behind him. He froze and listened. There was nothing but silence for several seconds, then another small rockslide. He turned and glanced over his shoulder, peering behind him at the bones and white rocks.
(Somethin's there.)
He knelt down and stretched Ellone out on the ground. He stood over her, his eyes scanning the rocks, his fists clenched and ready. He found himself wishing for his gunblade. His hands felt naked without it.
Above him, he heard the sound of nails scraping on rock, giving him just enough time to wheel around and turn as a dog-shaped monster leapt down from the top of the cliff above and pounced on Seifer's shoulders. The force knocked him flat on his back, his head snapping hard against the jagged rocks. The creature's long nails—each the size of Seifer's littlest finger—slashed painfully at his clothes.
The monster opened its mouth, the stench of rot and decay belching forth from its gaping jaws, and lunged for his face. Seifer snarled and grabbed the monster by the throat.
The thing was strong—freakishly strong—despite its aged, rotting appearance. Even with Seifer's augmented strength, he could barely hold it off. It snapped furiously, moldy saliva dripping from its open jaws as it wriggled back and forth, trying to seize Seifer's neck between its teeth. It clawed at Seifer's body, but his thick trench coat kept the monster from raking lines into his skin.
The monster pulled its head back, trying to free itself from Seifer's grasp. At the same time, Seifer pushed forward on the thing's neck in an attempt to throw the creature off him. Even though it was strong, it still wasn't very heavy. Most of its body had rotted away, making it even lighter than a normal dog would be at that size.
The creature, propelled by Seifer's throw, hurtled several paces through the air before landing on the ground, its ugly nails scratching along the loose gravel and digging for purchase. Its jaws snapped wildly in rage, its black eyes rolled in its head.
Seifer scrambled to his feet just in time for the monster to recover its footing and leap at him again. He side-stepped the monster's attack, allowing it to fly past him, roaring in frustration.
The monster hit the ground and skidded, struggling to turn around. This gave Seifer a moment to examine the creature, to study it. His SeeD training kicked in, and all the lessons he'd taken in school rushed back to his mind.
(Undead monster.)
(Weak against fire.)
(… Perfect.)
Seifer grinned triumphantly and summoned a flame in his hand. The monster slipped and stumbled as it gathered momentum for another charge, furiously snapping at the air, its long tail lashing from side to side. It finally got its footing underneath it and bounded for Seifer again, trying the same charge-and-leap attack that it had already tried twice before.
(Undead monsters ain't got any brains.)
This time, Seifer didn't move. Instead, he screamed in anger, pouring his rage into the magic spell, and hurled the fireball straight into the monster's open mouth and down its throat.
Its black, dead eyes widened in surprise as the fireball cremated its innards. The monster tried to twist away from the attack—but it was far too late. It flopped to the ground at Seifer's feet and began thrashing in agony. The monster's thick, desiccated flesh began to burn from the inside, producing a rotting, smoky smell that turned Seifer's stomach. He held his nose shut as he stood above the creature, watching it suffer and die.
(That's what you get.)
The fire burned holes through the creature, then moved outwards in all directions, swallowing up its extremities and finally its head. After a few seconds, the creature went limp with death. Instead of continuing to burn like a normal animal would, monster began to dissolve into particles and the fire extinguished itself. The particles of the monster vanished in the breeze. This creature would not add its bones to the collection at the bottom of the Great Salt Lake.
Seifer brushed himself off and assessed his body. His thick trench coat had survived the monster's claws fairly well. A few frayed threads here and there and a small rip along the side, but otherwise it was unharmed. He frowned, annoyed that he had suffered any damage at all, then turned and went back to Ellone.
He grunted in surprise when he saw her. She was sitting up, blinking in the sunlight. She held one hand over her eyes to block the sun and gazed around her.
"Where am I?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep.
(In Hell.)
His mind raced, wondering what he should do next. He still had a few sleep spells remaining in his inventory, but they would only last a few minutes each, and judging by how long it had taken him to come this far, it might be quite a while before he actually got out of the lake. He couldn't very well keep casting sleep on her.
(Maybe she'll cooperate with me.)
Seifer scoffed to himself.
(Not likely.)
"We're in the Great Salt Lake," Seifer said, watching her tensely. "West of Esthar."
He realized then that something must have happened to Ciel. Ellone was only unconscious due to a spell that Ultimecia had cast over her. Now that Ellone was awake, Seifer assumed that Ultimecia was no longer around to maintain the spell. He didn't try to think of all the things that could have happened to Ultimecia. He needed to worry about himself at the moment.
Gradually, Ellone began to perk up. "What happened to the ship?" she asked. Her eyes widened, and she asked, "And Ultimecia?"
"They ain't here," Seifer said. "It's just us."
