Running.
I'm running. It's the dream again.
Only this time, I know what's chasing me.
Its Moonclan cats, the ones I remembered from the battle. How I know, I'm not sure. I just know.
I'd like to think I've gotten stronger since I last had this dream, but it seems that I still tire just as easily as last time.
My legs ache, my chest on fire with every agonizing breath. I want to stop running, but I can't. This time I don't trip like the last time, but instead, my legs simply collapse under me. I try to get back up, but my legs simply won't hold me up.
They're coming. They're going to get me. I have to get back up. They're coming. Get up... Must get up...
"Hazelpaw!" A deep voice pulls me out of my sleep. I'm shaking and my eyes sting. "Hazelpaw, are you okay? I woke up cause you were shuffling around." The voice asks, and a cat crouched down next to me. Hawkpaw.
I manage to calm my racing chest enough to speak.
"Yeah... I'm uh okay. Its just, a bad dream. I'm okay." I say, still shaking a little.
"Trying to convince me, or yourself?" He asks with a small smirk. "I get it. I'll just let you go back to sleep now."
"Wait, Hawkpaw. How late- er, or early- is it?" I question.
"Still a bit from sunrise. Just sleep." He states gently.
"Okay. Are you going back to sleep?"
"Shouldn't. I've got dawn patrol. I'm gonna go eat, cause I haven't since last sun-high."
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Can I join you on dawn patrol?"
"You can ask Blackwing. He's leading it. And you should check with Snakesong. He is your mentor, after all." He says, but I can tell he's glad that I asked. I assume that the warriors chat among themselves on his patrols, and he's left to himself all the time. He doesn't talk a lot, though I suppose he must get lonely sometimes. "Thanks for joining though. I erm, don't like talking to many cats. I don't really have friends either." He says awkwardly, looking down at his big, gold paws.
"We're friends Hawkpaw. Right?" I'm not sure why, but I wish he wasn't so lonely all the time. No cat deserves that. Not him, especially. He's nice to me, I was wrong about him, I used to think he was grumpy and mean, but he's really just quiet and lonely.
"Yeah. Hazelpaw, we're friends." He smiles at me, and gets up to get out of the den. I follow, feeling warm and joyed for some reason. Is Hawkpaw making me feel like that?
Upon getting permission from Blackwing and Snakesong to join the patrol, after washing myself and sharing an older robin with Hawkpaw, the patrol sets off toward the Moonclan border.
Frostheart, Featherfoot, and Blackwing walk ahead of us, marking the borders, while Hawkpaw and I make sure that no Moonclan scents are over the border.
They mark along the riverbank, and then up the thin, worn out Thunderpath. We head back to the forest as the sun rises higher and higher. Hawkpaw and I are told to each catch four pieces of prey as quick as we can, and to come back to the camp to see what we can do to help.
Hawkpaw and I split up, he heads down, towards the river, murmuring about water voles, and I stay in the forest, thinking of birds and mice and squirrels.
It's not long after sun-high when I have caught two mice, a thrush, and a starling.
I head towards the river to check on Hawkpaw, but am distracted by a horrible wailing. I race toward the sound, and feel a sting in my hind leg.
Did I just tear open that cut? Thrushpaw will have my tail!
I arrive at a shallow part in the river, and on the sandy bank, I see Greystorm, Dipfur, and Brackenpaw crouched over something.
Oh no.
They all have scratches on them, and Brackenpaw's shoulders sag and shake, like he's sobbing. Greystorm is shaking horribly, and I can see Dipfur's eyes closed, a weary frown on his face.
"Wha-What happened!" I ask, but upon Dipfur moving aside, I see a body.
It's almost unrecognizable. A patch of orange here, white there. Blood soaking their fur. I can only guess who it is.
Blossompaw.
She's dead.
I nearly fall over, but instead slump into Brackenpaw. I wrap my tail around him as I try to wrap my head around what has happened.
"Di-Dipfur?" I ask, voice shaking as I look at him.
"A Moonclan patrol attacked her. She was exploring, and two warriors attacked her. She didn't stand any chance. We didn't hear her in time. We chased them off, but she was bleeding too much." His voice trembles, and I know he feels so terrible.
Tears escape my eyes, and I lean down my head, wishing I had known the little tortoiseshell better. To me, she was just a funny little kit that liked to play with my tail. She was made an apprentice the day before. This isn't fair. This isn't fair. She's so young. She just... this. Isn't. Fair.
