The room seemed so small to Tali, as if the dimensions were slowly constricting on her, restricting the overall space she had to move. She did not know how long she had been standing in place, as her head turned every which way. Five minutes? Thirty? An hour?

The corners of Liara's bed were unmade, so she walked over and unconsciously smoothed the sheets out, straightening it in case it was to be used again. Finishing that up, Tali sat on the edge of the bed and eyed the door anxiously as she gripped the mattress, as if Liara would miraculously walk in and sit in front of her desk, just like if everything was completely normal.

But Tali knew deep down this was one change that could not be reverted, no matter how much she wished.

Tali, after waiting a bit longer, stood and slowly trudged over to the door, Liara's monitors tracking her every movement, columns of data scrolling by them as information blinked, waiting to be opened. Before leaving, she cast one last glance at the empty room, giving a small sigh as her body wilted. She could shed no more tears; those had run out when she had held the dying asari in her hands on Thessia. Tali could only remember the pitiful gasps coming from her dear friend as she lay mortally wounded, begging her to hold out for a little more as she sobbed over her.

Fate certainly was not doing her any favors as it seemed it was actively conspiring against her to take away every person she loved.

But she still had Shepard…

She wondered how he was taking the whole ordeal. The human had been very quiet on the shuttle ride back up. He had not said a word as the Normandy jumped out of the system, as Liara was respectfully taken out to be set in a cold coffin somewhere in the corner, as his friends stood in shock as the news was broken to them, that a good friend was now forever…gone.

Tali knew that James was busy working out in the shuttle bay, mercilessly pummeling a punching bag to relieve his stress. Joker was still seated in the cockpit but being uncharacteristically silent as EDI quietly analyzed his reactions. Garrus had locked himself in the main battery so that he could focus on his work and possibly also grieve to himself. He and Liara had never been as close as Tali was but she knew that there was still a deep bond between the two that had now been irreparably shattered. The turian was just doing what he felt was the only thing to do in this case: find something to take his mind off the pain.

Of Shepard, she had not seen him since they had arrived back on the ship. Taking the first instance, he simply headed for the elevator and disappeared from sight, not wanting to interact with anyone at all. She understood his need for solitude at the time and did not bother further pursuit, but it had been a long time now as she checked her chronometer and discovered to her shock that almost five hours had passed since their campaign on Thessia had ended. She wrung her hands together as she decided it was time to go looking for him.

"EDI," she said aloud, voice shaking somewhat, "Do you happen to know where John is?"

"The commander is currently present in the lounge, Tali," the AI responded. "He has requested that no one disturb him."

The lounge was conveniently on her level so she headed over, despite EDI's observations. As expected, the door was lit with the glowing red icon of a locked door. She stopped in front of it, tapping her foot expectantly as she spoke again.

"EDI, I'm going to need to access the lounge. I don't care what John ordered."

"Commander Shepard was quite insistent that no one enter-"

"EDI, please," she sighed. "He needs to be with someone right now. We both do. Open the door."

There was a brief pause of no more than four seconds, but Tali could tell that the AI had done some serious processing over the moral implications of the decision presented to her. Logic versus emotion was the battle here, the implications unknown.

"Very well, Tali," EDI said smoothly as the lock turned green. "But I will lock it behind you until the commander is ready for further interaction."

"Thank you, EDI."

It was a rare occurrence that Tali would ever step into the lounge, now that she thought about it. All this time she had served on the ship and she had never found a proper reason to detour here at all. Sure, it had some plush chairs, a bar that happened to have dextro alcohol included, and a poker table of all things. If it were not for her splitting her time between her duties in engineering and relaxing in Shepard's cabin, then she might have resided here for a lot longer than she would have normally.

But oddly enough, Shepard did not even seem to be in the room. No one was sitting in the comfy chairs, fiddling at the poker table, or perched at the bar enjoying a drink. It's not like the room was large enough for someone to hide so easily. Tali was about to query EDI for Shepard's whereabouts again, running through the situation in her head that the AI might have been mistaken for once, when she heard a small sigh emit from behind the bar.

Peering around, she was startled to see Shepard leaning against the counter on the floor, feet propped on the opposite side as he was wedged in what looked like a slightly uncomfortable position. His clothes were disheveled and his eyes were raw, as if he had been rubbing at them despite the lack of tears. In one hand he held a bottle of an amber colored liquid, labeled "Red Stag." Tali had no idea what a stag was but she surmised quickly that the drink looked rather potent, which was rather alarming because half the bottle had already been consumed.

Shepard craned his head upward to see her standing before him, looking away after a brief moment. "Tali," he mumbled. "How did you get in?"

She gave no words until she sat down beside him, pressing the side of her frame against his. "I'm…I'm worried about you, is all. Everyone is, actually. You've been stuck in here for a while."

He gave a long pull of the bottle he held in response. Smacking his lips, he grimaced, "I just can't look at their faces now. I…I don't want to see all their pain and shock at how…" He broke off as his he shut his eyes regretfully, "Even…even I still can't believe that she's…gone."

Tali leaned her body so that her head was resting on Shepard's shoulder, a comforting motion. "I know, John," she whispered. "I know. But don't you think that you're overdoing it a bit? I don't think that Liara would want you to mourn her but shutting yourself out to everyone and drinking in despair."

"It doesn't matter either way. I can't get drunk, remember?" With a harsh laugh, he raised the bottle to his lips again until Tali yanked it out of his hand.

"Honestly, John. You're not doing anyone any good with this. What possible outcome were you expecting if you can't drink yourself comatose in the first place?"