"… Did we crash?" Ellone asked.
Seifer paused.
"Somethin' like that," he said.
Ellone got to her feet and looked around. There wasn't much to see inside the gulch, but she seemed insistent on examining everything around her.
"Which way is east?" she asked. "I can walk to Esthar from here, I think."
She gazed up at the sky and found the sun. Then she turned east and headed back the way Seifer had come. Seifer rolled his eyes and grasped her firmly by the arm to stop her.
"We ain't goin' to Esthar," Seifer said.
Ellone shot a glance at him and narrowed her eyes. "Ultimecia isn't here to help you. Don't make me put you under again."
"Fat lot of good that'll do ya," Seifer said. "You can't move when you're connected, so you'd be stuck here with me. Stuck here in the middle of the fricken Great Salt Lake."
Ellone paused. Seifer had called her bluff, and she had nothing to counter with. He was right, and he knew it. Ellone's power could do nothing except annoy him for a bit.
"Esthar will come and find me," Ellone said, holding her chin up. "They must have seen us crash. If I put you under, I can stay here and wait for rescue."
"The monsters'll find you first," Seifer said. "I just fought one off a few seconds ago. There's bound to be more."
Ellone hesitated. Seifer could tell that she was trying not to look intimidated, trying to appear like she was still in control of the situation. She straightened herself up and looked Seifer right in the eye.
"I'm not afraid," Ellone said.
"You should be," Seifer said. "The things that live here are strong. Strong and desperate. That's a bad combination for you."
"I can run away," Ellone said. "You can't stop me."
Seifer snorted derisively. Ellone glowered at him.
"What?" she said. "I'm faster than I look."
Seifer crossed his arms. "Look. If yer gonna be difficult, I'll just put you to sleep and carry you like I've been doin' so far. And unlike Ultimecia, I ain't got a lot of sleep spells, so I'll have to knock you out the old fashioned way."
He clenched his fist to show Ellone what he meant. She looked down at his gloved hand, then back up at him.
"You wouldn't," Ellone said.
(I'm not sure if I would or not.)
(But I can't let her know that.)
"The monsters ain't the only things here that are strong and desperate," Seifer said, keeping his voice low and ominous. It was easy for him to threaten others. It came naturally to him.
A long silence passed between the two of them. Seifer looked away and glanced up at the canyon walls, checking for any signs of movement. There wasn't any that he could see, but he knew they couldn't stay there and bicker indefinitely. Monsters or Esthar soldiers would come, and there was still a long ways to go before they reached the other side of the lake.
(I ain't got time for this…)
"What happened to you, Seifer?" Ellone asked. "Why are you doing this? I still don't understand."
"You don't need to understand," Seifer said. "You just need to follow me."
And with that, he shot out his hand and grabbed Ellone's wrist. He spun back to the west and began marching along the bottom of the gulch, towing along Ellone behind him. She yanked at her arm a few times, trying to break free, but she gave up after a few weak attempts and allowed herself to be led forward.
The gulch narrowed into another winding canyon maze. Ellone quickened her pace a little until she was walking side-by-side with Seifer. He glanced at her and—when he felt confident that she wasn't up to anything tricky—he released his grip on her wrist and allowed her to walk freely.
(Still gotta keep an eye on her.)
He doubted that she would try to run away, and even if she did, she would never get far. The lake was a maze and no matter how fast Ellone thought she was, Seifer knew he was faster.
His conversation with Ellone had allowed some of the salt in the air to slip into Seifer's mouth. He licked his lips and winced. There was more than just salt on his tongue. He detected some kind of bitter chemical taste as well. He couldn't identify it, but he hoped it wasn't poisonous. He spat on the ground, making Ellone wrinkle her nose at him. He ignored her and kept walking.
At an intersection, Seifer and Ellone stumbled upon a nest of the same kind of rotten dog monsters that Seifer had grappled with earlier. There were at least a half dozen of them curled in little balls and sleeping among heaping piles of collected bones.
One was still awake. It had a leg bone pinned between its front paws and was busy gnawing at it, trying to break it open for the marrow inside. It had its back to them and hadn't heard them approach, giving Seifer and Ellone the chance for the first strike.
"We should go around," Ellone whispered, her voice barely audible.
Seifer shook his head, and raised his hand. Inside his fist was another flickering flame. He took a step and hurled it at the one wakeful monster. The fireball burst exploded along the creature's flesh, instantly setting it alight like a torch. It howled and bellowed in pain, dropping the leg bone it had been chewing on.
