Well, this got completed faster than I thought.
I'm probably not the best judge to decide which portion of the story was better written, but I do think that this one got the main story on track with its tone and what not. Hell, I've done my best to implement proper punctuation and grammar wherever applicable and have worked at the story to iron out the kinks and plot holes to make it as solid as possible. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can decide whether I've succeeded in that aspect or not.
Since I am my own worst critic, I have to apologize to you fine people for releasing some chapters with inexcusable mistakes in wording or botched lines. Some of these I don't how they managed to slip by me but apparently they did and will be corrected posthaste. That is, if my horrendously blunt writing style didn't drive you away at first.
Prologue:
The idea for this story was to always follow the Mass Effect 2 format as opposed to the previous, more AU centric part in the beginning. This development could be because I lack a proper imagination, or that I'm tired of creating more AU scenarios, but I feel that if I create a story that doesn't follow the exact story proper, then it will still feel fresh for audiences without me having to take huge leaps and bounds with the lore of this universe.
I guess I just like tinkering with what is already available to us as writers. There will be no more OC characters created for this story (I'm done with creating OCs) that will share a notable presence anymore but I will strive to endeavor that no one is OOC in this story. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an OOC character so alert me if I break that rule unintentionally and I'll proceed to give my head a few proper knocks before correcting my mistake.
Playlist:
Opening: "Flying Over Afghanistan" by Patrick Doyle from the film Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Imagine if this would accompany the titles, if you will.
Chapter 1:
I did mention in the last story that I was going to downplay the aspects of Shepard's robotic body and giving him a new and improved layer was what I meant (if there weren't any Terminator undertones present in the beginning they certainly are here now). It may seem like I'm just throwing an original concept (or so I've been told) under the bus here and I can understand some frustrations people might have with that. The fact of the matter was, I thought that I was a little too heavy handed with handling the concept in the first part so I didn't want to keep hitting people over the head with reminding them that, "Oh hey look, Shepard is a robot. Can't you tell?"
It got to the point where I was getting repetitive with my work so I decided to spin it off in a tangent. This way, it solves a couple relationship issues that would have been rather...interesting had I not chosen to give Shepard his skin back. As much as I like writing this, I would rather not go into the bizarre here. I'm trying to make this story as grounded as possible, as legible as possible.
Playlist:
Rejuvenation: "Flesh of My Flesh" by Clint Mansell from the film Noah. A nice interlude to accompany the scene when Shepard goes in and awakes from surgery.
Chapter 2:
I believe that it was around this point that I started to get a little bored of writing. Maybe this was because this was the dullest point in the story and I was anxious of getting to the better parts.
For that matter, it did open the way for Shepard and Tali to start awkwardly flirting with each other and allowing her to join up almost immediately (seeing as her father is already dead and she has no other obligations to take up her time…)
And yes, if it wasn't immediately obvious, that was Zaeed that I had Shepard kill at the end. I figured that it had been a while since I offed a notable character so I wrote the scarred mercenary in as yet another casualty for Shepard. I guess I can now add him to the list of people I've most likely offended for killing off characters that are fan favorites, alongside Miranda.
The point of adding Zaeed was to demonstrate the fact that Cerberus was trying to go ahead with its own projects by hiring outside help like they always intended. Since they didn't have Shepard and his charming personality with them to convince any aliens to temporary ally with the terrorist force, they resorted to simply hire amongst their own race.
It also suggests that Shepard really doesn't need to build a team for this outing as he has the full support of the Alliance, access to a mass of ground troops, and the full support of the Council. Why would he need to build a team in the first place? Also, the people he does join with are, for the most part, already loyal or prior circumstances have altered the need to do loyalty missions.
For example: Kaidan is already loyal, in the game he was mistrustful of Shepard due to his association with Cerberus, here Shepard never joined Cerberus so he is more quick to trust his former commander. With Garrus, the rest of his team presumably survived Omega, not requiring him to hunt down Sidonis for revenge. External circumstances have prevented Liara from engaging in a vendetta against the Shadow Broker so there was no need for any further deviations.
The entire process was my way of streamlining the story because the loyalty missions, while important, did not flow with the main story all that well. Here, they have been excised completely, leaving Shepard to just deal with the Collectors as a whole. This might explain why the story was relatively fast paced because I don't like to waste valuable chapters by going off and running fetch quests that have little to no bearing on the main story as a whole.
