Author's Note: The only thing almost as dangerous as Carly the Mama Bear is a Carly in need of distraction! Tee-hee! Look who strolls into her path and demands her attention thus guaranteeing a bull's eye on her head. And if someone seems to be uncharacteristically... SUBDUED, stay tuned... All will reveal itself in later chapters! :D

Chapter 12: Unknown Connections Unearthed

As Carly sat waiting for little Steffy, Taylor, and Stephanie to join her, her mind was drifting, not for the first time that day—or hell, in that hour.

I wonder how everybody back in Port Charles is handling having their lives Carly-free? I wonder how Jason—forget him. He's probably got Spinelli there to lean on and maybe Johnny stuck around before heading back down to Puerto Rico, she considered before grimacing. Stop deluding yourself, Carly. You know that by now one of his desperate little pixies has glommed onto him with the hopes that me leaving is the opportunity they'd only dreamed of to get him for themselves. Wonder which one of them it is this time.

Unconsciously drawing designs in the condensation on her glass, Carly's mind continued to wander. I'd normally never count the little guttersnipe out, but it's only been two weeks since my little reveal. I definitely think it would be way too soon for Jason to have even contemplated forgiveness and very unlikely he'd get over a betrayal that massive. That leaves St. Robin and that ridiculously fertile Lipgloss! After everything with Jake, one would hope Jason had learned from the blackout that tequila, heartache, and convenient trampy little nurses masquerading as saints did not mix, but he always seemed to get suckered in by her. Then, of course we can never forget St. Robin. She may play the saint and the devoted wife and mother, but the possibilities of a Jason sans Carly might be too much to resist. I can just imagine her after their drunken one-nighter… 'I just wanted to be a good friend and now I'm so confused and guilt-ridden.' Carly had to fight not to gag as she rolled her eyes in disgust.

A moment later, she went on high alert at the feeling of two sets of eyes burning into her back. This could be interesting, she thought as she shook herself free of her counterproductive thoughts. Carly fought to hide her smirk and did a slow count to 20 as with her back to the interested parties, she waited rather patiently—considering it was Carly—for the pair to join her. She wondered which trashy Logan and male friend she could assume she had garnered the attention of. She knew only one set of eyes was malicious while the other was simply curious and amused. She had an internal bet going with a full spa day on the line at a very exclusive, very elite spa Tay and Steph had mentioned that it would be the Panic Attack Queen and her delicious, if deluded, hubby $Bill Spencer.

So there she sat sipping her raspberry & lime tea and waited as the proverbial dowdy, middle daughter made her expected appearance with all the elegance, grace, and forethought of a bull in a china shop. "I know what you're up to, and you can give it a rest because it is not going to work," the pug-nosed brunette snarled.

Taking her time, Carly set aside her tea along with the PDA she'd been reviewing for an appropriate day to enjoy her winnings and considered how she was going to handle them—and decided to use one of her favorite and long-unused methods of toying with her prey. After a full 30 seconds without reaction, she lazily lifted her gaze ignoring the fuming woman as Carly apparently focused her sole attention on her tall, dark, and delicious companion. If only. "Well, as I live and breathe, if it isn't the one and only William "$Bill" Spencer," Carly drawled playing up her Floridian roots. "My Uncle Luke mentioned we had some estranged family o ut here on the West Coast, but I must say I'm absolutely thrilled to meet you finally."

His eyes widened almost comically in surprise before a twinkle of recognition, mischief, and humor lit his gaze. "I'll be damned," he chuckled. "Caroline."

"I prefer Car, especially since I seem to share your dearly departed sister's name. I heard about that and I'm sorry," she responded still completely ignoring the confused and raging brunette at Bill's side as she rose to accept his unexpected embrace. DAMN, why does he have to be family? He coulda been a lot fun as a rebound! "So how's life as the big bad wolf of the more fiscally fabulous side of the family?"

Bill roared with laughter. "Great," he answered lifting a shoulder as he continued. "Well, it is for the most part. I just need to bring my prodigal heir up to snuff. Speaking of, how's life for the black sheep of the prodigal side of the family?"

"Fiscally fabulous!" she quipped retaking her seat. "Four ex-husbands, three spectacular kids, two stints in Ferncliff and a side trip to Roselawn later, that is. I hear my son and that prodigal of yours have actually hit it off quite well when they aren't passive aggressively battling for the attention of a certain gorgeous, leggy brunette. Which isn't that just like a man to be mooning of someone else when they're committed elsewhere? Not that you can fault their taste where young Steffy is concerned, but if they weren't family, I would have to do something particularly evil to both of them."

