Justin stared at the ceiling for a good twenty minutes trying to reconcile in his own mind what was happening between him and Brian. He felt the weight of Brian's head pushing on his shoulder, his arm going dead under the weight of him snuggled up next to him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. With Eric, this would have been a completely organic moment but with Brian, Justin couldn't be sure. How could a man who so adamantly protested dating in any form have transformed himself so quickly for him to share willingly in such a perfect moment?
"Sunshine, I can hear you thinking. Do you want to talk about it?" Brian asked while moving enough to give Justin a rush of feeling back in his arm.
"I just, I was just thinking that this is really nice. You, in my bed, I mean. I was wondering if I should get used to it?" There, Justin thought, that was a non-threatening way to ask what the fuck was going on between them.
Brian smirked, that god-damn sexy smirk of his, and kissed Justin, but didn't answer right away. He rolled over to the other side of the table and checked his watch for the time. "Man, it's already eleven. What time is the wedding?"
"Not till five" Justin answered.
"Are you painting today?" Brian asked.
"I should" Justin admitted. "unless I get a better offer."
"Do you have time for lunch?" Brian asked. If he was going to have a real conversation with Justin and admit he wanted them to be together, he needed a full stomach and a shower.
Justin nodded and grabbed his underwear from the floor to head to the shower. Brian climbed out of his bed and started heading for the bathroom. "Um Brian, you may want to put on some underwear. I do have a roommate." Justin laughed, "And she is still capable of removing your balls."
Brian huffed a little but found his sweats on the floor and slipped them on. Justin may have a great bed but the shower arrangement left much to be desired. "Ball" he corrected after a brief pause.
"Excuse me?" Justin asked.
"She could only remove my ball, singular, I only have one to lose. I am really fond of it though, so she can't have it."
"But you have two…." Justin answered, completely confused, like he was missing a joke.
"I had testicular cancer a few years ago. The left one's artificial but no one's ever been able to tell." Brian shrugged as if he just announced he preferred Cheerios to Special K and not that he had a life threatening illness and was missing a body part.
Justin felt like an ass although he wasn't sure why exactly. He just knew that this had something to do with Brian kicking him out before. "Are you okay now?" Justin swallowed hard through the question. He couldn't imagine what he would do if the answer was no. "I mean is there a reason why you're telling me this?"
Brian walked up to Justin and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close to his body. The look of worry on Justin face more than confirmed that whatever was building between them was mutual. "I'm fine now" he reassured him. "They say five years is the landmark year, where you really know you beat it, and the fifth anniversary of my diagnosis is coming up next February. I just felt like you should know."
Justin nodded, unsure of what else to say. "Let's go take a shower. I'm starving."
Brian climbed in first into the hot spray. Justin's shower was smaller but roomy enough for two. The shower stall was enclosed by tile on three sides and on the fourth was a small opening to walk in with the rest of the wall solid on the lower half, supporting a small bench seat, and opaque glass tiles on the top. Brian's mind worked over the possibilities of that bench but there wasn't time for that now. Justin's stomach was making demands, so they soaped up and moved through the routine with just some sensual touches and kisses. Brian even used Justin's store-brand shampoo without comment but made a mental note to buy him some of the good stuff so it would be on hand if he stayed over again. Justin stepped into the spray to rinse his hair, trying to focus on Brian, but his worry that Daphne was still not home distracted him.
"Hey, where'd you go?" Brian asked, wondering what caused Justin's pretty blue eyes to fill with concern. "I told you, I'm fine now. I didn't tell you so you can worry yourself into more wrinkles." He teased pressing a thumb lightly on the worry line on Justin's forehead.
Justin laughed and swatted his hand away, "Fuck you old man, I do not have wrinkles." He teased.
"Well something's got you distracted. Let me see if I can fix that." Then Brian did something else he had never done before, he dropped to his knees in a shower and began sucking Justin's beautiful cock.
Justin jumped a little at the surprise of seeing Brian sink to his knees before him. Fuck, that's a gorgeous sight, he thought as he watched his cock disappear into the warm cavity and felt the head bump the back of his throat.
Daphne slid the door open as slowly as possible but the door still squeaked. She wasn't sure why she was trying to be so quiet, she was here to talk to Justin anyways. When she heard the shower running, she felt her confidence bolster. It would be easier to say if he wasn't looking at her.
She knocked quietly and opened the door. She could see his figure in the shower but the tiles obstructed any clear view of his face so she wouldn't see his reaction. Justin gasped as she entered and motioned for Brian to keep sucking him. He prayed the water would stifle any noise. He hoped to get rid of her quickly but didn't want to scare her off before she told him what the hell was going on.
"What's going on Daph?" he managed to ask without moaning. Brian was taking a perverse delight in the unwilling audience and would probably be laughing if his mouth wasn't full of cock.
