"So," Anya started, leaning back in the seat a bit. She and Lexa were seated in their usual corner of The Bean, after school on Monday. Lexa had been planning on going to the warehouse for the last hour that Clarke would be there, but Anya had insisted, saying that she had to give her her birthday present still. "How was Saturday?"
"Wait, I thought you said you wanted to give me something? Now you just wanna talk about my date with Clarke?" Lexa asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Uh, yeah?" Anya rolled her eyes. "We'll get to the present, don't be so greedy. Come on, don't you wanna talk about it? I know you didn't talk about it to your mom yesterday. You were too busy getting money shoved at you."
Lexa crossed her arms. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." She thought back to Saturday, and couldn't fight the smile appearing on her face. "It was amazing. The dinner was great, and then she gave me the drawing that I sent you a picture of. And then... well, I'm sure you can fill in what happened afterward."
"That's all I get?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like a detailed account?" Lexa raised both of her eyebrows, smirking as Anya crinkled her nose.
"Okay, fine," she gave in, shrugging.
"Aw, you mean you don't feel like imagining me and Clarke having sex?"
Anya gagged. "You've made your point, Lex. Anyway. So you had a good date?"
"Yes," Lexa answered, smiling apologetically at her best friend.
"Has she dropped the L bomb on you yet?"
"Why do you and Luna both keep thinking that's going to happen soon?" Lexa demanded, crossing her arms. "If she loves me, she'll tell me. And if that happens soon, then cool, but it could be a while from now. I don't want to be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for it just because you and Luna think that she's going to tell me soon."
"I'm just saying," Anya defended herself quickly, "that I think she loves you. And so do her friends. A few of us were talking about it at your birthday party."
Lexa let out a groan, running her hand through her hair. "Well, I don't want to get hung up on it, okay? And neither should any of you. Frankly, details of our relationship isn't really any of your guys' business."
"Alright, fine." Anya sat up a bit straighter. "I'll cut it out. At least I've finally got used to you and her dating."
"Valid point."
"Anyway, ready to hear what your birthday present is?"
Lexa couldn't help but smile. "Sure."
"So, I talked to Echo, and I got her to sneak into the admissions office at Polis. She got our applications and put them at the top of the review list last week after we turned them in, which means that we should have our acceptance letters any day now," Anya explained, grinning widely.
Lexa's jaw dropped. "You had Echo sneak into the admissions office?"
"Hey, it's not like she really broke the rules or anything. All she did was move us to the top of the review list. You and I both know that a lot of people apply early, and rolling admissions are no fun if you still have to wait months to get an acceptance letter," Anya insisted.
"You mean a letter. You don't know that we'll get accepted."
"I'm pretty damn sure."
Lexa looked over her best friend carefully. "You know, maybe you've been hanging out too much with Luna now." The corner of her lips pulled upward, and Anya grinned.
"Maybe. Anyway, our futures shall be told by the end of the week," Anya announced proudly. "Happy birthday!"
"Thanks," Lexa returned, shaking her head despite the smile on her face. "You're crazy. We better get in, or else you just sped up our utter depressing results."
"At least then we'd have time to polish our applications to apply somewhere else. I mean, yeah I wanna go to Polis because it's cost efficient, especially considering how decent of a school it is. But I'll leave state if I have to. There are definitely better places than here."
Lexa blinked. "Yeah, well. I don't want to leave."
"It wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to you."
"Yeah well, it would still suck pretty bad," Lexa muttered. "Anyway, wanna knock some homework out of the way?"
"Not working tonight?" Bellamy called as Clarke stepped into the warehouse. Turning her head, she saw him sprawled over his couch.
"No, I worked all morning. Plus, yesterday I sold another piece on etsy, so I have to package it and send it out before eight today," Clarke answered, smiling widely and starting into his room. "I should start painting more, now that I think about it. I haven't finished anything in the past month. Aside from Lexa's present, of course, though that was different."
"Speaking of Lexa," Bellamy said, sitting up and giving Clarke room to sit down on the couch as well, "did you talk to her on Saturday?"
Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, sitting down. "Yes, obviously. What do you mean?"
"I mean, did you talk to her about being scared of her and committing and whatnot?"
"I'm not scared of her! Or committing!" Clarke squeaked, crossing her arms and visibly tensing. Bellamy gave her an incredulous look. "It's not... it's not like that, Bell. It's more like... I'm scared of the possible bad things that could happen. I don't actually think they'll happen... but if they did, like they usually do, then what?"