He accepted the abduction of his drink with an exasperated shrug, "Just because my body filters all the alcohol out quickly, doesn't mean that I can't get a brief buzz if I drink fast enough."

"And how has that worked out for you?"

"Well, I managed to get the room to start spinning for almost a full minute a few hours ago."

"That's enough of this, then," Tali said with finality as she set the bourbon on her opposite side. "Modified liver or no, I'm not going to let you turn to drink to hide your grief."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Tali grabbed his chin with her hand and forced him to look at her. Her voice was fierce as she spoke, "John, listen. Do you think you're the only one hurting? Liara was a good friend to you but she was like a sister to me. And now that I've finished with my mourning, I can't even cry for Liara anymore, John. I just physically can't, so how do you think I feel about that?"

"I don't know," he sighed bitterly, gesturing to his ersatz eyes. "How do you feel?"

Tali gave herself a firm mental smacking. Idiot, that was dumb of you. "Bad example, John. I apologize. But do you think you're entitled to this? Just locking yourself up and shutting everyone out, including me. How do you think that makes me feel on top of what just happened?"

He covered his face with his hands. "I don't know, Tali," he moaned. "I just don't know."

"That's what I thought," she nodded sadly, placing an arm around his neck. "John, everyone is concerned that you're not talking. They want to know that their commander is well. They expect you to be torn up about Liara but they need someone to help guide them through this. Trust me, everyone is devastated about Liara, John…and they don't know how to take it. They need Commander Shepard."

Shepard banged his head against the counter slightly, grumbling, "And you, Tali? Do you really need me to guide you for this? You seem to have it all figured out, why is that?"

"Me?" Tali gestured in surprise. "I've been fortunate enough to have two wonderful friends that have guided me for a long time. Maybe it's only time that I inherit their mantle now. All I've done was remember what you and Liara said just a while ago. Both of you had the answers this whole time, to dealing with events like this, to coping and moving on."

"Which was?"

"That letting grief take over will not save any more people. That continuing to fight, even when things look bleak, will make all the difference. And…" she slid her left hand into Shepard's as she spoke, his grip jerking uncomfortably before he relented, "And that…I do need you, now more than ever. Just as you need me."

Shepard raised his free hand to his eyebrows, rubbing them in frustration as her words hit home. He felt like slapping himself, for being such a conceited idiot until he realized that Tali had done all the slapping for him. What was he to expect from all this, anyway? He knew that things were going to get rough eventually but was he truly prepared for how rough the going would get? Was he simply riding a wave of overconfidence, thinking that he would skirt through this war, unfazed just like always, and emerge from the other side with an enormous grin and the prospect of a normal life ahead?

No, he had to concede her point. There was the distinct possibility that things were only going to get darker and that he needed to stop and face reality. If he could not afford to be loath to his own mortality any more, then he needed to focus on the people who lived around him. The ones who did not deserve to join Liara. The dead could not be bothered any more, but they could be avenged.

He tapped his fingers against his leg in frustration, "And how long have I been in this position, exactly?"

"Almost five hours."

Shepard's body shot up. "What?" he gaped. "That long? Really?"

Tali could not tell if he was being serious or not. Maybe that alcohol had done more damage than he had let on. "Uh…really."

"Damn," he blinked, feeling more sober and certainly acting like it. "No wonder the crew's been worried. That was certainly a boneheaded move on my part."

"You're just noticing this now?" Tali was getting more and more incredulous by the second, disbelieving his rather abrupt attitude change.

Shepard groaned as he stood, stretching his limbs and rubbing his head. Tali still clutched his drink as she rose alongside him, throwing a hand on his chest to steady him just in case. To his credit, he only staggered slightly but welcomed the help all the same.

He gave a quiet laugh, "Some days I wonder what exactly you see in a broken old idiot like myself."

She responded just as playfully, "It's the days when you don't act like a broken old idiot that I see a good man within. The man that I was smitten with the first time I laid eyes on him."

"Are you deliberately trying to make me feel even more guilty?"

"I'm trying to help you. I want for Commander Shepard to be the fearless leader that I know him as. I want for John to be my guide and reassure me that everything will be all right. I need to know that Liara did not die for nothing."

His smile was held back by sadness, weighing him down like a pair of concrete shoes. The brief glimpse Tali had at the man who used to be full of life gave her hope in that amount of time before that man vanished, replaced by a weathered and tortured expression. The face of a man who had been fighting too long to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"I…" he gave a shrug, "I know that Liara did not die for nothing, Tali. I can promise you that she gave her life for a cause that she believed in, that we all believe in, that we have the ability to end this war once and for all."

There was something else, she sensed. "But…?"

He sighed, "But I cannot promise you that everything will be all right. I cannot promise anyone that our cause might be hopeless in every regard. Hell, I can't even promise that…"

(Laughter came first, then a scream)

"...that I will live to see it through, Tali. Surely you must know this."

She did not seem to want to accept this fact for she hugged him, her body pressing his back into the counter as she squeezed his torso tightly. Shepard patted the back of her head and Tali looked upward at his face. "Then promise me this," she breathed. "Promise me that you'll be with me the entire time."

Shepard gave a serene look, "Now that is something I can promise."

Tali pulled away, most certainly smiling as she still grasped the half-empty bourbon bottle. "I guess that is as good as it's going to get," she shrugged as she produced a straw from one of many hidden pockets. Shepard eyed her apprehensively as she inserted it into the bottle as she connected it to the slot in her helmet. "Something to drink to, right?"

He scratched his head in confusion, "Uh…Tali? You do know that drink isn't dextro, right?"

