Chapter 4: Cracks Found; Community Pillars Razed
"So, Mom," Michael began tentatively. "Why'd you change your last names? Don't you think it'll be easier to find you?"
She smiled at her son, the spitting him image of his real father, no matter what story biology or adoption records told. "Mr. Man, it's called hiding in plain sight. Take notes, kid. You've spent most of your life learning from the arrogant egoism of the men in your life so it's time to acknowledge your Spencer genetics. The first thing to know as a Spencer, hiding is not a sign of weakness and can be your best option."
Michael raised an eyebrow. "So you're saying it's not really the coward's way."
"Who told you that nonsense?" Carly sighed in annoyance before shaking her head. "Forget it. Sonny. Well, you will learn that you shouldn't always listen your father." Either of them, she thought rolling her eyes. "Sonny and Jason have done their fair share hiding. Sometimes a strategic retreat is what is required. And hiding in plain sight can be a very effective tool."
"So we'll be the Morgans," he nodded, remembering his own attempt to run and its failures and successes. "What about Morgan? He can't very well be Morgan Stone Morgan."
"He's already chosen his new name," she assured him innocently. "You're brother wants to be Spencer Stone Morgan. I told him he could drop the middle name, but he was very determined to respect Sonny as his father by retaining his contribution."
"Fine," he sighed grudgingly acknowledging his mother's attention to detail. "So where's daddy? I'm assuming we'll be using Jason in that role for the purpose of our cover."
"We lost him in an accident while driving to pick up Josslyn," she explained simply. "All truth. It's kind of ironic though that I lost both of my best friends to car accidents. Although in the case of Jason, I got him from an accident and then lost him from one. I guess it really is true, the way you get him is the way you lose him."
"Mom. I'm sorry for everything that happened." Michael took his mother's hand. "I never thought it was possible for this to happen. Everything I know about love and loyalty and family I learned from watching the way you and Jason never gave up when it mattered. The way you never quit on each other or our family."
"He chose his new family over me," she said softly before noticing the fear Michael was trying to mask. "But you can stop worrying so much. One thing I know that could never change is how much Jason loves you and your brother and sister. I know that because he loved you first. Never doubt that, ok, honey? We're not leaving because of any doubts that you kids are still a priority for Jason. We're leaving because it hurts watching him chip away at what we had and what we were to each other."
Michael squeezed his mother's hand, but she continued before he could say anything, "I'm still sorry. Momma," he whispered slipping an arm around his mom.
So am I, Mr. Man," she whispered back vaguely. "So am I."
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"Jason!" a voice called into the dark. "Jason?"
She climbed the stairs and found him sitting on the floor, staring into the hazy room. "Jason. I am so sorry. You deserve so much better than that lying tramp!"
He remained silent, not taking his eyes off of the ash-covered bed. "She's gone."
"No, Jason," she whispered reassuringly. "Sam is still at the church. She explained everything. She didn't know she wasn't Alexis's daughter. She didn't lie to you. She loves you. Helena is a sick twisted bitch, just like that vindictive harpy, Carly. Helena lied to Nikita bout everything. And of course, Carly couldn't accept that you were finally free of her and happy so—"
"Get out!" he hissed without looking up.
"Jason?" Robin asked in confusion. "I just came here because I wanted to help you."
Jason's bitter laughter filled the silence. "Like you helped me when you told AJ that he was Michael's father?"
She stared in shock. "B-but I thought—"
"GET OUT!" he roared. "You never understood. You don't know what I've lost! What I threw away! You don't know the first thing about what it means to be loyal!"
"Look, Jason, I know that you're hurting, so you don't know what you're saying—"
"Carly has always seen through you," he snapped cutting her off. "That's why you hated her. You destroyed everything in my life that had nothing to do with you! I accused Carly of that once, but it was always you!"
"Jason!" Robin stood in shock staring into eyes that only grew colder with each second that passed. "You can't still be mad at me. I just did the best I could for you and for Michael. Why can't you see I did the right thing? Michael deserved to know his father and I knew Carly would have betrayed you! And I was right! She did!"
