Shepard carefully tightened the gloves around his hands as he walked down the hallway. His pace was fast, determined and eager to leave this place. He took a quick moment to scan around the corners for any person, human or quarian, before briskly headed toward the docking tubes.

The black armor that he'd stolen from the shuttle was a tight fit, hastily appropriated, but it was necessary at the moment. He knew that the sight of his form was somewhat of an acquired taste, something the quarians had yet to add to their palette, from all of their experience with rogue, hostile synthetics.

His omni-tool pinged. It was a message from Garrus, apparently the ship was all warmed up and they could leave on a moment's notice. Good thing too, all of the Cerberus troops had beat a hasty retreat after their defeat not half an hour ago. They were in the clear as far as they were concerned.

But something still plagued Shepard. After his fight with Rukin, he had abruptly left the scene, mostly in search of a new covering, but there was something else in his reasoning. He kept on telling himself that he was just avoiding the riff-raff, dodging the thousands of questions that would arise when the quarians would want to know who was responsible for pushing the invaders away, trying to keep his name down low.

That wasn't the real reason for his departure and he knew it. He still was unwilling to back there and face her, after what he did…what he said-

"Shepard! Wait!"

How the hell did she-

He stopped dead in his tracks, huffing at the fact that he could see the docking tube mere meters away. So close and yet so far. Shepard's back was to her and he slumped in response.

"Hello…Tali."

Slowly turning around, he didn't even want to know how she managed to procure a new visor on such short notice (universal design, perhaps, with a lot of spares). His gaze was transfixed by sadness behind his helmet, not that she would ever know. Perhaps she now realized how difficult it was to perceive emotions behind a mask. But why would he be so insensitive as to make that comparison out loud?

Instead he shook his head, "You should be resting, Tali. You need to recover."

"That can wait," she said crossly, "How come you're leaving already?"

"Tali," he raised a hand to his chest in defense, "I didn't want to, but it's something I have to do. It's…complicated…"

"'Complicated?' That's the biggest understatement I've ever heard! Keelah, Shepard…I thought…I thought you had died and now you come back and won't even acknowledge me anymore?" She stepped forward towards him, "You didn't think to explain your situation to me? I would have understood if…if you had sent a message…"

Shepard winced, "Tali, I know I handled this poorly, but I didn't want you to know…about this."

"You lied to my face and then scared me half to death, I'm not sure how I should feel when the-" she paused for a quick second, "When the man I respected would have tried to-"

"I didn't want to hurt you, Tali!" Shepard roared, making her jump back a little in fright. Growling, Shepard now reached up and grasped at his helmet, yanking it off his head and exposing the metallic surface for all to see. "Look at me, Tali. Look at me! Did you not think I would remember all of those conversations we had on the Normandy? On how your people view synthetics? I've seen you in that position on missions before, Tali. I've seen you lay mercilessly into a geth platoon and all the while you curse at them with the hatred of a thousand souls. You want to know why I hid myself from you? Because I was afraid! I was afraid of losing a friend, of that person never looking back on my memory again! I was afraid of you seeing what I'd become! I…I didn't want to hurt you, Tali…"

His voice trailed away as he suddenly sunk to his knees in the middle of the hallway. He'd given up trying to speak, words were useless at this point. What was even the reason for trying to convince her otherwise? The silence was maddening as neither one of them spoke for what seemed an eternity. Shepard closed his eyes, willing for tears somehow to produce and fall forth, perhaps showing her the sincerity of his words. Damn this body.

A soft clattering broke him out of his misfortune as a thin form hesitatingly wrapped itself around him. He blinked in confusion before he realized that Tali was hugging him, a gentle embrace that brought fire into his heart. Shepard started and frantically think of an explanation that warranted this behavior. Where had this come from?

"Tali…" he finally managed, "W-…what?"

She gently laid a hand over his artificial cheek, drawing all of his attention toward her as she leaned back from her hug, "You're alive, Shepard…you're alive…"

Shepard was still flabbergasted, "I…no….what?"

Tali was now holding the cyborg tightly as she brought herself closer for another hug. This was completely unexpected as the quarian gave no explanation for her breach in character.

"Do…do you know how much I've dreamed this would come true? That you would somehow burst into my life again like you did on the Citadel and rescue me from my dull life?

Shepard slowly pried her off her body as she seemed to bounce in place, "I know how much this means to you, Tali…" His somber voice suddenly turned light as he laughed, "Although, I do regret that I was unable to show off my good looks in the process."

Now it was Tali's turn to giggle, "You bosh'tet." She squinted her eyes behind her mask, "You do look rather…um…bad, to tell the truth. But you are aware that they can simply grow you a new skin? Shouldn't the Alliance have-"

"I am and they do," Shepard interrupted, "That actually brings me to my next point." Tali listened intently as Shepard continued, "It's taken the past few weeks for me to actually open my eyes again. I thought that the galaxy had abandoned me, that I wasn't needed anymore. Now I look at this, all of this destruction, putting my friends in jeopardy, and I'm back doing the same old thing again."