"Does it look like I give a damn? It's the only thing within reach and probably the least dangerous threat to my health at this point."

"Even so, it may be too strong for you…"

"Then the hell with it," she gave an exaggerated shrug as the warm liquid surged up the thin tube. What happened next was like watching a train wreck for Shepard. Tali immediately gagged and spat out the bourbon, splattering the inside of her visor a murky brown. The bottle nearly slipped out of her hands as she violently jerked, coughing and choking as Shepard could only stare, astonished.

"Ack!" Tali managed as she spat out the remaining liquid from her mouth instinctively, "How the…how could you even drink something like this? Is it supposed to burn your mouth so badly?"

Shepard was still in disbelief at her reaction that it took him a while to finally change expressions, let alone make a sound. When he finally did, he had to grab on the counter to prevent him from falling because he was laughing so hard, the noise echoing around the small room. Tali glowered as the human fell into hysterics.

"It wasn't that funny, you know."

"I…did…warn…you!" Shepard said as he attempted to breathe. "What exactly…came over you…to even drink that in the first place?"

"I don't know," she moaned in embarrassment, setting the bottle down on the counter. "Somehow, this is all your fault."

"Proper warning was given. You have no one to blame but yourself."

"Whatever," she glowered as Shepard fought to control his smirking. "Now my helmet smells like…I can't really describe it, but it burns my nose."

Shepard now initiated the hug as he brought the poor quarian over, assuaging her and taking her mind off her social faux pas. He was still chuckling as she began to laugh as well from his disbelieving reaction, causing him to laugh harder in response. "We should probably clean out that visor, there. I don't really think that it's a good idea for you to be breathing in all that alcohol after you…uh…spewed it all out."

"That's what I get for drinking with a helmet on," she sighed. "But all my cleaning stuff is in your cabin. Shall we go or do you want to wait until I asphyxiate from these uncomfortable fumes? Five more minutes and I reckon that I will be unconscious by then."

"Oh, Tali," he laughed, walking her over to the door as it unlocked. "My sweet, silly, Tali." She fell into his grip as they strode over to the elevator. Along the way, Shepard spied Garrus grabbing something to eat over at the mess and they locked eyes for a moment. Acknowledging the turian's blue stare, he gave a solemn nod to which Garrus returned back.

That was all that needed to be said between them, for the turian seemed to perk up slightly, eyes relaxing at the sight of Shepard. The commander moved into the elevator and held Garrus' relieved stare in his mind as the tiny box shot to the topmost floor.

He knew then that things would be just fine.

Hours later, Shepard stood in his dress blues, skin less clammy after that disastrous ordeal back in the lounge, in front of the projections of admirals Anderson and Hackett as they conversed. Shepard glanced at the map on the console to his left, detailing their location as dot after dot filled the screen before turning back to Anderson as the other man spoke.

"It's worse here than we thought. The Reapers have come to the system in force and they have brought something along with them."

He waved a hand and a projection of a bullet-shaped structure appeared in front of the admiral but Shepard could tell what it was, despite the altered appearance. Perhaps his own luck was just making fun of him whenever they seemed to make a breakthrough. For every step forward they took, the goal was snatched two steps away.

"The Citadel," he sighed. "Damn it, the Reapers knew it was the Catalyst all along and locked it down entirely."

"And so they moved it to Earth to protect it, is the current hypothesis?"

"It certainly stands to reason," Hackett said gravely. "There's no other tactical purpose moving the Citadel to the Sol system unless the Reapers knew what we have planned."

Shepard thought hard, "They have witnessed the Crucible being constructed before so it wouldn't be unlikely for them to recollect the significant components necessary for its completion, their own station least of all."

"Agreed," Anderson nodded. "Which is why you should call in all of your favors and send the fleets Earthside as soon as possible."

"Already done there, admiral," Hackett acknowledged, enlarging the map that Shepard had been previously looking at, the little red dots filling the blank void in front of them, indicating ships of different sizes and origins. "We've sent out the word. Thanks to Shepard's actions we practically have the whole might of the galaxy waiting to face these Reapers. There's literally no better time to strike. Every second we waste costs lives and a full frontal assault for our survival will justify us using all of our resources at once."

"When should we expect you?"

"Our current projections place it at sixteen more hours until we finish mobilization over here at Arcturus. Once that is completed, we will commence departure for the Local Cluster posthaste."

The dark man looked relieved, "Glad to hear it. What about you, Shepard? What are your current thoughts?"

Shepard tried to be as blasé as possible, "Well, it's like Admiral Hackett said. Our fleet strength is at its highest and the Crucible is practically completed. We've hit some rough spots but it's about time that we see this thing through to the end. The crew's been alerted, all hands are preparing for battle as we speak. All we need to do now is find a way onto the Citadel itself…"

"Way ahead of you, Shepard. Our scouting parties have reported that ever since the station initiated geosynchronous orbit, a beam has appeared in the middle of downtown London where we are, acting as a sort of spawn point for its troops."

"A beam acting as a spawn point?"

"That was our first reaction, but footage revealed that dozens of the thralls were simply walking out of it which means that the beam acts as a kind of transport to and from the Citadel. Right now, with the arms being in the lockdown position, it's our only option at this point."

Shepard leaned against the railing, "That's already looking at step seven when we haven't even gotten past step one. First we need to get down to Earth itself without being blasted by one of the thousand Reapers in orbit."

"You've got a fleet, Shepard. And the best damn ship in the galaxy. You'll do fine."

"I hope you'll forgive me if your optimism isn't as contagious as you want it to be."

