Chapter Five: Wrecking ball
"We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain, we jumped never asking why. We kissed, I fell under your spell, a love no one could deny. Don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you. I can't live a lie, running for my life, I will always want you..."
"What's with the incessant staring?" Mark asked as he walks sidelong Jackson.
"I am not staring" Jackson replied.
Mark chuckled; "You were staring at Kepner like you want to rip her clothes and pin her to the table"
Jackson's eyes widen and halted his steps; "Really?"
"Really"
Jackson just scrunched his face and resumed his steps.
Mark followed his prot; "I take it that you followed my advice and begged for her forgiveness?" he asked smugly.
"Err-"
"Come on now, no need to be shy" Mark cajoled.
Jackson paused again and turned to face his mentor; "Off the record?" he asked.
"Off the record"
Jackson studied Mark's face for a couple of seconds; "I told her I have feelings for her—a lot of feelings" he blurted out.
Mark's eyes widen in shock.
Jackson stared at his mentor nervously; "Do—do you think I said too much too early?" he asked.
Mark's eyes started to crinkle at the sides as a huge grin crawled up his lips; he carelessly pulled Jackson into a hug and patted his back jovially. "About time my boy, about time!" he said like a proud father.
"Err—"
Mark pulled away and beamed at the young man; "So you're a couple now?"
Jackson scratched the back of his head; "I don't know"
Mark furrowed his brows; "What do you mean you don't know?"
Jackson smiled sheepishly; "I kinda stormed off after I confessed my feelings"
"You ran like a coward?"
"I didn't run like a coward!" Jackson said indignantly.
Mark crossed his arms on top of his chest; "Then what do you call what you did?" he challenged.
Jackson opened his mouth to speak but when no words seem to come to him he snapped it close.
Mark clicked his tongue in disappointment; "Balls Avery, what did I teach you?"
Jackson grimaced; "I know—I know! It's just—this is all new to me and I'm still not sure what this feelings mean" he admitted.
Mark cocked his head to the side; "So you're telling me that you don't know what to label the feelings you have for her?" he asked.
Jackson nodded; "Exactly."
"Well—that's hard"
"I know" Jackson groaned.
Mark patted Jackson's shoulder comfortingly; "Don't rush, you have all the time in the world to sort out your feelings. Hell—it took me a plane crash and to see Lexie dying before I became 100% sure that I'm really in love with her" he said.
Jackson let out a teasing smile; "You were like a love sick puppy nipping at her heels for affection and yet you didn't know?" he asked.
"You're doing the same thing with Kepner, are you telling me you now know?" Mark retorted with his infamous smirk.
Jackson felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment; "Whatever man! Time to work" he said before walking away.
Mark let out a full belly laugh.
oOo
"It was good that Owen said that about the lawsuit" Meredith said as she walks sidelong Cristina.
Cristina stuffed her hands inside her lab coat pocket; "What, "his one big family" crap? It's very sweet unless you're me"
"It needed to be said,"
"Yeah, unless you're the deformed wife chained in the attic"
Meredith threw her best friend an exasperated look; "Well—what do you want to be to him?"
"Well I don't want to be chained in the attic-"
"Hey guys have you seen Jackson? He's not answering my texts" April said between pants.
"Why? You looking for Jackson action?" Cristina asked with a teasing smirk.
Meredith laughed.
Cristina placed her hand on her stomach as she tries to stifle her laugh; "Oh, my god. What did I tell you? 30 years as a nun and she can't get enough"
April narrowed her eyes at her friends; "So, you haven't seen him?"
"No. But we will tell him that you really, really, really need to see him" Meredith said with smile.
April rolled her eyes in annoyance before storming away.
"Bye April" Cristina called out.
"Now, try doing the sutures like I taught you" Lexie said encouragingly.
oOo
April peered inside the skills lab and threw Lexie an agitated smile; "Err—Dr. Grey, quick consult please?"
"I'll be back" Lexie said as she stood up from her perch. She slowly made her way towards April and followed her outside the room; "Hey, what do you need me for?" she asked.
"Where's your cane?" April asked as she stares at Lexie.
Lexie smiled proudly; "I visited my P.T. this morning and he told me that I can walk without my cane if I'll learn to take it easy, so I threw it away" she said.
April smiled; "That's good to hear Lex, just try to stay off your feet as often as possible" she said.
Lexie rolled her eyes; "So, what do you need?" she asked.
"Can you take my blood?" April blurted out.
Lexie scrunched her face in confusion; "What do you mean take your blood?"
"I mean draw my blood for me, I need to check something—I tried finding Jackson to do it for me but I can't seem to find him" April rambled anxiously.
Lexie studied April's face and furrowed her brows in concern; "Why are we drawing your blood? Are you sick or something? Come to think of it, you do look pale"
April let out a nervous chuckle; "Yeah—I think I caught something" she lied.
"I'll help you then but you also have to tell Jackson, what time do you want to meet?"
April threw the other surgeon a sheepish smile; "As soon as you're able?"
Lexie took a peak on her watch; "30 minutes tops, that alright?"
"Yep, thanks for doing this Lex" April said with a grateful look.
Lexie waived her hand dismissively; "Well better head back there and check on my interns, see you later" she said.
"Thank you!"
Lexie chuckled as she steps inside the skills lab again.
oOo
"I tried to warn you-"
Meredith threw her intern a stern look; "You did a lousy job. There's some abdominal tenderness so let's get a C.T and get me the results right away" she snapped.
Jo nodded and hastily walked away.
"Grey! Sloan is still in surgery he sent me here, you got a patient with a hang lac?" Jackson asked as he saunters towards Meredith.
Meredith patted his shoulder and gestured towards the patient; "Yeah—he's over there and watch your ass" she warned.
Jackson threw the patient a confused look; "What do you mean?" he asked.
Meredith smirked; "He's a little grabby and oh, April's been looking for you—I think she's needing some Jackson action-badly" she said before walking away.
Jackson furrowed his brows as he watches the other surgeon leave; "Err—where is she?" he asked.
"My patient first, loving later!"
Jackson shook his head as he walks towards the patient; "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Avery and I'll work on your hang lac" he said.
"Hi Doc" The patient said cheerfully.
Jackson smiled; he then shifted closer to the bed and leaned forward. He was about to check on the patient's condition when he felt a hand feeling up his ass.
"Daddy! Stop it! This is so embarrassing! Oh god—I'm really sorry Dr. Avery"
Jackson grimaced as he took a step back; he lifted his gaze towards the patient's daughter and threw her an appeasing look. "That's okay"
"I can't help it!" The patient yelped.
Jackson shifted his eyes towards the patient and let out a tight lipped smile; "Let's go wait for that C.T. before we work on your hang lac"
"Dr. Kepner we need you here!"
Jackson spun around and saw April running towards the E.R. doors.
April automatically leaned towards the gurney and began checking the patient; "What do we have here?" she asked.
"14 years old in a horseback riding accident, hypotensive and bleeding through his bandages" The nurse said.
"Wexler, Lewis, Trauma room now!" April barked as she began pushing the gurney.
Jackson cocked his head to the side as he watches April in action.
"She's even hotter when she's barking orders like that—bossy but very sexy"
Jackson's head snapped to the side; "I already told you that you're not allowed to think of her that way!"
Mark chuckled at Jackson's reaction; "You're always easy to rile up Avery" he said. "So, where's our patient with the hang lac?" he asked as he surveys the room.
Jackson pointed towards the bed behind them and smirked slyly; "He's right there, why don't you check him yourself, he's got something that'll interest you"
Mark rubbed his hands together; "Okay—I'll go check on him" he said. He then walked towards the bed and introduced himself to the patient; he leaned forward and began checking the patient's condition, he was about to lift the patient's gown when he felt a hand grabbing his ass.
Jackson quickly turned around to hide his laughter; he bit his bottom lip hard to prevent himself from guffawing out loud.
After a couple of seconds, Mark fell into step with Jackson and forcefully placed his arm around his student's shoulder; "You'll pay for that Avery" he said before storming out of the pit.
Jackson waited for Mark's back to disappear before laughing.
"Hey Avery, I need your help, I already have a plan" Callie said as she walks towards the Plastic Fellow.
Jackson sniffed and placed his hands around his waist; "Uh—can it wait? I'm a little busy"
"Oh well—every second, the nerve is dying a little bit more, as we stand here and argue, his nerve is dying"
Jackson opened his mouth to speak but Callie turned her back on him and began walking away; "Oh—his nerve died just a little bit more so let's go, snap snap!" she barked.
Jackson's shoulder slumped in defeat as he follows the Orthopaedic Attending.
oOo
Owen was rounding the corner when Richard saw him; he hastily made a bee line towards the Chief of surgery and fell into step with him. "Nice speech this morning. Very—once more unto the breach, dear friends" he complimented.
Owen threw Richard a confused look, not understanding what the older surgeon is saying.
