Still working on how to get Kai in to the story soon!

...

Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It!

Chapter Seven

Jess's POV

I felt really happy suddenly, as I walked out of the dojo, I was just smiling. It was the best I had felt in weeks. But I knew the feeling. It would last a few days, maybe a week, then I would probably feel depressed again. The thought alone began to shade my happiness.

I had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, more specially, Mixed Bipolar Disorder, about a year after Morgan was born. It had been hard to deal with but Kai, and the thought of needing to stay strong for Morgan's sake, was what got me through those first few months.

Then it got worse.

I experienced depression episodes or mixed episodes more than I had normal days. I threw Kai in to a tailspin anytime I had a mixed episode and turned myself in to a self-hating mess whenever I had a depression episode. Somehow, I had managed to keep going for my family. No matter how many times I had convinced myself that I wanted to just let go of it all, and almost did.

I went back to Jack's house happily and walked in. "I got the job!" I said excitedly when I saw Jack and Kim sitting on the couch. Then I frowned and asked, "Where's Mo?"

"Sleeping in the guestroom," Jack told me.

"It's great that you got the job, Jessica!" Kim said with a smile, "By the way, I have some good news: there's an apartment available at the complex I live in... If you're interested."

"Mmm... How much is rent?" I asked.

"Four hundred and fifty a month," she replied, "It's a good apartment and the cheapest you're going to get around here."

"I don't know..." I started slowly, "I'd have to have furniture shipped from my house in New York..." I started mumbling something about money and soon slipped in Chinese, which I had started learning when I was about eight, a family heritage thing, and sometimes when I was upset or worried, I would slip into it. I didn't do it as often when I was teenager because I was still trying to learn the language. When I went back to China, I got more into it.

"Jess," Jack said but I ignored him, "Jess! In English please... And when did you learn Chinese?"

I took a breath and let it out slowly. "Sorry," I muttered, "And I was a teenager." I rubbed my forehead and continued, "I'm stressing my budget right now but... I need that apartment. I'll check it out tonight."

After about an hour of playing with Morgan, Kim was going to go back to her apartment, so she took me with her to check out the available apartment. I quickly took it.

Next, I had to have furniture from me and Kai's house in NYC and put an ad out to try and rent the house, every bit of extra money helped.

I went back to Jack's house, happy... Until I saw Jack standing with his arms crossed, in the living room.

"Uh... what's wrong?" I asked slowly.

"I just got a call from Lieutenant James Barker," he said and the color drained from my face.

"What did he want?" I asked quietly.

"He wanted to know how you were holding up," Jack replied, "After all, Kai has been MIA for almost two months now. Would you care to explain?"

"James is a friend of mine," I said.

"Jessica, Kai is MIA," he snapped, "You said he was missing but MIA? Why didn't you tell me?!"

I shook my head and sat on the couch. "It hurt too much," I told him quietly, choking back tears, "You wouldn't understand..."

"And just why wouldn't I?" he asked angrily.

"You don't know what it's like to have someone disappear without reason!" I yelled, "Someone you love! You don't know how worried I am, how I'm scared to wake up one day and hear that he's dead! You don't know what it feels like..."

"Well maybe I felt that way when you didn't come back from China!" he yelled back, "I didn't know why you left, you just did! Maybe I loved you! Did you ever think of that?!"

My eyes widened in shock. "You loved me?" I asked quietly.

He took a breath and sighed. "I don't know! Maybe..." he replied, "...I felt something strong, and I thought we could have a serious relationship at least for a couple of months. But then you left and it made me feel like, I did something wrong, I hurt you somehow without meaning to. Or worse, something happened to you in China... I was worried about you."

"I... didn't know you would worry so much," I stammered, "But Jack... I was only sixteen, you know how I was, how I am. I think of what's best for myself, and leaving Seaford without telling anyone... it seemed like the easiest choice. I didn't think anyone would miss me so much."

"I was your boyfriend, Jess," he said, "of course I missed you."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "But at least you have Kim now, right?"

He smiled slightly. "I love Kim more than anything," he sat next to me, "But I still care about you."

"In what way?" I asked, hoping for an answer that wouldn't hurt Kim.

"In a sisterly way," I let out a breath of relief, "I love you like a sister, Jess."

I smiled, but I knew he could see the pain in my eyes.

"I'm sorry about Kai, Jess," he told me solemnly, "I know you really love him."

"It's been really hard," I said, "But, I have Morgan, and I have you and the others... You guys make it easier. But it still hurts."

"I know," he put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a comforting squeeze, "But it'll get better. I promise."

I know this chapter was sort of, eh. But, I wanted to show Jack and Jess's relationship as more of a brother/sister thing rather than a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, ya know?

And I know! I still don't have Kai in it! I'm trying very hard! I'm sorry! Soon. I promise! It'll be soon!

Have a blessed day,
~Nydroj