Final Fantasy 8: Future Bound

by Darsar

The continuation of the events of Final Fantasy 8, shortly after the conclusion of the game.

59. Chapter 59: Future Bound (Part 1)

Chapter 59

Future Bound (Part 1)

(Rinoa, Selphie, Zell)

---

(Rinoa)

(Three hours after)

"Ball your hands into fists," the doctor said. Rinoa held both her hands in her lap, palm up, and did as she was told, slowly clenching her hands until her fingers were tight together. "Now release them."

Rinoa relaxed, allowing her fingers to spread apart. The doctor peered down at her hands, tapping his finger on the corner of his mouth. He grabbed Rinoa's hands in both of his and began poking with the tips of his fingers, jabbing between the bones and at the soft fleshy parts of the palm of her hand.

"Do you feel any discomfort?" the doctor asked. "Any unusual pain?"

Rinoa shook her head.

"Any loss of motion?" the doctor asked.

Rinoa shook her head again.

"How about this?" the doctor asked. He flicked his finger against the back of Rinoa's fingernails, producing a small clicking sound. "Any pain or unusual sensations?"

Rinoa shook her head a third time. As the doctor continued examining her hands, he accidentally brushed a knuckle across the pointed tip of Rinoa's index finger. He sucked in a breath through his teeth and pulled his hand away. Rinoa's eyes went wide and she immediately glanced at the back of the doctor's hand. There, across the front knuckle, a thin line of blood was welling up. The doctor shrugged, rose up from his chair, and crossed the room. He sprayed a disinfectant on the wound, then removed a small package of sterilized bandages from a drawer in a nearby desk.

"Sharp…" he said, while wrapping his cut. "You may want to get those nails filed down."

Rinoa didn't say anything. She only stared down at her hands.

The palms of her hands were unchanged. Still the same pale white skin she always had. But as the skin tapered off towards the fingers, it became darker—at first turning a purple-blue, like a bruise, then turning fully black at the tips. Her fingernails, once smooth and elegant, now ended in sharp points like claws. The skin looked leathery and hard. It flaked and cracked. The backs of her hands were veiny and wrinkled like an old woman's. Splotches of color continued up past her wrist before fading back to white.

(These are my hands now.)

"Is there…" Rinoa asked. She looked up at the doctor. "… Anything you can do?"

The doctor pursed his lips and stared at the wall for a moment. He took a short breath, then let it out quickly.

(He's going to say no…)

"I'm afraid not," the doctor said. "If it was scar tissue we might be able to do a skin graft or another similar procedure. But as far as I can tell, your fingers aren't actually damaged in any way. They've merely changed appearance, like getting a tattoo. I admit, I don't know much about this subject, but I was alive and practicing medicine in the days of Adel's rule, and I remember how her skin looked. You remind me a lot of her."

(I'm not Adel.)

Rinoa shot him a sharp glance, and the doctor blinked.

"I mean, physically, of course," the doctor said. "Your skin looks a lot like hers did. I never got a chance to examine her up close, but I saw her often enough… from a distance."

"Will it get better?" Rinoa asked.

"I can't say," the doctor said. "In all the years of Adel's rule, there never seemed to be any improvement in her condition. On the bright side, she never got any worse either, but…"

He trailed off. Then he sighed. He glanced down at his bandaged hand.

"I don't think there's any reason why this new development should prevent you from living a normal life," the doctor said. "You'll almost always be wearing shoes and socks, so no one will ever know the condition of your feet—unless you allow them to look. Your hands can be easily covered with gloves. And your face… well, some makeup ought to cover up the worst of it."

Rinoa had already seen her feet and her hands. They looked like she had tried to crawl through a fire. But so far, she hadn't gotten access to a mirror and hadn't seen her face. A part of her didn't want to see.

(It has to be pretty bad.)

(Even the doctor won't look right at me.)

"Well," he said. He turned to the door and put his fingers on the handle. "If there's nothing else, there are other patients I need to attend to."

Rinoa nodded. The doctor forced a thin smile.

"You'll be alright," he said. "You'll see."

(That's what Squall said.)

"Yes…" the doctor said to himself. "Well… goodbye."

He pushed down on the handle of the door and stepped out into the hallway. He closed the door behind him, leaving Rinoa in the room.

She sighed and flopped down on the hard, sterile examining bed. A lot of things in Esthar were different than she was accustomed to, but hospital rooms, it seemed, were universal. White walls and white floors under harsh white lights. There was a desk in the corner stacked with glowing devices that Rinoa didn't understand the purpose of, but otherwise everything was the same as every other doctor's office she had been to.

She was on the third floor of the Esthar Presidential Hospital, a dedicated section within the Presidential Palace reserved exclusively for members of Esthar's government and staff. Ordinarily, Rinoa—a common citizen and an outsider—would have never been allowed to be treated in such an exclusive hospital, especially for a non-life-threatening condition, but Kiros had kindly pulled some strings, allowing Rinoa and all her friends access to the hospital. Selphie and Irvine were further down the hall in separate rooms, both still asleep, recovering from their injuries.

Rinoa looked down at her hands.

(I guess gloves wouldn't be so bad.)

After all, Squall, Irvine, Quistis, and Zell all wore gloves almost constantly. She would hardly stand out among her friends. And if she filed her nails down, most people would never notice the difference.

(… It's not so bad.)

A few seconds later, a knock came at the door.

"Come in," Rinoa said. She sat up and Squall poked his head inside the room. Even though he had been healed twice now—once by Rinoa's magic and again by the doctors in the hospital—he still looked worn and beaten. His eyes were tired and his hair messy. He slipped into the room with a small mirror held behind his back—so that Rinoa couldn't accidentally catch a peek of herself until she was ready. He closed the door behind him and sighed.

"You know how hard it is to find a mirror in this place?" Squall said with a small smile. "They've mastered space travel and harnessed the fundamental forces of the planet, but apparently the concept of a portable reflective surface has escaped them."

Rinoa smiled. "But you found one?"

Squall nodded. "Yeah. I had to borrow it from one of the nurses."

They remained like that for several seconds, Squall standing against the closed door and Rinoa sitting down on the bed. Finally, Squall's little smile faded away and his expression turned serious.

"Doctor said there's nothing he can do," Rinoa said softly.

Squall shrugged. "It doesn't matter. It's not that bad."

Rinoa held out her hand for the mirror. "Then let me see."

Squall hesitated for a second. Rinoa curled her fingers a rapidly a couple times, gesturing for the mirror. Squall sighed, then passed a small pink mirror to her, facing the reflective side down. Rinoa gripped the handle and held it for a second.

(No point in dragging this out.)

She flipped around the mirror and looked at herself for the first time since taking Hyne's Fount.

In a way, Squall was right; it wasn't that bad. Given the looks that Rinoa had gotten when talking to SeeDs or to the Esthar staff, she had expected to have three eyeballs or horns jutting from her forehead.

Deep discoloration surrounded both eyes, then spread out in black lines towards her ears and down towards her jaw, stopping just above her cheeks. The lines reminded her of Zell's tattoo. They zig-zagged across her face, forming a mask around her eyes. It looked like they had been drawn on with eyeliner or mascara.

The worst part was the eyes themselves. She had always had dark brown eyes, but now her irises were truly black—as black as her pupils. The whites of her eyes remained intact, highlighting the dark circles within them like a pair of bullseyes, the dots on a pair of dice.

She let out a breath. She didn't look like a total monster. Not deformed like Adel or Ultimecia. But, looking back, she could see how her appearance could startle or intimidate someone who wasn't expecting to see her. Especially when she had barged into G-Garden, flying through the school with giant luminescent wings and a determined scowl.

(I must have looked pretty scary.)

But now, just sitting in a doctor's office and holding a delicate pink mirror in her hands, she looked like a teenage girl who had fallen asleep at a party and gotten black marker drawn around her face. She had gotten lucky. It could have been much worse.

"I don't mind, you know," Squall said. "We all have scars."

He traced his finger along his own scar. It wasn't the same thing—his scar and hers—but Rinoa appreciated the sentiment.

"Thanks," Rinoa said. She looked down at her hands, then laughed once, mirthlessly. "Everyone always thought I was a monster. Now I'm starting to look like one."

Squall's expression darkened, and his eyes fastened on hers. "You're not a monster."

"Maybe not," Rinoa said. "But monsters and I are starting to have a lot in common. I mean, after everything that I—"

She was interrupted by Squall's sudden embrace. He crossed the room in a flash and swallowed her in his arms. His grip was too hard at first, hurting her shoulders, but after a moment he relaxed, and Rinoa leaned into him, feeling his warmth and the smell of sweat and gunpowder and rusty blood that clung to his skin and clothes after all the fighting. She balled her hands into fists, careful to keep her sharp fingernails safely tucked away, and then threw her arms around him.

She didn't want to cry, but it seemed like Squall's grip squeezed the tears out of her. They swelled up in her eyes and dripped along down her cheeks. Without releasing Squall, she rubbed the back of her wrist against her eyes, feeling her course skin touch the strange lines around her eyes.

(This is how it is now.)

(This is what I look like.)

She knew that the sooner she accepted that, the sooner she could move on with her life. She had already resolved herself to not waste any time looking for a cure for her condition. Doing that would just drag out the healing process and fill her with false, needless hope.

And, like Squall had said, it wasn't that bad.

The two remained like that for some time, neither of them speaking. She knew it was such a silly thing—such a vain thing—for her to be saddened by what was basically a cosmetic change. After all that had happened, she knew she should consider herself lucky to still have fingers and eyes at all. To still have her life. To have Squall, and all her friends still alive.

(But…)

Rinoa loosened her grip so that she could turn her mouth closer to Squall's ear.

"How are Irvine and Selphie?" she asked.

"Fine," Squall said. They released each other and Squall straightened up. "They're both sleeping now. The doctors say that they'll make a full recovery. They're going to watch them overnight and release them in the morning. Do you want to go see them?"

Rinoa shook her head. "I'll wait until they're awake." She looked up at Squall. "How are you?"

"Better now," Squall said. He rubbed at his ribs. "Your magic did more good than the Esthar medics did. Mostly they just tried to pump me full of painkillers and tell me to hold still."

"That's good…" Rinoa said. She trailed off. It seemed like there was a lot she wanted to say, but at the same time, she couldn't think of anything worth talking about. Given everything that had happened in the past few days—a war between the two largest nations on the planet, a second attack from Ultimecia, the death of Ellone and the destruction of the Lunatic Pandora—everything else seemed so trivial by comparison.

Finally, she met Squall's gaze and asked, "Were we lucky?"

Squall narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. "Hm?"

"Were we lucky?" Rinoa asked again. "Should we be happy with the way things turned out, or… could they have been better? Did we win the battle, or did we just barely escape with our lives?"

