This one's a little doozy, considering Fera's not in a good state at the moment.

Things are going to jump around, so I hope you guys don't get too lost!

Anyhow-

We're so close to the end...

Only 1 more chapter...

I can barely believe it.

Six months went by so fast? How?

I suppose it's the joy of being an author, moving on from once piece to the next.

But you guys have all made me want to cry with all the love and support you've given for OTSH Part 1.

The polls should be up soon for the Fanart contest, so please hop over there for a moment to see the beautiful works some of you have created to vote for the winner :D

I couldn't have done this without you all pushing me on and coming back week to week :)

Thank you all so very, very much.

Enjoy!

Of The Spark And Heart

Part 1

Chapter 49

So much darkness. And pain.

All of it, merely a mass of churning, building, cortex of black fire that was slowly dismantling her from the inside out. Massive, uncontrollable knots in random spots clenched her body and caused intense pain to surface. An outside force was pushing down on her chest, constricting her breathing, and thus causing her anxiety to pick up. If she could not see, move, or feel, then...was she dead? Was this how it felt to die? Utter, infinite night?

Memories... most of them scattered and lost to the vastness of the personal universe of the mind. The heart beat as only a cold sputtering against the rampaging death stalking the curtain of shadows. Waiting. Watching. It gouged its time to strike and take its next victim. For days now? Weeks? Years even? There was no telling in a place such as this.

Neither able to move nor speak, there currently was nothing stopping the path of insanity. The quiet was too much- the weight too crushing. Time was only told by the pounding of the core. A broken core. One that bled and wept as it splintered. Over and over again, piece by piece by piece, all taken and drained from the system. Such a beautiful light it held...so warm and comforting...and familiar as well. But why was it weeping? Why was it breaking and screaming and clutching onto her flailing heart when all it wanted to do was rest? Maybe it didn't want her to rest. But that wasn't fair. She could tell that she'd wanted to rest for a long time now. She was meant to. Tendrils of the desperate entity wrapped around her, willing her on past rest and shocking her back to the blind and deaf black.

Some part of her breaking core wanted to continue on as well. It was difficult to do this however, for there was nothing to hold on to. Nothing and more nothing. All in a simple, yet so complex universe. Who was in this universe, egging her on? A blissful numbness blanketed the entirety of herself and all that was her pitiful core. It kept her from feeling. It kept her from knowing. Perhaps she didn't want to know. It was sad to not feel, but all the same, it terrified her to imagine feeling again. Some place, for some reason beyond her, had caused this. All of it. And she wasn't willing to remember.

Flashes of her past self blurred by at incomprehensible speeds, displaying names, faces, and events she truly could not completely collect. Every so often, she caught her consciousness on one, and she would be forced to go along with it as it played out, no matter the positive or negative tone. One by one, they passed, some she could recall, others she couldn't. More recent ones were crisp and incredibly clear while the others appeared muffled and dull, as if they were bathed in fuzzy moonlight.

A few of a newer time, held images that were so breathtakingly beautiful and crystal that they almost hurt to watch. One figure in particular stood out from each- never becoming obscured or distorted as some of the others. This one, she seemed to want to take especially close. It was impossible to forget.

An eighteen year-old stands on a crumbling, loose curb beside the abandoned road, her arms outstretched beside her as she balanced precariously on the strip of concrete. Her long hair was left to the mercy of the elements as it bubbled over her back, shining a striking gold in the dying sun. A field of amber-colored wild grass flowed on her other side, gently tickling her ankles when she got close. Fresh, natural air that was kissed with a chill wound around her, causing her thin jacket to ruffled against the autumn breeze.

An onyx-black Mustang vehicle crept along beside her, its tires crunching on the gravel as it made sure to stay close behind the girl. Crimson details scored down its sides before fading off toward the aft. A red spoiler and rims completed the look for one ferocious automobile. The engine trembled the hood as it rumbled lowly with unbridled power. A purring noise arose from the machine as it stayed only a few feet after the balancing teen. Tinted windows hid who, or whatever, was inside. A collector would be drooling at the chance to get their hands on such a beauty.

"I do not believe this is an intelligent idea Fera." a smooth, deep voice piped up from the cabin when one of the windows rolled down. The Mustang stopped when the teen did, the sunlight bouncing off blindingly from the hood. Her head tipped back, a groan splitting her lips as she dropped her arms. Incredibly blue eyes flicked to the side, watching the vehicle with an amused expression. A ray of light caught within their irises, causing an almost iridescent glow to shine in their depths.