"Shakespeare, you know, Henry V" Richard explained.
"Oh"
"I mean the point is you're handling all this well"
Owen smiled; "Thanks, you need something?"
Richard shook his head; "Just checking in, you—you alright with this meeting?" he asked with concern.
Owen stopped right in front of the conference room; "Yeah—I'm just telling them what happened, why?"
Richard stood right in front of Owen and placed his hands on his hips; "Oh for no reason, it's just, you know, a lawsuit like this reminds a hospital that it's a business—the angles change pretty quickly so don't let them back you in a corner" he advised.
Owen nodded; "I should be fine" he re-assured.
Richard smiled; "Of course, of course. Look, you know what you're doing—just ignore me" he said before walking away.
Owen watched Richard walk away before entering the conference room; he walked towards the table and pulled a chair.
"Dr. Hunt as I'm sure you are aware, members of your staff have now lodge an official complaint with intent to sue Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital" The lawyer said.
Owen nodded; "I am."
"So today is just a preliminary interview to prepare the hospital's case" The lawyer said.
The other lawyer pushed a piece of paper towards Owen; "This is a confidentiality agreement, you can look it over, it just says that—"
"You should make note that it specifically mentions your wife Dr. Cristina Yang as one of the plaintiffs in the case" The other lawyer said, cutting off his colleague.
Owen signed on the paper and pushed it back towards the lawyer; "Yeah, I saw that."
"So we understand that this is an unusual situation for you and a clear conflict of interest for the hospital"
"Don't worry, whatever we say here will stay here" Owen said.
"Great, no awkward conversations around the dinner table."
"Okay so let's start-"
oOo
"Can you take over the ultrasound? He's got abdominal tenderness and I need to get control of this bleeding, I think he may have lacerated his femoral vein" April said while tending to the patient's wounds.
"My sneakers" The patient croaked.
Alex furrowed his brows; "What's that?" he asked.
"Don't lose my sneakers, they're 200 bucks"
April lifted the patient's leg and began bandaging it tightly; "That's why his leg slipped through the stirrup, you have to wear a shoe with a heel when you ride a horse" she said pointedly.
Alex moved the transducer on the patient's abdomen; "Kid spends 200 bucks on sneakers, he's obviously not the king of awesome choices" he paused and stared at the monitor closely; "All right, there's possible blood on the upper left quadrant"
"Great. Let's just get him up to C.T"
Alex wiped the gel off the patient's stomach; "Hold on, let's wait for Robbins"
April snipped the bandage and stared at Alex; "Uh—are you kidding me?"
Alex pulled the side railings and met April's eyes; "She's on her way"
April tugged the other side railing; "He just got dragged 20 yards by a horse"
Alex braised his hands on the railings; "He's totally stable, look, it's her first day back" he explained.
"He did a stupid thing, I'm not gonna let it ruin his life" April retorted. She then shifted her gaze to her staff; "Let's move this gurney, right now!" she snapped.
Alex rolled his eyes before following April's instructions.
oOo
"Really? A supply closet?" Lexie asked, clearly aghast.
April hopped off of her perch and smiled sheepishly; "I can't think of anywhere else" she replied.
Lexie walked towards the antsy red head and stood beside her; "Give me"
April handed her the syringe and tourniquet; she shifted closer to Lexie and lifted the sleeve of her scrub top up.
Lexie wrapped the rubber band on April's arm and tapped it a couple of times, waiting for a vein to pop. Once she saw it, she hastily connected the IV line to a test tube and inserted the needle into April's vein.
April gasped.
Lexie lifted her gaze and studied her friend's face; "Sorry—I'm a little rusty"
April smiled wearily; "It's okay Lex, thank you for doing this for me" she said.
Lexie straightened the IV line and waited for the blood to drip; "Have you told Jackson yet?" she asked.
April averted her gaze; "Err—I haven't seen him yet" she replied.
Lexie raised her brow, clearly not believing April. She was about to open her mouth to question her further but the door to the supply closet was yanked open unceremoniously.
"What the hell Kepner? Our surgery's about to start" Alex said. He then paused when he saw what the two surgeon's are up to. "What are you guys doing?"
"I'm anemic, I just need to have it checked" April replied hastily.
Alex narrowed his eyes sceptically at the Trauma surgeon.
Lexie lifted the tube and saw that it's half full; "This good?" she asked while lifting it for April to see.
"Yeah—that's enough. Thanks Lex, can you help me take this thing of?"
"Sure" Lexie replied. She hastily tugged on the tourniquet and gently pulling the needle of, pressing a cotton ball to stop the bleeding.
April turned his gaze towards Alex; "Go on, I'll follow you, we're just finished here" she said.
Alex leaned on the doorframe; "I'll just wait for you" he said while crossing his arms on top of his chest.
April let out a defeated sigh before turning to Lexie; she plucked the test tube from her friend's hand and smiled gratefully. "I'll just drop this off to the lab, thank you Lex, you're an angel" she said.
"Are you sure? I can like drop it off for you, looks like Alex needs you" Lexie offered.
April shook her head; "No, it's alright. I can handle this" she said. She then gestured towards the materials they used and grimaced; "Can you?"
Lexie waived her hand dismissively; "Go, I'll throw this out" she said.
"Thank you!" April said. She hastily slipped the tube inside her lab coat pocket and walked towards Alex; "Let's go" she said.
"Err—you're bleeding on your coat Kepner" Alex said while pointing towards her arm.
"Oh—it's okay, I'll live" April said before storming out of the supply closet.
Alex turned towards Lexie; "She's acting weirder than the usual, what's wrong with her?" he asked.
Lexie shrugged her shoulders; "I don't know but can you at least put a plaster on her arm? You don't want her bleeding over your patient" she said.
Alex sighed; "Yeah, I can do that. See you later Lex" he said before closing the door behind him.
Lexie began gathering the supplies they used when the door was yanked open again; she spun around and saw her fiancé standing by the door. "Hey"
Mark's eyes dropped to the supplies in Lexie's hand; he crossed his arms on top of his chest and narrowed his eyes. "Are you practicing on yourself again?"
"Huh?" Lexie asked confusedly.
Mark gestured towards the bloodied IV lines.
"Oh. They're not mine, I helped April draw blood" Lexie explained.
"Why is Kepner drawing blood?"
Lexie bundled the supplies in her hand and began walking towards Mark; "She's anemic?" she said.
"Anemic?"
"Yeah"
Mark pulled the supplies away from Lexie's hand before wrapping his arm around her shoulders; "I didn't know that Kepner is anaemic" he said.
"Me too," Lexie replied.
oOo
"Dr. Kepner?" Arizona said.
"This P.D.S. suture isn't holding and I can't get hemostasis. Horseback riding is supposed to be fun but even if you wear the right shoes and helmet and everything, protection doesn't always work, so you know what? What's the point? You might as well ride bareback" April said.
"Dr. Kepner" Arizona said again.
April lifted her eyes from the patient and turned towards the Ped's Attending; "What?" she asked.
"There's a large blood stain on your sleeve, is that from the patient?" Arizona asked.
April shifted her gaze towards her arm and saw blood seeping through her surgical gown, the exact spot where she had her blood drawn; "Crap!" she said. She hastily stepped away from the patient and placed her instruments on the tray; "I'll be back, just give me a second" she said.
"Clean up and then come back, take your time" Arizona said kindly.
April nodded before spinning on her heels and stepping out of the O.R.
Alex shook his head as he took over the stitches.
"Did Kepner get hurt?" Arizona asked with furrowed brows.
"She had her blood drawn by Lexie and I think she nicked a large vein. I offered to patch her up but she adamantly refused and said it was okay" Alex explained.
"Well it doesn't look like its okay" Arizona said.
Alex snorted; "You know how Kepner can get crazy sometimes" he replied.
Arizona shook her head.
April stormed out of the scrub room and made a bee line towards the elevator; she irritably mumbled to herself as she checked the sleeve of her scrub top.
"April?"
April's head snapped to the side and saw Jackson walking towards her; "Hey Jackson"
Jackson stood right in front of her and grinned; "Do you want to grab—" he paused when he noticed her blood stained arm. His smile instantly vanished as he took a step closer to the red head; "Is that your blood?" he asked with furrowed brows.
April grimaced before taking a step back; "Err—yeah"
Jackson's eyes widen; he instantly placed his hands on April's arm and began checking her frantically. "Are you hurt? Where? What happened? Are you okay?"
"I'm okay—stop it" April said with a faint smile.
"Why are you bleeding then?" Jackson asked adamantly.
April sighed; "I asked Lexie to draw my blood for me and I guess she nicked a large vein but I'm fine. I just need to have it plastered and change into new scrubs, Alex and Arizona are waiting for me" she explained weakly.
"Why did you have your blood drawn?"
