Sprat: a small or inconsequential person or thing.
January 6, 1980
It had taken him nine years to figure it out – no, to admit it to himself. He'd always known, deep down, in the core of himself where only truths lie. He was nothing to them. He had always been nothing. Glory, heroism, brotherhood, it didn't rub off. He had come into the world as a tagalong, an extra, an unplanned, unasked-for little nuisance only his mother could ever grow fond of.
It had taken him only seven years to figure that out in his own family. Why had it taken him so long with them?
In the mirror behind the bar, he watched the way James flung his arm around Sirius's neck, the way Lily beamed to see the slow smile Remus hid behind his drink, the way the laughter filled their faces and they were glad, in the middle of hell, just to be in each other's company. He had never once in spired those things in any of them. In anyone.
"Is he still sulking?" he heard Sirius ask loudly, clearly meant for him to hear.
James craned his neck around to find Peter hunched over the bar. "Come on, Pete! Come back to us!" he called.
"We miss you!" Sirius shouted, one hand extended to Peter, the other over his heart. "We haven't got anyone to get us drinks!"
And for the first time, Peter let himself hear the mockery under the words for what it was. Not friendly joking, not even cruel jabs. Just plain, thoughtless mockery because that was all he was to them. These were the people he was putting his life down for, for whom he'd nearly gotten killed half a dozen times.
Why?
He had been so busy trying not to be terrified out of his mind, to do what James and Sirius were doing because that was all he'd ever tried to do, that he had never stopped to ask himself the question. Because they were popular? Because people would like him if they liked him? Because they would stop him from getting picked on?
Things had changed since he was eleven. But he was still the annoying little tagalong he'd always been.
A/N: I've decided to do a set. January 7th and 8th will belong to James and Remus when I get around to them (and I WILL) :) Also, if anybody is still keeping tabs on this story, (I really hope you are despite my utter lack of updates) I've put up a new poll and would love some votes for it! Anyway, love you all!