The Mother Of Shitters (Note: If you notice a weird update, it's because of a horrible error I discovered in this chapter.)

Jake was trudging through a sewer, with his Lancer assault rifle raised. His nerves were worked up, mostly because there could be a batarian or a krogan waiting to blast him behind a corner.

How did he get into this situation? By arriving in the Mass Effect universe, ass first, of course. He found his current assault rifle just lying on a floor in Omega, and decided to take up mercenary work. After a few easy odd jobs here and there, managed to get some basic gear, like armor and such.

Now he was after a batarian slaver because of a bounty on the bastard's head. The problem? His hideout was somewhere in the sewer system in the lower parts of Omega. And it's also large. And a maze of shit, dead bodies, and all the other dark secrets the inhabitants of Omega decided to hide.

At least the one who had the bounty out, had also written, that the batarian hideout can't be close to the waste processing system, which ruled out only about 1/10-th of the entire goddamn sewer.

But after Jake picked up the trail of conspicuously hidden mercenaries, he knew the where he had to go.

So there he was... Occasionally flicking off an odd condom, or something that looked suspiciously like a sex toy for a varren.

Things started to get interesting, when he arrived in a large chamber, that was in almost pristine condition. The first thing Jake noticed, was that there was a large shrine-like object in the middle. Then he noticed that the chamber had almost no waste to speak of.

'Somebody has been awfully busy,' Jake thought.

He approached the shrine, and after seeing it, could only say: „What in the absolute fuck?"

It was a collection of dildos, arranged in a throne-like shape. The „throne" had a vintage style picture of a vorcha surrounded by a heavenly light on it.

Jake hear a noise. He instantly turned, with his weapon raised...

Jake woke up to a series of mumblings, that oddly sounded like preaching. He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw, was a vorcha standing with his back turned to him. Then he noticed all the dozens of vorcha bowing before him.

„...And now you shall gaze upon this gift that came to us!"

'Is that thing talking about me?' Jake thought.

Then one of the bowing vorcha spoke in a light, raspy tone: „My lady! The male is awake!"

Jake was in shock. He had never even heard of female vorcha. And all these looked the same as the males.

Then the standing vorcha turned to look at him.

„You awakened!"

She had a delighted smile and clapped her hands together.

„We make more numbers now!"

He then noticed his hands and legs have been tied to the throne. He started struggling in hopes of getting away from what looked to be a perverted cult of vorcha.

The leading vorcha stepped close to him and cupped his chin.

„You not escape! We use your body! Pump ourselves full of seeds! Make our clan stronger!"

Now Jake was now in full panic mode. Seeing a vorcha's bum hole was not on his top bucket list.

When the vorcha turned her back to him again, he started trashing madly.

„Soon, our savior will save us! Make us strong! We take Omega, and live in glory!"

All the other vorcha started cheering.

Jake didn't break free of the straps, but he did break the throne apart. All that mattered to him, was that his hands were free.

The first thing he did, in his panic, was throw a grenade at the vorcha crowd... Which was 5 meters away from him.

Jake rolled and took cover behind the throne.

He opened his eyes only to be welcomed by a blurry, ringing world. He grabbed his side and felt that something had impaled him. Looking down, he noticed a purple dildo sticking out of his side.

Jake saw some vorchas stumbling around in a less-than-optimal state. He managed to unlock his Lancer from the magnetic seal, and started firing wildly.

Soon after, it gave a warning beep.

Meanwhile, his medi-gel had started to do it's magic, but the system had broken due to the explosion, overflowing into Jake's body. He was effectively overdosed, and he couldn't feel any pain anymore.

So the only logical thing to do, Jake apparently thought, was to get up and randomly bludgeon any vorcha still moving to death.

With his bare hands.

Which were now covered in vorcha guts, eyeballs, brains, and 20 other parts he couldn't even recognize.

Jake was stumbling through the sewers, forgetting all about the slaver and only wanting to go home.

He had gone the wrong way. Now he was hiding behind a series of huge pipes as a squad of batarians were firing at him.

He had a hard time firing back, because one: massive amounts of rounds flying his way, and two: his vision was swimming thanks to the medi-gel overdose and whatever diseases were currently ravaging his immune system.

He also had a really hard time staying awake by now.

„Come out pal, and maybe we'll make your death quick!" he heard a batarian yell.

Jake took his last grenade, and lobbed it in the general direction of the batarians. After hearing an explosion, he popped out of cover and riddled a batarian with bullets, who had jumped over to Jake's side of his cover to escape the explosion.

He noted, that there were only 2 left, as there were 4 scorched bodies on the floor.

One of the two popped out of cover, and started firing at Jake, mad with rage.

His shields held long enough to cap the batarian and to get back in cover when the last one started firing at him.

Jake prepared his Sabotage program on the Omni-Tool, and fired it at the lone batarian. While the four-eyes was fumbling with his assault rifle, Jake ran up to him and fired at the batarian's head until there was no head to speak of.

Jake decided that he would take his chances against the slaver instead of going out of the sewers covered in shit and shame. So he stumbled onwards.

He could only move by sliding alongside the walls, using them as support.

His eyes were too blurry to make out any small objects.

He was repeating „The slaver can't be far now" like a mantra. Jake went around a corner, and stumbled into a batarian. They both raised their weapons, but Jake was too slow. The batarian too, apparently, because his chest exploded.

Then Urdnot Wrex ran past to claim his bounty, pushing Jake over and accidentally curbstomping his head.

He yelled: „Better luck next time, pyjack!" almost as an after-thought.

Yet another chapter of Arrivals In Effect! Tell me what you think of it ;D

I see that my list of favorites, follows and reviews are slowly growing. So far, all the reviewers seem to like my story, too! This is actually much farther than I thought I would get! So thank you people. Without seeing the follows and favorite count slowly, but steadily rise, I would have never gotten the motivation to keep doing this. So don't forget to review, and I'll see you in next chapter!

Oh, also. If anyone has ideas for more chapters, send me a PM or write a review! If it it isn't beyond my power to write, I'll write it! And you'll also get the credit. Nearly forgot to mention that. I have already gotten quite a few neat ideas from your suggestions ;)