"You worry too much." she chided lightly.

"And you do not worry enough."

Instead of retorting, as Fera wished to do, she instead pranced off the curb and started off across the field, her hands locked behind her back. The Mustang paused where she had left, idling for about a minute as it observed after her. It then gave a hiss of smoke, its hood splitting in half. The Fera then turned on her heels, watching with a gentle grin as her Guardian appeared where a car had once been, his fist on the ground before he rose to his full height. He then cocked his arms back, finalizing the pieces on his wrists. A short chuckle slipped from her lips and she switched back around.

Dull thudding followed the confusing, third-person view of the figures as they suddenly became indistinct and stretched, as if their speed was melting their bodies behind them. Streaks of color blended and warped, becoming a strange sea of sensations and bending arcs of hues under the assault of the sun. When things ceased swimming and they were normal once again, Fera could be seen sitting beside her mech, her knees drawn up and her face directed to the sunset. Sol had his legs out, his upper half leaning on his elbows as they rested on his knees. They both remained in a content atmosphere, their stress gone in a rare moment of tranquility. A mutual comfort was shared in the aura surrounding them, their bond now fully set on a steady course.

Fera closed her eyes and drank in the lasting day, her lips turning when she relaxed into the gentle waves of heat on her pale skin. "I know we're primitive to you guys, and I understand that Cybertron was always so much more advanced than Earth," Fera spoke up, catching Sol's attention, "but these are the times that I truly don't care that we're seen as inferior. I appreciate what we have, and I think it's a beautiful thing."

Her eyes opened and Solas peered away to stare back at the setting star, his eyes catching slivers of blue as he became entrapped in his own thoughts. Fera noted the silence and she glanced at him, her expression suddenly guilty.

"I'm sorry, I never meant-"

"No, do not apologize." he interrupted, "It is good you love what you have been granted. You are never to know when it may be taken from you." he wasn't looking at her, but Fera knew he was talking about more than his planet. He was orphaned- left alone. And when he'd tried to right his wrongs, he'd been discriminated against among the ranks of those he sought help from. This mech had been given a hard life to live, and it was amazing that he'd stayed this long through it all.

Fera scooted closer and experimentally pressed her side to Sol's, making his face snap down to look at her in confusion. She wasn't returning his gaze however, her own eyes focused ahead in the distance, their aqua tremor full of so many untold emotions and thoughts.

"Sometimes, when I think about my dad, and it makes me upset, I think of you." she raised her eyes, "And how much you've lost compared to me. And the struggles you've had to face. And the unfairness of all this." she lifted a hand and swiped it around her in gesture of the whole of the war. Solas frowned and clasped his hands in between his legs. "War is not fair."

The fluid rumble of his words spoke wonders of his tortured past, and Fera caught her heart beating faster at the sound of it. "Neither is life." she murmured, hoping to maybe set a common ground for them both. Solas only smirked, a huff blowing warm air from his vents. "Indeed. Your race is one of the wiser spoken that we have come across. Superiority is nothing without the knowing of true values in life and universe."

"Says the mech who could give a rat's ass about trying to win an argument with a woman." Fera felt the shaking waves of Solas' laughter and she smiled wider, her chest fluttering with ease in the brief friction between them. His laugh had become one of her more recent challenge she wished to overcome. The more times it occurred, the closer she felt she was growing to the tortured being.

"I was uninformed of the more stubborn of your kind upon my arrival." he admitted. His hand abruptly raised and came around, cupping Fera closer to his body to offer warmth, "You have made me fearful of the rest of the females among the Earth." Fera let herself go lax in his metal grasp and she tucked herself into a ball, fitting perfectly beside him.

"Yeah, well they're not all as bad as me. I've always wondered what if-"

"-you had gotten killed, you stupid, idiotic, insane, jerk?!"

"Calm yourself, before you become overwhelmed. It was an ambush on a simple patrol Fera, there is nothing we could have done to prevent it."

Fera scowled, her burning flesh flushed pink. Fists shook by her sides as she stood on a scaffold, staring down her Guardian as if he were her enemy. He on the other hand had his eyes hard, his expression unreadable. He was not one to like being fussed over, especially by his charge. But Fera wasn't a fan of worrying about her comrade either, so she would ignore his opinions so long as he was throwing himself in deadly situations. Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, and Hound stood in the same room, having driven in moments before into the waiting, and not so happy, welcome of the human female. They awaited for Ratchet's arrival, and held out for the one possible mech to match Fera's wrath.