The other monsters shook their heads in alarm and began to stir, but before any of them had gained their feet, Seifer hurled out another fire spell, then another. The monsters' bodies were like cloth soaked in gasoline, and the fires leapt easily from one monster to the next as the creatures raced around in blind panic, bumping into each other and running into the walls of the canyon, until the whole pack was ablaze and snarling. Ellone covered her ears to block out the sound and averted her eyes, but Seifer watched and grinned.
After a few moments, the intersection was clear. Only dust, ashes, and bones remained.
(These things ain't so tough.)
He turned and looked at Ellone with a cocky grin.
"See? Yer safe with me," Seifer said.
Ellone looked at him levelly. "Maybe for now I am. But what about later? What have you got planned for me at the other side of the lake?"
Seifer's grin vanished. "You'll see when we get there," he said. He turned and kept walking to the west.
Ellone stayed a few paces behind him, keeping up with him so that he never had to slow down to accommodate her. Occasionally, he would glance over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't trying to sneak away or crack him upside the head with a rock, but usually she kept her eyes down at the path before her feet, focusing so that she wouldn't trip on the unstable ground.
"I've been thinking…" Ellone said, after several minutes of silence between them.
Seifer rolled his eyes.
(Here we go.)
"Save your breath," Seifer said. "It's a long walk to the other side of the lake. And talkin' just draws monsters."
Ellone ignored him.
"I've been considering the things you've said to me," Ellone said. "And the way you've been behaving. Both recently and in the past. Basically, I've been taking stock of your whole personality, your actions, your words, your behavior. And I've come up with some ideas."
(Jeez…)
"Keep 'em to yourself," Seifer said. "I don't need someone to tell me about myself. I already know who I am."
But secretly, Seifer was very curious to find out what Ellone thought of him. To see if her image of him matched the image he had of himself. Did she see him as dangerous? Crazed? Illogical? Or had she figured out who he really was, underneath it all? Did she actually understand him?
He walked in silence for a few steps, acting disinterested, but hoping that Ellone would continue.
Luckily, she did. "At first, I couldn't figure you out," she said. "None of your actions seemed to make any sense. For years, you were a regular cadet at Garden, you had friends, and you seemed to be happy."
(I only had Fujin and Raijin.)
(And I wasn't happy.)
But he didn't say anything, allowing Ellone to finish her thoughts.
"And then you one day decide to join forces with the most dangerous and powerful sorceress in the world," Ellone said. "You turned your back on everything you knew and—"
Seifer's patience ran out and his anger boiled over. He stopped walking and spun around, his eyes narrowed.
"I thought we already went over all this," Seifer said. "I told ya about it. I'm here to protect Ultimecia and stop SeeD. What else do you wanna know?"
She held up one hand to try to calm Seifer down.
"Allow me to finish," Ellone said. Seifer rolled his eyes and turned around, once more walking westward. Ellone followed behind him, but Seifer was no longer interested in hearing what she had to say.
(She's just gonna lecture me.)
(Tell me I should be friends with Squall or some such nonsense.)
(Like everyone can just forget the past and move on.)
"What you told me, back when we were connected," Ellone said. "I've been thinking about that over and over. And I've come to a realization."
"You finally figured out that I'm right about everything?" Seifer said over his shoulder. He meant it to be sarcastic, but there was a note of honest hope in his voice. It would be nice if someone finally took his side. And Ellone could prove to be a powerful ally, if he could win her over to his way of seeing things.
"No, quite the opposite," Ellone said. Seifer frowned. "I realized that you're wrong about everything, even when it comes to explaining yourself to others. When you tried to explain your motives to me, you were wrong. Even you don't know why you're doing this, why you're here. You don't know anything."
Once more, Seifer stopped and spun around. This time, his anger was tending towards violence. He clenched one hand into a fist and struggled to contain himself.
He jabbed one finger at her. "The hell are you goin' on about? Whaddya mean I don't know why I'm doing this?"
"I don't mean to say that you're dumb," Ellone said, meeting his gaze. "You're just confused. A lot has happened and you don't know where you stand anymore, so you—"
"I'm done talkin'," Seifer said. He sliced his hand through the air, as if physically severing the thread of the conversation. "One more word and I'll knock you out and carry you the rest of the way out of the lake."
"No…" Ellone said. "No, I don't think you will."
Seifer took a step closer to her. "Try me," he said.
"You won't hurt me, because you like what's happening right now," Ellone said. "You like everything about this situation."
Seifer rolled his eyes.
(Hell, now she's talkin' in riddles too.)
(She's just as bad as Ultimecia.)
"Are you gonna get to the point sometime today, or should we just go ahead and make camp right here?" Seifer asked.
"You like the fact that I'm so helpless," Ellone said. Seifer raised an eyebrow. "I admit it. I'm helpless. All my life, people have been taking care of me. First my parents in Winhill. Then Raine. Then Matron in the orphanage. Then Uncle Laguna, and the White SeeDs. I've always had people looking after me. So you're right when you say that I wouldn't survive out here on my own. The first monster that comes along will kill me. I know that. And you know that too. And you like that fact."
"Tch," Seifer said. "Yeah, right. You think I enjoy dragging around dead weight? You'd be a lot better company if you could hold your own in a fight."
"That would make sense, yes, but that's not what you want," Ellone said, shaking her head. "You want to be the hero. You want to rescue the helpless princess. I'm not a princess, granted, but I'm still helpless. I need you to protect me. And a part of you is happy to oblige."
(… Is she crazy?)
(That's not even close to…)
Seifer curled his lip. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"That's the common thread that links everything together," Ellone said. "It's why you joined SeeD. It's why you left SeeD to join the sorceress. And it's why you want to now go against the sorceress' plan, and come up with a new strategy. You always want to be the hero, Seifer. You want everyone to look up at you. To need you. To fear you, perhaps. You always want to be the one in control. And you are in control right now. Completely. This is your dream come true."
Seifer rolled his eyes again. "Yer oversimplifyin' it. I ain't that easy to read."
(I knew it.)
(No one understands.)
(Not even her.)
"True," Ellone said. "There's a bit more to you than just that. But that's the basics of who you are. You've got a hero complex, and it forms the core of your identity. It guides all your actions, all your decisions."
Seifer shrugged. "Since when is wantin' to be a hero a bad thing?"
"In your case it is," Ellone said. "You're so determined to prove yourself and your worth that you'll fight anything that stands in your way. You've got this vague idea of what you want and you see everyone else in the world as either your rivals standing in your way, or else as victims needing your help. In your mind, everyone either needs to be saved or needs to be destroyed. Black and white. It's unhealthy to live like that, Seifer."
"Tch," Seifer said. "I shoulda known you were just gonna lecture me. If I wanted people talkin' down to me, I would've stayed in Garden."
"I'm not talking down to you, Seifer," Ellone said. "I'm trying to help you. But your ego refuses to accept any help. Because that doesn't fit into your hero narrative. You need to go it alone. You need to be the only person who can save the world. It has to be about you, or else the story doesn't work."
"We're done talkin'," Seifer said. He spun around. "Keep up with me, or else I'll leave you behind with the monsters. Don't think I won't."
(Never shoulda let her talk to begin with.)
But Ellone didn't call his bluff. She jogged to catch up with him, then matched his pace, walking along at his shoulder and looking up into his eyes. He refused to meet her gaze, instead marching determinedly forward, hoping that if he ignored her, she'd be quiet.
"You're with Ultimecia because you think she needs you," Ellone said. "You think you're part of some grand, romantic story, with you as the hero protecting and faithfully serving the misunderstood sorceress. But you're wrong. Ultimecia doesn't need you. True, she will use you, the way a carpenter will use a hammer, but she doesn't need you. You're replaceable. You think she can't find another knight?"
"Shut up," Seifer growled.
"You think she can't find a thousand other knights if she wanted?" Ellone said. "You just happened to be at the right place at the right time. There's nothing about you in particular that she needs. She just wants a minion to do her dirty work for her. But when she doesn't need you—"
"Are you tryin' to piss me off?" Seifer said, coming to a stop. "'Cause if you are, you are doin' a hell of a job at it."
"I want you to stop and think about what you're doing," Ellone said. "You might think that you've been forced into a corner, that you've come too far to turn back. And maybe you have. Maybe you can never mend things with Garden, or Galbadia, or with your old friends. But that doesn't mean that you have to blindly serve Ultimecia. There are other options. Other places you can go."
Seifer shook his head.
"… Like what?" he asked.
"Uncle Laguna can find a place for you," Ellone said. "He used to be a Galbadian Soldier. He fought in the war that put down the Timber Army, and participated in the conquering of their nation. He knows what it's like to hurt people, and he knows how to find forgiveness again. He can help you."
Seifer snorted and looked away. "Stop talkin', Sis. I mean it."
"You're never as alone as you think you are," Ellone said. "If my power has taught me nothing else, it has taught me that."
"Everyone's alone in the end," Seifer said. "That's what my powers have taught me."
He turned around and kept walking, not bothering to check to see if Ellone was still following him. After a few moments, he heard her footsteps clicking behind his.
(She doesn't understand.)
Seifer shook his head as he walked, too angry to look behind him at Ellone. How much more of himself could he possibly reveal to her? She'd known him since childhood. She'd talked with him a number of times. Moreover, she had even been inside of his mind, rooting around in his past. Yet somehow she still didn't know him.
(Well, it ain't like she's the only one who doesn't understand me.)