"STOP LYING!" he bellowed. "You told the 'truth' because you were hoping that without Michael in my life, Carly would be out of the picture. Then you could come pick up the pieces. Just like every time you ran off Europe, it was to punish me for not being Stone or Jason Quartermaine."
"It wasn't like that, Jason," she cried. "We loved each other. You said I taught you how to love."
"Yeah, well, your warped version of love is what lost me my family," he sneered coldly. "You taught me that love was about fitting in and not messing up. You taught me that love is about betrayal. Carly and Michael made me understand that love could be about more than that. That it could be unconditional and messy. I don't need your help. Your help never did anything but leave me miserable and alone."
Tears poured silently down her face as she slowly backed away from the furious man before her. "You win, Jason, I'm leaving."
"What else is new? At least it's something you're good at," he snarled, turning back to the open door way.
She hurried down the stairs deep in thought. Jason is wrong. He's just hurting right now. He'll apologize when he realizes what he said. He didn't mean it.
Robin was so focused on her escape she would have missed Elizabeth Webber's arrival if she had not bumped right into her. Seeing her friend there obviously for the same purpose she'd had, she froze.
"Liz, don't go up there." She saw Liz prepared to ignore her warning and continued, "You don't understand. He is a really bad place. Carly really did a number on him and he—just don't go up there." He's just in a bad place because of Carly. He didn't mean all those things he said. This is all Carly's fault.
"I know, Robin," she whispers urgently. "But he's my friend and we have a connection. He needs me."
Without waiting for her response, Liz hurried up the stairs, while Robin rushed out of the bar shaking her head. Liz found Jason on his knees slumped over in the doorway to his old room. Damn that Carly!
"Jason," she said softly. "I came as soon as I could. My grandmother is with Cam and Aiden for the night so I can stay all night if you need me."
Jason remained silent his focus on the bed and the room in front of him.
Certain she could get him past his pain, Liz laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't," he hissed shrugging her off.
"Jason," she whimpered sad that he would push her away when it was so obvious he needed her. "I know that you are hurting. I know that you must be feeling like you're alone, but I'm here. You wouldn't leave me alone if I went through something like this. I knew you needed me, Jason." She reached out, about to touch him again. "They were never good enough for you, Jason. You are a good man with a good heart. They took advantage of that and I can't tell you how sorry I am that they hurt you. Sam and Carly were never worthy of you. You deserve—"
She was cut off by a bark of laughter erupting from the man in front of her. The fury and acrimony filling that laugh and the hallway sent chills down her spine. But it couldn't compare to the cold mockery she saw directed at her from the depth of his livid gaze.
"I deserve better, do I?" he sneered at her. "What could it be you think I deserve? Let's see. Based on your example, I deserve a woman who will only acknowledge me when it's convenient for her."
"Jason!" she cried in pain at his words. "It wasn't like that. You don't understand. You said you wanted—"
"I wanted to know my son. I wanted my son to know me. I wanted to hear him call me Daddy. That was what I wanted, but I'll never have that now."
"Jason, please! I just wanted to help you," she whimpered brokenly.
"Why me? Why was my penthouse your only option? I never asked myself that until now."
"Jason, how can you say that after all the special times we had here at Jake's? On your bike?" She leaned toward him determined to break through the wall of ice. "We connected here. It was our place, that's why I named our miracle after it."
"No, it was my place with Carly," he snapped grabbing her hand and throwing it away from him before she could touch him.
Liz wiped here tears away trying to be brave. "I never meant for us to make love that night, but we did because we needed each other."
"Did you think maybe I needed you again tonight?" Jason sneered. "What did you think would happen here?"
"I won't let you push me away, Jason." She pressed on. "We have shared so much. My God, we shared a child. I want—"
"No," he corrected her. "We made a child that you weren't interested in sharing with anyone, but Lucky. Now get out."
Liz opened her mouth to try again, but Jason cut her off viciously. "GET OUT NOW!"
Elizabeth felt true fear for the first time in his presence and ran crying out of the bar. Alone again, finally, Jason let himself break and succumbed to grief until finally sleep claimed him.