Her next move was to stalk forward, her hands flying to grab the rails hard enough to cause her veins to pop from beneath her ivory skin. Solas stood his ground against her, already used to her ferocious nature. However, Optimus and the other shifted nervously, unsure of how to handle such an unpredictable human. She was far from nerved around them any longer. Their size was the last thing on her mind nowadays.

"You ran into them Solas! Meaning you literally turned yourself around and went at the 'Cons. What do you call that? Being cautious? Wise maybe?" Fera challenged, already fully aware of the results of the battle. There weren't military drones following the Autobots everywhere for nothing. She'd stood there, sitting next to Epps and her mother, as Solas left Optimus and the others behind and leapt into the fray of battle. Her heart had dropped then, and it only got worse when he refused to hail her furious calls.

The warrior snorted, rolling his eyes before doubling over the scaffold lower, forcing Fera back if she didn't want to hit his him. "I am a soldier Fera, it is my duty to intercept the enemy." his own hand raised to grab the rails, "There is no time to plan in an ambush. You react on impulse."

"Such a good role model for me then." she mocked bitterly, "Where do you think I get it from when I go running at a 'Con?" her arms crossed and both the human and Cybertronian's eyes narrowed. Their standoff was building, their walls unwilling to break. Optimus stepped forward, carefully approaching them both with his hands raised as in surrender. The smallest thing could set them both off...

"Perhaps we may settle this matter at a later tim-"

"Prime, stay out of this!" Fera snapped. Optimus jerked and backed off, smart enough to understand a warning when he heard one.

Solas held himself higher, rising above Fera as he grew to his full height, "I do not need you to act as my fembot creator Fera, I am fully capable of taking care of myself." his features became guarded, as if she'd hit a subject that she wasn't supposed to breach. Fera's anger lessened for a moment and her nails dug into her arms. They weren't supposed to be making more barriers between them. They were supposed to be destroying them. She wanted bridges, not moats. But Solas' stubborn nature was making that process take so much longer.

Sighing, Fera dropped her arms and tried to gain a softer tone of voice. "You don't know what I go through or what I have when I see you do things like that Sol." she put both hands to the rail, leaning against them heavily, her head bowed, "Sometimes, it really pisses me off when you do what you do and I don't know what's happening. And that's only because every time you leave my sight, you get hurt." he only averted his gaze, his thoughts undetectable.

"You must not fully comprehend what a bond is Fera. You would know if I ever was to be hurt because you can feel it through our connection."

"No, I can't. I can 'sense' it. How many times do I have to tell you this? I don't know how, but I can only know when you get hurt- like a sixth sense thing. But I can't talk to you and I don't know what's going on when you put up walls like that." her throat became tight, her eyes burning. He didn't realize how much it actually frightened her to feel so helpless watching him battle like she was often forced to do, unable to act against a single moment of it all. She knew he worried about her getting hurt. That came with being human. However, it was different in her eyes when things came to her Guardian.

"But I understand your emotions, and at some points we can send each other bursts of our thoughts."

"I know that! But it's not the point..."

"Then what is it?"

"You don't understand what you truly are in my eyes Solas. You're someone I consider a friend, so when you get hurt, I hurt. Not physically of course, but emotionally. And it's because I know you're getting hurt for me and the Autobot cause that sucks the most." a tear ran over her cheek and she hissed a curse under her breath before hurriedly wiping it away. Her body whipped around to hide her face as she used her wrists to battle away the drops. Sol watched her with a fading ire, his face contorting to concern and curiosity rather than irritation. Before he could speak, she went on, "But the worst thing is that I...I cry at night sometimes...I cry for my dad, wh-who I lost from the same thing you do now. So since I lost him, I assume that I'm going to lose you too."

"You cry...?"

"Yeah, I do. But not in front of the others. I wouldn't allow myself to do that in front of my mom." Fera sniffed and used the length of her arms to get rid of the stray wet streaks down her face, her cheeks decorated with trails of rosy-red, "She deserves better than a blubbering teenager when she needs support."

A slow vent came from Sol and he took mercy on the teen, gently taking her up in one hand and bringing her close to his chest. His spark beat strongly against her body, and she found the presence extremely soothing. "Your concern for me is unnecessary."

"Don't tell me that..."

"Stop crying Fera, it's alright. I'm here, are I not?"