"Do I meddle too much?"
"Huh?" Justin asked, really not having enough blood left in his head to handle the conversation at hand.
"Do you hate that I get so involved in your love life? Just answer me. I won't get mad, I promise." She pushed.
"I think you love me and sometimes that love causes you to get a little over-involved in my love life." He answered as diplomatically as possible. But your presence now makes you really over-involved.
"I do love you." She confirmed sincerely but in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper.
"I know, I love you too." Justin answered still having no idea what brought on this conversation and hoping that was the end of it.
"No, I think I'm in love with you." She admitted nervously.
Justin stared blankly at Brian for what seemed like forever, paralyzed in fear and uncertainty. Brian pulled off, knowing that this bit of raunchy fun was turning too serious for him to keep going. He stayed on his knees and kept quiet, mostly out respect for Justin. "Daphne, I don't know how to respond to that except to say that I'm flattered and we clearly need to talk but let me finish my shower first and process this, okay?" Justin admitted panic-stricken and feeling sick to his stomach. He had never imagined Daphne felt anything remotely close to what she was confessing and the fear of what this would do to his friendship with her was almost too much to consider. Plus, she would despise Brian for having heard her confess to a weakness such as being in love. It was a total invasion of her privacy although not really his fault. Why hadn't he just told her Brian was in there with him?
Daphne left the bathroom and thankfully went to her bedroom so Justin could usher Brian back to his own room undetected.
"I have to talk to her…" Justin started to explain before getting cut off by Brian.
"It's fine. Lindsay and I went through something similar. You'll be fine. It's just, um, you are gay right? Not bi, I mean, there's no chance…."
Justin laughed because Brian looked so cute trying not to look too worried and smiled reassuringly with placing a small kiss to his chin, "Brian, I'm gold-star gay. There is no chance."
Brian dressed quickly and left back to his place. Justin took a deep breath and knocked on Daphne's door. He plopped down on the other side of her bed and she took another disconcerting deep breath as if there was more honesty coming his way. "Did Eric tell you about our conversation after I left that night when we went out for Mexican?"
Justin shook his head back and forth unable to form a single coherent thought.
"He said something and I was so pissed. He accused me of being jealous of him because he was your lover and I never will be."
"Daph…that's ridiculous." Justin protested.
"I know, I thought so too only I went to Fiona's because I was so pissed. After she and I talked about it some more; I started thinking about things. Then last night, when you brought Eric to the dinner, I realized, I was jealous of him."
"Well maybe that's just normal, friend jealousy." Justin suggested.
"Then last night, I tried to have sex with Tom, Michelle's brother, and even he knew."
"Daphne, I don't understand what you're saying. You know I'm gay. You were the first person I told. You've never had a problem with it, so what's changed?"
"I'm sorry! I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally but I am jealous, well was, jealous of Eric because he knew you better than me and he got to share something with you that I don't. I thought that the jealousy was normal, just like having to share your best friend kind of way. But then you got interested in Brian and that scared me even more. I don't want you to be with Brian."
"Why? I still don't understand."
"It sounds crazy when I say it out loud and I don't want you to hate me."
"Daphne, I could never hate you. Brian is really complicated; I know you're just being protective of me."
"…but that's not what bothers me. Okay here goes…I knew you were gay since what thirteen, fourteen? Only you never did anything sexual so it wasn't very real to me. Then when you were with Eric; it was easier for me to think of you without the gay label. Not that Eric was a woman or even feminine but it's just there was always this thought in the back of my mind that it wasn't that different, topping a man and being with a woman, so I don't know, it was just a silly fantasy that one day there would be a moment where you wanted me, in that way, maybe that you were bi or something, I know it's totally ridiculous."
"Daphne, being gay is about who you're attracted to, it doesn't matter who you're having sex with or if you're having sex at all, it's the same reason gay men married to women are still gay. Sexual behavior is not the same as sexual orientation. I could have sex with you but I would still be gay, you know that right?"
I know that, just let me finish please. After you were with Brian and you were just so excited about being with him, letting him inside you and you just looked so love struck and there was just like sparks going off between you two, nothing like with Eric, and it hit me hard. I always knew you were gay but it just finally hit me that I could never make you happy like that. That it was never going to be more. After you told me that you didn't want anything long-term with him; I think I felt relieved."
Justin hugged Daphne who started to tear up a little. He had never seen his best friend quite so emotionally raw as she was at this minute.
"I always thought you were totally okay with me being gay. I don't understand how I didn't know you were feeling like this."
Daphne shook her head, "I'm not sure I'm making any sense, it doesn't really make any sense. It's just I'm jealous and I look at you and I want to kiss you and I don't know how to make that go away."