"I'm so sorry Brackenpaw. I don't know what to say. This is horrible." I whisper to him. He gives no indication he heard, or even that he's alive, other than his sobs, which come from deep in his chest.
They let him mourn for a long time before he stands up, face set grimly, he takes her scruff and pulls her toward the camp. Greystorm and Dipfur help him because he's hardly bigger than she is.
I feel bad for not being able to help, but I have to collect the prey from earlier. My mouth is stuffed with a wing from each bird, and the mice between my chin, neck, and chest.
I once caught a glimpse of a huge gouge up her belly, and drop my prey to puke.
They don't stop, just keep heading to camp. Dipfur gives me a look like 'you okay' and I manage to nod between gags. I sit down, wondering how cruel the Moonclan cats who did this have to be.
I want to shred their ears and claw their bellies and see them covered in their own blood.
I shake my head roughly from that last thought, a bit shocked, a bit scared, that I could even think that. They're cats too, even if they are terrible, evil cats.
I once again get the thought 'this isn't fair' And have to force myself from sitting any longer. I'm afraid if I'm alone with my thoughts any longer, I'm going to track down those Moonclan cats and hurt them.
I bring my prey back to the camp, and upon seeing Brackenpaw, Lakepaw, Wishpaw, and Clovespot huddled in a circle, I feel even sicker.
I gulp down the smaller of the two mice, and bring the other, the thrush, and the starling to the elders den.
I retrieve mouse bile from Mistyeel, and remove a tick from Tansyfur's back. I check over Swiftshade and Longshadow, and remove a tick from the back of Longshadow's leg.
"Hazelpaw, you've been awfully quiet. Now, I may be old but I can still tell when something horrible has happened. So spill, young'n." Tansyfur rasps.
"It's Blossompaw. They, the uh Moonclan cats, two attacked and killed her." I say, my voice feeling choked up.
"Oh no. That's just horrible. She was barely more'n a kit. That isn't right." Longshadow says gently. Swiftshade shakes her tabby head, and licks her paw.
"Well, thank you for helping us out Hazelpaw, you can go now."
I nod and leave, searching out my brother's night black pelt. I find him sitting outside the apprentices' den, his eyes watchful, looking around, observing. They look nearly black in the low light. A plump bird lays at his feet.
"Nightpaw. Did you hear what happened to Blossompaw? It's terrible." I call to him when I get close. I sit down, our pelts brushing. He snorts. "Is that a yes?" I question him.
"You've been spending time with Hawkpaw, correct?" He asks coolly, his eyes just barely turning to me.
"Well, yeah, he's my friend. What's it to you?" I say, feeling a little indignant, seeing as he dodged my question, but expects me to answer his.
"I don't like him. He's quiet and weird. He talks strange. All he ever says is things that make him seem like he's smarter than everyone. He doesn't have friends Hazelpaw, because he's a freak." He sneers, laughing at some parts.
"He's quiet cause he doesn't run his mouth on stupid stuff! And he's not weird he's just different. You know what it's like to be different. He says smart things because he is smart, Nightpaw. He's smart and nice and, and, and, I like him! I'm going to be his friend whether you like it or not, cause you don't control me!" I spit back at him, and sprint away before he can say another word.
I'm angry. How dare he say those things? He doesn't know Hawkpaw, I do!
He doesn't deserve to say those things, he's just misjudging him. That's all. I guess I exploded a little bit. Its all my pent up emotions' fault, and I took it out on my brother! Now I regret saying that to Nightpaw. I do like Hawkpaw, but don't want Nightpaw to be mad at me. He's my brother, and he's practically my best friend.
I sigh grudgingly, and walk back over to the apprentices' den, feeling stupid for acting like a kit.
Nightpaw is still sitting, his long, thin tail wrapped around his paw.
"Nightpaw, I'm sorry. That was immature. But you're wrong about Hawkpaw. He's nice to me. Can you please not talk about him like that though, I mean, you don't even know him." I say gently, ignoring the smug look on Nightpaw's face.
He just shrugs his shoulders.
"You're bleeding." He says, touching my hind leg's torn cut. I look at it. Its got dark, caked blood around it, and I know I should visit Thrushpaw. I sigh, knowing I'm going to get scolded.
"Oh, uh, yeah. I'll see Thrushpaw." I wander toward the medicine den, feeling downcast.
A/N Its been nearly a month, but i couldn't get to a computer for a while after finishing the chapter!
Review!
~Kat