Brian closed his eyes but flashes of Justin's tear stained cheeks danced behind his eyelids and sleep remained elusive. As he held Justin in his arms and let the man softly cry, he knew without a doubt. He said no sarcastic words, there were no uncomfortable moments, and he hadn't even conjured up any strategies to manipulate him into bed. He just held him with a deep desire to provide whatever comfort his arms offered. Thirty-five fucking years of denying loves existence only to be proven wrong by one, perfect smile. Mikey was going to have a conniption when he told him, if he got a chance to tell him. He wasn't so sure there would be.

Justin lay on his side, snuggled up against Brian on his couch. His mind kept continuously reworking both the look of horror on Daphne's face and the one of love on Eric's. There was no denying it, being with Brian was causing the two closest people in his life pain. Only instead of being considerate of their feelings, he had been a selfish asshole. So selfish, that even after what he had done, he didn't think he could give Brian up. It was an unbearable decision, like asking a parent to choose which child they would save if they could only pick one. Daphne was with him through every dark moment of his life. She was his rock, his best friend; he didn't know what he would do without her and he didn't know how to fix it.

"Hey, ssshhh" Brian whispered, calmly rubbing his back. "It's okay" he repeated wishing he had been able to convince Justin to go to his bed. It was late and Justin kept drifting off, then snapping back awake when Brian would shift even slightly under him. Brian couldn't help relish the time spent on this ugly, lumpy couch that Justin said had been with him and Daphne from their first place, holding the man he loved. After all, it was this couch that brought Justin to him even if it was in a roundabout rom-com sort of way. Unfortunately, Brian grew uncomfortable trying to stay still long enough so Justin could get into a deep sleep and he knew they couldn't spend the night like this, not on this couch.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to your bed?" Brian asked again.

Justin shook his head, "I need to be here when she comes home."

Brian just nodded, he debated telling Justin about his similar friend-crush issues with Lindsay but he suspected this was different enough to not be helpful. Lindsay may have had a fantasy or two that included being with Brian but she had Melanie, she wanted Melanie. It wasn't the same; what Daphne felt for Justin was more intense, and there was more on the line.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked.

Justin met Brian's eyes with a pained look that gave him his answer.

"I'll go" Brian sighed, sitting up on the couch as Justin moved his arm off his chest.

"I'm sorry" Justin responded, "I need to talk to her and it will be better alone."

"I understand" he nodded, walking to the door, not even bothering with his shoes. "Are you still up for our date tomorrow?" Brian tried to ask casually but the thought of Justin walking away from him, from what was building between them, was giving him palpitations.

"Of course, I'm looking forward to it." He smiled reassuringly. "Brian, I'm really sorry. I wish this wasn't happening."

"Don't apologize. I understand." You haven't hurt me; at least not yet. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

Justin nodded and walked him towards the door. He wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his jaw. "Tomorrow" he confirmed.

Justin lay back down on the couch and fought the urge to sleep waiting for Daphne. By four am, he knew she wasn't coming home and he dozed off and on restlessly, still on the couch.

It was almost seven by the time Daphne entered her apartment, carrying her dress and shoes from the wedding and wearing a pair of men's basketball shorts and a Nike t-shirt. Her hair was bushy, having undergone none of her usual taming ritual or showered since the removal of her up-do she wore to the wedding. She was, in short, a hot mess. Justin stirred at hearing the door open and wiped his eyes to encourage them to open more fully.

"Hey" she greeted him with a smile, "why are you on the couch?"

"I fell asleep waiting on you. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine" She laughed hoping her true emotions were safely tucked away, "I, um, didn't get much sleep so I'm going to go back to bed."

"Daphne" Justin pleaded, "Don't you think we should talk this out?"

"Jus, you act like I've never had a sleepover before. What's the big deal?"