"I-I can't! Once I st-start, I can-can't stop-"

"-it Sol, I'm trying to concentrate."

Another poke to the ribs.

"Solas Kaon."

A jab to her other side, making her jerk and hover her fingertips from the keys.

"Solas Alpheus Kaon, if you do that again, I swear I'll-"

A quick slide of her arms had her pinned to the wall, her hands above her as the mech pushed the female away from the desk. Her laptop skidded dangerously close to the edge of the table, the website she'd been looking at displayed brightly on the white screen. The cheeky mech had her easily in one grip, his face coming close as he wore a mocking grin.

"That, my Fera, is for using my full designation."

Fera struggled and squirmed her fingers under Solas' fingers, using her smaller hand to pinch one of the more sensitive wires. A short cry came from the Autobot as he snatched his hand away, cupping it in his other. His expression became both surprised and hurt, his eyes disbelieving. "How in Pit did you-?"

"And that, my dear Solas, is for pinning me against the wall." her winning smile widened as she strode across the floor and sat back in her seat, her legs crossing and her hands sitting in her lap. Solas looked offended at her abuse of his hand, and he burrowed his eyebrows in a way that only made her laugh."Don't pout at me! Maybe you shouldn't underestimate me. If you're bored, maybe we should play a game."

Waving the hand Fera had pinched, Solas' one eyebrow came up and he watched her in quiet questioning. Fera's devilish mischief arose in her spirits, and she felt her childish energy returning. "How about..." she paused to look around, her fingers coming up to pinch her chin in thought, "we play something called hide and go-"

"-frag yourself."

Fera blinked, her eyes widening. She stood with her arms crossed and her stance wide, her current position right before the face of her sleeping Guardian. A sole brow rose in her shock and her lips parted. He didn't, she mentally commented. He did not just...

"Get up, you lazy toaster, we're supposed to go for a drive today remember."

"Oh, I remember."

"Then come on, up ya get." she came toward him and patted his cheek, trying to wake him up. Sol merely opened a single eye, the innards of the parts momentarily stunning Fera. She found herself staring at it as it shifted and adjusted itself, darting from side to side like a human eye. From further away it appeared as a single glowing part, but up close, it was an intricate series of almost human-like mechanisms creating an iris, pupil, and sclera. Incidentally, this was his left one, so Fera was able to see the faded cracks along the edges of his eye colored a dim reddish color. A permanent reminder of his past decisions and heritage.

But then Solas closed it again, purposefully blowing out of his lips so to topple Fera over. She jumped up from a squat, windmilling her arms so not to fall. Gaining her balance only took a moment before Fera huffed in annoyance. His sleepy laughing struck her ears and Fera shot him an irritated glare. This mech was pushing her buttons. Big time.

After stomping a single foot, the girl's hands went to her hips and she scowled at her snoozing Guardian. "Sol, I will do it." she suddenly threatened.

It was then that both Sol's eyes popped open again, staring up at her with solid awareness. Well that woke him up.

Fera smirked and came closer, her hand raising. She was not afraid to act upon her blackmail, and Sol knew this. His mouth turned to a frown, his eyebrows coming down heavily. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Whether she had to feign calling Ratchet to their room or not, she was getting this mech up. She was tired of being locked up in base, and she felt it was about time they got their exercise. It wouldn't take much to call the medic either, and Fera was hell-bent on using her abilities well against her mech. Ratchet was currently resting himself, and she knew he wouldn't take too kindly to being interrupted from his recharge.

Solas studied her for a moment as Fera held a hand over the communicator on her wrist, her expression a mix between serious and humorous. Before she could however, a blur of shadow shot out and caught her off guard. Her body was taken from under her and flipped onto her back. Unseen support skillfully caught her head and back, giving her a sturdy plank as she was enveloped by stifling dark. A smell that was between metallic and earth tickled her noise, and she stopped for a second or two to try to place it. It was when she was moved that she struggled to get herself free of whatever was holding her down.

Moments of her straining passed before Fera calmed enough to look around her. Pieces came into place and objects familiarized with her. It all came flowing back, and she groaned loudly.

Solas had her against his chest, and he was now on his back, pinning her to him and preventing her from escaping. He chuckled when she banged a fist against his plates, demanding he release her. Of course, he wouldn't, but Fera would still try nonetheless.

"Solas, let me go, I want to get out of base for awhile."