Nevertheless, he didn't like it. She was the first person in ages to make an honest attempt to see his side, and she totally got the wrong impression. It was disappointing to say the least.
(Even Fuge and Rage don't understand.)
(Not totally, anyway.)
"So…" Ellone said, after several minutes had gone by. Seifer instantly curled his lip in contempt, ready to silence her, but before he could, she said, "How long do you plan on walking in the wrong direction?"
Seifer paused, turned to her, and raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Ellone pointed to the sky, towards the sun. "We've been going north for about five minutes now. We missed a couple of chances to turn back west. I thought you had a plan… but I guess not."
Seifer scowled. He looked up at the sky and checked out the sun, which was now firmly to his left. Indeed, they were traveling due north. He silently cursed, then turned back to Ellone.
"The terrain's better this way," Seifer said. He continued walking. "Come on."
"How do you know?" Ellone said, following after him. "Have you been here before?"
"Don't remember askin' for your help," Seifer said.
"Of course not," Ellone said, with a contritely bow of her head. "You're the hero, after all. Lead on."
"When did you get such a smart mouth?" Seifer asked, balling his hands into fists. "You always seemed so nice when we were kids."
"So you're the only one allowed to make sarcastic comments?" Ellone said. "I'll be sure to take note of that."
Seifer opened his mouth to say something, then snapped his jaw shut.
(She's messin' with me.)
(She's tryin' to rile me up.)
"Yer tryin' to get in my head," Seifer said. "It won't work."
"I can get into your head any time I want, Seifer," Ellone said, with a sly grin. "Or have you forgotten?"
"Just… shut up," Seifer said, unable to think of a better comeback.
"You think your anger makes you stronger," Ellone said. "But it only appears like it does because your anger masks your fear. The problem is, your anger masks all your other emotions and senses as well. That's why you could never get into SeeD. Your temper clouds your judgment. They didn't keep you out because you couldn't be controlled. They kept you out because you couldn't focus."
Seifer stopped, but didn't turn around. His hands clenched so tightly they began to hurt. "You don't… know me. So stop actin' like you got me figured out."
"You don't believe that your anger slows you down?" Ellone asked, her tone and expression neutral.
"It's better than bein' scared," Seifer said over his shoulder.
Ellone nodded. "Maybe it is. But you've been so wrapped up in your anger and your stubborn determination that you've never taken a moment to really think about what's going on."
Seifer spun around. "The hell are you sayin'?"
"I'm saying that you haven't been thinking clearly, Seifer," Ellone said. "My uncle Laguna is the president of the world's most technologically advanced nation. Plus, he's really protective of me. Do you honestly believe that he would let me go on a dangerous mission to break you and a sorceress out of a prison without giving me at least some kind of safeguard?"
Seifer's anger melted away to sudden panic as his mind tried to scramble, thinking of something he had forgotten to account for, a fault in his planning that she could exploit.
Ellone raised her left hand and pulled down her sleeve, revealing a bracelet around her wrist. Hidden among the bracelet's metal and colored stones was a single blue light, like a transmitter. Seifer's mouth came open and his eyes narrowed.
(Damn it!)
"They've been tracking me this whole time," Ellone said. "They knew where the escape pod landed, and they know where I am right now."
Seifer reached out and ripped the bracelet off her wrist. It snapped free easily and Ellone made no move to stop him. Instead, she only watched with a sort of dull sadness, as if she was disappointed in him and his actions. Seifer avoided her gaze and hurled the bracelet over a cliff wall and out of sight. He spun around and grabbed Ellone's wrist and pulled hard.
"C'mon!" he said gruffly. "We can still—"
But Ellone interrupted him. "It's too late," she said. "They're already here."
At that moment, a half dozen Esthar soldiers dashed around a corner, rifles raised. Several more appeared above them on top of the cliffs. They aimed their rifles downward. Seifer cursed and turned back, trying to return the way he'd come, but there were another dozen soldiers filling in the path behind him.
Front and back were sealed off by soldiers. To the left and right were high, stone cliffs. And atop the cliffs were more soldiers. He was trapped.
"Step away from her," one of the Esthar soldiers said firmly.
Before he could move, he felt Ellone's hand rest on his shoulder.
"It's not too late for you, Seifer," she whispered. "You don't need to fight anymore."
(But...)
(I wanna fight.)
He seized Ellone by the wrist and spun her around, pulling her in tight against his body. With one hand, he tugged her so that her back was pressed against his chest. With his other hand, he called up a fire spell and brought it close to her face. Close enough for her to feel the heat rising from his palm. She angled her head away, but Seifer held her still so that she couldn't get far.
"Let her go!" one of the Esthar soldiers shouted. The others took a step forward, their rifles raised and ready.