"You couldn't have possibly thought that true, Shepard!" Tali practically yelled, "You're more important than you ever could know, what you've done saved the galaxy. They would never abandon you!"

"I know that now, Tali," Shepard said sadly, "I was a fool to think that I was being disregarded when I should have realized that everyone simply moved on. I actually was dead, for all intents and purposes. It was a natural reaction that people had to my passing and I completely didn't see it."

"But…what will you do now?"

Shepard tilted his head down, "Now? If the galaxy needs me again then I'll gladly welcome my old life once more. I think I'll head back to the Citadel and reunite with some more friends, they can help me piece myself back together."

"How will you convince them that it's actually you?"

"I convinced you, didn't I?" An unseen smile crept into her features at that.

"Can…" she said haltingly, "Can I go with you?"

Shepard took a moment to seriously consider her question but she took his silence as an excuse to keep going, "I mean…if you want me with you of course. I only…there is…I…I…"

He carefully laid both hands on her shoulders, squeezing the soft material in his cold hands. She stopped stammering from his grip and looked up at him so the both of them could see the truth in each other's eyes.

"Tali," he began, "I would like nothing more than for you to come along with me. You've been a good friend to me and I really care about you." He breathed in before continuing, "But do you really think that it's a good idea for you to leave? I mean is that your ship just got attacked, your father killed, and you just want to take off? Isn't there anything that you'd want to take care of before you would want to commit to something like this?"

"I…I…" she attempted to protest some more before she slumped in his grip, "You're right, Shepard. You're completely right. I just got so caught up in the moment…seeing you alive…that I just wanted to pick up things where we left off. I mean, where we were –in the beginning - that is…"

Shepard chuckled as he slowly brought the quarian in for a hug, as the initiator this time, "Tali, don't think of it as me pushing you away. You'd do far more good here than where I'm going. Trust me, you'll be bored within ten minutes while I probably undergo questioning for a week at the Citadel. But hey, who knows? When I'm finally fixed and I get back to where I am, I'll come looking for you. That I promise."

Tali hopped giddily and Shepard tilted his head in mock thought, "Or I can just find you regardless of my status in the Alliance. I want my old crew back with me, Tali. I want my old life back. Do you believe me when I say that?"

"Of course I do," Tali breathed in earnest, activating her omni-tool simultaneously. Shepard's own tool now blinked and he opened it. He saw that Tali had added her contact information to his registry and arced his eyebrows in surprise. The quarian nodded in satisfaction, "But this way, you won't have to find me."

"That will make things easier."

"That's the point," she replied before giving the cyborg one last hug, "Keelah, I will be glad to see your normal face again. You'll talk to me often about your progress, won't you?"

"I'll have nothing but time. You can count on me." Shepard patted the quarian on the arm before turning around and scraping his heels across the dull brown metal floor, completing his initial trek to the docking tube. He didn't bother to pick up the helmet that he had carelessly flung away; it lay on its side, empty and alone.

"Don't take too long, Shepard," Tali called, "My life gets rather dull without you around, to be honest."

Shepard gave an exaggerated shrug, "I'll work on that, Miss vas Rayya."

"I'd rather be Miss vas Normandy, Shepard."

A laugh escaped his ruined throat, "I would prefer that too. But please, Tali, we've known each other long enough that calling me by my last name just seems improper now."

"B-But," she said, confused, "Everyone's always called you that before…or do you prefer 'Commander' now?"

"You don't have to use either, you can call me John."

Before she could reply back to him, the airlock door to the craft clashed together between them, causing her to jump. The last glimpse she saw of him was a posture of determination with a steely-eyed glare that spoke volumes to her. She knew that every word out of his mouth in the last fifteen minutes was nothing but the truth. She stood facing the closed door for a long time, even after the craft had departed the company of the fleet.

I've never heard anyone call him John before.

She brought a hand to her voice modulator as she supported her own head as she replayed their conversation back in her head, trying to decipher the man's motivations. But, just like the man she knew, his intentions were always too nebulous for her to determine by herself. She was probably overthinking this situation, letting hope override any rational thinking.

But wasn't it rational to hope anyway?

"John," she repeated the name as she let the foreign syllable escape her mouth, reverberating in the confines of her helmet, where the noise stayed. The feeling made Tali smile broadly. She tapped a staccato against the floor as she fought the urge to jump for joy in the middle of the hallway.

Tears came to her eyes as she started to laugh.

The cigarette smoke wafted in the air, forming spirals in the stillness. The warm glow of the dying star cast long shadows across the few objects in the room, but they went unseen due to the dark color of the polished tile.

Holographic displays lined around the chair, each exhibiting a different aspect of operations across the galaxy. The man in the chair smiled before taking another huff of the carcinogenic substance. Such items and eccentricities had long fallen out of favor with the human population but it was no small matter to clone a lung and perform a transplant these days. It was only a matter of money at this point, an aspect that mattered little to him.

The Illusive Man basked in the endless stream of data, taking comfort in his quiet little corner before one of the screens started to blink. His eyebrows shot up in anticipation. Someone was hailing him. Someone from the Far Rim.