"I know Fera, I know. It is only that...perhaps we may rest for a bit. It would do you good." he suggested, already falling back under. Fera felt his hand on her back becoming heavier as he fell into sleep, and she moaned loudly. Her chin fell into her pillow of arms as she folded them under her, resting her head for a moment before she forced her eyes to close.

There was no getting out of this trap. But would that be such a bad thing? She could feel their bond becoming languid and slow, causing her mind to lag and her body to go slack. She didn't notice how tired she was, nor the lovely feel of sleeping on a warm surface like Solas. Everything seemed so cold-

-blasts of winter air assaulted Fera as she tossed the snowball, hitting Sol square in the face. She proceeded to then fall on her rear, her laughing so hard that she felt her lungs begin to cramp. Clouds of white fog jumped from her throat with every chortle, and she felt tears streaming down her face in a matter of seconds. Arms, seizing up, wrapped around her waist. The coat she wore did nothing but warm up her body from her excitement. Snow around her dented beneath her body and crinkled when she moved.

Solas shook his head sharply, attempting to get rid of most the snow before he wiped the rest off. The other Autobots outside at the moment were laughing as well, not a single being straight-faced. Arcee doubled over, leaning on a giggling Bumblebee by the treeline. Sideswipe was incapacitated, on his back, making craters in the fluffy white as he bellowed. Sunstreaker was chuckling softly as well, a large snowball ready in his hand. Even Optimus and Rethalia, only there in curiosity of all the noise outside, were standing by the base entrance, smiling in amusement.

The mech who had been hit growled goodnaturedly, his face dripping with melting bits of leftover snow. Fera was still on the ground, using a finger to dab away the tears in her eyes and straining to catch her breath. It must have been then that he saw his chance, for the mech then produced a grin of total evil. He bent over and swiped his hands beside him, using them to scoop up two handfuls of the substance. Interested eyes watched him as he worked, including Fera, who was only now regaining her breathing as she lay heaving oxygen on the ground.

Solas jerked back to a stand, holding before him a lump of snow large enough to be carried in both hands. And with a single throw, he cocked his arm back, and launched the lob of frozen water droplets at his charge. Everyone froze as they watched the sailing mass fly across the meadow at the human. Not one moved, and Fera was unable to get herself up and moving before it came crashing down on her.

The weight immediately hit her, the force of the giant snowball knocking her back against the ground. It was here that the vision began to blur again, movements melting through the air and time fading into a series of flashing light and occasional sound. What could come from it was the digging of the snow, and a burning set of limbs. Heat built quickly in this hurried moment, and before comprehension could settle in, Fera was poking her head out from the top of her prison of winter frost.

Solas was there, along with the other Autobots, and some humans who had decided to join the game as well. They bowed over her, staring concernedly at her once she had emerged. Gulps of air passed through her lips before she flopped over the top, looking to each being in turn. The sides of her lips then rose and she began to laugh, her hat falling from her rumpled hair. The others must have found her amusement mutual, for they fell again into another fit of laughing. Solas was joining in as well, the sound filling her heart with a sense of-

-awkwardness as the girl slowly passed across the floor, her hands behind her. For quite some time now, for she knew by the way her lids felt heavier that the day's hours were waning, she'd been compelled to attempt communicating with her newly established Guardian. Already she knew there was no convincing her Uncle Epps or Bee to sway Optimus Prime's decision, for the two dared not speak up against their leader. It was frustrating to her to know that she was stuck with a creature as blatantly stubborn and seclusive as this one, and she found herself mentally cringing anytime his name came up.

He sat with his back to her, his arm raised as he fiddled with some form of weapon on his wrist. It looked menacing enough, with a double barrel nose and a thicker black body contorted and twisted into a shape that appeared efficient enough for his size. The right of the barrel however confused Fera as she stared at it closer, noting that the extra piece there didn't seem to have any particular reason or purpose. Fera knew her guns, and even if she didn't know this armory, she did understand the basic weight distributes across the weapon. If that balance was tipped, then not only the wielder be in danger, but also those around them.

"I was told staring was considered rude in your species." Solas abruptly commented, rolling his wrist as the gun collapsed on itself and folded neatly and conveniently into the compartment on his upper arm. Fera started when she heard his voice, and she backed up. It hadn't crossed her mind that she'd been staring, but now that she realize she had, she felt foolish. Sol stood from the object he'd been sitting on and he lifted his other hand to continue messing with his bracer.

