"Where's she taking you?"
"I don't know."
"Well, what are you going to wear?"
"I don't know."
Anya let out a frustrated puff of air. "Lexa!"
The two of them were sprawled across Anya's bed, side by side and staring up at Anya's ceiling as they talked. "What? I haven't had any time to think about it – you stole me away from Clarke to come hang out with you, remember? And I wasn't going to zone out and contemplate my date with Clarke when I was sitting right next to her."
"What do you guys do when you're at the warehouse, anyway?" Anya wondered, turning her head a little to look at Lexa.
"I mean, we talk and like... a lot of the time she's painting something."
"So all you ever do is talk?"
Lexa narrowed her eyes. "Well... no."
"What's she like?" Anya asked, and Lexa didn't know whether she should be happy that Anya was asking normal questions rather than getting on to her, or frustrated that she was asking so many questions.
"I mean," Lexa started quietly, "she's funny, and intense. She kinda terrified me the first few times that I spoke to her actually."
"So what changed?"
Lexa smiled a little. "She didn't change at all, actually, I guess she just developed a soft spot for me."
"So what, she's a bitch to everyone else?" Anya sounded confused, and Lexa scoffed.
"No. She's just... been through a lot. And, well, she loves her friends so much, so I guess it's more like tough love or something," Lexa answered. "I think she just has a hard time opening up to people, so she gets kinda scary as a defense mechanism."
Anya hummed thoughtfully. "Sounds... interesting."
"She's not mean or anything," Lexa insisted, rolling her eyes. "Definitely not to me. She's actually really sweet. But we tease each other a lot, which is actually pretty fun."
"I mean, there are loads of things to tease you about, so I'm not surprised," Anya deadpanned. Her jaw dropping, Lexa playfully slapped her best friend's arm.
"Wow, thanks."
"I can't really picture it all."
"What?" Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, and Anya released a sigh.
"I don't know, just you with a girl. I mean, I'm sure if I saw you two together, I would get it. But I've only heard you talk about her, or seen you texting her, and so it could just as easily be a guy from that sort of perspective. I guess it's just new," Anya attempted to explain, sitting up suddenly.
"Oh." Lexa sat up as well.
"It's not like... weird for you at all?" Anya wondered, frowning a bit. "Suddenly like... doing things with girls instead of boys?"
Lexa pursed her lips, thinking for a moment. "No, not really. But I guess that's because it's how I'm supposed to be – interested in girls and doing things with girls. Thinking about being guys now sounds... I mean, not weird, but not really appealing either."
"What if you hate the sex?" Anya wondered, leaning against her pillows at the head of the bed. "Like, you've had sex with a guy, so you know what it's like. What if when you turn eighteen, you have sex with Clarke and you don't like it?"
"I... don't think that will happen," Lexa admitted slowly, "but I mean, having sex with a guy wasn't a particular good experience for me anyway. I feel like any consensual sex I'd have now would be better. Plus, thinking about having sex with a girl – Clarke especially – doesn't gross me out at all or anything."
"Really?"
"Really," Lexa answered, slightly amused. "I mean, that kind of comes with the whole... being a lesbian thing. And Clarke's hot as people go anyway, whether or not you're attracted to girls."
"I guess, objectively yeah," Anya agreed. "I just really can't imagine it."
"What?"
"Having sex with a girl."
"Well, I guess if you haven't even kissed a girl, that would make sense." Anya pursed her lips all of the sudden, and Lexa raised both of her eyebrows, startled. "Wait, have you kissed a girl before?"
"Um."
"Anya," Lexa whined, stretching out her friend's name annoyingly. The other girl huffed, shaking her head.
