Wow, the time is finally here.

The last chapter of OTSH Part 1.

Did it really come so fast?

I can't even thank you all enough for all your support and thoughts throughout these months, it really means the world to me :)

When I had first started OTSH, I never dreamed it would turn into what it has now, or maybe even continue after a while.

But it was all of you that kept it going, and for that, I thank each and every one of you :D

This isn't the end, as you all know, and I can't wait to see what you'll all think of OTSH Part 2 when it's finally here.

For now, let's finish up here, maybe shed a tear or two, and hope for the best in the future of all FF writers ^-^

Enjoy!

Of The Spark And Heart

Part 1

Chapter 50

"There can only be light in a world of darkness..." and she took his servos in her hands, entrapping him in a game of fire and ice. One that bled power beyond her feeble body and escaped the contours of her minds to connect with his. She was a level beyond her creation. Beyond her near maniac ideals and sights, she was but another of him. Inner cores reached far beyond that of physical realities. And her own fought in her inspiring will; in the truth she spoke; in the wisdom she weighed under. His words burned for her own, meant only for herself and herself alone. What meaning had they if they'd been for another?

Skin as the ivory pale of the snow, with striking gold tumbling over her shoulders. A smile graced the faint pink of her smooth lips, the gentleness in her gaze far different from the strong blaze of her inner brilliance. The natural state of herself, so relaxed beside him, was enough for his own pains. But the echoing hollowness he found in her resilient eyes was now but a smoldering blank. Something had been torn from her, and thus, himself.

There was no size differing between them, for she was large as he, able as he, to see sight to sight. This way felt odd somehow, as if she belonged at such a state, and at the same time, did not. Their pounding, coursing energy signatures curled and twirled over them as living creatures, breathing and moving as they did. They remained alone, caught in a single universe that seemed to hold but only them. His core yearned for hers- to feel the familiar intensity that was his charge and her phenomenal influence. However, she simply pulled away from his attempts, always keeping out of the very tips of his calling reach. And always, she kept her smile. That sad, sad smile.

"Why did you leave me?" he questioned, his voice but a muggy murmur in the black. She squinted her eyes slightly as she grinned wider, the edges becoming watery with unshed tears. This did not go along with sorrow-filled pull of her lips, and it made her seem so much more frail. He couldn't figure out what it was she was feeling, for the link they shared was but a broken wisp of before- as if it was a dying ember.

"Because you are my light, Solas Kaon." she answered in a way that shattered Sol's lasting fortitude. He cringed at hearing his name on her tongue, unable to conceal the lashing waves of molten heat trickling through his spark at the sound. "That makes no sense..." he insisted as he lengthened his arm and grabbed for her. If only to feel her near again- to be assured that she was safely within his grasp... He would trade the worlds for it.

As before, an unseen force tugged her back, only to have her return once Solas withdrew. There, but not. How was it possible she could be in his reach, but remain so far? Agony sung with the notes of a wailing cry, taking place of the spark song once filtering between them. Solas refused to part his digits with her fingers, keeping them solidly around the fleshier appendage in a battle to believe she was truly here. This must be her, before him, for who else could solidify in such a false body so well?

"Darkness is here, around us." she leaned closer, and still stayed in horrible distance from touching his body at all except for his servos. Straining flashed almost inconceivably fast over her liquid stare, as if she wished to go further, but was restrained. Solas' frame trembled with her nearness and a shiver wracked him from a despondency of their link being held apart like this. Her sayings confused and frustrated Solas, and he thrusted himself forward, adamant on thrashing the fear and utter depression in her now colder view. No matter his tries, they continued to be thwarted, and he was left helpless to aid his ailing comrade.

"What is it you mean?" he whispered, terrified of breaking their still. This creature, so fragmented and crestfallen, remained close to the mech's spark. He could search for her for ages, and all he would find was an empty shell in his inner conscious. Their bond was throbbing, aching and weeping all in a single motion as it struggled to scramble for its missing piece. Her name singed his lip plates, causing them to fumble on the simple designation.

His question scalded the space left in their bodies, causing Solas to silently cry out and clutch for the one he knew was inadvertently the source of this. "I am here," she breathed in his audio, brushing his upper arm with a frozen touch that should have held warmth, "to warn you, Solas Kaon."

The appearance was surely Fera, for none could mistake her, however the voice had become one that was not her own. The touch dipped deep into Solas' armor, chilling him from the inside out. Massive pulses of knowledge and inconceivable intelligence flushed through Solas, overwhelming him with the pure magnitude of it all. Space, time, the universe itself even, scattered across an endless expanse of everything that was and had ever been. This was not his female, for her husk was certainly taken over by another. However, the tears and hidden agony was hers, on account that it was tucked away beneath the greatness of that who occupied her now.

Solas reared back, infuriated that something, or some one, would possess the human youth. He could not travel far, for Fera's false grip stayed firm on his arms. Those intense eyes focused on his own, half his Fera, and the other of a being he knew not, but strangely recognized.

"This form I appear before you as is but a capsule for the message I intend to deliver." the voice again boomed, so loud in the endless space that it caused Solas' frame to rattle and his processor to mentally cringe, "Fera Rosalie Lennox, our Keeper of the Stone of Primus, is under our protection. She has always been by Primus' will from her creation until apparent termination."

"Does this mean she has...perished?" in some way, this word paralyzed Sol. He found he could neither vent nor move when he pictured his smaller friend lying limp in his grasp, her skin laced with the gray, and her listless eyes staring into indefinite space. A numbness carried over himself, leaving him senseless to the world beyond his conscious. The Fera impersonator loosened their hold on Solas, their eyes going softer. A slight dip of their helm caused Solas' spark to skip a beat. "Fera is but in a state of existence. We continue to keep her alive, however, it is under your control if she may stay so."

Beside this perplexing riddle, Solas felt hope building. "What is it you have come to relay to me?" he questioned, his tone stronger. If she was alive, then that was all that mattered. Whatever it was that this being had to say couldn't change the fact that she was still living. The fake human straightened a bit, gaining an unnaturally regal air that was beyond Fera's ability and character.

