AUTHOR'S NOTES: GUESS WHO'S BACK? BACK AGAIN? RAINBOW'S BACK! TELL A FRIEND! Okay, yeah...so I feel the urge to apologize profusely for being gone for a year...and four months. Life has gotten the better of me I suppose. That and other fandoms. But it surprised that no matter how much this story didn't update, there were still emails in my inbox of reviews and faves for it. And that made me realize that you guys were enjoying this story, and that it wasn't fair of me to just ditch it without an explanation.

And I really missed writing for these two. Writing in first person is really hard I must admit, and part of me wishes I hadn't started this in first person. Nonetheless, I shall prevail! I hope to get into some kind of more predictable schedule for updates on this! But however it goes, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for all the love this story has gotten. You will never grasp how much it means to me. I hope this new installment does not disappoint.

DISCLAIMER: ... Despite taking a hiatus that was as long as one of Hoshino's, I do not now nor will I probably ever own D. Gray Man.

Three in the morning came quicker than I had expected, though I don't think I was paying much attention to the clock in the first place. I spent most of the night just staring. Staring at Yuu, staring at the walls, my mind trying to grasp onto any bit of logic, to any reason why. Why had this happened to Kanda of all people? Who had done it? Why had they done it? I couldn't make heads or tails of anything except for how grateful I was just to have him back.

He wasn't really back though. Physically, he was. But the hollow shell of Kanda which laid in the hospital bed, hooked to machines and pumped full of medication wasn't my Yuu. He looked every bit the part, but inside he was shattered, a mess of what he once was. And though I had always been one for puzzles, this was one puzzle I never wanted to put together.

My gaze was fixed out the lone window, looking out towards the night sky. I rested my head against the glass, letting the cold pressing against my forehead try to make some sense out of my incoherent thoughts. It didn't do much good, and I found myself simply staring and my mind a complete blank.

"L-Lavi…" The voice was faint and rasped, but it was undeniably Yuu. I nearly fell off the tiny couch-bed I had perched myself on the second I heard him. Body twisting, and neck jerking fast enough to almost break, I shuffled over to the other bed.

Bleary blue eyes were half-way focused on me. I pulled the small plastic chair next to the bed and sat as close to him as I could manage. "Yeah, Yuu…it's me," I whispered pathetically, surprised at how weak my own voice sounded.

He didn't reply. He just stared, and for a moment, I didn't know what to do. I stared back at him, my eye taking in each contour of his face. His cheeks seemed sunken in, and his eyes were impossibly dark. His already pale skin seemed almost translucent, cheeks dusted pink in fever. But it was still Kanda, and he was at least awake. And that was the most I could hope for given the situation.

I blindly groped the blankets, fingertips brushing over cold skin. He showed no signs of resistance when my hand grasped for his immediately afterward. I traced circles on the back of his hand with my thumb and felt my heart break further when his fingers weakly clinched around mine. I allowed my other hand to reach up and run through his hair, fingers barely making it half-way through before becoming lost in masses of tangles. So I dropped my other hand, letting it sit idly on the edge of the his bed.

The logical side of my mind knew that I needed to call a nurse. Surely, Kanda needed more medical attention now that he awake. I knew that I was supposed to alert everybody when his condition changed. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried though, moving to stand before I felt the grip around my fingers tighten just barely. Kanda didn't have to tug or say anything for me to know what he wanted. So I sat back down. My fingers went back to the same circling pattern, and the room went back to its previous still.

I glanced up at Kanda once more. His eyes had closed, though I could tell he wasn't asleep. Even still, I let my own head rest on my free arm, eye closing. Eventually, I stopped tracing over his skin, lacing my fingers with his. It wasn't long afterwards that sleep overtook us.

Despite being in a hard plastic chair and the smell of antiseptics filling my senses, with his hand held safely in mine, it was the best I had slept in months.

LKLK

The blissful sleep I had finally fallen into was short lived. There was a tap on my shoulder, a nurse smiling down at me. Her hair was pulled back into a curly ponytail, and there was a strangely nervous smile on her face. "I-I'm sorry, but the doctor needs to see him alone for just a second," she stated, her voice shaky, "B-but you can come back when he's done."

With a small yawn, I nodded and moved to sit up. I was surprised that my fingers were still intertwined with his. Any other time, Kanda would have noticed something like this and pulled away almost immediately. He'd blush a bit, but he'd deny that. He was "a fucking guy" after all. I'd smirk and poke at his cheek before getting a light punch to the shoulder, and life would go on like it always did.

The memory left a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.

I slipped my fingers out of his grasp and leaned down to place a small kiss to his cheek. The nurse said nothing as I made my way towards the door. I peeked over my shoulder. She checked his vital signs and scribbled on a clip board, and he laid there still in whatever medicated sleep he had fallen into.

As the door closed behind me and I made my way through the hospital halls, I realized just how long the road to normal was going to be. And I hoped beyond all hoping that it would be a fast one, even though we seemed to be at a stand-still.

Hoping was all I had left.


ENDING NOTES: I'm hoping to extend the upcoming chapters! Longer updates would probably be nice, huh? I just felt the need to get this one up to show that I wasn't dead. c: ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH!