He was only a few sentences into his tirade before Justin became aware of Gus's presence. The horrified gasp of the small boy over Justin's repeated use of profanity was enough to render Justin speechless. Stunned silent and with mouth open, Brian ceased the opportunity to make his move. He wrapped Justin in his arms and kissed the living fuck out of him. Every bit the enthusiastic continuation of his celebration triggered by his phone call earlier, Brian dipped Justin backwards and laid one on him. A phone call, of course, Justin remained oblivious to.
Gus giggled at seeing his dad passionately kiss the stranger but scattered off to the television fairly certain he heard the start of Spongebob Squarepants playing in the living room and finding it more of a draw then whatever his dad was up to.
Justin squirmed under Brian's assault, his fury even more ignited by the gall of the man to kiss him like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't said what he said. Justin pushed his arms between them to get enough leverage to remove himself from Brian's strong hands without falling backward on his ass. Finally standing on his own two feet and feeling relief from the fog that clouded his head, he raised a hand to slap Brian. He stopped just short seeing Gus was still within a clear view.
"What the hell is the matter with you? Do you have a mental illness of some sort?" Justin asked irately with only a hint of seriousness to his question.
Brian chuckled, "No" he replied, "Come in, I want to talk to you and I want you to meet my son."
Justin surveyed Brian's jovial expression and the way his eyes kept scanning his bare chest and obvious bulge that was not well concealed by the thin pajama bottoms he wore. His irritation at Brian's unpredictable mood swings boiled over and he erupted "I'm not interested in what you have to say. I didn't deserve to be dismissed so callously the other day and I sure as hell didn't deserve to be accosted because you decided to change your mind. I'm not a fucking toy you get to play with when the mood strikes you. I just came up here to ask you to keep the noise down."
Justin turned on his heel and walked out of Brian's loft with a huff. He was on the first step of the stairwell when Brian finally formed a word, "Justin wait" he called, meeting him at the top of the stairs.
"What?" Justin asked in exasperation when Brian continued to stare at him without a word.
"I'm sorry about the other day. I can explain." He offered casually.
Justin shook his head, "Sorry is bullshit; particularly when you say it like that. Like I said Brian, I'm not interested. I thought we might have had a connection but I was wrong."
"You weren't wrong. Please let me explain." Brian stumbled over his words desperate to explain.
"Brian, look, I'm just not looking for a friend with benefits. I thought that was what I needed but it's just not me. I want a boyfriend and it's not going to be someone who wants to fuck around, or have sex in the back of clubs, or gets freaked out by real emotions. I mean you're what, in your mid-thirties? If you're still doing that shit now, you and I can never work, so why waste our time trying, you know?"
Brian was gutted. Justin basically called him a promiscuous over-the-hill club boy that was incapable of expressing emotion. All things that were absolutely true. Brian had no reason to refute the accusations. If Justin knew what he needed, and it wasn't him, who was he to convince him otherwise?
Justin flew down the stairs confident in his decision. It was time to move on from Brian Kinney and find a real man who wanted the same things he did. Marcus and Daphne were on the couch chatting when Justin came back.
"Hey, where did you go?" Daphne asked surprised he had been out.
"Brian's" Justin responded and clarified upon seeing Daphne's disapproving look, "Just to ask him to keep it down. His son is there and the noise was crazy."
Marcus smirked, "You went like that?"
Justin nodded, "Yeah, I was still half-asleep."
"Uh-huh" Marcus nodded unconvinced. You show up half naked to an ex-lover's place, it's sends a clear message and that message is not stay away, he thought, but didn't say anything. He and Daphne exchanged a look that told him he was not alone in his thinking.
Justin walked over the couch and grabbed his laptop. "Hey, will you help me create one of these on-line dating profiles?"
Daphne and Marcus both burst into laughter but seeing Justin's hurt face they calmed down quickly, "Justin, you can't be serious. The only men you will find on those sites are just looking for sex."
"Well how else am I supposed to meet someone without trolling Liberty Avenue?"
Marcus and Daphne both glanced at each other with a knowing nod and then turned to look at him, "FACEBOOK!" they both exclaimed enthusiastically.