"Our creation of old has perished under the creation of new, yet their whim remains to influence the modern antagonist into reviving beyond Primus' AllSpark. Listen carefully," they hissed, yanking Solas close again, "it is but a matter of discrepancy that I pray you heed my forewarning. Fallen is no longer, but risen it has become. Once the tomb beneath thine peds now bares life in its wretched frame. Death walks among you now. Prepare."

With shocking realization, Solas noticed that Fera's body was melting into the air. Imaginary winds carried along the frays of her, taking it up and into the open without halting. Solas snatched Fera's arms in his servos, begging her with his eyes to stay. She must live. She could not die here, like this. It was impossible for her to leave. If it meant he was forced to struggle for her survival by his spirit alone, then so be it. He would keep her here, no matter what.

And even as he vowed this, she continued to dissipate, that sad smile now returning to her face. Solas roared when his spark seized in flame, the energy discharge crippling him for a moment as he fought to keep Fera here. "Stay. Please." he managed behind clenched oral sheets, his faceplates peering up to meet her gaze with his. The captor of Fera's body shook their head slowly, keeping her eyes on him at all times. "As a Prime, I am forced to return to my duties beyond my personal values. In the form I carry, I am restricted. However, it is Fera that bares the ability to see to it that I become free as my brothers and sister." a tear slid down her cheek, "She wishes you light beyond your darkness. She understands her duty as the Keeper, and what it is she shall carry as the one who was blessed with her gift. It is out of my capabilities to predict her time, however, I hold confidence in her path."

Abruptly, things began to make sense. The power of the Stone was incredible and perhaps higher than that of the AllSpark cube itself. Fera bore another in her body, and apparently that of a Prime who spoke of future and felt of space. Energy flowed over him, though he had never felt as fatigued as he did now. A strange feeling, he understood it clear enough. Ancient wisdom surpassing that of the knowledge now barraged his body, shoving him into a short time of incredible wisdom and understanding. The vastness behind her tear-glazed eyes was enough to confirm his suspicions.

"Vector Prime." he vented.

That same smile became wavering as the mist of Fera's body crawled over her, eating away at her hips before scaling up her back. A low tilt of the head forward was all that was needed. Awe passed through Solas as he witness this being. One of the Thirteen, Vector Prime was Keeper of space and time. Was he also perhaps the entity inside the Stone of Primus? He spoke that he was under Fera's control, as if she bore power over him. Could it be? Could Fera hold the power of a past Prime in her hands? If so, it would mean she was a larger target than before. Only he could be informed of this new information if he so wished to keep Fera's safety. He vowed to keep it to himself, his digits tightening around her astral hands as he made his silent promise.

Beside this, Solas wished not to see a Prime. Not even an Original Thirteen captured his complete attention. All he truly wanted now was to hear Fera's voice, if for the last time.

Vector Prime must have known this, for he greeted Solas' gaze with a solemn one of his own. In Fera's eyes, it was foreign to behold. A sympathy was there, taking the place of the content sadness. Fera was trapped beneath Vector, and beyond Solas' saving. He knew they were parting, and it pained him unlike anything before to be ripped apart like this. Vector Prime withdrew some to allow Fera forward, perhaps in pity of the mech. All that escaped her was her flowing tears and the expression of grief her heart openly released. There was a farewell here. Solas felt it in the twist of her features.

"Fera, don't. Don't do this." but he knew it wasn't up to the female. This was not her choice.

"Don't worry about me, you big jerk..." a single hand came up and cupped his cheekplate, buzzing with a life he wished so greatly to be real, "I'm fine." and then she completely began to fade. Her smile returned, forced, but constructed under a stream of liquid down her cheeks. He reached up himself to hold her there, maybe for a vent longer, before she left him. It continued up her back, over her shoulders, and through her arms. Her neck shimmered to nothing, hair fell into the dark, arms quickly melted. All was left were her eyes, gleaming with emotion and untold promises that were yet to be kept...

Shocking agony shot up the mech's spine, causing him to jolt awake. His spark case felt as though it were on fire. Energy from his visions was causing his spark to pound harshly in his chassis. Heat boiled beneath his protoform as a lasting result of his bond being twisted and contorted. Blurry light blinded him for clicks at a time, forcing him to lay still and stare into the distance until it settled and both color and shapes registered. This time, he was left without air and burning to a point he feared he may melt. Another wave had hit his spark from his bond with Fera, giving him these agonizing nanoclicks every so often.

Her image was glued into the back of his optic slips and would not budge as he laid her longer and longer. He dare not try removing it, for he wished to hold onto it for as long as possible. Their keening link was shriveled and black- in a state that was deteriorated from the extraordinary light from before. This sent fear piercing straight through his spark and a cold dread flowing in his energon. In his state of denial, he rolled himself off whatever he was lying on to drop down to the floor. He fell as a weak pile of slag, his limbs unwilling to move fast enough. A resounding crash hit his audios as he collided with the ground. Hammering blows struck the inside of his helm over and over in a cranialache the size of Cybertron. Fatigue still lingered inside of his frame and prohibited him from shifting quite right. However, he was able to squeeze his optics tightly shut and hold in the curses on his glossa as he slid his arms up to press his servos to the cold steel.

As slow as sludge, Solas used the complete strength he possessed left to shove himself onto his heelpeds. Here he sat on his kneebolts, his arm wrapped around his midsection while he waited for stability to return to him. A strange sense of balance that hadn't been there before leveled his shoulderbolts and Solas looked beside him, finding his left arm properly attached back to his frame. These digits enclosed into an angry fist that trembled under the pressure. Yes, this was his old appendage, and yes it made it easier for him to maneuver and use the berth to climb to his peds, but at the same time he'd wished to keep the arm separated from him as a permanent reminder of what he had failed to do.

Fresh welds decorated both sides, his old and new crosshatching his protoform and armor. No cosmetic work was done yet, leaving Solas with armor that was scored with never-ending scratches and scrapes. Broken glass sprinkled from the windows of his alt, crunching under his steps when he moved. Chilled drafts filtered in his vents, doing nothing to cool his blazing core. One after the other, Solas' peds shuffled forward with every stride being full of coursing pain. At reaching the berth, his servo stalling, Solas hunched over slightly as another constriction grabbed his chassis and sent his CPU into a fritz.