"I don't know, Clarke, but you should, since you were supposed to talk to her about it on Saturday."
"I'm sorry, it's not like we were busy with other things or anything like that!" Clarke exclaimed, her voice raising unintentionally.
"Look, C, I'm not trying to tell you what to do," Bellamy insisted, shaking his head and giving her a sad look. "I'm just saying that you should talk to her. I know that you care about her, and I would hate to see you two lose each other because you didn't bring up the one thing that could put a strain on your relationship."
Clarke lowered her gaze. "I know, but... what if she... ugh, never mind, she wouldn't leave me over something like this. You're right. I just need to talk to her about it."
"Exactly."
"Ugh, I already suck a this."
"You're fine, Clarke," Bellamy argued. "And you'll be fine. You don't have to just call her up and say something about it. Wait until this weekend, when you two can hang out. Or do it whenever you want, just talk to her. It's pretty weird that you're comfortable talking to me about all of this, and not your girlfriend."
"You're my best friend, Bellamy." Clarke's voice was even, steady, serious. She'd never really just openly admitted that before, but it was true. "I mean, you're right, I need to talk to Lexa about it. But that doesn't change that you're easily the right person for me to talk to when I can't talk to her."
"Aw, you really have become such a sap," Bellamy teased, grinning widely at the blonde, who immediately kicked him from her side of the couch. "Hey!"
"Doesn't give you the right to tease me," Clarke insisted, before getting up off of the couch. "I've gotta go package up that piece and bring it to the post office. Wanna help, or are you too busy laying on your couch and basking in the fact that you have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon?"
"My class got canceled," Bellamy muttered, but he followed her movements. "I'll help."
Lexa stared down at the envelope in her hands. She was seated in her living room, just having driven home from Anya's house. Her best friend had gotten her letter the night before, Friday, and her mom had opened it without Anya knowing. Anya only found out this morning that she did indeed get into Polis U, and had immediately called Lexa and invited her over to tell her. Of course, Lexa was overjoyed for her best friend, but her own letter was now glaring up at her.
It was still in the envelope, of course, because Lexa's heart was pounding and she wasn't sure if she should open it while she was alone. She could go to Clarke's, or the warehouse if that's where her girlfriend was, or she could even go back to Anya's place. If she wanted, she could get her mom to come sit by her at least. The older woman was only one room away, anyway.
But no, she had to do it alone. If she didn't get in, she didn't want anyone to see the tears that would undoubtedly begin to fall. She didn't want to see disappointment in anyone's eyes before she got a chance to process the result. Lexa had spent most of the week preparing herself for the worst, because elation was a far preferred emotion to devastation.
Taking in a deep breath, she turned the envelope over and stared at the seal. On it, it read "Polis University Admissions Office". Taking in a deep breath, she stuck her thumb into the side of the seal, forcing it to break, and she dragged it through the whole envelope until it was open. A neatly folded piece of paper was stuck inside. Lexa swallowed down her nerves as best as she could, and pulled the letter out.
She found herself in another staring contest, with the folded letter this time, for about two minutes until she finally found the courage to begin to unfold it. Her hands shook, and her heart pounded, as she finished unfolding. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she took in a deep breath. As soon as her eyes were open, she forced in on the first word following the greeting, and let out a loud breath of relief when she saw the word"Congratulations". She read the rest of the letter over briefly with blurred vision, and barely registered a door closing and her mother walking into the living room.
"Lexa? Is everything okay?"
Lexa looked up, blinking away tears and feeling them fall from her eyes. "I got in."
"To Polis?"
"Yes!" Lexa exclaimed, jumping up excitedly as her mom hurried over to her. "Oh my god."
"Are you really surprised? You deserve this, Lexa, you work so hard," her mother insisted, grinning and wrapping her arms around her tightly. "Congratulations."
"Thank you," Lexa whispered, burying her face into her mom's shoulder. She wasn't sure why she was crying, but she couldn't help but feel utterly relieved. The next four years of her future were set, everything was going perfectly.
"I'm so proud of you." Her mom pulled out of the hug, smiling widely. "Oh my god, we're going to see each other all the time on campus."
Lexa laughed, rolling her eyes and wiping her face. "Oh yeah, what every teenage girl wants to hear about college."
"I won't bother you," her mom promised, laughing as well. "I'm just so happy for you. I know you want to go to Polis so badly. Is Anya going there? Your boyfriend?"