April swallowed hard; "I-I think I'm anaemic—so I had to check"
Jackson raised his brow, clearly not believing April's reason. "Do you want me to patch it up for you? I'm a free agent" he said.
"That will be great, thank you"
Jackson tugged on her other arm and began steering her towards the other direction.
April followed silently; "You have to tell him you know—he might be a father soon" she thought to herself.
oOo
"How did you know?" Owen asked as he stood by the door frame.
Richard turned around; "11 years in your job?"
Owen huffed; "You want it back?"
"No" Richard said while taking off his glasses. "You know, they're always looking for an escape goat—someone they can lay on the blame on and then set them adrift, that's what happened?" he asked while crossing his arms on top of his chest.
Owen furrowed his brows in confusion; "No, the board—they have my back completely."
"That's great"
"Yeah-" Owen paused while in thought. He then placed his hand on his hip; "Why wouldn't they just—fire me?"
Richard shrugged his shoulder; "I don't know" he then paused and his eyes widen; "Oh."
"What?"
"You're married to someone on the other side, they seem unhappy about that?" Richard said pensively.
Owens' breath caught in his throat as realization dawned on him; "Richard, thank you" he said before storming out of the room.
oOo
"We both know Shepherd's just gonna shoot this idea down" Jackson said while rolling his eyes.
Callie scowled; "You're being really helpful"
Jackson slumped back on his chair; "I'm sorry Torres—it's just that, we've been wracking our heads for ideas and every time we come up with a new one, Shepherd shoots it down. I still think the nerve graft is the best solution to have his hand working at a 100% but he just won't listen"
Callie let out a defeated sigh; "I know, that's also what I think" she said glumly.
"You have to make him listen then, you are the Orthopaedic surgeon here, you shouldn't let him back you in the corner and tell you what you can or what you can't do"
Callie stared at Jackson for a couple of minutes before a smile formed on her lips; "You are right Avery—you are brilliant!"
Jackson smiled back; "I know right?"
"He's brilliant and he's mine, Avery stand up!"
Jackson and Callie both turned towards the door.
Mark smirked as he leans on the doorframe.
"Let me guess, you're here to get you most priced prot?" Callie asked.
"He's been under your service almost the entire day, I want him back" Mark said.
Jackson rolled his eyes; "I'm still here you know" he said.
Callie chuckled; "Well you can have him back" she said. She then shifted her eyes back to Jackson; "I'll finalize our game plan then we'll be presenting it tomorrow, be ready to tackle him if worst comes to worse"
Jackson stood up from his perch and grinned at Callie widely; "You got it" he said.
Mark narrowed his eyes and gestured towards the space between his best friend and his prot; "I don't like this at all—he's mine Torres!" he said petulantly.
Jackson rolled his eyes again before he walked towards Mark; he lightly shoves him off the doorframe so the older surgeon would start walking. "Cut it out man, you're talking like I'm yours or something, it's creepy!" he complained.
Mark grinned when he heard Callie laughing behind them; "We're the Plastic Posses, I can't have you taking interest with other specialties" he quipped.
Jackson snorted; "You are aware that I'm already starting my Fellowship under you right?"
Mark paused; "Yeah, that's right" he said.
"The accident really addled your brain a bit" Jackson murmured.
Mark ignored Jackson's comment and continued chattering; "So is Kepner anaemic?" he asked curiously.
"I'm sorry—what?"
"Kepner's lab results, Lexie drew her blood this afternoon for screening" Mark said.
April's bloodied arm suddenly came into Jackson's mind, making him snigger.
"What's funny?"
"Lexie nicked a large vein when he pulled the needle out, April's arm bled a little during her surgery so Arizona sent her out to freshen up."
Mark whistled; "Kepner must be pissed"
Jackson nodded; "She was pissed but not with Lexie" he said. He then furrowed his brows and halted his steps; "Come to think of it, she's acting a little weirder than the usual" he said.
"Kepner has always been weird?" Mark said.
Jackson threw Mark a warning look.
Mark raised both hands in surrender.
oOo
April was washing her hands when Alex stepped inside the scrub room; "You're arm okay?" he asked.
April snatched a towel from above the sink and threw Alex a smile; "Yep" she replied.
Alex stood right in front of the sink and began washing his hands; "So—did you get your lab results?" he asked.
"Nope—our surgery went longer than expected, I'm about to go there, actually" April said.
Alex peered through the O.R. window to check the clock; "You better hurry if you want to catch them still open" he said.
April followed Alex's gaze and her eyes widen; "You're right!" she said. She hastily dumped her towel on the bin and run towards the door; "See you later Alex!"
Alex shook his head; "Weirder than the usual" he said to himself.
oOo
Jackson pulled on his jacket before grabbing his bag from his locker; he plucked his phone from his pocket and began checking it for messages.
"You going home?" Alex asked as he leans on the doorframe.
Jackson tore his eyes away from the device; "Yeah" he replied. He then paused and stared at the other surgeon; "Have you seen April? You had surgery with her and Robbins right?"
"Yeah—she just went to get her lab results" Alex replied. He then crossed his arms on top of his chest and smirked widely; "Speaking of lab results, did you knock her up?"
Jackson stiffened when he felt the wind got knocked out of his chest; "W—what do you mean?"
Alex cocked his head to the side; "Well—I caught her and Lexie drawing blood and she's acting a little bit crazy than the usual" he explained.
Jackson furrowed his brows as he tightened his hold on his phone; "She's checking for anemia Karev" he replied.
"Really Avery? We've been living with her for months and we both know that Kepner is healthy as a bee and she just donated blood last week, if she's anaemic do you think she'll be allowed to donate blood? Use your head man" Alex said before turning around and walking away.
Jackson felt blood leave his face as his heart drop down to his stomach.
oOo
"Elevated HCG-" April felt her chin wobble as she read her results. Tears started pooling her eyes as realization dawned on her. She's pregnant and it's out of wedlock, her parents are going to kill her and she hasn't told the father yet. Oh god, Jackson—what will he do? She buried her face into her palms as a sob escaped her lips; her shoulder started to shake as she felt the ground under her crumble right before her eyes.
"April?"
April felt her heart stop upon hearing the familiar voice; she hastily stuffed the lab results inside her pockets and tried her best to wipe her tears. She swallowed the lump inside her throat and turned her head to the side. "Hey Jackson"
Jackson walked towards the bench and sat down; he studied April's face and furrowed his brows. "Were you crying?" he asked.
April smiled wearily; "O—of course not" she lied.
Jackson eyed his best friend for a couple of seconds; "Is there something you want to tell me?"
April felt her whole stiffen in fear; "What do you mean?"
Jackson took a deep breath, deciding to bite the bullet and just ask her directly. "Are you pregnant?"
April's eyes widen in shock; she felt blood leave her face as her hands started shaking.
Jackson noticed how the colour left April's face, a dead giveaway-confirming Karev's conclusion; he felt his heart drop to his stomach as and a heavy weight shifted inside his chest.
April's chin began to wobble as a gasp escaped her lips; she buried her face into her palms to muffle the cries that she's trying her best to hold back.
Jackson was startled out of his own thoughts when he heard April's weeping beside him; he hastily shifted closer to the red head and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Hey-hey-calm down" he whispered.
April's cries intensified upon hearing his words.
Jackson pulled April to his chest and hugged her tightly; "Everything's gonna be okay-we will be okay" he soothed.
April pulled her hands away from her face and buried her face into the crook of Jackson's neck; "I'm sorry-I'm really sorry" she whimpered.
Jackson began rubbing April's back; "Don't apologize—it's not your fault"
"I should've been more careful-I was so stupid"
"Shhhh...you are not stupid-not at all" Jackson whispered.
April snaked her arms Jackson's waist and hugged him tightly; "I'm sorry..."
Jackson buried his face into his curls and he let out a defeated sigh.
oOo
"Dr. Hunt you're back" The board member said.
Owen furrowed his brows as he stood right in front of the table; "Yeah-question, my conflict of interest doesn't seem to concern you much"
The lawyer turned towards Owen; "Like what we've said, your situation is unusual-"
"What about my wife's conflict of interest? She's married to me too" Owen said cutting off the other man.
"Well, that-that's-" The board member began explaining.
"I booked that plane and my wife could benefit financially from my negligence, you're hoping that because I'm married to Cristina, the judge will throw this whole case out."
"Who, Dr. Hunt, let's not over think this, the board supports you 100-"
"Let me just remind you that the confidentiality agreement that you signed is punishable by termination and financial penalties" The lawyer interjected.
Owen stared at the lawyer for a moment before nodding his head; "I understand, have a good night" he said before storming out of the conference room.
Jackson opened the door to his room and closed it behind him; he tiredly walked towards his bed and plopped down. He's still reeling from what just happened an hour ago and he still cannot let everything sink in; he's gonna be father and his mom will murder him for impregnating April out of wedlock. "Fuck, fuck fuck!" he cursed. He closed his eyes and began rubbing his face with his palms furiously; "What have you gotten yourself into? What the hell are you supposed to do now?" he huffed out.