This happened multiple times as Solas journeyed on, but he didn't dare pause for a nanoclick. He needed to see her, no matter what state she was in. Though their bond was lifeless and numb to the touch, Solas knew for a fact that it would be far worse than this if she had died. Upon leaving this world, Solas feared he may join his charge from the sere enormity of her being so embedded with his spark essence. For now he felt as if a part of himself had been stripped away, such as his left arm had been. However, the dead 'carcass' of their connection was purely unresponsive and whole. Shriveled, but whole.

Through the door and into the hallway, Solas lifted his free servo to shield his optics. The lighting seemed brighter than before and left him disoriented for a click or two. When he dropped the limb, he noted the silver of the walls and the stark grey of the sign hanging at the head of the hallway to his far left. An unmistakable symbol, Solas knew he was in the east medbay, made specifically for his kind in the D.C base. Noises floated on the bitter air down the corridor, coming from somewhere in the near distance.

Sluggishly Solas started on from the doorway, relying heavily on the wall to hold him up as he headed for the only place he knew she would be. Humans appearing every so often would create a wide arc around him, with most of them staring after the mech as he made his way toward the adjacent halls. His peds barely left the floor, scraping along in a feeble attempt of pushing him on. So avidly did he wish he could speed his pace, but by the way his spark stuttered with aching loss and his frame was worn by battle, he was certain this was his fastest.

Finally, he was able to sense the change in the space around him and feel the openness of the main lobby. An arm still around his sore waist, Solas leaned against the wall and tilted his helm up. The voices were crisp now and edged with a hushed fever. Ratchet was among those stationed in the area at the time, Optimus speaking with him. Cloudsong was also beside Ratchet, her servos clasped before her sternly, her optics downcast and dreary. They flickered up as Solas had entered, their former light now cluttered with shame and helplessness.

The medic mech and Prime seemed to notice the fembot's gaze, for they glanced Solas' way as well, finding him against the corner of the wall, his faceplates stone-hard and laced with a ceaseless inner conflict. Cloudsong made a move as if she were about to speak, but she instead drew back, throwing her faceplates downward again. Ratchet was studying Sol carefully, maybe assessing him. Optimus was simply...Optimus. The same Prime, full of endless understanding and empathy for his warriors. All wore a tenseness about them, never allowing their frames to relax. Sol rose his mandible point, determined to put up a higher front than what he actually felt. It was his inner pride that compelled him to do this, and he offered no sign of strain to alert his comrades that he was suffering under his armor. His spark was constantly throbbing no matter how far or close he became.

Ratchet was the first of them all to start toward Solas, which caused the mech to freeze in place. He stopped yards away however, keeping his distance. Perhaps it was the former gladiator's violent past that kept the medibot at bay. Or could it have been the argument between himself and the yellow-green being when Solas had nearly injured him in Saint Louis those months ago? Either way, Ratchet stood off at a length where he could easily reach Sol with a few long strides, but so much so that Solas could not lash out at him. The warrior scowled at the CMO in disbelief that anybot could suggest that Solas was capable of attacking anything at the moment.

"Solas Kaon, you are supposed to be in the medbay." a tight, tired tone from the medic was all Solas needed to understand what events had transpired in his absence. It was not good, and Solas dug his digits into his side as he held it in anxiety. Apparently he was not yet meant to be awake. That did not stop him however. "I was." he retorted sharply, his voice betraying his discomfort, "I left it in order to find Fera."

Darting his optics over Ratchet's shoulderbolt, Solas saw Optimus' usually noble frame sag marginally at the name. Wounds of his own covered the Prime from toelinks to crest, no space left clean and untouched. A long slash over his front mixed in with the welds of smaller lashes over his armoring and exposed protoform. He had not replaced the bracer armoring on his right arm, nor the shoulderbolt cup on his left. Jagged remains of his mask poked from under the vents on his cheekplates. One of the two there had been crushed, leaving him with a single external vent and a few under his chassis armor like the rest of the Autobots. A single spike from his helm was torn off, while the crest itself looked almost dented fully inward.

Traveling down his peds, one could see the flames of his paint now smoking grey from the metal alloy beneath. He favored one leg over the other, meaning his old kneebolt injury must be acting up again. Solas was sure the commander had refused treatment until his peers were seen to first. Nonetheless, that did not mean he looked any better for ware.

"The sedatives I gave you should have kept you under..." Ratchet went on, catching Solas' attention, "is it your spark bothering you?" his words had become softer and almost hesitant. The Guardian lifted the arm pressing against the wall and he propped it up, slamming a fist into the concrete surface when he bowed his helm. "Of course Ratchet, why would it not?" his balled servo shook and he ripped his faceplates away, "How is it I can recharge peacefully with such agony in my spark?" as if on cue, the flaring of his spark picked up and consumed him in enough affliction that he felt his kneebolt collapse.

Ratchet leapt forward and grabbed the mech, catching him before he hit the ground. Solas allowed himself to be support by his shoulderbolts, but he didn't turn his faceplates to the side, instead keeping them trained on the ground around his peds. "This is why I placed you in the medbay Solas, you are unable to process properly at the moment." Ratchet scolded too quietly. Solas lifted his cranial unit when he heard Optimus approach, his teal optics dejected. The Primes on the other hand was shadowed with another strife: guilt.

Always the one to take blame. Optimus would rather perish than allow another to deadspark in his name, and Rethalia would have agreed to so without hesitating. To have a being, human or Cybertronian, fall under his watch... It had to be difficult for him. But it was so much harder to forgive him when Solas was going through this affliction. Why couldn't the Prime have saved her? He was there the entire time, when Solas had not been. He could have kept Fera safe until the mech's arrival. So why hadn't he tried harder?

"Solas, I am grieved that this event has transpired against Fera and yourself so suddenly-"

"I have no need for your pity Optimus Prime, and neither has Fera." Solas interjected, putting more venom into his tone than he meant to. Prime visibly flinched and seemed apprehensive to meet Sol's gaze. The accusation was rolling off of Sol in oceans at a time and he was incapable to stop it. The facts were too many against Optimus.

Ratchet shifted to get a better hold of Solas, wrapping the mech's arm around his neck. "Enough Solas, every 'Bot out there was holding off the Decepticons the best they could. What happened to Fera could not be prevented, and your attitude will not do any better to improve her condition." a mixed array of aggravation and regret came from Solas' broken spark at the medic's comment. Before he could speak a word however, Optimus raised a servo, cutting him off. "No, no, Ratchet, Solas is in his right to speak his processor." he lowered the arm, "Even if that right is subjected to negative thought." there was sadness here, along with a silent acceptance.