Squall paused and thought it over for several seconds. She could see him processing the question in his mind, examining it, overanalyzing it. She was glad to see that he was taking her question so seriously and that—despite everything that had happened—he was still the same person she remembered. After all the changes that took place, Squall was still basically the same.

Finally, he shrugged. "I don't know. But I don't think 'luck' had much to do with it in any case. I think things had to happen this way. Or at least in a way very similar to this. That's what I want to believe, anyway."

"You wanna believe in Fate?" Rinoa asked.

"Sometimes," Squall said. He spread out his hands. "Sometimes… it's nice, thinking that there was nothing I could do. That, no matter what, it all would have turned out this way. It eases the responsibility I feel. But on the other hand, I don't wanna believe in Fate. I don't want to believe in destiny, because then that means that I have no choices. Everything I do is set in stone. So… I haven't really made up my mind on that just yet."

"I see…" Rinoa said.

She could sense that when Squall talked about "responsibility" and "Fate," he was talking about Ellone. About her death. Rinoa had never really known Ellone, and so she wasn't personally affected by her loss, but Squall and the others had grown up with her, regarded her as a sister. For them, it was a death in the family. She could see Squall trying to avoid the subject, to not think about it too hard. She wanted to comfort him in whatever way she could.

(But he probably wouldn't like that.)

(I think he wants to handle this on his own.)

Normally, she would make a point of prying Squall out of his head and making him open up, talk to her, express himself. But she didn't seem to have the energy at the moment. She felt numb and hollow. She wanted to stay with Squall and not really think about anything. Just let the rest of the world fade away.

They were silent again, until a knock came at the door.

"Come in," Rinoa said. Squall stepped aside. She was hoping that it was someone bringing word from Garden. Squall had already asked a person in the Esthar military to get in touch with Quistis, Zell, and the others and tell them to all meet in the hospital, but so far Garden still hadn't come back.

But instead of a soldier or a messenger, it was Kiros who opened the door. He poked his head in, somewhat apologetically, and nodded at the pair. His long white robes flowed around him as he stepped inside.

"Sorry to disturb you," Kiros said. "But the President wants to speak with you. I told him he should rest but… you know how he gets when he sets his mind on something."

"Laguna's here?" Squall asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Kiros said. "Laguna insisted on being part of the rescue mission to bring back Ellone. We tried to talk him out of it, but he managed to get a uniform and join the rest of the soldiers in the battle before we could stop him. But he's not as young as he used to be…"

"Is he alright?" Rinoa asked.

"A concussion and some minor injuries," Kiros said. "He's supposed to be resting, but he's afraid that you're all going to leave Esthar before he wakes up, and he wants to talk to you right away." He turned to Squall. "You specifically."

Squall frowned. "Me?"

Kiros shrugged. "I didn't ask why. If you don't mind, I'll take you to him. But if it's too much of a bother, I'll just tell him I couldn't find you."

"No, it's alright," Squall said. "We should probably talk about what to do next anyway."

"I'll warn you, he's probably not in any condition to have a serious discussion," Kiros said. "They put him on some powerful sedatives to keep him from trying to leave his bed, and he's a bit… loopier than usual."

Squall turned to Rinoa. "You wanna go?"

Rinoa smirked. "If Laguna's loopier than usual, then I gotta see it."

Kiros smiled wanly. "Come with me."

He pushed open the door and stepped out into the hallway. He tucked his hands into the sleeves of his white robe and stood aside, allowing room for Rinoa and Squall to exit the room and join him in the hall. Rinoa tucked her mirror into the waistline of her pants so that she wouldn't forget it.

Kiros led them down a series of corridors, until they arrived at a room guarded by two Esthar soldiers, standing at attention and holding rifles closely to their chests. Kiros paused for a moment to allow the soldiers to identify him, then motioned for Squall and Rinoa to enter the room. Kiros didn't enter along with them, electing instead to remain out in the hallway. He closed the door behind the pair after they entered.

Laguna's room was larger and more extravagant than Rinoa's had been, but she expected that, seeing as how he was the President of Esthar. He was stretched out on a long white bed, his head and neck propped up with a half dozen fluffy white pillows. His long black hair was fanned out behind him. When they entered, he groggily rolled his head to the side and smiled.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyy," he said, his voice thick and slurred. He raised one hand in a wave, and then let it drop down on his chest with a thump. He didn't even seem to notice.

(Wow, he really is out of it.)

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" Squall asked. He stepped up and stood beside Laguna's head, with Rinoa right behind him. Ward sat in the far corner, his massive body perched on a small chair, silently watching the proceedings.

"Yeah…" Laguna said. "Yeah… I did say that. Now… what was I gonna say?"

He looked up and squinted his eyes, as if reading notes written on the ceiling lights. While he stared blankly, the features of his face sagged, the drug-induced good cheer faded, and Rinoa began to see the lines and wrinkles in his face—features she had never really noticed until just then.

(I guess he is getting older after all…)

"I wanted to say…" Laguna said. The humor was gone from his voice. He struggled to keep from slurring his words as he spoke. He swallowed, then said, "I wanted to say that it's not your fault."

Squall crossed his arms and looked away. Rinoa could see him grinding his teeth, see his throat working as he struggled to keep his emotions down. Laguna didn't need to explain what "it" was; everyone in the room already knew. A few seconds of silence passed between them before Squall said, "It is my fault. I was there… I should have been able to do something."

Laguna shook his head. "No. There was… nothin' you coulda done. Don't… don't beat yourself up, okay?"

"If I'd been stronger…" Squall said. He shook his head, his voice rising as he spoke. "Or… before that even. If I'd have seen Seifer coming. If he hadn't surprised us on the skyway outside of O Lab. Or before that even! If I hadn't lost to Seifer and Ultimecia on board the Ragnarok. Or if I hadn't taken Sis with us to D-District to begin with. There's so many things I could have done differently. So many ways that I could have changed all this. How can you say this isn't my fault?"

Laguna shook his head again. "It's not your fault. You think…" he took a breath. "You think I didn't ask myself that question a hundred times every single day of my life? If I hadn't left Ellone in Winhill. If I'd have come back sooner. If I hadn't become President. There are so many things I coulda done different… but I didn't. You gotta let it go."

"I don't want to let go," Squall said. He pressed his hand to his chest. "I deserve to feel guilty."

"That's not gonna change anything," Laguna said. "Elle was… she was always talkin' about stuff like that. About acceptin' the past. She said somethin' to me once. I can't quite remember exactly what she said. But it was sweet and beautiful… and ahhh… I'd just end up butcherin' it if I tried to say it now. But trust me, it meant a lot."

There was another long pause. Finally, Squall said, "Is that all you wanted to say to me? That it isn't my fault?"

Laguna opened his mouth, took a long breath, and then exhaled in one quick puff. "There was more I wanted to say. But I'm not thinkin' too straight right now. How long are you gonna stay in Esthar?"

"I don't know," Squall said. "I need to talk to my Lieutenant Commander and take stock of the situation in Garden. We may end up staying awhile, or we could leave tomorrow. I don't know yet."

"Well…" Laguna said. "We're gonna have a big funeral for Elle. You'll stick around for that, right? It'll be… it'll be nice. It'll do her justice."

Squall looked at him for several seconds. "Doesn't matter how big the funeral is. She's still dead either way."

Rinoa narrowed her eyes. "Squall!"

"It's true," Squall said, glancing at her over his shoulder. "You can't change the past. Especially not with a stupid funeral."

Before Rinoa could answer, Laguna raised up one hand, his wrist and his fingers limp. "No, you're right. It's not gonna bring Elle back. It ain't gonna do anythin' at all for her. But funerals aren't for the dead. They're for us, you know? It's a part of life. Of livin'. Of movin' on and all that… all that stuff."

"I'll move on in my own way," Squall said.

"Ain't healthy, man," Laguna said. "Keepin' it all bottled up like that. It'll drive ya crazy."

"He's right, Squall," Rinoa said. "You can trust us. You can talk to us."

Squall hesitated. For a moment, Rinoa thought that he would relent. That he would turn around and say what he really felt, instead of pretending he wasn't feeling anything at all.

"What's the point of opening up to people if they're just gonna die?" Squall asked. He stepped away from Laguna's bed and walked around Rinoa. She reached out and grabbed him by the arm, but he slipped through her fingers and continued towards the door.

Before he got there, Laguna said, "Wait."

To Rinoa's surprise, Squall obeyed. He stopped at the door and turned around.

"Lemme just say this," Laguna said. He cleared his throat and swallowed. "Of all the things I regret, I think I regret what happened to you the most."

Squall looked confused. "Me?"

Laguna continued. "I shoulda known. I shoulda figured it out sooner. But I'm… such an idiot sometimes. Elle had to come right out and tell me, and even then I didn't believe her. Not until I saw you again a few days ago. When you came back to Esthar. Then I knew."

"What are you talking about?" Squall asked. He put one hand on his hip. Squall didn't seem to know what was going on, but Rinoa was beginning to get a feeling she knew what this was about. She looked at Laguna and nervously bit her lip, hoping that he would say more.

The drugs were beginning to overwhelm Laguna. He blinked slowly, almost totally asleep now. "I'd know those eyes anywhere," he said, almost a whisper.

Squall sighed, then shook his head. "He's too drugged up. We shouldn't have bothered coming here."

He turned for the door and opened it and stepped out into the hallway. But Rinoa didn't follow. She stood in Laguna's room, with Laguna gradually slipping into sleep. There was a question that had been bothering her for a while now. Pieces that weren't adding up—or, perhaps, they were all adding up, just in a way Rinoa didn't expect.

A few weeks ago—after a considerable amount of poking and prodding—Rinoa had managed to get Squall to open up about his past. He had talked about life in the orphanage, and how things had been. Rinoa was curious to know more, and later on she found herself asking Edea about where Squall had come from.

"We got him from Winhill, along with Ellone," Edea had said. "The two were inseparable."

"Oh," Rinoa had said. "Squall didn't mention that."

Edea had shrugged. "He never knew. We usually didn't tell children where they came from until they got older, and by the time Squall was at the right age, he'd already enlisted in SeeD. Soon, he forgot all about the orphanage and probably never spent much time wondering where he'd come from."

And now that Rinoa thought about it, hadn't Squall or Ellone or someone else mentioned that Laguna had fallen in love with a woman from Winhill? And wasn't that around the time that Squall would have been born?

(It has to be…)

Rinoa pursed her lips and took a step towards Laguna.

"Um… Laguna?" she asked. For a second, she worried that he'd already fallen asleep, but he raised his eyebrows. "That woman you left behind in Winhill. The one who raised Ellone. What was her name?"

A long, warm smile crossed Laguna's face. "Raine. Her name was Raine."

And with that, he fell asleep.

