A/N: Ownership: I don't own Glee copyrights. I have tonnes of dvd's, cd's, paraphernalia which includes my Intellectual Property of Imagination.
I'm Australian, we drive on the left side of the road and sit in the right side to drive. I write, what I know.
Recently I was asked why I write fanfiction: Here is a better answer.
This is to give people the feeling of an adventure and Travelling in life, as opposed to just existing. Glee had a poignant section, with regards to Cory Monteith passing away. They spoke of how the line between birth and death is your life. Through reading and writing, we experience great things. For those of us fortunate to have experienced more, I feel it a loving gift to share however I can.
To quote someone wonderful and smart: It's not about what's at the end of the line, but what you can achieve and experience whilst travelling along it. And whilst some lines run unfairly short, it's important to know they made the most of their line with what they could.
I Wanted this to be an independent story, for the moment I'm going to publish here under our great love of Glee. However, as my baby, please substitute the following, and change to the cast mentioned.
Kurt - Scott, played by a very young Richard Gere.
Tina - Claire, played by Scarlett Johansen. ~ Blaine - Paul, played by Andy Garcia.
Every story needs some original characters, *Harley - played by Ashton Kutcher. *Charlie - played by a very young Kevin Kline. ~ Rachel - Charlotte, played by Makyla Smith.
Sebastian - Jaxon, played by Fabrizio Filippo. ~ *Isabelle – played by Rachelle Lefevre.
Trigger Warning: Just letting you know, this chapter is pretty intense.
~ Read, enjoy ~
~ Travelling the White Line ~
Chapter Four.
Luck.
Sebastian knew, luck had nothing to do with his life.
There is nothing better than a perfect fitting jigsaw puzzle. When all pieces are put together, a picture comes alive.
That's how he felt his life was becoming. He'd worked hard for everything he had, he'd suffered at the hands of his father, when his mother abandoned them. The endless nights of drunken arguments, crockery smashing and furniture being upended.
Those days were behind him. Now, as he stood admiring his new purchase, through the shop window, he wished nothing but good fortune to his father, and wherever his mother might be.
"She's beautiful, you won't regret this." The salesman stated. Finishing up the paper work, tapping documents and putting them in covers.
He picked up the keys and escorted Sebastian to the monstrous vehicle.
Handing him the keys and paperwork, "Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of a B-double truck."
"Thank you." Sebastian said, with real appreciation. He looked the keys over, opened the driver's door and hoisted himself up. Putting the documents in the glove box, he then inserted the keys and started his little baby.
He let her idle, pulling the already secured hand-brake. He got out and joined the salesman walking around his new baby.
He thumped the wheels with his fist and kicked them. Each and every one of these he paid attention to. Even the ones on the inside. The salesman had to wonder about his sanity, but he didn't care.
Sebastian wanted a sense of intimacy with this vehicle of life. After the wheels he held his palm along her outside body, checked all the chains and tried to move the lights and indicators that he could reach. When he got to an attached ladder, he climbed up high and shook the railings. She was firm and solid.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I'm just doing what I've always wanted to. I'm doing what I didn't do, years ago."
"What's that?"
"My last truck, owned by the boss I didn't check these other extra bits. Anyhow, one day it failed."
The salesman looked down and kicked a random rock. Hands in his pockets, looking side on as Sebastian continued to get to know his new truck.
Coming back to the front he jumps in and turns it off. He climbs down and gives his mobile phone to the salesman. "Here can you take a photo of me with her please?"
The salesman takes the phone and checks how to work it.
Leaving the driver's door open, Sebastian stands near to the right of the head lights. The salesman has walked quite some distance back.
He aims the phone and takes a few shots. Coming back to Sebastian he scrolls through the photos whilst walking.
"Whoa, she's pretty impressive!"
Thinking he'd be looking at the truck photos Sebastian takes the phone and looks at them. Instead he finds a photo of his daughter.
Anger, annoyance, aggression takes over his demeanour. He clenches his fist as he looks up at the salesman. "Ever heard of the story Death of a Salesman?"
"Ahhh no!" The salesman steps back from an advancing truck owner.
"Don't go snooping in other people's things and make random comments about their daughters."
"Geez man, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" His hands held to fend off any assault and also to surrender.
"I think I'm done here."
"You just have our complimentary calendar to choose."
"I think you know what you can do with your calendar." Sebastian says very carefully, trying hard to regain control of his better disposition.