She watched carefully as a glint of regret and loss entered his eyes at the mention of Steffy and his pushy wife chose that moment to try to force them to acknowledge her presence. "This is all very fascinating stuff," she snapped, "and you'll have to fill me in on the family connection later, Bill, but—"

"Yeah, I know, I remember," Carly sighed dramatically leaning back in her seat and picking up her PDA. "I won't get away with it—whatever it is. But last I checked, you and I have never even met so you couldn't possibly know what my agenda would be. And I have no interest in updating some nameless stranger on my business, no matter how special you think you are to be on the infamous $Bill's arm. SO how about you save it for someone who cares?"

Carly rolled her eyes not missing a beat or the effort it took her cousin to maintain his outward composure. "Wanna bring Liam by my house for dinner sometime this week? We can break the news that they're cousins together."

"He'll have to run it past his wife," her latest Logan nemesis hissed.

"You're married?" Carly gasped lifting her head in carefully feigned shock. She turned her head to finally give her opponent a slow onceover internally acknowledging the potential in her, but denigrating it with a raising of a confused eyebrow at Bill.

"Let me formally introduce myself, CAR," she practically growled. "My name is Katie Logan Spencer, Bill's wife, Brooke's sister, and Hope's aunt."

"Huh," Carly replied in feigned incredulity that had Bill coughing so hard he had to excuse himself and move a few feet away to a server to request a drink. "Well, that certainly is… convenient? How unexpected?"

Thinking she'd won their battle of wits and wills, Katie looked down her snub nose smugly. "So now that know who you're dealing with," she snapped condescendingly, "Maybe you'll show me a little respect and take me a little more seriously."

Carly stared the woman before her down blankly until she could see the effect it was having on her and then, threw back her head as laughter exploded uproariously from her hugely grinning mouth. As she stared the brunette down laughing all the while, she enjoyed the red hue that filled Katie's face and the edges of humiliation, indignation, and general discomfort that took hold along with the anger in her eyes.

"Bill!" Katie snapped at her husband too furious to figure another response for dealing with Carly's reactions to her.

"Car, come on," he attempted his eyes averted enough to keep his wife from seeing his humor in Carly's antics.

"Really, Bill?" Carly sighed blotting tears of mirth from her face. "She says she's a Spencer now. If that's how she wants to play, let her prove it. If she can't hang, then you know it's not my fault. Being a Spencer is not like being any ol' body and you know that as well as I do. This is between me and her—one ACTUAL Spencer to another's wife."

"Don't worry about it, Bill," Katie interjected coldly. "She's absolutely right. This is between her and I. And I will have no problem handling it."

Bill just shook his head and shrugged, throwing his hands up in mock surrender as he stepped back to watch the show. Seeing the reigns were completely released on the confrontation, Carly had to fight not to rub her hands together in glee at the prospect of fresh Logan pray. "Look Katie. Clearly, you have overestimated yourself because you think you're up to taking me on. So it's left to me to waste my precious time disabusing you of that notion along with the concept that you deserve my respect or have shown ANY reason to be taken seriously. Respect is not simply GIVEN, little girl, no matter what you and your deluded family think, it is EARNED—and I do NOT mean on your back. Those tactics may have landed you a ring, but I don't swing that way so it won't be that easy to convince me."

"How DARE you presume to know me?" Katie snapped. "I am a very well-educated, successful businesswoman in my own right! And as Bill's wife—"

"WhatEVER, honey," Carly laughed. "Screwing my cousin into marrying you does not make you special, honey! Doesn't matter how many degrees you have, gold-diggers are a dime a dozen, and as many of them have college educations as not. Just because you are evidently a better lay than you look and Spencers are notoriously stubborn even when they've made astronomical mistakes—which would explain why Bill hasn't dropped you like the bad habit you are, you have shown me NOTHING that makes me reconsider my opinion of you as anything more than a screechy, gold-digging overgrown pixie."

"You've pulled FOUR ex-husbands and you think you'd know what real love looks like if it bit you on your ass?" Katie grimaced and Carly internally flinched as Jason crossed her mind. "Bill and I love each other. And he fell in love with the strong, capable businesswoman I am despite—"

Katie broke off at Carly's slow clap. "As far as I'm concerned, you are a legal fuck toy, honey," Carly replied calmly with hint of delighted derision. "You may have a few other useful settings, but toys get no respect. Usually, I might feel a little bad calling someone a gold-digger since it has been erroneously thrown my way any number of times, but I call it like I see it. I mean, it is really sad to see someone with all those brains amounting to little more than a toy and her trampy sister's keeper in the grand scheme of things."