"Nevertheless," Hackett interjected, "Admiral Anderson has a point. With the Citadel in lockdown, we won't be able to dock the Crucible until the lockdown is lifted. That is our main objective, storm the beam, infiltrate the station, open the arms and hope for the best."

Shepard nodded at the plan before a thought came to mind, "Do we even know how to fire the thing? Did it come with a big red button for when the time is right or something?"

Hackett folded his hands behind his back, "Based on the schematics Dr. T'Soni uploaded, it appears that the Crucible will begin gathering the appropriate levels of energy once it has docked. When it has reached a certain level, it will automatically fire. All we have to do is hope that we didn't screw something up during constructing or if those Protheans weren't full of shit, pardon my French."

"I'm with you there, admiral," came Shepard's dry response. "We won't know for sure unless we go and do it. But, as mentioned before, we don't have any other choice. This decision is worth it from my point of view."

"We're all committed here, commander. Everyone realizes that this isn't a time for half measures. It's win or lose, all or nothing. But this time, we…take…all."

"Damn right, sir," Shepard saluted.

"Good luck, Shepard."

"And happy hunting as well," Anderson intoned. "I look forward to your arrival at the FOB once the cavalry has arrived. It'll be nice to see you in person again and the crew of regulars."

Shepard grinned, "Likewise, Anderson. See you soon and stay safe out there. Shepard out."

The elevator hummed as Shepard snapped the buttons of his collar off, releasing the hold on his neck, allowing him a little more comfort from the restrictive cloth. Fiddling some more with his jacket, he shrugged it off as the door chimed, signaling that it had reached his cabin. He walked out with mixed feelings, rather uncertain about the coming storm.

He had addressed the crew just a few minutes ago about the current agenda. There was no hesitation coming from any of them, to their everlasting credit. Actually, all of them seemed to take the news that they were going to assault the Reaper front lines with a moot acceptance, with a hidden eagerness buried deep down.

They were finally going to do it. They were taking the fight to Earth.

Shepard had recommended that everyone try to at least get a few hours sleep before they launched in roughly sixteen hours time. Who knew when the next opportunity to bunk would come into play. Within moments, the whole ship had become rather quiet as half of the crew took the opportunity to sleep while the rest waited for their turn in the sleeper pods.

James and Cortez were hard at work in the armory, adjusting and cleaning every one of the weapons in stock so that they would be battle ready. Joker was having a conversation with EDI as he tried (and failed) to complete a crossword to pass the time, despite EDI giving him all the hints he needed. Garrus was still cooped up in the main battery, still calibrating the Thanix cannon in case they needed a big explosion to get rid of something in their way. No telling if any future problems were going to call for a big kaboom.

And Tali...the last he had seen of her was when he had left his cabin to speak to Anderson and Hackett. She might have gone to engineering within that timeframe or there was the possibility that she was still inside. Either way, he intended to be with her in the same room for this one last night, maybe share a small meal together, a conversation perhaps. Surely he would not be so crude as to ask for-

His train of thought quickly derailed and went up in flames as he looked down near his bed, the bubbling of the fish tank sounding like the roar of waves from the sea. Near the foot of his bed, Tali's envirosuit lay neatly folded, her helmet and visor placed meticulously upon it. Eyes trailing upwards, he caught sight of a grey foot and it led up a similarly colored leg until her nervous face came into view.

Tali stood from the bed, stark naked, and she quickly rushed into Shepard's arms. Surprised by this development, he rested his palms against the smooth skin of her back as she clung to him, feeling the slight prickle of goosebumps as she was chilled by the air. She shuddered as she stood bare, locked in the reassuring embrace from her human, breath tickling his neck.

"I…" he heard her whisper, "I...I didn't know how else to ask…"

He tilted his head back, gazing upon her lovely face as he stroked her cheek. "You don't have to," he smiled.

"It's just..." Tali gave a nervous laugh, "I'm so scared. I n-never thought that this day would come s-so soon."

"Neither did I," he agreed, starting to feel a little jittery in the presence of the naked quarian. "I wanted more time, that's all I ever wanted. More time to spend with you, Tali, instead of fighting a war."

"I wanted that too," she sighed dejectedly. "If only we could have met under different circumstances, maybe then do you think we could have lived a normal life? Just us without all this drama?"

He pondered her question for a moment, "I don't know, Tali. It's an alternate reality that I can't really imagine at the moment with this war screwing everything up. But if we pull this off, then the prospect of actually living a normal life sounds just perfect to me. It just seems...right."

"Yeah," Tali nodded. "But I don't want to talk about that anymore. I don't want to talk about the war right now. I want for us to stand in each other's presence, unafraid, and shut everything else out. It sounds like a selfish thought...and it is. But given all that's happened already, I think I deserve a little leeway with regards to my being selfish."

"Tali," Shepard laughed, "If anyone deserves to be selfish once in a while, it's you. And I think you're onto something as well. Maybe I deserve to be selfish with you-"

"-A hundred times over, you bosh'tet," Tali rushed out before meeting her mouth with his. He immediately groaned as they started to grasp at each other, their tongues immediately gliding out and gathering in the middle. The familiar taste came back to Shepard immediately, recalling old and warm memories of them together. Perhaps Tali was more right than she gave herself credit for.

Her fingers slipped underneath his shirt and rose, yanking it off. While she was doing that, he fumbled at his belt as she passionately kissed him some more. Multitasking like this was becoming an impossibility for him. He was just not wired to focus on such things at a given time, as his hands kept missing the links on the belt in his haste.