"I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls, all you ever did was wreck me. I came in like a wrecking ball, I just closed my eyes and swung, left me crashing in a blazing fall, all you ever did was wreck me..."
April woke up with the sun streaming down her face; she groggily rubbed her eyes and tries her best to sit down. She pulled her knees to her chest and braised her arms on top of it; she hid her face into the crook of her arms as she recalls what happened last night.
Flashback:
Jackson pulled away from April and gently cupped her face, tilting it towards him; "Look at me" he said.
April sniffed and met Jackson's eyes.
"I know that it's not what you planned or how you planned it but we can do this, you and me. We'll-we'll get married—we'll have an awesome kid, be amazing parents—I'm in this with you, we'll do this together" Jackson said seriously.
"Don't say that if you don't mean it-"
"I mean it April, we can do this" Jackson said, cutting April off.
"You—you really think that?" April asked shakily.
Jackson gazed into April's eyes intensely; "You said it yourself, something that feels this good, cannot be bad."
April felt her chin wobble as overwhelming emotion surge into her chest; "You really want this?"
Jackson smiled; "I want this, we get married, we'll move into our own house with a big yard"
"And we have a wedding?"
Jackson wiped the tears from April's cheeks; "We have a huge freaking wedding" he affirmed.
April smiled between tears; "In a field with butterflies? I don't know-"
"Butterflies—a field, whatever you want. Your family's gonna be there, my family—I mean, my crazy mom's gonna be there—she'll probably bring Webber, whatever—that's fine" Jackson rambled.
April placed her hands to Jackson's face and cupped his cheeks; she pulled his face to hers and kissed him passionately.
Jackson wrapped his arms around April and pulled her closer, returning her kisses in the same intensity.
April slowly pulled away and stared at Jackson seriously; "Are we really? Are you sure we can do this?"
Jackson nodded; "We can do this—I'm all in" he said firmly.
April let out a bright smile before pulling Jackson's face again and began kissing him between happy giggles.
End of Flashback
"You alright?"
April shifted her face away from her arms but kept her original position; "Yeah"
Alex pushed the door wider and leaned on the doorframe; "Are you coming in today? You look kinda pale" he said.
"I have to, I'm handling the pit today" April replied.
"If you're really not feeling well then just call Hunt and tell him you're not coming in"
April sighed; she then let her legs fall back on the bed before crawling towards the edge. She lazily planted her feet on the floor and hauled herself up; "It's okay—I don't want to add up to his worries" she said.
Alex shook his head as he turns around; "Stubborn" he mumbled while walking away.
"I heard that Alex!" April said.
"I intended for you too" Alex retorted.
April let out a small smile as she snatches her towel from the hanger; she then walked towards her door and stepped into the hallway. Her eyes instantly landed on Jackson's door and felt butterflies flutter inside her stomach; speaking of stomach, she shifted her eyes to her belly and bit her lip with apprehension.
"Avery already left-he got paged by Sloan" Alex said.
"Oh"
Alex gestured towards the bathroom; "Take a bath, I'll ride with you to the hospital"
April stared at Alex confusedly; "Err—why?" she asked.
Alex crossed his arms on top his chest; "I won't let you drive alone to the hospital—you look sick" he said pointedly. He then narrowed his eyes; "Get your ass in the shower now so we can go" he barked.
April hurriedly walked towards the bathroom; "Geez! I'm going, no need to shout at me like an intern"
Alex laughed.
oOo
Jackson was scrubbing out from surgery when Mark joined him; the older surgeon stepped right in front of the sink and began running his hands under water. "You seem distracted, are you okay?
Jackson shook off the excess water from his hands and snatched a towel above the sink; "Yeah—I'm good" he replied.
Mark threw Jackson a side glance; "You know you can tell me anything and it will be off the record if it needs to be" he said cautiously.
Jackson paused and braised his hands on the sink; he closed his eyes as he grasped the sink tightly. "April is pregnant" he mumbled.
Mark furrowed his brows; "I didn't get that, you have to speak clearly."
Jackson opened his eyes and turned his gaze towards Mark, meeting his eyes straight; "April is pregnant, I'm gonna be a father" he said clearly.
Mark's eyes widen in shock.
Jackson let out a deep breath before averting his eyes again; "I got her pregnant and I told her that I'll marry her" he added quietly.
Mark cleared his throat as he shook his head to clear his thoughts; "I-I don't know what to say—congratulations?"
Jackson smiled wearily; "Yeah man, thanks"
Mark snatched a towel and began drying his hands; once his satisfied that it's dry, he hastily discarded it in the bin and placed his hands on his hips. "Okay—you're gonna be a father and a husband sooner than expected. You offered to marry her which is an awesome gesture coming from you but why do you look so glum? What's really going on?"
Jackson placed his hands on his hips as he began pacing like a caged animal; "I—I just feel like everything is moving too fast—I mean, I haven't figured out what I really feel about her and now she's carrying my kid and I have to marry her—hell, I don't even know if I want one!" he said, clearly in panic.
"If I understand you right-you only offered to marry her because as of the moment that's the most honourable thing to do?"
Jackson paused and let out a frustrated sigh; "I—I think so...I don't know"
Mark stared at Jackson pensively for a moment; "Do you want to hear what I think?"
"Yeah sure, shoot"
"Marriage is not the solution to your predicament—you shouldn't marry April just because you got her pregnant."
Jackson stared at his mentor indignantly; "But that's the right thing to do—I can't let my own kid grow up without a father, I know how that felt and it sucks" he retorted.
Mark rolled his eyes; "You will always be the kid's father, no one can that away from you. Take me and Callie as an example—we have a kid together, I'm Sophia's full time father but I'm not her mother's husband and to top that off, we're all happy and it's working" he explained.
Jackson pursed his lips as he thinks about what Mark said.
"All I'm saying is that Kepner deserves a man who will put a ring on her finger because that man loves her and can't live a life a without her—you deserve the same. If you feel that she's your it then by all means marry her but if you're not sure about what you feel and you're just doing it for the sake of the baby then I suggest that you wait or not go through it at all."
Jackson shifted closer to the sink and leaned on it; "What have I gotten myself into"
Mark patted Jackson's shoulder comfortingly; "Thing doesn't always work out like what we've planned and when that happens we just have to take it as it comes."
April placed her hand on her stomach as she staggers back from the O.R. door; she felt her throat constrict as inexplicable feeling settled inside her chest. Jackson was only offering marriage because it was the right thing to do and not because he actually wants to marry her. Well, to be fair—she's also not sure if she wants to marry him yet because it's too early and they're at the peak of their career but still, hearing him say it out loud didn't hurt any less. She took another step back and tried to swallow the bitter taste in her mouth; "You will not cry about this Kepner, you will not cry" she hissed to herself when she felt her eyes heating.
"APRIL!"
April quickly pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes before turning to her side; "Hey Mer, what's up?" she asked perkily.
Meredith stopped right in front of April and cocked her head to the side; she furrowed her brows and studied her face. "Are you alright?"
April manages to smile, albeit sadly; "Of course—just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I think" she lied.
Meredith threw her friend a sceptical look before pulling out a piece of paper from her pocket and wiggling it; "I just came from the lab, they paged me because they accidentally interchanged our results—err—my patient's results" she paused and wiggled the paper again, "This one is yours."
April furrowed her brows in confusion; "But-but that can't be right because I labelled mi—my patient's blood work as Jane Doe and the results they gave me last night is for Jane Doe" she explained.
"My patient's name is labelled as Jane Doe too—they caught the mishap because they labelled the test tubes and results with coloured ink. My Jane Doe is printed in grey ink and your Jane is printed in black, this one is black—meaning this is yours" Meredith explained.
April felt the air got knocked out of her chest; "I-I thought that they only ran out of black ink that's why mine was printed in grey" she said.
Meredith chuckled nervously; "So-where's the results?" she asked.
April swallowed hard before gesturing towards the paper that Meredith was holding; "May I?" she asked.
Meredith handed the paper to April; "Here you go" she replied.
April accepted the paper with shaky hands; she stared at the folded paper before stuffing it inside her pocket. "Your patient's result is in my locker in the Attendings' Lounge—we can get it now" she said.
Meredith smiled; "Let's go then, no time to waste" she said before spinning on her heels and walking away.
April experimentally moved her wobbling legs and let out a sigh of relief when she didn't topple over; she was about to walk away when the O.R. doors burst open, admitting Mark out. "Kepner?"
April smiled shakily at the Plastics Attending; "Dr. Sloan"
"Are you alright? You look pale—are you looking for Avery?" Mark asked while staring at the red head with concern.
April shook her head; "No I'm not—err—I have to go" she said before running towards the direction that Meredith disappeared to.