Seifer backed away, pulling Ellone with him. He retreated to the side until his back pressed up against one of the cliff walls. Now, if one of the soldiers decided to try to shoot, they'd have to risk hitting Ellone as well. There was no clean shot available.
"Stay back!" Seifer said. "You want her alive, don't you?"
He pressed the flame a little closer to Ellone's face. She jerked away and yelped, but he ignored her. The Esthar soldier hesitated, watching him carefully. They fanned out in a semicircle in the narrow canyon, covering all possible angles. But none of them dared to get within five or six paces of Seifer.
Near the back of the group, some higher ranking soldiers conferred with each other and muttered things into the radios mounted inside of their helmets—presumably asking for orders from higher in the chain of command.
Seifer twisted Ellone's arm a little, enough to make her cry out, to show the Esthar soldiers that he was serious about his threat. He wanted the soldiers to have time to negotiate with him, but he didn't want to give them enough time to figure out some kind of ploy.
"Just let me go," Ellone said in a pained whisper. "I'll talk to Uncle Laguna. You'll be safe."
"Tch," Seifer said. "I'll be dead."
Although he almost never believed a word that came out of Squall's mouth, he did believe when Squall had said that the people of Esthar hated Seifer. They knew who he was and what he had done, and they would never forgive him for the damage done to Esthar and the aftermath of the Lunar Cry. Even if President Laguna officially pardoned him—or even if Laguna gave Seifer his own personal guards to protect him—Seifer wouldn't be safe. There would always be people after him. He would never be safe in Esthar.
"I can connect with you right now, Seifer," Ellone said. "And you'll end up in prison, and I'll be back in Esthar."
Seifer grunted, but didn't answer. She was right, and he knew it. This time, the advantage was hers.
(How the hell did it all go so wrong so fast?)
"So why don'tcha?" Seifer asked. "You playin' more head games with me?"
"If you let me go willingly, it'll be easier for me to get you pardoned," Ellone said. "But if I have to take you down by force, then that'll be almost impossible. Please, Seifer. You have to trust me."
"I shoulda knocked you out right when you woke up," Seifer said.
"Maybe you should have," Ellone said. "But the bracelet was still active regardless. They still would have found you. Seifer, Ultimecia cannot change the past. And as long as you serve her, you'll always be fighting on the losing side. You cannot change anything, as long as you work for her."
"Shut up," Seifer said, tugging on her arm and making her cry out again.
"You can't change the past. Or the future for that matter," Ellone said. "But you can still save yourself. You can still have a life, Seifer. You don't have to—"
"I said shut up!" he shouted. "What do you think you can give me, huh? You keep sayin' I can have a life, but what do you mean by that? You mean a little house in some small village? A wife and kids? And some damn puppy running around in our fenced-in yard? That ain't me, Sis. It never was, and it never will be. I'm a soldier. I'm a knight. I was born for this. And I'll die like this. You have nothing that I want, so quit wastin' yer breath."
She fell silent.
The Esthar soldiers all around tensed up, their fingers moving closer to the triggers on their rifles.
There was no way out. He couldn't hand over Ellone. No matter what she promised him, he couldn't let Esthar have her back. Ultimecia had specifically ordered him to keep her away from Esthar. He couldn't fail her, not after everything he had done. Not after having come so close to achieving his goals.
But nor could he escape with Ellone. If he tried to do something—anything—then either the Esthar soldiers or Ellone herself would put him down. He was in a unique situation where his hostage actually held more power over him than he held over her. Anytime she wanted, she could knock him out and hand him over to the soldiers. It was a wonder, really, that she hadn't already done so.
He cursed again and tried to think.
"Lower your weapons," Ellone said to the Esthar soldiers. "Let him go."
The soldiers hesitated, then one of the lead soldiers ordered all the others to stand down. One by one, they lowered their rifles. Seifer watched in amazement as all the soldiers relaxed.
(… They actually listened to her?)
"Now, Seifer…" Ellone said. "It's your turn. Let me go, and I promise—"
"Like hell!" Seifer snarled.
Ellone didn't falter. "Let me go, and I promise you can go free. But first you have to let me go."
One of the soldiers spoke up. "We have orders from the President, ma'am," he said. "Seifer Almasy is going to come with us. He's too dangerous to let go."
(Damn right I am.)
"Uncle Laguna cares more about protecting me than he does about capturing Seifer," Ellone said. "Tell him the situation on the radio. I'm sure he'll agree."
One of the soldiers with red-colored joint pads stepped away from the group and spoke into his radio. A few tense moments passed. Seifer didn't release his grip on Ellone, or move the flame any further away from her face. Both he and Ellone were beginning to sweat now, from the constant heat of the fire.