"Okay fine. So, you remember when Luna told you that she took me out to that one party last year, and I said that I barely remember it because I was so wasted?" Lexa nodded. "Well... that's not entirely true. I got really wasted, yeah, but that was late in the night. Before that, Luna had dragged me over to this group of college guys, even though I told her that if she slept with one of them, she'd be putting them in the position of getting into big trouble. That's when I wanted to leave, but Luna basically kept a hold on me the whole time, so I decided that it would just be easier to stay with her, and at least make sure that she didn't screw up. And when I said that she basically kept a hold on me, I mean she was literally holding onto me. Some guy asked us if we were dating, and before either of us could answer, he said that it was hot."
Lexa raised an eyebrow, though she wasn't surprised.
"So Luna, obviously thirsty for any compliments from those guys, immediately started to get really clingy toward me in an attempt to make it seem like we were dating. And she spent like ten minutes flirting with this guy, even though the guy thought that we were a couple. When he walked off, he like glanced back at us, and Luna grabbed my face and started making out with me," Anya admitted, cringing a little bit.
"What, really?" Lexa asked, her eyes widening.
"Yeah. I sorta... well I mean, I kissed her back I guess, because I was so surprised, but then I pulled away from her and she was joking about it within a split second of it ending. It was at that point that I accepted a few extra drinks, and then a few more... and well, I couldn't really stop and I didn't. I wanted to forget about it. And that's why I never wanted, or want, really, to go out with Luna to anymore of those stupid parties," Anya finished, sighing.
"Why would you want to forget it? I mean, I get that you didn't enjoy it or anything, but it's not like you had anything to be ashamed about. She kissed you, anyway."
Anya shrugged. "It just seemed like a shameful thing, you know? It felt really wrong, And like, I knew and I know that I'm not gay, but it felt like kissing another girl just meant that I was, and my parents would not approve... and it just made me feel awful. You know?"
Lexa bit the inside of her lower lip, trying to keep from frowning too deeply and give away how much she was affected by Anya's story. "Do you really think that your parents would care that much?"
"Haven't you met them?" Anya asked back, sighing. "They were ecstatic to have their perfect son Lincoln – straight A's, got into college, is almost done with college now, isn't a douche, calls them once a week. They've always had those expectations for me, too, and it doesn't help that I'm a girl, because there are added expectations because of that. Do you know how many conversations my mom has pulled me into about how much she wants grandchildren and how she expects me to give them to her before she's sixty. That's like eleven years from now. There is no way I'm going to have kids before I'm thirty – I'm going to focus on my career before anything like that – but can you imagine if I was gay, and I told her that I would never be having kids?"
"You can have kids if you're gay," Lexa said slowly, and Anya shook her head.
"No, I know that," Anya insisted, "and I'm not trying to sound ignorant or like a bitch. I'm just saying that my parents would never get it. I mean, you don't think your mom would get it either, do you? That's why you haven't told her?"
"I... don't know how she would react," Lexa answered quietly. "I'd like to think that she'd at least try to understand. She definitely doesn't have as many expectations for me as your parents do for you, but she does have some all the same."
Before either of them could say anything else, Lexa's phone buzzed with a new text.
From Clarke – Are there any places you DON'T want to go to tomorrow night? Octavia says I'm a bad date planner, and I really need to prove her wrong.
Lexa smiled a little bit as she typed out her response, though she could feel Anya's eyes on her.
To Clarke – No, I'm okay with whatever! But now I have really low expectations anyway, so you'll probably be fine ;)
"It's Clarke, right?"
"Yeah," Lexa answered, glancing at her best friend. "Hey, can I crash here tonight? I really don't feel like going home after this heavy conversation we've had."
Anya smiled. "Of course. I'm gonna go shower real quick, I hate third wheeling your text conversation anyway." Lexa snickered as Anya got up and headed for her bathroom.
Making herself more comfortable on Anya's bed and snuggling a bit into the blankets, Lexa lifted her phone up to her face to read the new text message that had come through.
From Clarke – Oh great. Well. I guess that's better than you having high expectations. X
To Clarke – So, you going to tell me where you're taking me?
From Clarke – Sure, once I figure it out.
From Clarke – Sorry to cut this short, cutie, but I have to get some sleep or I'll be a zombie tomorrow. Non-zombie me will text you tomorrow. X
To Clarke – Okay :) Goodnight, Clarke!