"What? I hate Facebook!" Justin protested.
Daphne took Justin's laptop and logged on to her Facebook page anyways. "Justin you're twenty-three and it's 2014. Stalking someone on social media is a perfectly acceptable way to meet someone."
"How is that different than a dating site?" Justin whined.
Marcus chimed in, "Because you can find friends of friends and their profiles give you enough real information about them to determine if you might have something in common with them. Not like dating sites where everyone just puts how big their cock is. Facebook will tell you what movies they like and what they really do on the weekends."
Daphne added, " Exactly, a dating site might say they like hiking but their social media will tell you if they actually hike on the weekends and where they hike or do they actually spend twelve hours playing Call of Duty?"
Justin watched over Daphne's shoulder while she searched through her various friends and looked at their friends to see if anyone stood out. "Here" Daphne pointed out, "Look here's Josh's page. This guy he's friends with Chris looks promising. He's an elementary school art teacher, twenty-six, from California but lives in Pittsburgh and is really hot. He went to Penn State, see, so Josh probably went to school with him."
Justin looked at the picture, "Yeah, he's hot but you don't even know he's gay."
Daphne navigated to other pages flipping through his pictures, "Justin here he is at Pride. Here's a picture of him with his mom who's wearing a PFLAG shirt and he's checked in at Woody's before. He's gay, trust me, and according to facebook single and interested in men."
"What the fuck?" Justin laughed, "You got all that from his facebook page?"
Daphne smiled and handed Justin back his laptop, "You're welcome" she stated smugly. "Now get stalking and if you find someone, I'll help you meet them." Justin smiled intrigued, taking his laptop into his room and familiarizing himself with social media sites he had largely managed to ignore. After a few days of obsessive trolling, he relented, deciding it was worth a shot and created an Instagram and facebook account for himself.
Brian was thankful Gus had been with him to distract him from the dark realization that he was destined to be alone. They spent a great few days together. Brian had a great time swimming, playing basketball, tennis, and soccer with his son. He loved that Gus seemed to be athletically inclined, far more coordinated for his age than Brian expected. They had some great talks too about his unique family and how to deal with mean kids at school. Gus only had two days left in town and Lindsay's folks were asking to spend time with him so Brian dropped him off shortly before his doctor's appointment.
When Brian pulled into UPMC parking lot he felt none of the dread he experienced the last time he was there. He found the directory and went to the third floor where Dr. Morse, the specialist he was referred to, was located. Brian entered the elevator and was joined shortly after by a familiar face.
Eric instantly recognized the attractive man he knew as Justin's new interest. "Brian?" he confirmed.
Brian nodded without speaking.
"I thought that was you. I'm Eric; we met at Justin's the other day." Eric held out his hand, balancing the box of cookies he was carrying, offering a handshake to Brian, which was met reluctantly.
"How is Justin?" Brian asked aiming for casual disinterest but failing miserably.
Eric smiled, "He's okay. Listen, it's none of my business but you're an idiot if you don't try harder with Justin, he's a great guy and I know he really liked you."
Brian nodded, acknowledging Eric's declaration. Liked being the operative word, as in past tense. "I think Justin made it perfectly clear he's no longer interested in me." Brian remarked as he left the elevator. To his surprise, Eric followed.
Seeing Brian's concern Eric explained his reason for exiting, pointing to a nearby office, "My mom's oncologist is on this floor; I am just dropping off a thank you for the staff who took care of her."
Brian nodded, "Yeah, sorry to hear about your mom's passing. Listen, nice seeing you but I need to go; I'll be late for my appointment."
"Hey Brian, if you change your mind and want to try to impress Justin, I have four years of experience knowing what the man likes." Eric added with a wink and turned to enter the doctor's office but struggled with the nob since his hands were full.
Brian held the door for Eric and thought about his offer. Brian had fucked up royally with Justin and all but written off his chances. Then again, he had changed and he was ready for something more substantial than a casual fuck. What kind of ad man would he be if he couldn't sell himself? Maybe a little market research was exactly what he needed before launching his new and improved Brian campaign. "Hey, you busy in about an hour?" Brian asked, his mind still working over the possibilities.