Justin wasn't buying her clueless act, "you know that's not what I meant. Besides sleeping at Eric's is not what I would call a sleepover"

"I went home with Tom, Michelle's brother. He's nice and I really need to get to sleep because we are going out tonight." She boasted matter of fact, like this was a normal thing for her to announce.

"You" Justin paused to try and process the information, "You are going on a date"

"Yes, silly. I am going on a date. I told you I needed to get a social life."

"So, you're fine, with me and Brian, with last night. You looked pretty upset."

Daphne forced a dismissive laugh as genuine as she could. God this is never going to work. "Well I was a bit shocked seeing you and Brian together and I can't even tell you how pissed I would be if my family found out you were fucking someone at Daniel's reception, but I was just coming to tell you I was going home with Tom anyways…."

Justin's worry lines disappeared as a smile spread across his face. Fuck, Daphne thought, I should be an actress. She moved towards him and gave him a brief hug, "I guess some of us just know how to control ourselves in public better than others." She teased hoping it would seal the deal convincing Justin she was fine.

Daphne proceeded to her room and closed the door, sinking to the floor while leaning against it. She hadn't lied, she did go home with Tom and she did have a date, a real date, with him tonight. Only they hadn't had sex. He wouldn't until she was over her feelings for Justin but he made a strong case for unrequited love paling in comparison to the feeling you get when you're loved back. Daphne wanted to know if he was right. Tom had such an artist-bohemian spirit; he read poetry, he talked about things that deeply mattered to him with passion, but he was also just fun and Daphne found that she liked being with him and that she was attracted to him. She even managed to stop obsessing about Justin for most of the night. "Fake it till you make it" were Eric's last parting words to her last night. Maybe there was something to it.

Justin crawled into his own bed and pulled the pillow from the other side under his face. It smelled like Brian and he breathed it in deep. Daphne had never purposely lied to him before but he knew what she was up to just as he knew what Eric was up to as soon as he got plastered at the wedding. They were both going to go out of their way to pretend they were fine with him and Brian, only he didn't know if pretending he was buying it was the right thing to do. Did he want to be the type of friend that put his needs, his wants, in front of his friends' feelings? Eventually the truth would come out and he might lose all of them.

Justin gave up trying to really sleep and turned on some music in the kitchen while fixing some food before he left to go paint. The Bleacher's song, I want to Get Better, was on and he laughed recalling how he and Daphne had danced around the first time they had heard it because of its upbeat pop-rock feel and anthem worthy lyrics before they realized the lyrics were pretty dark and the song wasn't as joyous as the music made you think it was. He knew Daphne was trying to sleep but the song just begged to be blasted, so he turned it up and waited.

Daphne heard the song and started laughing while lying in bed. Justin knew her too well. She got up and joined him in the kitchen wearing an oversized t-shirt and big fluffy purple slippers and he grabbed her hands and they bounced around screaming the lyrics, "I didn't know I was lonely until I saw your face" and by the time they got to "That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself, Hey, I wanna get better!" they were pumping alternating fists into the air and laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. When the song was over, she gave him a real hug and he kept her in his arms until he was ready to let her go despite her numerous attempts to pull away, which caused her to start giggling.

"Now, are you really okay with what happened?" he asked her cupping his hands on her cheeks, sensing she was ready for the real answer.

"No, but I'm going to be." She responded sincerely and turned to get back to bed letting her fingers slide past his arm until only their fingertips touched before she thought of what the old her would say in the same situation, "By the way, Brian's really hung. We should all be so lucky."

"Daphne!" Justin faked a gasp of shock, fanning himself with his hand.

She laughed before going back to her bedroom and closing the door. Fake it till you make it, my ass, Eric. She could never fake things with Justin.

Justin cleaned up his mess and headed out to his studio, making a quick detour to Eric's. He was feeling pretty empowered by his morning with Daphne and was hoping for a similar response from Eric. Only when he knocked a really hot, half-dressed, guy answered the door and informed him Eric was still in the shower. So he saved his conversation with Eric for another time and turned away, shaking his head and making a mental note to start calling before coming over.

