After reading everyone's kind review and thoughts, I decided to follow up with what's happening with Splinter and the rest of the family. I also changed my mind slightly about what I was going to do with Splinter. Actually, I went back to my very first idea about what happened. My intent with this chapter was to present what happened, and Splinter's choice, and let you each make up your mind about whether this makes him a good guy or a bad guy. So go read and see what you think.
For several long heartbeats following Leonardo's abrupt departure, no one said anything, or even dared to move a muscle. When reality snapped back into place, Michelangelo made as if to follow his older brother, but Raphael stopped him.
'Leave him alone, Mikey," Raph said softly. "He's not going to want us around just yet. He needs some time to process everything."
Michelangelo clearly wasn't happy about it, but he conceded to Raphael's counsel.
"I think, my sons, you have a little explaining to do," Master Splinter interjected, confusion and warning in his voice.
No one could have been more surprised than the elderly rat when Donatello countered, "No, sensei, I think you have some explaining to do."
"I think that's our cue to leave," April interrupted, obviously feeling very ill at ease to be present for what was shaping up to be a family "discussion" of epic proportions; Donatello didn't speak like that to his father without extreme provocation after all. "Casey and I will see if we can locate Leo. I'll give you a call of we find him."
In very little time, polite goodbyes were exchanged, and the two humans headed out into the sewers. That left three highly agitated turtles and one very disturbed rat to discuss the elephant that had been in the room for the past ten years.
"Let's take this…family council into the dojo," Splinter commanded. "Then I would like an explanation for your accusation, Donatello."
The family resituated itself in the dojo, but if anyone was expecting Donatello to have back down, they would have been quite disappointed.
"You want and explanation," Donatello said harshly. "I'll give you an explanation. It starts all the way back to the weeks following Leo's initial disappearance, and your rather extreme reaction to it. I spent years wondering why you basically eradicated any shred of evidence he'd ever existed. For a long time I thought maybe Leo had actually committed suicide, or some other grievous sin, and you were trying to erase the shame of it or something; but that explanation never quite made sense."
Startled by his genius son's line of thought, the elderly rat protested, "You brother never brought anything but honor to this family."
"I finally decided that on my own," Donatello said. "Partly from things I'd learned about psychology, depression and suicide, but even more because of a secret I've been keeping for the last two years; a secret you told me, sensei."
"What," the rest of the family exclaimed, though no one was more surprised than Master Splinter himself.
"I think you'd better explain that remark, bro," Raphael said, shock making his voice rough.
"I've been holding on to this for so long, I can't decide if it's a relief or not to share it," Donatello confessed. "I wanted to tell Leo after he admitted who he is, but I wasn't sure how it all fit together. Now that Master Splinter's back, though, maybe he can fill in the missing pieces."
"Just get on with it," Michelangelo demanded.
"Okay, you remember two years ago when Sensei got so sick," Donatello asked.
"Sure," Raphael said with a shiver. "We weren't sure he was going to make it, and you so wore yourself out taking care of him that we were afraid you were going to make yourself sick, too."
"Well, when his fever was at its worst, he began to hallucinate, and at one point thought I was Leo." At this point, Donatello had to stop, and un-nameable emotion clogging his throat. Regaining control, he continued, "He kept apologizing and begging me, or Leo rather, to forgive him. When I asked why he needed forgiving, he just said, 'It wasn't supposed to be you, but I had to let them take you. Forgive me, but it was either your life, or your brothers'.' I've never forgotten those words." By this point, tears were pouring down Donatello's face, but it was like he didn't notice them as he continued to let the story, so long withheld, pour out of him. "After you recovered, Sensei, I kept waiting for some sign you remembered what you had said, but you never did. Even when I tried to hint at it, or jog your memory, you acted like you had no idea what I was talking about. I couldn't share what I'd heard with my brothers because I wasn't certain just what I had heard. Instead, I kept it to myself. I've carried this huge secret around for the past two years; not, I have to have the answers. Even if we didn't deserve the answers, Leo would, because I think he's right. He lived through 10 years of hell, and somehow it's your fault."
Raphael couldn't recall a time his father looked as old and worn down and…broken as he did when Donatello finished speaking. It scared him because it made him seriously begin to consider that Leo had been correct, and if that was the case, he'd betrayed his brother twice that night. Unfortunately, the story his father proceeded to tell did nothing to relieve his mind.
"Donatello, my son, I regret you have been so troubled," Splinter said quietly. "None of this was ever meant to be your burden to bear. The knowledge of your brother's fate, and my failure, was to have been my penance for what I allowed to happen to him."
"What did you do," a horrified Michelangelo demanded, voicing the question Raphael was too sickened to ask himself.
"Should we not wait until we locate your brother to have this discussion," Splinter uncharacteristically hedged. "He, more than anyone, deserves to hear this."
"Right now, Sensei, he's much more likely to slit your throat than listen to any explanation you'd be willing to give," Donatello told him, his tone so icy you could almost see the frost forming in the air. "I think it'd be best if you tell us and allow us to convey it to him. Assuming, of course, you have a reasonable explanation." The challenge was clear in his voice.
