In Two Worlds
(Or the full [1st part] of A Long Fall)
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In another world Hatake Sakumo returns three days before the estimated time needed, a solemn Jōnin trailing and a wounded chūnin in his arms. In that world he would have rushed immediately to the hospital and would have later met the small yet thankful family of the chūnin he'd saved. In that world he would have trusted his Jōnin teammate to report as he waited for his kohai to receive news that she, while alive, would never be able to continue her kunoichi lifestyle and in that world a Jōnin with a seal on his tongue would stand before a grim yet hesitantly hopeful war council and firmly destroy that hope as he spoke of the team leader's choice to abandon the mission.
In that world Hatake Sakumo would return home late, guilty over the failure (in both the mission and protecting his kohai enough to save her career) but overall pleased that he'd managed to return everyone alive. In that world he would return to a dark, quiet house with a covered bowl of Tendon sitting in a crude seal array that had kept it warm enough him to eat immediately and he would grin because he knew how his son hated anything fried so for the little chūnin to make something with Tempura would have been entirely for his benefit and that, that would be enough to ease any lingering guilt entirely. In that world he would eat dinner alone by candle light then quietly clean up after himself, he would take a moment on his way to his room to check on his son- he would see rumpled casual clothes that must have been put on after training and a thin wrap of bandages on the left forearm, he would hear deep breaths and soft snoring that Kakashi only allowed at home (he would also use a little chakra to let himself hear the soft yet steady thump-thump of his son's heart), he would smell the plain Inuzuka-made soap along with dried blood and know that his son was showered and that the bandage was nothing to be concerned about- before falling asleep in his uniform, smile quirking at his mouth with the knowledge that he would be scolded for it in the morning.
In that world a council would be fuming over a lost chance, a Hokage would understand the choice even as he too worried over the lost chance and a Jōnin with a seal on his tongue would be satisfied with a successful mission. In that world a man would be pleased with how his plans are moving along, a chūnin would be mourning as her family rejoiced, a father and son would share the hopes of stealing time spent together before being called away by clashing schedules.
In that world things were not perfect but that night, the vast majority would go to sleep content and happy.
But that, that was in a different world and in this world Hatake Sakumo returns two days late and when he returns he is alone. In this world he is filthy, with dried mud and blood encrusting him from top to bottom, and he is injured, a bandage wraps the majority of his right arm and if an Inuzuka is asked they can say they smell burnt flesh a few days old. In this world the only thing he has of his teammates are their headbands that his wounded arm steadily drips blood on. In this world he crosses paths with his son on his way to the Hokage's office, here he sees his son's wide eyes and he turns away to continue on his way where in that other world he would have stopped to check on his sons had they crossed paths. In this world Hatake Kakashi recoils in something akin to fearful pain at the first time his father turns away from him and he hesitates enough that his father gets lost in the crowd, here Namikaze Minato curls a hand over his student's shoulder and quietly leads the chūnin away.
In this world Hatake Sakumo stands before the war council and informs them that the mission is a success, here he places the headbands on the table as adds that the village has lost two shinobi. In this world a man grits his teeth at his plan's failure while a council rejoices, here the Hokage takes the headbands and says that their fallen will be honored before dismissing the weary legend. In this world Hatake Sakumo walks back onto the street only to face a small family that sobs and screams accusations of "How dare you let her die! You were suppose to protect her! It's your fault she died! You killed her!" until a group of Uchiha quietly herds them away, here the nearby shinobi tell him "They're wrong. She was a kunoichi, she knew how this life is. And you completed the mission so it wasn't like her death was in vain. You're a hero-".
In this world Hatake Kakashi watches from a ramen shop as his father runs away from the title 'hero' and quietly wonders why when it is the truth- all that matters is that the mission is completed, right? In this world Namikaze Minato closes his eyes when his student voices his confusion, he says "There are something more important then the mission." and he lets out a soft, bitter laugh when the child looks at him uncomprehendingly before quietly telling his student to finish his food before it gets cold.
In this world Hatake Sakumo returns home to a house brightened by the afternoon sunlight and the first thing he does is bathe, cleaning harshly as if it was a punishment and this earns him a few hairs torn out and a wound completely reopened- he hisses as soapy water stings his wound before dunking it, keeping it under until the water turns pink. In this world he dries and dresses before leaving the room, here he is faced with his son silently waiting at the table and he just stares until finally the chūnin goes over to inspect the wound. In this world he stays silent and immobile as his son methodically stitches his wound with practiced hands and he aches and when it is done he turns away from his son for the second time.
In this world he does not see the pain that crosses his son's face, does not smell the fearful confusion starting to settle itself into his son's scent, does not hear the a soft yet sharp intake of air as if from a blow (does not use chakra to hear the rapid thumpthumpthump as a young heart picks up speed) as he walks away.
In this world a council rejoices while the Hokage silently carves to more names into the memorial, here a man seethes but starts plotting anew and hatred festers in the hearts of a small family. In this world a father spends the night before a grave, shying away from the title 'hero' and embracing the name 'killer' with a guilty self-hatred. In this world a son curls up in a silent, abandoned house and wonders what it is he did wrong to cause his father to shy away from him twice. In this world a teacher sits on the stone head of his kage, thinks of his student's confusion of there being more then the mission and drinks as he curses his village for the first time.
Here in this world some will say that things are perfect this night but for the ones who don't, hatred festers alongside revulsion- fear and the night is a long one for them.