Jim chose to sit indoors hoping to avoid being recognized and having to treat well-meaning intrusions with courtesy and kindness. The Rose and Thorn Pub served great burgers - including the disgusting veggie variety Uhura preferred - and had alcohol even Kirk hadn't tried yet despite McCoy's School for Dumb Hicks Who Drink Cheap Hooch.
Angel's Envy Bourbon and Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey spoke for them through three refills. Food filled their mouths for a half-hour or more. Kirk and Uhura were about to return to downing shots when the Irritant showed up.
The Irritant stood about 6'1" and massed over 100kg. Clearly local, his booze-soaked sweat indicated he'd arrived at the pub without his common sense or restraint intact.
"So here they are! The HEROES of the FED-eration" the Irritant announced.
The Irritant's shot glass salute didn't alter the impression that Kirk's and Uhura's presence somehow provoked him. Kirk cut his eyes at the noise. Uhura leaned forward to block his view, making sure Jim saw the slight shake of her head telling him to ignore the idiot.
"Without them, we'd be ridin' around on little bits of rock instead enjoying these fine drinks." The Irritant waved his free fingers in the air imitating matter dissipating through the ether of space.
Kirk's attention returned to the bartender as he motioned for refills for himself and Uhura. The bartender nodded, raised eyebrows communicating an apology, then poured without adding the shots to their tab.
"Yeah, look at'em. Starfleet's 'Rainbow Tribe'. They let anybody into that sorry excuse for a military. Women. Af-ree-cans."
The last words spoken with snide emphasis rocketed Kirk's eyes onto Uhura's. Slamming his shot glass down onto the bar's oak counter, Kirk swiveled the stool in preparation for standing. As his foot touched the floor a warm hand touched his shoulder.
"Jim, you can't do this. The news 'nets will pick this up in minutes. You'll lose the Enterprise. It's fine; I can handle this. Let's head back to your place. Please."
Protective, angry eyes met quiet, pleading eyes. The doe-like soft eyes won.
Kirk paid the bill and stood up, waiting for her to descend from the stool so he could place himself between her and the Irritant. To Kirk's relief and regret the Irritant let them pass.
Almost.
Having flushed them from their seats, the Irritant took his victory lap a tad too soon. Gloating, the drunk sent one last observation and gesture towards the two retreating officers. Grabbing Uhura's arm, the Irritant announced one redeeming aspect of Starfleet's failure to save Vulcan.
"At least there's 6 billion less of those planet-stealing Vulcan bastards walking around looking like the Devil's own army."
Kirk tensed in preparation for a fight but Uhura's arm extended across Jim's chest, stopping him. Turning back towards the Irritant, Uhura smiled and Kirk's blood ran cold.
"Sir," Uhura addressed the Irritant, "You do realize that your actions could be considered assault on my person..."
The drunk merely sneered back at the elfin woman.
"I'm well within my rights to protect myself. Take your hand off of me, please. Now." she commanded, never raising her voice.
The drunk squeezed her arm tighter. The smile never left Uhura's lips nor did any of her natural warmth invade her eyes.
One minute she was deadly still and the next minute the Irritant dropped - groaning in his soprano register, holding his mommy-loves-it parts and crying like a newborn babe. Applause broke out in the pub.
Shock froze Kirk to the spot so firmly that he barely noticed Uhura's gentle but firm steering of his body out the pub door. Awareness reappeared as they stood next to his motorcycle. Then Jim stared at Uhura for a long while. A grin finally spread slowly across his face.
"Oh come on, Jim. Don't look at me like that! You wanted to do the same thing."
"Uhura, guys don't do that to other guys unless it's life or death. It's part of the Bro' Code. Never seen you move that fast!"
"After the Duke Mackinzie incident, I decided to study more hand-to-hand combat. First time I've used it, though. It felt wonderful," she reminisced, tightening the protective helmet on her head and climbing on the bike.
"You'd do that to me if I pissed you off?," Jim asked her as he released the clutch and the bike accelerated towards home.
"I wouldn't need to for you, Jim." she spoke into the ear slots on the helmet.
The acceleration noise drowned out the sound of his hearty laughter.