If it isn't providing any development, it's going on the cutting floor. Which is probably why many characters (squadmates, to be precise) did not show up here and will not show up in the third part. There was no reason for Shepard to be recruiting and characters like Jack, Samara, Thane, etc. are going to remain blissfully unaware of Shepard's personal plight. This decision was made in favor of delivering a clear and concise story without needlessly cluttering it up. Also, I'm not entirely confident about writing for the characters that got the axe here as I don't think that I will do a good job in getting their personalities right.
Playlist:
Welcome to Freedom's Progress: "Muttations" by James Newton Howard from the film The Hunger Games. Provides an eerie atmosphere and a hard edge for the Zaeed fight.
Chapter 3:
If I wasn't disinterested before, I certainly was writing this chapter.
There's little more that can be said. I needed to bring Mordin into the story so I adapted his recruitment mission but I guess I did so in a matter that was rather flat. It was mostly a transitional chapter that gradually built some character but didn't do much to the overall story. I think I should have that problem corrected when I start the third part but I consider this to be the low point overall.
Either that or my author's note at the end was poorly timed.
Playlist:
Use Your Words: "Pyrrhus Outskirts - Fortification" by Joris de Man from the video game Killzone 3. For use during Mordin's fetch quest.
Chapter 4:
A nice, chapter-long battle sequence was just what I needed to break me out of my funk. With the M rating, I am given a lot of leeway with what I can write in terms of violence but I constantly find myself having to hold back to make sure that I don't go over-the-top. It's a slippery slope I face, wanting to revel in the blood and gore versus keeping the action consistent with the tone of the games.
I think I managed to hit a key middle area with that, all things considered.
Playlist:
Big Giant Bugs With Guns: "Cemetery Wind" by Steve Jablonsky from the film Transformers: Age of Extinction.
Chapter 5:
It was a nice surprise for me to have people begging for the Normandy to be in this story. Having the story planned out beforehand, I wanted to introduce the ship in a different way that had shades of the Citadel DLC planted in it, although with less wit and more grit. Hopefully this was in a way that they wanted.
An interesting fact about Kai Leng is that he technically beats Shepard in every encounter the two have together. The only one to make him break ranks is Tali, ironically. I wanted Leng to have a more fearsome presence in this story than in Mass Effect 3 so I wrote him to be an actual physical threat, making sure to harm Shepard every chance he got. Plus, his use of a sword gives me more and more opportunities to throw sword fights in here, gotta love them.
Also, I try to keep any references down to a minimum but since the games have already set the precedent for having quotes from "2001" in there, I think I can be forgiven for including a few lines now and there, can't I?
Playlist:
Just a Scratch: "The Fight" by Alan Silvestri from the film The Abyss. Tribal percussion to underline Kai Leng's ethnic origins.
Chapter 6:
Initially, this first scene was supposed to happen later in the story, but once I had removed some scenes that were not wholly necessary, I rearranged it to have the fluff start out here. In this particular case, I felt that it was about time that Shepard and Tali recognize their feelings for one another and want to be together. Seeing as I had teased this mercilessly up to that point, I shouldn't think that it would feel rushed for anyone (but that's only my opinion, which happens to be wrong a lot of the time).
If you were to compare it to the main game, then the actual romance process here I would think is a bit more detailed and expansive. Compared to some other fics on this site, however, it is a tad skimpy. But at least I can sit back and look on that scene with approval and go, "Yeah, that works." It might just be my old fashioned notions talking for me, though.
Playlist:
One on One: "Picking this Life" by Patrick Doyle from the film Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Fluffy piece for a fluffy scene.
Chapter 7:
Yet another chapter-long fight sequence. Hopefully the familiarity of it all was tempered by the altered dialogue, I have seen many fics suffer because they didn't try to adhere to an author's individual vision and simply make a cut-and-paste novelization of the events as they happened in the actual game. Whenever possible, I try to include as much detail as my paltry brain can dish out so that the process of going from quotation to quotation isn't so tiring and helps the pacing flow a lot better.
A chapter that I had been preparing to write was going to detail the Collector ship ambushing the Normandy after they start the IFF shakedown (the mission where you control Joker, that is). I was going to have Shepard and his crew remain on the ship when that happens and have him push back against the intruders and back onto the ship itself, where it would be destroyed by the fleet.
I abandoned that particular idea because the overall environment would be rather repetitive and would kill the pacing so I combined elements from that into the chapter you see now.