Solas knew Ratchet wouldn't agree with his leader, but he fell quiet anyway. Respect kept him from speaking up against the Prime and he instead switched back to the mech he held steady. "We need to return you to the medbay where I can give you a proper examination." immediately, Solas pulled away, stumbling back from Ratchet until his spinal support hit the wall and he was watching the two mechs from further away. "No." he stated simply, "I traveled here to see Fera. I plan on seeing her no matter the condition I'm in."

His silent challenge flooded from the glare he sent at his medic and leader, daring they argue. Optimus was far more hesitant than Ratchet, merely standing back as Ratchet stalked forward, unaffected by Solas' agitated stance. "This is no time for your obstinate behavior. You're behaving as a youngling!"
Solas bristled at the mech's approach, and he hunched his shoulderbolts, preparing to fight him off. This pull on his processor was too great to ignore. The lack of presence in his spark was disturbing for him, and he desired nothing more than to witness for himself the state of his charge. Had that truly been her, taken over by Vector Prime? Or perhaps it was a vision- some lucid loop his programs had been put through to help his ailing. Fera could very well be dead, and he would have no knowing.

This new realization spurred Solas' chassis to rumble in a low growl. Ratchet paused for a moment, his optics wide in shock. There was a dangerous aura surrounding Solas, and he outwardly warned off any attempts to lead him anywhere but to the human. Cloudsong backed up a step, as if she were afraid of the mech. If she was, her faceplates showed nothing of it. It was a sad longing almost. She wouldn't approach him, he knew, considering his disheveled and hostile attitude. However, Ratchet was not like his apprentice.

With a scowl, Ratchet squared his shoulderbolts in a standoff with his patient. "Solas, this is my last warning to you," he took a single step forward and Solas tensed, "Fera is not in the best health as of now, and so I highly suggest you get the repairs you need before you see her. It is in both of your best interests-"

"Let him go."

All three pairs of optics snapped over to stare at the large red and blue Prime standing in the room. His expression had gone into an iron neutrality, leaving no room to guess what he could possibly be thinking. Ratchet was in his sights, while a calming servo had been set on Cloudsong's shoulderbolt to settle her. The CMO's mandible had gone slack and now hung open wordlessly. Neither mechs were aware of Solas' frame relaxing against the wall. It had been Ratchet's comment that made his anger instantly fade to the back of his processor. Fera was actually alive. The medic mentioned she was not in her better days, but nonetheless, she was living. So the vision had to of been more than a simple processor loop. That was enough for now.

Optimus swung his helm around to lock gazes with Sol, his deeply cobalt-blue optics dug into Solas' core in a massive show of respect. He knew what Solas was suffering through, and he had since the first orn of this war. Solas wasn't as ignorant as most believed, for he had fought in this long battle his entire life cycle. There were times were Solas spoke with Optimus, and he felt he could see the struggles of their past raging around him at that very nanoclick. If any Autobot could be trusted most by the former gladiator, it would be him.

"Solas has the opportunity to visit his charge if he so wishes. If he is able to traverse here under the health he is in, then I highly predict he may handle himself well in carrying himself to Fera Lennox's side." a slow dip of the helm and Optimus was stepping aside, "It will do him well Ratchet. Give him a positive state of processor if you will."

Begrudgingly, Ratchet huffed and continued forward to grab Solas and sling the warrior's arm around his neck. "Fine Optimus, but I am to accompany him there in the event he is to collapse." in the mech's support, Solas allowed himself to be helped, knowing that if he was to try getting to Fera alone, he very well could be dragging himself the rest of the way there after very long. Optimus lifted a servo and gestured the two on, saying nothing against his eldest friend's request.

"And if he is to collapse on our way Prime," Ratchet stopped himself and Solas as they limped past the mech and fembot apprentice, "then the blame is on you."

Solas was fortunate enough to be lead to Fera's medical room without slowing down much throughout the trip. His peds were languid to move, with the limbs from his hipbolts down feeling as though they were filled with lead. Weights dragged him down and repeatedly caused him to stumble. Ratchet questioned him multiple times if he was really willing on continuing on, and when the mech replied with a firm 'yes' every time, he eventually grew quiet.

As they approached the correct barrier, Solas' vents were heaving air, his frame burning from more than the sparkache. His bond was lifeless as ever, and he desperately prodded at it in hopes it would return to the vitality it had before. No matter how many times he did this however, it would not respond. It was but a limp, useless attachment to his spark. It was eerily similar to the aftereffects of degenerative spark syndrome.

It was initially apparent that there was a 'Bot guarding Fera's door when they made their way into the correct hallway. A larger one as well, and one Solas had trouble recognizing. When they twisted their long neck around to see the incoming two mechs, their optics shining a vivid green, Solas knew.

Ratchet practically carried Solas to stand before the leader of the Fabials, his arm holding Solas' around his neck while the other clamped onto his right tank cavity. Cameo greeted the two with a steady set of optical sensors, the slimmer cranial unit of her 'beast mode', as they called it, sending an uncertain buzz down Sol's spinal relay. Cameo was of course a larger reptilian creature the humans referred to as a 'dragon', so her alternate mode was slightly larger than that of the other Autobots' vehicular modes. The intimidating factor of her appearance caused Sol to instinctively become defensive, his fight or flight protocols slinking into the forefront of his CPU.

All the fembot did however was give the two a slight nod of the helm and return her sharp features forward, adamantly protecting the precious cargo inside. Ratchet took the next step and punched in the keys for the door, allowing it to slide aside and admit them entrance. As they stepped forward, Solas froze and stopped Ratchet with a servo to the chassis. Confusion marred the medic's faceplates as he looked to Sol. "What are you-?"

"Can I have a moment alone please? I swear to you I will call for your aid if anything is to occur." his servo lowered, "I simply wish to have a click of peace."
after a careful deliberation, it seemed Ratchet had come to the conclusion that Solas was telling the truth, and he respectfully backed off. Solas once again willed himself on past the doors and into the space he felt was heavier with black than he'd ever experienced before. His venting ceased in mid-cycle, and his spark sputtered in its casing.