Bending his knees to kick his pants off, his head aligned perfectly with her navel. With a greedy impulse, he smoothed his arms over her rear as he began to kiss her abdomen, pressing his face into the firm flesh as his lips trailed over and around her navel.

Tali moaned from above, her hands tenderly stroking his scalp as he ascended after removing the final article of clothing. She blew her hair out of her face as she started to pant, the heat rushing to her head. He did not let up on his determination in making out with her body, his tongue darting out slightly as he rose between her breasts, planting a soft kiss there. In seconds, their heads were at the same height again, but Tali was positively glowing as she gave a wide smile, all teeth, white as a winter's day.

In the middle of another fierce kiss, Tali's arms pushed out and Shepard (over-exaggerating the force of her shove) fell onto the bed with her right on his heels. She now began sliding upward next to him, her posture like a cat about to pounce on its prey and took her turn kissing his body. Each place she touched with her lips covered a small portion where his flesh had been scarred from the past few months. A faded mark from where he had been burned from a Collector particle rifle, a small line from where Kai Leng had stabbed him through his structure, and countless more accumulated over his long and various campaigns.

Tali threw a leg over Shepard's torso as she began straddling him. Bending down, she barely took her time to breathe before she lowered her head onto Shepard's awaiting lips and felt the heat bloom between them. She found herself shaking with need as she gradually sidled her hips further and further down until they were where she wanted them to be. They may have had hours left, but to her it felt like mere minutes. She could not bear a second longer, craving the intense throb. She was more than ready at this point.

Shepard was surprised with how quickly the night had been turned on his head and suddenly gripped the sheets tightly when he felt Tali lower herself onto him. He shut his eyes as she moaned in pleasure, slightly rocking forward to get used to the wonderful sensation again. She bent her back slightly and her hands fell onto his chest, propping herself up. Her six fingers grasped at his skin, leaving red marks behind as her body started to burn. Shepard, in turn, let his hands rise from her soft rear up to her breasts, flicking his thumbs across her nipples, causing her to coo in delight.

Tali's hips rose and fell as she set the pace, driving deliciously at him. Her hair flew everywhere as it became hard to breathe, resorting to deep and heavy gasping. Shepard lay propped up by the pillow and smiled as the quarian atop him appeared so happy. Her mouth was open but it was in an ample beam as her eyes shone right through him. As Tali's hands smoothed over his chest, he drew himself up slightly and moved his hands over her back, driving their heads together as Tali joyfully mumbled through her mouth in elation.

The kiss that followed was just as addicting as the ones that had come before it. All of Tali's emotions lay exposed within her kisses. The slight trembling of her lips, the desperation of her tongue, and the quiet little noises she made all indicated to him the delight she felt at the height of their intimacy. How he had not been driven crazy by this obviously lovesick woman by now must have merited its own reward because Shepard was once again reminded at how much Tali truly loved him.

Following his own, brash, internal advice, he gripped her back as Tali began to clutch her own breasts, breathing noisily as she was approaching her climax. He was close too but in no way did he want the night to be over that quickly. Stopping her pace with a kiss at the nape of her neck, he gently rolled over so that he was now on top, the exhausted quarian pawing at him from underneath.

Waiting a few seconds until he was certain that he could continue again, he pushed forward, grinning as Tali made every effort to quiet her moans and failing in spectacular fashion as she bit her lip, then the pillow, to just giving up altogether and letting her lustful noises escape into the air where they belonged.

As the warmth continued to burgeon, he started lose all focus with his surroundings. It was just the two of them, in this very room, on this very ship, it seemed. Their selfishness had peaked for the both of them. As he thrusted, Tali's gasps became fainter and fainter as the room started to fog. Blinking his eyes to clear it, not wanting to take his eyes off of her, he drove harder and harder, straining to overpower his demons.

The memory poured forth like a cold liquid as time lost all meaning, the feeling an icicle in his chest.

He clutched at her limp body as blood spilled out, her breathing slowing to an eventual stop. Tears running down his cheeks, he screamed as his flesh began to melt in the inferno as the laughter fell upon him-

His vision flared red for a brief moment and he gasped, freezing in place. The memory left him out of breath as all of the heat seemed to vanish from him and he was left feeling cold, alone. The room's contours seemed to melt around him as he shivered, causing him to shut his eyes for fearing that if he opened them, he would find-

"J-John?"

Her voice drove the iciness away, sending warmth flooding back through him. Shepard breathed in very slowly as his blood pounded in his ears. He looked down as he was positioned stiffly in place, Tali's eyes shining underneath him, uncomprehending. Her mouth was agape in a soft moan, her chest was beaded with sweat. Her fingers raked at him, desperate for him to continue.

"Oh no, John…" she begged, "John…please…"

He quickly brought a hand to her head as he gently stroked her hair, feeling the strands run between his fingers. Letting his racing pulse calm down, he closed his eyes and laid a tender kiss on her forehead. She too closed her eyes and was rewarded when she felt his soft lips soon combine with hers, both paused in time as they slightly sucked, running their tongues over one another's as he let his unspoken assurance comfort her.

Fully recovered, lips still intertwined, Shepard moved his body forward once more, causing her to expel her breath into his mouth in surprise. The feeling of him pushing back and forth, his arms holding her from underneath, was bringing her close to the edge once more.

Tali's limbs ached and the heat was making it hard to breathe but she didn't want to stop, not yet. Her legs wrapped around Shepard's body as she now fully embraced him, moving her hips in time with him, thereby doubling the pleasure on both of their ends. She bit her lip in another attempt to keep from crying loudly but Shepard made no such effort, letting his groan echo throughout her.

