The Unimpressed Hound

Paul was a simple person. He worked a desk job, crunching numbers from day in, day out. In his free time, he usually played video games, like Mass Effect. His life was dull, and notable things only rarely happened. But now... He couldn't decide if his friends are playing prank on him, or there was something in that pizza he ordered.

Because there was a live turian staring at him. And this particular turian was not happy.

„I'm only going to ask you one more time. How did you get on the Citadel, past all the security checkpoints without any kind of identification whatsoever."

Paul sighed for what must have been the 100-th time. „I told you, I have no idea. I fell asleep on my apartment on Earth, in freaking London, and suddenly I wake up inside an alley on the Zakera ward. For all I know, it could be my friends playing a stupid joke on me."

The turian wrote something on his datapad. 'Probably telling his pals to check my blood for drugs,' Paul thought.

Then he thought of something else entirely.

„Wait... How do you know I'm not some sort of spy?"

The C-Sec officer sneered.

„Because a spy would not be dumb enough to get himself caught by asking questions from Avina, the Citadel's VI."

„Or maybe I'm a special case."

That only seemed to anger the officer.

„You're only making this harder on yourself. We just want to know how you got here past the security, and we can arrange a transport back home for you, if you really are telling the truth."

A few minutes went in silence, with Paul staring at the table in front of him, and the turian occasionally tapping something on his omni-tool.

Until said tool beeped.

The turian tapped his ear.

„Sir?"

„Are you sure, sir?"

„Alright, sir, I'll hand him over."

Paul seemed to perk up a bit after the last sentence.

„It's your lucky day, kid. Your cousin called, told us she'd pick you up. Apparently you weren't lying about it being a prank after all. The next time your friends do something like this again, and I'll personally track them down, got that?"

Paul did his best to hide the confusion.

„Yes, I got that"

„Good. Now come along."

They went out of the interrogation room, with Paul wondering just who would bail him out like this in this galaxy.

When they made it to the C-Sec HQ Lobby area, Paul's jaw simply dropped, because the moment he saw her, he knew the person who arranged this.

Miranda Lawson.

Then he remembered all about Cerberus, and was suddenly scared of what they want from him. He decided to take things at a time and see if he can play this off.

„All right, officer. I'll take him from here."

The turian officer only nodded, and walked away.

Then Miranda looked at Paul, and by the look of her face, Paul realized she probably wasn't very impressed.

„Come with me, we need to talk."

After they were out of the C-Sec Headquarters, Paul couldn't help, but ask: „What does Cerberus want with me?"

Miranda raised an eyebrow. „You know of us?"

Paul started smirking. „Some of your... Actions and operations aren't exactly the subtlest. Especially in the Terminus."

This is when Miranda got suspicious, and decided to keep a better eye on him.

„How do you know about our operations in the Terminus Systems?"

„Oh, a little bit of info from here, a little bit from there..." Paul answered enigmatically.

Soon after, they arrived at an apartment on top of a skyscraper in the Wards.

Miranda told Paul to get in with a simple hand movement, and locked the door behind them. Then she activated a spherical device and set it down on a table.

When she saw Paul's look, she simply said: „A bug-scrambler." He made a silent Oh-motion with his mouth.

Then Miranda started questioning him.

„How did you get on the Citadel without triggering any alarms in the security checkpoints, and without any identification?"

Paul shrugged. He didn't actually dare to say anything at this point, knowing that Miranda is good at getting information. Sometimes violently.

„I asked you a question."

„I know you did."

„Then answer me." Paul noted that Miranda's tone was getting a bit forceful.

He sighed.

„I simply don't know."

„What do you mean by that?"

„What I mean, is that I don't even remember getting on a ship, or shuttle. Really, you should ask my friends. They organised this entire thing. Probably as a prank," Paul added that last bit almost with a whisper.

Miranda smirked slightly, and started moving her hand towards her gun.

„Then you're of no use to us."

„Wait! I know information! A lot of stuff, actually! I can tell you what's going to come, and you can triple-check everything I told you this very year!"

Miranda had a predatory smile at this point.

„You really think that will save you?"

Paul started sweating, and rambling.

„I can give you an excellent example! For example – I already said that, shit. Anyways, For example, I know The Illusive Man's name!"

Miranda was slowly moving towards Paul with deliberate hip-motions, obviously enjoying his distress.

„His name is Jack Harper! I also know where he got his blue eyes from! A turian by the name of Desolas Arterius took him to some weird-ass temple on Palaven, and it-and it did something to him and a bunch of turians!"

Now Miranda was slightly curious. She made a note of it to ask The Illusive Man about this later.

„And I know where your Headquarters is!" he finished that with a hopeful smile. The smile grew when he saw Miranda stop dead in her tracks and started to eye him warily.

„It's in the Horsehead Nebula, around a red supergiant Anadius! It's called the Cronos Sta..."

Miranda threw Paul out of the window biotically.

By the time he hit the ground, she was already halfway down the stairs to go and inform her superior about a massive security breach.

I always wondered if I should try my hand at FanFiction, but never though it would be THIS fun to write! Thank you for all the reviews! I hope you enjoy this as much as the last ones, if not more :)