"Stop running and slow down!" Mark yelled.
"Who are you talking to?" Jackson asked as he steps out of the O.R.
Mark turned his head sideways; "Baby momma" he replied.
Jackson threw Mark a confused look; "Huh?"
Mark rolled his eyes; "Kepner—she was just here" he replied.
"Where did she go? Was she looking for me?" Jackson asked.
"She ran away even before I get to ask her but you go check on her, she looks really pale" Mark said.
Jackson felt his body stiffen; "Do you think she heard us?"
Mark's eyes widen; "I don't know" he replied.
Jackson swore loudly.
"I put you high up in the sky and now you're not coming down. It slowly turned, you let me burn and now we're ashes on the ground. Don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you. I can't live a lie, running for my life, I will always want you..."
"Here you go" April said as she handed Meredith a slightly crumpled paper. "I'm sorry if its bit crumpled—I kinda stuffed it inside my locker last night"
"It's alright" Meredith said. She then opened the paper and smiled when she saw the grey ink; she turned it towards April and pointed the writing; "See? The ink is color grey" she said.
"You're right" April said.
Meredith pulled the paper away and folded it; "Well, I better head out and have this delivered to my patient, you should too" she said before sauntering away.
April robotically walked towards the couch and sat down; she pulled the folded result from her pocket and placed it on her lap. She bit her bottom lip hard as she stares at the piece of paper; she placed her hands on her flat tummy and felt a pang in her chest. "I don't know how to feel about this, if I ended up having you—your daddy will just feel obligated to marry me and I don't think I'd want that. Do you think you and I can get through on our own? I don't think it'll be easy but we'll try—I'll try my hardest, just you and me" she whispered to herself. She kept her hands on her stomach but shifted her gaze to the paper on her lap; "If this paper says that you're not there, can I still go back to the way we were? Would I still want to keep seeing him after what I heard? He obviously doesn't know how to label his feelings for me, how can that work?" she asked herself again. She then pulled her hands away from her stomach and clutched the paper with her hands; "You have to stop talking to yourself like this, you sound crazy. Now, just get this over with so you know what to do, suck it up Kepner!"
"You're talking to yourself again"
April's head snapped up and saw Jackson standing by the door; "How long have you been there?" she asked.
"Long enough to hear you chastise yourself" Jackson replied. He then walked towards April and stood right in front of her; "Sloan said he caught you outside the O.R. door looking pale, were you looking for me?" he asked cautiously.
April felt a pinch inside her chest but she pushed it away; she swallowed hard and shook her head. "No I'm not—I was just passing by when he saw me" she lied.
Jackson studied April's face and furrowed his eyes; "Are you sure?" he asked.
"I'm sure" April replied. She then licked her lips and lifted the paper she's holding; "There—there has been an error with the lab results, Meredith's patient and my results got accidentally switched" she said softly.
Jackson's eyes widen; "Have you checked the results yet?" he asked.
"I'm about to"
Jackson moved towards the couch and sat down beside April; he angled himself so the he's facing the red head. "Go on"
April threw Jackson an indiscernible look; "Here we go"
Jackson noticed it but decided to ignore it; he scratched the back of his head and just focused his attention on the paper that will change their life-possibly forever.
April took a deep calming breath before opening up the result; she bit her bottom lip as she scan through it. "Not pregnant"
Jackson's face relaxed as he felt the heavy weight lifted from his chest but not without a pang of disappointment.
April saw Jackson's relieved look so she decided to put on a happy face like what she thought he would have wanted-he didn't want the kid and he doesn't need to marry her anymore; "Oh god, thank you Jesus! Now we don't have to get married" she said with a fake smile.
Jackson's head slowly turned towards April and saw her reaction; he felt a strange pinching feeling inside his chest but his ego is taking most of the brunt.
"We're free-we just-we just dodge a bullet, like the biggest bullet ever" April continued. She then lifted her gaze to the ceiling for effect; "Thank you, thank you, God. Thank you, thank you!"
Jackson averted his gaze and gritted his teeth.
April let out a sigh before turning her gaze back to her best friend; she immediately noticed the look on his face and realized that she managed to offend him. She mentally swore and tried to rectify her blunder by back pedalling; "No, Jackson, no, I didn't mean-just, you know, now things don't have to- we could stay dating if that's what you want-"
"It's cool. Seriously, don't bother" Jackson said, cutting her off.
April heard alarm bells ringing loudly in her ears; he's still sporting the look that indicates he was indeed hurt—big time. "What? Jackson-"
"Maybe this was a sign, you know? That we needed to stop? Honestly, I think it's for the best."
April felt like she's been slapped so she averted her eyes quickly; "Okay, I-I mean, if that's what-"
"It is" Jackson interjected firmly.
April nodded and stood up from her perch; "I gotta go back to the pit, Hunt needs me there" she rasped out.
"Okay"
April bit her bottom lip hard to keep her emotions at bay as she walks towards the door; once she reached it, she pulled it open before turning her head back to Jackson. "Just for the record-I would have wanted to have what you've offered me when we thought I was pregnant-the wedding, the butterflies—but-but never in the expense of your happiness" she paused to clear the lump that's lodged in her throat. "You are my best friend Jackson and I wouldn't have let you nor obligate you to marry me just for the sake of the baby. Mark is right, you deserve more than that and I do too, thank you for offering though—you were right it was the honourable thing to do at the moment and I appreciate the gesture none the less, I-I just thought you should know" she said with a sad smile. "I'll see you later" she added before finally stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her gently.
Jackson felt his whole body froze like it was dozed with ice cold water; April heard everything that they talked about. He closed his eyes tightly and buried his face into his palms; not only did he manage to dodge the unexpected fatherhood—he may have manage to push away the only woman he felt this much and lose her best friend along the way.
oOo
"Dr. Kepner! Incoming Trauma in 5 minutes, patient with multiple GSW, alley mugging" The nurse announced as April entered the pit. She hastily walked towards the trauma cart and snatched herself a gown; "You're a doctor first in this hospital—push it back Kepner, suck it up" she said to herself as she shoved her arms inside the sleeves of the gown.
"I can take this for you, you still look rather pale" Alex said as he sidled up beside his friend, grabbing a trauma gown.
April turned her head sideways and threw Alex a small smile; "I'm fine Alex, thank you" she replied.
Alex pulled his gown on and began lacing it at the back; "If you say so and oh, I forgot to tell you. I already signed the papers for Mer's house, I'll be moving out of our apartment by the end of the week—you and Avery can finally have the apartment to yourselves, you're always boinking anyway" he finished with a smirk.
April's smile faltered; "Y—you're moving out?"
Alex nodded; "We're all grown up now—we're not in college, it's about time to step up and be a man" he said proudly.
"I see" April replied quietly.
Alex paused when he noticed April's reaction; "If the rent is what you're thinking about—I can continue paying up until you guys find a new roommate, hell—Avery can even pay it by himself"
April shook her head; "That won't be necessary—I think I can find my own apartment, thank you for offering though" she said.
Alex frowned; "You're moving out too? Why?"
April was about to respond but the E.R. doors burst open, admitting a gurney and frantic E.M.T's; Saved by trauma she thought. She quickly bolted towards it before throwing the other surgeon a look; "What are you still doing there Alex? MOVE!" she barked.
Alex shook his head before following April's instructions.
oOo
"So you're telling me that the judge may throw his whole case out because I'm married to you?" Cristina asked.
"Yes."
Cristina shifted on her seat; "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
Owen took a deep breath and leaned forward on his desk; "I want you all to win this case, God knows how all of you suffered from this crash and it's only right that the people behind this negligence pay for it—including this hospital"
"But what about you?"
Owen let out a small smile; "Don't worry about me Cristina, I can handle myself" he replied.
Cristina gazed into Owens' eyes; "We—we fought so hard for this marriage to work only for it to fall apart in the end—I don't know what to say or to think" she admitted.
Owen gently gathered his wife's hand into his; "I know-but it's the only way I know how to rectify the mistake I made..."
"It's not your fault Owen, you didn't know that the plane would crash" Cristina said adamantly.
Owen bowed his head; "I should've done things differently—I should've looked into it first before sending you all there-it's partially my fault"
Cristina squeezed her husband's hand; "Do not blame yourself because none of us does"
Owen didn't answer but kept his head bowed.
oOo
Meredith was sitting on the bed inside the on call room when Derek found her; her husband walked towards her and sat down. "Hi" he said.
Meredith smiled brightly as she leans forward, planting a chaste kiss on Derek's lips; "You and Callie already made a plan?"
"She already showed me some of her ideas but-"
"Let me guess, you shot it down even before she's able to finish?" Meredith asked with a raised brow.
Derek shoulders slumps.
Meredith stared at her husband directly; "Derek you should have your hands fixed" she said sternly.