He lowered his forehead onto hers but they did not kiss. Instead, they both closed their eyes and gasped together as they drew closer as one. Her tongue flickered out of her mouth unconsciously and found his lips, brushing across them quickly. She did this several times until he finally grew impatient and lowered his mouth onto hers, taking full advantage of kissing her deeply as they continued to make love.

Within moments, Tali suddenly felt a warmth rushing down there and she clawed at his back as she loudly moaned. As the inevitable approached, for good this time, she gasped out, "Hold on! John, please hold on!"

Shepard didn't verbally respond but instead managed to draw himself deeper, going at her faster with an intensity she had never felt before. Tali was bucking furiously, her hips rising and falling to meet his energy in stride, sending the sheets around her billowing as the bed rocked underneath them. Sweat flew in the air as she grunted huskily, rapidly reaching her peak.

The wonderful throb quickly turned into a full-bodied ache and she screamed as every single strand of her muscles tensed for what seemed like an eternity before relaxing, causing her to flop down on the bed, giving a thankful moan. Shepard also yelled with her, their bodies surging as both of them climaxed at the same time. She could see the cords stand out on his neck, his scarred skin turn red, before he carefully lowered himself down so that his head lay atop her chest as the height of his pleasure passed, limbs feeling rubbery afterward.

The both of them were tired, hot, and sweaty but they didn't seem to notice the immediate slight discomforts. Tali's belly was rising up and down as she got her wind back, her warm and soft abdomen pressing into Shepard's chest as she stroked his head. Shepard melded to her in her touch, his body still situated between her legs.

She kissed his head, feeling the shorn hair part at her touch as he in turn kissed the side of her breast, head situated in between them, letting any soft flesh in his reach become touched by his lips, surrounding him in grey. She smiled as she clutched the still panting Shepard closely to her, holding his head to her chest as he wrapped his arms around her lower body, ignoring the faint mechanical sounds in the air. He seemed so helpless in her arms, so frail. Too see him like this, it was vividly apparent of how much his being depended on her involvement in his life. It was a sobering thought for Tali to know that without her, John Shepard was essentially nothing. His drive to live, to succeed, would never have lasted as long if she had not come into his life, nor would hers for that matter.

"Thank you," she let out the barest of whispers. "Thank you."

He tightened his grip around her in response and she tilted her head back on the pillow, still gently stroking his head, a tiny, knowing smile on her face. To think that her, Tali'Zorah the quarian admiral, had essentially saved John Shepard, the Savior of the Citadel, was beyond a doubt, overpowering. He had been the immovable rock to the entire crew, but she had been his immovable rock. She was the anchor he was tied to, whom he always came back to.

Feeling the tendrils of sleep encroach upon them, Shepard slid upward as both of them slipped the covers over themselves. However, he grabbed the edge of the sheet and pulled it so that it completely encased them both. They were now trapped in the darkness but they could share it with each other. There was no war here, no conflict, no fear. Just the two of them and their burning love for each other.

Tali scooted forward so that her entire body was touching alongside Shepard's, feeling the delight of skin against her once more, apart from the smooth and cool sheets lying on her body. Piercing the darkness, his face came to hers as his lips made contact. She hungrily and gratefully responded, drawing from him a passion that roared from within the both of them, an emotion so obvious that needed no words to voice. They knew where they belonged.

The sheets churned and tangled as the heat rose once more before the room quieted, its inhabitants lost to the endless dreamy wonder.

The cold air flew around him but oddly, he did not feel a chill. The wind was there, it existed as it hit him, but he could only feel the vibration when it impacted his frame. This was strange, from the look of the dead trees around the time of the warmer months had long passed. It should feel cold to him, at the very least.

He pushed aside a small bush and felt only a brief tingle from his fingertips as the unhealthy green leaves snapped back across his arm, making a metallic ting!

With horror, he glanced downward and saw his hands reaching outward, purged of the fleshy covering that hid it from sight. The gleaming grey and black of his head shone underneath the cloud cover. His true form lay exposed for all to see, the famous Commander Shepard, held together by nuts and bolts, no better than Saren.

"No…" he whispered in the now still air. "This…this isn't me…"

"Really?" came a gravelly voice. "It sure looks like the real you from where I stand."

Turning around, he saw the ash and lightning give form to the shadow across the clearing. Stepping forward, the black form of Rukin appeared to be smiling as he approached, arms spread wide in a gesture of trust, of acceptance.

"All this time and you still haven't accepted yourself for who you really are? Maybe the face you've seen in the mirror recently is the lie. Maybe…this is who you were truly meant to be…"

"You have no idea what you're talking about, machine," he growled. "I never was meant to be like this. It was only through your involvement-"

"-That made you better! If it hadn't been for what you are you would never have made it this far. You would never have lived as long as you might have figured. Hell, you probably would have never seen that quarian that you are now with, if it wasn't for me."

"I warn you…if you lay one hand on Tali-"

Rukin barked dramatically, "What, Shepard? Kill me? That's not really the most original threat you can conjure anymore since you've already attempted that once. Look what only getting halfway with your warnings does to someone like me. Equal footing now, more fun to be had."

He lifted a gleaming arm at the black cyborg, "And do you consider 'that' to be the real you? Are you really so calm to accept the fact that you've been butchered and stuffed into a metal sack with my face as dressing?"