("Her given name is Julia Raine, named after both of her deceased grandmothers.")

Rinoa turned and opened the door, stepping back out into the hallway. Squall stood a few paces away, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Rinoa couldn't help herself—she immediately looked him up and down, trying to find similarities between him and Laguna.

True, he didn't share many physical features with Laguna, but she thought she could see something—in the way he held himself, in the way he acted. Both Laguna and Squall were always thinking, always wondering, but while Laguna's thoughts always plunged immediately out of his mouth, Squall's thoughts always stayed buried in his head. But they were both leaders—in their own way—and heroes and fighters. She wondered how different Squall would have been if he hadn't been raised in an orphanage. If he'd known his parents, or at least his father. If he hadn't convinced himself that the world was going to abandon him one day.

(Squall…)

(You're not as alone as you think you are.)

Squall turned to her. "Is he asleep?"

Rinoa nodded.

"Then let's go," Squall said. Rinoa followed after him. One day she would tell him the truth. Let him know about the connections he shared with people. But not today.

Today, there were still too many things to do, too many scars left to heal.

(But someday.)

(Someday he'll know.)

---

(Selphie)

(Three days after)

"And you remember what to do, right?" Squall asked.

"Ehhhhh… I remember bits and pieces," Selphie said. "Really, the whole thing is kind of a blur."

Squall leaned back in his chair and sighed. His chair creaked, as if agreeing with him. Selphie frowned hard at him and crossed her arms.

"It's now my fault I don't remember," she said. "I was a little possessed at the time."

Squall held up his hands to placate her. "I'm not blaming you, Selphie. It's just… it would solve a lot of our problems if you knew for sure that could do this."

"And I think I can," Selphie said. "I just don't know I can."

Squall looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded and leaned forward in his chair resting his elbows on his desk. His office—nothing more than a converted guest dorm room—was sparsely furnished, with only the bare essentials inside. There was one squeaky wooden chair, one scarred old desk, and a stack of papers that had been building up during Squall's absence from SeeD. He had managed to work his way through some of the documents during his time back at school, but Selphie could see he still had a long way to go.

(He could at least put in a second chair so I didn't have to stand here like a dummy.)

She tugged at the hems of her uniform. For some reason, it didn't feel like it fit anymore. As if someone had swapped her dress for someone else's while Selphie had been away.

(Well, I have been wearing my civilian clothes for a while.)

(Guess I'm just not used to this anymore.)

"I suppose it'll have to do," Squall said. "And if doesn't work, then Mireya and her followers will think we're weird. No real harm done."

Selphie nodded vigorously. "Right! So… umm… is everyone gonna be there?"

She wasn't particularly susceptible to stage fright, but if she gathered all her friends together only to find out that she couldn't do the same trick twice, then it would look really bad for her.

(Super awkward!)

"Well, everyone except Zell," Squall said. "He's still in the infirmary."

"How's he doin'?" Selphie asked.

"He seems agitated about something," Squall said. "Dr. K gave him some sedatives to help him sleep, but he keeps muttering about a secret plan or something. He got hit pretty hard on the head back in G-Garden."

"I hope he's alright," Selphie said. "Maybe I'll go see him."

"Wait until after the trial," Squall said. "I may need your support if things don't go according to plan."

"You don't think there'll be another fight, do you?" Selphie asked.

"I doubt it," Squall said. "But we can't leave it to chance. Having two sorceresses on standby will keep the more rebellious students from getting any ideas."

"I could make the trial scarier if you want," Selphie said. "Blow in some fog, have some thunder and lighting. Make it real dramatic, you know? That might make Mireya's goons think twice about starting something again."

Squall expression didn't change. "That won't be necessary."

"Aww…" Selphie said.

(Sure it's not necessary.)

(But we can still do it.)

Squall quickly sorted through the last of his paperwork, dividing it all into three neat piles. Selphie titled her head to the side and read the titles atop the documents, mouthing along with the words. Squall caught her doing it, frowned at her, and then flipped the papers over.

Selphie looked offended. "Oh, come on. What's so secret about the budget for repairing the quad? You don't have to hide that from me."

"It doesn't concern you," Squall said. "Now come on. We don't have long to do this before the trial starts."

"Righto," Selphie said. Squall rose from his desk and opened the door, motioning for Selphie to step into the hallway. She hopped across the threshold and Squall exited after her. He closed the door to his office—a plaque reading, "Squall Leonhart, SeeD Commander" was mounted on the front—and then pulled a key from his pocket and locked the door. He stuffed the key back into his pocket and began walking down the hall, with Selphie a few steps behind.

They entered the large central area of Garden. Plaster, tape, and other cheap repairs concealed the bullet holes and scorch marks in the walls. It was ugly, but Selphie had to admit that it was an improvement. Garden had gone from looking like a warzone to looking like a sloppy construction site.

Esthar had offered to give the school full repairs, but Squall wanted to return to Balamb and deal with a few issues—including Mireya's trial—before settling in to Esthar for any length of time. As such, Garden had only received a cursory repair job, enough to patch up the damage but not really fix anything.

The entrance to the quad was blocked off by a giant sheet of plywood marked with the words, "Do not enter." The hole outside the cafeteria was cordoned off with bright yellow tape and covered with more plywood. The third floor was completely sealed off, and only Nida, Squall, Quistis, and the Headmaster were allowed up there until it was made safe again, and even they approached that area with caution.

The second floor classrooms were all but obliterated, and only about one out of every ten computers was salvageable. As such, the school was once again on an unscheduled break. It was simply impossible to hold lectures at the moment. But still, Squall wanted to maintain decorum and a sense of discipline during the break, so everyone was required to wear their uniforms and conduct themselves as members of SeeD. There were plenty of students in the halls—talking, walking, or inspecting the damage to the school—but they were fairly subdued. The events of the past few days had put a cloud over Garden and no one seemed willing to perk up. Even their arrival back in Balamb—and receiving a fresh shipment of food and supplies—hadn't done much to improve the atmosphere.

(I'll have to change that.)

Selphie waved at a pair of students that she knew and smiled broadly. They waved back to her, nodded at Squall, and continued on. Selphie jogged so she could walk side-by-side with Squall, then turned to him.

"So, I heard you talked to Sir Laguna when we were in the Esthar hospital," Selphie said.

"Yeah," Squall said.

"Well?" Selphie asked. "What'd he say?"

Squall shrugged. "Nothing much. He was drugged up the whole time we were there. He started rambling about regrets and the past and such. I don't think he knew where he was or what was going on."

"Oh, that sucks," Selphie said. "Still, I'd've liked to talk to him before we left. You didn't have to rush us out the door so fast!"

She frowned at Squall.

"I didn't want us to get sucked into Esthar's problems," Squall said. "If we would have stayed around, they would have tried to get us to help them."

"So?" Selphie said. "What's wrong with helpin' out?"

"We have our own problems to deal with," Squall said.

The two climbed the steps to the central elevator. Squall stabbed the "call" button and they waited. Fortunately, Mireya had still been carrying the elevator key in her pocket when she was captured, allowing the elevators to be turned back on.

(It woulda sucked if she had thrown away the key.)

The elevator arrived with a chime and the two stepped on board. Since every floor above the first was wrecked, few people had any reason to ride the elevator. Selphie and Squall entered the cab alone, and Squall pushed the button for the second floor.

"Was Sis at the hospital?" Selphie asked.

Squall hesitated. Selphie narrowed her eyes and looked at him, waiting for a response. He stared out the front window, acting as if he hadn't heard her.

"Well?" Selphie asked. "Was she?"
"Umm… no," Squall said. "She had other things to do."

"Huh," Selphie said. "Weird. If Sir Laguna was in the hospital, you'da thought she'd be right by his bedside."

"Yeah, well, she was doing tests with Dr. Odine," Squall said.

"Sis chose to be with Odine over Sir Laguna?" Selphie asked incredulously. "I don't believe it."

"She can do what she wants," Squall said, with a hard edge to his voice. Selphie drew back, surprised by his anger.

"Woah, geez," Selphie said. "You're a little testy today. Rinoa elbow you in the gut when you were sleepin' last night or something?"

The elevator arrived at the second floor with a chime. Squall shook his head at Selphie and stepped out. Selphie paused for a few seconds, watching him go.

(He's hiding something.)

She shrugged and followed.

(Oh, well. He's always hiding something.)

And she put the matter out of her mind. She had been about to tell Squall about how Ellone had linked up with her mind and brought her back to Deling City, to the first fight against Edea and Ultimecia, but then she remembered that Ellone had told her not to tell Squall, and she stopped herself.

They headed across the walkway and then turned to the left. They continued down the hall, passing closed and locked classroom doors. Almost every single one was cordoned off with yellow tape and stern signs forbidding access.

Finally, they got to the detention center at the end of the hall. It was one of the few rooms that hadn't been torn up in all the fighting. Squall pushed open the door and the two of them entered.

Selphie had never been inside the Balamb Garden detention center before. She had only transferred to the school a little over a month ago, and had never had any disciplinary problems in that time. Nor did she know anyone who did. Irvine sometimes flirted with trouble, but so far he hadn't done anything to earn himself a night in detention.

Unlike Galbadia Garden's detention center—which was built to resemble a prison—the Balamb Garden detention center was friendlier. Or, perhaps, less unfriendly. A central hallway ran between two sealed rooms, and each room came with a pane of one-way glass installed, so that people in the hall could see into the rooms, but the people inside could only see their own reflections. Inside each room was a desk and some chairs, as well as a small bookshelf stacked with research papers and school documents so that students could study while they were in detention.

Mireya sat in the room on the left, and two of her lackeys were in the room on the right. Squall had decided that it was in everyone's best interest to keep them as separated as possible, to prevent any plotting or thoughts of escape.

Quistis, Irvine, and Rinoa were standing around waiting for Squall and Selphie to arrive. Rinoa stepped over to Squall and promptly stood by his side.

"Heya, Rinoa," Selphie said cheerfully. Rinoa nodded.

Selphie had been trying to make a point of being extra nice to Rinoa, following her "slight cosmetic alteration," as Headmaster Cid called it. Rinoa was obviously taking it hard, and Selphie wanted to cheer her up. Although, frankly, Selphie didn't see what she had to be upset about. The lines around her face looked like Zell's tattoo and give Rinoa a fierce look. Her hands were currently covered in soft white gloves that extended up to her elbows, but the one time that Selphie had seen them bare, she had thought they were pretty awesome too.
(I think it's cool to have claws.)

But apparently Rinoa disagreed.

No one else had suffered any major changes. Quistis always looked tired, and Irvine always looked bored and distracted, as if he never knew what he was supposed to be doing. Irvine suffered occasional headaches from an injury he took during the fighting, but he didn't let it stop him.

"Hiya," Selphie said, waving to everyone.

