"I was concerned about you, sir." Gordon said, opening the front door.

"Sorry. I didn't think I had to let you know I was going for a walk." Perry was glad to get inside. It was rainy and cold outdoors.

Then again, it was still pretty cold inside. Perry shivered.

"Towel!" Gordon called.

"No, no, it's fine!" Perry said. "You don't have to…"

Three servants brought towels. One had a blow-dryer.

"You didn't catch cold, did you, sir?" Gordon inquired. "Do you need me to call the doctor?"

"I'm fine, I was only in the rain for two seconds." Perry took a red towel from one of the servants and dried off.

"All the same, you had better get yourself cleaned off and in bed, sir." Gordon advised. "I'll have someone run the shower for you."

"Thanks, mom." Perry said under his breath.

"Is there anything you need in the meantime, sir? A glass of water? Or some hot food? Would you like another towel?"

"Gordon, I'm FINE!" Perry snapped. "I don't need something every two seconds!"

"If your needs are not met, then I am not doing my job, sir." Gordon said.

"My needs are OVER met, Gordon. I don't need seven dishes of spaghetti when I say I'm hungry, I don't need twelve blankets when I say I'm cold, I don't need five masseuses when I say my back hurts and I don't need thirty towels when I'm wet!"

"Are you feeling stressed, sir?" Gordon said.

"DON'T say I need fifteen human domino teachers."

"Pardon, sir?"

"Nothing. Inside joke. I'm sorry. I'm just a little cranky tonight."

Gordon looked concerned. He said nothing, but Perry easily read his expression.

"I might… need some hot cocoa."

"Coming as soon as possible, General." Gordon left.

Perry hated staying up late, but signing checks for every single agent was something he wanted to get out of the way. At least he could sleep in the next morning.

He was sick of writing his name by the time he was halfway done. He wondered if anyone would notice if he signed it "Pinhead Pierre" or "Ducky Momo".

Probably.

Gordon knocked on the door.

"Busy." Perry shouted.

"Sir, terribly sorry to disturb you, but you have a call. They insisted on speaking to you."

"Stupid people. I'm cranky when I'm tired, and it's nearly midnight. Tell them I can't speak to them right now."

He heard Gordon go downstairs. A few minutes later, Gordon knocked on the door again.

"So sorry, sir. They are refusing to hang up. They sound upset. Should I tell them…?"

"Who are they? The Flittering Eagle and his sister Ellen? Or is it Peter? Did he crash a bus this time?"

"Two children."

Perry felt a fist close around his heart. He swallowed.

"Sir? Are you still awake?"

"Give me the phone." Perry said quietly.

He turned to face the wall, his hands shaking. What did they want, all of a sudden?

"Of course, sir." Gordon entered the room and handed him a phone.

"Perry?"

Perry felt his eyes water. He'd missed that voice calling his name. "What do you want?"

"Perry, we were scared." Phineas said. "We didn't know where you were."

"I took the job. Where else would I be?"

"We thought you didn't want to take it!"

"I didn't."

Phineas sounded on the verge of tears. "I didn't want you to go. I was mad at Ferb, and I turned it all on you. I didn't mean anything I said."

"You meant a lot of what you said."

"N-no!" Phineas choked. "I didn't want you to take the job! And I didn't mean anything I said about Ferb or you… I like us having a secret!"

"I thought you wanted me to go," Perry was about ready to cry himself. "So I did."

Phineas burst into tears. "I DIDN'T! I-just-want-you-to-come-hooome!"

Perry's voice wobbled. "Please don't cry."

Gordon entered, followed by several servants each carrying a box of tissues.

Perry motioned for them to leave.

"Phinny, stop. I can't understand you."

Phineas was blubbering out nonsense. All Perry could really make out were "Teddy bear" and "Triceratops".

"Phinny, let Ferb talk. I can't understand you."

"Come home." Ferb said.

Perry felt a tear come free and slide down his cheek. "I wish I could."

"Find a way." Ferb said.

"MOMMIWY! A STRANGEWLY IS TAWKING TO ME!" Paisley shouted.

"Paisley, shush." Perry said. "It's me."

Paisley squinted. "No, it's nowt. You wook stwangely."

"It's probably my glasses. I lost my contacts this morning."

"Hee hee. Daddy is a nerdie."

"I know, I know. They look stupid. But it's not like they weren't the only ones. They didn't make any cool ones for my prescription."

"Nerditty nerd." Paisley said.

Perry sighed.

"Psst!" The tablecloth said.

Perry yanked it up and kneeled down. Palmer was lying on the floor under a food table.

"You gotta help me!"

"Did you split your pants or something?"

"No." Palmer said with disgust. "You gotta help me sabotage the wedding! Before it starts!"

