April dreams about Jackson the night before her wedding.
"JACKSON!"
April thrashed around in her bed, imagining Matthew's arms around her. Stopping her from saving her best friend.
"JACKSON!"
April gasped and sat up in her bed, breathing heavily through her mouth. Seeing that she was in her room, she closed her eyes, put her head in her hands, drawed her knees to her chest, and rocked back and forth trying to calm herself. But her mind was in shambles. That was the single most terrifying moment of her life. Scarier than having a gun pointed at her head, more than finding herself in a pool of her best friend's blood or even seeing her mentor being shot in front of her own eyes. Maybe what she said to him afterwards was in the spur of the moment, but after nights of thinking and comparing she had decided that watching that bus explode was the scariest moment of her life. When she felt Matthew's arms around her, she had never felt hatred like that. She hated him for stopping her. She should have been there, in the fire with Jackson. She didn't have too many nightmares. She really didn't. But it was the night before her wedding day and she was dreaming about her best friend almost dying. She thanked God that her sisters had moved into a hotel after she fired them as her bridesmaids. She couldn't deal with them asking their annoying questions.
Jesus why are you doing this? she asked in her mind looking up out of her window into the dark night. Wasn't Matthew her second chance at doing the right thing? Then why was dreaming about her friend Jackson?
It must be because of the stress of the wedding, whenever people stress out their mind goes back to the worst memories. That was the reason she was dreaming about that bus, said the doctor in her. After taking a few deep breaths she looked at her phone's wallpaper. It was a picture of Matthew and her, right after he had proposed. There was a feeling of uneasiness in her heart. It can't be about Matthew and the marriage, she argued. Then what?… Jackson. It was always came back to him. The reason she had this weight on her heart was because her best friend of seven years wasn't going to be at her wedding. He wouldn't be there to support her through as he had through everything. Their intern year, the merger, the shooting, their boards, the plane crash, her boards again. And if he weren't there tomorrow she would feel incomplete, because she couldn't take this step without him. Yes, that's the reason. Shaking her head she lay back down slowly trying to go back to sleep.
What she didn't realize until later was that she couldn't have taking that step with anyone but Jackson.
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