You felt proud of yourself. For the first time since...well you couldn't remember the last time this happened, you dodged your dad's incredibly spongy Betty Crocker cake. You told him you weren't all that hungry so he set the cake aside, and you couldn't feel prouder of your clever lie. You almost felt unstoppable. If you could lie about not being hungry, then what else could you lie about? This power was almost too much.
You walk up the stairs, and head back into your room, admiring Nic Cage's beautiful face and his powerful nose plastered on your wall, specifically from the movie Ghost Rider (the first one of course). You weren't sure you'd ever get tired of him and his perfection. But your distraction was split when you heard an onslaught of pings coming from your computer, and decided to check it out. You moved the mouse around so the computer would wake up, and saw the pings were coming from your pesterchum. You were surprised to see someone new messaging you; probably that guy from that Dave Strider fansite, considering all your other friends were usually idle or offline at this time.
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering EctoBiologist [EB] at 23:15 -
TG: Hey it's me, TheGodlyWorm
TG: From that badass Dave Strider fansite
EB: youre stupid if you think that's badass
EB: since youre a guy and seems to be infatuated with Dave I would say youre extremely homo
TG: The hell. You don't have to want his dick to see how great of a guy Dave is
TG: Why do you keep accusing me of being homo? Usually the accuser is actually the accused
EB: just calling it as i see it
TG: You said you'd prove why Dave is such a dumbass. So far you're doing the exact opposite of what you intended to do.
EB: first off a) he's from texas
TG: What's so bad about texas?
EB: b) he never removes those shades
EB) c) ive never seen him smile just smirk aka number 1 sign of a douche
TG: You're a dumbass. I already told you, he does this shit to be ironic
EB: d) he tries to be ironic and fails
EB: e) he seems arrogant! i mean i get it hes 17 and pretty famous but hes let it go way too far to his head and someone needs to pop his ego. it's like a malignant tumor!
TG: Did you just compare his ego to a tumor. My grandma has a tumor and she's about to die in two days. How do you feel now you fuckwit
EB: oh
EB: im so sorry!
TG: I don't actually have a grandma, just testing to see how much of an ass you are
EB: think I might hate you more than Dave :B
TG: Lucky me. Where's my prize?
EB: you can eat my crap if you want hehe
TG: I'll kick your ass first
EB: while you trip over my crap
TG: Sounds fair enough.
EB: what age are you?
EB: just so I know im not talking to some 40 year old
TG: I'm 5
EB: are you serious omg
TG: What the hell do you think
TG: I'm 17
EB: yeah same
EB: just turned 17 last week actually
EB: What country are you from?
TG: Happy late birthday
TG: and North Pole
TG: Get to talk with Santa and shit
TG: He gives me candy and toys while I'm up there
EB: thanks! haha good to know
EB: im from america
TG: What state?
EB: washington.
TG: Sucks for you, heard it rains a lot there. I'm from Texas.
EB: Oooh like you're mancrush Dave Strider
TG: This will be the first and last time I tell you, Dave is not my mancrush. He's just a great guy I admire a ton
EB: sounds like a mancrush to me
EB: here since you told me your mancrush ill tell you mine
TG: Please don't
EB: It's Nic Cage
TG: You're kidding
TG: Nic Cage doesn't know how to act to save his life.
TG: If someone held a gun to his head and told him to act properly he would get killed
TG: Since he can't act to save his life
EB: Take that back you monster. Nic Cage is a god
TG: Oh yeah? Do you know he has a son, who he obviously doesn't give a singular shit about
EB: no wtf hes very supportive of his children. why do you know he has kids if you don't like him
TG: He looks constipated in all his photos with his son. Do you honestly think he likes being around him
TG: Be completely fucking honest, no bs
EB: no he looks very happy with him
TG: You're a dumbass
EB: creative insult
EB: totally never heard that one before!
TG: It's because it's true. You're a total dumbass
EB: sorry couldnt hear you
EB: might have to say it again
TG: That was a lame attempt at sarcasm. Don't try it again
EB: me? sarcastic? noooo
TG: So you sarcastic little shit, what's your name?
EB: if you MUST know...its John
TG: That was somehow anticlimactic
EB: whats yours?
TG: Can't tell you. If we ever meet in person I'll tell you though
EB: thats oddly suspicious
EB: what about if we webcam?
TG: Nah, it'd be better if we met in person.
EB: you sure youre not some gay pedophile coming to snatch me?
TG: Whoa, you're right! I just checked my birth record and it said I'm 40! Not 17! Wow sure fucked up that one
EB: okay okay i was just asking a question! jeez
TG: Nah but really, if I ever do happen to meet you in real life, then I'll tell you my name.
EB: haha aren't you jumping ahead too much?
EB: We barely started talking like 2 hours ago and you're already saying we'll meet in person :B
TG: I'm not saying shit you gumwad. I'm just saying, if it ever does happen...You can refer to me TG for now though
EB: um okay? thats weird
EB: I guess ill call you TG
EB: you know this convo really spiraled out of control. what we were even talking about?
TG: We were talking about how amazing Dave Strider is
EB: aah of course we were! because I would do that
TG: Yup you would
TG: Here, he just released a new song. Listen to it.
EB: ...
EB: yup still hate him. But a little less though since he seemed to actually show a little emotion in this song
TG: See, you're going to hate him less and less until suddenly bam
TG: You're obviously homo ass is lusting after his dick
EB: why would only my ass be gay why not my whole body
EB: cmon TG gotta use your brain!
TG: You get what I mean Johnny boy
EB: hey well listen mystery (maybe)pedo I have to go take a shower and go to bed so ill talk to you tomorrow
TG: Alright, talk to you later.
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:32 -
You sit in front of his computer, and crack your knuckles. You decide whoever this person that you're talking to is a complete ass, but one you can tolerate. You have your suspicions about why he's so obsessed with Dave but you'll keep them to yourself (the primary suspicion being that he actually is Dave Strider, which you think would make you laugh your ass off if that ended up being true, because really, what 17 year old year old boy is that obsessed with Dave?). Snapping yourself out of your very humorous thought you stand up and grabs some pajamas, and walk over to the bathroom to take a shower, ready to get prepared for a good nights rest.
A/N
Hey guys thank you so much for reviewing, it really means a lot! Love y'all and I hope you guys are having a great day :) What do you think of this chapter? Anything I should change or edit?