Brian woke up making quick preparation of his loft. Since he had a regular cleaning lady twice a week, he only needed to change his sheets, tidy up his bathroom and made a quick clean out of spoiled leftovers from his fridge. He checked his supply of condoms and lube before heading out for his Sunday routine; grabbing the paper and eating some breakfast at the diner before heading to work. He found he was too nervous to really work on anything, so he confirmed his date plans and made a few calls when he knew people wouldn't be available. By three, he was headed home to get ready.

Justin blasted the music in his studio so loudly he missed his alarm beeping on his phone. He was in a zone and the canvas he started at the onslaught of his heartbreak over Brian was turning into a much livelier piece. It was an abstract and the cool orange and blue tones melted the intensity of the harsher charcoal grey. It was really starting to come together; Justin loved it and he planned to give it to Brian once it was done. He glanced at his phone and noticed it was almost quarter till four. Fuck! Brian was supposed to pick him up at four.

At four on the dot, Brian slipped on his shoes and walked down the stairs with the supplies he had readied. He wore dark wash jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt, casual but confident he looked good. His hair was cooperating in the humidity, he had sprayed a light spritz of his best cologne and his body was impeccably groomed. He had shaved his face and chest, plucked the five gray hairs he found and few stray eyebrow hairs and neatly trimmed his other hair. He knocked on Justin's door and found it slightly open so he entered, hearing only obscenities coming from Justin's room. The vulgar words making no sense until he arrived at Justin's doorway; seeing him in underwear tearing through the items in his sparse closet, cursing his lack of paint-free options.

"Hi" Brian laughed at the flustered scene, "the door was open so I let myself in."

"Thank God" Justin smiled seeing Brian's casual attire and grabbing his nicest jeans and a red shirt from the pile he discarded as too casual. "I realized I didn't know where we were going so I wasn't sure how to dress. Sorry I am running a bit behind. Do you want some wine why you wait? There's a bottle on the counter. I hope we are eating early because I didn't have a chance to eat lunch."

Brian grabbed Justin as he tried to slide by him and snaked his arm around Justin's waist to slow his rush. He pulled him in for a little kiss. "Calm down. We have time." Brian said. He didn't want to start their evening with Justin anxious and flustered.

Justin deepened their kiss and pushed for more. "Not that much time" Brian smiled. "Later. Now get dressed, I can't be responsible for my actions with your ass exposed."

Justin laughed and wiggled his backside for Brian's benefit but finished dressing quickly while Brian opened the wine. By the time he joined him in the kitchen; it was getting dangerously close to time to go.

Brian was being elusive to their destination but told him to bring a light jacket so he assumed it was outside. The destination became clear as they pulled into a line of cars waiting for entry into a large outdoor concert area near the park they had come with Gus.

"What's going on" Justin asked, "Who's playing?"

"Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra is doing an outdoor concert. Have you ever been?"

Justin laughed, "Only to a few recitals while in school. There was this one violin student, Ian or Ethan, something like that, who was constantly coming on to me when I was with Eric. He was so obnoxiously full of himself that I sort of avoided symphony events because I knew he would be there. I do love classical music though."

"I know" Brian smiled, "Eric told me."

Brian parked the car and pulled the picnic he had actually made with his own two hands, wine, and a blanket from the back of his car. Justin grabbed the picnic basket so one of Brian's hands were free and they walked hand and hand to the large field that sloped down towards a stage. The concert was open seating but there was a reserved area that Brian had taken advantage of a few connections to get a spot in. It was closest to the stage and to the spot where they would launch the sunset hot air balloon trip he had reserved for them after the concert. It was perhaps over the top in the romantic department but it was on his bucket list and when he saw it was offered after the concert, he jumped at the chance, hoping it would impress Justin as well.