Cold, chilling air scrambled up his protoform in a relentless series of unforgiving drafts. The heat was no more, replaced by a sucking void of darkness as his own personal black hole. Lights were dimmed and weak, sending shadows across the niches and crannies of the room. Bolted slabs of silver metal encased the entities in a prison of the mind. A volley of machines surrounded a single berth in the middle of the floor. Small beeps and clicks were the only sound Solas heard except for the roaring of his energon in his audios.

Crisp white sheets flowed over the mass lain in the berth, covering most of it beneath. Long, padded bars held the figure up above the surface of the berth, keeping them from actually touching the structure. Their head was supported by a separate pedestal, a mask over the bottom half of their face. Their hair was pulled back, keeping it away from their pale face. The sheets moved in slow, shallow movements up and down as the only sign of life other than the shrill note of the monitor whenever it spiked.

Stunned had been his first emotion upon seeing Fera as vulnerable as she was at this moment. Never before had he pictured in his wildest imaginations that she could appear so fragile. And no amount of time he stood and stared at her brought any movement from her. She remained still under his expectant optics. He half predicted she would stand and move around as if it were any other Earth day, however, the logical part of himself, as well as the empty bond, told him otherwise.

"Don't worry about me, you big jerk...I'm fine."

Was it Fera whom had said this, or Vector Prime?

Solas forced himself to trudge toward the table, his processor throwing one denial after another to the front of his thoughts. It wasn't her; this was some other female; Fera was merely sleeping; Ratchet had made a mistake and she was going to wake up any astrosecond now. These ridiculous ideas popping into Sol's processor seemed genius at the time, and he found himself believing some of them after the few clicks of the deafening silence he was caught in. It wasn't long before he held himself at the edge of her bedside, his servos latched around the lip as he fought to stay standing.

The sight of her with the brace around her neck weakened him to the core, causing him to tremble and avert his optics. A compad by the end of the berth that had been left active attracted his view, displaying a brief medical diagnostic of Fera's overall condition. A part of Solas was frightened to approach the device and read it. However, the other half of him, the part of curiosity, egged him to move and take it in one servo. A quick scan of his optics gave Solas all the information he needed, and he slapped the flat pad back on the top of the berth with a disgusted slam. His digits came up and scrubbed his faceplates to try and relieve the knotted wires and sensors. He couldn't bring himself to look back up at her for quite some time, reveling in his processor over what he'd seen on the compad.

Name: Fera Rosalie Lennox
Sex: Female
Date of birth: 05/14/06 - Age: 18 yrs
Cause of admission: Spinal/cranial injury
Admitted: 11/15/24
Chief Medical Staff: Ratchet, Autobot CMO/ Doctor Terra Shelby, physician/ Doctor Stephan Peters, surgical Rep. / Additional staff TBA
Notes: Patient has shown signs of neurological activity over lasting hours under surveillance of Chief Medical Officer Ratchet of the Autobot Military Alliance Group. Upper spinal fracture resulting in unresponsive electric pulse therapy in the motor neurons located within the sematic system of the CNS. Blunt trauma to the occipital lobe leading to failure in the optical visibility patterns, resulting in indefinite dysfunction. Patient is currently stable as of oh-seven-hundred standard time.

What could this mean for Fera? Spinal injuries were devastating even to Cybertronians if irreplaceable. However humans could not replace such a vital part of their body as easily as a mech or fembot, leaving them with the more serious wounds for the rest of their already short lives. If it was damaged, that could leave her with an array of disabilities or side effects. And the trauma to her rear skull could leave her blind or susceptible to bleeding in her brain, instantly killing her. She was currently alright and living, but what would she be left with if she woke up? Blindness? Paralyzation? His spark shard inside her heart must be complicating things, and it would also explain Ratchet being head of her care.

Solas relied greatly on the sturdiness of the berth as he doubled over it beside her. His arms folded underneath him and his helm bowed low, his crest scraping his bracers. He felt weak and nauseated, as if his tanks had anything to purge. Slight tremors rocked his plates and he curled his digits inward until they began to tremble. Fera's sheets brushed his arm and he glanced up, barely raising his faceplates to see the side of her bruised cheek. Fog lined the walls of the mask on her face before fading, her chest rising as she took in the artificial air.

"Fera, I..." his vocal capacitor seemed unwilling to continue, breaking for a moment. A disgusted feeling overcame his processor and he shook his helm from side to side. Again, his cranial unit fell atop his bracers, his internal conscience finding him unworthy of even looking at the human on the table. "I'm sorry," he chocked, "that I failed you. That I was not there to protect you as I should have."

At this, there seemed to be some strength in his to lift his shamed expression, his optics slowly gliding upwards to land on her prone form. She was so pure in her state, without a single stress twisting her ivory face as it did her dreams. It closely resembled her time of rest actually. Painfully so, he willed himself that this was indeed far worse than a mere slumber. She was fighting for her life, as she had been since that first kalon. Things were so far away now, measured in vorns than Earth months. Six of them, that is all that had passed. And yet, it felt so much longer.

"You deserved so much more from me, and I couldn't give it to you. Do you understand how that makes me feel?" his servos raised, open, "When I could do nothing as you were ripped away from my very spark..." his oral sheets snapped shut, cutting him off in his sudden rage. What had fate against him? All he wished for was the safety of his charge, and yet, it seemed as though that was an astronomical task to accomplish. Looking at her now, Solas knew her resilient spirit and understood her defiant nature, and that put a minute hope inside of him. That was what had made Fera herself after all. Solas wouldn't dare have her any other way, but it was still what made Fera, Fera that created the difficulties around her. It had been her after all that approached the Autobots in the first place. Did she live for danger? Yes. The answer was yes.

Solas carefully set his arms back across the berth, his anger dissipating and his optic ridges coming down. A part of him felt remorse at possibly losing a partner, while the other half of him was struck into confusion and frustration. How could she do this to herself? Why did she? She threw herself at the Decepticons to save a 'Bot multiple times; hit, spat, and kicked them when she was grabbed; while all at the same time throwing one curse after the other to catch them off guard. A feisty one she was, yes, but a sane or wise one? Most likely not. However, that had been what Solas was there for. To protect her from her stupidity and mistakes.