Eager, but restrained, he activated the link between the caller, straightening in his chair a bit to clear his voice, "Henry? What have you to report?"

"It's not Rukin," a voice that was much deeper than anticipated gritted through, "It's Leng."

The Illusive Man edged forward in his seat, frowning, "Leng? What happened? Where's Rukin?"

There was a very noticeable pause on the other line, "Colonel Rukin is dead. We…failed, sir. We were unable to apprehend Shepard."

This was unexpected, "What! How is Rukin dead?"

"Apparently Shepard bested him in a fight. He tried to take the machine alive but was thwarted."

"I gave you a fleet of twenty ships and a capable commander! How is it that you were unable to capture him?"

"He had backup," Leng defended, "To Rukin's credit, he was a very accomplished strategist but Shepard and his cohorts managed to break every maneuver thrown their way. They defeated our entire invading personnel; we had no choice but to retreat."

"You're telling me that an entire legion of soldiers did not even come close to even killing him? One mentally scarred machine?"

"I told you, he had help!" Leng was now starting to sound desperate in response to his employer's ire, "There were reports of the turian and the quarian bitch that were once part of his squad-"

The Illusive Man pondered in thought. "Vakarian and Zorah…" he mused.

"Yes, them. The bitch blinded me when I was distracted. It was a mistake that I don't intend to make again."

The Illusive Man somehow found the ability to laugh, "A quarian managed to incapacitate one of my best operatives? You are correct in saying that you will never make that mistake again. You'll be lucky if you will even have the opportunity to make any mistakes from here on out if I don't have you executed for incompetence!"

"Please, sir! I was overwhelmed, I had Shepard right in front of me…I could not have known-"

"Spare me the prattle, Leng," the Illusive Man sighed, "You're just begging for an excuse for me to get you out from over the chopping block. And also, undoubtedly, to get you a new pair of eyes in the process, eyes that you lost by the way, so that you can get to your full strength again. Convince me, Leng. Why should I do this for you, to continue to invest in you, when you have failed me in this critically important assignment?"

The man on the other end paused for a moment before muttering softly, "Because I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't nimble enough and I wasn't smart enough. I was overconfident, cocky, and underestimated the strength of our enemies."

This was most certainly unexpected. The Illusive Man had never once before heard Leng admit to any faults in his methodology before. He rarely failed an assignment and was usually good enough at bullshitting to wriggle his way out of a tight spot from his disdain. Now that Leng was backed into a corner, there was nowhere to go except to swallow his pride.

He decided to be magnanimous and not rub it in the man's face too much, "It takes a certain quality to own up to one's mistakes, Leng. I'm just surprised that I would get to perceive this quality so soon. But put yourself in my position, if you were to be given a second chance, what would you have me do to feel assured that you're up for any task I designate?"

"Not just for capturing Shepard?"

"Shepard is a lost cause now. I don't think we will be able to have another opportunity now to recapture him now that he will be on his guard. He is more of a liability now than an actual asset to our cause. Instead of entertaining that idea, we shall focus more on what to do with the matter of these missing colonists. The Council still has not done anything about them and we have a duty to protect our human investments."

Leng was furious, "You would have me babysitting colonists?"

The cigarette was back in his mouth, "You're missing the point. Shepard will be bound to take notice sooner or later of this plight and our paths will eventually collide. If the opportunity presents itself for Shepard to be captured or killed, then take it, but what we need to do is to analyze this escalating situation and develop our own conclusions before he does." The Illusive Man waved a hand, the gesture unseen to the other man, "However, Shepard is notorious for being resourceful in a pinch. You would have to be prepared for the inevitable encounter with him. I don't care if you kill him or bring him in alive, I just want him to be neutralized as quickly as possible. Now, if you please, Leng, answer the question. What can I do to make sure that you succeed?"

There was nothing but static for a good ten seconds before Leng's voice mustered through, "I will need access to the advanced stock in the armory."

"Done."

"I will need dossiers on a capable crew."

"Anything else?"

"I will need a ship."

"You have twenty already Leng. What possible good could one more ship do if you have not been able to accomplish anything with twenty?"

"Screw the twenty, I just need the one."

The Illusive Man already had an answer to Leng's request, but he still sat back and delayed his response. Leng was loyal to a fault and would most likely be driven by revenge. Personal motivations were a good cause but they tended to deteriorate fast. The thought of Leng blindly pushing aside logic and reasoning in favor of his quest to satiate his bloodlust was a very real danger. Hell, Rukin would have been a better investment at this point, but the man was dead and in a body bag at this point. There was no one else who possessed the steel in their mind and the ferocity to take on such a wild beast.

It would take one to know one, after all.

"All right, Leng," the Illusive Man sighed, "If you submit to me by the end of the week your detailed plan of action and if I approve it, I will give you the coordinates to the drydock. I don't want any more unfortunate encounters like this pathetic debacle. Don't even think about reporting to me unless you have absolute good news regarding your mission at hand. If he's still out there, then you are not finished. Are we clear?"

"Understood, sir. You will get your details tomorrow. Just tell me where to go."

To be continued in Part 2: Flesh