He turns his back to the salesman, breathes in and focuses on his inner core muscles. His stomach is clenched and with his hands holding the keys, he looks at them as if they were shards of glass.
Feeling he might cut himself Sebastian drops them, they fall between his feet.
He turns back to the salesman … "Listen, I'm really sorry …" Is all he manages as he looks down the long black corridor, leading to the illegal disco.
The thumping music, psychedelic lighting flashing through the thin door.
"Isabelle?" Sebastian says aloud. And he remembers, he's about to meet his daughter to celebrate his birthday. He hurries down the corridor, pushes the door open.
The air is thick with music, coloured lights blending in with the beat, bodies entwined and many jumping up and down in their own pulsating energy.
Black lighting displays coloured highlights on the bodies moving, glitter sticking to skin and waving arms, reaching high ….
His eyes searching for Isabelle on the dance floor, she's not there. He looks to the bar, she must be there and he pushes through the sea of bodies. His body soaking up the grabs at his arse, ignoring those wanting to hold him in place, he shrugs them and tries to part them with his hands.
Finally at the bar he looks at the assortment of gorgeous guyz and galz. The guy at the far end winks to him, Wrong team, he mouths back. The guy blows him a kiss and turns back to his drink. The galz are talking in to one another's ears, sipping their drinks. The taller one, with the purple dress on, giggles with her friend and points toward Sebastian. Her shorter friend, in soft pink tries to look around at him in a discreet move. Catching Sebastian's eyes on her breasts she hurries back around to the purple dressed friend. They giggle and Sebastian thinks they're young enough to be his daughters.
He signals for the bar-tender. "I'm looking for Isabelle Smythe."
"Aren't we all." Comes the reply, said so matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, but I really am."
"Who are you again?"
Sebastian figures this must be the dumbest bar-tender within cooee of this lifestyle. "I'm Sebastian Smythe."
This makes no impact for recognition. "The bosses name is Sebastian. You two have something in common." He lifts his chin and looks over Sebastian's body with approval.
"Do you know where she is?" He tries again.
Drying glasses and hanging them up, "She's back there. With one of the lads." He indicates between the restrooms, to another corridor. This one covered by a dark blue velour curtain.
"Thanks." Is all he can manage to say. Knowing his daughter is of legal age, a strong headed woman that even he wouldn't hassle if she weren't related, he steps down from the bar stool and plans to peek making sure she's okay.
His hand holds hesitantly to the curtain, he looks back around the room once more. He steps in, this equally dark black corridor has, on the ceiling, a single rope light of dark flashing blue. He carefully walks down, the floor angling gently downward too. The walk takes four steps, then meanders to the right, where the rope light changes to a dark orange.
The colour indicating the room is in use.
With hand grabbing at the heavy curtain in the next door way, he knows the occupants will know of him being there, if he should move it. As he raises his hand, the reverberating music travels toward them from the disco, the cooler air pushes down from the air vents above, he wipes his brow from the perspiration of worry, but he loves his little girl, that's why he has to check on her.
He looks up at the rope lights that follow in to the room, above the curtain, he looks forward at the heavy curtain as if his sweetheart was standing right in front, warning him not to do this. He licks his lips and pulls the top lip in. Alternating to the bottom one, he sucks in a breath and pulls the curtain back.
He pokes his head around looking to the right of the room, where the occupants would be.
The four posted wrought iron bed is moving gently, their feet visible to Sebastian. He hears Isabelle tell her partner to stop, hears her slap his shoulders.
He's certain she is listening for his approach. But he doesn't dare move further in the room.
"I'm okay Sebastian. Give me half an hour, and I'll join you at the bar." Her partner groans at the time mentioned, as well as the name of who she's speaking to.
"You know I'm just checking on your welfare?"
"I know you are Daddy."
"I'll see you up there." He says, she waits for him to leave, she counts quietly in her mind. She counted to thirty, "I'll be up soon. You can go now."
"Tell the lad he better treat you good."
Sebastian knows the lad would probably be flaccid by now, his effect being more than enough to guarantee the protection and safety of his baby girl, the only way he can right now, otherwise, Sebastian would be suffering Isabelle's wrath.
Leaving the couple be, he makes back to the bar.
The barman gives him a shot of liqueur, he throws it back and waits for it to blend in to his system. The music is hypnotic, waves from the speakers vibrate through the room, through the dancers, hits any physical barrier and travels beyond scientific reasoning.