Soon, the Esthar soldier returned. He stepped forward—but not too close.
"The President authorizes this plan," the soldier said. "But only if Almasy releases Ellone in the next thirty seconds."
"Ain't happenin'," Seifer said. "No deal."
"You have to," Ellone said.
"I won't!"
"There's no other way," Ellone said.
"I can't fail Ultimecia," Seifer said.
"You can either leave here alone," Ellone said, "Or come with me to Esthar. You don't have a third choice."
Seifer grunted and clenched his teeth.
"Let her go," the Esthar soldier said.
"You'll just shoot me once I let her go," Seifer said to the soldiers.
"They won't," Ellone said. "I promise they won't."
"What good are your promises?" Seifer said.
"You have five seconds," the soldier said. He began counting down from five.
Seifer drew in a deep breath through his teeth, snarled, and then canceled his fire magic. At the same time, he released his grip on Ellone and pushed her forward. She stumbled into the arms of one of the soldiers. Immediately, three soldiers rushed forward, guns drawn, and placed themselves between Ellone and Seifer. The other soldiers pulled Ellone away from Seifer until she was almost out of sight.
Ellone struggled in the grasp of the Esthar soldiers and turned back.
"Don't arrest him!" she yelled. "You promised!"
The soldiers paused. But they didn't lower their guns. Seifer knew he wouldn't have time to do anything if they decided to shoot him here. Bullets were faster than magic, faster than his fists. And without the additional range of his gunblade, he couldn't hope to reach even one soldier before being peppered with bullets.
At that point, he figured the best he could hope for would be if Laguna had ordered the soldiers to capture him alive. If they used their nonlethal weapons, Seifer might still have a chance to fight his way out and escape.
(Still, it's a hell of a long shot, in any case.)
Seifer licked his lips. The salty alkaline taste was bitter on his tongue. A part of him was aware that this ugly chemical flavor might very well be the last thing he ever tasted.
The lead Esthar soldier—the one with the red-colored joint pads, lowered his gun and signaled for the others to do the same. "We got what we came for," he said. "Let's go back to base. Ellone is our top priority."
In neat military fashion, the soldiers began to empty out of the canyon. Ellone glanced over her shoulder and locked eyes with Seifer as she was led away. He glared at her, showing neither gratitude nor relief. He didn't want to give her the impression that she had saved his life. That he owed her anything.
Ellone vanished around a corner and the eye contact was severed.
Almost as quickly as they had arrived, the Esthar soldiers departed. Seifer stood in place, listening to their synthetic boots stomp off into the distance, the canyons and valleys making their footsteps echo long after he lost sight of them.
He stood waiting, surprised that no one had shot him yet. He breathed in and out, first through his nose and then—when that didn't seem to be enough—through his mouth.
Then, all at once, his anger overflowed. He spun around and punched the canyon wall hard enough to break off a piece of rock the size of his fist. He screamed his fury into the sky and punched again with his other hand, shattering another piece of the cliff.
Even protected by gloves, both fists ached horribly, but he didn't care.
(It's over.)
(I failed.)
It didn't matter what he did now. He could never go back to SeeD. They wouldn't accept him. Esthar was no safe haven either. All he had to protect him there was Ellone's promises and Laguna's good will. Who knows how far either of those would take him. Galbadia and Timber hated him. He didn't know about the other corners of the world, but he was confident that anywhere in the world where his name was known was also a place where he was unwelcome.
The world hated him. He would have been better off if the soldiers had shot him. And least then he wouldn't have to live like a pariah, an outcast.
And now, in addition to earning the enmity of everyone in the world, he had failed Ultimecia. She had charged him with protecting Ellone, with keeping her out of Esthar's hands. And what had he done? He handed her over without a fight. He'd be lucky if Ultimecia didn't track him down and kill him herself.
(I have nothing now.)
He stood in silence, shaking, enjoying the throbbing pain in both of his fists. The pain was what he deserved. He deserved the pain because he was weak. Because he had failed. Yet again, he had disappointed Ultimecia.
(I'm still not strong enough.)
He shuffled his feet and began walking west. He had no plan for the future, but that was the norm for him. He liked to live life one day at a time, one moment at a time. Wandering aimlessly through a barren, salty graveyard with no destination in mind seemed to be a poetic metaphor for his life, or so he thought.
(Now what?)
Go back to Balamb? There might still be Galbadians waiting there to arrest him again. And even if there weren't, was he really going to go back to looting the fire cavern and scamming drunk fishermen out of their money? Or would he reduce himself to working as a shop boy in the junk shop owner's store? Becoming a mindless drone in the system, watching himself slowly grow old and die in a tiny little village on an island no one cared about.
(I can't do that.)