Derek sighed dejectedly; "I know"
Meredith placed her hand on Derek's shoulders, squeezing it comfortingly; "Then let Callie do her work, stop acting like a petulant patient and have her at it. Callie is a brilliant surgeon, I know you know that—if anyone can restore your hands function at a 100% it would be her so just let her."
Derek gazed into Meredith's eyes for a moment before nodding; "Okay, fine" he relented.
Meredith smiled widely; "That's what I want to hear" she said before pulling Derek's face into hers, kissing him passionately.
oOo
"I'll just prescribe some antibiotics that will help with the swelling for now but we really have to take your tonsils out" Mark said.
"Yes Dr. Sloan" Sadie nodded obediently.
Mark narrowed his eyes at his patient; "I don't have to explain the complications it will bring if we don't have that taken out right? Like it can lead to rheumatic heart disease that will-"
"I understand, geez! Don't go all crazy on me" Sadie replied.
Mark smiled; "Good, just reminding you. You've been postponing this surgery for ages, I almost died but your tonsils are still intact"
Sadie threw her doctor a sheepish look; "I promise to comeback for the procedure, next week"
Mark turned his head back to Jackson; "You heard that Avery, you are my witness" he said.
Jackson forced out a smile and just nodded.
Mark noticed his student's eerie quietness; he turned his gaze back to his patient and smiled. "I already got myself a witness so I'm fine with it. Now, I'll get your prescription ready and have one my residents bring it to you, sit tight and you'll have it a few minutes" he said kindly.
Sadie smiled; "Thank you Dr. Sloan" she said. She then shifted on the bed and peered behind Mark's back; "Dr. Avery" she added.
"Get well soon Sadie" Jackson said.
Mark gestured towards the other direction; "Got to go, see you next week" he said. He then turned towards Jackson; "Come on Avery, let's go" he said.
Jackson nodded at Sadie before following Mark.
oOo
April was standing by the printer inside her old Chief Resident's office when Lexie saw her; the younger Grey moved towards the door and placed her hand on the door frame. "What are you printing?"
April turned her gaze towards the door and let out a small smile; "Hey Lex—just looking into some apartments that are nearby" she replied.
Lexie's eyes widen in surprise; "Why are you looking for an apartment? You already have one."
April shifted her eyes back to the printer and plucked the paper; "Alex is already moving out next week" she replied.
"I know but why do you need to move?"
April began perusing the details on the paper; "This doesn't have hard wood floors but it does have a washer-dryer, what do you think?" she asked, clearly evading the question.
Lexie narrowed her gaze and crossed her arms on top of her chest; "April, why are you moving?" she asked.
April lowered the paper and closed her eyes tightly; "Jackson and I-we broke up"
"What?!"
April turned her face back to Lexie and let out a pained smile; "It's not called breaking up because we were never really together in the first place, right? Can I call that a break up?" she mumbled.
Lexie furrowed her brows in concern as she walks towards the red head; "What happened Apes? I thought you guys were doing good—as in real good"
April let out a humorless laugh as tears began pooling in her eyes; "I thought so too—but things just don't work out that way. I guess—relationships don't come easy for me"
"I don't know what to say-I'm sorry" Lexie said sincerely.
"I will be okay—don't worry" April replied tearfully.
Lexie pulled the distraught surgeon into a tight hug; "I'm sorry that you're hurting Apes...I'm really sorry"
April buried her face into Lexie's shoulder as she let herself feel the gravity of what just happened; she felt a sob escaped her lips as tears kept flowing steadily.
Lexie sighed dejectedly as she began rubbing the red head's back soothingly, providing comfort the best way she knows how.
oOo
Derek made a bee line towards Callie's makeshift office; he sauntered inside and walked towards the desk, plucking Callie's research.
"Hey—hey! What are you doing? We're not done with that yet!" Callie said frantically.
Derek paused and threw Callie an appeasing smile; "We'll work on it" he said.
"But you're just gonna crap all over it again! I've been busting my ass here, losing sleep talking to surgeon's from Switzerland and you—you keep on fighting me every step of the way so just-"
"I'm sorry" Derek said cutting Callie's rant off.
Callie snapped her mouth close, staring at Derek with wide eyes, clearly not expecting an apology.
Derek threw Callie a sheepish look; "I know I've been a crappy patient—a very crappy patient to you and I'm sorry. You are right, you've been busting your ass off of this and I'm acting like an ungrateful idiot" he admitted. He then let out a small smile and wiggled the paper on his hand; "I promise not to fight you every step of the way—I'm handing the reins to you, fix me" he said.
Callie narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the Neuro Surgeon; "Mark didn't mention anything about Avery tackling you if you resist, right?"
Derek stared at Callie for a moment before letting out a full belly laugh.
Callie smiled widely upon seeing Derek's reaction.
"You plan to sic Avery on me if I refused your game plan again?" Derek asked with amusement.
Callie shrugged her shoulders, a smile never leaving her lips; "Well yeah—it's the only way to get you to listen" she replied.
"You, Calliope Torres are one in a million" Derek said.
"The hell I am."
oOo
Mark closed the door behind him and stared at Jackson; "Did something happen with Kepner? Is she alright?" he asked.
Jackson plopped down on the couch and stared at the floor pensively; "She's alright" he replied.
Mark sat beside his prot and threw him a confused look; "Then what's wrong? Is it Derek's surgery?"
Jackson shook his head; "No—Torres and I have a solid plan, Shepherd cannot crap all over it this time" he replied.
"That's good to hear but come on, what's really up with you? You're clearly out of your zone, something is wrong so just spit it out"
"There has been a mistake"
"What mistake?" Mark asked cautiously.
Jackson leaned forward and braised his elbows on top of his knees; "The lab messed up and gave April the wrong results—it was switched accidentally, she's not pregnant"
"Well I'll be damned!" Mark gasped. He then leaned back on the couch and stared at Jackson's back; "Wow-you just dodge the bullet that you've wanted to dodge" he said with amazement.
Jackson buried his face into his hands, clearly not happy.
Mark frowned and waited for the younger surgeon to explain further.
Jackson pulled his face away from his hands and turned his head sideways, looking at his mentor. "I didn't want the baby and yet I was disappointed when April told me that she was not pregnant, why?"
Mark took a deep breath; "Sometimes we think that we don't want something because we're afraid that if we admit it to ourselves that it's what really we want, it gets taken away. You got scared when you found out that you were having a baby but that doesn't mean you didn't want it and it will hurt less if it was taken away or if it isn't there."
"April also heard us talking, we broke up—no I broke up with her."
Mark's eyes widen in shock; "Why did you do that?"
Jackson sighed; "I wasn't really thinking when I blurted it out. I mean, she was acting so relieved when she saw the result—I got hurt so I reacted"
Mark frowned; "What are you gonna do about it? When are you planning to say sorry to her and get her back? You just told me you have a lot of feelings for her"
"That's the thing...I don't think we should still pursue it"
"What do you mean by that? You're ditching her for real?"
Jackson clasped his hands together, resting his chin on top of it; "I think it's for the best. I can't lose her man—she's my best friend, if pursuing this feelings mean I will lose her in the end then I'd rather not..."
"So you're taking the easy way out? You're choosing to bail?" Mark asked with a raised brow.
Jackson sighed; "If bailing means keeping her then yes, I'm bailing."
Mark shook his head, clearly disappointed with Jackson's decision; "Let's just hope that you didn't lose her when you made that decision."
"I never meant to start a war, I just wanted you to let me in and instead of using force, I guess I should've let you win..."
"So you're telling me that you and Owen will have to file a divorce so we can win this case?" Meredith asked with a frown.
Cristina sighed; "Yes."
"How do you feel about that? I sure there are other ways-"
"No there isn't" Cristina replied, cutting Meredith off. She then began rubbing her temples trying hard to fight the incoming headache; "We already talked and we already decided-we both think it's for the best."
Meredith let out a sigh; "It's still not right that you're being forced to do this because of that stupid case" she said.
"It's not solely for the case Mer and you and I both know it. Owen is a good man—a family type of man, a man who needs kids and a wife to completely make him happy. I on the other hand don't want kids, it's a clear conflict of interest. The more we pretend that we are okay the more damage it will cause us both" Cristina explained. She then let out a defeated sigh and closed her eyes; "I love him but I don't think that will ever be enough" she admitted forlornly.
Meredith pressed her lips together tightly and just grasped her person's hands in hers, comforting her the best way she knows how.
Cristina let out another defeated sigh.
oOo
April was fixing her things when Jackson entered the lounge; "Hey" he greeted awkwardly.
April zipped her bag before letting out a tight lipped smile as a response; she then hefted her bag from the table and began walking towards the door. She pulled it open but paused midway; "Alex is moving out of the apartment by the end of this week, did he tell you?" she asked quietly.
Jackson swallowed hard and cleared his throat; "Uh-yeah, he told me last night."