"Daphne, I don't know what to say. I love you too but you're right, I'm not ever going to be with you like that. You're my best friend and I don't want that to change but Brian is going to be a part of my life and if we are going to live together, you are going to have to be able to handle that. I don't want to hurt you but I think I might be falling for him. I can't give him up, please don't ask me to do that."
Daphne stared into Justin's eyes and imagined not being part of his life and him not being part of hers. It was unimaginable. "I wouldn't. I'm actually telling you because I think it's time for me to be honest with myself that my love life is a train wreck and I wanted you to know so I can start to get over obsessing about you and start to deal with my own shit, with your help of course."
"Anything" Justin insisted.
"Well first, can we get some lunch? I'm starving!"
Justin felt guilty, he had agreed to lunch with Brian but surely he would understand needing to help Daphne after what he overheard in the shower.
"What?" Daphne asked, detecting Justin's guilt.
"It's fine. I sort of made lunch plans with Brian but I can totally cancel them."
"No, don't do that. Call him and ask if you can bring your hag? I mean, if you like him that much, I should get to know him better, right?"
"Are you sure?"
Daphne smiled and nodded but was thinking this was the worst suggestion she had ever made. Damn Tom, damn him for being so practical and telling her she was going to lose Justin all together if she didn't start to deal with her feelings. Damn him for being right.
Brian was surprised by the invite but relieved to get one. Daphne was more like Lindsay than he had ever imagined which meant he would probably like her if he got to know her. At least she had good taste in men, he thought with a chuckle, as he opened the door to the Liberty Diner and all three of them turned to check out the same young busboy that had muscles to spare and an ass that rivaled Justin's in its voluptuousness.
Justin giggled as he slid next to Daphne in the leather booth, "You're still looking on the wrong team sweetie" he whispered and saw her blush.
"He could be bi?" she teased.
"Who him?" Brian asked. "Definitely not bi!" he answered, tongue in cheek, with a wink while still firm enough to prove he had clear and convincing evidence to the man's complete devotion to dick.
"Brian, do you know any straight men? Daphne's on the market." Justin asked, figuring the best way to get over him would be to get under someone else, preferably an open-minded, but straight, hunk.
"No set ups" She begged and shot Justin a warning glare.
"Well that cop you fucked to get me the ticket was pretty hot." Brian confessed feigning annoyance.
Daphne flinched, embarrassed by her poor reaction to his behavior when they first met. "Yeah, Brandon?" she guessed.
"Brayden" Justin corrected, "If I can remember his name and I didn't even fuck him, why can't you?"
"Because I did" came out of Daphne's mouth at the same time Brian answered, "Because she did" which sent all three of them into hysterics.
Justin just sighed and relaxed as he listened to the easy banter that Daphne and Brian fell into; it was strangely comfortable being their third wheel. There was no denying it, seeing them together up close; Brian and Daphne were really pretty alike. Their passion, their intellect, their wit all pretty much the same….it was as if he was dating the gay version of his best friend, which oddly felt perfect.
"Brian, do you have plans tonight?" Daphne asked as she finished her salad.
"Not really. You're going to your brother's wedding, right?"
"Yeah, I wonder if you want to go as my date?" Daphne asked confidently.
"What?" Justin and Brian asked at the same time.
"Yeah, it's perfect. We can all hang out together. I know Justin wants to spend more time with you and Eric won't care."
Brian looked to Justin for permission which he did not seem to be giving.
"Um, Daphne, that's going to be weird for Eric, I think" Justin confessed not really sure where Eric would fall on the matter, "I want you to go but I don't want Eric to be uncomfortable." He assured Brian, praying he would understand.
"Well call him and ask him" Daphne ordered with a nudge of her elbow, "This will be perfect, and I want to tell Michelle we're in a committed ménage. Her head will spin around."
"DAPHNE!" Justin yelled in shock. "You cannot torment the bride on her wedding day for fun and you can't keep company with a bunch of queers, you have to start coming to terms with the fact that you're not a gay man."
Brian laughed, thinking how much Debbie would appreciate Daphne as well, actually all of his family would love them both, if only they were around.
"Fine" she said, pouting. "No ménage, but still come anyway."
Justin texted Eric who confirmed he wouldn't care and Justin finally relented after Daphne promised legitimate time would be spent flirting with straight men. Brian even offered to help weed out any closet cases.
"What the hell have I gotten myself into?" Justin asked, feeling very apprehensive about being on a date to a straight wedding at a very uptight country club with his best friend who was in love with him, an ex he was still trying to be friends with and a man who he had fallen head over heels for. It was going to be an epically interesting night.
A/N: Thanks for the great response to this story. I am having so much fun with it. I hope we can all start rooting for Daphne now, poor girl, she's trying to do the right thing. Please keep the reviews coming, it does really help the chapters come faster.