Her eyes narrowed as she took in the tone of his words, and she crossed her arms. "I wasn't staring," she snapped, "just watching you work on your firearm." at this, his eyes flicked over his shoulder to look at her before he returned to his arm. "Unnecessary, considering you shall never obtain Cybertronian weaponry."

"And if I do?" she shot back without thinking, raising an eyebrow. The mech turned to her finally and lowered his arms, only to give her a firm expression. "My comrades are here to ensure that does not happen. In the primitive control of your kind, the result our technology could create would be catastrophic." his hand came up to sit on his hip and Fera huffed at him, annoyance filling her body. Who was he to judge an entire race? She knew a select few deserved to go nowhere within a hundred miles of the nearest rifle, but not everyone was power-hungry freaks.

"Don't point the blame to us when you're the ones who killed your own planet in civil war." the moment these words left her mouth, she regretted them. The shock of her own statement washed throughout her, and the same emotion sparked in Sol's features. He frowned at her, now fully intent on showing his displeasure in her. Instead of responding, he began to walk away, making her feel ever the worse at her inappropriate mention. He didn't glance her way once when he passed, nor did he show a hint of his inner thoughts. The mask had arisen again, and Fera felt she'd crossed a line this time that had caused that wall to form.

Sighing, Fera's shoulders drooped and she started after him at a brisk pace. "Solas, I'm sorry." she called up to him. He didn't stop. "I know that was a crappy thing to say to you, and I shouldn't have, I apologize for that. It was out of line."

He did halt now, his body turning back around with an unreadable twist to his mechanical face. "You've only proven my point Fera, I should actually thank you." his voice dripped with bitterness, and Fera's eyebrows knitted in confusion, "You gave me the proof I need to understand that you were nothing but a selfish, stubborn adolescent with no other concern in your mind other than that of your own well being."

Surprise overtook anything other in Fera's mind, and she could do nothing but stare up at Solas for a moment or so, processing what he had said. This turned to anger however, and she balled up her fingers, her nails biting into her skin. "Don't tell me what I am," she seethed, "You don't understand me or 'my kind'. You can't, and you never will. I think that-"

"-sometimes you're really clueless." a hissing series of hydraulics sounded as the massive figure leaned over her and the railing, his bulk shadowing her. James Marks, sitting at the computer, continued to type away, unaffected. Epps didn't appear concerned either, simply sitting sprawled across a couch recently installed on the scaffold not too long ago. His long arms and legs spread out, his head lolling back in a fight to stay awake.

"Clueless?" the mech's volume startled Epps and he jerked, his eyes popping wider, "How am I clueless when you're the one jumping into danger all the time and giving all of us a sparkattack?" a finger came up from Solas, jabbing at Fera and causing her to stumble back a step. The teenager jumped straighter and glared at her Guardian, her breathing heavy with agitation. "That's not always my fault! The 'Cons are constantly after me; I can't outrun them every time."

"You don't have to outrun them, simply don't run towards them in the first place!"

"I'm not a child, I can make my own decisions!"

Fera's skin flushed a rosy pink, her smaller hands shaking slightly. Blood roared through her ears while her teeth clenched hard enough that she feared they may crack. Solas was equally as determined to stand his ground, his shoulders hunched in attempts to intimidate Fera into submission, his body language anything but pleased. "When your decisions nearly get you killed, I'm going to step in. That is what a Guardian is for." he was depending on the Guardian shtick again, and this time, it did nothing but tick the female off even more. There was nothing holding her back at the moment, the room being empty except for the two males lounging on the sofa and tapping away on the keyboard. They would be no help here.

"That doesn't mean you need to put me on a freaking leash!"

"That is apparently the only option I've been given if you don't stop trying to commit suicide with the Decepticons."

Their argument didn't seem to go anywhere but in circles, and that didn't seem to sit well with James as he swiveled around in his chair, his hands gesturing to the mech and his charge. "Can you two just take it to the closet already?" his hand flapped at the computer screen, "I'm trying to work here!" ringing echoes of his voice bounced from the walls, met with total silence. Solas and Fera had frozen where they stood, their eyes both set on the colonel. Epps was still on the couch, attempting to stifle his laughing behind a hand. He failed however, and he burst out laughing. As his body doubled over his legs, his chest shaking, James yanked back around in his chair and focused on his monitor.

Neither Fera or Solas moved for a full minute as they watched the back of the man's head. Epps continued on laughing, and the expressions of horror on both the Cybertronian and human's faces seemed only to make it worse. It was Fera who moved first, her eyebrows stabbing deep into her eyes before she stalked forward. A blush was evident on her face, and her limbs were stiff with embarrassment. She raised a hand and slapped the back of the man's head, taking no mercy on him in the strike. Epps' eyes stretched in shock and humor, while James ducked, reaching up to grab the back of his head while he turned around to face her.