Synthesizers wind up and down, the voice speaking of "Integration and separations". Short waved drums spark instant release and what could be conceived as a tapping pen gets louder and louder. The lights flicker alternately and mirror balls dance coloured beams with white sparks.
Eventually after a fourth shot Sebastian feels himself moving in time with the dancers and seated groovers.
He turns to watch the sea of dancers, and is lifted up by an unfaced occupant. Hands around his body, hugging him in, they grind and dance peacefully. He can't find the energy to part, a wash of desire takes over his being.
He lets himself be lead in to the throng of dancers and blends in with the coloured substances. As he raises his chin, a mouth takes possession of his neck, slow loving kisses become feverish nibbles turning in to sucking and bites. He moans as the need of physical contact grows, moving up and down and around his neck, along the top of his shirts edge.
He pulls at the other one's neck demanding more. A group of hands push his back toward the unfaced participant. The pressure of the hands pulsate from his hips up along his back to his shoulders, where they move over his biceps and lead his arms around the unfaced's body. They then hold his hips forward.
One of his hands entrenched in the hair at the back of the unfaced's head, the other sinking finger nails into it's back. Sebastian pulls his head back and demands of it's lips with his.
The music's voice chants "This is what you want, this is what you get!" Ominous sounding of fate closing in, despite all his hard efforts, Isabelle will do what she seems as correct for herself. The worry of a father are drowned out by the repetitive beat and slow realization that his head strong daughter is a by-product of himself, of his own wants and desires.
Sebastian gives in to the release the drink has given him. Isabelle has left his mind of thought, the music and lights, the heat of the room, the heat of this unfaced person, this is what over takes Sebastian's existence.
Boom, boom, da da da daaaa, cymbals gently clash, shhhh, shhhh, dong dong dong, da da daaaa, alternating with a heart beat bashing the air, the ting ting ting of expectancy. The quick beats of come, come, come what may! Come, come, come, come here. You want this, you need it, boom, boom, boom! The raw sounding voice of short words of need, desire, want, the zap of now, yes, now, yes, now, now, ting, ting!
Sebastian feels electric, on fire, sauntering left, right, again and again. His mouth is parched, hunger left his system hours ago, but not having eaten since the morning, his rationale is also absent.
Opening his eyes, as the unfaced person turns around, he looks at the wide smiles everywhere, joining him in being so happy and free. The lighting has changed to purples, darker reds interlacing with spots of blue and brilliant soothing green. The song changes to a more softer tone, swishing sounds of near water and railway carriages moving along, allowing people to move through it's carriages to the restaurant and bar.
The reds and oranges turn brighter to blends of yellow, darker shades of yellow and brighter, whiter yellow, whiter and whiter and eventually the heat of the room burns in to his mind, burns in to his parched lips. His lips that are now cracked and hurt as he tries to apply saliva from his tongue.
He raises his hand at the feel, and tastes blood dripping in his mouth. "What's wrong with me?" He asks.
A firm hand roughs his left shoulder and then his right one. He coughs from dust being thrown in his face. "What the hell!"
"Are you alright?" Asks a worried voice.
Sebastian reaches out for assistance, and is pulled from the dusty road. The salesman is crouching down with him, an arm around his back and the other with a bottle of water to his lips to drink.
He grabs the bottle roughly and washes it over himself and gulps down what's left.
Looking at the salesman, remembering him to be the enemy, but not understanding why he's worried and helping, he asks, "What happened?"
"You were talking and then you weren't. You've been out for a while. The ambulance will be here soon enough."
"How long have I been out for?"
"May be ten minutes, but you didn't stop breathing. I think you just fainted."
"Thank God for that." Surveying his position of distress, "Promise me something?"
"Okay, what could that be?"
"Let me die if I stop breathing. Don't you even think about giving me mouth to mouth."
The salesman starts laughing, soon enough Sebastian has joined him in the humour.
Hiccupping to a stop, the salesman hands Sebastian his phone back. "Here, your daughter phoned a few times. I had to answer it, I told her you'd call her back."
With eyes of alarm Sebastian takes the phone carefully from him.
"What's wrong?"
"My …." Sebastian has tears forming, knowing this could not be true. "My daughter couldn't possibly be phoning."