April tightened her hold on the strap of her bag; "I-I already found an apartment nearby and I'm planning on moving out next week..."
"April-you don't have to leave-"
"I have to" April said, cutting Jackson off. "I-I can't stay with you if we're gonna try to be just friends again, you know that already."
Jackson let out a defeated sigh before slumping down the couch; "Are we gonna be like this all the time?"
"What do you mean?" April asked.
Jackson gestured between the space between them; "This-the awkwardness between us..."
April stared at Jackson for a moment; "I guess it will be like this for now-I mean we just broke up" she paused and wrinkled her nose. "Oh we can't break up because we never even made it to that point" she corrected herself with an awkward chuckle.
"April..." Jackson pleaded.
April squared her shoulders and let out a smile; "It's the truth Jackson let's not sugar-coat the reality" she replied tiredly. She then tugged on her bag and gestured towards the hallway; "Well I'll be on my way, have a good night" she said before slipping outside the door and closing it behind her.
Jackson stared at the door for a moment before collapsing back on the couch; "Looks like you lost her after all...fuck!"
oOo
Jackson was nursing his whiskey with a deep frown on his face; he was upset with April's reaction and decision. He knows he's at fault too but moving out? She's practically running away from him and her way of saying that this may not fixed at all. Yes, he knows that they have a track record of not being able to keep their hands to their selves, especially when he still has strong lingering feelings for her but he thinks her move is a little drastic, even with their situation.
"You look like crap" Alex said as he pulls a chair beside his friend.
Jackson lifted his glass and began looking at it; "Yeah, that's about right"
Alex flagged the bartender and asked for a beer; "So, uh-Kepner's knocked up?" he asked.
Jackson paused and turned towards Alex in shock.
Alex placed his hands on top of the counter and met Jackson's gaze; "I mean, she was acting a little weirder than usual, Lexie drew her blood and she had this preposterous idea to cover it up with anemia screening" he explained.
Jackson shifted his gaze back to his drink; "Well, not that it's any of your business but no, she's not knocked up" he said before taking a huge gulp of his drink
"That sounds like something to drink to" Alex said, clearly relieved for his friend.
Jackson's head snapped towards Alex and glared at him; "No more calling her weird" he warned.
Alex grimaced; "She is"
"Yeah, I know-just-you're not allowed to say it."
Alex nodded; "Fine. So—like I told you last night, I'm moving out by the end of the week. I spoke with Kepner and it seems like she's planning to move out too, what are your plans? Are you keeping the apartment and find new roommates or are you leaving as well?'
Jackson emptied his glass and gestured for the bartender to give him another one; "I don't know—I don't want to think about it" he said glumly.
Alex studied Jackson's face; "Something tells me that this is more than Kepner being pregnant—did you guys break up?" he asked perceptively.
Jackson ignored Alex's question and just took a large gulp of his whiskey.
Alex rolled his eyes; "That answers my question then" he mumbled to himself. He then plucked his beer from the counter and took a sip of his drink; "Love is for losers" he concluded.
oOo
April closed the door to her room and locked it; she tiredly walked towards her bed and crawled up. She burrowed under the covers and stared at the ceiling; it's over—they're over, Jackson finally ended whatever it is between them and it hurts like hell. She turned to her side and clutched her comforter to her chest tightly; she closed her eyes and almost instantly tears trailed down her cheeks. "Why do you keep crying April—are you falling in love with him?" she asked herself.
oOo
"You're gonna tell him tonight?" Lexie asked excitedly.
Meredith smiled nervously; "Yes I am—do you think the shirt is a good idea?"
Lexie leaned forward and squeezed her sister's arm comfortingly; "The shirt is a wonderful idea" she replied.
Meredith took a deep breath before standing up from her sister's bed; "I better head down, he'll be here any second now" she said.
Lexie smiled widely; "I just heard his car pulling up the driveway, you better go down now" she said.
"Wish me luck Lex!" Meredith said before yanking the door open and stepping out.
Lexie laughed; "It's not that you need any but good luck!"
Derek just entered the front door when Meredith rounded the corner; "Hey" Derek said.
Meredith walked towards her husband and planted a kiss on his lips; "Hey you" she replied.
Derek smiled; "I spoke to Clements before I left, he sent your grabby patient to Seattle Press, he didn't want to operate" he said.
Meredith pulled away from Derek and walked towards the couches; "I told you he didn't have the balls" she huffed. She then plopped down and stared at Derek nervously; "I bought Zola a new shirt I think I left it on the breakfast bar, can you check it to see if she will like it"
"Okay" Derek replied as he walks towards the kitchen. "Where's our princess by the way?" he asked.
"I already put her to bed, she's sleeping like an angel" Meredith replied.
"Lexie?"
"She's in her room reading the novel your patient wrote"
Derek laughed; "She's still reading that?"
"She is, did you find it?" Meredith asked as she fidgeted in her seat.
"Yeah—Here it is"
Meredith bit her bottom lip as she waited for her husband's reaction.
Derek rounded the corner with his eyes wide in shock; he lifted the tiny pink shirt that says World's Best Big Sister in his hands.
Meredith stood from her perch and smiled widely; "It's only 3 weeks so I shouldn't be telling you. I mean, I still have a hostile uterus and terrible things are constantly happening to us which is why I only told my sister because she accidentally found out, she's so nosy but I haven't told Cristina yet—so please don't tell anyone else because if you do, I swear I'll kick you out of this house that you built."
Derek hastily walked towards his wife with a huge smile; "Don't worry I won't and good things happens to us like we're gonna have another baby" he said. He then pulled his wife to his chest and kissed her affectionately.
Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek's neck and returned his kisses; after a couple of seconds she pulled away and grinned happily. "We're gonna have another baby"
Derek pulled Meredith into a tight hug and lifted her from the floor; "Another baby!" he chortled jovially.
Meredith laughed.
oOo
The next day, April woke up an hour earlier than her usual just to get ready for work; she didn't want to experience an awkward run in with Jackson so she made sure that she's all packed and ready to go to even before he woke up. She was shrugging on her jacket when she heard a door being opened; she hastily grabbed her bag from the breakfast bar and began creeping towards the living room as quietly as she can, she was in the process of unlocking the front door when she heard someone clearing his throat behind her, making her stiffen.
"Why are you skulking there like a thief?"
April let out a relieved breath when she recognized the voice; she turned around and smiled widely at Alex. "Good morning, you're early today"
Alex blinked a couple times; "Where are you going at this hour? It's still early" he said after yawning.
"I'm on my way to the hospital-err—I'm on lumps and bumps duty today so I need a head start" April explained.
Alex wrinkled his nose; "That sucks" he said. He then narrowed his eyes; "You're not sneaking out because you're avoiding Avery, right?" he asked.
April let out a nervous chuckle; "Why would I avoid Jackson? You're being silly" she lied.
Alex crossed his arms on top of his chest and stared at April seriously; "I know that whatever it is between you two is over—"
"He told you?" April asked in shock, cutting her friend of mid sentence.
"He didn't tell me on purpose, I ran into him at Joe's, drinking himself to stupor—again" Alex explained.
April bit her bottom lip as she digests Alex's word, after a couple of seconds she spoke again. "Maybe he's celebrating?"
Alex rolled his eyes; "He looked like crap, a man celebrating a break up doesn't look that way."
April tightened her hold on the strap of her bag; "He—he was the one who wanted to end it, I don't understand why he would feel bad about it..."
Alex stared at April; "Look I'm only telling you this once so you better listen carefully, can you do that?"
"Yeah—sure"
Alex scratched his chin, clearly uncomfortable; "Sometimes guys says things that we don't really mean-especially if we feel that we've been backed into the corner. We take things literally-we base our reaction from the other party, whatever reaction you gave out the other night triggered a reaction resulting to Avery breaking up with you but that doesn't mean he means it."
April didn't respond, she just blinked a couple of times.
Alex sighed in exasperation; "All I'm trying to say is that a guy who drinks himself to stupor and looks like crap doesn't look like a guy who wants to end things. I'm not saying that you two should get back together and start boinking again because it's not my place to tell you these things, but if you can set aside your crazies and he's willing to swallow his huge pride then talk it out. As much as it pains me to admit this, you two are my friends and I don't want to leave this place knowing that you had fallen apart and I didn't do anything about it."
April let out a small smile; "We're your friends?"
Alex rolled his eyes for the second time; "We've been living together for almost a year, we've worked together even longer than that, if I didn't treat you guys friends do you think I'd agree moving in with you?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm.
April giggled; "Just checking"
"Just think about what I said so you don't have to sneak in and out of this place like a common thief, man up Kepner"
April pulled the door open; "I can't man up because I'm not a man but I'll definitely think about it, thank you Alex" she said.
Alex waived his hand dismissively; "Whatever, drive safely" he said before making his way to the kitchen.