"Took y'all long enough," Irvine said.

"I had some paperwork to deal with before the trial," Squall said. "What's been going on?"

Quistis shook her head. "Nothing. Mireya and her cronies have been model prisoners. Mostly they just sit and read."

"Good," Squall said. He turned to Selphie. "Are you ready?"

Selphie shrugged. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Who should we start with?" Irvine asked.

"I think it would be best to start with Len and Minde," Quistis said. "We shouldn't try new techniques on Mireya right before the trial. If something goes wrong, something that interferes with the trial, it could come back to bite us."

Selphie caught the implied meaning behind Quistis words.

(Len and Minde are more disposable.)

(So if something goes wrong, it won't matter so much.)

A grim way of looking at it, but Selphie understood the logic behind it. No one had any arguments, so Squall proceeded to open the door to the room containing Mireya's two surviving lackeys.

During the battle inside Garden, when Quistis arrived with NORG's pod, only a solid core of about ten or so students still remained loyal to Mireya. Quistis had originally intended to punish all ten once she regained control of Garden, but considering the fact that almost all of them had repented and chosen to fight with SeeD once Mireya became a sorceress, Quistis had decided to pardon them. Len and Minde, however, had chosen to fight until the very end and now they would be punished accordingly. Dax would have been punished as well, had he survived. Instead, he was buried without honors in a grave in Esthar. He had no family to notify of his passing.

Selphie and the others stepped inside the room. The two prisoners looked up with bored expressions. Len was a slender young man with long red hair tied back in a ponytail. He reminded Selphie of Irvine—mostly because of the hair. He was sitting on the floor in the corner, skimming through a medical textbook.

Minde rested with her back on the floor and her legs straight up in the air against the wall. Her hands were folded across her stomach and her thumbs were drawing circles around each other. Her pale hair was fanned out around her head.

"If you're gonna kill us," Minde said, "Do it now. I'm sick of waiting."

"Agreed," Len said.

Selphie peered down at Len's book. She realized that he wasn't just skimming through a medical textbook—he was examining the section on female anatomy.

(Pervert!)

"We're not here to kill you," Squall said. "Stand up."

Len slammed the book closed with a sigh and climbed to his feet. Minde dropped her feet down to the floor and then, arching backwards gracefully, got her legs beneath her and lifted herself off the ground without using her hands—like a ballet dancer. Selphie was impressed by her flexibility, but annoyed by how flippant the two were.

(Even I've got better manners.)

"So what are you gonna do, Commander?" Len asked.

"You'll see," Squall said. He turned to Selphie and nodded for her to approach. She sighed, focused herself, and approached Len the pervert, because she had decided that she liked him the least of the two. She got within arm's reach of him and then shut her eyes.

Like she had told Squall, she didn't remember much about when she was possessed by Ultimecia. She didn't recall blowing up the quad, and she certainly didn't remember much about how she stole Bahamut from Zell, severing his connection to his own GF.

But she could feel the knowledge lurking somewhere in her brain, like the name of a song that she couldn't quite remember. She knew that she knew how, she just needed to figure out how to bring that knowledge to the surface.

As she closed her eyes, she sent out her senses, until she found that she could feel everyone's Guardian Forces. Shiva glowed a pale, chill blue within Selphie's chest. The dark shadow of Diablos roiled within Irvine's mind. The solid brown chunk of the Brothers GF sat within Quistis. Ordinarily, Squall would have had Quezacotl, but the lightning GF had been lost along with the Lunatic Pandora. Squall theorized that it had been absorbed into the Crystal Pillar and destroyed. As such, he had begun junctioning with the wind GF Pandemona, giving a pale, wispy glow to his aura. Rinoa was the only one in the room who wasn't junctioning.

Selphie turned her attention to Mireya's two followers. She detected the small, cheerful sprite named Carbuncle dancing around within Minde's mind.

(A cute GF for a mean person.)

She focused on Len and found the cool torrent of Leviathan, the water GF, swirling in his heart. At first she tried connecting with it, the way that she had been trained to do as a SeeD. Then she remembered that this ability was one of her sorceress powers, not a SeeD ability, so she altered her mindset, ignoring her SeeD training and relying on the instinctive knowledge that came with her newfound powers.

As she focused, she found that she could almost reach out and touch Leviathan with her energy. Not knowing how else to approach the problem, she shrugged to herself and attempted to do just that. She extended translucent, invisible hands of energy into Len's chest and used her imaginary fingers to grab the long, scaly tail of the water GF. Leviathan immediately woke from a slumber, struggled and surged, fighting to escape her grasp.

"Grk…" Len said. He clutched his chest and dropped to one knee.

"Hey… what," Minde said. She looked at Selphie. "What are you doing?"

Quistis stepped forward and restrained Minde, preventing her from interfering. Selphie focused harder, sweat forming on her brow. Len began gasping, his eyes open wide, staring at nothing.

"You said you weren't gonna kill us!" Minde said.

Selphie worked to ignore her and pulled at Leviathan's tail. She could feel the bindings that connected the GF to Len, and she could feel them begin to stretch and tear. With one final pull, she felt the threads snap apart as the GF's energy separated completely from Len's. Len let out a long, pained gasp and dropped face-first onto the floor at Selphie's feet.

Water manifested in the room as the GF hovered on the midpoint between manifesting into reality and remaining as intangible energy. The floor got soaked, and a fine mist sprayed Selphie's face. As Leviathan thrashed around the room—invisible to all but Selphie—it threw buckets of water off itself, splashing the walls, the ceiling, and everyone inside the room.

(Go away!)

She urged the GF to depart and without hesitation it did, slithering away through the floor and heading for the nearest river or lake. After a few seconds, its energy was completely gone from the room, and Len's aura was as blank as Rinoa's. He was no longer junctioning, and his Guardian Force was gone.

Selphie snapped open her eyes. Everyone was drenched, and a standing pool of water covered the floor. The books in the bookshelf were sopping wet and water dripped from the ceiling.

"Did it work?" Irvine asked, knocking water off his cowboy hat.

"Yeah… it worked," Selphie said. Len continued to lie on the floor, coughing and choking and grabbing at his chest as if she had just ripped out his heart. He rolled onto his back to keep his nose and mouth away from the pool of water.

"What'd…" he said. "What'd you do to me?"

"The punishment for treason," Quistis said calmly, "Is expulsion from Garden and the forfeiture of all SeeD-owned property, including Guardian Forces."

"Hell…" Len said, still lying on his back. "I woulda just given you the stupid GF."

"But now," Quistis said, "If this worked the way we think, you shouldn't be able to junction at all anymore."

Len's eyes snapped open. "What?"

"SeeD gave you that GF," she said. "SeeD taught you how to use it. Those skills and knowledge belong to Garden. We can't afford to let you use our own training against us."

"What?" Minde shouted, staring with horror down at Len, then up to Selphie. The look of horror and disgust in her eyes made Selphie retreat a step.

"Selphie," Squall said. "Hurry up and do her too."

"Umm…" Selphie said. She bit her lip. "Sure…"

Pulling Len's Guardian Force out of him had been a hideous feeling. It felt like ripping the ears off a live, screaming rabbit. Now that she thought about it, she realized that there had been a tearing sound as well, making the whole experience even worse. Suddenly she was glad that she didn't remember pulling Bahamut out of Zell.

(If I'd known…)

(… I wouldn't've agreed to this.)

"Selphie," Squall said. "Hurry."

Minde was struggling in Quistis' grasp. She wasn't really fighting just yet, but her motions were getting more desperate, more violent. If Selphie didn't do anything, then there would be a fight inside the detention center.

(I don't wanna…)

Grimacing, Selphie closed her eyes and focused on Minde. Now that she had done it once before, it was easy to find Carbuncle inside Minde's head, to embrace it with her invisible hands, and then to tear it out of Minde's body like a glowing tumor. As before, the GF spent a moment being partially summoned and un-summoned. A brilliant flash of light burst through the room, forcing everyone to close their eyes and turn their heads. Selphie commanded the GF to go away, and it obeyed, sneaking through the walls and vanishing.

Minde coughed once, then collapsed in Quistis' arms. Surprised by her sudden drop, Quistis fell down into the water along with her, both women splashing on the floor.

"Aack…" Minde said, spitting water out of her mouth. "That freakin' huuurt."

Selphie winced. "I'm sorry. I tried to do it quick."

"To hell with you," Minde muttered. "To hell with all of you."

Then she began sputtering out a long list of curses that made even Irvine's eyebrows lift up in surprise.

"Let's go," Squall said. "One more left."

He turned and sloshed through the water. When he opened the door, the water spilled out into the hallway. He grimaced and stepped out. Selphie and the others followed him, leaving Minde and Len laying on the floor, recovering. Squall shut the door behind them.

"Are they going to be okay?" Rinoa asked. She looked first to Squall, then to Selphie.

(Don't ask me.)

(I don't know.)

"Zell recovered quickly enough," Squall said. "I'm sure they will too."

Irvine smirked. "Frankly, anyone who could spray out a stream of cussin' that creative can't be hurt too bad. I mean, I didn't even know you could do that with a basketball. The girl's got some imagination, let me tell ya."

"It's not funny, Irvine," Selphie said. "It… really hurt them."

She remembered the tearing sensation, the sound in her head as the connections were forcefully severed. She fought down a shudder.

Irvine shrugged. "I don't waste my pity on punks who tried to kill my friends. Honestly, I'm glad it hurt. I wish it would hurt more. In fact, when you do Mireya, try to drag it out for as long as possible, okay?"

"Irvine!" Quistis snapped.

"Sorry, Commander," Irvine said, not sounding sorry at all. "Just speakin' my piece."

Squall crossed his arms. "This isn't supposed to be torture. We're just making sure that Mireya and her allies can't use their powers after they've been expelled. We already have one trio of SeeD-trained and junctioned lunatics running around. We can't afford to have another."

(Who's he talking…)

(Oh. Seifer and his posse.)

(Wonder where they are now?)

Selphie had a hard time believing that Seifer could escape from Esthar, given that he was a wanted man in the city. But then, with all the confusion following the battle, Selphie thought that there might have been a chance he had escaped. In any case, she hadn't heard anything from him since their last battle.

"Just one more, Selphie," Quistis said soothingly. "One more, and then it'll be over."

"It's for the best," Squall said.

"Yeah," Selphie said softly.

Rinoa looked sympathetic, but Irvine seemed almost derisive. She frowned at him and made a point of not making eye contact with him as the group entered into Mireya's detention room.

Mireya was seated at a desk, a second pair of glasses pushed high on her face—replacements for the ones that had been broken in G-Garden. She had three open books spread out on the desk before her and was comparing notes between them. She glanced up when the group entered, then narrowed her eyes.

"You're wet," she said. "Why?"