"Why? What? Well that was the picture that came on the screen, I thought that's who was calling."
"Did she say who she was?"
"Geez man, no. I'm sorry, I really thought that must be who was calling, she sounded young."
Leaning his back against the truck, he throws his head back hard enough to bash some hurt in to his system. "Sorry, this is bad timing for you. You thought you were just going to sell a truck today, and I've messed your day up."
"Well, it's been eventful. I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to be out of line about admiring her like that. But I know her from somewhere."
"Yes, yes you do. I'd prefer not to talk about it though. Not right now, if you don't mind."
The salesman was intrigued, but he let the issue rest. He sat and waited with Sebastian for the ambulance. They sat in silence.
Sebastian's mind was anything but silent.
Weaving in and out of memories of his dearest Isabelle.
The babysitter, five years older than him, taking advantage and getting herself pregnant. Her parents supportive, his parents mortified.
He'd helped as much as a thirteen year old could, who was about to be a father. He got a paper round, to raise money for expenses. He learned how to hold her hand and breathe through the delivery. They had the baby room set up, converting her huge closet.
He would stay over, in the guest room, when she asked, when she was insecure and needed him. He pretended to be a supportive little brother of hers, during the baby classes.
But it wasn't to last. Her parents were supportive when she died during the labour.
His mother had already left, and his father ignored the new child's plight.
Sebastian alternated his life between his home with his father, and the home of his daughter.
Eventually, when his own father abandoned him, he moved in with his daughter's grand parents.
He appeared the typical big brother, his life revolved around her and growing in to a respectable young man.
They allowed him the respect he was owed, as her father.
His employment changed as the seasons of life do. A paper round turned to delivering packages for the local chemist. As his schooling progressed so too did his availability. Night shift of stacking supermarket shelves lasted a few months.
Courier driving lasted longer, occupying most of his weekends. Fate handed him truck driving, one or two shifts a month. Sufficient to earn a good wage, and suitable that he could teach Isabelle loving things of her mother.
They were able to move closer to the bigger city, the nightlife and risk behaviours increasing as she grew older and further from his job routine.
She was on her own too often, from supervision of him or her grandparents. A single child, both him, her mother and herself, she had no other family to lean on.
But she was headstrong, smart and not known to be a reckless risk taker.
Sebastian adjusts himself as the ambulance approaches, it's siren coming louder.
Legal discos, illegal discos, safe drinking locations. None of them could save her.
When she inserted the needle, she felt a thrill through her stomach. The ice cold needle pierced her skin, in to her vein. Painful, but with the promise of delivering a high bliss.
She'd done this hundreds of times. Not always enjoying the same vigorous rush, never coming close to that very first high. The high that sucks you in, making you believe that you're invincible, that everything will be fine.
So many times she'd sit back in the arms of a friend or lover, they'd all have goofy grins, laugh at one another and admire the weirdness of where the hit would take them. The music blending to bizarre and the hair on her arms freaking her out.
This time though, the happiness was exceptional. She'd chosen a friend she'd known for a while, one that she'd known she could trust.
The sirens were echoing around the room. She raised her hands to her ears, they were too loud.
Sebastian was shaking her, tears streaming down his face. She'd never seen her father cry, never seen such anguish as he held her tight. She'd never remembered him ever slapping her, and this time he slapped her face hard.
She couldn't raise her head as she wanted. She couldn't control the floppiness she felt. She wanted to kiss him better, wipe away his tears, tell him she loved him and that he shouldn't worry so much.
Sebastian looked to the ambulance, cursing the day he'd ever introduced her to the idea of self medication.
"I can't sleep Isabelle. One tablet once in a while won't hurt me."
He couldn't find a doctor on call one fateful day. His girlfriend had some, she didn't mind sharing just this one time.
He opened the packet, that was alongside another packet. He swallowed. He woke up days later.
Days later, he awoke, having missed protecting his Isabelle.
Days where she had been exposed to the wrong crowd.
"They're just friends Daddy."
~ if anything else, learn this scenario, is … ~
Thank you: A dear sweetie who gave me a copy of his music, he plays the guitar, sings and plays other things. That's where the joined inspiration for this chapter came from. I have borrowed some lyrics from his songs. And now, should I ever be able to, I'd really like to get his music published too. It is truly divine, very much like a mix of what was in Twilight and something else ...
Thanks for reading, hope it was as lovely for you, as it was for me to write.