"It is difficult for me to describe, being apart from one I have been so intimately connected to." he glanced away, pressing a servo to his beating spark as the aching pulses began again, "It causes me to question your being alive or not constantly. Even as you are before me now, I... just don't know." the servo on his chassis closed, firmly holding above his spark case as he shifted his digits to gently perch at her bedside. The closeness helped some, but the initial discomfort and disturbing silence continued to stay.

"My spark believes I could have done more to ensure your safety, and possibly prevent this situation altogether. The logical side of myself differs...however, I was never one to listen to it, was I?" a small grin edged his tired lip plates and he hesitated, almost expecting an answer from deep inside him. So little time it seemed now she had been in his grasp. Only six months felt the same as a week. Earth time passed so quickly that it flustered the Cybertronians. It was no different for Solas as he looked back on the flying kalons and the brief moments he shared with his charge.

What could he have done more? What could he have changed? How would he have acted, if maybe, somehow, he was given a second chance?

"Physically, I predict Ratchet will diagnose I am in better health. My spark has no chance I assume, my frame is merely cosmetically altered, and my processor is functioning properly- if not too well." both servos now returned to hold in front of him, their digits left open as he stared down at them. So many emotions and thoughts flashed by in studying these tools of his, and he urged himself to suppress as many as possible before they shot his CPU. He would allow some to pass, weak as he was to their attack, and he would be forced to meet them helm-on.

It was the lesser mocking that he knew of at first, but it was they that deepened and gnarled and knotted his raw wounds, opening them wider and letting him leak. Her face, so light then with a distinct happiness, was so beaten and still. If one was to touch her, Solas feared she may break. Her spot was too stiff, the position unnaturally perfect. No matter how strongly he wanted to think she was asleep, he wasn't so ignorant. At least, he believed, she was unconscious to the pain she could be feeling.

What happened when she was to wake?

"However, despite all this, I am convinced I'm falling apart. The bond we shared, it's empty now, without your being there. What is it I am supposed to do with you wounded as you are? What if you are to become blind and paralyzed? What life is that for a human?" his arms flung around now, his emotions riling up his energon and chemical levels until his vents were swallowing large gulps of air and his temperature rose, "You...you needed so much more from me...and I was unable to give it to you. I should have been there, I shouldn't have left you...it was foolish of me..."

Once more, his tone softened, and so did his stance. His arms, holding up two fists, now loosened and let his digits go slack. Who was he to blame any of this on her? She was who she was, and Solas was truly proud of her for braving the Decepticon leader on more than one occasion to stand for what she believed in. Along with that, there wasn't a moment he doubted she wouldn't sacrifice her life for one of the Autobots. It was insane of her really, being so naive and yet so courageous all at the same time. Humans generally did not live such long of lifespans, so to give up so much for those whom you were not even specially related to was unfathomable.

It took much to shake the female's core, and Solas repeatedly let himself become awed by her. She never ceased to amaze him, from the moment her face registered in his processor that chilled, rainy kalon. What had she pictured him as when he had first shown himself to her? Was she afraid? Interested maybe? She certainly hadn't been terrified as she should have been. Perhaps it was her male creator, who had apparently worked alongside the Autobots before, that had prepared her for them. Sol jerked his processor from side to side, breaking his staring at his charge. So badly he yearned for her to open her incredible blue eyes and look into the world. He longed to hear her voice again, and it pained him to sit in utter silence, with not a single scalding word given to him by the teenager. What he wouldn't give to argue with her once again.

It hadn't been initially clear at first how far his arrogance had gone when he had left her side to retrieve his bipedal mode. The extent of her influence on his spark was confounding to his processor, and he began to understand the real depth her life had on his own. It was difficult to recall how the kalons had been before his bond with her.

"I...am certain you don't hear me..." he paused, dragging on a long vent before shuddering and leaning against the berth for better support as the lights swam in his vision, "and I feel like an idiot standing before you, releasing my qualms on you in your condition. You do not need my personal worries, and I apologize for that. I only...wish I knew...what I could have done better."

His strength left him in these words, and he sank to one kneebolt, his frame switching onto his aft. He pushed himself around to press his spinal support against the berth, his helm making a tiny plinking noise as it hit against the cold steel. His arms refused to move, his legs numb. A dull thudding in his chassis was all he felt from his spark, the essence too worn over from the constant pain to feel anything anymore but the dark vastness of the hole Fera had left.

His optics began to close, threatening to send him into recharge. Before he could do so however, a noise at his left caught his attention. His optic slips shot open again, his helm lifting from the berth. In the shadows, a thinner form was cast in a black curtain. Solas, unable to recognize them right away, rumbled his chassis in acknowledgment. They must have heard him, for they started forward, allowing the light to part across their face and reveal their identity. It wasn't truly surprising to see that Fera's own mother was here as well.

The woman's eyes were puffy and red, swollen from recent crying. Wet, inflamed cheeks jumped as she sniffed her cherry-brushed nose, her arms cross tightly over her chest. A thinner clothing the humans called a 'jacket' was around her, settled on her shoulders as a blanket would be. Her movements were short and clipped, her steps light. Her eyes remained full of withheld tears.

She walked straight up to Solas and nodded to him, turning her side to him as she wiped her nose and sucked in a shaky breath. Her voice did not carry for some time, while her arms stayed around her though the room was fairly warm. Only when the water from her eyes had stopped running did she finally look Solas in the optic, her expression torn.

"I'm sure she...doesn't blame you for anything Solas Kaon." the tone in her statement cracked and she stopped to gather herself again, "That isn't like her to let someone else take the blame. She cares about you, so you especially are out of the question." her head tilted upwards, gazing at the berth with despondent hazel irises. "She talked about you all the time you know, to the point where I figured she thought you were one of us actually."

Sarah let her face travel back down and she jerked her chin up, signaling she desired to be lifted. Solas shifted himself to carefully scoop the female up, his digits curling around her to hold her securely in place. He then groaned behind clenched oral sheets as he grabbed the edge of the berth and hefted himself and the human to a stand. She was swift to slip from his grasp, her body stiff as she peered on her daughter lying across the makeshift gurney.