Carly stared intently into her opponent's eyes, outwardly bored, but inwardly enjoying herself. "See, Bill has earned his respect as the ruthless, controlling, swaggering asshole SOB of a CEO that he is," she mocked. "You have earned your college degree and whatever scars on your knees and back got you that diamond and platinum-coated brass ring that came with Bill Spencer's name on the dotted line. But you damn sure don't have any credits to your resume or your existence to my knowledge that have earned you the right to waste my time or attempt to disrespect and embarrass me in this fine establishment with your pathetic little scene—which was wholly unsuccessful, by the way."

Sensing the defeat of yet another unworthy opponent wafting toward her in waves, Carly felt a touch of sympathy and decided to end this little song and dance before she or her companions waiting and watching by the bar got bored. "Now, if you want to start over, I would be happy to accept your apology and do just that," Carly offered innocently. "If not, you can start picking up whatever scraps of your dignity and self-respect you can find and get the hell out of my face before I decide to stop holding back and say something RUDE."

At that point, Katie finally noticed Steffy, Taylor, and Stephanie, Sr. lounging at the bar watching their little scene play out with ill-contained amusement. Katie turned an even brighter shade of red as her head snapped in their direction before quickly turning back to Carly. "This is far from over," she hissed before storming away.

"Oh, by the way," she called as Katie moved to rush out of sight. "I knew exactly who you were from the second I saw you. One piece of advice, you seem pretty reckless with your health for someone with somebody else's heart in their chest. You shouldn't go looking for trouble."

Katie huffed indignantly and left without another word, while Carly shook her head in disgust. "Seriously, Bill!" she sighed. "What in the blue hell were you thinking giving that-that twit the Spencer name?! You're as bad as my cousin Lucky with his pixie twit of an ex-wife, Nurse Elizabeth 'Lipgloss' Webber. Fix that or I swear I will! She's a fucking disaster, Bill! Anyone not cowed by the almighty $Bill could easily have her as a midday snack! She is a complete liability."

"Come on, Car," he replied nodding Stephanie, Taylor, and Steffy in turn as they arrived. "I do love her."

"Bull!" she retorted clearly annoyed. It looks like I have yet another person's life to get on track in this town, Carly decided. At least I won't get bored. And if I start feeling lonely, I can work on one of my pet projects! "I'm serious, Bill! Cut the 'I'm too stubborn for my own good' Spencer bullshit and fix this or I will! As long as she's around you, you'll never be rid of little Hopeless and her sedative effect on your son. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. It all suddenly becomes clearer how little Steffy got so deep under your skin—you being a grown ass married man and all—that you were ready to dump the wife without getting any first. Pathetic."

"Car!" Tay gasped, but her eyes still glinted with amusement,.

"What did I say?" she quipped back innocently, while her companions looked away to keep their composure as Bill simply sighed seeing the steely determination in his cousin's eyes and shook his head.

"We'll talk later, Caroline," he grumbled briefly meeting Steffy's gaze with a hint of longing and taking Carly's extended card and exchanging it with one of his own. "Enjoy your lunch, ladies. On me."

"Thank you, Bill," Stephanie replied having maintained her composure better than her favorite ex-daughter-in-law or granddaughter until he was gone. "You are such a menace, Car, but I love every entertaining second."

"Right!" Taylor laughed delightedly. "I mean, this is completely immature and I generally have nothing against Katie, but there is something about watching a Logan humiliated and cut down to size that I couldn't help, but enjoy."

"Mom!" Steffy shrieked in surprise. "I love absolutely approve, agree and LOVE it!"

"Oh my goodness," Carly teased, inwardly enjoying the unleashing of a side of Taylor that would surely bear very interesting fruit. She tossed Stephanie a wink as a clear 'I told you so'. "The classy, elegant, unfailingly MATURE Dr. Taylor Hayes Forrester just admitted to reveling in another's immaturity! I am shocked—but delighted! Looks like there's hope for you yet!"

The four women shared a laugh and Carly picked up her PDA and started working on an email.

"What do you have there?" Stephanie wondered aloud. "Who are you emailing?"

"You know me so well," Carly chuckled. "You heard me. I am dead serious about the Panic Attack Queen's days being number. I've got another old friend from my Deception days who used to model for me. She's a high-powered attorney in the Big Apple, now. She's a partner with a pretty major firm, who has been considering opening a branch out here."

Everyone turned to her in awe. "Are we talking about a certain former Face of Deception that you hooked us up with for a show once upon a time?" Steffy asked slightly in awe.

Carly simply grinned as she completed the email. And the table erupted in even more laughter as they prepared to enjoy a very lavish, fun-filled lunch on $Bill Spencer's dime.

Chapter 13: Popular Figure Loses Fans

Chapter 14: Uneasy Truce Found

Chapter 15: Untitled

~To Be Continued~