"Oh my, how beautiful" Justin gasped at seeing the field of colorful balloons lined up behind the hill where concert goers crowded. He didn't ask if they were going on one because he didn't want Brian to think the concert wasn't enough.

Brian stared into Justin's eyes as they spread-out the blanket, "My thoughts exactly" he smiled flirtatiously. "Do you want to eat now? I know you were hungry."

Justin nodded, "Please. What are we having?"

"I made gazpacho. It's a cold soup, have you had it? There's also fresh fruit, cheese and crackers, and cucumber with feta for snacks. I made this shrimp dish for the main course."

"Wow, you made all this. It looks wonderful. I didn't think you cooked." Justin teased making a cheese and cracker for Brian and then one for him.

Brian stuck his tongue out and bit the inside of his cheek, "Just because I don't cook doesn't mean I can't. I learned after all my friends and Debbie moved away, eating alone kind of sucks but eating out every meal is very bad for the waistline."

Justin grabbed two plates from the picnic basket and made up a plate for each of them. He was very surprised, he had assumed Brian was taking him to a club which would have been fine but this was better than fine. He loved this. It was perfect because it was romantic and fun but relaxing, all ideal date conditions. They ate and talked, waiting for the concert to start. Justin told him about his pseudo-talk with Daph and Eric's hot man. Brian didn't tell Justin but that particular detail wasn't a surprise to him. He had texted Eric when he sent his best driver to pick him up from the wedding. This particular driver, Roberto, always made sure to come when expected and never disappointed in his customer service.

Brian shared more insights about his own life in particular his relationship with Debbie and he made an offer to take Justin to Florida so they could meet sometime.

"You want me to meet your mom?" Justin asked, touched by the offer.

"Well not my real mom, no one wants to meet her, but Debbie, sure. She will love you."

"I would love to meet her." Justin gushed, his voice up an octave too high.

Brian teased him and kissed him again just as the orchestra took the stage. The concert was amazing, the music romantic and Justin settled against Brian's body while they listened. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin's chest and leaned in every once in a while to steal a kiss or nuzzle his neck. Justin would turn and meet his lips and give him his million-watt smile. They date was going so fucking perfect, then right before sunset their balloon pilot approached them and told them all was ready and he would meet them by the yellow and red balloon.

Just when Brian didn't think Justin could smile any bigger he practically leapt up and pulled Brian up and into his arms unable to remove or temper his huge grin. "This is so fucking perfect." Justin cooed, "I always wanted to go on one before. Thank you!"

Brian nodded and pulled his wrist back when he started to move towards the balloon. "Before we go up there, I want to ask you something." Brian smiled sheepishly like he was embarrassed which Justin found adorable. "I would, um, ask you up there but we will have company."

"Okay, what is it?" Justin asked feeling like he was melting into his love-puddle of gooeyness again.

"Well, at the wedding, you never said it but when I take you to meet Debbie, I would like to call you my boyfriend. So I guess I want to make sure you are okay with that."

Justin smiled and kissed Brian, "Yeah, I think that I'm really okay with that," he answered as he took his hand and walked over to the balloon.

The trip was amazing and you could see a million colors as the sun set. Justin kept trying to take mental notes of the colors to include in his latest piece. Brian watched amused before finally asked him if he wanted his camera. Justin accepted enthusiastically not sure why he hadn't thought to use the one on his phone but grateful Brian had a much nicer camera in his bag.

"I thought you might need this." Brian smiled as he offered the camera. Another win from Eric's tutorial was Justin's mental picture taking. Brian wondered why Eric never thought to offer a real camera but he was glad to have thought that one up on his own.

Justin took a few pictures and even managed some selfies of the both of them. "This was so amazing" he praised Brian's entire date plan to an embarrassing degree.

"I hope I didn't set the bar too high" Brian smirked and clarified seeing Justin's confused look, "You know, since now it will be your turn to impress me."

