Premonition

.

.

Blood.

So much blood- covering the floor- covering Tōsan-

It's Tōsan's.

No.

Oh, please- please, no.

Not Tōsan- don't be dead.

Please.

I need you.

Why? Why did you kill yourself?

Am I not enough?

Are they more important to you? You left me. Do you not care? Was I not a good enough son?

Did you even love me?

No. You can't have.

You would have lived if you did- lived for me.

Their opinions wouldn't have mattered as much.

Get up.

Please.

I don't know what to do.

Get up.

I still need you.

Please.

Just.

Get.

Up-

I love you.

.

.

.

Hatake Kakashi woke up panting, tears gathering in his eyes and it took all of five seconds for him to recognize that it was a nightmare then another five to realize with rising horror that it was something entirely possible given the current circumstances.

Eleven seconds after waking he was barreling out of his room in search of his father- tears starting to fall the longer he went without finding the man- and panic surged through him as he continuously failed in his search. Going down the stairs he had to use chakra to keep himself from falling but this didn't slow him any as he ran down the hall- hitting the wall when he skidded to a stop as he turned into the kitchen.

"Kakashi-" His father started, sounding bewildered.

He was scrambling to his feet immediately and colliding into the man in a particularly tight hug, "Tōsan!"

"Kakashi, what-?" And then, as much as Kakashi didn't want to admit it, he was sobbing as his father's arms started, slowed by confusion, to reciprocate his hug.

By the time that he calmed down, he was cradled in his father's lap on the couch while the man made soft noises of reassurance. Tōsan took this as a queue, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"…you were dead. You killed yourself and I found you." He whispered the horrifying truth- ignoring the body beneath him stiffening- and then repeating, because it too terrible not to. "Tōsan, you were dead. You can't die," it was almost begging but he didn't care as he twisted to cling to his- still alive- father. "You can't leave me, Tōsan. I still need you-"

Then, partly because he hardly ever said it anymore and partly because his father needed to hear it, he said fervently, "I still love you Tōsan."

"I-…" Tōsan faltered, swallowed then continued. "Kakashi, I promise I won't leave you."