The question caught Lexa entirely off guard, and she opened her mouth to answer, only to shut it again. "Um. Anya is."
"Your boyfriend isn't?"
Lexa scanned her mom's face thoughtfully. Aside from the confused expression she was wearing on her face, her green eyes were full of joy and excitement, and for the first time, Lexa felt like her mom was truly excited for her, truly proud and happy. And before Lexa could stop herself, she heard herself blurt, "I don't have a boyfriend."
"What? I thought you were dating someone?"
"I am, but... it's not a boy. I mean, she's not a boy," Lexa continued, unable to stop herself now. She wouldn't chicken out.
Her mom blinked. "Oh, you're... dating a girl?"
"Yes."
"Okay... that's, um, slightly unexpected. Are you...?"
"I'm a lesbian," Lexa answered quietly, nodding. "But I'm... I'm still the same person you've raised, you know? I just love girls."
"I know, Lexa," her mom tutted as she shook her head incredulously, "did you think that I would think of you differently?"
"I... don't know what I thought," Lexa admitted. "I was just unsure, I guess. You've always wanted me to get perfect grades, have perfect friends, and be perfect all the time. But this makes me less perfect."
"Sure, it's not ideal. I mean, there are certain things that will possibly play out differently in your life now, but I'm not ridiculous, Lexa. You are just as amazing as you've always been. The only difference now is really the way that I might get grandchildren one day," her mom said, smiling softly and putting her hands on Lexa's shoulders, squeezing. "I'm still so proud of you, Lexa. Who's the girl?"
Now for part two, Lexa thought, inhaling deeply. "She goes to Polis."
Her mom's neatly formed eyebrows lifted. "Oh? She's in college?"
"Yes, she's... graduating with her associate's degree in November," Lexa answered quietly, biting down on her lower lip. "Her name is Clarke."
"I've never heard of her." Lexa tried not to sigh in relief, but she'd been slightly worried that her mom would recognize Clarke's name from campus and end up having predetermined opinions on her. "How old is she? She's getting her associate's degree... so twenty?" Her mom's voice was devoid of any dead giveaway about how she felt with the situation.
"Twenty-one."
"And you've been dating her how long?"
"A little while," Lexa answered slowly, swallowing thickly. "But we didn't... you know, when I was under eighteen."
Her mom raised an eyebrow, and Lexa bit down on the inside of her lip. "Are you mad?"
"Concerned. She didn't... manipulate you at all?"
"No! No, not at all. Definitely not."
"So on your birthday last weekend... you were at her place all night?" Lexa nodded. "You've been seeing this girl for a while? Since summer? Have you been drinking too?"
"No," Lexa lied, frowning. "I mean, yes to the since summer. But we weren't dating at first. I met her at the end of summer."
"How'd you meet her?"
"She works at The Bean." True, but not really the answer.
"What's she in school for?"
Lexa crossed her arms over her chest. "Art."
"You're dating someone who works at a coffee shop and is getting a college associate's degree in art? Seriously? And she's over three years older than you," her mom chided, shaking her head. "Really?"
"Are you really mad about this?" Lexa demanded. "I'm happy, mom. And you and I both know that I'm going to be able to support myself through and after college, so does it really matter what who I date does as a job? It's not like she's a criminal or something."
Her mom pursed her lips. "Well, I won't stop you. You're an adult now. Just, for the record, I'm not... entirely on board with this."
"You haven't even met her yet, mom," Lexa said weakly, letting out a sigh.
"So how about I meet her?"
Lexa blinked. "I'll... ask her. I mean, I'll ask her when she's available. Of course you can meet her."
Nodding, her mom looked her up and down. "Alright, thank you. Anyway, I have to go to lunch with some coworkers of mine. Congratulations on Polis, and I love you, even though your choice of girlfriend might be somewhat worrying."
"Mom."
"Fine, okay, I'll shut up until I at least meet her. I'll see you later. Let me know when she'll be coming over."
Lexa nodded, and her mom turned around and started out of the house, grabbing her keys off of the table by the entrance. Once she was gone, Lexa let out a relieved sigh. Despite the fact that her mom was iffy about Clarke, there was so much to be happy about. She was going to go to Polis U, and her mom didn't hate her for being gay.
Grinning, she refolded her letter, folding it two more times in order to slide it into her pocket, and grabbed her phone. Time to go tell her girlfriend the good news.