But where else could he go? FH? That would be the same as going back to Balamb, but even worse, because FH was so vehemently anti-violence. Everywhere in Galbadia was off-limits to him as well, and the far distant northern reaches of Trabia might as well have been on the moon, for all he knew about them.
(I gotta find Fuge and Rage.)
(Maybe they got a plan.)
Maybe they did, if they had somehow managed to escape all the Galbadian soldiers and get out of Balamb. Which was unlikely, to say the least. Balamb had been swarming with soldiers the last time he had seen them. He couldn't imagine that those two had managed to escape.
He kept walking, winding his way through the canyons and over the cracks, barely aware of where he was setting his feet. Occasionally, a monster would try to get the jump on him, but without Ellone to slow him down or distract him, he found the encounters to be almost boring. Everything in the Great Salt Lake was undead, so they all burnt like gasoline as soon as he threw flame anywhere near them. It was too easy.
Some time later, maybe an hour, maybe more, maybe less, the ground began to slope gently upwards, and the cliffs began to shrink down and down and down until he could peer over the tops of them.
As he climbed to the top of the rise, the gray-white sand at his feet changed to rocky earth, flecked with speckled bits of blue and pink and purple. In the far distance, he could see the wide blue ocean at the end of a cliff and smell the warm, wet air blowing in from the sea.
He turned back and looked at the empty salt lake. Now that he was outside of it, the whole thing seemed to be a tiny, insignificant little patch of land. He almost wondered why it had taken him so long to cross it, when the lake was so very small.
He sighed. Whatever his long term plan was, he would first need to find a place to stay. The closest he could think of was FH, and that was a long, long hike from where he was.
(Well, it ain't getting any closer by me sittin' here.)
He put one boot in front of the other and kept walking.
He wondered what was going to happen next. Not just to him, but to the world in general. After all, Ultimecia's grand plan was to get ahold of Hyne's Fount and cast time compression. She didn't really need Ellone for that—Ellone was just a backup plan in case everything else failed. Maybe there was still hope for Seifer, if he found Ultimecia again. If he helped her get to the Lunatic Pandora…
He shook his head. That would never work. Seifer had neither the resources nor the strength to help Ultimecia break into the Lunatic Pandora. And if he showed up without Ellone, he would never get a chance to explain himself before she vaporized him, like she had done with the Esthar soldiers on board the Ragnarok.
(She ain't the forgivin' type.)
But still, he saw her as his only shot at having a future. He had put all his faith in her, burned all his bridges and left only Ultimecia as his sole option. He needed to reconcile with her, prove his loyalty, prove his worth. But how?
(I don't have Ellone.)
(I can't get her into the Pandora.)
(I can't give her what she wants.)
A thought occurred to him and made him pause mid-stride. He set his feet down and rubbed his chin thoughtfully with one gloved hand.
(All this mess…)
(SeeD, time compression, Ultimecia…)
(It's all 'cause of this "Legendary SeeD" nonsense.)
And that's when it hit him. All the pieces fit together, and he once more realized his purpose.
Ultimecia believed that she couldn't kill Squall except through time compression. That Squall was the "Legendary SeeD" who was destined to destroy her. According to her, she had already attempted to kill him on several occasions, but he had survived, because Fate had protected him. Ultimecia believed that the only way to destroy him—the only way to defy Fate—was to compress time. That's what this whole nonsense was about. It began and ended with Squall.
And who knows? Maybe Ultimecia was right. Maybe she was completely incapable of killing Squall. But that's why sorceresses had knights in the first place; to do the work that they could not do themselves. Ellone had said that Seifer was replaceable, that Ultimecia didn't truly need him. And so far, she was right. Seifer had done nothing out of the ordinary in his service to Ultimecia.
But if he killed Squall. If he defied her fate. If he changed the past—or the present, from his perspective—then the universe would once again realign and he would emerge on top. Without the fear of the Legendary SeeD to drive her, Ultimecia would no longer seek out time compression. She would not go to the Lunatic Pandora. She would not have to end the universe to save herself.
In one move, Seifer could redeem himself, save the universe, and protect his sorceress. It was so simple, so beautiful, it had to be Fate.
"Heh," Seifer said, grinning. "Heh… ha ha…"
(It all makes sense!)
(All I gotta do is kill Squall!)
And if Squall was already dead—killed by Seifer's earlier gunshot wounds—then all he would have to do is find the body and show it to Ultimecia. If Squall was still alive, then Seifer would just have to kill him again and show the proof to Ultimecia. Deliver his head to her on a platter. Show her the corpse of the so-called "Legendary SeeD." Either way, the plan was simple, effective, and within Seifer's ability to accomplish.
Filled with renewed energy, Seifer began marching towards the ocean, heading towards the Horizon Bridge.