Chpt.28
Anxiously looking out the window, Livy sat in Bruce's limo as Alfred drove the two back to the manor.
It had been awhile since Livy had been in a car. She either walked, ran, or motorbiked to places she needed to go.
And when she traveled with Jason, his presence eased her worries about the space closing in on her.
As the limo continued to move, Livy took deep even breaths in and out, trying to focus on her breath than the surroundings.
Bruce didn't want to interrupt Livy from her calm breathing, so he was silent.
He wanted to ask her how long this fear had been going on and how it came about.
Bruce knew that Jason talked to Dick at times, but Dick never told Bruce much of what was going on with Jason and Livy.
The last time he had seen Livy, she was a little girl who seemed spirited but fearful of him. Aside from her age, nothing changed. Bruce knew that she was afraid of him, however, he didn't know if he wanted her to be afraid of him
The car came to a stop, and Livy quickly unbuckled her seatbelt then sprinted out of the car before Alfred could open the door for her.
"Miss Todd, are you alright?" Alfred inquired with concern.
Livy nodded her head quickly.
"I'm fine, Alfred."
Alfred opened Bruce's door, and the three made their way into the manor.
The moment Livy stepped into the room, she was engulfed in a hug and then thrown into the air, only to be caught by large hands.
"Hey Livy!" Dick beamed as he spun the small girl around.
"Hi Dick." Livy smiled, hugging the man back once she realize who he was.
Dick placed her on the ground and questioned,
"What brings you here?"
"She's going to eat dinner with us and spend the night." Bruce informed.
"Where's Jason?" Dick inquired when he noticed his that his "brother" wasn't in the group.
"He's just traveling." Livy smiled with a small shrug, but Bruce and Dick could see the sadness in her eyes.
"Why did he leave you here alone?" Dick questioned with concern in his voice, and Livy's eyebrows furrowed.
"He didn't leave me alone. My friend is in the hospital and I was so worried for her that I told Jason I wanted to stay. I don't want to leave her while she needs the help. It was my choice to stay. Not his." Livy stated firmly and Dick nodded his head.
"Understood, Livy." He gave her a soft smile that always made Livy relax a bit more. Dick was the type of Uncle that would always make Livy excited to see. Granted, Jason didn't feel especially strong ties to his family, but Dick was the "brother" he tolerated most. So while around Gotham, Dick often visited Jason and Livy.
"Wow, it's like we have the whole family together again." Dick grinned as they walked further into the manor.
"What do you mean?" Bruce inquired.
"Well-" Dick was cut off by a loud voice exclaiming,
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, DRAKE!?"
They ran into the other room where the voice originated to see Damian pinning Tim Drake to the ground.
"Dick said that it'd be okay to come for dinner, now get of me you brat." Tim stated.
"Tt. Grayson would never-"
"I did Damian, get off of him." Dick said as he ran over and pulled Damian off of Tim. However, Damian's eyes then spotted Livy.
"And what the hell are you doing here?" Damian spat. This was the first time Livy had seen Damian after their talk.
Did he almost kiss me? What exactly was going on there? He was acting so kind… but he's yelling at me. He doesn't like me. Livy, you're just crazy. She thought to herself.
"You're Dad invited me to eat here and spend the night." Livy stated. Damian eyed her up and down, then crossed his arms.
"I see your hair is in those stupid braids again." He said in a haughty tone.
"And I see that you're a snobby prick." Livy shot back.
"Well-"
"Enough fighting." Alfred's calm voice seemed to freeze the two. "Dinner shall be ready shortly, please take your seats in the dining room and I'll bring the food out presently."
The group obeyed Alfred and sat at the dining room table.
Bruce was at the head of the table with Tim sitting on one side and Damian on the other (keeping the two separate.) Dick sat next to Damian while Livy sat next to Tim.
Livy would never admit it, but she did love a home cooked meal. She didn't eat home cooked meals very often, even when with Jason.
So Alfred's food tasted amazing to her. He made the most perfect stake with mushrooms covering the top and he had prepared a fresh salad with spinach, tomatoes, and carrots. To top it off, he had also made potatoes. Livy didn't want many people to know this about her, but she absolutely loved potatoes. Any kind, but since these were prepared by Alfred, Livy's thought that her heart was going to stop from the flavor of the food.
Livy ate fast. She tried to remember good table manners by not talking with her mouth open , having both elbows at her side, and not belching.
While Livy ate quicker than anyone could imagine, the Waynes tried to make some small talk.
Livy could hear Damian insulting Tim and Tim making a retort back to Damian, and then Dick trying to smooth out the argument.
She honestly could care less what they were talking about. She was too busy savoring the awesome potatoes.
However, when her plate was as clean as she could get it without licking it clean, she noticed all eyes were on her.
"Uh… hi?" she didn't know what they were talking about, but it was clear that it was about her, and that it wasn't good.
"Did you really kill someone?" Tim questioned. Livy's eyes scanned each person at the table, then rested her eyes on Damian.
"I guess I should head back to the hospital. Tell Alfred that the dinner was great. Thanks." She said quickly as she stood from her seat and hurriedly headed toward the exit.
However, Bruce managed to block her, and she took a startled step back. Her hands trembled in fear, but she tried to keep her strong composure in front of Bruce.