From Clarke – Night Lexa :)
"Octavia was right," Clarke said, collapsing very unceremoniously onto Bellamy's couch. It was comfy enough that Clarke was pretty sure that she could fall asleep on it easily, were she in any other situation right now. "I suck at planning dates. It's going to go awfully, and I will officially be sad and alone forever after tonight."
Bellamy laughed, and Clarke knew that he was shaking his head from where he was sitting at his desk. "Over dramatic much? You know, I haven't seen flustered Clarke in a long time. It's kind of refreshing, considering that you're usually all angry and broody."
"Am not," Clarke snapped defensively, and Bellamy just laughed again.
"Look, you're gonna be fine, Clarke. And I'll tell you what. If Lexa somehow saw through you literally threatening her about the whole Finn thing and ended up getting you to date her, I think that means that she likes you enough to get past a not perfect date," Bellamy insisted.
Clarke groaned, rolling over and burying her face into the couch cushions. As she did, she heard someone walking into the warehouse. "Uh, what's with her?" Raven's voice asked.
"Oh, she's having an emotional breakdown," Bellamy joked casually.
"Shut up, Bell, stop making fun of me," Clarke groaned, though it was hardly decipherable as the words got muffled in the couch.
"Over what?"
"A date."
That got Clarke to jump up incredibly fast, nearly falling off of the couch and onto her ass. "Bellamy!"
"Ooh, what date?" Raven demanded, joining her on the couch and pushing her legs aside.
"No date."
Bellamy coughed awkwardly. "Oh, I thought you might've said something to her... sorry, my bad."
"Fuck you," Clarke growled, glaring over the back of the couch at him. He just flashed her a shy smile, and Clarke redirected her gaze toward Raven instead. "It's nothing," she insisted, "Just a date."
"A date that you're having an emotional breakdown over?" Raven asked, clearly not buying it.
"I..." Clarke found that she suddenly couldn't get more words out, and she just groaned again and flopped backwards into the cushions.
Thankfully, Bellamy was ready to pick up from there. "She and Lexa have been seeing each other for a little while, but Clarke is taking her out on their first date tonight. She thinks she's going to fuck it up."
"Oh," Raven said, looking like she was trying to refrain from appearing surprised, "well. You probably will, you suck at dates."
"Raven!" Bellamy scolded immediately, as Clarke let out a defeated sigh, dropping her hands over her face.
"I was kidding!" Raven exclaimed. "Alright, Clarke, tell me what you have in mind."
"Well I was going to take her out for dinner somewhere...," Clarke started slowly, pausing to take in a breath, "but then I'm out of ideas."
"Movie?"
"Too predictable," Clarke insisted.
"Why don't you just go down to the lake afterward?" Raven asked, sounding like she thought the idea was superb.
"Um. There's going to be a bonfire going on."
"Sure, so? That will be fun, right?"
"She's literally been to two of those bonfires in the past two weeks, Raven," Clarke argued.
Raven's eyes widened a bit. "Wait, was she at the one we were at last Saturday?"
"Yeah," Bellamy spoke up, "did you miss the whole Murphy trying to hook up with Lexa thing? Clarke got pissed."
Clarke narrowed her eyes in his direction. "You're exaggerating."
"Actually, I'm not."
Raven rolled her eyes. "Okay, no bonfire, whatever. Why don't you take her back to your place?" The brunette wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Raven!"
"I'm pretty sure she's trying to avoid getting arrested," Bellamy added unnecessarily.
Raven hummed thoughtfully. "Wait, isn't there that law in some states that you can hook up with minors if they're within three years of your age?"
"Even if that was a law here, I'm over three years older than Lexa, Raven. Anyway, it's our first real date and I want it to be nice," Clarke insisted.