An arm rose to knock on a gleaming chestplate, "It's who I am now. The Shepard persona was just a mask, a tool to be utilized. I am what I am meant to be, nothing more. If I was to be a salarian, then that would be fine. A turian? Not a problem? A cybernetic organism built for the purpose of dismantling the enemies of Cerberus? Perfectly fine. You see, Shepard, your problem this whole time was you living in the past and hoping it contained all the answers. Trying to reclaim your old life because you had the delusion of being Commander Shepard again."

He bristled underneath the red gaze, "I still am Commander Shepard. I did not choose this life, that was made without my input. Had I been asked, I would have rather died than live a life like this."

"So dark, Shepard. Do you truly mean that? I'm just saying, you're a Spectre again, aren't you? The Alliance has accepted you back, and to top it all off, you have the quarian to boot. It seems like your resurrection has worked out for you quite well in the end, so why don't you revise your statement so that you're not lying poorly to my face?

He stepped forward, face almost touching Rukin's as he let the snarl escape his throat, every noise perfectly enunciated. "Had I known on the onset, without any clue as to what would happen. I would have wanted to die."

A breathy chuckle emitted from Rukin, a flash of lightning illuminating his terrifying features as dead leaves flew everywhere, "So you say. Personally, I would have welcomed the second chance. It's an interesting conundrum that you possess, Shepard. I'm actually having trouble deciding if you're a man of firm principles or simply a coward underneath. But, I have to admit, you have been quite the worthy opponent, so I must thank you for giving me my reason to live."

"Fuck you and your reasons," he spat. "The only other thing I'll admit to your face is that I regret not killing you enough."

The black skull seemed to smile, "I believe that you may get that chance soon enough."

"I will murder you, I swear to that." He held up his hands, watching the fingers clench together, clicking upon solid metal as they shook from the pressure placed on it. "And I will dismantle you piece by piece for what you did to Liara, I swear to god."

"Just for what I did to the asari?"

His breaking point for lashing out at the shadow was nearing in the face of its arrogance. "I don't care for what other crimes you have committed that warrant me putting you down for good. It makes no difference in the end."

Rukin lifted a hand as it twirled a pistol before steadily aiming it across the clearing, straight at him. "Wrong, Shepard. It makes all the difference."

He gave a disbelieving laugh, "What, are you going to shoot me? In my own nightmare? You can taunt me all you want but you can't physically hurt me."

"You're right," the skull acknowledged. "I can't physically hurt you." With a slight twitch of Rukin's hand, aiming the gun to the left Shepard's head, the gun fired, making him jump as the bullet passed within centimeters of his temple. Trying furiously to track the bullet, he turned completely around as he watched the target behind him crumple.

Tali clutched her hands to her stomach, blood spurting free as she fell to her knees. His mouth agape, he began to run over as Rukin laughed in the background. With each clomp of feet, it did not feel like he was gaining on her, but as if her form was being dragged further away. He screamed, trying to drown out the laugh but it only amplified in volume, its timbre shaking his very being, his very soul.

Desperate to reach the twitching and crying quarian on the ground, he hit the ground on all fours and frantically drove himself forward like an animal. Snarling wildly, he dug at the ground with all of his might in an attempt to increase his velocity. Her position did not change. He was still not moving.

Teeth clattered as his limbs surged forward. Rukin's laughter drowned out his own roar. The darkness was creeping inside of him once more, coating him with cold, uprooting his warmth. Tendrils intruded upon his vision and he shook his head to get rid of the filter but still it persisted, still it advanced. They were creeping, constricting, covering, as he finally gave out collapsing in the dirt.

Before the last speck of light faded from view, he cried out, "Tali! TALI!"

"Tali!" he gasped aloud as he sat up, the sheets crumpling off his body. He rubbed his arms, trying to drive away the cold as he looked down and to the left.

Tali was where he had last seen her, asleep at his side, eyes peacefully shut as she was oblivious to his plight. He breathed out in relief, the dream had seemed so real. As had them all for the past several months. He could not take this anymore.

He rose up off the bed, ignoring the sleepy mumble of "John?" from Tali as he walked towards the bathroom. He did not waste any time hitting the button for the shower and sighed as the torrent seeped into his skin, drawing out the cold like poison from a wound. The last inclinations of sleep still pressed upon him and he leaned against the wall of the shower. Moving his feet out, he slid down the shiny surface until he was sitting upright as the water fell upon him, still hot, but at least this way he could not have to stand any longer.

Shepard sighed, letting the liquid trickle into his mouth before breathing it out as his head pulsed uncomfortably. The ache was receding so more time spent in here looked to be a necessity at this point. There were little universal comfort factors shared amongst species but a hot shower was one of them. Something about the sensation of being covered in a warm liquid that granted purification. It was almost as if it had a reverent significance.

He really had no idea if he had been only sitting for a minute or all day when he heard someone distinctively clear their throat from the entrance. He opened his eyes a crack, squinting through the water permeating his vision as he saw Tali standing in front of him, arms crossed over her chest, face in an exasperated expression as she regarded him from afar, looking like she was tired of him and his antics.

Shepard was about to get up and turn off the shower so that they could talk but she surprised him by walking into the spray, (letting out a muffled gasp as the hot liquid touched her skin) and sitting down beside him, a soft and forgiving smile upon her lips.

She nudged his foot with her foot and procured his hand with her own, gently playing with his fingers as he scooted over so that they were sharing their heat within the shower. Tali's other hand rose and the water started to pool in her palm, exposing her to the delight of water running over skin. Tali's hair was plastered to her head and Shepard pushed it out of her face so he could see her features. He never saw them enough as it was already.