Only then did Selphie and the others remember that they were all still soaking wet from when she had pulled Leviathan out of Len. Rinoa sighed, then summoned a blast of warm air. The air rushed across their skin, through their clothes, and through their hair. Something about the magical air made it dry them off quicker than an ordinary breeze would have, and within seconds they were all dry again.

"That's a convenient ability," Mireya said.

"Stand up," Squall said, motioning with one hand.

Mireya sighed and pushed back from the desk, but Selphie stopped her.

"No, there's no point," Selphie said. "I can do it either way."

Reluctantly, Selphie closed her eyes and focused, sending out her energy through the room. She found everyone's Guardian Forces again, and felt the angelic beauty of the GF named Siren hiding inside Mireya.

(That makes sense.)

(A demon that lures people to their deaths with pretty songs.)

Dreading the sensation, the awful ripping sound, Selphie reached out with her invisible hands and grabbed Siren around the leg. She clenched her teeth and yanked hard, ripping Siren out in one quick motion. The room was filled with a horrible noise—one part melodic song, another part fierce animal scream—and then everything was silent. The energy of the Guardian Force hovered in the room for several seconds until Selphie bid it to depart. For Selphie, it was better the third time, but this wasn't something that she wanted to get used to.

Mireya choked out a pained sound, then collapsed from her chair. Her glasses tumbled from her face and landed on the floor beside her. Her legs were tangled up in the backrest of her chair for several seconds. Finally, gravity took over and the chair tipped on its side, and her feet landed on the floor. Otherwise, she didn't move for several seconds.

"Are you alive?" Squall asked.

Mireya wheezed in response.

"Your trial's about to start soon," Squall said. "Get yourself ready." He pulled a radio from his belt and pushed the button. "Nida. We're ready to start. Call it in."

"Roger, Commander," Nida said.

A few seconds later, the intercom chimed.

"The trial for Mireya Roshfall, Len Shalmal, and Minde Fulcura will begin at the front gate shortly," Nida's voice said. "Everyone who wishes to attend should begin gathering in the designated areas. No weapons will be allowed in the common areas until the conclusion of the trial and the sentencing. Thank you."

The intercom chimed again and then shut off. Squall turned around and opened the door, and the group stepped back out into the hall. He closed the door, and Selphie let out a long sigh.

(Well… it's done.)

She felt dirty. She scrubbed at her bare arms and scratched at her hair.

"Not a word of this to anyone," Squall said to the group. "No one needs to know what happened here. If Mireya or her lackeys say anything, we'll deny it, got that?"

"Not even Zell?" Selphie asked.

"He can't be trusted with secrets," Squall said. "He'd blurt something out eventually, I'm sure."

"What about the Headmaster?" Irvine asked.

"Not even him," Squall said. "This stays between us."

There was a long pause. Selphie chewed on her lip.

Of course, she understood the need for secrecy. Squall had explained his reasoning before enacting this plan. He wanted to strip Mireya and her lackeys of their powers before expelling them, but he knew that there'd be no time for that after the trial. And he didn't want to do it publicly, in front of the student body. Everyone was scared enough of sorceresses as it was. If they knew that Selphie could rip Guardian Forces out of people—and leave them permanently scarred and unable to junction—then there might be another battle. They had to keep this secret.

(Still…)

(Not even the Headmaster?)

Maybe Squall was afraid that the Headmaster wouldn't approve. Selphie didn't know. In fact, now that she thought about it, she was sure that the Headmaster wouldn't approve. This was too much. Everyone in the world had the potential to junction—SeeD merely trained people so they could learn how to utilize this ability. Although the training did belong to SeeD, the ability was inherent in all people. Taking it away seemed like crippling them for no reason.

But Selphie was the only one who seemed really bothered by it. Rinoa was sympathetic, but she hadn't actually experienced the sensation, hadn't felt what it was like to take their GFs. She could only relate on a moral level, not a personal one.

(It felt like pulling out their souls.)

"Rinoa," Squall said. "Can you dry off Len and Minde and fix their room? It'd be suspicious if it's still wet when we transport them down to the front gate."

Rinoa nodded. She stepped into the second detention room, called up another blast of wind, and then stepped back into the hall. Selphie watched it all happen through the one-way glass.

Squall nodded. "Alright. This never happened."

He turned and left, exiting back into the second floor hallway. Rinoa stayed by his side, followed by Quistis. Only Selphie and Irvine were left in the hallway. When Selphie made no move towards the door, Irvine approached her.

"Somethin' on your mind, Selph?" he asked.

"I don't wanna do that again," Selphie said. She shook her head. "Never ever."

"And you won't have to," Irvine said. "This was a special case. Mireya was bad news. We couldn't just kick her out and let her roam free. Like Squall said, we already got Seifer runnin' amok. We don't need her doin' the same."

"I dunno…" Selphie said. "What if someone else like Mireya comes along? Or… just, anyone that Squall thinks is a threat. Is he gonna have me do that for everyone that he doesn't like?"

Irvine sighed. "He's not gonna make you pull out a Guardian Force every time a student is late to class or fails a test, Selphie. You're overreacting."

"I am not!" Selphie said, stomping the floor.

Irvine smiled. "You know, you're cute when you're angry."

(That is NOT what I wanna hear right now!)

For a man who claimed to understand women, he was incredibly dense.

"You know, this probably isn't the time," Irvine said, suddenly growing serious. "But I wanted to talk to you. 'Bout us."

(I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!)

"You're right," Selphie said. "This isn't the time."

Irvine sighed. He turned his head and pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes. "When is it ever gonna be the time?"

Selphie turned around, putting her back to Irvine.

"I'm gonna go back to Trabia Garden," Selphie said. "I'm gonna be an ambassador again. I already talked to Squall about it."

"What about me?" Irvine asked.

The anger inside her wanted her to impulsively say that he couldn't come with. That he had to stay in Garden. After all, he had never taken the Field Exam, so he wasn't technically a SeeD. There was sound logic in leaving him behind and having him go through the process and make himself a legitimate member of the team.

But before she could shut him out, she remembered what he had done after she had learned of Tomomi's death. Squall, Quistis, and Rinoa had been too busy with other projects in order to give Selphie any time and Zell had been unconscious, leaving only Irvine to support her.

She didn't cry, or scream, or rage, or do any of that. She had come to accept death as a reality—both for herself and for her friends and allies—a long time ago. And compared to the loss of Trabia Garden and the dozens of friends who had died there, Tomomi's death was just a painful afterthought, another grave among many.

Instead, she had talked to Irvine. Aside from the students at Trabia Garden, no one had known who Tomomi was. So Selphie sat down with Irvine and told him stories about her and Tomomi. The mischief they had gotten into at school. The things she believed, the things she said. The reasons why she chose her weapon specialty, and why she enlisted Trabia Garden instead of one of the other Gardens. It was a eulogy of sorts, dedicated to the happy memories that Selphie had shared with her friend.

And Irvine had listened to it all, laughing with the funny parts and showing sympathy for the serious parts. Irvine could be a complete dunce at times, and she still didn't believe that he would ever change his womanizing ways, but he had been a loyal and dependable friend. For that, she couldn't just send him away in a fit of rage.

"You can come if you want," Selphie said.

"And I do," Irvine said. "I do wanna come with."

Selphie turned around and headed for the door. "Alright then. Pack your bags. We leave as soon as Squall gets everything ready."

---

(Zell)

(Two weeks after)

"Anything now?" Rinoa asked.

Zell closed his eyes and focused on the worn pair of boxing gloves in his hands. Once again, he could feel the power of the GF Ifrit hidden away inside the gloves, a vague sense of fiery energy, but he could not access it. After several seconds of trying, he shook his head.

(Man…)

"No," Zell said. He slumped his shoulders. "It's still not working."

Rinoa sighed. She looked around Zell's room, as if the answer was hidden somewhere in his dorm. Recently, she had begun to wear her bangs forward over her eyes, obscuring the marks on her face and hiding her darkened irises. Zell didn't think it was a good look for her. It made her look angry and brooding, and a little bit messy. But he didn't comment.

(What do I know about women's fashion?)

"I don't know what else to try," Rinoa said. "Maybe… maybe Selphie could help you. Her power broke your connection with Guardian Forces. Maybe it could bring it back too?"

"Makes sense," Zell said. "I wish she and Irvine hadn't taken off before I got out of the infirmary. Why were they in such a hurry to get back to Trabia Garden?"

Rinoa shrugged. "I don't know."

Zell turned around and opened the large wooden cabinet on the side of his room. He hung the boxing gloves from a hook in the back, behind a few of his clothes and his cadet uniform, then shut the cabinet and turned around. Ami stood off to the side, frowning in thought but not speaking.

"Thanks for tryin' again," Zell said. "Sorry I wasted your time."

"No problem," Rinoa said. She straightened up. "You know, if you wanna take a trip to see Selphie, I'm sure Squall would approve it. You don't have to worry about that."

"Yeah…" Zell said. "I know."

But whenever he thought about leaving Garden to go find Selphie, he always got a vague sense of unease in his stomach. Was he afraid of meeting Selphie? That didn't make sense. He'd known Selphie for too long, been through too much with her for him to be nervous about seeing her again.

He figured that he was probably just reluctant to leave Garden, especially now that things had finally settled down. It was nice to have the school be like it was in the old days. He didn't want to go anywhere just yet, even if it was to restore his junctions.

(Yeah… that must be it.)

"Well, I gotta go," Rinoa said. She waved at Zell, then at Amy. "I'll be around if you need me."

"Thanks, Rinoa," Ami said. She waved as Rinoa left the room. She shut Zell's dorm room door behind her, leaving the two alone. Zell flopped down hard on the edge of his bed and stared down at the floor. He let out a dramatic sigh and then punched his pillow with one hand, driving his knuckles into the center. He wasn't really angry—and definitely not angry enough to punch anything—but the release of physical action helped ease his disappointment.

"You want to go talk to Squall?" Ami asked. "Put in a request to go see Selphie?"

"Maybe later," Zell said. He grabbed his pillow and threw it behind his head, then laid down on his bed, his pillow wrapped around his neck like a brace.

Ami frowned at him. "Don't you want your junctions back? I thought this was important to you."

"It is," Zell said. He stared at the ceiling. "And I do want my junctions back. It's just… I dunno. I got this weird feelin' that it won't work. That even Selphie can't help me."

"You won't know if it will work until you try," Ami said. She folded her hands in front of her.

"Yeah… but," Zell said. He waved a hand. "I got a lot to do around here too. My class is startin' next week and I'm still writin' up that stupid lesson plan. I don't wanna take time off right now."

Ami smiled and shook her head. "Are you sure you're not just making excuses? I can write that lesson plan for you if you want. The Headmaster doesn't care who writes it, just so long as it's finished and submitted before the class starts."