Raven sighed, getting up from the couch and clearly beginning to get bored of the conversation. "So just do dinner, then. There's not a rule that says you have to have fifty parts to one date. Do dinner, at that one nice Italian place near campus, and then walk down that street that the restaurant's on. It's a cute area, you can be all romantic and cute and whatever."
"That's... actually not a bad idea."
Grinning, the brunette flipped some of her hair over her shoulder. "You should've trusted in me from the beginning. Anyway, I'll see you later, I've got to get some homework done. See you, Bell."
As Raven walked out of the room, Clarke smiled up at the ceiling. "I've got this. I can do this." Bellamy chuckled, and the blonde just rolled her eyes, sitting up and then getting up completely. "See you later, Bell. I've got to go get ready for a date."
From Clarke – I'm outside.
Lexa smiled down at her phone. She'd spent her day with Luna, who had let herself into Lexa's house to, allegedly, help the brunette get ready for her date. Despite all of the "help", though, Lexa had ended up mostly dressing for the slightly cool weather. In the fall, the weather was always weird, getting cold one weekend and then blistering hot again the next weekend.
Once Lexa had finally picked her outfit of jeans and a black blouse, Luna left the brunette to her own devices to await the time that Clarke would pick her up. She'd tried not to psych the date up too much in her head, because she didn't want to be incredibly nervous by the time that Clarke picked her up. However, even after her efforts, she felt nerves jumbling around in her stomach as she smoothed out her skirt and made her way downstairs.
"Lexa? Where are you going?" her mother called from the living room. Lexa froze, turning her head and meeting her mom's gaze.
"Out with Anya," she lied easily, "I'll be home a little late. Bye!"
"If you sleep over at her place again, let me know please!"
Lexa turned back toward the door, rolling her eyes. "Sure thing." This was why she avoided her mom at all costs – the woman only tried to enforce rules when Lexa was actually around to speak to her directly, and so if Lexa just stayed away, she was free to do whatever. Of course, that hadn't been much of an issue until this past summer anyway.
Lexa left her house, her smile reappearing, and immediately spotted Clarke's car stopped along the edge of the street. She'd texted the blonde her address earlier after Clarke had texted her to say that she'd finally picked a restaurant. Lexa honestly wouldn't have minded if Clarke hadn't told her where they were going, but she'd wanted Lexa's approval. Lexa though it was endearing that Clarke seemed to be nervous about the date.
Lexa had thought she wasn't nervous, but as she approached the car, her heart was racing.
Clarke reached across the dash and opened the passenger door as Lexa headed toward it, and the brunette smiled a little as she slipped into the car. "Hey," she greeted.
"Hey!"
"I'm not sure why I expected you to actually get out and open the door for me," Lexa teased, buckling her seat belt as Clarke took the car out of park and started driving.
"Sorry, cutie, I guess chivalry really is dead," Clarke joked back, smiling softly. "But really, I didn't think it was necessary, since you clearly already think I'm awesome, therefore I don't need to impress you."
Lexa laughed at that, and didn't miss that Clarke's smile widened when she did. "You're ridiculous."
"Mmhmm," Clarke hummed, her smile still playing across her face. "So I've heard. What'd you do all day?"
"Luna came over," Lexa answered vaguely. "It was boring. I would've come by the warehouse otherwise."
"Well, I'll need to have a talk with this Luna then, if she hogged you all day," Clarke teased.
Lexa blushed a little, biting the inside of her lower lip. "I think you can handle not seeing me for a day."
"I have handled more than one day, so I guess you're right," Clarke replied lightly.
Lexa glanced out the window of the car as a comfortable silence fell around them, but she frowned as she realized that they weren't heading in the right direction to go to the restaurant that Clarke had said they were going to. "Um. You're not taking me out somewhere to murder me right? Isn't the restaurant on the way to Polis?"
"Yeah, it is," Clarke agreed, before coughing awkwardly. "See, Raven kinda suggested that I take you there, because I really am awful at dates. But about an hour ago, I decided on something a little more... um, simplistic, I guess. You like pizza, right?"