Moving on from his fingers, her hands gingerly traced the sides of his head as she leaned it to lightly place a kiss on his cheek, her breath tickling him as she lingered.

"I will only ask one time," she whispered in his ear, "After that I won't bother you again if you want, no matter your answer. But please, John, tell me what you're dreaming about. Tell me what it is that's haunting you. Tell me what causes you to shut me out when you cry out at night for me."

He gazed at her anxious look, "How many nights have I called out for you in my sleep?"

"Almost every night, John. Multiple times per night, in fact. But whenever I hold you as you sleep you always calm down. Just as you did for me when I was recovering from my sickness after the Collector base."

He cast his glare bitterly to the side, "If only it was all brought on by sickness, Tali. If only."

Tali slid her arms around the human's body, ignoring the lack of give from within. "Tell me," she begged. "Please tell me what is in your dreams."

Dreams, by their very nature, were private matters. Brief glimpses into the inner workings of one's true psyche. Deep sleep had a tendency to bring about the most nebulous of images but Shepard's were all coherent, they lingered. But if his own thoughts were no longer private, then what did he still have control of?

"I keep on seeing you die," he said abruptly. Tali closed her eyes as her face lay on his upper arm, sniffling a bit. He stroked her hair as he continued, "Every night, I'm in a forest. Everything around me is dead, the leaves are gone, the ground mixed with ash as if a battle had taken place there recently." He swallowed, "And every time, I'm in my old body...my new one I mean." He pinched the web of his hand for emphasis, forcing the skin back to wrap around and define the contours of the underlying structure.

Tali's eyes widened but she remained raptured by his solemn tone. "And every time I walk around that forest, you…" He took a ragged breath around the downpour of the shower, "I see you get shot. Sometimes I make it to where you fall, sometimes I don't. The...the result is always the same. Whether I hold you in my arms or have to watch from a distance, you die."

Tali bit her lip. She had secretly been expecting an outcome like this. What else would have made Shepard act the way he did if not her own death? Was it the prospect of losing her that worried him or was it a taunt? A gloat implanted in his head to torture him night after night on what he held most dear. The very idea of his soulmate torn from him was killing him.

She squeezed him firmly, setting aside her morbid thoughts for a more optimistic view. "What do you think it means? Your dreams of me dying? Do you think it's a glimpse of the future? Or a memory that won't go away?"

"I…" Shepard sighed dejectedly, "I can't tell. I don't know if I've just been paranoid this whole time or the Reapers have successfully indoctrinated me with their intruding thoughts, but I can't get it out of my head."

"And you think that if we defeat the Reapers, these thoughts will go too?"

"There would be no reason for them to exist," he considered before savagely pounding the floor, startling her. "Why is it that nothing in my life ever seems to remain normal for just one minute? Just when I start getting used to my new form, I am thrust right into the thick of things once more. Liara is dead, my mind filled with pain, and we are about to determine the fate of the galaxy which could very well be our last day alive." He accentuated each word with a blow to the floor, "It's...so...fucking...unfair!"

In a flash, Tali turned to the side and held onto Shepard as they slid further down onto the floor. She opened her mouth and he was there for her, locking lips as their tongues intensely dueled. The raining liquid sluiced down around them but it only intensified their arousal even more. The pair became a mash of tangled, slippery limbs as they fought to sit upright as they grappled, both holding the other so closely that they were afraid they would be lost forever if they let go.

With a blast of heat, both of them paused in their duties at the same time, the intruding shower impairing their breathing even more, leaving them in danger of drowning. They parted, breathless, as they shared the same space, existing with the same body, the same life.

Shepard finally smiled, the sensation itself an enormous effort. "If a normal life is too much to ask for," he said, wiping away a few strands of hair away from Tali's beautiful blue eyes, the water beading on her lush cheeks, "Then this is all I could really ask for."

Tali kissed him lightly on the lips, "But what if it was a goal within reach?"

"I would take it. In a heartbeat, I would take it."

She showed off her perfect teeth in a wide grin, "Take what, exactly? Living with me?"

"You'd be first on the list, yes," he agreed as he returned her kiss.

She lifted her eyes upward as she pretended to think hard, "How about a house?"

"Of course. I already promised that I would build one for you." Another kiss.

"A paying job?"

"If it comes to it, I'll take a cubicle over a battlefield any day," as he supplied her with yet one more kiss.

"A family?"

He stopped as he was about to deliver his next kiss, his breath halting within his throat. He pulled back to see Tali's completely serious expression across from him. There was no tremble from her body, no shaking of her limbs, no wavering of her voice. It was an aspect that she had been considering thoughtfully for a long time and wanted his opinion when she would present it at the opportune time.

Shepard chose his next words carefully before speaking softly to the wide-eyed quarian, "Is...is that what you truly want, Tali? A family?"

She gave a timid nod, "It...there is no one else that I would trust for that. No one...except you, John."

He ran through the scenarios in his head, taking everything to mind as he spoke next, "You mean...a child? You'd be willing to do that?"

"Only if you were, John," she giggled nervously. "Only if you were."

Heart soaring high, he kissed her full on the mouth, hearing her gleeful sob of relief muffled from within. Tears now added to the mix, she shut her eyes as all the love she had accumulated came spilling out of her at the very notion, the confirmation that Shepard wanted her for the rest of her life. She had her answer as they remained locked in place underneath the warm spray.

Inexplicably, as they continued to devour in passion, a random thought popped into her head and latched on, unwilling to let go, bringing to her a bit of amusement in light of their current situation.

We're going to have to get a shower for the house.

A/N: Just a little fluff before the final battle. Thoughts on the matter?