Zell sat up quickly. "I'm not making excuses! I'm just… I dunno. I feel… boxed in, you know?"

He hopped off his bed and began to pace the room. "Like, I gotta go do something, but I don't know what."

"If you're really feeling anxious," Ami said, "Then you should go talk to Selphie. I'm sure that will take a lot off your mind. Even if you're right and she can't help you, just getting out of Garden for a bit and making the effort will probably help you calm down."

"Maybe," Zell said. He stopped pacing and rubbed his jaw thoughtfully with one hand. "I'll think about it. Maybe I'll go after this semester. Once this semester is over, I'll have a break. I can go see Selphie then."

(Yeah, that sounds good.)

(I'll go after the semester's over.)

Already he started to feel better.

"You're stalling," Ami said. "Even if Selphie was right down the hall and waiting for you, I think you'd still procrastinate on seeing her."

When Zell didn't answer, she put one hand on her hip and cocked her head at him.

"You know what I think?" Ami asked. Zell glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "I think you've made SeeD your whole identity."

(Huh?)

Zell frowned.

"…Well, yeah," he said. "I'm a SeeD. That's who I am."

"Yes," Ami said. "But you've let that be all that you are. You don't imagine yourself outside of Garden. You and I almost never talk about what your plans are for the future, and when we do, you always talk about Garden. I think you're worried that if you can never junction again, you'll stop being a SeeD. And that once you aren't a SeeD anymore, you'll stop being Zell. And you're so worried about it that you'd rather stay locked up in here than find out the truth."

"That's not…" Zell said. But then he stopped and thought about it.

(What do I do outside of SeeD?)

(What do I want outside of SeeD?)

The answer to both of those questions was "nothing," and Zell knew it. Ami was right: SeeD had become his whole world. All his friends were in SeeD, all his hobbies were in SeeD, his job was SeeD, his future was SeeD. And SeeDs, by definition, junctioned and used magic. If Zell couldn't junction anymore, then where would he fit in? How would he help out at school? How could he help his friends? Would his friends even let him go on missions?

He thought about the time on the bridge, just before the battle between the two Gardens. Quistis had agreed to let him join the mission, but then the moment he had confessed to losing his junctions, she had changed her mind. She had told him that he'd hold them back or get in the way.

(Is that what I'm doin' now?)

(Am I holding people back?)

But as long as he stayed in Garden, as long as he didn't find out the truth, he could always tell Squall and the others that one day he might get his junctions back. One day, he might be useful again. But if he went and found Selphie and she couldn't do anything to help him, then that was it. Zell would become nothing.

"Maybe. I dunno," Zell said. "You got a point."

Ami nodded, then stood up and grabbed Zell by the arm, turning his body towards him. Zell met her gaze.

"Tell you what," Ami said. "Work on your lesson plan. Teach this semester and then during your break, go and see Selphie."

"Why?" Zell asked. "I thought you didn't want me to procrastinate."

"And I don't," Ami said. "I don't want you to put off seeing Selphie because you're afraid of the truth. I want you to put off seeing her so that you have a chance to find out who you are without your junctions. Find out where you belong. I want you to spend some time being just Zell. Not Zell the fighter. Not Zell the SeeD. Not Zell the guy who punches stuff. Honestly, Zell. When was the last time you weren't junctioning?"

"Umm…" Zell said. He didn't have to think back very far. "When I had to take my instructor's test with Xu. She made me take off my junctions."

Ami cuffed him gently on the shoulder. "No, I mean for a long time. Days, at least."

Zell grimaced.

(The last time I didn't junction for days?)

He honestly couldn't remember. It had to have been some time before he enlisted in SeeD. Once he had unlocked the power of Guardian Forces, he never wanted to be without them again.

The look in Zell's face told her everything. Ami nodded. "I thought so," she said. "First, figure out who you are, then go and see Selphie."

"But I already know who I am," Zell said. Zell wasn't big on philosophical questions, so the idea of questioning his identity didn't come naturally to him. "I mean, I know the basics."

"I don't think any of us truly know who we are," Ami said. "We're still teenagers, Zell. If people were meant to know everything when they were seventeen, then we'd grow old and die when we turned thirty. I'm pretty sure even Headmaster Cid is still learning and changing."

Zell smirked. "Jeez. I can't imagine bein' his age and still learning about myself."

Ami gave him a withering look. "He's not that old. Stop it."

"All right, all right," Zell said. "I'll find out about the real me. Take some time, clear my head. When I got this all figured out, I'll go see Selphie."

"If it makes you feel better," Ami said, "Think about this: if you're having such a hard time getting your junctions back, then I'm sure Mireya and her goons aren't doing any better."

"Ugh…" Zell said. He slumped his shoulders. "Why'd you have to go and remind me of them?"

Zell had still been in the infirmary during Mireya's trial, so he had only secondhand information about the whole affair. According to everyone at school, Squall, Quistis, and the Headmaster had presided over a quick trial of Mireya and her associates, detailing their crimes against the school. After the charges were read, all three plead "guilty" and were immediately expelled from Garden. They forfeited their weapons, their uniforms, and anything else that had been issued to them. A few minutes later, they were driven to Balamb and dropped off. The whole process took less than a half an hour and was—by most accounts—rather boring and anticlimactic.

(Still, I woulda liked to have seen it.)

(Just to watch her go…)

"Forgetting about the past isn't going to help us," Ami said. "And anyway, I don't think a resourceful and determined person like Mireya is going to allow herself to be forgotten easily. I think we'll be hearing from her again someday."

"Yeah," Zell said. "But…" he looked at Ami. "We gave her what she wanted. She wanted to be a martyr, to make all sorceresses look bad. And the whole trial thing just played into that. If I hadn't been in the infirmary, I coulda told Squall. We coulda done something."

Ami frowned. "I don't think it would have mattered much either way. By the time the fighting was over, the damage had already been done. At least, with the trial, we got rid of her in a diplomatic fashion and removed her as a threat."

"Yeah, but…" Zell said. "You see the way some people look at Rinoa? Like she's a bomb that's gonna explode any second? It can't just be her eyes, you know. People are afraid of her. That's Mireya's fault."

"It is Mireya's fault," Ami said. "That's true. But accusing Mireya of concocting an elaborate scheme to slander every sorceress in the world wouldn't have changed their minds. It would have made us look crazy, especially if Mireya was smart enough to play it to her advantage."

Zell sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right."

(Still though…)

(I wish I coulda said something to Squall.)

"So what were your plans for the rest of the day?" Ami asked.

"Ah, you know. Library stuff," Zell said, with a shrug. "Helping out however I can. Are you gonna be there?"

Ami shook her head. "Not my shift today. I'm actually helping out with a project for one of my friends. It's an assignment for history class."

"Ugh," Zell said. "Can't believe you volunteer to do homework."

Ami smiled and shrugged. "It's the duty of the older generation to lead the younger."

"We're not old," Zell said.

"No," Ami said. "But we'll get there someday. Anyway, see you, Zell. And don't worry so much. You'll turn into Squall."

She kissed him quickly and turned to exit his room. She waved, wiggling her fingers, then stepped into the hall and out of sight.

Zell sighed.

(I gotta figure out who I am, eh?)

How was he supposed to do that? He didn't have a clue. But, in any case, he didn't think it was a problem he'd have to solve right away. He put it out of his mind and grabbed a notebook and a pen from his desk, then stepped out into the hall, shut the door, and headed for the library.

It had been Quistis' idea that Zell should devote some time every day to keeping track of world news. He'd been impatient and antsy—even more so than usual—and she had suggested it as a good way to keep himself occupied until his classes started. He'd been skeptical at first, but he quickly found himself getting absorbed in the task. He'd always been a history buff, and news was history that was still happening, so he found it interesting to keep track of.

He didn't think he was indispensable or even all that helpful as a news finder. He was basically just a monkey that memorized facts and then repeated them to Quistis and Squall. Both of them—and the Headmaster as well—spent a lot of time online, so Zell usually only had duplicate information of what they already knew, but every now and then he turned up bits of data that they had overlooked. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make Zell feel like he was contributing.

(I'm not totally useless.)

Zell headed out into the central area of Garden. He looked to the right, habitually monitoring the progress of the repairs. In addition to scouring the world for news, he also helped with the repairs to Garden. He was one of the more mechanically inclined students in the school, so he was valuable in that regard. Unfortunately, Squall had recently begun bringing in a lot of outside contractors from Balamb to help speed up the process. The contractors didn't like having a bunch of teenagers around, so Zell found less and less work to do as the days went on.

The hole in the cafeteria hallway had been patched over with concrete, making it safe to walk across again. But it hadn't yet been finished, so there was a big circle of cold gray concrete in the middle of the tan floor. At the moment, finishing the repair on the hall was considered low priority, so Zell knew it would probably be a while before that was fixed. The quad was still off limits—except to the contractors—and no one was allowed inside. He wished he could sneak through the barricade and see how far along things were, but he didn't want to anger the contractors again. Last time they caught him inspecting their work, they shouted at him and one of them threw a roll of tape at him.

(Bunch of grumps is what they are.)

Aside from those two major issues, the first floor was almost exactly as Zell remembered it. The SeeDs and the contractors had been quick to patch up all the minor damage. The second floor was still a disaster, and Squall and the Headmaster were scratching their heads, trying to figure out how to pay for a whole school's worth of new computers. At the moment, classes had resumed as best as they could, only without the use of computers. Zell was glad that he had already graduated. He would have hated having to take all his notes in pen instead of writing them on his computer.

(Dodged a bullet there.)

He turned down the hall and headed into the library. With the second floor computers all destroyed, the library had become a major hub inside the school. After the cafeteria and the dorms, it was now the number one hangout spot inside the school. Zell didn't really care for all the distractions. He had a hard enough time focusing without all those people around.

He walked to the back and managed to find a single unused terminal. His eyes lit up.

(Jackpot.)

He dashed over and sat down before someone else could claim the seat, flipping his notebook open and powering on the computer. He was greeted by Balamb Garden's homepage. He navigated through to the news feed and began sorting his way through all the information, taking notes as he went. Since the events of the Galbadia/Esthar Conflict—as several news organizations were calling it now—at lot had been happening in the world.

Galbadia's attack on Esthar had been better planned out than anyone outside of Galbadia had realized. It recently came to light that the attack plans for an invasion of Esthar had been drawn up during the end of Deling's administration, and that President Martine had merely carried them out. Which made sense. Zell had often wondered how Galbadia had managed to organize such a complicated attack in only a few days.

Although the amount of force Galbadian had thrown at Esthar was incredible, it hadn't been an all-out attack, like some had originally thought. Nearly a quarter of Galbadia's forces had been left behind—either remaining in Galbadia or stationed elsewhere in the world. This turned out to be fortuitous for Galbadia, as their crushing defeat in Esthar had caused them to lose almost all their ground troops and over half their navy. If they had committed more of their forces, then Galbadian would have been left with almost nothing.