"What was that for?!" he exclaimed. Fera's emotions were foggy and faint at this time, so it was difficult to tell what she thought at that direct moment. By the way her arms crossed over her stomach and her cheeks burned, it wasn't positive. "For being an ass." she bit.

"Well you obviously have it out for each other, so I'm just saying you might as well-" he couldn't finish before Fera's eyes stretched further in terror and the red in her face deepened. She cut him off by swinging a fist, catching him in the shoulder. The colonel's lips parted in quiet pain and he glared at her. "Ow!"

"Can't you just shut up-"

"there, in the rafters. I've almost go it, but I think it's stuck." Fera balanced on her toes, using whatever height she possibly had to wiggle her fingers at the ball lodged in the ceiling beams. Solas struggled to keep her up, having to catch her several times already. She hadn't cared though, for she was used to being dropped from heights such as these. Black fingers curled around her, preparing to act if she should tumble. Sol growled as something popped, and Fera glanced down at him in concern.

"Is this really necessary?" he questioned, rolling his neck, "It's a simple earth plaything. We can retrieve you a new one."

"No Solas, this is the only one around base and we want to continue our game." Fera twisted back and stretched her arms above her, her fingertips brushing the edge of the orange sphere. This was familiar... They'd been playing basketball...back at base in Saint Louis... Her hand managed to clap on the skin of the thing and it inched backward a little. "Beside," she managed, her voice strained, "you owe me. I'm still mad at you."

The Autobot gawked and suddenly jerked his arm down, causing Fera's body to leap up a few inches before she fell to her knees in his palm. Without warning, a giant face aimed at her own, and she leant back. "What could I have possibly done now?" he demanded, sounding offended. A slight tinge of amusement sparkled in her eyes as she watched her Guardian and she sat back on her heels, her hands on her hips. "From keeping secrets from me." she wagged a finger at him as if he were a misbehaving child, "If I would have known that I was somehow connected to some ancient alien artifact, I wouldn't have been so careless with it."

Something must have clicked within him and his eyes shot away in what Fera figured to be discomfort, "Is that really something to discuss now?" his tone was quieter, more reserved. As if he was truly apprehensive about the subject. All Fera had wanted was the ball- Solas brought this upon himself by trying to win a fight with her. "Yes, yes it is. Because I'm the vessel for some legendary thing, connected to a mech who keeps secrets from me, and is being hunted down by some psychotic Decepticon." Fera felt herself becoming more bothered the further she thought about the subject, and she heard the thoughts in her head clicking into place with the realization. What had first been only playful teasing was now a full-on blame game.

"Point taken." he admitted, turning his eyes back at her with a small grin. That moment of anger washed away immediately when seeing his face, and Fera lost her tenseness to smile back. Now wasn't a time to talk about darker things. It was an actual interval of peace, and who was she to ruin-

-a perfectly good bond between her and her Guardian? Seeing him with Liora in his arms was a strange feeling, one that put a fuzzy feeling-

-fear at watching him struggle to breath under the tubes and machines. The coma was in full swing now, the effects on his body taking their toll. She continued to swipe the cloth over his frame, slowly shining-

-blue eyes pinched when he smiled, laughing with her as they rolled on their backs in the meadow. Warm sun filtered over their bodies, warming them as they fell into a comfortable silence. Solas tilted his head back to look at her and she to he, their blue gazes locking. "Fera, I-"

"-never thought you would be the one to keep something like this from everyone Optimus Prime." Solas studied Liora as she played in the corner, interacting with Fera as if the two had known one another for years. Fera felt her cheeks hurting from smiling so much, and she admitted to herself that she hadn't felt so innocent since before her father's death. She looked over to the Primes and her mech, giving him a smile-

-that lit up the room. The way his fake eyes found her own and held hers in a grasp of cobalt fire was amazing. She felt his hand in hers even before he moved for it, his lips already on her own. She tasted the sweet-

-feel of his breath running down her neck as he leant by her ear to whisper-

-calming words as he knitted strong fingers through her own-

-heart racing as she heard that familiar song playing loud in her ears-

-tingling with the blaze of ice that were his eyes as he bore them deep within her very soul-

I have never really thought about death before. I wonder what it would be like. There were so many stories of how people went through to the other side and came back to tell their tales...