"Pal!" Perry hissed. "Don't you dare do ANY-"

"Distract some guests and I'll do the rest!" Palmer said.

"Palmer, I am NOT-"

"Here, say you lost your glasses." Palmer took Perry's glasses and vanished under the table.

"Palmer!" Perry whispered. "Get back here!"

He stood up and hit his head on the side of the table. Something grabbed onto his leg.

Perry tilted his head back to try and see. "Pam?"

"No, I'm Peppiwy."

"NO!" Said Paisley, who Perry could see clearly a few feet away. "That's Paiswey! I'm Peppiwy!"

"Listen, guys, can you get my glasses back from Palmer? I can't actually see that well in front of me."

"A missionie!" Paisley said. "Supew Paiswey and Supew Peppiwy to the wescue!"

"Why do you get to be fiwstily?"

"Because I maded the game up!"

"No you didn't! I maded it up!"

"Guys, please." Perry said.

He felt Peppily let go of his leg and watched them run off. Someone tapped on him.

Perry tried to distinguish the tapper's face, but it was hopeless. All he could see were smudges of teal and orange.

"Hello, Jonathan. Did I ever tell you about the time I ate a marshmallow?" Grandpa Pepper asked.

"Oh. It's you." Perry said. "Are you giving Pops away?"

"Well, it was a bright, sunny day just like this one, and there were fluffy cotton-ball clouds and green grass…"

"Pepper, you've told me this story at least eighty times. And my name is PERRY."

"Of course, Samuel."

"Daddy! I founded your gwasses! Now you can be a nerdie again!"

"Thanks." Perry took his glasses from Peppily and put them back on.

"…Well, the day was sunny." Grandpa Pepper said to a statue that was next to him. "And there were many green-grass trees and cotton-candy clouds…"

A thin platypus approached Perry and shook his hand. "Hello, I don't believe we've met."

"Gosh, Toto. Either you're as blind as I am or as senile as Grandpa Pepper."

Toto looked embarrassed. "Perry? Wow, I almost didn't recognize you."

"Yeah, I'm in a tux."

Toto smiled politely.

"And usually I wear contacts."

"That's it. I'm glad you made it."

"I see Poppy's father is here. Are your parents?"
Toto frowned. "Have you ever met my friend Loris? Of course not. He's here, if you want to meet him."

"Sorry. I didn't know that would be a 'no' question."

"It's fine." Toto said. "You really should meet Loris, though. Come on."

Toto led him over to a loris who was pigging out on cream puffs. Loris wasn't very big, but he had a lot of muscles. Every time he stabbed a cream puff, the fork just about went through the plate.

"Loris, this is Perry." Toto said. "Perry, this is Loris."
Perry held out his hand. Loris shook it. It was a miracle Perry's arm stayed intact. His hand was still tingling after Loris pulled away.

"Pleased to meet you." Loris said.

"He's the father of Poppy's children." Toto said.

Loris laughed. "Those crazy pups. They're unbelieveable."
As if on cue, a giant tractor crashed into the side of the building. Animals screamed and ran for cover.

Palmer was at the wheel.

"PALMER!" Poppy shouted from somewhere in the room. "GET OUT OF THERE!"

"Where's the brake pedal again?" Palmer asked.

"Twactor!" Paisley said happily.

"DON'T WORRY, STEPHANIE!" Grandpa Pepper shouted, pushing Paisley out of the way. "I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE GIANT RAISIN!"

It was the first marshmallow-free sentence that Perry had ever heard Grandpa Pepper speak.

Grandpa Pepper grabbed a spoon and threw it at the tractor. It bounced off harmlessly.

But the tractor stopped, finally getting stuck on one of the dessert tables.

Grandpa Pepper looked very pleased with himself.

The rest of the wedding went pretty well. Paisley and Peppily had been very happy to throw rice at the new couple. Unfortunately they used leftover Chinese food instead of dried rice.

Toto and Poppy had asked Perry to celebrate with them at a restaurant, but he had declined and went back home to the mansion.

"Sir?"

Perry looked up from his spot on the couch. He had surrounded himself with cartons of ice cream.

He paused the romantic soap opera that had been playing on the high-def TV.

"Do you have everything you need?"

"I guess."

"I'll be turning in then, sir. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything else."

Gordon started to close the door.

"Gordon?"

Gordon stopped. "Yes, sir?"

"What would happen if I wanted to quit?"

"I suppose the former General would have to return until he could find another replacement, if you neglect to. Are you sure there isn't anything I can get you?"

Yes. I want my old job back. I hate this one. And more than anything, I want to be home.

"I need some more ice cream. And don't lecture me about my diet." Perry said.

Gordon left without another word.

Perry pressed play and watched Pheobe and Alexander yell about how much they hated and loved each other.