I killed someone, it's obvious. What's he going to do? Send me to jail? God, Jason won't be happy when he comes back to find that his daughter got herself arrested. Livy thought.
"I told you that you could spend the night here." Bruce stated. "Sit back down." When Bruce said it, it wasn't an option.
Livy found herself back at her seat, still with people staring at her.
"Are you waiting for me to say that I didn't kill someone? Because if you are than you should stop it right now." She said in a low voice.
"Who-" Livy cut Dick off.
"The man who put my friend in the hospital." She shook her head. "He ruined her life. He ruined so many people's lives and then hers…" Livy exhaled heavily. "Nobody deserved to be killed by him. So I did exactly what he was doing with my friend. I burned him alive. And I watched." Her eyes then met Bruce's. "And I'm not sorry."
The room was silent for several moments until Livy questioned,
"Do you still want me to stay here? I wouldn't want you to feel guilty about harboring a murderer."
"DON'T CALL YOURSELF THAT!" Damian exclaimed, standing from his seat.
"Why? It's the truth! I killed someone with no regret! Besides, you like to keep pointing out the fact that I killed someone! I must look like I constantly have blood on my hands, don't I!?"
"No! You're just confused!"
"Confused about what exactly? I killed someone. I am not sorry. I will forever believe that he had it coming to him. and if something like that repeats itself I will kill again. There is nothing to be confused about!"
"Will you stop being so ignorant!" Damian spat.
"Oh, I'm the ignorant one? I feel like I'm the only one besides my father who gets how this city works! And I hate this city! I've been to places all over the world that make this city look like garbage! I see no beauty in this city and whenever there is a glimmer of happiness or hope it is destroyed! And I have to stay here! It's like this city is dragging me down harder the more I try to get out! So don't call me ignorant when you don't even know what the hell you're talking about!"
It was silent again, Livy and Damian staring at each other intensely while the rest of the family was at a loss for words.
"Uh… is everyone ready for dessert? I can tell Alfred." Dick whispered. The tension slowly dissipated and both Livy and Damian nodded.
Dick told Alfred they were ready for dessert and the man brought out some chocolate cake.
Livy ate slowly, listening to the conversations that were going on. However, the conversations were never about Livy or killing.
Tim only recounted some events that were going on in his life.
~*~*~*~*~Later~*~*~*~*~
Alfred showed Livy to the guest room and she sat on the bed, reveling in how comfortable it was. However, she still felt tense from the fight she had with Damian at the dinner table.
"Miss Todd?" Alfred questioned, and Livy looked the man in the eye.
"Yes?"
"I heard the ordeal that happened at the dinner table. You have to understand that I believe everyone is worried about you." He informed.
"But Alfred, there is no need to be worried. I know how to handle myself." Livy debated, but she didn't raise her voice. She was too tired, and not to mention, she wouldn't be able to yell at the kind older gentleman.
"That may be true, but I remember a certain young lady telling me of her ambitions to become a nurse when she got older and her love of healing people."
"Alfred…" Alfred held a hand up, making Livy stop.
"Now, I have killed before. I have done so in times of war, but I still did kill." Alfred informed in an even tone. "I know that at the time what I was doing felt right. I felt like I needed it to be done, however, as time progressed and my duty was finished, I had started to think." Alfred took a seat next to Livy on the edge of the bed.
"Some men with hardened hearts say that they don't think about the men they killed during times of war. However, I did. I thought about their lives, their families… I even tracked down the address of one of the men just to apologize to his wife… though, I could not bring myself to do it." He added with regret. "I know that your heart is not hardened. I know that soon you will start to think about the man you killed. It will fill you with guilt just as it had done with me." Alfred placed a hand on Livy's shoulder.
"Master Bruce and the others are worried that the more you kill the more guilt you will feel and that may lead you down a dark path. You love, my dear. You have a strong heart, but it may lead you into depression… like your biological mother." Livy was startled at the statement. She didn't like to think of how her mother was depressed. She tried to only remember the stories Jason had told her of their happy times.
"But… but Jason. He isn't depressed, and he can love. He kills." Livy stated, her voice holding confusion.
"Your father is a… special man. But you are not like him. I know that you aspire to be like him, but your heart is too good. You must realize that that is not a bad thing." Alfred informed gently.
Livy lowered her head, shacking as small tears rolled from her eyes.
"Alfred… I'm so confused. I don't know… I…"
Alfred rubbed her back as Livy cried softly.
"You are still young, Miss Todd." Alfred whispered. "You don't need to have your future set in stone. Do what you want to do."
Livy hugged Alfred tightly, and he patted her back as she cried.
Alfred stayed with Livy until she calmed down, then he tucked her into bed. If it were anyone else, Livy would have said that she was too old to be tucked in. However, she made an exception for Alfred.
~*~*~*~*~Elsewhere~*~*~*~*~
"Father, why did you want Livy to stay here? I know that you would not have offered out of the blue." Damian stated, looking at his father with questioning eyes.
"Dick told me that Joker did some horrible things to Livy when she was little." Bruce informed, his voice tight with anger. Bruce did care for Livy. After all, since Jason was his adopted son, that made Livy his adopted granddaughter.
"So?" Damian inquired.
"Joker is back." Bruce said in a solemn voice. "And I do not want Livy to make a choice that she would regret."