April stepped out of the apartment and closed the door behind her; "I really didn't think he'd care" she said to herself.
oOo
Alex was pouring himself coffee when Jackson entered the kitchen clutching his head in his hands; "Hang over is bitch" Jackson groaned.
Alex chuckled; "Only fair, you were a bitch last night" he teased.
Jackson narrowed his eyes at the other man; "Funny" he said sarcastically.
Alex smirked; "I'm not trying to be funny" he quipped.
Jackson walked towards the cupboards and grabbed himself a cup; he then moved towards the counter and poured himself coffee.
"So—I caught April sneaking out of the apartment this morning, looks like she's trying to avoid you because she left quite early"
Jackson frowned; "What do you mean sneaking?" he asked before taking a sip.
"She was creeping towards the front door and trying her best to look inconspicuous" Alex explained.
Jackson shifted his eyes away from Alex and just fixed it on his cup; "I see"
Alex studied the other man's demeanor before standing up his perch; "Talk to her man, we both know you feel like crap for ending things with her" he said before walking away.
"It's not that easy!" Jackson snapped.
Alex paused and turned his face towards Jackson; "Nothing worth having is easy, think about that" he said before continuing his trek.
oOo
April sauntered inside the pit and saw her mentor standing by the nurses' station; she pasted a smile on her face before approaching him. "Good morning Chief" she greeted.
Owen took his eyes off his charts and turned towards April; "Morning Kepner, you're early"
"I woke up early so I decided to come in. I'm just reminding you that I'm not handling the pit today because I've been rotated to do Outpatient Procedures—lumps and bumps day for me"
Owen scrunched his face; "Sorry about that—just make sure that you finish them all today so you wouldn't have to be stuck doing it again tomorrow okay? Rally on soldier!" he finished with enthusiasm.
April chuckled; "Will do Chief" she replied. "Err—do you know who's on my service today? It's not yet posted"
Owen furrowed his brows while in thought; "I think you have Ross today, if I'm not mistaken but you can check with him, a schedule has been sent to the interns last night, they'll know which service they are under" he said.
April nodded; "Okay—I'll just go ahead and see if he's already in, thank you Chief" she said perkily.
Owen nodded in acknowledgement.
oOo
"Who do you guys have?" Stephanie asked as she pulls her scrub top on.
"I'm with Kepner today, we're doing Outpatient procedures" Shane said proudly.
Jo wrinkled her nose; "Why are you so happy about that? She's "The Dud" you know"
"Hey! Don't call her that! I like Dr. Kepner, she's the only Attending in this hospital who actually takes the time to teach" Shane retorted, defending the Trauma Surgeon.
Jo just rolled her eyes in response.
"I'm with Medusa today, we're handling the pit, anyone who wants to switch?" Heather asked hopefully.
"No thank you" Jo replied before walking away.
Shane didn't even bother with a response and just left.
Stephanie patted Heather at the shoulder comfortingly; "Good luck" she said before making her escape.
Heather closed her locker door and followed her friends.
April stepped out of her hiding place and braised her hands on her hips; she narrowed her eyes at the spot where the interns stood before huffing. "Let's see if you'll still call me The Dud after today" she said.
oOo
"You look like crap, Torres is looking for you" Mark said as he saw Jackson walking towards him.
Jackson ignored Mark's comment; "Where is she?" he asked.
Mark pointed towards Callie's makeshift office; "She's there talking to Derek" he replied.
Jackson nodded and made his way towards the room.
"So—we'll have the surgery scheduled by tomorrow, we just need to find an intern to scrub in with us—we'll need extra hands" Callie said.
"Sounds good" Derek replied while looking through his treatment plan.
Jackson leaned on the doorframe; "Looks like I don't need to do anything" he said with a tired smile.
Derek turned his gaze towards his best friend's prot; "I heard Callie employed you to tackle me" he said with an amused smirk.
Jackson shrugged his shoulders; "If that's the only way to make you listen, I'm all for it" he replied.
Derek chuckled; "You found yourself a keeper here Torres"
Callie rolled her eyes; "Don't let Mark hear you say that" she said.
Jackson pulled away from his perch and stuffed his hands inside his lab coat pocket; "I heard that we'll be doing the surgery tomorrow—already found an intern yet?" he asked.
"Nope but we'll find someone today, the lucky bird will get the chance to scrub in with us" Callie said.
"Alright, just page me if we need to do the picking—I need to run some post ops" Jackson said.
Callie nodded; "Okay—shoo!"
Jackson spun on his heels and began walking away.
"That was fast" Mark observed when he saw Jackson walking back towards him.
"I didn't need to tackle Shepherd, he's quite amenable today"
"That's good to hear. You running some post ops now or-?"
Jackson leaned towards the nurses' station and grabbed his charts; "Yeah—I'll see you later" he said before walking away.
Mark cocked his head to the side; "Sulky puppy" he concluded.
oOo
"Where the hell have you been?"
Shane ran towards the nurses' station; "I'm sorry Dr. Kepner I was running-"
"Stop talking, I'm not asking you to explain" April snapped. She then grabbed the charts from the counter and pushed it towards the intern; "Sort this out based from the severity of the condition, I trust you can do that?"
Shane accepted the charts; "Of course Dr. Kepner"
"We are fully packed now, we have to get through them all so no slacking, do you understand me?"
"Yes Dr. Kepner"
April raised her brow; "Why are you still standing there? Get to work!" she barked.
Shane hastily spun on his heels and began walking towards the waiting room.
April let out a small smirk.
oOo
Jackson was just exiting his patient's room when his pager went off; he tucked his chart under his armpit and pulled his pager out. He read the message and groaned; "Great! Just what I needed" he grumbled. He stormed towards the nurses' station and placed his charts on the counter; "Make sure to monitor Mr Myers wound, page me as soon as you notice any discoloration on his arm, okay?"
"Yes Dr. Avery" The nurse replied.
"Thanks!"
oOo
April felt the breakfast she just ate making its way up to her throat; Shane was not kidding, that patient has the most disgusting butt scab she had ever seen in her entire career and it's making her gag—big time. She placed her hands on her lips when she felt another wave hit her; she hastily jogged along the hallway, desperate to find the nearest ladies room. She was about to round the corner when she bumped into someone; "Sorry!" she croaked without looking up.
Jackson automatically braised his hands on April's shoulder; "April"
April's head snapped up, hands still clasped tightly to her mouth; she felt her gag reflex act again when butterflies started storming inside her stomach upon seeing Jackson.
"Are you okay?" Jackson asked with concern.
April swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth and stood straighter; when she's sure that she won't be puking, she let her hands fall limp to her side. "I'm okay" she replied.
Jackson pulled his hands away; "Why do you look like you're ready to hurl?"
April wrinkled her nose; "We—we have a patient and she has the most disgusting butt scab I've ever seen in my entire career, its awful" she rasped out.
Jackson stared at her for a couple of seconds before laughing.
April felt the corner of her lips lifting up on its own accord and before she realizes she's laughing along side with Jackson-just like the old times.
Jackson smiled; "This feels good" he admitted.
"What?" April asked, clearly confused with his statement.
"Laughing with you again—just like the old times" Jackson replied.
"Yeah—I know"
Jackson shifted in his feet and stuffed his hands inside his lab coat pockets; "I don't want to lose you April" he blurted out.
April bit her bottom lip as she stares quietly at Jackson.
Jackson threw April a pleading look; "I know that we need time to sort things and I kinda understand why you have to move out but please don't shut me out and avoid me...I-I don't think I can handle that..." he said, his voice bordering desperation.
April felt a twinge inside her chest watching him like this; she reached for his arm and squeezed it comfortingly; "You won't lose me Jackson—I promise you that, but you have to give me time- us time."
Jackson placed his hand on top of hers; "I can do that but—but you promise?" he asked while starting straight into April's eyes.
April let out a small smile; "I promise, me and you will be alright."
Jackson smiled back; "Me and you" he echoed.
oOo
A/N: Whoa! I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written—like seriously! LOL I have read all your reviews and you guys are AWESOME! I'm definitely taking into consideration all of your suggestions and I will try my best to incorporate it in my next chapter, I can't apply much in this since most of the scenarios here is kinda ingrained in my head and it won't budge no matter what I do! Hahahaha! I miss Mark and Lexie so much so most of the scene includes them, I think things would have gone differently for Jackson & April if Mark didn't die, don't you think? He'll be hovering around Jackson pestering him to man up and say his feelings out loud-that would have been fun and interesting, I think. Well I'll leave you all to it, don't forget to review! And oh—next chappy is currently being written, just give me a couple of days to get it together—just to give you a peek, next title will be Little too much. ^_^ Again, you guys are AWESOME, keep your reviews coming so I'll know what to change! Cheers!
P.S: Sorry for the grammar lapses and all the errors, English is not my native language & I don't have a BETA reader so I'm just trying to ace it, Teeheeeheeee! Cheers! ^_^