Once Lieutenant General Vaschel, lost contact with a large section of his fleet and his entire ground force in Esthar, he immediately coordinated a mass retreat, pulling out soldiers from the Dollet front, Fisherman's Horizon, and elsewhere in the world. His biggest fear had been that Esthar would continue their counterattack and strike Galbadia when they were weakened.

But Esthar had been too busy dealing with their own problems to mount an effective attack, and no other nations in the world were willing to stand up and hit the Galbadians, so the remaining G-Army and G-Navy forces were allowed to come home without further incident.

Lieutenant General Vaschel—now recently promoted to General, Zell read—gave occasional speeches, which Zell watched intently. He was glad to see that Vaschel always spoke of putting Galbadia first, defending their homeland, and repairing the damage done. Zell had feared that the General would talk of retribution, of war, but Vaschel seemed to be much more level-headed than his predecessors.

Several days after the battle, Timber heard that Galbadia had suffered a massive defeat in Esthar and the citizens rose up in the largest revolt since the Sorceress War. The Timber fighters were largely unarmed—fighting with improvised tools—and were disorganized as well, fighting in small cells of half a dozen to a dozen people each, but they were effective. Galbadia, still fearing an attack from Esthar, refused to commit troops to Timber and leave themselves exposed, and the Timber resistance was allowed to grab a firm foothold in the city. The fighting lasted a two nights and a day, and before SeeD or anyone else could react, Galbadian forces were being withdrawn from the city.

Over a week after pulling forces out of the area, Galbadia had yet to make an official statement regarding Timber, but the citizens of Timber were already acting as if they had regained their independence. All around the country, Galbadian flags were being pulled down and replaced by official Timber flags. Pictures of Timber citizens dancing in the streets or burning Galbadian trucks were everywhere. Former president Gian Yasma emerged from hiding and had begun taking actions as the President of Timber. His first few moves were cautious, tentative, but since Galbadia had yet to respond to anything they did, he and his administration were already growing bolder.

Yasma quickly contacted SeeD and hired students to act as a temporary military in case Galbadia returned. Squall hadn't really liked the idea—knowing that SeeD was unlikely to do anything if Galbadia chose to attack—but Garden was so desperate for money and allies that he had to cave in to the request. Shortly thereafter, a similar request was sent from Dollet, which Squall also accepted. Together, the income from the two nations was enough to keep SeeD financially secure for the moment—so long as Galbadia didn't attack.

News from Esthar was scarce. President Laguna quickly realized that Galbadia was living in fear of an Esthar counterattack, so he made a point of avoiding any discussions about Esthar's current condition or its military capabilities, allowing the Galbadians to assume the worst. In a couple of interviews, he vaguely suggested that the thing that had caused all the Galbadian soldiers to fall asleep was a secret ray gun that Esthar had developed—and would use again if Galbadia returned. Many people were skeptical of this claim, but no one was rushing to be the first to call Laguna's bluff.

It was no secret, however, that Esthar was currently overflowing with prisoners-of-war. All the captured G-Army soldiers were stuffed into various unused buildings around the city and kept under constant guard until a proper negotiation between Galbadia and Esthar could begin. Every time Zell logged on, someone was promising that a peace talk would begin between the two nations, but at the end of the day nothing ever manifested.

In the meantime, President Laguna was more than happy to open up his doors—well, some of his doors—to the outside press, giving them tours of his facilities, allowing them to take pictures of the enormous Presidential Palace, and sharing some of Esthar's more impressive gadgets.

It was all a show, Zell knew, designed to intimidate Galbadia by showing the world Esthar's technological superiority and hide the fact that Esthar's small military had been on the verge of being totally wiped out in the last battle. But in any case, it was working. The world was enraptured by Esthar's sparkling buildings and nearly alien technology. To earn money for repairs—and as a show of good faith—Laguna had begun selling copies of Esthar tech to other nations. Not Galbadia, of course. But everyone else was welcome to sample Esthar's wonders. Timber and Dollet were especially eager to buy up any weapons Laguna was willing to sell. To avoid provoking Galbadia, Laguna insisted that he would not sell weaponry to any foreign nation, but most people suspected that such deals were happening anyway, in shady underground deals.

(I dunno about that one though.)

(Laguna doesn't seem the type to do that.)

Galbadia Garden was currently parked outside of Esthar and controlled by Esthar's military. Zell clicked a few links to see if there was any new information on that front, but found nothing but the same old news from yesterday. The G-Soldiers and the students had all been captured as prisoners-of-war, but because of their age, the students had been sequestered in separate buildings from the rest of the soldiers. The mass imprisonment of so many teenagers was a bit of an uncomfortable subject, but no one had yet come forth with a solution that both Galbadia and Esthar could agree upon. Even if they were just teenagers, they were all trained soldiers—capable of killing.

The future of G-Garden was going to be a tricky situation to navigate through. A few days after the battle, Galbadia had demanded the return of their school and promised dire consequences if they were refused, but so far Galbadia had taken no action to support this threat. Afterwards, Laguna had contacted Squall. He wanted to absorb the school and turn it into Esthar Garden, but Squall and Headmaster Cid were wary of giving Esthar too much power too quickly. At current, G-Garden was jointly held and controlled by both SeeD and Esthar, but Zell knew that situation couldn't last forever.

(And what do the students at G-Garden think?)

No one had bothered asking them, and their voices were silent. Only the opinions of the Estharian and Galbadian governments and SeeD seemed to matter.

Esthar had no plans to rebuild the broken section of its holographic wall. Last Zell had heard, the whole thing was being dismantled and repurposed. The article hadn't mentioned how, exactly, the wall was being repurposed.

The women who had been captured by the Galbadians under suspicion of being sorceresses had been escorted back to their respective homes by the Esthar navy. Those who had been captured in Galbadia often chose not to return, but instead became residents of Esthar instead. Only those with families in Galbadia opted to go back.

White SeeD—preferring to remain as anonymous as possible—had all but vanished following the battle. Zell heard a rumor that Commander Alnaj of White SeeD had been killed in the fighting, but he didn't know if that was true. Only Squall seemed to have any idea about what was happening in White SeeD, and he didn't often share information anymore.

In more personal news, Selphie and Irvine had reported in three days earlier, saying that they had arrived at Fisherman's Horizon and were helping out with the relief effort there. Trabia Garden had chosen to stay in the area rather than return to their homeland. Everyone agreed that T-Garden could do more good—both for themselves and for others—if they stayed around.

Mayor Dobe and his wife were dead, and although the city of FH grieved their passing, the citizens moved on well enough without them. Apparently, the office of mayor was more of a ceremonial role than an official leadership role, and FH was in no rush to appoint a new mayor or any kind of leader. They seemed to be content working as a disorganized commune.

Zell continued to click around, but today was the first slow news day in two weeks. Galbadia was silent, Timber was rebuilding, Esthar was busy with all its chores, and nothing much had changed since yesterday. Zell sighed, stared at the computer monitor for another few minutes. His notebook was all but empty. He didn't want to report to Squall and Quistis with so little to say; it would look like he was slacking.

(Gotta find somethin' to report.)

He was interrupted by the sound of the intercom engaging.

At first he didn't pay much attention to the announcement. In the past few days, SeeD had gone back to making a lot of dull announcements concerning classwork, cadet duties, and team assignments. Rarely was it anything that concerned Zell. But when he heard that it was Squall's voice speaking instead of Nida's, he perked up.

"Zell Dincht and Ami Hawkind, please report to the Headmaster's office," Squall said. He shut off the intercom.

(Uh oh.)

He shut off the computer and stood up. A couple other students glanced at him as he stood, making him feel even more nervous. He stepped out of the library and headed for the elevator. He saw Ami climbing the steps to the elevator and then ran to catch up to her. They both stepped inside and she pushed the button for the third floor.

"What did you do?" Ami asked, in a playful whisper once the doors closed. The elevator began to lift up.

"Me?" Zell asked. He pressed the palm of his hand to his chest. "I didn't do anything! Did you do something?"

"If you didn't do anything, then why's he only calling the two of us?" Ami asked.

Zell shrugged. He looked away from her and gulped, feeling his hands grow sweaty. He never liked being in trouble, even for minor things. And he couldn't think of any other reason for Squall to call them both up.

(Musta been somethin' I did.)

The two arrived at the third floor. The contactors had been instructed to not worry too much about the third floor yet, since it was one of the least traveled areas of the school. As such, it had only received a cursory repair job. The hole that Selphie had broken through the floor was patched over with plywood and marked with bright yellow "DANGER" tape to keep students from stepping on it.

Beyond the ornate double doors, Cid's office had been cleaned of all the glass and debris, but the chunks missing in the floor remained. The glass ceiling was gone, replaced with large sheets of transparent white plastic that rippled noisily in the breeze. The bullet holes and scorch marks in the wall were still there.

Cid and Edea stood near the same large wooden desk that Cid had used for years. Around them, in a circle, were Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, Xu, and Nida. No one seemed happy.

(Oh, boy.)

"Whatever it was," Zell said as he approached. He raised his hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Don't worry, Zell," Squall said. "You're not in trouble."

"Oh, good," Zell said. He sighed as he and Ami joined the group. "So what's up then? Why the team meeting?"

"I'm stepping down as SeeD Commander," Squall said. "Figured I'd let you guys know first."

Zell took a step back, almost literally knocked over backwards by this news.

"But… but…" Zell said. "What? No! That's… but!"

"I wanted you all to know the details before I made the official announcement," Squall said. Rinoa glanced sideways at him, and he backpedaled. "Well, actually, it was Rinoa's idea. I was just going to make the announcement without telling you, but she thought it would be better for you guys to know first."

"You should tell your friends first," Rinoa said, quietly admonishing him.

Squall waved a hand. "Seems the same either way to me."

Zell turned to Rinoa.

"Wait, so you knew?" Zell asked. She nodded sadly.

Quistis sighed. "He'd mentioned the possibility to me as well. Then he talked about it with Matron and the Headmaster. Really, the only ones who are totally in the dark are you two and Xu and Nida."

"But… but…" Zell said. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to get past that word. He glanced at Nida and Xu, who both looked as shocked and appalled as Zell felt.

"I'll still be working for SeeD," Squall said. "Or, at least, the general idea of SeeD. I'm taking over as Commander for White SeeD, after the death of Commander Alnaj."

(Oh.)

"So… he is dead then," Zell said. He face slackened. He didn't know Alnaj that well, but he seemed to be a decent guy. But then again, a lot of decent people had died in that battle.

"Killed in the battle at G-Garden," Squall said. "White SeeD didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so they didn't tell us until recently. They keep a low profile. I like that."