Splinter sighed heavily, knowing the sordid tale couldn't be put off any longer. "The story begins back when the four of you were very young. Leo and Raph were three, and you and Mikey no more than two. It was the middle of winter, and all of you had fallen gravely ill. Nothing I did had any effect at all; I was losing you, and there was nothing I could do. But, just when all seemed lost, rumors arose about someone who might be able to help. Desperate, I sought the individual out. I knew it would be a devil's bargain, for I had no way to pay for what I needed, but I had to do something; I couldn't lose my family again. When the deal was struck, it was agreed that's I'd pay one life for four. I swear, though, it was my life I offered. I just begged for the time to see you all old enough to thrive on your own. To my surprise, the bargain was accepted, conditions and all."
"So what change," Raphael demanded hotly. "If the agreement was for your life, why did they take Leo? Why did you give him to them? How could you possible justify exchanging his life for yours?"
"It wasn't like that," Splinter asserted. "I had every intention of following through with the deal."
"But you didn't," Raphael exploded. "Leo did! He was taken, and beaten, and mutilated, and emotionally abused and broken."
"Raph," Michelangelo said softly. "Let him finish. For Leo's sake, if nothing else, we need to hear him out."
Raphael continued to scowl at his father, but he didn't say anything further.
Without delay, Splinter continued his story. "I spent the first several months afterwards looking over my shoulder, certain they were going to renege on the deal at any time, despite what we'd agreed. As time when on, and nothing happened, I pushed it to the back of my mind. By the time Leo disappeared, I had forgotten it completely. And then, Leo went missing, and I went hunting for him, only to come face-to-face with the very creature I had made the arrangements with five years earlier. When I saw he had your brother, I demanded he give him back, but he refused. He pointed out that we had agreed on one life for four. I tried to argue that I had bargained my own life, but he countered I had neglected to make that distinction. To the contrary, I had requested forbearance until you were able to look after yourselves. At that point, you were only seven and eight; far too young to survive on your own. I found myself hoisted by my own petard since, by my own contract, they couldn't take me lest something happen to one of you, voiding the contract altogether. I had a choice to make. I either let them take Leo, and remain behind to look after the rest of you, or I traded my life for Leo's and left you all vulnerable and alone. It broke my heart, but the guaranteed protection of three of you outweighed the potential loss of all of you. It was the better of two ugly choices."
"No it wasn't," Raphael yelled, springing to his feet. "You could have tried to fight to get him back. He was only eight years old, and you let those sadistic monsters take him. He heard you hand him over to them!"
At that point, Splinter did something he'd never done before; something he'd never even thought himself capable of. He backhanded Raphael across the face. The force of the blow was enough to knock the red-masked turtle to the floor, a spot of blood appearing where his lip caught on his teeth. Splinter was so overwrought by this point, however, he didn't notice.
"How dare you," he thundered. "You sit here and judge me and second guess me, but you weren't the one having to make the decisions that night. And for your information, I did attempt to engage that…thing. As soon as I saw it had your brother, I attacked it, but it was too fast and too strong. I was down and out of the fight within the first thirty seconds."
"That's what happened to your leg," Donatello suddenly proclaimed. "You said you took a nasty fall while looking for Leo, which I guess you technically did. That's why you have a limp today, though; your leg never healed right after that."
"Correct as usual, Donatello," Splinter said in a dead voice, all the anger and spirit gone from his tone. "I was hurt, badly, and I faced a decision no father should ever have to make. The truth is none of you could ever detest me more than I detest myself."
"It that why you acted like Leo never existed," Michelangelo asked quietly.
"The guilt of what I had done was like acid in my heart," Splinter replied. "The constant, daily reminders of what we had lost, what I had given up, were slowly killing me. So yes, I removed every trace of Leonardo so I wouldn't be reminded of how badly I had failed."
"Why didn't you tell us any of this before now," Donatello asked plaintively. "This affected all of us; we had a right to know."
"At first, you were too young to comprehend," Splinter said. "By the time you were old enough to understand what I was telling you, you'd stopped asking. Given how difficult that time was for all of our family, I didn't want to reopen any wounds."
"And you didn't want to face your own culpability," Raphael spat. "So you took the coward's way out and didn't say anything at all."
"Raphael…" Splinter started, but the angry turtle cut him off.
"No. I can't talk to you anymore right now. I'm going to go find my brother and beg his forgiveness for what I did to him tonight. When he's ready, we'll come back and you can explain to him why his father betrayed him like you did. The rest is up to him. But know this: I belong to him now. He's my twin, my brother, my friend, and my leader. I go where he goes, even if that means leaving home. You made your choice ten years ago; I'm making mine tonight."
And with that, Raphael turned and left the dojo.
So, having heard Splinter's side of things, what do you think? I'm truly curious about everyone's take on his choice. Oh, and I hope you liked Raph's pledge to Leo. Of course, he'll have to deliver it to his brother in person at some point, but he's got to find Leo first; we all know what kind of trouble Leo can get into by himself. Oh, and Splinter's not the only keeping secrets. Someone else is about to reveal some real doozies to Leo here soon. You'll just have to wait and see...