"Who doesn't?" Lexa answered, smiling again as she felt her heart rate pick up again. "So where are we going?"
"Ah, my place," Clarke answered, flashing the brunette a smile that, despite the blonde's probable intentions, gave away how nervous she was.
"Sounds good to me," Lexa said, grinning now. The idea of living away from her mom had always been appealing, and that was one of the reasons that she loved sleeping over at Anya's from a young age. She couldn't wait until she graduated high school, because even though she would be going to college where her mother worked, she would at least get to live out of her house, if all went accordingly of course. The prospect of having Clarke's apartment as a place to escape her own home pleased her, as well as the general idea of having a place to be alone with Clarke. "You don't have to be so nervous, you know? I thought you were super badass or something."
Clarke narrowed her eyes and flashed the brunette a glare. "I am."
"Mmhmm, obviously," Lexa replied sarcastically, still grinning.
"Oh shut up. I'm not nervous."
"Whatever you say."
"That is what I say."
"Alright then," Lexa returned, biting down on her lower lip to keep from laughing. Clarke tried to keep up her glare, but her lips turned up into a small smile despite her attempt.
The blonde sighed suddenly. "I don't usually... do the whole dates thing. I haven't in a while, anyway, and I guess I am a little bit nervous."
"Well, you don't need to be," Lexa insisted, glancing out the window again and noticing that they were reaching the part of town where a lot of college students and new graduates lived.
Clarke was quiet for a moment. "Do you really think that I'm badass?"
"You were kinda scary when I met you," Lexa admitted, chuckling. "But I thought it was kinda hot." Clarke raised an eyebrow, casting a sideways glance toward the brunette.
"Oh really?"
"Mmhmm," Lexa answered. "Kind of intimidating, of course, but very hot."
"Well. I think we both know who the bottom is going to be once you're eighteen."
Lexa's jaw dropped as she flushed, and Clarke smirked at seeing the response out of the corner of her eye. "That's presumptuous of you."
"Oh, my bad," Clarke teased, grinning as she pulled into a parking lot that was nestled in between two apartment buildings. "We're here."
They got out of Clarke's car and Lexa followed her curiously toward one of the buildings. Clarke typed in some pass code in the keypad next to the door, and upon it beeping, the blonde opened the door. "After you," she said cheekily, allowing Lexa to step in.
"And now you're concerned with chivalry," Lexa commented.
"I just found out that you think I'm intimidating, so I'm trying to recover," Clarke teased.
"I don't think you're intimidating anymore." Lexa flashed the blonde a sweet smile. "You're actually secretly pretty sweet."
"Shut up," Clarke muttered dejectedly, though a smile peeked her lips slightly as she started for the stairs. On the second floor, they turned down a hallway and stopped in front of the fourth door. "Here we go."
Clarke unlocked and opened her door, and stepped into the apartment, Lexa following suit. "Ooh, it's nice."
"Well, it's a shoe box, but sure."
Lexa shrugged. "Considering that I have to live with my mother, any place that anyone gets to live at by themselves seems pretty awesome to me."
"Fair." Clarke walked over to her small kitchen, grabbing her phone out of her pocket. "I figured that we could order pizza and then... watch movies or TV or something. I don't know what you like to watch, though."
Lexa smiled a little. "I'm not picky – with pizza or with movies and TV."
Clarke rolled her eyes. "Of course you won't just give me a straight answer," she said jokingly. "So cheese pizza is fine?"
"Yep!"
"Alright. I'll order the pizza, there are a bunch of DVDs under my TV in my room through there," Clarke said, pointing toward one of the doors, "and if you can't find something you wanna watch, we can look on Netflix."
"Okay," Lexa agreed, starting through the apartment and into Clarke's bedroom. She'd already noticed the lack of a TV in the main area of the apartment. There was the small kitchen, as well as a small table and some chairs. There was room for a TV and a couch, but in it's place was a desk, covered in homework, as well as a small shelf. Lexa supposed that it was cheaper to not have to buy a couch, and since Clarke lived alone, it would make sense that her TV would be in her bedroom.