"But you can't leave!" Zell said. He stomped his foot and leaned forward, pressing his knuckles into Cid's desk. "What will we do without you, man?"

"You did well enough under Quistis' leadership," Squall said. "She's going to be the new Commander."

"But…" Zell said. Finally, he managed to think of a word to say after that. "But SeeD needs you."

"No, it doesn't," Squall said. "I'm not that special. And I'm kind of a terrible leader anyway."

"Tch, no you're not!" Zell said. "You just have… uh, self-confidence issues."

Then without warning or preamble, Squall blurted out, "Sis is dead."

He paused, letting those three words sink in. Whereas before, it seemed like everyone already knew that Squall was stepping down, this time everyone was shocked. Quistis, Cid, Matron—even Xu and Ami—all fell into stunned silence. Rinoa looked away. Zell guessed that she was the only other person in the room who knew.

(Sis…)

(But she…)

"She's not…" Zell said. He frowned and shook his head.

Squall met his gaze. "Ellone is dead. Killed by Ultimecia inside the Lunatic Pandora. I was there, but I couldn't do anything to stop her. I'm sorry."

"You didn't say anything?" Quistis said, turning on Squall. "Two weeks and you've said nothing?"

Squall shrugged, his eyes sad and distant. "I told you I was a terrible leader."

Quistis shook her head. "This isn't about being a leader! This is… this is just basic humanity! Squall, what is wrong with you?"

Zell looked, not at Squall, but at Rinoa. She hugged herself and looked away. When she felt Zell's pained gaze boring into her, she glanced at him.

"You knew?" Zell asked, his voice a whisper.

Rinoa looked away and shrugged with one shoulder. "He told me not to tell."

"Squall," Quistis said, her mouth hanging open. "Not only did you lie, but you made Rinoa lie about it too?"

Squall looked at the floor. "It was… too hard to say."

"Unbelievable," Quistis said. "I can't…" She turned around and put her back to the group. She crossed her arms and put one hand up to her mouth. Zell could see her shoulders trembling.

(Oh man…)

Zell felt something in his throat, a sticky, prickly lump that wouldn't go up or come down but just hung there, choking him. He tried to say something, but the lump made his throat catch. The conversation continued on without him. He felt like he was a stone in a river, standing still while everything else rushed past him. Headmaster Cid kept rubbing his hand back and forth across his mouth and adjusting his glasses, again and again. Edea clasped both of her hands together and held them at her chin, her lips quivering.

(Sis.)

Squall shook his head, then spread out his hands. "I think… I think I can bring her back."

Quistis wheeled around, her eyes red-rimmed. "Oh, stop it. Just… just stop it."

"I know she's dead…" Squall said. "Her body is dead. I don't think I can bring her body back. Esthar had a funeral for her and everything."

Quistis' eyebrows shot up. "There was… there was a funeral too?" She bit her lip and shook her head. Before she could say anything else, Squall continued.

"But her mind isn't dead," Squall said. "Or her soul. Or her life essence, or whatever it is that truly makes Ellone who she is. I talked to her after she died. She's in time compression, even now. I just have to go find her."

"So that's what this is about?" Headmaster Cid said, crossing his arms. His voice was husky. Ellone had been one of his children at the orphanage, as much a daughter to him as Ellone was a sister to all of them. "You want to step down so you can bring back Ellone?"

"That's not all," Squall said, his voice strengthening. "Something Sis told me…" he paused. "In time compression. She said that the knowledge would affect my choices. And now it has. Her words have come true."

"What? What words?" Zell asked.

"Zell," Squall said. He turned to the others. "Quistis. Headmaster. Matron. Xu. Ami. The other sorceress from time compression are coming, if they're not already here. They're going to die and pass on their powers to other people. People like Ciel. Like Selphie. Like Tomomi. And that's not counting however many sorceresses are already in the world, hiding. There may be dozens that we don't know about."

Zell shrugged.

"… So?" he asked.

"SeeD isn't equipped to deal with them," Squall said. "Not directly, at least. You've seen what a single sorceress can do to Garden. I need a small, elite, and mobile force that can handle sorceresses on an individual basis. That's where White SeeD comes in. And I'm the best person to lead them, to find these sorceresses and deal with them."

"I still don't get it, man," Zell said. He shook his head. "Why can't SeeD help you?"

"Because…" Squall said. "Even though we beat Mireya, her ideas are still floating around the school. She still has supporters, even now. Especially after everything she's done—and everything that's happened to…"

He glanced at Rinoa, at the gloves on her hands and the hair in her eyes.

"There are people who still think sorceresses are monsters," Squall said. "And no matter what we do to try to convince them otherwise, they're still gonna believe that. I can't deal with new sorceresses if half the school hates or fears them."

"So just take the half that does trust sorceresses and use them!" Zell said. "You don't have to leave!"

"There's more to it than that," Squall said. "I don't want to give SeeD the authority to hunt sorceresses. I think that will have bad consequences in the long run. But if I just use a small division, separate from the main body of SeeD, that will give me more options."

"I don't know," Zell said. He shook his head. "I don't like it, man."

"You don't have to like it," Squall said, growing stern. "I'm just letting you know how it is. You're all welcome to join me if you want. You don't have to stay in Garden. We can all join White SeeD together. We can look for sorceresses and Sis together. "

"Seems like a pipe dream," Quistis said. "Seems like you're running away from your problems."

"I am not," Squall said to her.

"I agree," Headmaster Cid said. "I don't approve of this transfer. I refuse to sign off on it."

"Headmaster!" Squall said.

Cid closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. You're SeeD's Commander, from now until I see fit to release you. You have more important things to do than to be running around chasing sorceresses and trying to talk to the dead."

"Then I'll quit SeeD," Squall said. He crossed his arms. "I don't care. White SeeD will let me enlist as an independent citizen. I don't need you to approve the transfer."

"Squall, be reasonable," Quistis said.

Before the argument could escalate any further, Rinoa stepped out into the middle of the circle, drawing all eyes to her.

"It's not Squall's fault," she said. She lowered her head. She reached up and grabbed at her necklace, an almost unconscious move. "It's mine. I'm the one who wants to leave. I don't want to be in Garden anymore. This place… they don't want me here."

Quistis softened immediately. She reached forward and put a hand on Rinoa's shoulder. "That's not true, Rinoa."

"Yes, it is," Rinoa said. "You don't notice because you're not a sorceress. There's still a lot of people here who side with Mireya. Maybe they aren't gonna fight about it—not yet anyway—but they agree with her. They post stuff on the school site. They whisper. They threaten me. They stare at me. I don't… I don't want to live like that."

Zell looked at Ami, giving her a look.

(We were just talkin' about this earlier today…)

(I knew she was havin' trouble.)

(I knew she was gettin' singled out.)

A long pause followed. Squall stepped forward and stood beside Rinoa, taking his hand in hers. Her white gloved hands interlaced with his fingers.

"There are lots of reasons why I can't stay," Squall said. "I do want to chase new sorceresses. Get to them before they become threats, and recruit them to our side if I can. And I do want to see if I can contact Sis. But more importantly, I want to protect Rinoa. From anyone. Even SeeD. If this place isn't safe for her, then I'll take her somewhere that is."

"Rinoa…" Quistis said. Then she looked at Squall. "Squall. We can't expect people to change overnight. We have to give them time."

"We are," Squall said. "Time enough for them to forget the fighting. To forget Rinoa. To forget their fears. But as long as we stay here, there will always be that friction, that divide. Mireya had a point—SeeD and sorceresses do not mix very well. I can't force SeeD to accept Rinoa, and I'm certainly not going to turn against Rinoa. This way… this way we can compromise. Rinoa and I can still be a part of the SeeD organization—along with any other sorceresses we recruit—without having to directly interact with students. If we keep a separation… I think that would be best for everyone."

"Dividing the students from the sorceresses is only going to worsen matters," Quistis said. "People need to see Rinoa, they need to see that she's not a threat. If you go away, their imaginations will take hold. They'll forget Rinoa, but not in the way you want. They'll forget how kind she was, how supportive. They'll only remember the worst parts of her."

"Quistis is right," Edea said. "Integration is key. People who personally know a sorceress are less likely to be taken in by fear-mongering and lies."

"That's what we think too," Squall said. "That's why we want to find the other sorceresses and show SeeD—show the world—that they're humans too. To bring as many sorceresses to the public's awareness as possible. Right now, we only know about Rinoa and Selphie. Two examples of good sorceresses isn't enough to change the world."

"What if these hidden sorceresses don't want to be found?" Edea asked. "Are you going to force them to join SeeD? Have their names revealed to the public? Ruin their personal lives, endanger their families?"

Squall shook his head. "No. We'll leave them as we found them. Which is why I need a small, trustworthy force. If we come across a sorceress, we can recruit her or we can help her hide without the rest of SeeD finding out. In that way, we can act as a buffer, protecting SeeD from evil sorceresses and protecting good sorceresses from SeeD and the rest of the world."

"This is a big decision," Cid said. "Give us time to consider it."

"I gave you over a week to consider it, Headmaster," Squall said. "I thought you'd already agreed to let me go."

"On the contrary, I had already made up my mind to say no," Cid said sternly. "I was hoping this last discussion would dissuade you, but it appears that the opposite has happened. I seem to be agreeing with you more and more. So now I need time to reconsider my position."

"Headmaster," Quistis said. "This is not good for SeeD. Every time we split ourselves up, tragedy occurs. We need to stay together."

"You can't stay together forever," Cid said. "The only question is whether or not this is a good time to let you go your separate ways."

Quistis opened her mouth to argue further, then closed it and nodded. She glanced at Squall and quickly looked away. No one else had anything to say. Zell could hardly believe what he was seeing. From the time he had been in the library until now, it felt like the entire world had changed.

(This is crazy.)

"I'll want to talk to you more about this," Cid said to Squall. "About your ideas for the future of SeeD and White Seed and what you plan to do about the sorceresses. Nothing in writing, of course. We don't want this information to fall into the wrong hands."

Squall nodded. "Of course."

"Go about your business," Cid said. "I'll have my final decision sometime in the future. In the meantime, you're all dismissed."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Squall said.

"Thank you, Cid," Rinoa said.

Together, hand in hand, the two walked across the office and opened the far door. They stepped through and closed the door behind them.

Zell turned to Cid.

"You're not really thinkin' of lettin' him go, are you?" Zell asked.

Cid stared into the distance. Then he sighed. "I don't know. But I am considering it."

Zell turned and looked at the closed office doors. Beyond them, he could hear the elevator chime as it arrived. At some point, his hand found Ami's and gripped it tightly.

(Everyone's leavin' again.)

(First Irvine and Selphie.)

(Now Squall and Rinoa.)

(Just like last time.)

The lump in his throat swelled.