Solas could neither say nor do anything as he watched Fera's creator lay a hand over her mouth, her eyes swelling with tears again. There was a minute of apprehension, one where Solas felt may never end, until Sarah came one step closer, then two, then three. At her bedside, the female sat herself on a ledge hanging from under the sheets, her slight fingers coming up to lay gently on Fera's head.

"She...only had the best in mind, whatever she did." Sarah went on, her body unable to keep the sadness from her comment. Her hand began to stroke Fera's hair over and over in a soothing pattern, her eyes scanning the teenager's face. "I don't think she wanted this on any of you. But I know what she'd say: better me than them. Always taking the brunt of everything than letting anyone else suffer. It was always what I admired her for, having the strength her father had." a ghostly grin faintly turned the edges of her lips, "Every day I see her, she reminds me of him. And it never fully came to me how she could be so natural around every one of you, being so diverse from our own kind as you are." her eyes found Solas' optics, and the two shared a short mutual respect.
Solas held himself away from coming in contact with the table, but he stayed as near as he dared, scared of leaving sight of Fera. "The feeling is mutual Sarah, I completely understand. There isn't a nanoclick that goes by that I don't find myself discovering new sides of her that I hadn't seen prior." he shuttered his optics before going on, "She is a mystery to myself and the others." they both fell into a comfortable quiet, watching the one they held dear to them as she fought for her life. Solas caught sight of the Stone of Primus, gleaming brightly against her collarbone as it hummed with energy.

That thing had caused all of this. It was that one artifact that was the source of their problems. Solas glared at it now, aggravated that such a compact thing could stir so much trouble. There was an urge in him to take it and crush it in his digits, ending the fight for it and freeing Fera from its responsibility. But then the knowing came in and he solemnly accepted that it would be irrational of him. If Fera had protected something such as this with her life, why destroy it? It must be worth saving, in spite of the fact that it was the cause of this agony in the first place.

"This is odd." Sol murmured, considering the silhouette under the sheets. Sarah darted her eyes next to her curiously. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean Solas." she stalled her hand at the base of Fera's head, crinkling the flow of golden hair under her fingertips.

"Her. Fera."

Sarah didn't take kindly to this and she gained a defensive posture, her depressed state replacing with that of anger. She burrowed her eyebrows into her eyes and gave Sol a harsh set of hazel orbs. "What about lying in a coma is strange to you? You of all people should understand how she feels." she bit, causing Sol to flinch. The time of his coma was memorable, and would be for the remainder of his life cycle. However, recalling it at this moment didn't help his feelings towards Fera's currant stasis. He almost abandoned the conversation altogether, but instead, he held his ground, keeping his optics trained on Fera for confidence.

"That is...not what I meant."

"Then what?"

"How she's laying. It is odd for me to see her lying on her back. She usually resides on her right side, with one hand tucked under head. She never sleeps on her back."

At this, Sarah's attitude began to lessen, and she relaxed back into Fera's bed as her expression unfurled. "Wow...you've...learned the way she sleeps? Why?" there was a hint of something in the way she spoke, and Solas couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. Pushing this off, he continued, "She has always slept with me in my quarters after her abduction. When I can't recharge, I listen to her." the fond memory files resurfaced, and he considered them for a split astrosecond. He eventually decided they were best saved for later, and he sent them back were they belonged.

"Listen?"

"She talks in her sleep." Sol explained, gaining the assurance to move forward and lay his arms over the berth again. Sarah didn't speak against him, so he slackened into the structure, relishing the support it offered. The human female grinned a little wider at his information and gave a short chuckle.

"She still does that? After all these years?" Sarah's eyes went to her creation's, their searching gaze waiting for a sign of the girl's awakening, "She used to do it when she was little, but mostly nursery rhymes and some Barney or Elmo songs...When her father died, she talked about him, but that faded when she reached high school." memories of the past showed in the way the female talked, and in every breath she breathed, she wafted the precious past.

"I hear her hum in her sleep. As well as names..."

"Has she said yours?"

"Once. Though it happened only recently..." disappointment hung rigidly in Solas' words, and Sarah dropped her eyes, giving a whispered "Oh". It was then that the dreaded soundlessness returned, and both the human and Cybertronian became trapped in its hold. A snaring, pulling claw reached into Solas' spark while he sat in this wandering space in his processor. There was too much room to think, too much to deliberate upon. He found his pain increasing without the distraction of speech or action, the icy spike drilling through his spark and into his core relentlessly. Without warning, his entire innards were covered with a flame of the frozen cold, sending a shiver down his spinal support.

Processes began to warp and mutate, become gruesome and graphically over-dramatic. Fera's injury was contorted to appear far more brutal than what had truly transpired, causing Solas' processor to doubt what was real and what was not. Some, she would scream unlike anything he'd heard before, her wailing sinking that knife right across the center of his essence, splitting them. Others, she would simply fall into Death's embrace, her eyes staring off uselessly as Ratchet and Cloudsong try to save an already lost patient.

The battle of his processor raged against Solas, pitting his own spark against his thoughts and letting them tare him to pieces. It was enough to make him go insane.

He felt the need to speak, to prove that this reality was indeed the one he dwelled in and he was in a semi-whole form. However, there was nothing that came to him to say. It amped his anxiety to a higher level, in turn adding to his nervousness. He hadn't realized he'd drifted until Sarah beat him to it, catching his attention with her turn.

"Why have you stayed here so long?" she inquired, giving him a genuine look of interest. Solas didn't understand what she meant, and he grew confused. Sarah noticed his pause and continued, "You could have left us in military hands long ago. We could have been living on some island far away, where we would never see you, our family, or this country ever again. But, instead, you stayed with her. We stayed here. Why?"

"Would you have better enjoyed being constricted to a single island for the remainder of your life? I understood your kind's need for a sense of security, however it appeared as though another being had to give you such a feeling for you to truly enjoy it." he leaned on his bracers, letting go of a low cycle of air, "I for one couldn't stand such loneliness. And to be encased in that one place for so long would have certainly caused me to lose my processor. I held you and your daughter's needs above my own in deciding to become her Guardian. I do not regret it."

"But it's more than that, isn't there?" she challenged, that same hint entering her voice from before. Solas didn't answer for a few clicks, uncertain himself how to respond. When he had, he felt practiced and fake.