She entered the room somewhat timidly, noticing the queen sized bed and the mounted TV, below which was a standing shelf full of DVDs. Smiling a little, Lexa tossed her phone onto Clarke's bed and crouched in front of the shelf.
Clarke walked in a minute later, and Lexa was still looking through the movies. "Do you wanna just look at Netflix?" the blonde asked, startling Lexa a little bit, and she jumped a bit.
"Sure," she agreed, recovering quickly.
"I'm sure this would be much more normal if I had a couch, but unfortunately I don't. So I hope you don't mind sitting up close and personal with me."
Lexa grinned. "I don't mind." Clarke switched on her TV, grabbing the remote and going to one side of her bed as Lexa went to the other. Clarke pushed back the blankets a bit, so Lexa did the same and they both sat with their legs crossed under the blankets and their backs against Clarke's pillows. "Your bed is comfy."
"Thanks?" Clarke chuckled.
They relaxed significantly in their close proximity as they went through Netflix and finally picked a movie to watch. Lexa hardly knew what exactly it was, even though Clarke read out the description of it, but the blonde sounded like she wanted to watch it, and Lexa didn't really care.
They started the movie and watched it in silence for ten minutes until the pizza arrived, at which point Clarke hopped up get the door and Lexa intentionally scooted a bit closer toward the middle of the bed. When Clarke returned with the food, they ate food and talked as the movie played.
By the time they'd filled up with pizza and pushed the box unceremoniously off of the bed, neither of them knew what was going on in the movie. Nevertheless, they let silence fall over them as they watched.
It was a bit more than halfway through the movie when Lexa leaned over a bit, hardly realizing, and rested her head on Clarke's shoulder tiredly. The blonde stiffened for a moment, before relaxing again.
It was about ten minutes later when Lexa realized that she was bored, no longer focused on the movie and only focused on the parts of her body touching Clarke's – her head of course, on Clarke's shoulder, and their legs brushing under the covers, since they'd both at some point extended their legs rather than keeping them crossed. Their arms were also brushing, and Lexa couldn't help but realize that this was the most physical contact they'd ever had at one time.
Lexa wanted to change that.
She nudged Clarke a little, turning her head upwards a little. When Clarke glanced down at her a bit, Lexa joined their lips in a kiss that Clarke easily reciprocated. She sat up straighter as it deepened, and Clarke pushed her tongue into Lexa's mouth suddenly. Lexa's hand moved upwards, pushing some of Clarke's hair out of her face as she hummed contently, and the blonde turned her body slightly, pressing their fronts together.
Lexa moaned quietly at their closeness.
Suddenly, Clarke was straddling the brunette across her lap, their kiss heating up considerably and causing Lexa's body to ache for the blonde. Their kiss broke for a moment of needed breath, and Lexa murmured, "Clarke..."
Clarke pulled away a bit, looking at Lexa's face carefully. "I would do so many things to you right now if I could."
"You'd have sex on the first date?" Lexa asked, smiling cheekily at the brunette.
"Mm, this hardly feels like the first date, babe," Clarke murmured in response, and Lexa moaned almost inaudibly.
"You're not wrong," she agreed quietly.
"You seem nervous. We're not going to have sex right now, you know?"
"I know," Lexa answered, slightly frustrated at herself as she realized that she was disappointed, "and I'm not nervous. Maybe slightly intimidated. I've never had sex with a girl before."
Clarke smiled, batting her eyelashes slightly. "I figured as much, but you don't need to be intimidated. I get the feeling that you'd catch on quickly."
"I'll take that as a compliment I guess," Lexa murmured, her gaze dropping down to Clarke's lips. "But since that's not happening yet, I can think of something we can do in the meantime." A grin spread across Clarke's face, but only for a moment before she leaned back down and kissed Lexa again.
The movie was forgotten as their tongues tangled together, and Lexa was sure that this was easily the best first date ever.