Collectors Make Poor Hosts: "Marathon" by Junkie XL from the film 300: Rise of an Empire. Action occupying the latter half of the chapter.
Chapter 8:
By looking at the traffic graph, I really should have expected that this chapter would have the highest visitor/view ratio. Silly me, I forgot how much you people like this sort of stuff.
A snippet of trivia, I had actually written roughly half of this chapter before I had even started this story at all (which explains why I was able to post it so quickly). My initial aim was to produce a one-shot of Shepard and Tali's night together but put a more respectful and romantic twist on it rather just resorting to plain smut. I wanted to give the audience the image of what happened between them instead of simply "cutting to black" and leaving everything to the audience's imagination, allowing me to submit my own interpretation. Maybe it's because I'm prudish like that or I just got tired of seeing characters that I liked blatantly disrespected time and again, grating on my unfortunately snobbish sensibilities.
As I wrote it, it became more apparent to me that the audience's connection between Shepard and Tali would be stronger if it was embedded in a larger story so they could be familiar with the little idiosyncrasies that I imparted on these characters, thus I resurrected the concept that you see now and voila. Enjoy it while you can, that's probably the fluffiest crap you're ever going to see from me.
I don't consider the contents of this chapter to be smut. I consider it to be a natural step in the culmination of a relationship that breaks physical boundaries as well as emotional ones. That's what scenes like this should be about, not horny teenages jumping their seats at the first sight of skin and yelling, "BOOBS!" Not engaging in incredibly awkward positions too unrealistic for use at home. Not utilizing awkward and horrid conversations that ruin the mood that is being created.
Honestly, one would think that because of the non-taboo nature of the subject in this particular game universe, these scenes should be handled better. (And there I go again with my ranting.)
Playlist:
Together as One: "A Way of Life" by Hans Zimmer from the film The Last Samurai. Resurrecting Tali's appropriated theme for use in a tender moment.
Chapter 9:
In favor of not repeating the suicide mission verbatim, some liberties had to be taken with the overall layout of the base. This is going off of the idea that the audience knows what to expect so you can skimp on those areas while delivering in scenes that they have no idea of what to expect at all.
Which was why I inserted the fight with Kai Leng at the end in the first place. ME2's final "boss" has not been universally considered to be a good boss so I wanted to shove him out of the way early on. Having Leng deliver a thrash down heightened the tension dramatically and I also got to lift a scene from ME3's initial deleted script, so that made me happy.
An earlier draft had me write Shepard killing Leng but that was quickly excised when I realized that I wanted Tali to finish the job she started in the first part. Plus, having her do a complete and brutal neck snap is pretty badass. What can I say? Shepard's girl can fight.
Playlist:
The True Monster: "Immaterial" by Neil Davidge from the video game Halo 4. A tense suite that encompasses all of the appropriate moods from the conversation with the IM to Leng's untimely demise.
Epilogue:
Just a tiny bit of fluff before the upcoming storm. Any guesses on who the mysterious figure is?
Playlist:
End Titles: "Main Theme" by David Buckley from the video game Call of Duty: Ghosts. A tad bit of menace to underline on what's to come.
For the upcoming part III, I will be going immediately into Mass Effect 3's main storyline. Much to my chagrin, many of the missions detailed in the upcoming chapters will share the same overall plot but I do have several twists and turns planned that will make each mission feel a little different, a little more special.
I expect that midway through writing this part, my schedule will start to tighten to the point where I will not be able to post chapters as often as I'd like. That being said, I'm going to say that I hope to complete this by October at the latest. If, for whatever reason, I am unable to complete the story due to time constraints or a lack of interest, I promise that I will skip ahead and write the ending to this tale, as it's an idea that I have yet to see in any fic (that does not mean it doesn't exist already) and it's something I wish to develop further. I would just like to conclude this story on my own terms as it's something I've worked my ass off for the past month and a half. Can't let all that work go to ruin, can I?
If you have any further questions, feel free to PM me or leave a review (just don't go out asking for specific plot points that I haven't released yet because I'm not going to tell you). So far, I'm having a fun time writing this whole thing and I hope you all have been equally entertained.
Don't fret, I'll be back in about a week. That'll give me some time to relax and make corrections while allowing my brain to recover so it can be at its sharpest when the time comes. Let's see what kind of trouble we can get into.
-Rob