The pain was less now, but she still swam. She couldn't stop swimming. If she did, she would simply float; float into oblivion and God knew where. These memories were all she had to hold on to, as well as the intense burning of her ailing heart.

A slim group believed them and prayed for those few to be true. Church was a bigger part of people's' lives as of late, with the whole 'end of the world' bit going on. But death was death, and it would take whom it liked, whenever it liked.

There was a sound coming from it...more internal than external. It sounded soft and low, and oh so very sad. It felt like it was bleeding. Figuratively, it was crying. However, it was the strength she felt as it began to tear apart that surpassed all other pain.

Whether the legends of the afterlife were true or not, it wouldn't matter. Everything came to an end. And even then, it really hurts to think about it. An end. What would be an end to something that had never truly begun? My life was short and pathetic compared to the things I'd wished I'd done. The last few months had been amazing to say the least, even if they were full of giant aliens that either wanted to kill me or protect me.

The agony was overwhelming. It hurt the most when she thought about it. A building rage was swelling inside of it, ripping her open and sewing her back again only to start it all over when she pictured his face in her mind.

Optimus Prime, the most humble of them all, and an impressive figure amongst his peers. Bumblebee, the sweet, bubbly cyberling who wanted nothing but a fun time with his friends. Arcee, the fembot who'd gone through the exact thing I had to in captivity. There were all the others as well that deserved to have their own words said for them, but in truth, they were amazing, incredible creatures that I could never of asked for more from. They protected me and took care of me. No amount of words could describe my gratitude towards them. They would have given their lives to do what Optimus and Rethalia had ordered.

But his face was the clearest of them all, and she couldn't get it out her mind, no matter how hard she tried. To try and pushing him away only worsened her heart's lamenting. It was now in all of her limbs, tearing and scorching her insides until she was left with but a husk of herself. And still it went on, destroying her as it went. One piece at a time.

And the Fabials... I would miss them all. One in particular spiked my interest though, and when he entered my thoughts, I couldn't stop thinking of him: Solas Kaon. My Guardian. My savior. My friend. But these words were meaningless compared to all that I've felt when I heard his name. There was no depth I could go to thank him for saving my life on more than one occasion, or for the friendship he'd granted me after being alone for so long. So he wasn't a friend anymore. After we had gotten our bond, he was more like a brother to me. I'd never said it out loud, but maybe, just maybe, he'd gotten the message and felt the same way for me. No mater what, I trusted him with my life. And even now, I would do it all over again. If I'd had a second chance, I'd... What would I do? Would I actually say...it? Could I have brought myself to look him in the eye and tell him face to face that I...

And she could do nothing to react to the essence breaking her heart. Something was slipping away from her, leaving her open and raw. Sharp thorns surrounded it in the same way as barbed wire, clinging to her desperately as it dug deeply into the walls of her chest. It was indescribable to explain, but at the same time, she felt words and enormous power welling in her mind. It was almost as if she were destined to explode. This...whatever it was, was but ribbons of broken glass, shattering and sticking in her despite her attempts to keep it together. This broken glass had a name, one that she called for over and over again. But alas, her voice screamed noiselessly through the choking vortex of the mental capacity.

If I had gotten a second chance, I wouldn't of hesitated to look him in the eye, throw away my nerves, and actually say it...

She could neither move, nor feel, but she understood one thing. And that one thing only:

I love Solas Kaon.

Another part of her split open, shredding her inside and causing her to weep dry tears.

That's it. I finally admit it to myself. And it feels so very, very good. I love him...

This was deathbed. She knew this. She could feel it. However, a part of her was cooing inaudible things in her ear, telling her to fight on. Though she knew not of what it was saying, the feeling behind it was enough. It wouldn't let her die. No, her time wasn't now. This wasn't in her plan for life. She had so much more to fight for. Things would go on, and her heart was to go on beating past this crippling nightmare. She would rise again.

And she was to make well sure she told Solas Kaon what she had meant to for so long now. It rang in a mantra through her mind, over and over and over and over...

I love him.

I tried ending on a better note for now,

Just to give you all a good, meaty chunk of emotions to chew on for awhile.

Fera and Sol's story doesn't end here.

Oh no.

There's still more aft to kick,

love to be given,

and challenges to overcome.

Because, my friends, the best story, is always the hopeless story :)

*Chapter Inspiration: You Are The Only Exception= Paramore*