AUTHOR'S NOTES: So this was actually finished (except for ONE line) this Wednesday. I wrote it while the cable guy was trying to fix our internet that he broke trying to fix our TV. I had no TV or internet for...six hours. It was maddening. XD It's kind of short chapter. But most of them seem to be anyway. I need to work on lengthening my chapters. But I really like this chapter. Uhm, not much else to say. Except I don't know shit about sedation, so if it's off, that's why. :D EITHER WAY, enjoy~
...I want...a popsicle...[/wanders off]
The worst thing about the hospital when you're not a patient is the waiting. I sat outside in the smokers' area and texted my second-best friend, Allen, continually. Kanda didn't like Allen much, or at all for that matter, but I needed somebody to talk at that moment. There wasn't anybody else I could talk to at the moment. I kept the details vague, not mentioning the way Yuu's hands had been bound or the strange stare he had given me in the waiting room. I couldn't, physically or emotionally. My hands were shaking too much to text it. At that moment, I had wished I was a smoker because I needed something, anything, to calm me down. I wanted to be sedated.
I guess my texts had worried Allen because I felt a comforting hand placed soundly on my shoulder. I glanced up, realizing it was his familiar face smiling sadly down at me. I grabbed the arm on my shoulder and pulled its owner into a sitting position next to me. My arms were around his torso in a clinging manner, and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. It didn't take long for me to finally break. When I was with Kanda, I couldn't cry. I had to fight off all urge to cry because he needed me. He hadn't flat out said it (or anything else), but I could tell by that look he gave me. So I had to stay strong for both us when I was around him. However, I wasn't with Kanda, and I needed to get everything out before I had to go back into the room and back to my best friend's side.
And so I broke, crying almost silently against Allen's lithe form.
LKLK
Going back wasn't easy. Allen had left again. He didn't think that Kanda would want him there when we actually got to visit. He was probably right. I don't think Kanda really wanted anybody there, certainly not Allen. Allen leaving didn't bother me, but the sudden rush of loneliness that followed almost knocked me off my feet. With him there, I had felt like it was okay to be worried about all of this. It was okay to break down just for a moment. But now I was alone again, which meant I had to put back up the strong front, and I wasn't sure just how long I could manage it.
I stood there silently, too unsure of anything to speak. Tiedoll and a doctor were talking, but I don't think I was listening. Tiedoll's face said more than what I wanted to hear. So I just stood there like a statue and waited until I heard those words that gave me the permission I had so needed to hear. Permission to go to his room.
Except I was about two minutes too early.
I rushed in just in time to see Kanda and two doctors. There was a short lived struggle, Kanda writhing beneath their arms before a needle when into the bend of his arm and left him completely still. My eye widened, mouth hanging open slightly.
"What'd you do?!" my voice came out in a desperate yelp as I watched him fall motionless and backwards onto the bed. One of the doctors looked to me. His face was twisted in mock sympathy, but the look never reached his eyes.
"A mild sedative. It just calmed him down. He'll be fine," he replied, scribbling on a clipboard and leaving the room. The other doctor said something to me, but I don't think I was listening. She walked out of the room shortly after, black heels clacking against the floor, leaving me and Kanda alone.
Swallowing the lump that had managed to grow in my throat once more, I made my way to the bed and looked down to my best friend. His sapphire eyes were hollow looking, but he didn't seem to be looking at anything. He seemed like a doll, not noticing anything around him. He hadn't even noticed that I was there. Yet, somehow under the sedative, he seemed almost peaceful. His face showed no real emotion, but it didn't show the pain or the fear that I had seen hours---had it really been that long?---before. His eyes seemed so impossibly empty.
I reached up and brushed my fingers through his hair, flattening the bits that splayed around the pillow. It seemed shorter now than it had been earlier, only going a few inches past his shoulders now. My other hand had managed to find Kanda's. I laid it on top of his, barely aware of the heart monitor clipped to his index finger. I traced circles on top of his hand with my thumb and leaned forward to place a small kiss on his cheek.
"It's gonna be okay, " I whispered into his ear, "I…I love ya, Yuu."
It felt nice to say it, after not knowing if I'd ever get to. But it was depressing to think that he probably hadn't heard me say it all.
LKLK
The second worst thing about being in a hospital without being a patient is trying to sleep. The plush mock-leather chair pulled out into a bed. I managed to curl my body slightly, enough to lay in the chair without my feet hanging off the edge. But I couldn't sleep. Tiedoll and Daisya were in one of the patient waiting rooms. It had couches and things for people to sleep in when only one visitor could sleep in the room. I don't know how I ended up being the one who got to stay in the room, but it wasn't as comfortable as I had hoped it would be.
Kanda was asleep, or knocked-out one. From what I had gathered, the IV hooked into his arm was pumping some pretty strong pain killers into his body. His face twitched every now and then, but for the most part, he remained perfectly still. It gave me a chance to look, actually look, at him for the first time since I had found him.
He had gotten skinnier, but that much was a given. It was to the point of malnourished, which that alone worried me. Yuu hadn't eaten healthy in the first place, Soba being a corner-stone meal in his diet. But somehow he had managed to stay healthy, rarely getting sick or injured. But now healthy was the last thing he looked. There were bandages on his collarbone that seemed to cover a scratch, maybe scar, that I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before now. There were a few small nicks on parts of his arms, already scarred over. Anything on his torso that I hadn't noticed was out of sight, hidden beneath hospital gown and blanket. His wrists still had marks, maybe from rope or something else. I couldn't tell which. There were bruises, marring his formerly flawless skin. He was broken.
It made me sick.
ENDING NOTES: Hey, look, THERE WAS AN ALLEN! o 3o;; There's gonna be some other characters tossed in, obviously. o 3o Must say I hate hospitals myself. So these hospitaly chapters...meh... ;n;
I need a hug. And reviews? o u o