Justin play slapped at his shoulder, "How about I impress you in other ways?" he asked, meaning his artwork but knowing Brian would take it as innuendo just the same. It surprised him when Brian didn't seem to be that concerned by his comment and he took that as a positive sign.

They drove home in easy comfort and Brian asked Justin if he wanted to stay the night before they even left the jeep. Justin was elated that he was asked early enough so he could grab some things to make him more comfortable and clothes for work tomorrow so he could get ready at Brian's. It was very convenient living one floor away but he liked the idea of showering with him in the morning and riding to work with him like a real couple would.

They settled into Brian's bed with shirts off and jeans unbuttoned kissing softly. "Today might have been my most perfect date ever." Justin admitted, running a hand over Brian's smooth chest.

"That's good to know, since it was my first time planning one."

Justin couldn't help but chuckle at that fact, "and I'm your first boyfriend."

Brian nodded, "yep" he confirmed.

"So that word typically implies some things" Justin remarked.

"I know" Brian said elusively.

"Well" Justin prompted.

"Well what?"

"Well does that mean we are committed to each other?"

"Yes"

"Does it mean that I can come over whenever I want?"

"Yes"

"Does it mean that I won't find other men here when I come over?"

Brian paused although he knew the answer, this pause was just to briefly mourn his own past, "Yes" he finally responded.

Justin smiled relief and thought maybe he would push his luck, "Does it mean I get to fuck you?"

Brian rolled on his side and slid his hand down into Justin's pants, feeling his cock as if he was inspecting the organ's worthiness to be inside his body. Justin's cock grew harder in his hand and he felt what he had before, the urge to have it inside him. "Yes" he whispered seductively into his ear while moving his hand up and down the shaft.

It was all the encouragement Justin needed to take charge. He pushed his jeans down over his hips and kicked them off, never moving too much that Brian had to stop what he was doing.

"Flip around, I want to suck you while you do that" Justin ordered, wasting no time in removing Brian from his jeans as well. Brian did as asked and gave his hand job more enthusiastically feeling Justin's mouth on him. While Justin worked his cock with his mouth, he also started fingering him, working him open for what was to come. Brian placed the lube near Justin's reach and felt the cold tingle on his puckered hole for the first time in a long time. He was breathless with anticipation. Justin fingered him and sucked him deep into his mouth until he exploded, shooting ribbons down the back of Justin's throat which vibrated as he moaned. Once Brian had finished, Justin turned around and motioned for him to roll over, climbing up his back to align their bodies. Brian was nice and open so he placed a condom and thrust forward slowly applying the requisite pressure until he felt his cock breach the first rim. He gave Brian only a few inches before pulling back and nudging forward, testing, teasing. Brian grunted and pushed against him, hoping to get his point across with his movement and his noises. He was no virgin and he wanted it all. He needed it all.

Justin noticed and his nostrils flared in excitement. He felt Brian arch his back, giving him a deeper angle so he seated his entire length in Brian in one fast thrust, earning him a startled gasp. He stayed there and let him adjust, breathing warm ear on the back of Brian's neck. Brian turned his neck, the position allowing only a quick kiss but long enough for Justin to see the lusty haze in Brian's hazel eyes. He could see the warring in Brian's expression between lust and hesitation. Justin pulled back so far he thought he might come out before shoving back into Brian in a way that highlighted his length, which was considerable for a man his size although not as big as Brian. The move sent shockwaves through Brian's body as the head of Justin's cock hit his prostate, then he did it again and mother of God, did he just feel good. Brian felt himself climb higher with each thrust before he came again, hard and fast and slightly disorienting in its strength. Justin didn't relent and he fucked him through his orgasm and for ten additional strokes before roaring through his own release. He stayed there, breath panting on the back of Brian's shoulder, waiting for the aftershocks to subside. Brian's heart beat so hard he thought it might rip right through his chest, exposing its existence for the first time to another soul and then he realized, for as vulnerable as he now was with Justin, he might as well just let it.