"Fera has gone through Pit and back, the least she deserves is a friend to stay by her side in her state of injury." why did his spark deflate as he said this? Now, Solas was no longer surprised at what most things the humans would say to him over the months had become. He understood their unpredictability and why they were considered such threats to the Cybertronian enemy. They thought of things so simple and so obvious, that mechs and fembots were too advance to possibly consider. Sarah, being Fera's female creator, was one of 'those people'.

"Do you love my daughter?"

Solas' initial reaction was to choke on his air, making his vents stutter and his optics go wide. His energon pressure soared and his spark beat a few pulses faster. The rate his thoughts were swirling was disorienting him, in turn preventing him from answering right away. He opened his lip plates and closed them a few times, flabbergasted.

"Excuse me?"

"Do you love her?"

"I..."

"And I don't mean as in 'friendly love' or 'sisterly love', I mean do you truly love her in all her faults and values?"

Sarah was serious in this questioning, but Solas couldn't help but become overwhelmed by it all. He hadn't even suggested this during his times with Fera. They had always been enjoyable -well most had-. He knew when he felt her presence in his spark, he'd grown warm and content in feeling her alive and well. The times of her injury put fear and dread into his being. It was clear she meant a great deal to him than she had before, certainly for more than the Stone hanging around her neck. He was protective of her now, careful where he tread in consideration of her previous experiences in life. He took the time to understand her and allow this bond between them to comfort both himself and her in their worries. And yet, through all this, not once had that word come up into his processor.

Truly lost for a return for the wrecked mother, Solas forced out the earliest reply on his mind. "I...I don't know."

Sarah snorted, "It's a simple yes or no question."

"I don't know, Sarah. It's a simple question with a slag of a lot more meaning to it than you realize."

"And yet still so easy to answer."

Sol openly focused on the female now, taking what she said straight to the spark. He shook his helm disbelievingly, unforgiving in the way she rapidly demanded he speak his feelings on such an immense topic. "Sarah, I-"

"You've been through so much with her. From the time she first met you almost eight months ago, I thought she was finally becoming the girl I'd wished her to be. She was happier; someone who seemed to finally have moved on from her troubles and had been able to enjoy life. She found you, and no matter what you say, her happiness is more than enough for me."

"As it is for me."

A light opened in Sarah's eyes, and she looked down at her feet, her hand moving from Fera's head to lay over where her hand would be laying beneath the covers. Perhaps it was better to allow the female to make of their relationship what she pleased. It could very well help her move on."You proved that when you saved her life all those times. And I can never thank you enough. But I have a hard time believing you when you say you care for her well being. You obviously see her highly, but you refuse to acknowledge it."

"I admit I was wrong in the past for doing what I did, but now is no time for recalling such events." Sol lifted his servo as well, wanting to place it over Fera's hand, as he did in his holoform, but he restrained himself to pull back and place it by Sarah's feet. "Fera needs our support in the present, not in recollecting her past. That is for a later time."

"There can only be hope in a world of darkness'. Her words, right? She said it so many times that it became her personal motto. To think I took advantage of that..."

"We all have taken advantage of her time. We were ignorant to do so."

"Hell yeah we were." her hand came to her face and Solas saw the woman swiping away a stray drop running over her chin, "My daughter is in a coma and now I don't know if I'll ever talk to her again. I lost her father, and I don't know what I'll do if I lost her too- it's just too much..." as she broke, Solas broke. He bore witness to her inner sadness and he felt himself falling victim to it as well. What would this world be like without Fera's presence? Without her smile and her laughter and her fiery spirit?

Who would Solas become without the one human he'd sworn to protect?

"Lately, you've become her everything; her support and loyal pillar." Sarah stood and came over to touch Solas' arm, her eyes locked on his optics as she wordlessly agreed with his pain, "You're her light in this world of darkness, and I think only you could have gotten through to her as you have. No one, not even me, has broken her down so much and connected with her so deeply."

Solas trembled under the female's hands, finding her image too striking to ignore. She was everything to Fera, being her creator and lasting family. However, it was more than that. Sarah was Fera's anchor during her male creator's termination, and the grief they held together was now placed on Sarah's shoulders, landing the mother with nothing but a dwindling hope and a lost will. She was silently asking for someone, anyone, to feel the same for her daughter as she did- to share a passion toward the teen's existence as she did. She wanted his help. She needed it.

Gently, he opened his arm, bringing the ailing female close to his chassis. She didn't complain or fight him, simply curling close and letting go of her cries with occasional shakes. Her body was fatigued already, meaning this was not her beginning break down. Solas felt searing fire build inside of him whenever he heard another of Sarah's hiccuping sobs, and a sinking force against him dragged him deeper into the stark realness that was their situation. Fera was lying still, as she had the entire time, sleeping past their interaction. Could she hear them now? He hoped, for what he said next would be meant for the ears of the Keeper and her ears alone. He knew that if she was still herself, she would understand.

"There is still much for you here, my dear Fera. Don't leave us yet, we need you... I need you." a pause, "I would take insult after insult after insult if it meant you may return to us. There is no point in this war for me anymore without you, and I fear I may lose my sanity if your voice ceases to ring in my audios any longer. If it were possible to say, I believe you hold my spark in the palm of your hand, meaning my own life leaves when yours does. We are connected, bond or not, and I refuse to let you quit. Not after all we've been through. Not after all we've done." Solas took in a stale vent, his frame quivering along with Sarah's.

"We will get through this, together, even if it means I must crawl to the ends of the universe to awaken you, for I cannot rest soundly again until I have you safe in my arms and Arachnid's helm at the end of my sword."

I just...

There's no describing the weird feeling I'm getting.

There's happiness and pride there that I've actually done it, but still...

It's kinda sad :(

But, on to happier things-

Solas is one fun character to write, and I'm excited to continue with his and Fera's relationship later on :)

Speaking of,

The polls are up!

If it isn't too much trouble, I ask that each of you hop over to my profile to vote on one of the wonderful works of FanArt people have made.

Each of them deserve some credit for what they've done, and it would make my day if they could get some recognition as well :D

Once again, I thank you all,

And I hope so very much to see you again.

~Scarlet Nightmare

*Chapter Inspiration: Never Knew I Needed= Ne-Yo