Eric broke into an impossibly big grin. "Yeah, there's a coffee shop in the hospital. I'll meet you there when you're appointment is finished."
Brian left his follow-up appointment with two prescriptions and new information about his condition which wasn't nearly as scary as the internet suggested and definitely a million times easier to deal with than cancer. He walked over to the Starbucks within the hospital and found Eric reading on his phone. "Hey" he smiled.
"Hi there" Eric answered, pushing out a chair for Brian. "Everything go okay at your doctor's appointment?"
Brian nodded, "Yeah, thanks"
"So before I help you I want to tell you something about Justin. He's not a man you can manipulate. He hates insincerity and he can detect it a mile away, so if you're going to do this, it has to be because you want him. Like, really want all of him, not just a fuck, and everything you do, it has to be from the heart."
Brian nodded, but couldn't disguise his look of apprehension.
"So do you want him?" Eric asked unconvinced by the nod alone, "Are you in love with him?"
Brian stared at the boldness of Eric's question. Love, he didn't know about love just yet. "Um, I'm not sure about being in love, but, I think... I'm open to the possibility; maybe for the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of it with him."
Eric met his response with an approving nod, "Congratulations, you passed my little test. Complete sincerity with no bullshit…first law of Justin."
Brian smiled and met Eric's mischievous gaze, "All right then Mr. Kinney, what can I tell you about the greatest guy I know?"
Brian spent over two hours with Eric learning about Justin. What he likes and what he doesn't like. Some questions, like those about his family and childhood, Eric wouldn't answer, insisting the Brian learn those things from Justin himself. Still, he learned not to buy him flowers because of his allergies but that the man loved caramel popcorn and Kit Kat bars. He learned other useful insights like that he licked his lower lip when he was excited about something and his bit his upper one when he was frustrated. Eric shared with him everything that he loved about Justin and, for a minute, Brian felt like maybe Eric should be the one trying again with Justin.
"Why are you helping me? It's obvious you're still in love with him." Brian asked, suspicious about Eric's motives for the first time.
Eric shook his head, "I do love him but I've accepted that we aren't compatible in some very crucial ways. I want him to be happy and I know you can be that guy for him."
"But I was so awful to him. Why would you think that?" Brian asked.
"I just know." Eric repeated, "Justin wants you, the real you, the one that took him to dinner the night my mom died. Not whatever persona you put up when you're scared to feel too much. Justin told me what happened and I recognize it because my mom had that same persona. She was alone her whole life, afraid to let love in for fear of getting hurt. She lost her parents when she was young, then my dad left her. It changed her. She would date someone and as soon as it looked like she might be feeling anything real, she would do something to scare them away. I'm guessing something like that happened to you…maybe not a loss like my mom, but something that made you not have much faith in people or made you think you weren't worthy of love. You don't have to tell me, it's none of my business. But Justin, you can trust him. He's great at love and he does it easily and with his entire being. It's an amazing feeling to be loved by him."
Brian stared at Eric dumbstruck by his insight. He didn't confirm his assumptions but he wanted to hug him for the help he offered, so he did. He gave him a huge hug and thanked him because somehow he knew that this conversation, his help, might change his life.
Marcus Chanders was having an exceptionally great day. One of his favorite patients had a great response to her chemo, his roommate's girlfriend had left so he was back in his own bed tonight, and a friend of his was called into an emergency surgery so he was the beneficiary of two tickets for tonight's Pirate's game and a very hot nurse was going with him. He thought he would celebrate by grabbing a calorie-ridden drink from the hospital coffee shop. That's when his great day turned crappy in a hurry. There, locked in a prolonged hug, was Eric with none other than Brian Kinney. Motherfucker! How was he going to tell Justin this?
Marcus fled the coffee shop and called his sister, tapping his foot anxiously as he waited for her to answer his call. "Sis, you're never going to believe this!"
A/N: Shorter than normal chapter just to get it posted. Lots going on this weekend so not sure I will have much time to write and didn't want to leave the cliff hanger but of course now there's a new one to torment you with. Please let me know what you think. Comments and reviews are golden.